Charlotte's Web II: The Sequel
by GrimmZ
Summary: Now that they're together some force of evilor good wants to split up Ryoga and Nabiki, Nabiki has some evil plans of her own on the horizon as she prepares to attend college and Ranma and Ryoga get to fight a moose[Multiple Pairing]
1. We're back yo!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2, or any characters from it, Ryoga and Nabiki in particular are not my creations and are not my property. Charlotte's Web (The book the movie and whatever else they made it) is not my property, however the Fan Fiction of the same title was my own work having little to nothing to do with spiders. Original characters made up by myself are my creative property, and blessedly too pathetic to be copied by anyone.  
  
Not For Children . . .  
If you're a kid . . . and you're reading this . . . STOP!  
This story is for older, more mature people, (mind you kids can be plenty mature, but I'm using the grown up meaning of the word, which translates to: Over 18) it is filled with grown-up innuendo, adult situations and such, and now you (or your child if you're a marauding parent) have been warned, I shouldn't have to fill this, or any other story with the dreaded 'curse words' to make you realize that it isnt child-safe.  
  
Charlotte's Sequel  
Chapter I  
We're Back, Yo!  
  
Ryoga Hibiki woke up, stretched, and looked around. Another beautiful day in . . . well, wherever they were. Nabiki claimed that they were headed for the Tendo Training Hall, Ryoga didn't recognize any of the terrain though. He didn't dare suggest that she'd gotten lost. Not to her face anyway, and if he wasn't saying it to her face there just wasn't much point to saying it since she was the only person he'd seen for the past week.  
He was getting the feeling that she preferred seclusion, though he'd never figured her being anti-social before. Really she was always such a people person . . . in her way.  
They'd actually been surviving off of money she'd scammed from people, Ryoga had tried time and time again to convince her not to take other people's money, on one occasion it had led to a *serious* conflict. But in the end he gave up and let her have her way, it seemed to please her so much to count her 'winnings'.  
He hadn't really taken many jobs on the road, since he had to stay in one place to be able to hold a normal job, there just weren't many places that handed out salaries daily, who knew?  
He took a deep breath, breathing in the forest/swamp/wherever air, relaxing. From the tent came the sounds that usually meant Nabiki was awake. The sound of someone rolling around in a sleeping bag, the scream at whatever had gotten into her hair over the last night, and of course her actual appearance a few moments later. Upon her wake, Nabiki Tendo, a person possessed by the soul of an ancient Chinese goddess looked more like a normal mortal: her hair was messy, somehow she'd managed to get a twig in it–though there were no sticks in the tent–her image of perfection was gone, with the exception of the light of intelligence in her eyes.  
Ryoga smiled at her, "Where'd this come from?" He asked, taking the twig out of her hair.  
"Good question. Probably from rolling around with my boyfriend after you went to sleep."  
"Who is this boyfriend you speak of? We're the only ones out here, and we didn't do anything last night." Ryoga said, raising his eyebrows in mock confusion.  
"Yeah honey, I said 'boyfriend' not 'fiancee' I only fool around with you on days that don't start with a T or an S."  
"Monday, Wednesday, Friday . . . Huh? Hey, that's true!" Ryoga realized. "You've got a schedule?"  
"Of course." Nabiki said. "All women have them, sweety, it's a recipe for success. That's why in all the best post-apocalyptic movies, if the world wasn't conquered by women, the strongest tribe is the one with the most women."  
"I thought they just tracked women down to increase the endangered population." Ryoga said.  
"Well I didn't say the women didn't get to enjoy themselves." Nabiki smiled. "Take you and me for example, I'm the brains, you're the brawn, I let you think you're in charge because it amuses me and because I know better, we fool around every now and then, we get along fine."  
"Nabiki, I gave up any notion of being in charge five minutes into our trip when you forced me, under threat of tears to give you the map." Ryoga remembered vaguely–for he'd been trying to forget–how he'd scoffed and said 'So you'll cry? Big deal!' and then in response Nabiki had begun to weep, then wail, begging him to think of the children and not hit her again. Of course he hadn't hit her, but the people in the general area didn't care, a crying woman's word weighed more than her shocked, embarrassed boyfriend's and if looks could kill Ryoga would have died a thousand deaths. (Men be warned, girls *will* do this x_x)  
"Ah yes. It's good you know your place, my handsome servant." Nabiki smiled.  
Ryoga shrugged "I may know my place today, tomorrow I'll probably get lost."  
"Well . . . that's why your lucky you've got me on this little trip. If you were still pining for my sister you'd have died of starvation by now simply because you'd never have worked up the nerve to ask her to come with you. How did you ever survive without me?"  
"Well my supplies and *funds* don't usually run out this quickly." Ryoga shrugged. "It's like there's five people traveling around with us."  
"Yeah, yeah, we've talked about this before." Nabiki sighed. "It's not my fault if being a woman is more expensive than being a man."  
"Somehow I don't think it is. I think you're just more expensive than normal women."  
"You make it sound like I'm a hooker." Nabiki scoffed.  
"I didn't mean it like that." Ryoga said. "You just ask for money whenever I have any, you talk sweet when you're broke, and you never leave my side, oh wait, I guess I did mean it like that."  
"I haven't charged you for sex."  
"But you come close to it, remember the other week when you saw those gloves you liked and you told me if I didn't buy them, despite the fact that I was broke, you'd sleep with the first guy to come along willing to pay for them?"  
"Aww stop whining about that, I was just joking. Now are you going to spend all day staring off into the distance, or are you going to kiss me?"  
"I can do both!" Ryoga cried defiantly.  
"You have to close your eyes to kiss me." Nabiki observed.  
"I don't *have* to." Ryoga scoffed.  
"But you will." Nabiki said.  
"I doubt it." Ryoga said. "We'll see."  
"Do you want to bet on this?" Nabiki asked.  
"Sure, why not? I've got nothing to lose."  
"Then I've got nothing to gain." Nabiki scoffed.  
"You get kissed." Ryoga pointed out.  
"I'd be kissed anyway." Nabiki said, leaning against him now.  
"Says who?" Ryoga asked, taking a step back.  
"All right, I'll bet you close your eyes, if you do you have to pack up camp by yourself, if you don't I'll give you back some of the money I fleeced--uh, 'won' off you in cards last night."  
"Y'know normal couples don't bet on hands of Old Maid." Ryoga noted.  
"We're not like normal couples, honey."  
"All right." Ryoga said. "I accept your challenge, one kiss, no eye closing. Hey, wait a second, what if I blink?"  
"Too late!" Nabiki cried, lunging forward and kissing him.  
He blinked almost right away. It wasn't like she ever did help him pack up camp anyway.  
  
Ranma sat at the breakfast table across from his favorite, most beloved, most beautiful fiancee . . . no, not Shampoo . . . no, not Ukyo . . . that other one . . . what's her name? The one who yells a lot? Oh yeah, Akane.  
He watched her closely, gazing at her short, dark hair, his heart yearned for her, to hold her in his arms, and spend forever basking in the sunlight of her love.  
Or strangle her, whichever came first.  
"Hey Ranma, do you think Nabiki will come back today?"  
"I hope not." Ranma mumbled. "Wha? Oh! Uh . . . sure, she'll show up any time now, Akane." Ranma said. 'With my luck she's still with Ryoga.'  
"I wonder what sort of places she and Ryoga have seen." Akane sighed.  
"We can only wait 'n see." Ranma sighed. 'I really don't care though.' He decided.  
"Do you think they'll be back in time for our wedding?" Akane asked.  
"I know Nabiki wouldn't miss it for the world." Ranma said, it was true too, she wouldn't, because she'd be there to charge people for parking. "If they're gone *that* long they aren't coming back." he mentally added: 'And I'm just not that lucky.'  
"I hope so . . ." Akane sighed.  
Near the beginning of summer, Nabiki Tendo, Akane's older sister, had decided to sneak off to spend her vacation with Ranma's rival Ryoga, Ranma had never been happier! He didn't have Ryoga challenging him every week, and he didn't have Nabiki scamming him out of his every yen. Who cared why she'd gone? The two were engaged as part of some sort of scam, Ranma had forgotten about it a while ago.  
Life was great! But then he'd gotten a letter of challenge from Ryoga. Ever since Akane was all excited about Nabiki coming home, and seemed to expect him to be excited about Ryoga showing up too.  
But it'd never happen. Not in a million years. Never would he be happy to see Ryoga, ever!  
Then Kasumi came in, escorted by a familiar face. Ranma threw himself at the rough looking boy, grabbed him in a bear hug and cried "Ahh! You come back buddy! I missed ya so-ho-ho much!"  
"Please get him off of me!" Mousse exclaimed.  
"Eh? You're not Ryoga!" Ranma scoffed.  
"What was your first clue?" The male amazon scoffed.  
"Gee Ranma, I guess you really miss Ryoga." Akane said.  
"Shaddap." Ranma grouched.  
"What are you doing here anyway, Mousse?" Akane asked.  
"The ghoul sent me here with a letter for the assassin."  
"We haven't seen her all week." Ranma said. In truth this had been an incredibly good week for him. Of course she usually came back around Sundays, and today was Sunday.  
Mousse shrugged. "No matter. Would you mind telling the old ghoul that I delivered it successfully, if she asks?"  
"Sure." Ranma shrugged.  
"Any idea what it's about?" Kasumi frowned.  
"I am not sure, Akane," Mousse admitted, mistaking Kasumi for Akane, "but I say it is probably another taunt, though she has never delivered them in writing before. All the same I suggest you tell the assassin to be careful." The strikingly attractive amazon boy shrugged.  
That wasn't so unusual, Lotion and Cologne were bitter enemies, the younger woman seemed to hold some sort of childhood grudge against the elder amazon, something about being tied nude to a tree overnight, and locked in a cupboard for a week, Ranma didn't care enough to listen to the sob story. Cologne didn't seem sorry in the least for whatever injustice she'd committed against Lotion, insisting that the assassin was so stupid, and annoying, that her acts had been justified fully. Ranma agreed, Lotion was the second most annoying person he'd met.  
Not quite so annoying as Kodachi of course, but close. Both had insane, maniacal laughs, they'd probably get on well.  
"Wont you stay for tea?" Kasumi offered Mousse.  
He squinted at her through his nearly useless glasses. "Ukyo? Oh no, I couldn't possibly stay, I must be going, the old ghoul wants those pigs Akari gave her to have baths, and you know Shampoo will not be the one to do it." He said. He waved, and left, knocking over a vase and a picture on his way out. The sad part was that this was a personal best for nearsighted Mousse.  
Kasumi looked at the letter Mousse had delivered and shrugged. It was a piece of pulp paper rolled like a scroll, tied at the middle. "Do you suppose we could read this without her knowing we did?" Kasumi asked.  
"Why bother? None of us understand Chinese, and it's just a taunt anyway, probably some mama jokes and a crack about her puny rack." Ranma scoffed.  
"Crack about her rack? Jeez Ranma, did you stay up all night thinking that one up?" Akane scoffed.  
"Nope, the funny just flows, baby." Ranma chuckled.  
"The message feels urgent." Kasumi said. "Isn't it odd that Lotion hasn't been seen for a week, and now Mousse shows up telling her to watch her back?"  
"You think something happened to her?" Akane asked. Ranma scoffed. He knew, for some strange reason Kasumi had grown attached to the assassin, but he tried to imagine how he'd feel if Lotion was hurt, or worse . . .  
He couldn't get the image of himself dancing on a coffin while his favorite music played in the background, out of his mind. But he knew darn well he wasn't that lucky, Ryoga would probably kick the bucket before Lotion did . . . again, the image of himself dancing on a coffin, however this time Ranma wore black, out of respect for his rival.  
  
The man sat at his desk, stroking the goatee that he was quite sure made him look like a stud.  
"How does it look today?" The man demanded.  
"It's looking well, everything is moving on schedule. The Tendo Training Hall wont know what hit them, we can attack on time." His apprentice said.  
"That fool Tendo, he thinks that just having another son-in-law will stop us? He is in for a surprise." The man laughed maniacally.  
"Yeah . . . about that . . . I've been an instructor here for about a year now . . . I still haven't seen my first pay check." The apprentice frowned.  
The man massaged his temples. "Patience." He said.  
"You've been saying that for nine months! I could have had a kid by now and I'd still be broke! I want my money!"  
"Can we negotiate it? This attack is rather important."  
"We'll be ready to attack in a couple days . . . you have until then to get me my money." The apprentice scowled.  
"I'll see what I can do, my young apprentice." The master sighed.  
"And stop calling me your apprentice! I've been an instructor here for a whole year!"  
"Yeah, yeah. What do you want? A prize?"  
"No, just a paycheck!"  
"Shut up already," he scowled, "as you can see, I am building a house of cards here?"  
The apprentice left, mumbling something about dropping him like a house of cards.  
  
Akane sighed, and watched TV with Ranma and her dad. There wasn't a whole lot to do these days, Mousse wasn't challenging Ranma anymore, Ryoga wasn't around to do it, and they hadn't had any strange adventures lately.  
Akane longed for something! Anything! "Life is so boring! I want some excitement!" She cried.  
Then the wall caved in, the same wall that had been destroyed by ninjas back in the spring, dad screamed and ran over to an undamaged wall and promptly began slamming his head against it, the wall and it's repair had been quite an issue through the spring, an for part of the summer.  
The cause of the problem was a young woman with a slight resemblance to Shampoo, except that her hair was silvery white, she was skinnier, and her breasts weren't quite as wonderfully large. "I have returned!" Lotion cried. "And I have brought dinner! It is very fresh! So fresh that we still have to kill it! Haha!" She cried.  
"Wow . . . that's a big deer." Ranma said.  
The skinny assassin was sitting atop the head of a bull Moose, six feet tall at the shoulders with antlers that you could probably set up a hammock on.  
"Y'know, you really have to be careful what you wish for Akane." Kasumi sighed.  
"Where did you get a moose?" Akane blinked.  
"In Canada of course. I went there to look for the Male Servant."  
Akane blinked, then remembered that was what Lotion called Ryoga. "In Canada?" Akane blinked again.  
"Yes. I did not want to go back to China, I was unimpressed with America, I would not be able to stand the African heat, and if I went to Australia I would want to see the koalas, you know, I do not really believe they exist. In short I would have wasted my time the whole time. Sort of what I did in Canada actually, but I think I learned to speak Canadian."  
"Uh . . . okay . . ." Kasumi frowned. "Why were you looking for Ryoga?"  
"Only because I said that I would." She cried defensively. "I am not out to kill him or anything, there is no contract on his life if that is what you think! I figured I'd get around to looking for him as I said I would, before he found me and was angry and vengeful . . . so very vengeful."  
Akane sighed. It was the strangest thing, she didn't want excitement anymore, she wanted things to be boring again. Dad was still trying to smash his head in.  
Something had to be done, that moose had to go! "All right Ranma, go get him!" Akane said, shoving Ranma forward.  
"Do what now?" Ranma asked, he dodged an enraged moose hoof, then lunged forward, attempting to attack . . . and the moose kissed him. "I have been violated!" He cried, falling to the ground and shaking.  
"Yes . . . I would pity you if it were possible for me to feel that emotion. Well now someone must take gender switching servant to get a shot." Lotion said. "Or else it shall grow ill with moose love diseases."  
"Y'know for some reason I'm *glad* I didn't understand a word of that." Ranma growled.  
"I did!" Nodoka cried, appearing out of nowhere! "My son needs a shot! To the hospital, post haste! Don't worry, Soun darling, I'll be back for some fun later."  
"NNNOOO!" Ranma cried, Akane didn't know if he was screaming because his mom just basically made an 'appointment' with her dad, or if he was screaming in fear of the shot. Either way, he had due cause for concern . . . maybe not a sissy scream, but concern at least was justified.  
"NNNOOO!" Soun also cried as Panda Genma leapt out and mauled him. Akane wasn't sure if her father was screaming because he was being mauled by one of the so-called gentle animals of the wild, or because his best friend's wife had just informed him that they'd be . . . doing naughty things, which Soun wasn't completely comfortable with. Which was good, Akane would hold no respect for her father if he actually enjoyed committing adultery.  
Sober.  
Akane sighed, and slapped her forehead. Then she rubbed it, because she'd hurt herself. When she opened her eyes the moose was gone. "What the heck?"   
"It shall return." Lotion said. "It knows where we live, it shall gather a great horde and return to do battle with us. When it does, we shall feast!"  
"Where'd it go?" Akane asked.  
Lotion shrugged and made a grunting sound "I 'uhhu."  
"Too bad Ryoga isn't here . . . we could force him and Ranma to rebuild the wall."  
"Yes, truly a shame. Well . . . I desire tea . . . tea and honey . . . much tea . . . and honey . . . just the right blend of them mind you, perhaps they will invent honey flavored tea one day, what is there to eat?" Lotion asked.  
"Oh no young lady, no food for you until–GGRRAAHHHH–this wall is repaired!" Soun cried, rolling around with an enraged Genma Saotome.  
"But it took many days to repair the last time!" She protested.  
"Then let your hunger fuel you!" Soun cried.  
Lotion threw a hammer at him, however it hit the still attacking panda square between the eyes. Soun stood up and laughed triumphantly.  
"Before you start trying to rebuild the wall," Kasumi said, "I need to see you for a moment."  
"Don't feed her." Soun warned.  
"I wont." Kasumi assured him.  
Akane sighed, and turned on the TV. "I sure wish Weeks of our Lives hadn't ended." She sighed. "Who'd have thought, in the end, Gray would have a sex change, and marry his greatest enemy, and who'd have suspected that in the end, all of those incredibly loose, sultry women would turn into a secret society, devoted to establishing sexual equality for dolphins and humming birds!" She sighed again.  
Genma leapt up at father, and they rolled off towards the dojo.  
There was a knock at the door . . . Akane went and answered it . . .   
"Hey there!"  
"NABIKI!" Akane cried, lunging forward.  
"What? It's me, Ukyo! I came to see Ranma-honey."  
"Oh . . . he went to the hospital." Akane shrugged.  
"What? Is he okay? Tell me if he's okay Akane!" Ukyo cried.  
"Oh sure, he just needs a blood test to make sure he hasn't got some sort of disease. See, he got frenched by a--"  
"How could he? As if being engaged to someone like *you* wasn't bad enough!" Ukyo cried. She ran off for the hospital.  
Akane sighed, and slammed the door. There was another knock, she opened it, "Greetings Akane Tendo!"  
"NABIKI!" Akane cried, throwing her arms around the person. "You've been gone too long!"  
"Why, Akane Tendo! I feel the same way, for even a moment away from you is like an eternity. I knew one day you would fall into my arms!" Kuno cried, Akane let go, punched Kuno into the sky, and slammed the door, she leaned against it, panting and locking every lock.  
About ten minutes later, there was another knock at the door, Akane warily opened it.  
"Oh . . . uh Nabiki?" Akane asked cautiously.  
"Hmm? I thought you'd be more excited to see me." Nabiki said.  
Akane blinked. The woman standing at the door looked a little different, her hair was a little longer, and she wore a worn pair of pants, and a simple T-shirt, and one of Ryoga's bandanna's around her neck like a scarf, hardly good fashion . . . but it was Nabiki! "Yay!" She cried, lunging forward, wrapping her arms around her older sister and crushing her. "I'm so happy to see you!"  
"That's more like it. Oh, Ryoga is back too. But you don't have to say 'hi' to him." Nabiki said. "Fawn over me s'more!"  
"You've been gone too long," Akane scolded, "we were afraid you'd never come home! We thought you'd just go straight to college and never see us again!"  
"Uh . . . actually Akane . . . I'm not . . . er . . . well I'd never leave without telling you." Nabiki said nervously. "You . . . didn't rent my room out, did you?"  
"Nope." Akane said.  
"Good. I ask because I would have rented yours out to anyone willing to pay . . . I'm changing my cloths. Ryoga, do . . . whatever it is you do when I'm not around." Nabiki chuckled. "We'll talk later Akane, I promise."  
Ryoga came inside with an apologetic look on his face. "I tried to get her back sooner, gosh how I tried to get her back sooner, but she kept leading me the wrong way, we only got back here by supreme coincidence. By the way, I think I saw a moose running around outside, is that normal now?"  
Akane frowned. "Uh . . . not really . . . Hand Lotion brought it back for dinner, but it frenched Ranma, now he's going to get a shot."  
Ryoga chuckled. "I should thank her . . . er . . . sorry."  
"That's fine." Akane shrugged. She sort of liked the idea of cocky old Ranma being tied down for a shot. "So . . . what sort of stuff did you guys do? Where did you go? Who did you meet? How often did you get lost?"  
"Uh . . . well we didn't really meet anyone, we spent a lot of time, uh . . . by ourselves. We looked at a couple foreign colleges, couldn't get anywhere near the really good ones because of security though. We did get to see some historical places, nothing special. Nabiki wants her face carved into a mountain now."  
"That's Nabiki." Akane sighed.  
"We were lost most of the time," Ryoga continued, "that is . . . I was. She always knew where we were going, she more or less led the way, claiming that it was my fault every time we ended up at a theme park, or a beach, or--once or twice--a cheap motel instead of the dojo or training ground I was aiming for. Actually we only got back because I recognized the area, and called a taxi." Ryoga scratched his chin, Akane noticed he sort of needed a shave, "To tell the truth, I didn't really mind too much. But every time I wanted to challenge Ranma, she wouldn't let me come back."  
"Why not?" Akane frowned.  
"I don't know." Ryoga shrugged.   
Akane shook her head. "Well it's great to see you again, Ryoga. Thanks for taking care of my big sister."  
"We took care of each other really." Ryoga said. "I couldn't ask for a better traveling companion."  
"And just think, by this time next year you two will be husband and wife . . ." Akane sighed, romantically.  
"Er . . . yeah, sure." Ryoga said.  
  
Nabiki sighed, and threw herself onto her bed. She was home! She should be glad, but she wasn't. Ryoga had tried to convince her to come back for a while now, but she couldn't. She didn't want to face her family . . . she couldn't tell them . . .  
She didn't dare tell them, it'd kill father, and she didn't want to do that until his will was worth something. She hadn't even told Ryoga, but she could tell he was starting to realize something was amiss.  
"I have to tell them sooner or later." She decided. "Later is better than sooner of course." She sighed.  
"Nabiki!" Kasumi cried, knocking on her door. Nabiki groaned and answered it. "You've come home!" Kasumi cried, hugging her, and nearly crushing every bone in her body. "I was so worried! I know you were traveling with Ryoga, but we all know how easily he gets lost! Oh Nabiki, I've missed you sssooooo much!"  
"Th-thanks! N-now . . . AIR!!" Nabiki gasped. Kasumi let her go. "It's good to see you too." Nabiki noted.  
"We've missed you." Kasumi smiled.  
"You said that." The younger woman pointed out.  
"Right. Well we really did. And we got letters from colleges all over the world!"  
"Hmm? But I didn't apply to–"  
"Of course you did! And you got many, many replies, most of them are printed on fancy, expensive envelopes, the one from Marvard is velvet!"  
"Marvard? Velvet?" Nabiki blinked.  
"Yes!" Kasumi said.  
"But I didn't apply there!"  
"Here, just take a look at your letters!" Kasumi said excitedly pointing at the pile of envelopes on Nabiki's desk.  
"I thought something looked different." Nabiki frowned. She walked over and opened some of them, most were nameless business colleges, some art schools, even a technical institute or two. Then of course there were top name universities inviting her to join their distinguished student bodies, one thing Nabiki noticed was that each college was in another country, the United States mostly. "I just got back from the US, why would I want to go there now?"  
"Well didn't you look at any of the colleges?"  
"Well sure, but I–"  
"And didn't you submit some college applications?"  
"Not to these places." Nabiki scowled. "I submitted some applications a few months ago, before I went off on my . . . vacation." Nabiki said. "No to Marvard . . . I've never even heard of Marvard!"  
"But they must be a good school, their envelopes are velvet and it smelled rather nice when it arrived, I imagine the scent has worn off by now." Kasumi said.  
"That's great, I'm not even going to ask you why you were smelling my mail. Uh . . . Kasumi, I didn't want to tell you this until I had everyone together . . . but . . . I'm not *going* to college." Nabiki said.  
Kasumi's smile didn't falter, but her eyes were wild with rage. "And . . . why is that?"  
"I'm–"  
"Pregnant, aren't you?! Father will DIE when he hears, how could you do this?" Kasumi cried.  
"Oh it's easy, Kasumi! You see, first you spread your legs and–Hey! I'm not pregnant!" Nabiki scowled. 'At least I don't think so . . .' She thought.  
"Oh? Well then . . . see that you stay that way." Kasumi warned. "Why aren't you going to college?"  
"Well . . . I just decided I'd rather spend my time with Ryoga." Nabiki lied.  
"If he . . . were dead . . . you'd go to college?" Kasumi asked hopefully.  
"No, if he were dead I'd mourn for a year." Nabiki sighed.  
"Curses!" Kasumi scowled. "He's a sly one, that Ryoga Hibiki!"  
"I just sort of decided while I was out there with him . . . that I'd rather just be with him for the rest of my life, who needs four to six years of parties, casual sex and orgies, drinking binges, all of it leading up to a cushy job?" Nabiki shrugged. 'Actually, when I say it like that it sounds like I made the wrong decision.' she thought.  
"You eloped!" Kasumi cried, holding her chest as if she'd had a heart attack, she fell to her knees.  
"No, I didn't." Nabiki sighed, Kasumi recovered. "Look, stop overreacting, I–"  
"Why not just go to college, and stay engaged like you were supposed to? Get married after college?"  
"Because . . . ah . . . I don't want to . . ." Nabiki said. "It's not like I don't trust him . . . it's just . . . he's a man."  
"How long do you think you can travel the world with him before you get bored with it? At least in college you'd learn some sort of skill you could use."  
"I've got mad sex skills already." Nabiki scoffed. And that was about the only skill she could see herself learning from any of these second rate colleges she'd never heard of.  
"Spit or swallow?" Kasumi demanded.  
"Why are you so opposed to this?" Nabiki frowned, deciding not to even bother answering that question.  
"Because I don't want to see you throw your life away. You're just eighteen, you've only lived a tenth of your life so far . . . wait . . . tenth? Eighteen . . . times ten . . . okay, you've lived–"  
"I get the picture Kasumi."  
"Right . . . well . . . what did Ryoga have to say?"  
"I haven't told him yet." Nabiki admitted.  
"Don't you think you should?" Kasumi asked. "It's all his fault after all."  
"It is not!" Nabiki protested. "You're just mad because I hooked him before you could."  
Kasumi laughed bitterly. "Not quite. Actually I'm just annoyed that you'd waste your potential just because of him. If he'd never shown up here trying to get revenge on Ranma you'd never have eventually met him, and never have eventually got around to remembering his name and inevitably you'd never have started dating him."  
"What can I say? The boy's got his uses, and that's the truth . . . uh . . . what's with all that 'eventually' stuff?"  
"It took you a couple weeks to notice that he wasn't Ranma, when introduced to one another you both just sort of grunted dismissingly."  
"Well I didn't care back then!" Nabiki said defensively.  
"Nabiki . . . while we're on the subject of 'news' I've got some for you . . ." Kasumi said.  
"What's that?"  
"I've just talked to Lotion . . . and she's agreed . . . to . . ."  
"To what?'  
"Well, Lotion and I are going to–"  
"OH MY GOSH!!! NOT THIS!!! NOT HERE!!! NNNNOOOO!!!" Ryoga shouted from downstairs.  
  
About a minute and a half earlier...  
"So where else did you guys go?" Akane asked.  
"Lot's of places," Ryoga shrugged, "we checked out colleges of course, she didn't really seem too interested. We got to go to this place with bright lights and stuff and a lot of gambling, she got work at a black jack table, I couldn't get her away from the place."  
"You let my sister work at a black jack table? In a place that sounds suspiciously like Las Vegas?" Akane's eye twitched.  
"Uh . . ." Ryoga scratched his head, "I didn't really see it being a problem, I mean she made more money that week than we started the trip with, and she seemed really happy while we were there, I'm not even sure why she agreed to leave."  
"She probably had a run in with the law, or the mob, had to flee the area before they came down on her and arrested her, or whacked her." Lotion noted. "I met a mobster once, very nice fellow. He did not like italian food though, I think maybe he was new to the whole business. He said he had some business to do down in Vegas, I bet they've got quite an enterprise set up there. Nabiki probably started running numbers for them. Maybe she was one of their call girls."  
Ryoga massaged his forehead, but Akane looked simply horrified. "You let my sister become some mobster's call girl!?"  
"No . . . I mean . . . I . . . don't think so . . ." Ryoga scratched his head.  
Akane was not appeased, Ryoga decided to back away slowly, and avoid any direct eye contact. It was working when there was suddenly a knock on the door, saving him. "I'll . . . get . . . it . . ." He offered, remembering to avoid direct eye contact.  
He quickly escaped Akane's immediate reach, and answered the door. "Oh . . . hi, Tendo Training Hall, challengers please use back entrance, have a nice day." Ryoga said, doing his best impersonation of Kasumi, answering the door with a smile and his eyes closed.  
"Ryoga! Don't just send our guest away!" Akane cried  
"Very bad manners!" Lotion agreed, she threw something at him, it hit him in the back of the head . . . it felt sort of like a brick.  
Ryoga shook his head to clear it. He looked at the person standing outside . . . strangely familiar.  
She was accompanied by a pink ninja, but Ryoga didn't care about that. She had long, raven hair, pretty brown eyes hiding behind silver framed oval lenses, a perfect, innocent face, a dazzling white smile, and a look of pure, uncontrolled joy.   
"C-could you be? Are you . . . Ryoga Hibiki?" She asked shyly.  
"OH MY GOSH!!! NOT THIS!!! NOT HERE!!! NNNNOOOO!!!"   
"Oh Ryoga! My Ryoga darling!" Yoshimi cried. "I knew it was you, you haven't changed . . . well you're taller and stronger of course! Oh Ryoga!"  
"Anyone but you! Anything but you!" Ryoga pleaded.  
"Settle down, Ryoga. Who are you?" Akane asked.  
"Why, I am Yoshimi Harume, age seventeen and three quarters, daughter of Kotaro Harume." Yoshimi bowed to Akane, then turned to Ryoga. "Didn't you tell them about me, my dear?"  
"Actually, until about four months ago, I blissfully forgot you existed." Ryoga grumbled.  
"Ryoga! That's not nice!" Akane said.  
"Oh my silly darling, you're just kidding, right?"  
"Of course he is, he's told us all sorts of things about you." Akane said.  
'No! Don't be nice to her! She's the enemy!' Ryoga thought.  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
For the CW Veterans: Yoshimi has finally entered the scene, learn more about her, find out what is in Lotion's message, and see The Battle of the Moose unfold int Part II: "The Boy who Cried MOOSE!"  
  
For the New Guys/Girls it's . . .  
GrimmZ's Original Character Dictionary (makes women's mouths water)   
Subjects: Kotaro Harume & Han Lo-Chun.  
  
Kotaro Harume is an international multi-billionaire with a small army of pink ninja body guards who will kill one another just for the chance to bring him his phone. He doesn't really like his daughter, Yoshimi. He, like Ryoga, doesn't really give any specific reason, but he's certainly willing to take a trip to Italy (not that there's anything wrong with Italy) to avoid being in the same area as her. Kotaro only wants his daughter to marry Ryoga so they can wander all over the place and never bother him again, he fails to realize that Ryoga eventually does end up here he was originally headed.  
  
Han Lo-Chun (Hand Lotion) is an amazon from Shampoo's village, with a very sad childhood that she likes to bring up on occasion. She claims to be a feared warrior/assassin, and Cologne did recommend her to Akari, but her fighting skills don't really back up her boasts. Most of the Ranma crew don't care for her, but some will tolerate her. She was hired to kill Akane, but she failed miserably. We're not sure what she's still doing in this story. 


	2. The boy who cried MOOSE!

Charlotte's Sequel  
Chapter II  
The Boy who Cried MOOSE!  
  
Nabiki came downstairs to see what all the commotion was about. She frowned when she saw that Akane and Ryoga were just talking to someone at the door. She'd expected a ninja attack or something.  
"Who is that?" Nabiki asked.  
"Why, I am Yoshimi Harume, age seventeen and three quarters, daughter of Kotaro Harume." Yoshimi bowed her head. Nabiki noticed the trademark pink ninja bodyguard of the Harume family. She frowned. From Ryoga's reluctance to meet with her, and his and horrifying description of her, Nabiki had been expecting something a little uglier, and much less polite. Yoshimi was cute! No, that was wrong. Her face was cute, her body was just plain fantastic, she had perfect curves, so perfect even Nabiki could recognize it, her chest would be enough to satisfy most mortal men, her legs went on for miles, her skin looked smooth and slightly tanned, she was a super model kind of girl!   
She was *almost* as pretty as Nabiki!  
"I have come, because I learned that my fiancee, Ryoga, was in town, I wanted to see him." Yoshimi explained, "I do hope I am not interrupting anything . . ."  
"Not at all." Kasumi smiled.  
"But Kasumi, weren't you about to tell me something?" Nabiki asked.  
"That can wait." Kasumi said cheerfully. Then she whispered to Nabiki, "Your greatest rival in love is here, it is time for you to crush her. I'll go make some poisoned cookies. When I serve them, don't eat the green ones."  
Nabiki blinked. "You've been hanging around Lotion too much! I've got goddess powers, I can handle this."  
"Actually," Kasumi said out loud, "Diao Chan wasn't a goddess, she's simply styled one in some circles, she was actually just some girl who whored herself out to two of the greatest tyrants of the time." Kasumi informed Nabiki. "Also, she's believed to not even have existed at all."  
"Wow . . . I've got the soul of a possibly fictional girl from ancient China with questionable morality . . . why does that turn me on?" Nabiki asked.  
Kasumi sighed, and shook her head.  
Nabiki went up to Yoshimi and invited her in, "I'm so sorry, you must think us very rude!"  
"Not at all, I understand that discussing the souls of goddesses is rather important work." Yoshimi smiled. "And actually no one can question Diao Chan's existence since her grave was found some time ago."  
"That grave could belong to anyone." Ryoga observed.  
"Oh, of course it could, I'm sorry, darling." Yoshimi lowered her head a bit.  
'Wow, she's rich, cute, sexy, and submissive.' Nabiki blinked. 'What doesn't Ryoga like about her? Heck, I'm about ready to marry her!'  
"Uh . . . y'know I really think . . . that Ranma should meet you, Yoshimi . . . I'll go get him." Ryoga bolted for the door, Akane slammed it shut.  
"Not a chance, you're going to face your problem like a rampaging bull, grab it by the horns, and show it that you're the boss!" Akane said.  
Ryoga stared at Akane as if he were trying to fathom what the heck she meant.  
"Akane, don't you think perhaps you're overreacting just a bit?" Kasumi offered at last.  
"But he's supposed to marry Nabiki!" Akane protested.  
"So, you love Ryoga darling too?" Yoshimi asked, looking Nabiki up and down.  
"Huh? Well yes, I'm his fiancee." Nabiki said simply.  
"Aha . . . I don't know if that's legal anymore." Yoshimi pointed out. "Having more than one wife, I mean."  
"Well . . . who said he'd have two?" Nabiki asked frostily. "If he's married to me . . . there's no one else."  
"Well . . . I too am his fiancee." Yoshimi pointed out a little nervously.  
"You don't say . . ." Nabiki said, straining not to use her powers to convince the girl to kill herself.  
  
Ryoga watched the scene nervously. His fiancee, and his worst nightmare! Incidentally both girls were in fact his fiancee, and his worst nightmare. But he only needed one of the former, he could, but preferred not to, live with two of the latter.  
But then there was a loud sound, and the door exploded, a huge moose charged into the room, and bucked Ryoga into the next floor.  
"Yay!" He cried. "A momentary distraction!" He leapt down and glared up at the moose. "Alright moose, this town ain't big enough for the two of us!" He said, pointing a challenging index finger at it, "I'm giving you to the count of five to get out of my sight. One . . . two . . . three . . . fo–AHH!" The moose rammed him and he flew into a large tree in the back yard.  
He glared at the Moose. "I wont have any of that!" He warned. "Prepare to die, moose!"  
"RRROWF!" A huge German Shepherd appeared at Ryoga's side, and barked in agreement.  
"Aww not you again!" Ryoga groaned. The dog licked his hand.  
"C'mon Ryoga, don't be a jerk, it's just a wild animal." Nabiki said.  
"Yes, and it must be taken to the nearest shelter, immediately, with the utmost care. I'll take it myself, you girls stay here and entertain Yoshimi. Make sure to introduce her to Ranma." Ryoga decided, dissolving the fighting stance.  
The moose rushed forward and trampled him, Mercedes the dog sort of gave a wheezing, barking laugh.  
Ryoga had been hit with rocks, he'd been burned alive, he'd put up with Yoshimi as a child, this moose was NOTHING! "That's enough of that!" Ryoga cried, throwing the moose into the air, it flew up several feet, and came back down, Mercedes rushed forward and tackled it in midair, the moose flew back and slammed into the concrete street, Ryoga leapt onto the roof and charged after the moose, it came up, antlers bared, it rammed him right back into the tree, leaving a hole in the Tendo house roof.  
Everyone else just watched, actually Ryoga was pretty sure he heard popcorn in the microwave.  
  
"You know, I didn't know Ryoga darling had a dog!" Yoshimi said. "Not like that, my spies tell me he has a smaller black and white dog."  
"He does." Akane said, "Mercedes isn't really his dog, more like a stray that wont leave him alone."  
"Actually Mercedes didn't bother us when we were out traveling around, the dog's residence is obviously Japan, I'd forgotten all about it." Nabiki noted. "Wait . . . did you say spies?"  
"Yes, how did you suppose I knew Ryoga darling had come back here? Did you think my appearance was a coincidence?"  
"Well . . . my hat's off to them, they work fast." Kasumi said.  
"We pay them well." Yoshimi smiled. The ninja guard coughed, Yoshimi frowned at him and he stood at attention.  
"Well I've got five hundred yen, twelve pounds and two dollars on Male Servant." Lotion said.  
"I'll take that and raise you two hundred yen for the moose." Akane said.  
"If you want to bet, you give your bets to me." Nabiki said. "I'm offering two to one odds in favor of Ryoga and Mercedes."  
"Oh yeah? Then put my various monies on the moose!" Lotion said.  
"I'll put a thousand down on the moose." Akane decided.  
"You realize that if no one bets for Ryoga, you could be out a lot of money." Kasumi pointed out.  
"You," Nabiki said, pointing to Yoshimi's pink ninja servant, "Five hundred thousand for Ryoga?"  
"Huh? But I only make five hundred yen every two years."  
"Really? Dad used to give me that for allowance, your job bites." Akane noted.   
"Five . . . hundred . . . thousand . . . here's your ticket." Nabiki said cheerfully.  
"Nabiki!" Kasumi scolded.  
"I'm just kidding." Nabiki sighed, she let Kasumi rip the thing up. "So Kasumi, what was it you were trying to tell me?"  
"Huh? Oh . . . well . . . Lotion and I have an announcement."  
"You're getting married!" Akane cried. "I knew you were a–"  
"Actually no." Kasumi sighed. "We've decided . . . to open up our own restaurant."  
"You've what?" Nabiki frowned. "That's just dumb."  
"Dumb like a moose, Nabiki, dumb like a moose." Kasumi said sweetly, quoting one of Ryoga's mother's favorite comebacks.  
"Don't remind me of *that* woman, please!" Nabiki cried. She and Ryoga's mother hadn't quite gotten along.  
"It'll be great. Lotion can bake weird cookies that for some reason taste good, and are highly addictive. I can cook just about anything else, best of all since she's an assassin she can go around and scare our competition, killing the executives and crippling their businesses, leaving them ripe for absorption. We'd make a fortune. Besides, we were hoping you'd use your mind tricks to make people come down." Kasumi said. It wasn't the words she said that shocked and sort of scared Nabiki, so much as the calm way that she said them.  
"I fully encourage young women to start their own businesses." Yoshimi smiled. "I have a business of my own . . . had . . . it went under . . . I had to fire all my employees . . . I put some people out on the streets and had to pay through my own pocket for new housing for them since it was part of their working contract . . . and in the end I got fined for breaking many laws. Of course compared to my father's fortune my debt was like a man taking a single glass of salt water from the ocean."  
"Uh-huh . . ." Nabiki scratched her head and decided to resist to urge to ask Yoshimi what her business had been. "What sort of food were you going to be serving, Kasumi?"  
"Pizza. And when we do a delivery, I get shot out of a giant cannon!" Lotion cried.  
"Uh . . . I said we'd talk about that." Kasumi said.  
"Actually, I'd like to see her shot out of a cannon." Nabiki observed. "I'd give you a big tip if the pizza actually survived the flight."  
"So would I." Akane said. "I'd pay just to see it."  
"Me too, what are we talking about?" Ranma asked. "Oh, Nabiki, howzit goin'? So, what'd I miss?"  
"Nothing, Ryoga is just fighting the moose you were too much of a coward to take on." Akane said.  
"Oh yeah? Well I got a stinkin' shot 'cause of that dumb animal!" Ranma sighed. "Didn't even get a sucker or anything either, the doctor just gave me this prescription. Put a thousand yen down on Ryoga!"  
Nabiki shook her head. "Ranma . . . Ranma, Ranma, Ranma . . ."  
"Ranma, get out there and help Ryoga!" Akane cried, shoving him forward.  
"AHH! I don't want another shot!" Ranma cried, grabbing and holding onto Akane's arm.  
"Go and die!" Akane cried. Ranma latched onto her arms.  
"Don't let me go! Don't send me away! I loves you baby!" Ranma cried desperately.  
"R-really?" Akane asked.  
"Never–er I mean yes!" Ranma cried, then he slapped some hand cuffs on her wrist and his, binding him to her. "I love you so much, I cant stand to part from you!"  
"Oh Ranma . . ." Akane gasped longingly, then her brain managed to form a thought for the first time in years. "Hey! Wait a minute! Ranma, you jerk!"  
"Where'd you get those?" Nabiki asked, trying not to sound as curious as she really was. What exactly did Akane and Ranma do in their spare time?  
"Oh uh . . . Kodachi . . . let me borrow them . . ." Ranma said.  
"Kodachi?" Akane cried.  
"Holy Snails, it hurts!" Ryoga cried.  
"Are you going to help him or not?" Akane demanded.  
"Well that depends . . . you coming with me?" Ranma asked.  
"Hmm . . . uh . . ."  
"I think Ryoga is doing just fine." Nabiki said.  
"I agree." Akane nodded.  
  
Some Time Later  
  
Ryoga ducked, and rolled, the moose brought it's head low and tried to ram him. Ryoga dove and let Mercedes tackle the moose instead.  
"Hmm . . . they work pretty well together." Nabiki said.  
"When the dog is not trying to eat him." Lotion agreed, examining the miniature statue of liberty Ryoga had gotten her. "Is this a weapon?"  
Nabiki sighed and shook her head. Akane showed up with a bowl of popcorn. "Any winner yet?"  
"Give me that." Nabiki scoffed, snatching the popcorn. "And no, the moose wont go down, and I think Ryoga is trying to prolong the battle."  
"Why ever would he do that?" Yoshimi sighed.  
"One can only imagine." Nabiki frowned at her hated enemy. Well okay, she didn't really hate her, why was Ryoga so scared of her?  
"Do you want me to go and get him?" Lotion asked.  
"No, let's just wait until they run out of energy and lay down for their naps." Kasumi said. Nabiki wasn't sure if her sister was being sarcastic or not.  
"I can *help* them lay down." Lotion offered. "Permanently. Haha!"  
"Why, if you brought the moose for dinner, did you bring it back alive?" Akane asked.  
"You expect me to carry that creature back?" Lotion cried.  
"Well why did you want to bring something so large back?" Nabiki asked.  
"Because I thought that Male Servant Ryoga might have returned, and I have seen how he and Gender Switching Womanizing Servant Ranma–"  
"I don't care for that title." Ranma interjected.  
"Compete at the table," Lotion continued "much as they compete in battle, and I wanted to be sure that there would be enough for all!"  
"That's very sweet of you Lotion." Kasumi smiled. "But, next time we'll just order something."  
"If you insist." Lotion shrugged. "And *please* I beg of you, my name is not Lotion. Unlike Shampoo I am not named after a soft, gooey liquid that men abuse in the shower."  
"Yeah, you're named after the one men abuse everywhere!"  
"How would you know that, Ranma?" Akane scowled.  
"Uh . . ." Ranma scratched his head. "I ain't done it if that's what you mean." He said.  
"My name is *Lo-Chun* my family name is *Han*, therefore by your stylings I should at least be Lotion Hand--"  
"I'd say that sounds ten times worse." Nabiki pointed out.  
"Oh I agree," Lotion nodded, "the point I am really trying to make here is that I do not appreciate people mispronouncing my name, after I have told you all time and time again the proper way to say it. It is rude and disrespectful and--"  
"Yeah, yeah, nobody cares." Ranma scoffed. "This is getting to be too much. Kasumi, give *Han* her stupid letter, maybe that'll shut her up, though I don't see how a piece of paper can succeed where the best doctors have failed." He got hit between the eyes with a miniature statue of liberty.  
"It is a weapon!" Lotion cried excitedly. "Yay!"  
"Oh my head!" Ranma groaned.  
"Well . . . Ranma is right, here Lotion, Mousse delivered this for you." Kasumi handed the assassin a rolled piece of paper.  
"The moose?" Lotion frowned. "Where did it get this?"  
"No, Mousse, and he got it from Cologne." Kasumi said.  
"The moose knows Cologne?" Lotion looked amazed.  
"No, not moose, Mousse." Kasumi explained.  
"I don't follow you." Lotion frowned in confusion.  
"Duck boy." Nabiki translated.  
"There is a duck boy too? Where?" Lotion cried.  
"The kid with long hair and glasses that wants to date Shampoo but cant 'cause she's obsessed with me!" Ranma interpreted.  
"Who?" Lotion blinked.  
"Oh for the love of–you're as dumb as Ranma!" Nabiki cried.  
"Hey!" Ranma protested.  
"You really shouldn't tease your sister," Yoshimi observed, "I don't pretend to know what it's like growing up with so many siblings, but if she is stupid you should not tease her about it, it is bound to cause damage to her self esteem. My cousin used to tease me, and make fun of me until Ryoga beat him up, it always made me so very sad."  
"She's not our sister." Akane said. "Just some girl we sort of let live with us."  
"Oh? Well in that case it's okay."  
"When did Ryoga beat your cousin up?" Nabiki asked.  
"Just before we met . . . officially." Yoshimi said. "It's an interesting story, one of chance and luck. I went to visit my cousin at my uncle's summer home, and Ryoga got lost in the area, we were all playing in the area, well as is his way my cousin teased me and then Ryoga stood up for me and I knew, as I tried to help cousin Yamato find his other tooth, that Ryoga was the man I would one day marry. So I told father, he arranged the meeting and we've been fiancees ever since!"  
"That's sweet . . . I guess." Nabiki frowned.  
"Ryoga is such a jerk." Ranma sighed. Nabiki threw some unpopped corn at him.  
"What does your letter say?" Kasumi asked.  
Lotion told them exactly what it said.  
Kasumi sweat dropped, and Yoshimi frowned and shook her head.  
"I don't speak Chinese." Nabiki sighed.  
"It is a letter from an Amazon named Sun Set. She writes to Cologne in question of my whereabout. It appears my assassin's skills are required . . ."  
"Why does this person want you?" Ranma asked.  
"We are old friends." Lotion said, Nabiki sensed a lie. "I believe it is safe to say however that she is in great danger at this time, I also believe it is time I was going."  
"Is there any danger?" Kasumi asked.  
"I will . . . handle it." Lotion said darkly.  
"Get over yourself, you couldn't kill a fly." Ranma scoffed. "Akane nearly beat you, and that's saying somethin'."  
"What exactly does it say, Ranma?" Akane growled.  
"It means Lotion couldn't fight her way out of a sack, with or without her knives." Ranma scowled. Akane hit him.  
Lotion scowled and tore the letter in half and threw the two pieces to the ground, she stormed off towards the dojo.  
Yoshimi took up the two torn halves of the paper, and frowned. Nabiki became suspicious that Yoshimi might actually know how to read Chinese.   
"That's terrible." Yoshimi frowned. Nabiki raised an eyebrow at her, but the younger woman offered no further conversation on the subject.  
  
Ryoga was getting tired, he couldn't even remember why he was fighting the moose, it'd come down to sheer primal aggression, he had no doubt that he and Mercedes could have defeated the moose much sooner, however he'd been stalling for some reason or another. It was time to end it all! He lunged forward and struck the ground beneath the Moose with his index finger, it collapsed and the Moose fell into the hole. It was perfectly fine, but it wouldn't be hitting people on the head anymore!  
"I've done it! I've–OOHFF!" Ryoga grunted as the moose turned it's head and whacked him with it's antlers. "GAH! That's it, screw you mister moose, you're venison!"  
"Ryoga, that's enough, we'll call some humane service or something and have the moose taken to a zoo, or back to Canada or something." Nabiki said.  
"Yes, come in already." Kasumi said.  
Ryoga sighed and came in. He sat down next to Nabiki. "Guess what?" His fiancee asked. "That wall over there, guess who fixes it."  
"Me?"  
"Why thank you for volunteering Ryoga!" Kasumi smiled. "And of course Ranma will help."  
"No problem." Ryoga and Ranma sighed.  
"Do I smell dinner?" Soun seemed to crawl out of the woodwork, he was covered in lipstick kisses, his long hair, which had grown back after his encounter with Principal Kuno, was messed up, and his cloths were inside out.  
"Certainly, father." Kasumi frowned.  
"It smells wonderful!" Genma said. He was as messed up as Soun. Ryoga felt a little strange, disturbed perhaps. He decided he'd probably kill Ranma if he ever found him in bed with Nabiki, he defiantly wouldn't join in.  
"Well now," Ranma said, apparently ignoring his father and Soun, "I've got a letter of challenge here from Ryoga!"  
"Really?" Ryoga blinked. "I meant to send one but I never got around to it."  
"Huh?" Ranma reached into his pocket and produced a letter. "To the swine Ranma Sotome; I, Ryoga Hibiki am coming to Nerima, be prepared for deadly combat, this time it is to the death, P.S. Nabiki says "hi"."  
"Well that sounds like something Ryoga would write." Nabiki sighed.  
"But I never did get around to writing a letter of challenge." Ryoga said. "And that's not even a proper one, it doesn't say where we'll meet, or what time."  
"I figured you'd left it loose since you didn't know when you'd be back, or where we'd meet." Ranma admitted.  
Ryoga shook his head. "I didn't write that, Ranma."  
"Then who did it?" Ranma demanded. "Here I put up with Akane being all excited about Nabiki coming back and chattering my ear off for days, just looking forward to a chance to fight you, and what happens? It's a fraud! Who sent it?"  
"I don't know, but if it's a fight you want then I'll take you on now!" Ryoga said.  
"Then let's do it!" Ranma agreed.  
"No," Kasumi sighed, "You'll eat first. And then wait thirty minutes."  
The boys sighed, and ate.   
"Now what're we supposed to do for thirty minutes?" Ranma asked.  
"Well . . . Yoshimi, is it? Why not tell us about how you and Ryoga met?" Soun asked.  
"Certainly!" Yoshimi said excitedly. "That is . . . if Ryoga darling will assist me?"  
"Uh . . . sure, I don't see why not . . ." Ryoga said nervously.  
"It was a bright, beautiful summer day," Yoshimi began.  
At the very same time Ryoga said "It was a cold, stormy, gloomy, winter day,"  
The two frowned. Obviously this girl didn't remember it properly. "You go ahead." Ryoga shrugged.  
She frowned. "Nonsense, you should tell the story, they are your friends, darling." Yoshimi said sweetly. Too sweetly, why couldn't anyone else see what a monster she was?  
"But we'd like to get to know you, so why not let us learn a bit about you through a riveting tale of your past?" Nabiki sighed.  
"Well . . . if you insist . . ." Yoshimi said, still looking at Ryoga as if to ask permission.  
"You tell them, I know the story well enough," Ryoga said, "I must go and wash my hands before dinner."  
"You've done that." Kasumi said. "And . . . it's after dinner."  
"I feel the need to do it again." Ryoga said, giving Kasumi a pleading look. The eldest Tendo daughter understood, and nodded his dismissal, he set off in the direction of the washroom, this might be more bearable as P-Chan.  
  
"Well . . ." Yoshimi frowned, "I was with my cousin, we were playing and as is his habit he was mocking me,"  
-------------  
"You're dumb, and you'd have flunked out of preschool if your father hadn't bribed the teachers!"  
"But my sire would not do that, and I did not fail preschool, indeed I do not believe it is possible to do so . . ." Yoshimi said.  
Her cousin stared at her for a moment. Then he shook his head and said, "You talk funny!"  
"Because I am learned."  
"You're stupid!"  
"Hey, stop teasing that young lady!" Ryoga cried. "Cant you see that is the woman I will one day wed? To mock her in that fashion is insulting to herself, and to me, and I wont have it!"  
"Eh?"  
"No more of your clever negotiations, we shall battle!" The five year old Ryoga cried, lunging forward.  
-------------  
"Wow, even as a kid, Ryoga was a over-dramatic jerk!" Ranma cried, Akane and Nabiki both whacked him.  
-------------  
The two fought violently, Yoshimi's cousin was an apprentice of the Harume style of Martial Arts Bookkeeping, however that really wasn't helping him here.  
Ryoga wiped the floors with him, and then threw him into the air, he landed safely in the sand box, face first.  
"Amazing!" Yoshimi cried.  
"Ah, 'twernt 'nothing." Ryoga said nervously.  
"I am Yoshimi Harume, who are you?"  
"The name's Ryoga Hibiki. But everyone I know just calls me Ryoga, I like that better." He said.  
"Hey! Yothimi! My tooth ith mithing!" Her cousin shouted.  
Yoshimi turned to the sand box and sighed as she picked up her cousin's baby tooth. She turned back and looked at the boy called Ryoga.  
She knew that he had to become her husband! She quickly wrote down her family's address and phone number and gave it to him, then hid her cousin's tooth in her pocket, and began to pretend to help him search.  
-------------  
"And we lived happily ever after." Yoshimi shrugged. "Rather, we shall in a year when I am of age and we are married."  
"That's a really . . ." Nabiki searched for the words . . . terrible? Stupid? Downright despicable? "Great story, but I have some questions."  
"Me too." Ranma nodded.  
"Oh please ask away! But one at a time, I beg." Yoshimi smiled.  
"Well . . . why Ryoga?" Nabiki shrugged. "There are lots of guys that could make better husbands for you. I know a guy, he's rich and powerful, and a skilled fighter to boot. He'd be a great husband."  
"May I answer your question with a question?"  
"I suppose."  
"If he would be such a great husband, why don't you marry him?" Yoshimi asked simply.  
'Because if I thought I'd have to wake up next to him every day for the rest of my life I'd slit my wrist.' Nabiki thought. "Oh-ho-ho no, he's not interested in me, I'm afraid I'm just too plain for him. He likes Akane, but not me," She sighed. "Alas, a young beauty like you would have no trouble attracting him of course. In fact if not for Ryoga's love, I might well have taken my own life." Nabiki said, waving her hand just in case her powers had returned a little early.  
"That is terrible! How can he be so cruel? There is nothing plain about you at all, you are beautiful!" Yoshimi cried, Nabiki decided she liked this girl . . . just a little bit. "Alas, that is men for you. They're all sexist fools. The very idea of being with anyone other than Ryoga disturbs me." Yoshimi smiled. "Perhaps not to the point of taking my own life, still relatively close."  
"I see . . ." Nabiki sighed.  
"I got one for ya." Ranma said. "You said your cousin was an apprentice of Martial Arts Bookkeeping?"  
"Oh lord, here we go again!" Nabiki sighed.  
"Get the hurricane supplies, and get ready to fix up the dojo . . ." Akane sighed.  
"He was, and now he is a master. As was my father before he fell out of practice, as am I. My children after me will be apprentices of both the Harume School of Martial Arts Bookkeeping and the Hibiki style of Wondering Martial Arts."  
"You're a martial artist?" Ranma insisted.  
"Yes."  
"You're a master?"  
"I prefer mistress, but yes."  
Ranma looked really excited, Nabiki could see him building up like a tea kettle about to blow steam!  
She did a mental count down. 'Five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . .'  
"I, Ranma Saotome, wish to learn the secrets of your Martial Arts Bookkeeping!" Ranma cried.  
"Uh . . ."  
"No? Fine! In that case I challenge you!" Ranma cried excitedly.  
Yoshimi raised an eyebrow. "Challenge?"  
"He's gotten a lot worse, hasn't he?" Nabiki frowned.  
"Ranma, what about the thirty minutes?" Kasumi sighed.  
"Some things are more important Kasumi!" Ranma cried.  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
Will Yoshimi accept Ranma's challenge? What was up with her story? Will the Moose find a good home? Will Ryoga EVER find the washroom?!?! Find out the answers for about half those questions (or less) NEXT TIME, in the next wonderful chapter: "A Darker Side . . ." 


	3. A Darker Side

Disclaimer: See chapter 1.  
  
Author's Note (just a wee one)  
This is another chapter I dont feel quite comfortable with, but I'm not entirely sure why.  
Well in this chapter we get a startling look into Lotion's soul, her hatred and frustration, her inner self perhaps, and some of her hidden feelings for Ryoga (they aren't romantic feelings, dont worry) this isnt going to be a regular thing, and who knows, maybe you'll find you've got something in common with her somewhat warped outlook on life (please don't kill anyone) however, as funny as her conversation with Ryoga was meant to be I realized it also comes off rather serious, even a little depressing. But it was supposed to be funny! I'm not sure what went wrong, but enjoy it!  
  
Charlotte's Sequel   
Chapter III  
A Darker Side . . .  
  
Yoshimi raised an eyebrow. "Challenge?"  
"He's gotten a lot worse, hasn't he?" Nabiki frowned.  
"Ranma, what about the thirty minutes?" Kasumi sighed.  
"Some things are more important Kasumi!" Ranma cried.  
"I am sorry. Harume style is rather different from normal Martial Arts Bookkeeping, it is much more intense, and much more powerful. You lack the natural ability to learn the skill." Yoshimi said. She turned to Nabiki. "You, on the other hand, glow with the aura of the greatest of mistresses, if you train hard you could be the greatest, second only to my incredible self." Yoshimi said.  
"Martial arts, aren't my thing." Nabiki said simply.  
"But Nabiki, have you never had a moment when you wished you could defend yourself?" Yoshimi blinked.  
"I taught her basic defense." Soun said simply.  
"But she didn't really pay attention." Akane pointed out.  
"Anyway, if you can defend yourself, why did you need Ryoga?" Nabiki asked.  
"Because at the time I was inferior to my cousin, however seeing Ryoga's prowess at that age inspired me, and I strove to fight harder, and now I am the best. You could be the second."  
Nabiki lowered her gaze. While it was true martial arts didn't interest her a great deal, if this form of bookkeeping was what the Harume family owed their incredible wealth to it might be beneficial to learn it.  
"What's the catch?" Nabiki asked.  
"Simple," Yoshimi said, "I can assign an excellent tutor to train you when you go off to college, and you will become a skilled martial arts bookkeeper. In return, you simply allow me to be Ryoga's wife."  
"Not gonna happen." Nabiki said, a little disappointed.  
"Now, now, I promise that he and I will try to seek out some far away land where having multiple spouses is still considered morally acceptable." Yoshimi said so innocently it almost sounded reasonable..  
"I love Ryoga, and I will not let anyone else have him, no matter what!" Nabiki said with determination. "If you've got a truck load of money, you can borrow him, but that's my finest offer!"  
"She's probably got enough money to 'borrow' him for the rest of your life. But what if he decides he doesn't want to marry you anymore?" Ranma asked.  
"Then the assassin has a target!" Nabiki said coldly.  
"Where is Lotion anyway?" Kasumi frowned.  
  
Ryoga hadn't found a sink yet, instead he found himself outside the doors of the dojo. "Well . . . at lest I haven't left town." He decided. He opened the doors and stepped inside. The lights were off, which wasn't unusual at all since no one was inside. He walked in and looked around for a switch, he heard a strange sound, and was on his guard.  
He moved along the wall, and found the switch, he flipped it and looked around, expecting to find some of those thrice cursed black ninjas sneaking around ready to kidnap him and take him to Azusa. It was too much, Yoshimi, Azusa and ninjas! This time there would be some fatalities, he swore!  
But there were no ninjas . . .  
Instead he saw Lotion holding two long cruel looking knives underhanded, one had a lightning bolt sort of blade, the other curved like a miniature scimitar, with lots of triangular cuts or groves in the blade. She actually managed to look pretty scary, as if she'd been about to pounce on him. "What're you doing in the dark?" He asked.  
She was silent for a moment, then she said softly, "I did not wish for anyone to know I was here."  
"Ah. I understand." Ryoga lied. He looked at her, she hadn't changed much since last he'd seen her, which had been a few months ago, when he'd agreed to help her assassinate a tree she had some sort of grudge against.  
"What're you doing in here?"  
"Preparing myself mentally." Lotion sighed.  
"For what?" Ryoga asked.  
"You would be happier not knowing."  
"Assassin stuff?" Ryoga frowned.  
"Yes, exactly that." The Chinese girl nodded. "I wanted to do something cool, like stand in a running river, or meditate under a water fall . . . but since I've met you people, those privileges are lost to me. I never really realized what privileges they were . . ."  
Ryoga shrugged. Many people who got to know Ranma ended up taking a trip to China, and the training grounds of the accursed springs. Hand Lotion had made that trip and was now forever cursed. While Ranma's curse was mild in comparison to those of his friends (he merely stwitched his gender, he maintained his ability to speak, and use his opposable thumbs) Hand Lotion, like Ryoga, was cursed to transform into an animal when she got splashed with cold water, her alter-ego was a llama, nothing so cute as a little black piglet, Ryoga's alter-ego. "Why are you hiding in here? Aren't you hungry?" He asked.  
"No, not really." Lotion shrugged. "And I do not suppose I will become hungry either. It would ruin my state of mind, besides grandpa–er Master Soun said I had to fix something before I was allowed to eat, but I cannot remember what it was . . . did you slaughter the moose?"  
"No, some people came to take it away." Ryoga shrugged. She looked up at him, and he saw some sort of despair in her eyes. Not something he'd expect from an assassin so detached from the world around her that only Shampoo and Cologne could bring her down. "Are you okay?"  
"I am fine." She said simply.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Do you doubt my honesty?"  
"I don't really trust murderers . . ." Ryoga said it before really thinking about it.  
"I am not a murderer!" Lotion shrieked.  
"You kill people for a living, you get paid to end the lives of others, assassin, murderer, when you get down to it, there's no difference." Ryoga said crossly.  
"Stop it! STOP IT!" Lotion cried, holding her hands over her ears and stomping her foot. She then recovered her composure, and waved the knife in her right hand at him, "Do not mock what you do not understand, you could never know what I have been through, the things I have done, do not judge me!"  
"Uh . . . okay . . ." Ryoga raised an eyebrow.   
Lotion snapped her fingers repeatedly, as if trying to remember what to do or say next. It was quite an achievement considering she was still holding her daggers. "Do you want to know why I am an assassin?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, as if trying to make idle conversation while she struggled to remember her actual purpose.  
"No." Ryoga said sternly. He liked Lotion as much as he could, knowing that she had probably killed innocent people in the past, she had never confirmed nor denied whether or not the people she killed were bad. Now she was going to kill someone else who probably didn't deserve to die, he didn't want to know why she enjoyed doing it.  
Besides, idle conversation with this girl could go on for hours.  
"You know, we are not so very different."  
"And how's that?" Ryoga raised an eyebrow.  
"All my life people have treated me badly, I still do not know why. There is something about me that inspires hatred, my chest is shamefully flat for an amazon, I speak far too much, the things I say are foolish and no one cares because my words are meaningless dribble, Elder Cologne usually says something along those lines."  
'You never did take the hint, huh?' Ryoga thought. 'I mean you do talk about nonsense an awful lot.'  
"Have you ever heard the saying 'the grass is greener on the other side'?"  
"Sure." Ryoga shrugged.  
"Well sometimes I look at my reflection and I cannot see what's so wrong with the girl I am looking at! She does not look as if anything is wrong with her, sometimes she even looks happy, so I think maybe on the other side of that mirror, there is a place where people would like me, a place where I would be happy, a place just for me, people just for me to love, who'd love me back, but when I reach out for that place, to try to go there, to reach forhappiness my hand hits the glass, or sometimes the water. There is no grass on the other side, there is no other side, there is only this side, it is childish to think that there might be a place where people *wont* enjoy hurting me, and so I will never be happy. I believe this is called the 'human condition' or something.  
"Every day I wake and I think that yesterday must have been a bad dream. But it never is. It really happened, everything is really happening, there's no way to change it, no way to go back, nothing I can do to stop it, nothing at all! I woke up one day and I realized that I had been cursed. In my quest to become as good as Shampoo, I was cursed, never again would I feel cold water on my bare skin, it is something I wish I had appreciated when it was still in my power to do. Because of my hatred, and my jealousy, I am a freak! You are the same, because of your hatred you too are cursed! I laughed at Shampoo, I pointed my finger and laughed when she turned into a cat. Now I turn into a llama! A llama, I hate llamas! If I had become a cat, maybe I could have disguised myself, and tricked someone into loving me as their pet.  
"Sometimes I wish," she continued, looking into his eyes, her despair had become sorrow now, and her voice trembled, "I could be the sort of person people would like, or that someone could look at me, find out what is wrong and fix it. But it is not like that, life is harder than that, you know? And when I find a place that seems green, when I find people I can love, who maybe, some day might love me too, suddenly, in one form or another, the glass appears, in the real world even! My hand hits the glass when there shouldn't be any glass, I am back at square one, which is unhappiness and I leave a failed attempt at happiness behind, and it becomes harder every time! I do not know what is real any longer, I am like a mime, I am in a glass box, when I reach for something good I am stopped, and people laugh, or are disgusted with me. In the end, my life is just one twisted, bitter writer's unfunny joke."  
"Everyone has problems, Lotion. Nobody is always happy, most people are just like you, never happy, don't assume that you and I are the same in any way, shape, or form." Ryoga tried not to scowl. For some reason her words angered him. "Feeling sorry for yourself won't solve anything, because in the end it's you who chooses to run from this proverbial glass wall. I like you Lotion, but you are the last person in the universe who deserves my, or anyone's pity, have you ever pitied the people you killed? Did you ever go to their families and say 'I did this for this reason, I'm sorry and here's a fruit cake'? Perhaps your line of work is the glass." Ryoga said. "You kill people, are you expecting me to approve of it, and comfort you? Tell you that it's okay, and I understand because you're unhappy?"  
"No! Never!" She cried. "I would be even more unhappy if you ever approved of my actions."  
That set him back a couple paces. "What?"  
"If you ever, ever approved of this, of me, the explanation could only be that I had corrupted you, changed you from the wonderful person you are, into someone more like myself, someone who by all rights does not deserve to live, and I would have to kill you. I do not wish to do that." Lotion said simply. "I tell you these things because I know you feel the same, I assumed nothing. I *know* and maybe you do not see it . . . but I can see it all too clearly. But I can see by your expression that I am speaking unimportant, mindless dribble again. There is no point in preaching to the deaf, I will leave."  
"Where will you go?" Ryoga asked.  
"That is unimportant." Lotion said. "It need not concern you at all."  
Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "You were upset a moment ago, now you're all business, what's going on?"  
"Nothing!" Lotion hissed. She turned towards the door. "Take care of yourself."  
"Where are you going?" Ryoga said more firmly.  
"Somewhere." She shot back, Ryoga was starting to feel like a father trying to keep his daughter from meeting some boy in secret.  
"Are you coming back?" He asked.  
"Perhaps . . . expect me when you see me. Do you wish to come with me?" She asked, she sounded almost hopeful.  
"I don't know. I just got back from a long trip." Ryoga said, scratching his head. "Where are you going?"  
"I did not answer you before, what makes you think you can get an answer from me now? Never mind." She walked over to him, "This is for you," she said, handing him an envelope, "only you, you understand? No one else may see it, not Ranma, not Akane, not even Nabiki. I am very serious." She said.  
"Why are you giving me this?" He blinked.  
She lowered her gaze and said "Because . . . I think that if circumstances were different, we might have been friends."  
"Well . . . for what it's worth, I thought we already were." Ryoga said.  
"No. No we are not. It is simply not possible, friendship is something that I simply cannot achieve, I think it is best if I do not try."  
Ryoga looked at her envelope, "What is this?" He asked.  
"Something just for you to see." She said simply, and then she left without another word.  
Ryoga shook his head. He thought about what she'd said, he realized for a while–a long while–he *had* been a lot like her, downing in self pity over his curse, lusting after a friendship with Akane, but not fully content with the one she was offering him. But Lotion was different somehow, he wondered if maybe he should have let her tell him why she'd become an assassin . . . then he realized that he simply didn't need to know.  
He did not care, not one iota. She'd taken that step, become a killer of the innocent, it was unforgivable, what the blazes made her think that just because her life was so miserable, she had the right to end the lives of others? Nothing *ever* gave her that right.  
'And what did you want to do to Ranma, when you were cursed?' Ryoga asked himself. He smiled wryly.  
He looked at the envelope she'd given him, he wondered if he really wanted to know what was inside.  
'No, there's no need.' He decided. But he did think, sometimes, like when he'd been cursed to become P-Chan, he *had* wished it were just a bad dream, that tomorrow it would be false.   
Would he ever take that unforgivable step himself? Would he . . . could he kill someone who didn't deserve to die . . . did anyone deserve to die? 'Oh sure . . . there are some cases . . . ah what am I saying?'   
He shuddered to think that perhaps he was a little more like Lotion than he felt realized or comfortable with.  
  
Nabiki was headed for her room when Yoshimi stopped her. "What is it?" Nabiki asked.  
"The boy you like, what is his name?" Yoshimi asked.  
"Huh? I like Ryoga." Nabiki said a little impatiently.  
"The other one, the one you believe would be a good husband for me?" Yoshimi almost squeaked the word 'husband'.  
"Oh, Tatewaki Kuno, he lives at the Kuno Estate," Nabiki then proceeded to give Yoshimi the address, phone number, and detailed directions. "Go, meet him, you'll fall in love!"  
"We will see." Yoshimi said.  
Nabiki shrugged and decided to find Ryoga to tell him the good news. As if setting Akari on Kinnosuke hadn't been enough, now she might well have set Yoshimi after Kuno! This was too good to be true, her rival in being stingy, and her most loathed of 'friends' would be distracting her two rivals in 'love', nothing could stand in her way! Sure Ryoga might have problems finding a new girl once she left him, but really that was his problem.  
"One thing," Yoshimi added before she left, "have you decided what college you plan to go to?"  
"I'm not going to go to a college." Nabiki said simply.  
"Why is that?" Yoshimi blinked.  
"I'd just rather be with Ryoga. You know, get married and stuff." Nabiki shrugged. "While we were traveling, I realized that he's the most important person in my life."  
"Would he not wait for you to finish your classes?" Yoshimi asked.  
"Maybe. But who knows? He might run off any marry some billionaire's daughter while I'm away. Besides, he needs me." Nabiki wasn't completely convinced of that, but it was easy enough to say.  
"It's a shame." Yoshimi said. "You were accepted, weren't you?"  
"What?"  
"To Marvard, and High Tech, and the others." Yoshimi said. "So very much work was put into your applications, you know."  
"Are you the reason I was accepted to so many colleges?" Nabiki growled.  
"Oh, so you were accepted!" Yoshimi clapped her hands. "And you're rejecting them?"  
"I've never heard of Marvard." Nabiki said. "And why are you submitting my name to colleges in different countries?"  
"Oh it wasn't me, it was my father and future mother-in-law. They paid your own father, teachers, and friends to help them with your applications."  
"I should have known." Nabiki growled.  
"Well, I must go." Yoshimi smiled. Nabiki nodded, feeling very hopeful, and hateful at the same time. If it was the last thing she ever did, she'd make Kotaro Harume, and whatever her first name was Hibiki pay!  
  
"Is this the residence of Tatewaki Kuno? May I please see him?"  
Kodachi Kuno looked the young woman over and shook her head. "Brother dear, your latest hooker has arrived.  
Will you come to meet her, or shall I send her directly to the torture chamber?"  
"What are you talking about? Bah! I will be there in a moment!"  
"Oh, he's just cleaning the candle wax off the table he used last time." Kodachi chuckled.  
"I beg your pardon?" The girl blinked.  
Kodachi however was shoved aside when her brother, seeing a hot young piece of flesh with no visible boyfriend around, decided to throw on the Kuno family charm.  
"What can I do for a fair maiden such as yourself?" Tatewaki asked.  
"Are you Tatewaki Kuno?" The girl asked.  
"Why . . . yes, yes I am. I see my reputation has proceeded me. I'm afraid I can not give you an autograph, I am not the sort who takes head shots." Tatewaki said, patting his chest as if to show he had no pictures.  
"Some times, brother dear, I think I would like to take a head shot at you." Kodachi mumbled.  
"You mean, "of" me, dear sister." Tatewaki chuckled as if he were correcting a small child.  
"I meant what I said." Kodachi said sweetly, resisting the urge to reach for her throwing club. "And who might you be, young street hooker? From the 'Chaste' School Girls stable, are you?"  
"Actually, my name is Yoshimi Harume, daughter of Kotaro Harume." Yoshimi said with a smile. Kodachi changed her tone to one of respect. Harume was one of the few families even wealthier than the Kuno family! "Wh-why do you seek my brother?" Kodachi asked. 'A wedding! A merger of our clans, the fortune to be unleashed upon the world would be monumental!'  
"Well . . ." Yoshimi said "I have come on behalf of a friend, who is desperately in love with him, who will ruin her life, wedding another man if your brother continues to ignore her affections."  
Tatewaki gasped. "Another woman? Engaged to another man? Why . . . you must be speaking of Akane Tendo!" Tatewaki cried.  
"No." Yoshimi said. "No, I speak of her sister . . . Nabiki Tendo."  
"Nabiki Tendo? But I hate Nabiki Tendo! And she hates me, we've an uncomplicated relationship, and it works." Tatewaki said.  
"Has she ever said that she hates you?"  
"Hmm . . ."  
FLASHBACKS OF EVENTS  
Nabiki Says: You're so pathetic Kuno-Baby!  
Kuno Hears: You're so amazing Kuno-Chan!  
Nabiki Says: (Whacks Kuno on the head) See? You didn't feel any pain, because you haven't got a brain.  
Kuno Hears: (Runs her fingers through his hair) Mmm . . . this is great conditioner!  
Nabiki Says: Are you going to lay there looking all beat up, or are you going to get up, and kick Ranma's butt? No one bet on you, I'm out a lot of money if you lose!  
Kuno Hears: Oh Kuno-Chan, are you okay? Lets go home and you can sleep it off . . . with me.  
Nabiki Says: If that lonely brain cell of yours ever finds it's way out of your testicles, and you start *thinking* for a change, maybe Akane would be attracted to you.  
Kuno Hears: . . . TAKE ME NOW! Ravish my warm, virgin flesh! Ravish me Kuno-Chan! Ravish me all night long, let our love be that of legends!  
END FLASHES  
Tatewaki Kuno scratched his chin. "Self esteem boosting illusions aside . . . I do not believe she has ever used the word 'hate'!" He realized.  
"Because Tatewaki, if I may call you that, she does not hate you, she loves you. She has sought affection from any possible source, because she receives none from you, from our conversation I can more or less figure out how she and my Ryoga got together. Obviously she was attempting suicide in your name, when he stopped her she became attached to him, and Ryoga, not wanting to hurt her, cannot send her away, for fear that she might try to harm herself again."  
"Nabiki Tendo attempted suicide? Over me?" Kuno gasped.  
"I believe it. Just knowing you, brother dear, is enough to drive better men and women to take their own lives." Kodachi scoffed.  
"She loves you, as deeply as I love Ryoga. But I can tell, your hiring of hookers, and chasing after her little sister while you have her right under your nose, makes her feel unattractive, in fact she said to me that she believes you find her too plain for marriage." Yoshimi said.  
"I have never hired a hooker!" Kuno cried. It was true, he never had hired one . . . on purpose. But he considered his other romantic pursuits. His relationship with Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Girl . . . his interest in the dog swinging siren (that's Azusa, she hit him with a dog) . . . never had he attempted to court Nabiki . . . And always she'd supported him, if somewhat reluctantly, selling him pictures of her sister training, and of the pigtailed girl sleeping, pictures that perhaps . . . were her way of saying 'I love you'. Maybe, proud Nabiki Tendo could not bring herself to admit that she had feelings, and instead displayed them by supporting him, even if his pursuit of her sister pained her . . . "How could I have been such a fool?" He shook his head. "How could I not see Nabiki Tendo's love for what it truly is . . . ?"  
"Deception intended to win our family's fortune?" Kodachi raised an eyebrow.  
"Are you still here?" Kuno shouted at his sister  
"I live here." Kodachi said.  
"Be gone, I have much to think of, and I do not need you clouding my judgement with anger!"  
"If you're willing to stop being a sexist, male chauvinistic pig, I believe I have a way for you to make things work with Nabiki before it is too late." Yoshimi noted.  
Kuno wasn't sure if he was willing to give up Akane and the Tree Born Kettle Girl, or even the illusive cute-thing naming Dog Swinging Siren, still even if it meant only adding another possible bride to his harem he needed to let Nabiki Tendo know that he respected her good taste in men.   
Now he could see their long, and expensive friendship in a new light, she'd always loved him, he'd been to callous to notice. She'd been playing hard to get perhaps, and he'd been too careless to see it. He cursed himself! Cursed his very bones! "I will do anything it takes to hold Nabiki Tendo in my arms! I will buy one hundred thousand roses, if such a number of them exists, and I shall take them all to the Tendo home–if I can carry them–and I will date with her, a date to end all dates, a date that will make up for the suicide-causing torment I have put her through before!" Kuno cried.  
"I have something . . . a little different in mind." Yoshimi said. Slyly the young woman went over her plan, Kuno listened intently, Yoshimi presented it in a manner that even he could understand and easily commit to memory.  
Tatewaki bowed before Yoshimi Harume. "My savior, my goddess, I am in your debt!"  
"You seem to forget that you and Nabiki Tendo, despite your freakish friendship truly do hate one another." Kodachi noted.  
"Silence!" Kuno hissed.  
"Oh now, now, I am no goddess." Yoshimi Harume said, blushing.  
"But you are . . . my soul itself may have been saved by your brave actions this night, I am eternally in your debt."  
"If that is the case, the best way to make it up to me," Yoshimi said, "is to follow my plan, and reignite the fires of Nabiki Tendo's love for you. Make her yours, whatever it takes."  
"I shall, Yoshimi Harume, most honored friend, I shall." Kuno said, those old fires of his special brand of determination (the sort that never seems to die) burning in his eyes.  
  
Ryoga yawned and sat down to breakfast across from Akane and Ranma. Everyone else was asleep, and there was no sign of Yoshimi, though Kasumi had offered to let her stay with "cousin Ranko" and her "magical pet panda" in the guest room, the billionaire's daughter had decided that an extravagant hotel would be preferable.  
That, and her spies probably knew that Ranko and the panda were really Ranma and Genma.   
Ryoga wondered if Yoshimi knew about his curse. 'Maybe I can dissuade her from caring for me if I showed her I'm cursed. No . . . she probably knows, someone probably told her.' He decided.  
"Yo Ryoga, you wanna maybe have that duel today?" Ranma asked.  
"Sure." Ryoga shrugged.  
"After breakfast." Kasumi insisted.  
"Natch." Ranma shrugged.  
Ryoga looked at his plate, strangely he didn't feel too hungry.  
"Well look who came back." Cologne said from behind him. "That's good. I'm sure son-in-law wont need your help, but it's good that you're here to provide it."  
"Yeah," Ryoga shrugged, "I can tell, that wall is going to be a pain in the–"  
"I was not talking about the wall, though I agree you two will have a difficult time with it." Colonge said. "I am talking about the situation described in my letter."  
Ryoga raised an eyebrow. "Letter?"  
"We don't read Chinese." Ranma noted.  
Cologne blinked. "Son-in-law, are you so blind? I wrote in Chinese *and* Japanese so you could understand it as well." She said reproachfully.  
"You did?" Kasumi frowned. "We did not think to check it, Mousse said it was for Lotion, we didn't want to pry."  
"You did not read it?" Cologne blinked twice this time. "I can depend on you for nothing it seems." She sighed at Ryoga.  
"Me? I thought you didn't even know I was back!" Ryoga protested.  
"Surely it is your presence that distracted son-in-law from reading my letter."  
"Mousse said it was for Lotion, we guessed it was another taunt from you." Akane said.  
"Why do we care about some crap lousy letter? So some amazon in 'the old country' needs Lotion to ice some dude, who cares?" Ranma scoffed. "Let her go off and do her job, I don't want to think about it, when I do I want to punch her."  
Ryoga began, "Aside from the desire to hit a woman–"  
"It ain't like I wanna hit a girl either!" Ranma protested, "Not as a guy anyway, I'd transform first."  
"–I've got to agree with Ranma on this." Ryoga finished. Everyone stared at him. "I know, it freaks me out too." He said.  
"What I find interesting is that neither of you tried to stop her." Nabiki pointed out.  
"Where is Lo-Chun?" Cologne asked.  
"Ah, she's gone 'somewhere' we're to expect her when we see her." Ryoga shrugged.  
"You mean 'if' you see her." Cologne shook her little head. "Did she take the letter?"  
"No, she ripped it up and threw it aside." Akane said.   
Cologne shook her head. "I should have expected something like this. I blame Mousse."  
"Why?" Akane asked.  
"Because it's so easy to do." Cologne shrugged. "I suppose Lo-Chun is to blame as well. But Mousse should have told you that you were to read it as well."  
"What exactly is going on?"  
"What do you know?" Cologne asked.  
"Lotion said that the letter was to you, from an amazon named Sun Set, and that it was to be forwarded to her." Kasumi said.  
"Really?" Cologne scoffed.  
"She said it was a letter saying that Sun needed an assassin, and so Lo-Chun was off to do her job." Ranma said.  
Cologne shook her head. "We must find Lo-Chun."  
"Why?" Akane asked. "Is something wrong?"  
"Besides the bludgeoning I plan to give her with this stick? No, everything should be fine."  
"What's up?" Ranma demanded. "I ain't skipping breakfast unless there's a good reason."  
Cologne shook her head. "Lo-Chun is a liar, the letter had nothing to do with Sun Set, or rather my version had nothing to do with Sun Set. Which means that our little assassin's two lonely brain waves came together to form a coherent thought."  
"What?" Kasumi asked.  
"It's a short story, but I can tell it slowly. No . . . that's not right . . ." Cologne scratched her head. "Oh yes, it is a long story but I can tell it quickly."  
"Then tell it." Ranma sighed.  
"Well . . . as is our custom, when an amazon is defeated in combat by an outsider, if that outsider is a woman she must track down and kill that person, if the outsider is a man she must make him her husband. I believed Lo-Chun when she told me that Mousse was the first person to beat her, but he isn't an outsider so when she refused to marry him I accepted it, mostly because to argue would mean having to continue our conversation, and believe me, having to talk to the little twit drives me nuts!"  
"Me too." Ranma scowled.  
"Well it turns out our little assassin has lost before. Defeated by someone familiar with our customs, apparently he defeated her with the intention of making her a bride. Well she broke our traditions and told him it was just a myth, and they parted ways. When he found another amazon he asked her if the 'myth' had any truth to it, only to learn that it was true after all, he tracked her down and even got her into a wedding dress. But Han decided to run away instead, he's chased after her and finally found our village, naturally the helpful women there, Sun Set in particular, excited about the idea of wedding the little twit off to someone from a distant land, eagerly told him she was staying with me here, and lo and behold he's on his way to marry her. The letter I sent was, first, to tell her that her wedding would commence, and if she tried to get away from this one, I'd bludgeon her to death with my stick here."  
"You cant do that, that's wrong!" Kasumi cried.  
"I had no intention of actually killing her, it was an empty threat." Cologne shrugged  
"You cant make a girl get married against her will, especially Lo-Chun, she's just a child!"  
"She's older than she looks actually, she's a few months older than Shampoo. Her lack of chest makes her look twelve. Anyway, the part of the note that was for you to understand was to let you know not to let her escape."  
"Guess I screwed up." Ryoga said.  
"What?" Akane cried. "Ignore her Ryoga, it wasn't your fault." she scoffed.  
"Well last night she told me she was leaving, I even watched her go and I didn't bother trying to stop her." He said.  
"Why not?" Cologne demanded, hitting him on the head.  
"What do you think? Exactly what you said, having to talk to her would drive me nuts!" Ryoga lied. Actually forcing her to stay never occurred to him. He'd simply been content to let her do her thing.  
"Well did she say anything? Anything at all before leaving? Where she was going or when she'd leave the country?" Cologne asked.  
"No, she just said she was going 'somewhere' and that she might return, but she didn't seem all too sure about whether or not she'd actually bother. When she left she was dressed differently, a black tench coat, but I didn't see any problems. She did ask if I wanted to come with her." Ryoga noted.  
Cologne shook her head. "Another chance to get rid of her, gone! Well at least now the entire village knows she's claimed, next time she dares to show her face back home they'll tie her to that tree she likes so much and wait for her fiancee to show up."  
"She hates that tree." Ryoga corrected.  
"I know. Do you think she's stupid enough to go back to the village to try and destroy it?" Cologne asked.  
"How should I know?" Ryoga shrugged.  
"Well . . . it's a shame. I almost got rid of her." Cologne sided. "I cannot believe you let her escape, son-in-law!  
The destroyed wall might have been an acceptable excuse, if there had been some sort of struggle, involving the deaths of Ryoga, and Akane, and Kasumi I would understand, but you just let her go, the never of you people, you do not even try to lie to me! Just for that, you're invited to the wedding." Cologne hopped of.  
  
"The nerve of that woman!" Akane growled. "Blaming us because Lotion doesn't want to get married to some old jerk!"  
"Yeah, no kidding." Ryoga scoffed.  
"As if we'd attend the assassin's wedding!" Ranma scowled.  
"Does it bother anyone else that Lotion didn't seem nervous, or uninterested in the idea of a wedding?" Kasumi asked. "She seemed . . . angry."  
"Big deal." Ranma scoffed.  
"He defeated her two times. Maybe she's humiliated." Akane said.  
"Maybe Cologne lied." Ryoga whispered.  
"Maybe, but who cares?" Ranma scoffed. "A strong gust of wind can defeat Lotion!"  
"I care. I care a great deal." Nabiki said with a wicked grin. "I see opportunity here. Horny old man seeking teenage amazon wife! And with Nabiki Tendo to play cupid, how can he fail?"  
"Well wont you be at college?" Akane asked.  
"Uh . . . sure." Nabiki chuckled.  
"Now, now Nabiki, it's obvious that your head is filthy with lies, it's time for you to confess, and tell Akane what you told me!" Kasumi cried. "Tell her why you're not going to college!"  
"I'm gonna kill you Kasumi!" Nabiki yelped, because suddenly Soun managed to crawl out of the wood work and stand right behind Nabiki.   
He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and said, "Tell me that what Kasumi just said isn't true . . ."  
"Uh . . . gee daddy . . . um . . . it's all Ryoga's fault!" Nabiki cried, Ryoga's jaw dropped.  
"What? This is the first I've heard of it!" He protested.  
"Nonsense! Now whose head is filthy with lies? You've corrupted my little girl with your college-less lifestyle and now you mut die!" Soun cried, he armed himself with a mallet from out of thin air, he lunged forward but Ranma and Akane held him back.  
"wait, remember the wall!" Ranma cried.  
Soun calmed down enough to look at the wall, remeber t was demolished and cry.  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
Will Lo-Chun ever return? Will the Koruda School of Combat ever attack the Tendo Training Hall? Will Nabiki make up a good enough excuse about not going to college to keep Soun from ripping Ryoga to shreds? If you haven't figured it out yet, the one she's been using so far (loving Ryoga too much) is of course a lie, her real reason will shock you all! Well anyway, if any of these things were to happen, they'd happen in PART IV: "A Darker Story . . ." 


	4. A Darker Story

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers.  
  
Charlotte's Sequel  
Chapter IV  
A Darker Story ...  
  
Nabiki Tendo looked around the room at the expectant faces, none more expectant than her father. 'I don't want to give him a heart attack . . . but he sure is asking for it.' she thought.  
There was no easy way to tell them what she had to say, they wouldn't understand. They certainly wouldn't approve . . .  
"Well . . . uh . . ." she trailed off, unsure of herself. Should she tell the truth, or lie, or what? They wanted her to lie, they probably expected it she was sure. So surely if she told the truth now, and made them think it was a lie, then told a good lie and made them think it was the truth the weight would be off her shoulders, she'd have confessed without the dire consequences, and she'd still have her way. "Daddy . . . Kasumi . . . Akane . . ." She gulped. "Uh . . . I'm not going to college. There's no point to it. I've been offered a job in the United States, it requires no college education." She decided not to add that it didn't really require *any* education, to keep people from jumping to the, more likely than not, correct conclusions. "It's really high paying, and it's something I can very easily do."  
"You've joined organized crime?" Kasumi gasped. "Nabiki! I knew you were a good runner . . . and good with numbers, and money . . . and fairly good with laundry . . . but running numbers and money laundry? I never suspected!"  
"Joined? Kasumi, she's probably started her own crime family! You have, haven't you?" Akane accused.  
"It's got nothing to do with crime." Nabiki scoffed. "Besides, the only forms of organized crime I'm interested in are full of really intelligent guys, y'know, university type guys. That I'm not going to college is really a good sign."  
"So it is completely legal?" Soun demanded.  
"Well I think so." Nabiki said with unintentional honestly.  
"Then you have my full support!" Soun cried.  
"Really?" Nabiki blinked. "But you don't even know what this job is!"  
"I think he's working under the impression that he'll be much happier not knowing." Kasumi said.  
"Well I ain't!" Ranma said. "I want to know, what is this high paying job that requires no college education? What could have our Nabiki so sure of her future that she'd give up esteemed placed like Marvard and Lo Tech? How can I get in on this?"  
Nabiki scoffed. "That's not your concern Ranma."  
"Yeah, I don't *need* to know." Ranma agreed. "I mean so long as yer okay I really don't care anyway. Now that I think of it, even if you weren't okay, I probably wouldn't care. It's not like you're whorin' yerself on the streets." He chuckled.  
Everyone laughed.  
Except Nabiki.  
"Don't worry, if I ever did that I'd make sure to recommend you to my pimp, *Ranko*! You'd be a 'smashed' hit." Nabiki hissed.  
Ranma stopped laughing, everyone else just laughed harder.  
  
Ushio Koruda observed his finest vassals. Five masters of his arts, one of them his own decedent, the future of the Koruda School of Combat. He shuddered, they were dressed in crimson with helmets and light armor.  
"We look so pathetic." His young apprentice scoffed.  
"Hey, you got your pay check, now shut up and do as you're told!" Ushio cried. He'd had enough of his apprentice's complaints. "These suits will help cushion the blows you'll take, and believe me you'll take quite a few. Beware, for Soun Tendo is a resourceful man, crafty and bold, strong and brave! He is my worthy adversary."  
"Whatever. Everything is ready, we can go at any time. Tendo and his sons don't stand a chance, our intelligence shows that there are usually only two real fighters in the place, Tendo's youngest girl and her fiancee. But anywhere between one and a dozen more can show up at any time, including Tendo's second daughter's fiancee, whom our intelligence reports is in fact there at this time. We should go with at least twice this number." Ie briefed the team and Ushio.  
"Do you doubt your ability to win?" Ushio asked.  
"Not at all."  
"Then it should not be a problem. There are five fighters at the Tendo Training hall at this time. There are five of you. There is a sixth, in the shadows. But he will not emerge unless he is needed . . . I think, I was sort of uh . . . well intoxicated when I briefed him . . . actually, you may want to wear bullet proof vests, I think I called a hit out on one of you . . . cant remember whom."  
"Sound's fun."  
"Then go to it." Ushio said sternly. "Let our enemies know the price they pay for waging war on the Koruda School of Combat!!"  
"Uh . . . aren't we technically waging war on them?" His apprentice-er *instructor* Tomoko Ie questioned.  
Ushio rubbed his forehead. "You just . . . don't get it."  
"Get what?"  
"Go. Just got." He sighed.  
  
Yoshimi stretched, looked around and yawned. Morning already? She'd slept like a baby. Everything was going to plan, except for Nabiki Tendo's decision not to attend college. Yoshimi did not doubt that she could convince Tendo. She'd saved her best card, and the one she'd planned to play the whole time, for today.  
No matter what . . . when Nabiki went to *this* college . . . whether that Kuno boy followed her plan or not--though it seemed he would, which was good--Ryoga would be the last thing on Nabiki's mind.  
A thrice cursed shame really, Yoshimi thought it would make an epic story to tell the children she and Ryoga would someday have . . . saving their daddy from the ravages of an evil Chinese whore goddess, who sucked life out of men like a succubus, with a voice like a siren, and . . . well perhaps her imagination was overacting again. She had to be careful about that . . .  
"No poor, middle class, greedy thingy will take my Ryoga away from me! For I, Harume Yoshimi, firstborn daughter of Harume Kotaro, age seventeen and three quarters do not care how many goddesses have possessed her!" Yoshimi declared to no one in particular. "Ryoga shall be mine! Let none stand in the way of this! If she will not be dissuaded, she must die!"  
It was no idle threat, Yoshimi would not lose this contest. If she were Ryoga's second choice, it would not bother her so long as his first choice ceased breathing. And if she were his third, or fifth? Well she had lots of money. Money to hire assassins. Good ones, not the skinny girl from the Tendo home. Was that girl even a real assassin? Yoshimi doubted it.  
Assassins who could actually kill their targets. Those were the assassins young Yoshimi desired.  
Yoshimi felt a tremor go through her spine. Everything in her life was right. Her relationship with her father was improving--he was trying to kill her less often, and he'd stopped shouting "Oh lord, give me the strength to stop this hell-spawn abomination brought forth by mine own loins! Have mercy on my soul!!" when he did it--and she'd finally found her love, Ryoga! If there was a single cloud raining on he parade, it was that Ryoga seemed to be attached to Nabiki Tendo.  
But then, love was a battlefield, and as with any war Yoshimi simply needed to figure out what weapon to use to effectively fight her opponent.  
She had lots of ideas, this would be fun! Of course . . . there was a little something she had to do before seeing her beloved Ryoga today.  
  
Nabiki's heart soared. She'd gotten out of it! Her family didn't care what she was doing, it was great!  
Of course the fact that father probably couldn't pay for college anyway may have had a hand in the whole event. Nabiki cracked her knuckles. She'd been so worried about coming home, she should have just come back a long time ago!  
"Hey, Nabiki . . ." Ryoga hailed her as she tried to sneak to her room.  
"Uh . . . hey darling . . . I'm just going upstairs . . . do you want to come?"  
"Not really. Uh . . . Nabiki, I was just curious, what's this job you've got? While we were traveling around we kept looking at colleges, and stuff, but we never did run into anyone who would have offered you a job . . . not a high paying one anyway."  
"You're right. *We* didn't. But you've got to understand, Ryo-dear, I've got a life that continues when you're not in the immediate area. We weren't together twenty four seven."  
"I know"  
"In fact, I'm going to be getting back to that life you know nothing about, but I'll come back to spend some time with you later, okay honey? Bye!" To ensure that he wouldn't question her further, she tossed a glass of cold water at him and dashed upstairs.  
'Sorry,' she thought 'you're the one person I *still* cant tell . . . not yet. Maybe throwing cold water at you was a little mean . . . too late to take it back. I don't usually question myself . . . must be your fault. I should have used a bucket. That'll learn you to make me wonder about things I should already know! I know what I'm going to do isn't wrong! Why am I talking to myself?'  
Her thoughts continued on for a long while, before she realized that she should be doing something. She got right to work on a very important project. It involved picking up a phone and making a long distance call.  
  
Ryoga . . . or rather, P-Chan walked about the Tendo halls, oinking thoughtfully to himself, wondering where he was exactly. It had been a while since he'd made Nabiki mad enough to douse him with cold water, and thus transform him into . . . well, what he was now.  
And of all the times for it, now was the time that five anime-convention rejects showed up, entering through the shattered wall.  
"Soun Tendo and pet," Their leader snapped at Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome (A panda) who we're trying to play a simple game of Chinese Checkers "I am Anzu Koruda of the Koruda School of Combat, my master warriors and I have come to face you and your five finest students in mortal combat!"  
"Hey wait a second chief, I'm not fighting to the death!" One of the Koruda troops said. "Yer old man *finally* gave me my paycheck, I want to live long enough to spend it without having to worry about prison."  
"But Tomoko, you've got a mask on."  
"The hecks that supposed to mean? Don't be stupid Anzu, don't you know cops can tell who killed who with what and how by blood spatter alone?"  
"Tomoko, Anzu, call each other by your code names!" A third trooper cried.  
"Oh right! Sorry. Anyway, Convoy Butterfly," the one known as Tomoko said, "you do know that "Mortal Combat" means combat to the death?"  
"Really? Snaps! Okay Slammin' Flower Child, you declare the challenge!" Anzu-er Convoy Butterfly scoffed.  
"Gladly! I Tomoko Ie-uh Slammin' Flower Child, of the Koruda School–"  
"Yes, yes, I know." Soun waved her words away like a foul odor. "Go wait in the dojo, I'll send someone to see you as soon as this game is over."  
"I'll take them on, dad!" Akane offered.  
"Okay, fine." Soun said, annoyed. "Just go."  
"I got yer back, Akane!" Ranma said.  
"I can handle them myself, Ranma!" Akane scowled. Then as an afterthought she added, "I wonder where Ryoga went . . ." P-Chan jumped up and down trying to get her attention.  
"I thought you said you could handle it by yerself." Ranma sneered. Akane grabbed the jumping piglet–Ryoga–and threw him at Ranma's head, both boy and baby pig lay unconscious on the ground.  
"There are five of us . . . I was . . . I dunno, sort of hoping for a tournament style sort of thing . . ." Anzu said.  
"I was hoping for a melee, something we can get finished with quickly. The mall is calling my name Tomoko . . . Tomoko . . . come shop . . . come shop . . ." Tomoko sighed.  
"I can take you all!" Akane cried.  
"You realize if we win, we get to burn down your dojo?" Anzu pointed out.  
"What!?" Soun yelped. "Ranma! Where's Ranma? Where are you son!? Save our dojo!"  
"Convoy! I though we were burning the place down anyway?" Tomoko complained.  
"Yeah, well . . . not much incentive for them to fight if they know we win either way, Flower Child."  
"Oh right, gotcha chief."  
"Now see here, if we are triumphant, shouldn't we get to burn *your* dojo to the ground?" Nodoka asked, crawling out of the wood work.  
"Yes! Yes! Burn it down! We want to burn your dojo down!" Soun agreed, leaping behind Nodoka for protection.  
"Come off it!" Anzu scoffed.  
"Off what?" Akane blinked.  
"You cant even *find* our school, we heard from an elementary school janitor you went prowling for it and tried to pick a fight with some grade threes!"  
"We'll we'd have kicked their butts if we weren't drunk off our own!" Soun cried, shaking his fist at Anzu from behind Nodoka who rolled her eyes impatiently.  
'I remember that . . .' Ryoga thought as he came out of his daze. 'Boy was that embarrassing . . .'  
"I'm afraid the fact is that father does not really have five prize students to combat you." Kasumi piped up. "There's just Akane you see, the rest sort of do their own thing . . . Ranma does several other people's things . . . but really, this is not a school of Martial arts . . . if it is, it's a pretty poor one, I haven't seen father leading a class in a long time . . ."  
"Well . . . okay . . . if one is all you've got . . . all right. You, hold her down, I'll jump up and down on her, you two break her legs, and you stand by to snap her neck in mercy in the unlikely event that we start to feel bad for her." Anzu shrugged.  
"No one is holding me down!" Akane cried, taking up a fighting stance.  
"Oh right, how rude of me. We'll tie you down, then Tomoko and I can *both* jump on you." Anzu shrugged.  
"Give us some time to round up some fighters!" Soun pleaded.  
"Uh . . . sorry, no. This was actually supposed to be sort of a surprise attack . . . I just didn't feel comfortable with the idea of slaughtering a defenseless bystander on accident." Anzu said. "I don't see a problem, there's that unconscious boy there, the big-mouth girl, then you and your . . . eh . . . sword toting lady friend, and then . . . well I hear Pandas are pretty vicious. That makes five, fair and square. Throw the pig in if you want, we don't care."  
'Wow . . . she's really bad at this whole super villain thing.' Ryoga thought.  
"The pig . . . of course . . ." Kasumi said thoughtfully. Ryoga saw an evil gleam in Kasumi's eyes. One that he normally saw in Nabiki's, and had only been in Kasumi's when she'd tried to imitate her sister in an attempt to raise money to repair the wall of the house the last time it was knocked down . . .   
'Oh crap.'  
Kasumi bowed to the Koruda fighters, "I am the great and powerful Kasumi, the magician of fate! Behold, my powers will transform this useless worm of a man lying on the floor, into a luscious beauty, with flaming red locks and legs that go on for miles!"  
The three male members of the enemy team "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed. Kasumi produced a bucket of cold water, and splashed Ranma with it.  
"AIE! I'm up! I'm up!" Ranko cried.  
The Koruda fighters clapped enthusiastically, one of them whistled. They tossed Kasumi some coins and cheered.  
Kasumi took a bow. "Now, with my super magical skills, I shall turn this panda into a balding man of his mid forties, for your enjoyment."  
None of the Koruda fighters seemed too enthusiastic about that, but when Kasumi did it they clapped anyway, how could they not? It must have been an impressive sight, Ryoga realized.  
"Thank you, thank you . . . Now, this pig shall become a strong young man, ready to combat your evil force! Behold my unrivaled power!" Kasumi cried, splashing Ryoga.  
She'd forgotten that unlike Genma Saotome who somehow just managed to be clothed whenever eyes were on him, once he was done transforming Ryoga was quite naked.  
Now Tomoko and Anzu cheered and threw coins and bills at Kazumi, the three guys averted their gaze. Ryoga was completely speechless.  
"Er . . . sorry about that." Kasumi whispered, quickly handing him her apron. "Er . . . well he'll be ready to combat your evil as soon as he's dressed. She shoved him into the hallway where Nabiki's cold water had transformed him and he quickly got dressed.   
"Aww . . ." Tomoko sighed.  
Kasumi shook her head scoldingly. "Really Ryoga, can't you find some way to keep more than just that bandanna on you when you transform? As handy as it might be if you ever join a street gang, is it not rather embarrassing?"  
"Yeh-yeh-Yes!" Ryoga stammered.  
"Why couldnt the chick have been nude?" One of the guys complained. "The girls got the better show out of this."  
"They paid me more." Kasumi noted.  
"Aww . . ."  
"Hey!" Akane cried, "Are we forgetting the reason they're here, and we're missing precious Anime viewing time?" She demanded, jerking her finger at the TV. "We're supposed to be fighting, not putting on magic acts!"  
"Come now Akane, if I'd simply 'cast my spells' would they have paid us for it?"  
"I would have." Anzu noted, though she had a black visor over her eyes, Ryoga could just sense that her eyes were glued to him. He didn't like it.  
"She's right though, it was the performance, and not the magic that parted me from my yen." One of the guys said.  
"Y'know, all the mention of money makes me wonder why Nabiki hasn't come down here foaming at the mouth yet . . ." Ryoga observed.  
"You've got a rabid attack dog whose command word is 'money' too? Dad told me I was the only person in the world that crazy!" Anzu cried, Ryoga scratched his head and Kasumi just sighed.  
"Hey!" Akane cried. "Stop it! You're all losing sight of the main deal here!"  
"We are? Oh right, our brutal beating and murder of you and your beliefs, right. Very well! Let the combat begin!"  
  
Kinnosuke shrugged. "She just showed up one day, threw her arms around me, said that she loved me, and then asked me for my name. Actually she went through a couple friends I had over before she got to me, and seemed to be satisfied. I didn't even get her name, I still haven't bothered to ask. She's a great maid though."  
Yoshimi nodded. So that was Akari, and the end result of the whore goddess's power . . . very interesting. "I understand that your real love interest is Nabiki Tendo."  
"What? Who told you that?" Kinnosuke scoffed.  
"Is it not true?" Yoshimi raised an eyebrow.  
"Well I guess she was interested in me. I mean who wouldn't be? Women drop to my feet like moths to the fire of my charm, obviously." Kinnosuke said, and pointed to Akari who was busy washing his dishes as if to prove his point and shrugged. "I'm not interested in her though, she used to be untouchable, unreachable but then she went and got engaged to that guy . . . cant remember his name . . . ruined my life, the woman stealing son of a–er I mean good for him, he must be pretty desperate to take that girl for a bride."  
"Well how would you feel if I told you that I knew a way you could have Nabiki?"  
"I'd say I wasn't interested. But out of curiosity I'd ask for detailed instructions." Kinnosuke seemed to be reigning king in his mind, but Yoshimi decided to let it go.  
She smiled, and chuckled as she told him the plan "It is coming together nicely." Kinnosuke scratched his head but apparently decided not to ask her what was so funny.  
"So my only real objective here is to–"  
"Yes exactly. You can take that maid with you if you want . . ."  
"I was sort of planning on going to–"  
"No, no good. This is far more important, and believe me this place will be better."  
"But my–"  
"No, your lucky color is not green."  
"Can–"  
"Yes, your puppet can come too."  
"Do I need to–"  
"No, not at all."  
"And–"  
"Unnecessary."  
"Well . . . I guess we have an understanding?" Kinnosuke said.  
"I should hope so! Technically if you spill my plans to Nabiki or Ryoga the contract you sign gives me the right to have you executed."  
"I didn't sign any–"  
"Oh yeah! Here you go." Yoshimi said, handing him a contract.  
"Oh! Uh . . . well okay." Kinnosuke signed.  
"Excellent . . ." Yoshimi chuckled.  
  
"No . . . I don't think so." Nabiki said.  
"Then I'm on my way." The voice on the phone said.  
There was a crash from downstairs . . . various shouts, the distinct sound of father weeping into Nodoka's dress and lamenting about his poor house.  
"Hurry!" Nabiki whispered, "I don't know if I can survive!"  
"Life at home is *that* bad?"  
"No, really, my survival is in question here." She held the phone so that explosions could be heard, the screaming and so forth.  
Sounds from downstairs:  
"Oh my!" (BAM!)  
"Oh, dear lord No!" (BOOM!)  
"Holy lord I'm going to be sick!" (SOCK!)  
"Why!? WHY!?" (BASH!)  
"That's awful!" (EXPLOSION)   
"Holy mother of--I'm going to throw up!" (VOMIT)   
"Oh no! Not on my shirt!" (SLASH)  
"Not on the carpet!" (THUNK)  
"My arm! I cant find my arm!" (ARM MISSING!)  
"Oh wait, here it is ... I slap!" (SLAPPY TIME!)  
"Look out! They've got a squirrel!" (SQUIRREL!)  
Nabiki put her ear to the phone, her long distance conversation partner said simply "I'll be right there."  
  
Ryoga ducked to avoid the flying squirrel, he glared at Ranko, "Where did you get that!?"  
"Uh . . . the internet!" Ranko lied.  
"Tendo Fists of Anger!" Akane cried, sending Tomoko flying into another wall, and right through it.  
"That's not even a real move!" The battered Koruda Fighter snapped as she emerged from the rubble.  
"I made it up!" Akane cried.  
"Ya made up the name, that was just a sucker punch!"  
"Shut up Ranma!"  
Kasumi shook her head and set the table for herself and Nodoka, the only two not currently fighting (though Soun and Genma had taken a break to vomit, and clean their shirts respectively) she poured tea, not at all worried that Ranma might lose.  
After all . . . he was Ranma. And he had Ryoga with him.  
"Take this! My hatred and power in one fell attack!" Ranko lunged, she seemed to glow red with the awesome power of her ki, she struck like a bolt of lightning!  
"ACK! Ranma you hit ME!" Ryoga cried.  
"I know--er I mean sorry!"  
"Boys." Kasumi sighed, shaking her head again.  
"My poor son . . . if only there were something I could do to help him . . . alas, he would be no man if--"  
"Give it a rest already, we're all tired of hearing that." Kasumi scoffed. "You know that Ranma and Ranko are the same person, and you know that Ranma, for all his shortcomings, and there are a lot of them, is as much a man as his father, and incidentally as much a woman as you, so technically he's the perfect blend and the perfect individual. If anything you don't have to worry about him being disrespectful towards women."  
"Oh-ho . . . I disagree, he's an unnatural blend, and a warped individual, and he's just as disrespectful to women as he is to men which on a case to case basis can be pretty darn rude, but I love him anyway, he's my son . . . daughter . . . who cares?"  
"I guess I'll drink to that." Genma said, shirtless. It was a sight that made Kasumi shudder. She liked older guys, but Genma was the least appealing man in the universe.  
"No, you'll get back to the fighting." Nodoka said, waving her katana at him. It slipped out of her hands and it's hilt hit Akane in the back of the head. "Oops!"  
"I've been shot!" Akane cried, and fell over on her face.  
"Oh dear . . ." Nodoka said.  
"I never suspected that a head blow would ever affect our dear Akane!" Nabiki gasped, Kasumi looked up at her sister, standing over her like some evil force of forceful evil.  
"Nabiki, won't you sit down?"  
"Yeah, sure. But first, Kasumi . . ." she looked around the room, at Tomoko checking Akane's pulse, Anzu and some guy pounding Ryoga into the ground as the squirrel chewed up Ranko's face, and the other two Koruda students lay unconscious, they might have been taken for dead if not for the fact that it had been Ranko accidentally flashing them when the squirrel had leapt at her and clawed her shirt open that resulted in their current swoon, "What the heck is going on here?" Nabiki demanded.  
"Uh . . . well these five invaders--"  
"Power Ranger Rejects." Nabiki scoffed.  
"That's it! Power Rangers! I knew we were copying something!" One of the women cried.  
"Well anyway they're from the Kordua School of Combat," Kasumi began.  
Nabiki had to interrupt her to remark "So it *does* exist!"  
"Yes. they've come to fight us, and then, win or lose, they plan to burn down the dojo." Kasumi said.  
"Is demolishing our home part of the battle plan?" Nabiki scoffed.  
"Well . . . it seems to be." Kasumi frowned.  
"Ryoga!" Nabiki snapped, ignoring her older sister now, "Don't let her hit you like that! Kick her in the face, g'on, chivalry is dead! I wont think you any less of a man if you beat the stuffing out of that woman, I'll think you less of a man if she continues to kick your butt like that!"  
Kasumi shook her head. She returned to her tea.  
Just then there was a knock on the door, Kasumi gratefully got up and answered it.  
"Hello! I am Yoshimi Harume, age . . . sorry, we've done this before." Yoshimi said brightly.  
"Why hello Yoshimi," Kasumi said with a smile that defied the fact that there was a crazed brawl going on in her livingroom. "Wont you come in? I'm afraid the house is in a bit of a mess, but really this is how things normally are around here, as you court Ryoga, you might as well get used to it, seeing as he spends so much time here."  
"Thank you . . . I think." Yoshimi smiled in the same manner as Kasumi. She came into the livingroom and gasped.  
"AHHH! Let go of me, I have to run! I'll pay you! I'll do anything!" He screamed first at his opponents, then at Yoshimi, "Get back spawn of Satan!"  
"Oh Ryoga!" Yoshimi gasped. "My darling! How can they do this? Are you not the most powerful fighter in the world?"  
"No, that's Ranma! Marry him! Marry him!" Ryoga cried.  
"No. Fear not my love, for I shall love you even after you've been brutally beaten. I shall nurse you back to health on my yacht, and when you've got your sea legs we can be married at sea, riding on a blue whale as the minister, a walrus, gives the ceremony!"  
Ryoga seemed to consider this, then he went nuts, he freed himself from the clutches of the Koruda Fighter holding him, grabbed him and threw him at Anzu, grabbed the two unconscious guys and using them as clubs proceeded to beat the stuffing out of the three other K-Fighters.  
"Wow . . ." Nabiki said in surprise.  
"It is his love for me that inspires this burning desire to surmount any mountain, and surpass any odds." Yoshimi beamed.  
"Right . . ." Nabiki glared. Kasumi shuddered, she sensed something bad about to happen.  
She was right.  
Nabiki calmly walked up to a screaming Ranko, with a "Let me help you," she peeled the squirrel from Ranko's face, and then feigning injury "Ahh! It bit me!" she threw it at Yoshimi.  
It would have connected if Kasumi hadn't caught it. "Oh you poor thing! Treated as a weapon! Off you go now, g'bye!" The squirrel ran like mad for the busted wall, and up a tree to safety.  
"I didn't know there were any squirrels around here!" Yoshimi squeaked. "I am terribly afraid of squirrels!"  
"You've made a powerful enemy today, Kasumi." Nabiki growled.  
"Oh not at all, I am thankful to her for saving me from the squirrel, that she did not snap it's neck is easily forgivable." Yoshimi smiled.  
Nabiki shook her head, Kasumi did the same. "Our wonderful life of doom." She sighed.  
  
Ryoga's blood lust subsided, he looked around, Ranma's face was . . . well, surprisingly unscathed. Only Ranma could be so lucky. Akane was recovering, Genma had gotten a new shirt and Soun had finished cleaning up his tossed lunch.  
Everything had returned to a state of normality.  
Except that Yoshimi was there.  
Ryoga stood up and scowled. "Listen Yoshimi, I'm getting tired of this, and it's only the second day, I don't–"  
"Oh I know my love! I cannot stand it either, but in just a few more months we'll be husband and wife!"  
"That's not what I'm–"  
"And assuming she still has an interest then, we'll find some nice country where you can settle down with me and Nabiki." Yoshimi thought for a moment. "Her too if you want." She pointed at Kasumi, who choked on her tea.  
"Now just a minute, you cant just declare my sister part of the package!" Nabiki protested.  
"Well I meant with her consent of course." Yoshimi said.  
"Yoshimi, I'm really . . . really not interested in having multiple spouses, or multiple girlfriends for that matter, do I look like Ranma to you?"  
"Hey!" Ranko protested.  
"Well . . . if you had a pony tail . . ." Yoshimi said.  
"Yeah, I sort of see the resemblance." Akane said.  
"His muscles are thicker, but other than that he's a dead match for Ranma." Soun shrugged.  
"Hey! That's not the point!" Ryoga cried.  
"What do you think, auntie?" Kasumi asked.  
"They told me the other one died at birth." Nodoka said simply, sipping her tea.  
Everyone laughed, even Ryoga.  
"What's so funny? I'm serious." Nodoka said.  
No one laughed. Everyone looked at Ranma and Ryoga curiously, Akane emptied a kettle of hot water on Ranko's head, and the two boys were made to stand side by side so a closer examination could be conducted . . .  
"They do argue a lot . . . like brothers." Genma said.  
"They look the same." Akane pointed out.  
"They're the same age." Kasumi pointed out.  
"Ryoga fell for it when Ranma pretended to be his sister. Maybe they sensed some sort of sibling's bond or . . . something." Akane reminded everyone.  
"No, he fell for it because he's an idiot." Ranma scoffed.  
"I am not, and I did not! I knew it was him the whole time!" Ryoga cried.  
"Yeah right." Nabiki scoffed. "Actually . . . you've got the same eyes."  
"We do not!" Ryoga cried.  
"This ain't funny!" Ranma agreed.  
"And you've both become great martial artists, in spite of the genes your working with." Yoshimi pointed out.  
"And your favorite colors are both blue." Soun cried.  
"Ah! Well that's just undisputable evidence, isn't it?" Ryoga scoffed sarcastically, "that *proves* Ranma is my brother!"  
"It does? Oh brother! Boohoohoohoo! I've always wanted a brother!" Ranma wept, hugging Ryoga. "Wait . . . is my favorite color blue? You've gone and confused me!"  
Nodoka chuckled cruelly. "I'm sorry, I was just joking, Ranma is an only child . . . well besides his sister . . . we sold her into slavery . . . now stop hugging each other, it isn't very manly at all."  
Ryoga peeled Ranma off himself. He could no longer remember what they'd been talking about, or that he'd been about to stand up to Yoshimi. All he could focus on was how happy he was that Ranma wasn't his brother, and by extension Genma wasn't his father. He wouldn't have minded Nodoka being his mother, since maybe then she'd stop trying to give him her phone number.  
'And I thought the worse thing to happen to me was to become cursed to transform into a piglet!' Ryoga thought to himself, 'Heck, overall my life is just screwed up. I'm going to go to Ukyo's place and eat Okonomiyaki until I forget it all. Maybe I'll get fat and no one will want to marry me . . . I hope this isnt my mid-life crisis I'm having . . .'  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
Tune in next time for episode five Special Secrets! But what are the special secrets to be revealed?  
Who was the sixth K-Fighter, waiting in the shadows? (FunFact: It's not the Moose!) What is this potentially diabolical plot Yoshimi is concocting? Who was Nabiki's mysterious overseas contact? What is this job Nabiki is about to take? Will Ryoga be happy about it? Will Nabiki be going to college at all? Where will she go? What will happen next? Will Ryoga get fat?!? The answers to some of that and more in chapter FIVE! 


	5. Special Secrets

Charlotte's Sequel  
Part V  
Special Secrets . . .  
  
He sat at the bar, occasionally he twisted his chair back, or forth. His hair was short, blue-black, and unkept, his eyes were brown, like the trench coat he wore. On the floor next to his bar stool, was a small green school bag.  
He sat holding a mug of logger. He had not yet put his lips to it, the bar tender was beginning to wonder if he should ask the man to leave. If not for the childish twisting of the bar stool, the bar tender might have been tempted to poke the man with a stick to see if he was still alive.  
And then without warning or provocation the man began to speak in a soft voice, rambling on like a drunk, though he had not yet touched his drink.  
"Life goes on, it never stops. Mankind may end, but the world continues. When the world ends, life continues elsewhere. Be it single celled organisms or a so-called 'advanced' culture, life goes on. Do I believe in aliens? Not in the way you suspect. Slime creatures from outer space wishing to conquer our world and fertilize our women with their alien seed. That is both myth and fact, fact because there *are* other life forms, and myth because only humans are vain enough to believe their women important enough for alien breeding. I do not believe in the media's alien. I do believe in life. Here, on other worlds, in other realities, life cannot be stopped, it cannot be silenced. You can kill a so-called individual, and they think that life is over. It isn't. It continues, and they only prove that they were selfish enough, foolish enough to believe that their life meant anything. Even naive enough to believe that their life belonged to them, that it was theirs, their treasure and their bane.   
"People think of ways to pass the time from birth to death, it mostly involves prolonging their own lives out of curiosity of the future, or fear of the unknown. Fighting for your beliefs is a joke, leaving your children a better tomorrow? A joke. If you don't like today, don't have babies. Don't kid yourself, the species will live on, and your genes, morals and beliefs are not important enough to be passed on anyway.  
"You think you're sentient just because you realize that you exist? Humans are greedy, they prize themselves over anything else, as part of their nature they may accept others, so as to cut deals, some money here, a good lay there, they act as if they and the people they work with are living, feeling beings, and they begin to believe the lie. Humans don't feel. Not really. They care only about themselves and those who are or may one day be of use to them. Mostly attractive members of the opposite sex."  
The bar tender was beginning to understand. "Bad love life?" He asked.  
The man raised his gaze upon the barkeep. "No, there is nothing wrong with loving life I suppose." He said, misunderstanding, "That is if you truly believe yourself capable of love. What is love if not a word? Physical lust, attraction, the desire to mate, stirring conversation, a desire to share the cost of living with a partner, that's pretty much love as people know it."  
"Then what do you suppose love is?"  
"Nothing at all. It does not exist. Life on the other hand, that is the only thing that does exist, and it is a constant, wherever you go you can find life if only because *you're* there. Scientists have discovered so many forms of life, it flourishes everywhere and it adjusts itself to it's conditions because it refuses to stop. It's the candle that no one can put out. Well . . . maybe some day . . . I'll . . ." He trailed off.  
"Alright then, sir." The man shrugged, handing the man his bill.  
The man reached into his pocket and threw some money on the table without counting it. The bar tender looked at the wad of bills on the table, it was easily ten times what the drink was worth, so he kept his mouth shut. If this guy had money to throw around he'd let him do just that. "Thank you very much for your patronage." The bar tender said happily.  
"Don't mention it." The man said simply. He strolled away, giggling to himself.  
The bar tender noticed something as he counted the money . . . the man had forgotten his bag. "Uh, sir! Sir, you forgot your pack!" He called out, but his patron had disappeared. He shrugged and considered the bag his until the man came to claim it.  
He looked inside . . .  
"Neat clock!" He exclaimed. It counted down to zero.  
The entire building burst into flames, the windows exploded outward and spat flame like a half dozen crazed dragons. The people inside knew for a brief moment what it might be like to live on the sun, then they knew nothing at all.  
And the man, who'd turned to see it happen, walked away from the scene giggling to himself. Maybe some day he'd find a way to extinguish that candle. The only problem would be his inability to make absolutely sure that he'd succeeded, furthermore extinguishing life on this world, assuming he could ever manage it, would mean nothing as life would continue elsewhere. Life never stopped. If the life of this world was a candle, there were certainly countless more, like candles arranged on an infinitely old person's cake–with one for good luck–and blowing them all out would be impossible.  
But that didn't mean he couldn't have some fun trying to blow out all the candles. Oh such fun would he have . . . he was already smiling as he heard the fire engines, the people screaming in panic . . . today was a fun day . . . and it was just beginning! And with this the city had become more peaceful in the long run, now the population of excessive drinkers was down just a tad. His teacher had always told him that drinking was bad for your health. That is, she'd said it before he'd nailed her tongue to the table and burned the school down . . .  
He paused for a moment, having the strangest sensation that he'd agreed to be somewhere, possibly a school of sorts . . . but he decided it was unimportant. "I would have remembered if it was." He said to himself, he shoved his hands into his crowded pockets and strolled away whistling.  
  
** Meanwhile . . . **  
A man was sitting back in his easy chair happily humming to himself, and wondering when his loving, loyal wife, and his cute caring children would be home, he had such a great surprise for them, tickets to that great new amusement park!  
They'd be so happy!  
He leaned back . . . where was the remote? He searched around the arm rests, he looked around the easy chair, he chuckled nervously. "Gee . . . Where is it?"  
His wife came home. "Hello dear! I bought groceries, the kids are bringing them in now." She said.  
"Gee, that's just swell!" He said enthusiastically. "Uh, darling, have you see the remote control?"  
"No dear. Have you checked the arm rests?"  
"Yes. It isnt there." He said, disappointed.  
His wife began to help him look.  
His son came in carrying two paper bags full of groceries. "Hey dad!" He said happily.  
"Hey junior!" He said enthusiastically, "Have you seen the remote?"  
"Nope. Maybe you're sitting on it?"  
"Well that's a great idea, I didn't think to check!" The man said happily, certain that he'd find his remote. He checked, and it wasn't there . . .  
He forced a smile as a daytime talk show he didn't like came on . . . "Maybe your sister knows where it is." He said.  
His daughter came in, she was carrying three bags, but they were filled with light items. "Hi daddy!" She said happily.  
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Have you seen daddy's remote control, pumpkin?"  
"Pumpkin? Pumpkin! Pumpkins are orange and round! Are you calling me fat daddy!?"  
"You're skinny as a twig." Her brother scoffed.  
"That's not important!" The man in the chair said a little annoyed, "Have you seen the remote?"  
"Wah-hah-hah! I'm going to my room! Check under your chair!" She cried, running off to cry into her pillow.  
The man smiled again. "Thanks pump–er kitten, I didn't think to check there!" He said, and he leaned over to check under the seat.  
Nothing.  
He twitched.  
"Why don't you let me change it for you?" His son offered.  
"No, if you do that I'm stuck watching whatever you leave it on until you come back! I'm at your mercy!" He shouted.  
"I'll watch TV with you dear, then I can change it whenever you want." His wife offered.  
"Oh, but you've spent such a long hard day, shopping." He said sarcastically.  
"Oh it's no trouble dear!" His wife smiled.  
"Oh but it is." He said darkly, "you see the remote allows me to change automatically to the channel I want with the mere press of a few buttons, with you here I have to wait for you to reach the station I want."  
"Well maybe you'll find something nice that you didn't know about on the way?" His wife offered.  
"You just don't get it, do you? Now that I've experienced remoty goodness, I cant go back! Not for you, not for anyone!"  
"Sounds like someone's a little spoiled with his super technology!" His wife said with a disarming smile.  
But he'd be damned if he'd let something as stupid as *reason* or *common sense* stop him now! "Spoiled? Spoiled! Let me tell you something lady, while you're off spending my paycheck on groceries, or here inviting the neighbor men over for 'tea' I'm at work bustin' my back for this worthless, ugly family! That's right, you're all ugly!" His daughter emitted a loud sob from her room "I have to put up with you blasted fools day after day, your wants, your needs, I have to provide everything! You've been whining at me every night about how much these brats want to see that new amusement park, and I got tickets, stood in line for hours on my day off and now I just want the darn remote, but it's nowhere to be found! I bet you hid it! Or you sold it on the black remote market! You did didn't you? You sold it on the black remote market! Well what do you have to say for yourself!! Huh? Huh!? I'm waiting!!"  
She looked very surprised. "Uh . . . well I–"  
"You! Yeah you!" He interrupted her, "Shut up! I cant stand to hear your voice! I don't need the remote anymore! I don't need anything!" He jumped out of his chair and ran over to the window, "I hate you all!" He shouted as he leapt out of the window of their twelfth story apartment . . . as he was half way out the window to his gruesome death a thought occurred to him . . .  
He reached into his pocket . . .  
Happily he shouted up to his wife and son who were looking out the window in horror as he fell, "I found the remo–"  
** Enough Meanwhile . . . **  
No, the Meanwhile-Enough Meanwhile scene does NOT have anything to do with the story.  
  
Genma shone the light into the eyes of the first Koruda School fighter to wake. She was Anzu Koruda, the heiress of the school.  
"Why have you come?" Soun demanded.  
"I was told to come here and test my abilities against your greatest students, to prove once and for all that Koruda is better than Tendo!"  
"What are your measurements?!"  
"Thirty four, twenty six, thirty six–hey wait a minute, that's none of your–"  
"I'll ask the questions around here!" Soun cried. "How many more like you are there?"  
"Uh . . . four?"  
"Just the five of you? That's all? Koruda doesn't have any other students?"  
"Oh he's got tons! We host classes every week, and we've got a much larger dojo than you do."  
Soun began to cry, so Genma took over, "Well we're not that kind of dojo–"  
"Yes we are!" Soun wept, "I'm jut too lazy to teach the classes!"  
"Anyway, if it's a tournament you want we'll give it to you, at your dojo, our prized students against yours!"  
"If I agree . . . will you let me go?" Anzu asked.  
"Yes." Genma nodded.  
"Then it is a challenge you have! And woe be unto you, poor fools!" Anzu cried as Genma untied her. "Five on five, the battle to end all battles, the winner will reign supreme as the greatest school of fighting!"  
"Hai!" The other four Koruda students woke at just that moment and leapt up and followed Anzu out.  
"Make ready, our five finest students!" Genma cried.  
"Like the five fingers on the fist of justice, let the Koruda school of combat feel our mighty punch!" Soun leapt up and locked fists with Genma.  
"Urm . . . Father?" Kasumi piped up.  
"Hmm? Oh yes, Kasumi?" Soun asked.  
"Who are your five students?" She asked.  
Soun frowned. He began counting something on his fingers, Genma decided to do the same . . . there was Ranma . . . Akane . . . uh . . . Ranma and Akane . . . Ryoga . . . sort of . . . maybe Ukyo?"  
"Well . . . that's easy!" Soun chuckled, "We have six, there's Ranma, Akane, Ryoga, Ukyo, and Shampoo! Mousse can alternate incase Ryoga gets lost, and if he cant see the way we've got the skinny girl who talks too much! Ho-ho-ho-ho!"  
"Actually Lotion is still missing, remember?"  
"Oh yeah . . . well no matter." Soun chuckled.  
"And Ryoga seems to have disappeared too." Kasumi pointed out.  
Soun frowned. "He's probably with Nabi–"  
"No, he isnt." Nabiki said, poking her head out from the kitchen.  
"You don't know where he is?" Soun asked.  
"He's not in my room–he can never find the place–and I'm not hiding him in my pockets." Nabiki said. "So no, I don't."  
"I see . . . we should be fine with Ranma, Akane, Ukyo, Mousse and Shampoo, right?" Soun asked Genma.  
Genma shrugged. "What if Mousse, Shampoo, and Ukyo cant make it?"  
Soun grabbed Genma by the collar. "Then *we* would have to fight, so we'd better find Ryoga, and make sure Ukyo, Mousse and Shampoo can compete!"  
"For our safety!" Genma and Soun said together, locking fists again.  
  
Ryoga strolled into Ukyo's place whistling.  
"Heard you went to Hawaii sugar!" Ukyo called to him.  
"Hmm? Well we tried to, I think we ended up on one of the islands for a little while. But Nabiki got restless, and we left. She must have done something to make us really popular because we had to outrun a mob trying to get to the airport, the people were really happy, they were waving their fists, they got really excited, heck I'm pretty sure somebody fired a shot!" Ryoga said.  
Ukyo gave him a weird look. "Uh . . . that's super." She said.  
"I was kidding actually." Ryoga said.  
"I really hoped so." Ukyo laughed. "So where is she?"  
"Who?"  
"Your girlfriend, Akane's sister . . . which one was it?"  
"Nabiki?"  
"Yeah, her." Ukyo nodded.  
"Ah, she's at home. I came here because I'm having my mid-life crisis. Thought I'd eat until I got fat, or forgot my problems, or threw up, whichever came first"  
"Well . . . okay, I'm thinkin' you're a little too young for a mid-life crisis sugar, but just the same, doctor Ukyo's got the remedy for your ills! Okonomiyaki. But I'm giving you a limit of five, Nabiki might cook *me* if you went home fat, and I wont have people thinking my Okonomiyaki makes people puke." Ukyo chuckled.  
Ryoga shrugged and paid her the price of five Okonomiyakis. She shrugged back and went to work.  
Ryoga started to make a crane out of a napkin.  
"Hey sugar, how many weeks you been back? Ranma-honey didn't say a word when I went by there yesterday."  
"Well we just got back yesterday actually."  
Ukyo nearly dropped her spatula. "You just got back? And you're here?"  
"Yeah, I took a taxi." Ryoga shrugged. "It's great, you just give them money and tell them were you want to go. Getting them to stop is a bit of a trick, I guess I should be really thankful to Cologne for that Breaking Point training."  
Ukyo smiled, trying to keep it natural, but on the inside she was shocked at what this boy was implying. Why should getting hit with giant boulders help him stop a cab?   
Only one method came to mind, and she knew better than to think that he knew better. Given his choice of girlfriend, it had probably been Nabiki who taught him to do what she suspected he'd probably done. "Ryoga, are you really happy with Nabiki?"  
"What?" He asked.  
"Well it's just . . . you've changed. You used to like fighting Ranma-honey every once a month or so, and you used to really like Akane."  
"Yeah . . . and then Nabiki found out about P-Chan, made me her slave, forced me to go on TV with her, and Akane found out everything." Ryoga said bitterly.  
Ukyo smiled. Opportunity was knocking on her door! "Well . . . maybe I can set you up on a date with Akane, huh?"  
Ryoga shook his head. "I'm not just dating Nabiki, we're engaged. I'm not interested in Akane anymore." He said.  
"Is that really true?" Ukyo asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Somehow she doubted Ryoga was over Akane.  
"Well yeah. She wants to get married some time next summer, but our parents–"  
"No, I mean about you not being interested in Akane." Ukyo said. "You never wish that it was you she was marrying, not Ranma?"  
"Not really." Ryoga said, though he didn't sound certain. "Ranma's got Akane, that's great. I've got Nabiki . . . sort of . . . so in the end everyone wins, I guess."  
'Except me.' Ukyo thought. What chance did she have with Ranma if Akane was in the way? Her alternative was Konatsu, and frankly she considered him to be a serious trade down from Ranma Saotome, *her* Ran-chan. "So how is it being back?"  
"To be honest, I wish I was still on the road, where no one can find me." Ryoga mumbled unhappily. "No sooner do I get home than Yoshimi Harume, daughter of Kotaro Harume, age seventeen of three quarters, knocks on the Tendo door looking for me."  
"Who? Daughter of what? Age how many?" Ukyo raised an eyebrow.  
"Wait till you meet her a few times, you'll memorize it."  
"No thank you, I already met that skinny assassin." Ukyo scoffed. "So now you've got two girl friends? That sounds familiar."  
"Yes, I have become Ranma." Ryoga sighed. "But unlike Ranma, I haven't done anything to make Yoshimi think I have any romantic interest in her! And she acts so innocent in front of everyone, they don't know the truth!"  
"The truth?" Ukyo frowned.  
Ryoga gulped. "It was a long time ago, I forgot all about her until mom brought her up."  
Ukyo shook her head. "C'mon sugar, we're friends aren't we?"  
"There's a question." Ryoga grunted. "I thought we were just associates."  
"Aww c'mon, we're friends. So tell me, what's the truth about this second fiancee?"  
"Well . . ." Ryoga frowned.  
  
Some Years Ago . . .  
  
The wind howled, the rain poured down on a young Ryoga Hibiki, despite his umbrella. He was cold, freezing, and his bag was starting to feel heavy! After two days he decided it was safe to say he'd missed school on Friday, and his only hope was to get there by Monday and beg his teacher's forgiveness.  
But he wasn't really sure where he was now . . . the houses were really big, he wondered if he could hide from the storm in the shadow of one of those houses. Negotiating the security would be the only problem.  
Suddenly a really long car pulled up next to him, it was bright pink, and though the young boy immediately felt uncomfortable around it he wished the person inside would invite him in.  
Getting into cars with strangers was stupid, even suicidal, and though he was young Ryoga knew that–though he didn't really know what the word 'suicidal' meant–but desperate times called for desperate measures, and he was desperate.  
Before he could knock on it the tinted black window rolled down and a cute little girl about his age poked her head out, holding onto her sun hat as if for dear life, though she looked a little silly wearing it in this dark, gloomy storm.  
But then again, her hair was mostly dry, Ryoga was soaked, so who was he to judge.  
"Who are you?" The little girl demanded.  
"I-I'm Ryoga, Ryoga Hibiki!" He said.  
"What are you doing out here in the rain, Ryoga Ryoga Hibiki?" The girl asked, holding her hat with both hands now.  
"I was trying to find my school, but I gave up when my map blew away! Do you know where I can hide from this storm?"  
"You need a map to school?" The girl questioned suspiciously.  
"Yes," Ryoga said a little embarrassed. Why could everyone else find their way around? His mom said he was special, he was starting to wish he wasn't.  
"Hurry up Yoshi!" Someone shouted from inside the long car.  
"Oh all right! And you will call me Yoshimi!" The girl shouted back.  
"Wait Yoshimi!" Ryoga pleaded, "Can you tell me where to hide from the storm?"  
"How do you know my name?" Yoshimi asked suspiciously.  
"You just said it! Please, I'm cold!" Ryoga pleaded.  
"Oh right!" The girl smiled wide. "There's a dumptster over there, maybe there's some empty boxes inside you can make into a house!" As she pointed to the fancy dumpster (which had a fancy gate around it) her hat caught the wind and blew away.  
Ryoga's hand moved quickly, and caught the hat on a reflex. He would ever after wish that he'd let it fly away, but he was young, too young to realize what he was about to get into. He held it out to her.  
The girl stared at him for a few seconds, while her head became soaked until she resembled a wet cat, her shoulder length hair whipping her face which went from a look of hat-loss outrage, to shock, then slowly to a cute buy scary overjoyed look of excitement!  
She took the hat back, and let it go, Ryoga caught it on reflex and give it back, they did this two more times before she decided not to push her luck. "Wow!" She said at last. She said something else that sounded like 'incredible' but it was drowned out by the wind.  
"Uh . . . I'm gonna go now." Ryoga informed her.  
"No! No! Come inside, quick! Why are you going over there? There's nothing but a dumpster over there, you need to get out of the rain, not play in the garbage!" The little girl cried.  
Ryoga was a little confused. "But you said–"  
"Never mind that!" The girl said, opening the door just a crack, the wind flung it open the rest of the way, it made a sound that suggested that only a miracle had kept the whole car door from flying away. "Come inside, you'll freeze out there!" She said.  
Ryoga got in, and she made an attempt to close to door but to no avail.  
'Girls are so weak' he thought, so he closed the door for her. This only further impressed her.  
"Wow!" She said as the driver–who was some ways in front of them–continued his drive, not questioning the new passenger, or the reasons for his presence. "You're really strong Ryoga Ryoga Hibiki!" She said.  
"His name's just Ryoga, stupid." Another kid, a fat little boy with a missing tooth said. He looked sort of like Yoshimi.  
"He said his name was Ryoga Ryoga Hibiki, Yamato!" Yoshimi hissed.  
"Uh actually I'm Ryoga. Just Ryoga. Hibiki is my family name."  
"Well that makes sense." Yoshimi said, blushing.  
"See? Stupid." Yamato scoffed.  
"Quiet!" Yoshimi growled at Yamato, then to Ryoga in a sweet voice she said, "Did you just move here? I have not seen you around before!"  
"Uh . . . no, I live far away . . . I think. I've never seen this place before . . . this is Japan, right?"  
"Well . . . yes . . . where else would it be?" Yoshimi sounded very interested in what Ryoga had to say, it was kind of nice.  
"Well I've been all over the place," Ryoga said.  
"You go to schools all over Japan?" Yoshimi blinked.  
"No, I just go to one school, and usually a friend walks me to it, but whenever he forgets, or he's sick, or something I have to try to find my own way."  
"You mean you don't know the way to your own school?" Yamato scoffed, pulling a finger from his nose.  
"Uh . . . well . . . I know *of* the way." Ryoga tried.  
"What're you, born without a sense of direction or something?" Yamato demanded.  
"Well . . . yes." Ryoga frowned.  
"And what about common sense? The ability to read signs? Why don't your parents drive you to school?"  
"I'm not sure if we have a car." Ryoga admitted.  
"Well you should!" Yamato scoffed. "They aren't that expensive, I can afford one with my allowance. I've bought ten actually, I can't drive them yet, but then that's what servants are for."  
"He's lying." Yoshimi said simply. "He only has three cars."  
"Uh . . . I guess I should ask them." Ryoga said.  
"If you ever get home." Yamato grunted, shoving his finger back into his nose for another gold run.  
"You *do* know the way home, right?" Yoshimi asked.  
"Sure." Ryoga said, not willing to be further teased by a fat rich kid disturbingly interested in what was up his nose.  
"So Ryoga, what brings you to my neighborhood?"  
"Well . . . I saw a storm brewing so I tried to get away from it, but I guess I went the wrong way." Ryoga said.  
"Ah. You seem honest Ryoga, that's good. Rich people aren't really honest. When I saw you, I knew you looked different. I thought you were a hit man! Daddy's rivals hire them some times to kidnap me, or kill me." She reached behind her back and pulled out a very fancy and very real gun, "If you were a hit man, I'd have to put a cap in your skull, but daddy says it can get expensive if I don't know for sure that the person I shoot is a hit man."  
Ryoga almost wet himself as she waved the gun in his direction.  
"Yeah, we were gonna do a drive by. Then Yoshi remembered her dad gets mad if she doesn't make sure first." Yamato said.  
"I'm not a hit man." Ryoga said.  
"Oh I realize that." Yoshimi smiled. "And that trick where you caught my hat was neat, I bet you'd make a good body guard. Can you catch a bullet?"  
"Uh I don't think–"  
"Let's find out!" Yoshimi squealed, firing the gun.  
It was like thunder, the sound hurt poor Ryoga's ears, and the smoke made him cough. But he didn't feel the icy hot grip of death. He was okay.  
"You missed it!" Yoshimi complained.  
Ryoga was soon gapping at the bullet hole in the seat next to his head. "I don't catch bullets!" He yelped.  
"Oh pooh. You know some times daddy hires assassins to kill me, he says it's to keep me on my toes, but I think he just wants to make sure that my aim doesn't get rusty."  
"Isnt that the same as keeping you on your–" she fired another shot, Ryoga yelped.  
"Sorry, I thought perhaps if I caught you unaware . . ." Yoshimi said.  
"Like the first time?" Ryoga demanded.  
"Oh yeah!" Yoshimi said. "You didn't catch it then either. You know you're not a very good hit man."  
"I'm not a–ahhh!" She fired again! "I'm not a hit man!" Ryoga cried.  
"That's it, I'm taking that gun away!" Yamato cried, "You're too dangerous Yoshi, uncle Kotaro is insane letting you have a gun!"  
"Try it, I dare you!" Yoshimi held her gun out daring Yamato to take it.  
"Hah! Your pistol has six shots, you used three just now, and three earlier on that ice cream truck!"  
"Hah! I only used two on the ice cream man, one for each of his front tires!"  
"I heard three shots!" Yamato cried.  
"Yeah, the third one was his." Yoshimi said, "He was obviously a hit man, I think my quick thinking saved us. If I hadn't shot his wheels you'd have bought ice cream and then he'd have shot you!"  
"Maybe he wouldn't have shot anyone if you hadn't blown his tires, stupid!" Yamato cried, as Yoshimi considered this he made his move.  
Everything was slow motion–or rich kids move really slow–Yoshimi's eyes lit up, in that instant Ryoga saw her true self, she wanted to kill something and she didn't much care if it was him, Yamato, their driver, or an ice cream man. She'd baited her fish and now he was read to be reeled in!  
Her hand closed around the gun that she had been holding out, Ryoga's hand moved even faster, he shoved Yamato back as Yoshimi fired her gun, the bullet took Yamato's hat off his head.  
And the moment passed, things returned to their normal speed, Ryoga had been to rough in stopping Yamato, and the shock of Yoshimi's sixth shot shook him, still it seemed he knew better than to oppose his scary cousin, so instead he turned on Ryoga!  
"You hit me! You hit me! You peasant!"  
"I did not! She shot at you!" Ryoga said.  
Yoshimi's reaction to the entire event was confusing, frightening and even disturbing. She beamed at Ryoga, and said, "You hit my mean cousin Yamato! You protected me from his mean words!"  
"I did what?" Ryoga demanded. "Look, just let me out already, I'll take the storm!" He said. A part of him was really scared that Yoshimi had more bullets somewhere.  
"Oh no! You have to meet my daddy! You're incredible! He has to meet you!"  
"Really, let me out of the car!" Ryoga pleaded.  
"But why?"  
"I uh . . . my parents don't want me playing with guns."  
"Oh don't be silly. No one is playing with guns, this is serious work we do." Yoshimi giggled, and tossed her gun aside–now that it was empty–she kept beaming at Ryoga, he felt sort of like a new toy, it was uncomfortable.  
He did indeed meet Yoshimi's father, who as it turned out was really scary because he yelled a lot, and grabbed Ryoga and shook him asking if he'd looked into Yoshimi's eyes, and asking him why he didn't run while he had the chance.  
But when Yoshimi told him that Ryoga had no sense or direction, and that he traveled all over japan, and to different countries . . . he changed his tune, he suddenly wanted to meet Ryoga's parents, couldn't stop speaking praises of his daughter, kept mentioning what a good wife she'd make one day, and how long her mother had kept her looks, even during pregnancy, and that Yoshimi would probably be the same way.  
All of it was probably fascinating, but to a little boy like Ryoga it was just a scary head ache. When his parents were tracked down–a week of torment later–they'd been quick to sign something, and drink wine with Yoshimi's dad, then they kept talking about what a cute couple he and Yoshimi made, and Yoshimi started scolding him about his posture and how she wouldn't be with a sloucher, whatever any of that meant.  
So for the first time Ryoga actually got lost on purpose, he ran away from that place and never looked back, he hadn't really realized that he was engaged to Yoshimi until much later.   
  
"Neato!" Ukyo said. "She sounds worse than Kodachi!"  
"I'd rather be engaged to Kodachi than Yoshimi!" Ryoga groaned as he finished his fifth Okonomiyaki. Ukyo didn't really believe he'd eat all five, but he had.  
"You're not that lucky, sugar." Ukyo teased.  
Ryoga shook his head. His hand wandered into his pocket and found something . . . he pulled it out, it was the envelope Lotion had given him.  
'Something just for you . . .' her words echoed in his head. At the time he'd been afraid of having another girlfriend, all the time he'd spent teasing Ranma had left him paranoid.  
But now that he thought of it her tone had not been overly flirtatious, or affectionate. He wondered what her secret could be . . .  
He was about to open it when Yoshimi–flanked by a pair of pink ninjas–strolled in. She looked around innocently, then waved at Ryoga as if this were the last place she'd expected to find him.  
"Is that her?" Ukyo whispered. Ryoga nodded. "Want me to beat her up?"  
"No, I'll handle this." Ryoga smiled.  
"I can kick her out." Ukyo offered.  
"Then we'll be surrounded on all exits, forced to camp out in here until negotiators can come in, best just to deal with her now." He laughed softly.  
Yoshimi skipped over, she held her hands behind her back and smiled at Ryoga, "Hi!" She said, "I didn't think I'd find you here!"  
"And I didn't think you'd come here!" Ryoga said with mock enthusiasm. In his heart he thought , 'Narcissistic girl, go away, flee, be gone, stop trying to act so innocent, you wicked thing! Go away! I don't love you and you know it, stop trying to ruin my life, I hate you! I hate you! If you weren't a girl I'd kill you! You twit, you poser, I'd definitely make you die!'  
"What are you doing here?" Yoshimi asked.  
"I came here to get something to eat . . . I ate it . . . now I should probably go." Ryoga said.  
"Oh? Well I'll walk with you!" Yoshimi said.  
"I was going to take a cab." Ryoga said.  
"I'll ride with you then, and pay your fare!" Yoshimi said.  
"I uh . . . you came here for a reason, right?"  
"Just to use the phone to call the Tendo house for directions so I could visit you!" Yoshimi squeaked happily. "My regular driver got sick, so I needed to hire a new one on the spot and he didn't know the way!"  
"But you were just there when I left!" Ryoga protested.  
"Was I? Was I really, darling?" Yoshimi said with a knowing laugh.  
"Yes."  
"Okay fine, I just left so I could be with you." She admitted. "Can you blame me? Is it so wrong?"  
"Well uh . . ." Ryoga tried to think of something.  
"Ryoga," Ukyo spoke up, "don't you remember? You said you'd help me out with dishwashing today."  
"Oh right!" Ryoga nodded. He looked at Yoshimi, "Sorry, I made a promise to my friend Ukyo here."  
"Cant he get on without you?" Yoshimi pouted.  
Ukyo flinched at being referred to in the masculine. Maybe it would happen less often if she'd try dressing like a girl. "Ryoga has a lot to do, it's almost lunch rush-hour."  
"Could I borrow him until the rush hour then?" Yoshimi tried.  
"No, he needs to get ready."  
"Well what if my two body guards here took over for him?" Yoshimi offered. She didn't wait to hear Ukyo's reply, she clapped her hands, "Great! Come on then Ryoga!" She grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him off, leaving her two body guards to help Ukyo.  
"Thanks anyway." Ryoga mouthed, Ukyo gave an apologetic shrug.  
"Today is going to be great! I have all sorts of fun things planned!" Yoshimi said. "First we'll have a practice marriage, then we'll take a walk on the beach! You haven't seen me in a bathing suit yet, I'm so nervous!"  
'Somebody shoot me now.' Ryoga thought.  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
Well there's some of the secrets revealed (while you probably didn't care what Anzu's measurements were, it's a secret revealed none-the-less!) but it seems we've run a long show. Maybe if we didn't put in that pointless remote control segment. Also note, it did occur to me that Ryoga's memory is not perfect enough to deliver such a "detailed" retelling of his past, but I didn't see any point in repeating the same scene multiple times, one telling all and the other a narrative slur, so I instead just told the real story.  
  
NEXT TIME! In Chapter VI "Adult Decisions"  
Soun and Genma try to iron out the details of the tournament (namely the identities of their fighters) but could their next drink be their last? Cologne has a talk with Shampoo and Mousse, what's that wily old woman planning? Ryoga is saved from his date with Yoshimi, but could this mean that he has a new girlfriend to deal with? Who will it be? Ukyo perhaps? Will one of Kasumi's plans to restore some order to her family result in disaster? Nabiki will be kissed by someone who isnt Ryoga, and her overseas contact will show himself, or herself just as Yoshimi puts the finishing touches on her plot, but will Nabiki's possibly legal new job get in the way of what the insane rich girl has planned? Will Nabiki actually go through with this job when Ryoga finally finds out? How can this simple job endanger their deception–er I mean relationship?   
If you're thinking "Oh sure, yeah right, you wont fit all that into one chapter, you're just telling us lies again!" then this time it is *your* head that is filthy with lies, because chapter VI will deliver! 


	6. Adult Decisions 1

A/N: For those of you wondering the "Meanwhile" section in chapter 5 had no real point, it wasn't even scripted, I can say that I wrote it to represent how someone (the unnamed man) with everything will throw his life away over nothing (a missing remote control), but I'd be lying. I wrote it because I was bored.  
Sorry, this chapter was painfully long. My mind is a confusing place to be, I felt I'd gone too long without answering most of the questions I was raising, and in fact simply raising more because I could. I'm a jerk. I tried to cram a bunch of stuff into one chapter, but it worked too well, or not well enough. Now Chapter 6 got cut to become 6 and 7, and I didn't think of a new title for 7 because I am a lazy person.

Charlotte's Sequel  
Chapter VI (that means 6)  
Adult Decisions . . . (Part 1)  
  
Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome both sat back, staring at their half empty glasses . . . well . . . Genma felt his was half full.  
They'd stopped in at their favorite bar for a refreshing sip of beer. Just one sip, really! But then the pints were poured, it'd be wasteful not to finish them off. Just one pint, honestly, then it was off to Cat Café to inquire as to hiring Mousse, and Shampoo as mercenary students for the upcoming battle!  
"Get me another one!" Genma cried, waving his mug at the bartender.  
"This is your third one, sir." The bartender said, "You know I really cant let either of you drive home . . ."  
"Not to worry!" Genma laughed, "We're walkers! Always have been. We walk everywhere! Great exercise!"  
"Yup! Though you'd never tell by your gut, eh Saotome?" Soun chuckled.  
"Heh-heh-heh, yeah, and to think I'm the one with a good lookin' wife."  
"That I sleep with." Soun laughed.  
"Yeah . . ." Genma frowned. "That woman! I don't care if she does want to feel young, how does sleeping with you help her to feel young? I'm tired of her being so promiscuous" Genma started to cry.  
"Yeah . . . nice rack though." Soun said.  
"You kidding? At her age, I'm shocked that they're not fake!" Genma chuckled, recovering from his tears.  
"Oh yeah, and she does the most amazing thing with her mouth . . . I probably shouldn't have said that." The bartender said.  
Genma's response was a loud "Oh good grief, you too!?" and then he was silent for a moment. Without warning he lunged for the bartender, Soun also lunged, but did so to catch Genma, who fell back onto his stool and moaned. "Oh who am I kidding?" He shrugged. He was obviously used to it by now.  
"Eh . . . well now Saotome, don't you think we should be going?" Soun asked.  
"Oh yes . . . better get going . . . tell me something Tendo . . . where are we going?"  
"We were supposed to . . . look for fighters . . . to compete for us in the big tournament." Soun slurred.  
"Right . . . so . . . lets go, Tendo." Genma nodded.  
Soun maneuvered himself off his seat and towards the door, he looked back to make sure Genma was following him, and not attacking the bar tender when he bumped into something.  
It was a person, he wore a jacket so long that it went down to his ankles, beyond that Soun was too drunk to recognize any other details.  
The man fell back, and dropped a red bag. "I'm sorry!" Soun said, perhaps a little louder than he needed to, "here, let me help you up!"  
"N-no, that's all right, don't touch me . . . I've gotta go." The man said, he looked terrified.  
Soun frowned. Genma slapped him on the shoulder, "Quit making' trouble Tendo, we've gotta go see Cologne."  
Soun nodded, but something didn't seem right. Still he followed Genma . . . where had that guy gone to?  
He didn't travel far before he felt a little light headed–more so than normal that is–he fell to his knees and began to choke.  
He felt as if his brain had been wrapped around a brick, sprayed with lemon and then hurled at brick wall. The hang over was kicking in a little early . . . or something. Genma laughed at Soun, then he fell to the ground in a swoon. Soun never did like being left out, so he followed suit.  
  
"Shampoo cannot find her!" Shampoo complained.  
Cologne stomped her foot in frustration.  
"She cannot have gotten far. You know what to do when you find her." She said to Shampoo and Mousse. "Be on your toes, this is a serious assignment."  
"Shampoo understands, great grandmother." Shampoo nodded.  
"I will do all that I can to see this crisis averted." Mousse added his voice to the discussion.  
"I am counting on you," she said, looking at Shampoo, then she turned to Mousse with a shudder "both of you."  
"Your faith will be rewarded, elder, I can do this task." Mousse said, standing as if at attention.  
"I have faith," she said, then because it made it easier to get the words out, she turned to Shampoo before finishing the sentence with a "in your abilities." It made it seem as if she were speaking to both of them.  
She took a deep breath. How had the assassin figured out that it was Set? How had that halfwit figured out how to breathe? Cologne had been very careful to describe very vividly the involvement of the village, and she hadn't used Set's name at all.  
She stomped her foot again. 'How did that girl figure it out?'  
"Great Grandmother . . . why you not tell Ranma the truth?"  
"It would have made no difference what I told them, only Kasumi might have been persuaded to assist us, and she would have been a hindrance."  
"Let Shampoo ask, Shampoo get Ranma and Ryoga to help."  
"Unnecessary. The time it would take to convince them is time wasted, and we've no time to waste. You know what to do." Cologne turned and leapt from roof top to roof top. 'Curse her! Curse her!' She thought. 'It's lunch time, all the customers we're losing to Ukyo over this . . . we must stop the madness!"  
  
"We're going to lose all our customers to Cologne if we just let those wannabe ninja take care of the place." Konatsu huffed.  
Ukyo cracked her knuckles and took a deep breath. "Sacrifices must be made if I'm gonna have any chance at all with Ranma-honey." She told herself. "If I can get Ryoga set up with Akane, I can move in on Ranma!"  
"But you've tried this plan before, and it's never worked." Konatsu protested.  
Ukyo scoffed at the beautiful boy. "Exactly! That's why this plan is so much better."  
"Uh . . . what? It's the same plan, it's not really any different than the others so how could it be better?"  
"It's different!" Ukyo cried  
"Okay, so now it involves Akane's sister . . . which I think is a bad idea because Nabiki Tendo is supposed to be super intelligent or something."  
"She just says that to intimidate other people." Ukyo scoffed. "I have to strike while the iron is hot, Yoshimi's got no body guards and Ryoga doesn't like her enough to stop me." Ukyo chuckled.  
"So you think his undying gratitude is enough to make him dump Nabiki for Akane?" Konatsu gave her a questioning look.  
"He was in love with Akane for a lot longer than he's been with Nabiki. I bet she's just blackmailing him for some reason."  
"And if he really does love her?"  
"Shouldn't matter."  
"Are you sure about that?"  
"Well let me put it this way . . . if I were being forced to date Tsubassa even though I loved Ranma-honey, and Ryoga saved me from said date and maybe stepped on Tsubassa while he was at it, then told me to date Kinnosuke to help him get Nabiki, even though I loved Ranma I'd gladly go along with it."  
"Uh-huh . . . I'm confused, ma'am." Konatsu frowned.  
"In summary; Yes, I do think Ryoga will do exactly as I say."  
"If you say so." Konatsu sighed.  
"That's right. I say so. Who is the brains in this outfit?"  
"You of course." Konatsu sighed longingly.  
"That's right, just leave everything to me. You man the post and be sure nothing happens while I'm away."  
"Yes ma'am!" Konatsu saluted. Ukyo set off on her mission.  
  
"This is so stupid." Ryoga grumbled.  
"Oh don't be silly!" Yoshimi said.  
"Look, Yoshimi, there's some things we've just got to talk about."  
"Five." Yoshimi said firmly.  
"Eh?"  
"I refuse to have any more than five children, if we were to have six or more we would never have enough time for all of them!"  
"Uh . . . okay . . ."  
"Well I'm glad we got these issues out of the way, now for the practice wedding!" Yoshimi said.  
"Uh, no, that's actually not what I wanted to talk about . . . at all."  
"Hmm? Well then what did you want sweetums?"  
"Well uh . . . you have to stop calling me sweetums."  
"Oh is that all! Well no problem muffin!"  
"No that's not all!" Ryoga protested. "I'm not too keen on you calling me muffin!"  
"Oh, well how about Smooky?" The rich girl offered.  
"No!"  
"Lovums?" She tried.  
"Never!"  
"Bubble Gum!" Yoshimi cried.  
"Nuh-what? Look, that's not the point!"  
"Then what is?" Yoshimi asked.  
"I . . . I . . . I cant remember now!" Ryoga groaned.  
"Oh, silly Bubble Gum!" Yoshimi giggled.  
Ryoga just sighed.  
Suddenly he felt a powerful hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn. There was . . . eh . . . someone familiar.  
"Ryoga! How dare you?" It was a girl who looked sort of like Ukyo, only she was all dressed up like a girl, and far more so than Ukyo at her girliest. Her breasts seemed at least two cup sizes larger as well.  
"Uh . . . what?" Ryoga scratched his head. "Who are you?"  
"Wuh . . . who am I? Who am I!? How stupid are you!?" The girl demanded. "I'm . . ." she glanced sideways at Yoshimi, "Yukio."  
"Yukio? Your name is familiar . . . so is your face . . . so I guess we must have met . . ." Ryoga said as he scratched his chin.  
"Well then . . . would you kindly introduce her?" Yoshimi asked.  
"Eh? Uh . . . Yoshimi, this is Yukio my eh . . . friend?"  
"Fiancee." Yukio said firmly.  
"Eh? My what? Um . . . are you sure?" Ryoga scratched his head. "We didn't meet in Vegas did we? Because Nabiki was just really ticked off at me back then for getting addicted to slot machines, but when she told me to go play in parking lot, somehow I just found my way into that casino, I didn't mean to be there I swear, but anything I might have done or said to pay off my debt--"  
"Ryoga . . . how could you forget me?" Yukio sighed. "You're coming with me, we've got a lot of catching up to do."  
"Not another one!" Ryoga sighed. "Powers that be, I swear I'll never tease Ranma again if you stop making new fiancees pop out'a the ground every ten days!"  
"Hey, wait a moment, you cant just--" Yoshimi began but Yukio just backhanded her and sent her flying.  
"I can and I will! Now silence you trailer park queen!" Yukio cried as she dragged Ryoga away.  
Ryoga felt tears of joy well up in his eyes. He turned to Yukio and said "You're my hero!"  
  
Nabiki sat back watching TV. Dad was out looking for new star pupils, Ranma and Akane were missing, and Kasumi had gone to the market for something she'd forgotten to buy that she really needed to prepare lunch, therefore there was also nothing to eat unless Nabiki were to expel the energy to get up and make something herself, and that was exactly what Kasumi was supposed to be for in the first place!   
There was nothing to do and no one to do it with. Normally she would pass the time in bed (or on a couch . . . or table . . . or the floor) with Ryoga, but he wasn't home either so that plan was foiled.  
All that was left was to watch these anime reruns.  
Harro Yuri had just finished self destructing his Gundarn for the umpteen hundredth time when the door bell rang. A little thankful for the distraction Nabiki got up to answer it, and hopefully find the solution to her boredom.  
Unfortunately it was Kuno.  
"Nabiki Tendo, I–"  
"Akane isnt here, neither is Ranma, and the pigtailed girl moved to France."  
"France! I must go–er . . . I am here to see you Nabiki Tendo."  
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "I've been gone for months, I haven't got any pictures to sell you, Kuno-baby, and I don't think it's very healthy anymore, not that it was back in highschool, but legally you're an adult now, I think you can get arrested for this sort of thing."  
Kuno smiled his charming idiot smile. "Lovely Nabiki Tendo . . . the only picture I have come here to see is you . . . the perfect picture of innocence and serenity."  
"Yep, that's me Kuno-baby, innocent and serene." Nabiki said with a raised eyebrow. "What do you really want?"  
"The pleasure of your company." Kuno said, running his fingers through his hair as he were trying to advertise his own conditioner, which Nabiki noted he might be quite good at.  
"Well . . . what'd you have in mind?" Nabiki asked, mostly seeing this as a possible cure for boredom, but also a chance to get some money (in the form of cash, or gifts, either was good) from her rich friend.  
"An enchanting boat ride for two, followed by a picnic in the park catered by the finest gourmet chefs!"  
'That sounds really good . . .' she frowned. "Are you asking me out? Like on a date?"  
"Of course. You're shocked, and speechless, I know, but this day was fated, you knew in your heart that one day I–"  
Nabiki frowned. "Kuno-baby, how can I put this? Uh . . . you're an idiot, and I'm engaged."  
"I know. But I, Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno must have you by my side . . . we've been friends–"  
"Acquaintances." Nabiki corrected.  
"Associates." Kuno offered, Nabiki nodded acceptance. "We have been associates for a long time, Nabiki Tendo. I know you better than he ever will. You know I can give you the things you want, while he can offer you, at best a small home and late bill payments."  
"I think we'll manage." Nabiki frowned. "Why does no one believe me? Is it so hard to believe that I've found something more imported than money?" Nabiki had to force the word out of her mouth.   
"Did you say 'imported'?" Kuno asked.  
"Important!" Nabiki clarified, she was really working on that problem of hers. "Ryoga is more important."  
"Than what?"  
"Money, you fool!"  
"Say it all together in one sentence." Kuno smiled.  
"Ryoga is more important to me than money! Ha, I did it!" Nabiki said with pride.  
"Well . . . what about jewelry?" Kuno asked, unleashing a small box, he opened it to reveal a pair of beautiful diamond earrings. "Is Ryoga more important to you than these?"  
"Ryoga, who?" Nabiki asked, almost having an orgasm. "Uh, I mean that's . . . nothing." She said.  
"Well these 'nothings' are made of twenty four carrot gold or something, the jeweler said that was supposed to be good, the gold is coupled with the most magnificent diamonds in the world, any larger and they'd give you neck problems. They're yours if you'll but spend one afternoon in my company, dear Nabiki Tendo."  
"Why are you so interested in me all of the sudden?" Nabiki asked, the earrings had thrown her off, otherwise she'd have remembered the things she'd told Yoshimi and put two and two together.  
"I have been examining my life . . . though there are very few things that I do not take pride in, one of those few is my alienation of you, lovely Nabiki Tendo. How could I be so blind? All this time I've wanted Akane, and the pigtailed girl, but here you are, standing there, loving me as you do, as so many ladies do . . . you are so beautiful, how could I not notice before?"  
"Good question. Now leave." Nabiki commanded, feeling that if he stuck around any longer she might do something she'd regret. 'It's a harmless date.' She thought to herself. 'Those earrings could probably feed a third world country . . . and they're mine if I just go out with him . . . nothing else to do, how could it hurt?' She wondered.  
"Nabiki . . . just one day by my side, it is all that I ask. If it is not the best day of your life, you may keep the earrings and we will go back to being mere friends, as we were before. But if you enjoy yourself, all I ask is that you consider seeing me again."  
"I need to think about it." Nabiki said, then mentally chided herself, 'You fool! Don't say that! Be firm, like every other time you deal with him, send him away, or find some way to trick him into giving you the earrings without the date! Remember, you're engaged to Ryoga! You are in love with Ryoga!'  
"No one need ever know . . . but us." Kuno offered.  
'How true!' Nabiki thought. "Wouldn't you rather give those to Akane?" She asked. 'Then I can get them when she throws them away in disgust.'  
"I admire Akane Tendo's masculine prowess, but in you I admire the stunning beauty, the beauty that swallows me whole! In truth these earrings cannot compete with your beauty, but they can hope to benefit from it, their beauty coupled with your own would cease the tears of babes!"  
"Well . . ." Nabiki frowned. "All right. Just one date . . . but you cannot tell Ryoga, and I'm not having sex with you."  
"On our first outing? Perish the thought!" Kuno cried in perhaps feigned innocence.  
  
"Blue Thunder in position." Tatewaki's voice came to Yoshimi in her earpiece. "Eagle has landed, I repeat: the eagle has landed."  
"What did that mean again?" Yoshimi asked.  
"Whore Goddess is secured."  
"Excellent work, Eagle One, unfortunately Love Paladin has escaped with a Peasant." Yoshimi pouted, 'Peasant' was the code name for outside, or unplanned interference.  
"Say again?"  
"Target Love Paladin has been kidnaped by some bimbo, slut, tramp, whore!" Yoshimi interpreted. She took a deep breath to keep from losing her cool. "Do not worry, our plans will continue, I was prepared for this. Puppet Master, move into sector nine and be prepared to intercept."  
"Sector nine? But we're in sector three headed for two!" Tatewaki protested.  
"Sector nine is the park, if you recall, I want her in sector nine by fourteen hundred. Puppet Master, you will wait in sector nine, and be ready to intercept Whore Goddess."  
"Hey, this whole cloak and dagger thing is neat, really, but out of curiosity, Whore Goddess is Nabiki, right?" Kinnosuke asked.  
"Yes, exactly, and please stick to the code names."  
"Well why'd she get such a dumb code name?" Kinnosuke asked.  
"Long story . . . and I do not like her." Yoshimi sighed. Then she had another idea! "Move into position, I am cutting communications for one, I repeat, one hour, fend for yourselves until then.  
"Hey, agent Blue Thunder, you wanna hear a funny joke?" Kinnosuke asked.  
"Are you daft man? I am supposed to be on a date! She's going to notice if I keep speaking to myself!"  
"Right. Well anyway, when is it time to fix your girlfriend's watch?"  
Yoshimi sighed and cut off communications. "Just don't screw anything up for one hour, that's all I ask!" She raised a loosely clenched fist to the heavens, "Ryoga will be mine!" She declared.  
  
Mousse shook his head as it came time to part ways with beloved Shampoo. Because of the mission they'd been together for a short part of the journey, (they walked across a crosswalk together) but now it was over. He had to get his feelings out, he had to get them out now!  
"Shampoo . . . that was a lovely walk we've just had." He said. "I uh . . . well I might not come back from this one, if indeed the mission is a perilous as the elder would have us believe. I want you to know . . . I truly care for you. With all of my heart."  
Shampoo said, "Shampoo knows . . . Shampoo . . . has always known . . . and yet . . . Shampoo no care. Stupid Mousse." a wicked grin played across her face.  
"Wait Shampoo! Hear me out!" Mousse said, removing his glasses so he didn't look like a geek, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her to face him. "I love you! I love you with all of my heart! I want to marry you, to be with you forever! I know not what the future may bring, but I know with you by my side it will be grand! What do you say? Can you understand where I am coming from? Do these words mean nothing to you?"  
"You make an old woman feel young again." The old lady who keeps watering her plants said, and though Mousse couldn't see it, she was blushing and batting her eye lashes at him.  
He promptly let her go and looked around (like that'd help him) for Shampoo. "Shampoo? Shampoo!? Where did you go?"  
Mousse frowned. If this really was such a dangerous mission, this might be the last time he ever saw her, granted for him that wasn't saying much.  
  
"And that's all I ask." Ukyo smiled.  
"Right . . ." Ryoga nodded.  
"You got confused." She huffed.  
"No, I got it all. You want me to dump Nabiki--"  
"Temporarily! You can even tell her it's temporary." Ukyo threw in.  
"Right, 'temporarily' leave Nabiki. Go along with this insane plan to help you get your hooks on Ranma . . . in exchange for this, you'll keep Yoshimi off my back."  
"That's correct." She laughed.   
"You realize Yoshimi's revenge will be swift and unjust." Ryoga pointed out.  
"What's she going to do, sue me?" Ukyo scoffed. "There's nothing she can do."  
"Nothing she can do . . . legally." Ryoga sighed.  
"Well yeah. Do you think she'd go outside the law?"  
"'Law' is such a small concept. Yoshimi is unpredictable and violent, she has little use for laws." Ryoga said.  
"Well I'm willing to risk that if you're willing to help me with what I want." Ukyo said. "Otherwise you can still make it in time for the rehearsal wedding."  
"This isnt something I can just decide." He grumbled.  
"Oh Ryoga! Don't you want to see me in my bathing suit?" Ukyo squeaked, changing her voice to mimic Yoshimi.  
Ryoga shuddered. "You can just hit her again. I'd like to see that . . . maybe break her neck or something like that, put her out of my misery" He said darkly, then shook his head, "I didn't mean that by the way."  
"Of course not. You're not the overly violent type . . . 'least when it comes to girls . . . eh, real girls, not Ranma-honey. Of course when it does come to Ran-chan you're the excessively violent type." Ukyo shrugged. "Anyway, I can snap her neck if you want. All part of the deal."  
"But I don't want anyone breaking her neck!" Ryoga protested.  
"But I just want you to know . . . that I can." Ukyo said, tapping her nose, though Ryoga didn't know what the gesture meant.  
"I am through with the 'snapping of the neck' conversation." Ryoga said firmly. "I liked you better as Yukio."  
"You liked me in a dress you mean?" Ukyo raised an eyebrow.  
"Oh no, I've seen you in a dress before. I just liked it better when you were some new possibly homicidal fiancee who won major points by back handing Yoshimi. That's all."  
Ukyo just sighed.  
  
"This one's stable, he's gonna make it."  
"Don't jinx it, we don't know what we're dealing with yet!"  
"But the other one stabilized, I think they're in the clear."  
"Where's the doctor?"  
"He's bedding one of the new nurses. The bimbo that told us at lunch how she's never going to fall for his lies and charms."  
"You're one to judge. Didn't he sleep with you too, during your first month?"  
"I needed the money to pay my student loans, and anyway he slept with you on your first week, so you shouldn't talk."  
"But he said he loved me!"  
"And you believed him . . . how sweet . . . idiot."  
"What a pair we make."  
"Hey, I think this one is waking up!"  
"Is he supposed to do that? Darn it isn't the doctor finished with that tramp yet?"  
Genma's eye's opened slowly, everything was hazy, so he blinked a few times. There were two young, attractive women dressed all in white standing over him.  
'I've gone to heaven . . .' he decided. 'But if I cup their breasts . . . will I be cast out?'  
"Sir, can you hear me?" One of the women–a cute brunette with a nice rack–said in about as loud a tone as one is allowed to take in a hospital.  
"Can I see my grand mother?" Genma asked. "I haven't seen her since she died twelve years ago."  
"What? Uh . . . is he delirious?" A blonde nurse (Equally attractive as the first, but with shorter hair) frowned.  
"I don't know!" The brunette snapped, "Where is the doctor? He must have finished that tramp off by now!"  
"Uh . . . well sir there's nothing we can do if your grandmother is dead." Blonde frowned.  
"For twelve years yet! We aint no psychic connection, you gotta be dead to talk to the dead!"  
"Am I not?" Genma raised an eyebrow.  
"No sir, you're still alive, for the moment, you and twenty six others were in the vicinity of what might have been a terrorist attack, you inhaled a small amount of some sort of unknown chemical."  
"And the others?" Genma asked.  
"All dead except for one, a man found nearby you, he's stable too but you're the only one to regain consciousness." Brunette said calmly.  
"Tell me nurse . . . the other survivor . . . is his name, Tendo?" Genma asked.  
"No. Not according to his identification, sir, I'm sorry." The blonde nurse said with a frown.  
Soun was . . . dead?  
That had to be a mistake! What calamity could befall them that would spare Genma Saotome but not his comrade, his friend Soun Tendo?  
Though he felt tears at the edge of his eyes, Saotome clenched his fists, he would stand firm, and shed no tears, after all they'd been through, Tendo deserved that much respect at least.  
No. Tendo deserved more. 'I swear to you, my fallen friend, I will watch over and protect your daughters as if they were my own, and I swear I wont throw them into any pits full of hungry cats, or barter their hands in marriage for free dinners. And I'll make sure Ranma fixes the wall, I know you would have wanted it that way. And by my honor, I will see the Koruda School of Combat smashed so that the Tendo Training Hall can stand triumphant, I'll do whatever it takes!' Genma thought, fists clenched in silent proclamation to the heavens, where he hoped his friend looked down on him in satisfaction.  
"The other survivor is still unconscious, he's in that bed right across from you, perhaps you can recognize him, does the name 'Soun Train' mean anything to you?" Brunette offered.  
Genma looked over to see none other than Soun Tendo lying unconscious, attached to life support machines. He leapt out of bed, stomped over to his 'fallen' comrade, grabbed him by the collar and shook him violently. "Wake up, you! I cant believe you actually carry your fake I.D. in lieu of your real one, you nearly gave me a heart attack you freak!"  
"D-don't do that!" Blonde cried.  
"We're gonna have another fatality on our hands! We don't get paid extra for those, y'know!" Brunette cried.  
"Wake up you lazy toad! We've got a mission, remember? Recruit the fighters to combat the school of . . . well, combat! We're not going to let this Koruda assassination attempt stop us!"  
"Eh? 'Sass'nation? Karooda?" Soun blinked a few times, then opened his eyes fully, he grabbed Genma by the arms, "Assassination? The Koruda School of Combat will suffer!"  
"Holy heck, a full recovery?" Blonde nurse gasped.  
"Off to glory!" Genma cried.  
"To victory!" Tendo agreed, the two men headed for the hospital door, ready to bolt so as to avoid the no doubt expensive medical bill, when both fell to their feet, unable to continue moving.  
"Sirs, I don't suggest you try to move, we're going to have to hold you here for tonight so you can recover, besides we need to run tests to see what happened to you!" Blonde said.  
"Besides, you need the doctor's permission before you an leave, and he's not here." Brunette scoffed. She turned to the blonde, "The new girl cant be taking this long, she looked like such a feather weight . . . do you suppose he's seeing Tanba again?"  
"I really don't want to know." Blonde said crossly, "I don't care, and I don't know why you do."  
"It's unprofessional!" Brunette complained.  
"So is talking about it in front of our patients."  
"We should set up some sort of warning system for all the new nurses, look out, the doctor wants to do you in a supply closet!" Brunette continued.  
"Excuse me–" Genma piped up, but they ignored him.  
"But no one warned me, and a lot of the new girls are after him anyway for his looks and his cash. Let them get popped and dropped, if anyone asks we'll call it a hazing ritual." Blonde scoffed.  
"Look, this is fascinating but–"  
"Wait a minute, Tanba isn't working today!" Blonde said, punching her fist into her palm.  
"Not at the hospital you mean." Brunette giggled, and Blonde joined in.  
"I'm really sorry," Genma tried again, but again they cut him off.  
"So that new girl must be really good." Blonde said.  
"Tramp. Hey, couldn't we use a 'cost of living' raise?" Brunette asked, Blonde made a face.  
"My student loans are all paid, I wont even consider it!" Blonde protested.  
"Ladies!" Genma shouted!  
"Yes, what can we do for you?" Blonde asked with a raised eyebrow.  
"SHUT UP!" The bald martial artist shouted even louder.  
"Er–I think what he means," Soun said, "is that, as fascinating as your personal lives are, this scene has gone on entirely too long without advancing the plot, though we now know a great deal about you two–aside from your actual names–and the conditions you work in, your feelings for your co-workers and the like, in truth no one cares. Also we'd like to make a phone call to our chillens, so as to get back to the problems at hand, namely our problems, because–and I mean no offense by saying this–but you two just aren't that important."  
"Oh pshaw, why didn't you just say so earlier?" Blonde said, handing Soun a telephone.  
Genma slammed his head against a wall to induce an involuntary sleep.  
  
"Hmm . . . I wonder where Nabiki has gone to." Akane said.  
"Hmm . . . I don't care." Ranma said as he rummaged through the refrigerator.  
"I think we're alone Ranma!" Akane gasped.  
"So what?" Ranma scoffed.  
"Well . . . we could do what other couples do . . . when they're alone." Akane said shyly.  
"All right!" Ranma cried in triumph as he found one of his dad's half-finished binto boxes (a rare find indeed) "What's that Akane?" he asked as he popped a shrimp into his mouth.  
"Nothing." Akane said frostily.  
'What'd I do now?' Ranma wondered. "Did you want the shrimp or somethin'?" He asked.  
"No Ranma . . . no I didn't." Akane sighed.  
"Oh good, 'cause this's all mine!" Ranma chuckled. Just then the phone rang, Akane answered it.  
"Hello? Yes? Yes? Yes? Yes. Yes? Yes! What? Yes. Yes. No! No! No! Yes. Okay, I love, bye, bye!" She hung up. "That was my dad, he wants us to track down Shampoo, Ukyo, Mousse and Ryoga to enlist their help for the martial arts tournament, then bring them to the hospital, where he is for some reason."  
"Oh great." Ranma sighed. "Ryoga and Nabiki are gone, they could be in Hokkaido for all we know."  
"Well don't worry about them, the rest shouldn't take too long, you can go get Ukyo, and I'll go get Shampoo and Mousse, we'll meet back here and then head out together to find Ryoga." Akane said simply.  
'I love it when she makes plans that ruin my day . . . oh wait, I don't love that! I hate it!' Ranma thought. "You go ahead, I want to finish this." Ranma said, Akane scoffed and left mumbling to herself.  
Ranma finished the binto, watched a quick TV show, then got up to leave, just as he reached the door, the door bell rang.  
'Akane?' he wondered. He reached for the door when the bell rang again. 'Yoshimi?' He thought. The bell rang twice more.  
"It's Lotion!" He gasped in horror, the bell rang a few more times.  
"Open up, please! It's raining hard!"  
'Okay, not Lotion, unless llamas can talk." Ranma said, reassured, he opened the door, and was very surprised at who he saw.  
  
The boat ride had been wonderful, and the picnic–which was wonderfully extravagant–was quite good too, though it had started to rain, they were under the partial protection of a large tree, and Kuno's ninja butler had a large sun umbrella ready at the first sign of trouble.  
Overall it was a nice afternoon, really she was wondering why they hadn't done this sooner.  
"Those earrings truly do look marvelous on you." Kuno said longingly.  
"How would you know? I haven't put them on."  
"I am envisioning it. And you look lovely." He said. "You are the east, and you are the sun, for yours is a beauty incomparable."  
"Does your jaw ever stop moving?" Nabiki asked neutrally, she was rather enjoying the compliments, though of course she was ever suspicious of what could cause this change in Kuno.  
"For you, Nabiki Tendo I would move the stars, or stop them from moving, I would stop the earth from spinning to make this day last forever, so that I might never have to return you to the lost boy."  
Nabiki shook her head slowly. "You know bringing him up, reminding me that I'm engaged to him does not help you at all, you're losing points."  
"How many do I have left?" Kuno asked.  
"Hmm . . ." Nabiki did some mental math. "About sixty four."  
"Out of one hundred?" Kuno chuckled. "It may be a D, but it is a passing grade none the less."  
"Well I'm not sure what that's even supposed to mean, but I'm sure it was very romantic, so sixty five." Nabiki said with a smile.  
Nothing in life had to be complicated, people chose whether or not to make it that way. This situation could have been a complicated one, here she, Nabiki Tendo, was on a date with a boy she'd never really had any overpowering romantic feelings for, enjoying herself. True she was getting fabulous rewards out of it, but the fact was she now had the earrings in her pocket, and she was still there with Kuno, enjoying his company.  
But did that mean she loved Ryoga any less? Not at all.  
She didn't love Kuno it was just a first date, and one she'd been bribed into coming on. But she loved his money, and for the moment she just happened to enjoy his company. Ryoga would understand if she ever chose to tell him, and if he didn't, big deal, she was the one in control of the relationship, not him.  
So in summary, she got neat stuff, got a cure for her boredom that didn't involve watching Ranma suffer painful beatings from Akane–as fun as that was–and best of all, got to be the center of attention as the entire populace of Nerima it seem, watched the rich young man court this girl who, they probably thought, looked as poor as a pauper. There was no down side she could see. Not yet anyway.  
"Eh Master Kuno," ninja butler Sasuke piped up, "I hate to interrupt, but the rain wont let up, and you do have another appointment, if you remember."  
"Sasuke," Kuno said with an annoyed glance, "I am a little busy, whatever my other engagement is, cancel it!"  
"That is . . . uh . . . impossible. Remember sir, you had the day planned out?"  
"To hades with these plans you speak of!" Kuno cried.  
"No, that's all right." Nabiki said, "I should get home too."  
"Then we will take you there right away!" Kuno said.  
"Uh, no, I don't really think that rickshaw was built for two passengers." Nabiki said, remembering the uncomfortable–for her at least–ride in the ninja-powered cart. "I'll just walk home."  
"Nonsense!" Kuno cried, "Not without an umbrella at least, if you caught a cold, we might never go on another date. Sasuke! Sasuke!!"  
"I'm right here Master Kuno." The little man said.  
"Go buy Nabiki Tendo an umbrella. A nice one, mind you." He looked at Nabiki, "Any color preferences?"  
"Green?" Nabiki offered.  
"A green one." Kuno nodded to Sasuke, he set off to accomplish the task.  
"Stay here with me until he gets back," Kuno said simply, "it should not take him more than a minute, but a minute with you is superior to any amount of time spent apart . . ."  
"Enough," Nabiki sighed halfheartedly, "I am engaged, you know."  
"Tell me . . . at the risk of losing points, Nabiki Tendo . . . does he ever tell you that he loves you?"  
"Sure."  
"Does he look you in the eyes?"  
"Uh . . .yeah." Nabiki said, raising an eyebrow at Kuno. "Where are you going with this?"  
"Does he take you in his arms, and kiss you with all the passion of his being?"  
"Well, if that sentence made any sort of sense–" She was cut off when Kuno took her in his arms and pushed his lips against hers, her eyes shot open in surprise but he held her in place as if his arms had become stone. Slowly she allowed her eyes to close, as she became lost in the kiss, her heart pounding in her chest, and then suddenly it ended.  
"I'm back Master Kuno!" Sasuke cried, he was soaking wet, but he had a brand new umbrella in his hands.  
Kuno looked up with only half the frustration Nabiki was feeling. "You are as prompt as ever, Sasuke." He said through gritted teeth.  
"Thank you, Master Kuno." The ninja said happily. "I have the umbrella." He added, offering it to Nabiki in an almost solemn manner.  
"So I see." Nabiki said with a forced smile. "It's lovely, thank you."  
"We shall have to do this again, Nabiki Tendo." Kuno said.  
"Absolutely." Nabiki said without thinking.  
"Until next time . . ." Kuno said  
"Mm-hmm." Nabiki nodded, deciding it would be best if she just left.  
  
Kuno sat impatiently in the ninja-powered-vehicle.  
Yoshimi had offered him sound advice, and he was glad he'd taken it, he did not presume to understand her plan, he certainly did not want to try.  
But curse that girl, what he wouldn't give for just five minutes more!  
"Blue Thunder reporting," he said crossly, "target is proceeding home through sector nine, as planned."  
"Good work, Blue Thunder," Yoshimi said, "You know what to do next."  
"Yes." Kuno said.  
"Well then do it. And again, good work." Yoshimi said, she sounded ecstatic, "I love it when a plan comes together!"  
  
To Be Continued . . .  
  
Next Time: Next time Akane confronts Cologne when she learns that Mousse and Shampoo have gone, Nabiki gets talked into going out with Kinnosuke, Yoshimi and her evil will be given a new weapon with which to tempt Ryoga, Ushio will attempt to understand how his students could have failed, Ryoga finally reads Lo-Chun's letter and finds himself completely confused, Kasumi might know more about Nabiki's daily activities than she's letting on and . . . uh . . . just read it! 


	7. Adult Decisions 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½, Charlotte's Web, or any characters or places from either. The Children's book author Ivona Tinkle and environmentalist Seymour Butts mentioned in this story are not real people, they are fictional, they do not exist. Any similarity to real persons is coincidental and unintentional.  
  
Charlotte's Sequel  
Chapter VII  
Adult Decisions . . . (part 2)  
  
"What do you mean, 'gone'?"Akane demanded.  
Cologne shrugged. "They are some place that is not here." She offered.  
"But where?" Akane protested, "I have something very important I need to see them about."  
"They are attending to very important matters, had you not distracted son-in-law from reading my letter perhaps they would still be here to assist you with your problem."  
"So they're after Lotion?" Akane scoffed.  
"Perhaps." Cologne shrugged.  
"Well I want you to know what I think,"  
"I wont expend the necessary energy to stop you." Cologne shrugged.  
"Yeah? Well I say it's wrong for you to try to force her to marry someone she doesn't like, someone who beats up on her yet, and it's even worse if you think you can send Mousse and Shampoo to drag her back here."  
Cologne shrugged again. "Your opinion is noted. But this matter does not concern you, the moment Lotion left your property you lost all say, this has become a tribal matter, it will be settled by those of our village."  
Akane scoffed in disgust and decided to see if she could catch Ranma at Ukyo's place. But Cologne stopped her first.  
"Akane Tendo, heed my warnings. Do not invoke my wrath by getting involved in this matter . . . for your own safety. And see to it that Son-in-law does not get involved either."  
"Ranma? Involved? Two words that don't belong in the same sentence unless something's been broken and shoved under the rug. Hey, are you threatening me?" Akane asked, turning around.  
"If that is what it takes." Cologne nodded. "I act with nothing but good intentions."  
"Then let Lotion go so I can ask Mousse and Shampoo to help me instead." Akane offered.  
"This is no matter of a runaway bride. Lo-Chun has caused a problem and she has fled in hopes that Son-in-law and Ryoga will simply handle it for her, which is exactly what will end up happening if Shampoo cannot bring her back soon enough."  
"What about Mousse?" Akane asked.  
"In speaking the name Sun Set, Han has perhaps accidentally given us a mighty clue as to her final destination, as for Mousse, well he has gone ahead, to Lo-Chun's suspected destination. There, with luck, he will stop her should she elude or otherwise subdue Shampoo. And if he fails Ranma and Ryoga will be our only hope, and sadly I fear by involving themselves they will be bringing about their own demise."  
"What do you mean?" Akane asked.  
"Oh nothing. I made all that up. I sent Shampoo out to get a news paper and Mousse tagged along. As for the annoying assassin . . . well I just don't care where she is." Cologne chuckled.  
Akane shook her head. "Uh . . . tell Mousse and Shampoo that Ranma and I need to talk to them as soon as possible . . . I guess . . ." she said and walked out of the cat café, completely confused.  
  
Nabiki walked home in the pouring rain, well protected by her new umbrella.  
She wondered if Ryoga was safe out of the rain, or if he'd been caught off guard and transformed into his cold-water-induced alter-ego, P-Chan.  
She smiled at the crazy memories she had of that tiny piglet, P-Chan was such a source of amusement she wondered if she even wanted him to be turned back to normal.  
She started whistling when suddenly an attractive young man popped out of nowhere! He was about her age, bore a slight resemblance to Kuno, and was dressed rather sharply. There was only one man this could be.  
"Kinnosuke." Nabiki nodded, quickening her pace.  
"Hey Tendo–er Nabiki–er Nabiki Tendo . . . uh . . . Nabi-chan!"  
"What?"  
"So anyway, I hear you just got back into town, where have you been?"  
"All over." Nabiki said shortly, still walking away.  
"Hey, Nabi-chan, look I know we were rivals, but that was then, this is now, we were just kids back then, right?"  
"What?" Nabiki demanded.  
"What I'm trying to say is . . . well, why don't we go celebrate our success? I think that our rivalry made us both stronger."  
"I wouldn't even call us rivals, you're just a pretender." Nabiki said coldly.  
"Hey now, hear me out, I just want to have dinner with you, that's all."  
'What is with the men in this town today?' Nabiki wondered. 'Oh no! What if Mikado shows up next?' She thought in horror, remembering her date with the kinky skater with no shortage  
"I'll pay," Kinnosuke tired, "in fact I'll give you the money up front, so you can use it to pay even if my instincts tell me to run for it."  
That got Nabiki's attention, a scheme had formed in her mind. "Really? Well why didn't you say so? Sure, I'll have dinner with you. Where at?"  
"Oh don't worry, I'll come get you." Kinnosuke said with a grin.  
"No . . . just tell me where to meet you." Nabiki said.  
"Why cant I come get you?" Kinnosuke frowned.  
"Because Ryoga might not understand the situation." Nabiki said honestly.  
"Who is Ryoga, again?" Kinnosuke asked. "I know it's not your sister . . ."  
"Ryoga is . . . my pet."  
Nabiki could have swore she then heard a faint 'PET!? PET!!' from somewhere, and Kinnosuke grimaced and put his hand over his left ear, but he recovered quickly. "You've a pet?" He asked.  
"Yeah, that little pig, you remember him."  
"Hmm . . . wasn't that your little sister's pig, P-Chan?"  
"I am surprised you remember that." Nabiki said.  
"Well when it comes to you, I never forget anything." Kinnosuke chuckled.  
"Oh yeah? How many sisters do I have? Name them!." Nabiki said.  
"Uh . . . you have two sisters. Akane and Kasuki–er Kasumi." Kinnosuke said, rubbing his ear.  
"When and where did we first meet?" Nabiki asked.  
"Before we were born, in heaven, because baby you're a fallen angel!" Kinnosuke said with a grin that seemed to suggest that he was quite pleased with himself.  
"Uh-huh . . . well whatever. I'm still waiting for you to tell me where to meet you." Nabiki pointed out.  
"Oh right. Well how's about the Cat Café, eh?"  
"Ugh! No thanks, I cant stand the delivery girl, and I have some bad blood with the old ghoul that runs that place." Nabiki shuddered.  
"Well then that's perfect!" Kinnosuke said. "What better way to show this city that we are still the best, than to go there, order as much as we can eat and more, and then get out without paying the bill?"  
"Many reasons." Nabiki said. "One, if Cologne were determined to catch us, we wouldn't make it past the front door, or any other exit. Two, she knows where I live. Three, she probably knows where you live. Four, I think those wrinkles give her strange powers, and five, I thought you said you were going to pay for everything."  
"Oh-ho-ho-ho. So the great Nabiki Tendo has lost her nerve? Given up on the fight, have you?"  
"Yeah, guess so." Nabiki scoffed and turned to leave.  
"N-no wait, don't go! We'll go someplace else, please, Nabi-chan I really want this night to work . . . you have no idea how much is riding on it."  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Nabiki demanded.  
"Millions of billions of trillions of yen . . . er . . . is not enough to keep me from you tonight, so I'll go to any place you like if it means I can be graced by your company."  
'I need to introduce Ryoga to these guys, he could learn so much from them.' Nabiki decided. "Against all my better judgement . . . fine, meet me outside of Burger Thing at seven. Give me the money now, I wont hear any 'I forgot my wallet' lines."  
"Uh, right, here." Kinnosuke chuckled, giving her a fair amount of money.  
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. He was so willing to give her this money . . . her trained eye revealed that it was not a fake . . . something was not right.  
  
'Heeheehee, doesn't she feel like a prostitute getting paid to go out on a date? Oh well, that unworthy woman will never have my Ryoga!' Yoshimi giggled to herself. 'Everything is going swimmingly!'  
She took a deep breath. This Nabiki was renown in this area, a real evil super genius with a love of money to perhaps even rival Yoshimi's love for Ryoga . . . and yet she played right into Yoshimi's hands at every turn.  
Yoshimi knew she should expect something by way of counter attack sooner or later, she'd taken steps to keep herself free of blame should Nabiki discover that someone had set these boys after her.  
If all went according to plan Yoshimi would have Ryoga all to herself, this fool girl would be in college dealing with excessive drinking and unplanned pregnancy while Yoshimi toured the globe with her love in the most romantic of fashions.  
She sighed longingly as she fantasized about it, she almost missed seeing Ranma Saotome and some guy running towards the hospital. The man was familiar, Yoshimi had seen him before . . . but where?  
  
Ushio sighed unhappily. "So you challenged them to a grand tournament?"  
"I would not use the word 'challenged', actually . . ." Anzu trailed off.  
When it seemed clear that she wold not continue, Tomoko took up the slack, "We took those bozos on chief, and they got lucky. I don't know about the others, but I was certainly hindered by the suit, the helmet dulled my senses, I had no peripheral vision, I know I, and the rest of us can perform better on our home turf, if this tournament ever even occurs. They wanted a big tourney here at our place, but they don't even know where our dojo is."  
"Hmm . . . so in other words, you got beaten, and you accepted their offer of a rematch, setting a place that you knew they would never find, like a coward trying to avoid risking defeat a second time?"  
"Uh . . ." Tomoko trailed off. "Anzu did all the talking!" She cried, pointing an accusing finger.  
Ushio turned to his daughter and threw his arms around her. "I have nothing more to teach you!" He cried.  
"So we don't have to fight them?" Anzu asked.  
"Oh of course you do! And you'll win, because I'm going to see to it that they get here! I want my students to test themselves against the best and brightest Tendo has to offer, don't worry, I have complete confidence in you all!" He said, "but out of curiosity, who was it that defeated you?"  
"What?" Anzu asked.  
"Well you said one of them came in from behind and got you all, who was it?"  
"Uh . . . I don't know." Anzu admitted.  
Ushio shook his head, and whipped out a photo album entitled "Memories" but the word "Memories" was crossed out several times with a black permanent ink pen, and beneath it in messy hand writing was "Enemies!" learning to write "Enemies" in English had taken five years, but it had been worth it, Ushio felt more cultured now.  
"Let's see . . ." Ushio said, "Tendo . . . Tendo . . . aha, here we are, chapter three." He opened the book to a chapter filled with pictures of Tendo, his family and everyone they dealt with. "Point him out." He said.  
"Right-oh. Uh . . . why?" Anzu asked.  
"So I know which one of them it was." Ushio said simply.  
"Oh okay . . . it was this one, with the bandanna . . . I'm pretty sure." Anzu said.  
"Ah. Ryoga Hibiki, skill rating B, engaged to Tendo's second daughter, Nabiki Tendo, and none too friendly with Tendo's other future son-in-law, and heir to the school, Ranma Saotome." Ushio nodded knowingly. "I thought it would be that Saotome boy, but Hibiki is a tough one too, especially if he managed to catch you by surprise. Well, I was just curious, you can go now." He said, dismissing them.  
They left, he leaned back in his chair and yawned. "Ryoga Hibiki . . ." he whispered, "Can he really be so strong?" He updated the file by erasing the B and writing A. "There, that should keep me from making the same mistakes! Now we are invincible!"  
A long, slender arm extended from behind Ushio, and grabbed the book. "You've cataloged the entire household quite well, Koruda. This will help me greatly."  
Ushio shook his head and laughed, "Now, now, this doesn't concern you, Jun. It's just a friendly rivalry between schools, I don't need any of them killed."  
"You don't." The assassin agreed and examined two of the files. "Ranma and Ryoga . . ."  
  
Ryoga closed his eyes for a moment, sitting near the koi pond in the Tendo back yard, where Ukyo had left him. His curiosity was starting to get the better of him.  
What had Lotion written?  
He reached into his pocket and pulled her letter out. He opened the envelope, and removed her letter. It was very poorly written, and she'd gotten his name wrong to boot.  
  
Ryouga, this is H L-C, that stands of Han Lo-Chun, not hand lotion! I have something important to tell you . . . if I could only find the words . . . I love you! I LovE you! I cannot live another day without you . . . well that is not true, every word of that was a lie, I don't love you, but I could not resist. Sadly I am not there to see your face. I suppose this joke was not too well thought out. And there is only so much room on this paper . . . why did I use a pen? Oh this is a pencil . . . I can erase everything . . . but I am so lazy! Well I had something important to tell you, it was a matter of life or death . . . but . . . I forget. I think you are in danger though, it's my fault but I don't remember what I did . . . uh . . . I saw this movie once, it was spooky beyond belief, it involved a corn field and what I think were giant lizards, and some lady who got cut in half--which was rather funny--telling some guy to tell some other guy to swing away, which as it turns out meant that he hit glasses with a rugby bat to kill an evil lizard thing, I guess it was vulnerable to glass shards. That's got nothing to do with your dire situation, but . . . no wait, that makes me sound stupid and makes it seem like I wasted more paper . . . holy fruits I just wasted more paper writing about . . . uh . . . whatever I wrote about. Curses! Stop writing with the pen and start talking in your head . . . . . . . okay, five minutes have passed, ignore those blood stains on the paper, my head started to hurt, and my nose started to bleed when I tried to think quietly. Uh . . . so . . . swing away Rioga! Swing away! Wait! Curses it that wasn't what I wanted to say! Seek the moose, do not let him eat you, the lying scum will tell you one moment that he's got an important secret, the next he's chewing on your head and you're screaming for air but you cant get free and everyone else is laughing at you because they're heartless scum . . . you know what . . . do not seek the moose. When a crazy guy shows up seeking vengeance, just kill him for me . . . hmm . . . maybe 'swing away' is not such a bad thing to tell you. But don't tell Nabiki it was my fault or she'll . . . hurt me. I probably wont ever come back 'cause you'll all be dead, but hey, I like to keep my options open. Uh . . . I probably Shouldn't have said that last part. Uh . . . well anyway I know deep down you're just like me, but if you really want to prove otherwise, when the time comes for your test fail it miserably, Reogha. Oh yes, that's right, I wanted to warn you about the . . . well we've run out of room, sorry! Luv H L-C   
  
Now his curiosity was overwhelming. What the devil was she talking about? What was she ever talking about? The woman was either a super genius or a raving lunatic. Maybe a super lunatic or a raving genius. Maybe a genius raving super lunatic.  
He sighed and shoved it back into his pocket. He would never kill anyone without a reason, he'd never kill in cold blood . . . he considered his plans to eventually slaughter Ranma to be a warm blooded killing, very different indeed.  
Lotion was wrong, he wasn't like her. He wasn't an assassin, or a murderer, and he never would be.  
He wasn't like her . . .  
Not at all . . .  
So why did he have to keep telling himself this?  
An enemy could be stopped without resorting to murder, as long as Ryoga recognized that, Lotion's message was worthless. He tore it up, to prove that he didn't need her insane advice.  
  
Yoshimi looked over Gosunkugi's photographs. "This is excellent, really." She said. "Certainly worth ten times our bargained price."  
"Does that mean you're going to pay me ten time the bargained price?" The skinny kid with bags under his eyes asked.  
Yoshimi thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, certainly." She said, after all she could afford it. She looked at the pictures he'd taken of Nabiki kissing Kuno. She hadn't even expected Kuno to kiss her! That her little photographer had caught the promiscuous wench on film made the day feel good.  
"I have everything I need, once Nabiki leaves tonight I spring my trap, and show these to Ryoga!"  
"And what about me?" Kinnosuke asked.  
"What do you mean?" Yoshimi frowned.  
"Well, I was supposed to show Nabiki pictures of Ryoga cheating on her with you, but all these look completely worthless. In the ones where he is with you, it's obvious he isnt happy to be there, and the ones where he's with other girl there's no romance lost between them."  
"You really think so?" Yoshimi asked hopefully.  
"Uh . . . yeah, it's pretty obvious." Kinnosuke said.  
"Well hopefully Nabiki wont care. Besides, she doesn't matter, Ryoga does and as long as I can convince him you can do whatever you like to Nabiki. Drug her for all I care." Yoshimi shrugged.  
"What about this career she told me about?" Kuno asked. "She said she wouldn't be going to college, this defeats phase three of our plan."  
"No it doesn't, I have connections everywhere, I can make her go where I want her to go . . . if only I could figure out what this job of hers is. I'm clueless, my spy network has turned up nothing! But once I know, I'll promptly have that fall out from under her, then offer her a scholarship to you know where."  
"Ingenious." Kuno sighed.  
"Indeed." Kinnosuke nodded.  
"What about me?" Gosunkugi asked.  
"You're not old enough for college, so you needn't come."  
"Oh good." The voodoo fool sighed in relief.  
"But you two will," Yoshimi continued, referring to Kuno and Kinnosuke, "and she will forget all about Ryoga! I believe it's time for us all to share a maniacal laugh now."  
"BWA-HA-HA-HA!" The four laughed together.  
"Ah, very good." Yoshimi said. "Now, I am off to the Tendo home, to wait until Nabiki leaves so I can spring my trap on Ryoga!"  
"And I'll wait for her at this Burger Thing." Kinnosuke nodded.  
"And I'll . . . well I believe I'll go home." Gosunkugi said, "Pleasure working with all of you."  
Kuno however said absolutely nothing.  
  
Nabiki looked at her watch, wondering if it was normal for an hour to pass like a year. It wasn't that she was eager to see Kinnosuke, she simply wanted to get it over with, her boss should have shown up by now, and she wanted to be here when he arrived.  
Kasumi just wouldn't understand, and Ryoga might get homicidal.  
"Is there anything to watch, besides Anime?" Nabiki complained.  
"No." Kasumi sighed.  
"I've seen too much Anime for one day! What happened to the shows with real actors?"  
"Their popularity dropped when anime directors discovered a loop hole in the law that allowed them to legally show underage cartoon women having sex with giant grotesque demons, provided their 'parts' were too covered in their own blood to be properly identified and the show received a Y-7 rating. For some reason it caught on." Kasumi said.  
"Yeah, well . . . it's stupid." Nabiki spat.  
"The only other thing on is the news."  
"I'll take that." Nabiki said.  
Kasumi shrugged and turned the channel.  
Down town is in chaos, hours after a suspected terrorist bombing, and uptown is not much better after a suspected terrorist poison gas attack, both attacks claimed dozens of lives, including children's author Ivona Tinkle, and environmentalist founder of "Free the Trouser Snakes" movement, a mister Seymour Butts.  
"Oh those poor snakes! Now they'll never be free!" Kasumi gasped.  
Nabiki gave her sister a concerned look. "Do you know what trouser snakes are?"  
"No. But all of mother nature's creatures deserve freedom, don't they?"  
"Well uh . . . sure." Nabiki frowned.  
"What is a trouser snake?" Ryoga asked.  
"You're too young to need to know that." Nabiki said simply.  
With down town, and up town in chaos, midtown is in terror, and preparing for all out crisis by looting toilet paper from any store not smart enough to burn it all, in the cases of the stores wise enough to burn their toilet paper supplies, people have resorted to stealing candy bars simply because they refuse to be denied. We're now in front of the local Rifle and Bomb shop, which exploded after it's owner tried to follow suit and burn his inventory.  
"What a world we live in." Kasumi sighed.  
"Yeah, everyone's an idiot." Nabiki scoffed.  
They say that a hero can save us, but we cant stand here and wait.  
"Is she going to start singing?" Nabiki demanded. "Go back to the cartoons!"  
Ironically while the bombing and the gas killed only thirty six people, due to the rioting, over two hundred have died since then. There are only two known survivors of the initial terrorist attacks, and they are being held in the F City Hospital, their names are not yet to be released, they are however expected to make a full recovery.  
"Do you think we're in any danger?" Kasumi asked.  
"No." Nabiki said simply.  
"Well . . . what about Father, Akane, Ranma, Mr. Saotome, and . . . well we haven't seen Happosai since that whole sheep incident."  
"Sheep incident?"  
"Never you mind." Kasumi smiled. "However, I am concerned."  
"Don't be." Nabiki said with confidence, "Ranma and Akane don't frequent bars, and daddy was supposed to be getting Ukyo, Shampoo and Mousse to fight for us in the tournament, he wouldn't have had time for a drink."  
"What about Lotion?" Kasumi asked.  
"Too incompetent to plant a bomb." Nabiki shrugged.  
"No, what if she was in the building?"  
"Are you kidding? We're not that lucky." Ryoga sighed.  
"This is a sick, dangerous world we live in." Kasumi whispered. "I certainly hope everyone returns safely tonight."  
"Hey, maybe Yoshimi got blown up." Nabiki said, trying to look on the bright side.  
"I doubt it." Ryoga frowned. "They'd have added "Also, insane billionaire's daughter, Yoshimi Harume, age seventeen and three quarters was killed in the explosion."  
"Hmm . . . well, so much for dreams." Nabiki sighed.  
  
Soun looked at the four people inside the hospital room, aside from himself and Genma. He smiled. "Akane, Ranma! And you've got Ukyo! How wonderful! And what's this? You even brought . . . eh . . . I know I've seen you before . . ."  
"I am Yutaro." The striking young man said, running his fingers through his hair.  
"Right . . . who the heck?"  
"You visited my hotel, I swam around and beat the stuffings out of you, you thought I was a monster."  
"Oh the hot springs guy." Soun nodded.  
"How's showbiz treating you?" Akane asked.  
"Very well. Why, my face alone sells movie tickets. Yes, I am a movie star now."  
"From commercials to movies eh? What movies have you been in?" Soun asked, knowing he'd seen the boy in some movie, he just couldn't remember which.  
"Well I co-starred in "Silent Filler", I was the star of "Deep Thrusts" and "Ass Meats"  
"So . . . why are you here?" Soun asked, certain he'd seen all three of those movies, but unable to recall any details by way of story or plot.  
"Well I was working on my movie set in Europe, I finally got to write and direct my own film!"  
"Oh? What's it about?" Soun asked.  
"Well, I cant say, that would ruin the surprise, I will tell you it will either be called 'D-Day Bombshells' or 'Ambushed Behind Enemy Blinds'."  
"Ah, a war movie, eh?" Soun nodded sagely.  
"Seemingly." Yutaro chuckled. Ranma started to giggle.  
"Well what brings you to Nerima?" Akane asked.  
"Ooh! Ooh! I know! He told me!" Ranma said, jumping up and down. Akane whacked him on the head.  
"Let Yutaro tell us!" She commanded.  
Yutaro ran his fingers through his hair again. "I met a young woman in Europe, a member of your family if I remember correctly. Nabiki Tendo, your . . . sister? Daughter? Wife?"  
"Daughter." Soun nodded.  
"Sister." Akane nodded.  
"Ex-Fiancee." Ranma nodded.  
"Yes, well anyway once I saw her I knew she was the perfect spunky heroin, so I asked her to play the role. She slapped me, but I assured her that once this movie was finished, I would send her name to all my contacts, in fact just seeing her picture all three of the men I worked under before want her for their new movies, she'll be almost as rich as I've become. Hers is a talent that belongs in this industry, and to think, I'm the one who found her . . ." Yutaro said.  
"How do you know she's talented?" Ukyo asked.  
"I asked him that! He told me! I know! I know!" Ranma said, jumping up and down, looking really pleased with himself.  
"Let him tell us!" Akane cried, whacking Ranma with Ukyo's spatula.  
"Hey!" Ukyo protested.  
"Well, you see all you need to do is look at a girl like Nabiki to know she'll make a fortune in the film industry."  
"You think Biki has what it takes to be a movie star?" Ukyo asked.  
"Not just any kind of star!" Ranma giggled. That was getting rather annoying.  
"She's a tough one too, most women turn to jelly at the mere thought of staring with me, and until meeting her I had never met a woman who wasn't thrilled at the idea of becoming a movie star, but she wanted to be paid, can you believe it? Apparently it's common practice to pay the lead actress a third of the movie's overall budget, and bonuses for good behavior!"  
"Now that sounds like Nabiki." Akane sighed.  
"So she's going to be an actress? Well why all the secrecy? This is great news, I don't see why she wouldn't want to brag about it endlessly!" Soun said, but even as he spoke he realized why she'd been so dodgy, and why now Ranma was so excited. "Eh . . . it's going to be a pornographic movie, isnt it?" He asked dejectedly.  
"Dad!" Akane protested.  
"Would that be a problem?" Yutaro asked with concern.  
Soun sighed, Akane's jaw hit the floor, Ranma broke out laughing, Genma choked and even the nurses gasped.  
"You people are her family, but I'm the only one not shocked by this?" Ukyo said with a shrug.  
  
Kuno stood outside the Burger Thing, Kinnosuke was shouting various profanities, but none of them could be properly made out, since his mouth was covered in scotch tape. 'At least,' Kuno thought, 'He can enjoy a free scotch for his troubles.' He looked back to where the other man was tied to a tree. "Sorry about this, but I, Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno do not share my women, though sadly, I am so popular that they must share me. Nabiki Tendo will be mine, your services are no longer required."  
"Mckmoomoomuermcker!" Kinnosuke grunted.  
"Now there is no need to bring our mothers into this." Kuno said simply. "I'll release you after Nabiki Tendo and I have completed our date." He looked out at the stars. "Come to me, my angel, my heart yearns for our next kiss!"  
  
It was starting to rain, and Yoshimi was freezing. She was hiding in the bushes outside the Tendo home, she hadn't wanted to wait in her limousine, since that'd be too conspicuous. "That three t-timing no good little . . . she's l-late for her date with Kinnosuke! I c-cant just sit out here all n-night! Ha-choo! What is that girl doing in there? It's almost midnight, is she going or not?!" She was starting to get drowsy! But she would persevere, for Ryoga's sake!  
  
Nabiki looked out of a rain soaked window, very curious as to where everyone had gone to.   
She had this feeling of impending doom, as if forces in the universe were working even now to see that she finally got what was coming to her. She didn't really believe in Karma, so it had to be something else.  
She sighed, and wondered what she should do.  
"Kasumi." She said at last, turning to her older sister. "Do you think it's okay for a girl to see more than one guy at a time?"  
"Hmm?"  
That had just slipped out. But what the heck? There was nothing else to talk about. "Well . . . uh . . . it's just . . . I was thinking about uh . . . Nodoka! Yeah, Nodoka gets on my nerves, being with dad and Mr. Saotome at the same time, doesn't it make you angry too?"  
"Well . . . not everyone is the same." Kasumi said thoughtfully. "Some people are meant to find one person, and be with that one person forever. Maybe you and Ryoga are like that, and maybe that's how Nodoka used to be. But then there are the people for whom a permanent partner is more of a permanent bother, people who would prefer a series of short, passionate relationships as opposed to a longer one, moving on when the passion starts to burn out, maybe Nodoka is one of those. To be completely honest, I always thought that was how you really were, Nabiki."  
"Uh-huh . . ." Nabiki nodded. "So what made you change your mind?" She asked.  
Kasumi didn't look at her when she said "Who said I did?"  
"Well what about my relationship with Ryoga? That's gotta put me in the first category."  
"You mean the one reliant almost completely on sex? The one that hasn't even gone on for a year yet? That's the one you mean, right?" Kasumi raised an eyebrow.  
Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "So what you're saying is you think I'd cheat on Ryoga?"  
"I'm saying that people are different. If someone who loved you as much as I do were to see you kissing . . . say . . . Kuno, even though you were engaged to Ryoga, she wouldn't pass judgement. People are different Nabiki, and they have different needs. It is not for you or I to approve or disapprove of Nodoka's actions. Or . . . anyone's actions."  
"Are you trying to tell me something? Because if you are, just say it." Nabiki said crossly.  
"I'm only answering your question." Kasumi said innocently.  
"And what makes you think I'd kiss--no, even be near Kuno?"  
"It was just an example." Kasumi sighed.  
"Good. Because I really do love Ryoga."  
"I'm sure that's true." Kasumi nodded.  
"Good." Nabiki nodded. "Speaking of Ryoga, where is he?"  
"Well he found his way into the dojo, he's been training ever since. He's probably asleep now." Kasumi shrugged.  
  
Ryoga had the dojo all to himself, so he'd decided he might was well practice.  
He went through all of the routines (at least the ones that wouldn't bring the dojo crashing down) a dozen times, but his mind was too clouded. He took a deep breath and sat down. 'Where is everybody?' He wondered.  
"You cant sleep?" Nabiki asked. He turned to see her standing in the doorway, she looked tired.  
"No." He admitted. "Did I wake you?"  
She shrugged. "I'm a grown up now, I can stay up all night. But I came to check on you."  
"You don't have to do that." Ryoga grunted. "I'm fine."  
"I thought you would be. I was just sort of lonely." She said with a shy smile. A face she very rarely wore. "It's almost midnight, you really should get some sleep."  
"I was just about to." Ryoga lied.  
"Good." Nabiki smiled. "Um . . . Ryoga, I wanted you to know . . . uh . . . I love you."  
"I already knew that." He smiled.   
"Well then I want you to remember it. No matter what happens, you're the one I love, all right?" She said, sounding a little uncomfortable.  
He nodded. "I love you too." He said.  
"No matter what happens?" Nabiki asked. "What if I strangle Yoshimi with a shoe lace . . . ?"  
"I'd love you more, and I'd help break you out of prison. I'll never stop loving you, Nabiki. I asked you to marry me, didn't I?" Ryoga shrugged.  
"And what about Yoshimi?"  
"I didn't ask her." He scoffed.  
"But what about her?" Nabiki asked. "She can give you everything, cant she? Anything you want. If someone offered you the world for the mere price of being their husband, would you really refuse for my sake alone?"  
"She cant offer me Nabiki Tendo, now can she? As far as I'm concerned you are the world, you're everything." Ryoga said simply.  
Nabiki smiled wryly. "Nicely said."  
"I thought so." Ryoga nodded. "You want to take a walk?" He asked.  
"What? In the middle of the night? With terrorists running rampant bombing all the good bars?"  
"Well we'll just avoid the bars. Besides, you're scarier than any terrorist around these parts."  
"Well . . . yeah sure, I guess." Nabiki shrugged. "One condition . . ."  
"What's that?"  
"It's raining anyway, so you might as well go as P-Chan!" Nabiki chuckled, splashing him with cold water from a bucket that seemed to just appear in her hands.  
'Why does she do this?' Ryoga wondered.  
  
The rain had stopped, but Yoshimi was still cold. She'd never really been exposed to the elements before, it was a startling new adventure.  
But she saw Nabiki finally leave the house, taking the family guard pig along for protection apparently. Yoshimi noted that the piglet was cute, but not enough to make her expose herself until Nabiki was very far away, after that she wasted no time going to the door, being wet, tired and a little afraid that the stray dog that had made love to the trash can not five minutes ago might return for her.  
She came to the house and knocked three times, Kasumi answered it, looking a little disappointed.  
"Where is Ryoga?" Yoshimi asked.  
"What? He just left with Nabiki, didn't he?" Kasumi sighed.  
"No. She was alone, save for the little black piglet. It was rather cute, but not as cute as Ryoga."  
"Oh don't be silly, that was Ryoga."  
Yoshimi gasped. "How dare you say such things behind my Ryoga's back!"  
Kasumi looked at Yoshimi as if she were insane. "He transforms into a pig when he gets splashed with cold water."  
Now Yoshimi looked at Kasumi because she had to be insane. "I am sorry, I thought you were sober."  
Kasumi's face lit up. "I see. You don't know about the Training Grounds of Accursed Springs."  
"No . . . was it a low budget movie?" Yoshimi asked.  
"Oh no, it's a place. A place where almost all of the most prominent martial artists of this town have gone to train, and one and all have fallen into the pools there."  
"Uh . . . forgive me for being vulgar, but you speak craziness!"  
Yoshimi listened as Kasumi told her the story of Ryoga's curse. It filled her with a lot of things, first it filled her with rage that Ranma would do that to her Ryoga, then it filled her with grief that Ryoga had felt it necessary to hide this from her, then if felt her with disgust because she allowed herself to wonder what it would be like to transform into a man if she were splashed with cold water, and finally it filled her with warmth because the house was well heated.  
"So . . . Ryoga will never be cured?" Yoshimi asked. "This wont just go away after so many days?"  
"I've known Ryoga for almost two years now, and he shows no signs of recovery. He does seem to be coping with it, though."  
"Oh . . . oh I cannot marry a man who turns into a pig when he gets wet . . ." Yoshimi sighed.  
"I thought so." Kasumi nodded. "Best just to find someone else, forget Ryoga. It will be hard at first, but you'll manage."  
Yoshimi shook her head, "Is there no cure?"  
"None, I'm sorry." Kasumi said. "He'd have to get back to the training grounds and find the spring of drowned man, then fall into that, but he, well everyone has tried and failed. Like I said, he's coping with the curse."  
Yoshimi smiled wickedly. "Imagine his gratitude when I find the cure for him! I bet he'd do anything for it!"  
"Of course he would . . . uh . . . oh my." Kasumi sighed.  
Yoshimi laughed, this was perfect! She would show Ryoga the picture of Nabiki kissing Kuno, then whisk him away to China, cure him and he'd be hers forever! And she had Kasumi to thank for it! "Hear me now! From this day, I shall not rest, I shall not sleep for an instant, until Ryoga is my husband!"  
"But you seem quite tired." Kasumi pointed out.  
"Hmm . . . then the declaration takes effect . . . after a brief nap." Yoshimi nodded.  
"The guest room is over there." The eldest Tendo said with a smile.  
"Thank you . . . I do not expect I will make it to a hotel . . . good night . . . morning, whichever it may be."  
  
"What'd I do now?" Ranma demanded. "This is about the shrimp, isnt it? If ya wanted the shrimp, ya should have just said so!"  
"It has nothing to do with shrimp Ranma! Sea food is uninvolved!" Akane cried.  
"So yer mad at me . . . because?"  
But Akane just huffed and stomped away.  
Ranma shook his head, "Oh no! I'm not letting this one go, I'm tired of this, you think I can figure out what I did to tick you off, but I cant, Akane! I really cant! I mean I do so much stuff you're not supposed to know about I'd confess to all sorts of crimes I never even committed before I figured out what I'd done wrong by you! It's the toilet seat isnt it?"  
Akane spun around and stared him in the eye. He did wonder why she never seemed to have a problem doing so, considering the fact that she was so short.  
"You get so excited about Nabiki being in a pornographic movie. Obviously you want to see her naked, but you wont even touch me!" Akane shouted so the whole hospital could hear. "I bet you wish you were still engaged to her, don't you? Go on, admit it!"  
"Is that what this is about? I cant believe you, you dunce! Obviously I'm just excited because as soon as yer dad finishes those release forms, we get to go home and see Nabiki drawn and quartered! If I know Ryoga, and I do, he'll leave her in a fit of righteous indignation, and that means with luck we might get to see her cry! We could sell tickets to an event like that!" Ranma said.  
She just glared at him.  
"Hey," he tried, "you could be in smut films, I mean Akane, when I first came here, who did all the boys fight over? It wasn't Nabiki, it was you. I still remember the melee the first day of school, how can you think Nabiki's looks even compare to yours?"  
"So every guy in town wants me except my Fiancee?" Akane demanded.  
"Ugh!" Ranma scowled. "You're hopeless! What am I supposed to do? Take you into that broom closet over there, right now, despite the fact that neither of us is in the mood, and there's a hospital full of people wishing we'd shut up or come down with something and die?"  
There were shouts of agreement from the various rooms, and someone shouted for Ranma to shut up.  
"Well I was hoping for an unoccupied bed, but a closet is fine!" Akane said sarcastically (maybe)  
Ranma gapped at her. He played his trump card, the 'good morals' card. "What ever happened to waiting until you're married?"  
"Is it size issue, Ranma-dear?" Akane whispered loudly (how does one whisper loudly?)  
There were various shouts and groans from the people in the rooms, so either the patients were all finally dying, or they agreed Akane had scored a point. That was unacceptable to Ranma, now it was a contest, he had to win!  
"Excuse me miss, but you really need to quiet down," A nurse whispered to Akane, but Ranma shook his head and waved the hospital worker away.  
"Mind yer business infirmary slave! And yes Akane, size is a issue all right! See, your chest is so flat, that when you take off your shirt I get all confused . . . did yer dad cut the wrong cord?"  
The crowd response was confused silence. These people didn't know funny.  
Akane's response was to slap Ranma with all her might, he dodged it though and she just made a hole in the wall.  
"Ooh, you gotta pay fer that." Ranma said.  
The argument was brought to an abrupt halt when the doctor came up to them. "Excuse me, but all our patients have either drowned themselves in their own bed pans, or hung themselves with their I.V.s, also you're really killing the mood for those of us who are in the closet. I'd ask you to keep it down, but if you could just bring it up a notch, maybe you can wake all the dead and save the janitors a lot of work."  
Soun and Genma stood there suddenly, shaking their heads in disappointment, Ukyo seemed quite amused, and Yutaro was rubbing his black eye. "It's time to go." Soun said.  
"Uh . . . right." Akane said, her head bowed in shame. "But first . . . doctor . . . did the patients really commit mass suicide?"  
"How should I know? I don't like to go near them unless a news camera is there to film my miracle. I just said that to shut you up." The doctor shrugged.  
"Well in that case . . ." Akane said, turning to Ranma, "PERVERT!" She screamed so loud the walls shook. She took a moment to catch her breath, then smiled brightly and turned to leave.  
Ranma shook his head and sighed.  
  
Next Time . . . (consider this a basic guide of things that might happen, something around the lines of 99% of it wont come true)  
Ryoga and Nabiki return in the morning to find an inquisition waiting for them, battles break out all over the world, Ryoga and Ranma finally have their duel, evil people get what's coming to them, Lotion confronts Sun Set, Shampoo will in turn challenge Lotion, Happi makes a dire prediction, Dr. Tofu starts to feel a little insane again, and it's making Kasumi jealous for some reason, Akane will appeal to Cologne for guidance, Happi will score big with a hot young lady, Ryoga will be tempted by Yoshimi, and Mousse will return for the tournament (with the Moose) !!! 


	8. The Voices!

Note: Nodoka's uh . . . 'mid-life crisis'continues . . . and continues . . . and continues some more, but for the record it is meant to end in this story. Not this chapter, but before the story ends, I wanted to free her from the spell.  
  
Charlotte's Sequel!  
Chapter VIII!  
The Voices . . .  
  
. . . The sun shone bright on the unworthy earth. The earth that had no idea what sort of trouble it would soon go through . . .  
_The gears are set in motion_  
. . . The world would soon know . . .  
_I will corrupt the minds of the willing_  
. . . The universe would tremble . . .  
_It's time . . . I'm ready_  
. . . Evil would reign again! . . .  
"Yeh-hooo!" Happosai shouted as he burst through the door of the Tendo home!  
. . . Raise your hand if you saw that coming . . .  
"Akane! Akane! How's about a kiss for a weary traveler?" The tiny martial arts master asked. He looked around . . . this was quite possibly the second most unusual sight he'd ever seen.  
All the furniture in the living room was piled up with a large reclining chair set up on top, Soun sat there glaring down and him.  
"You! Where were you on the night of September the first, seventeen seventy seven?"  
"Wit yo mama!" Happi cried. "Not even _I'm_ that old, you dope!"  
"Sorry, we thought you were someone else." Akane said.  
"Akane!" Happi cried, leaping for her chest only to be stopped by Ranma's fist. "Ouch! That wasn't nice, I'm weary after my travels, doncha know it's a tradition for the most beautiful woman of the family to kiss a traveler after a long journey?"  
"Since when?" Akane demanded.  
Happi scratched his head for a moment. "Since yesterday" he decided, but Akane just rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her breasts. That caused the adaptive Happi to forge a new idea, he splashed Ranma with cold water (he always carried a bucket) and leapt, landing between Ranko's breasts, and making himself quite comfortable. "So, what're you all up to anyway?"  
"Die!" Ranko screamed, strangling the little old man.  
"We're going to ambush Nabiki when she gets back, make her confess to her crimes and then force her to live her life as we see fit." Soun explained.  
"CHSTOOKOOKOUI!" (Translation: I'm choking)  
"I know it seems harsh, but some times you've got to be firm with the children, or they'll never learn." Soun said.  
"Well she is eighteen." Some guy pointed out. "It would have been illegal for me to offer her the contract if she were any younger."  
"RSSSPHHHOOOCCCKKK!" (Translation: Who's that? What contract!? Let me go, I'm sorry, I'll never do it again)  
"That's Yutaro, he owns that Hot Springs we went to once, the one that we thought was haunted, but in truth he was swimming around attacking people because he's some sick peeping tom with a hard on for sneak attacks. Tried to rape Akane." Soun said.  
Yutaro gapped at Soun. "I never did that!"  
Soun scoffed. "From up here I am the judge, whatever I say is truth, therefore unless you want another black eye you agree with me and shut up."  
Happi was running out of air so he was forced to resort to licking Ranko's hand. She threw him at the wall and ran over to start stomping on him when he finished slowly sliding down.  
Ten minutes later things calmed down and the old man began to make his demands.  
"First, I demand to be the judge."  
"Denied!" Soun chuckled.  
"Prosecutor?"  
"I called it." Genma said.  
"Defense?"  
"I'm taking care of that." Akane said.  
"Co-Defense!" Happi insisted.  
"Denied!" Soun cried.  
"Jury?"  
"Denied!" Kasumi, Ukyo, Nodoka and Ranma all shouted.  
"Can I be the person who sits in the back and gets annoying cell phone calls?" Happi pleaded.  
"Hmm . . . very well." Soun agreed.  
Happi rubbed his hands together. "So what did little Nabiki do?"  
"She's hookin'." Ranma scoffed.  
"What?!" Happi roared in outrage! "Didn't we teach that girl anything? Any morals? Doesn't she have any self respect? Who's her pimp, I want to give that son of a gun a piece of my mind!" The old man screamed as he reached for his wallet.  
"Don't listen to Ranma, he's lying." Akane scowled.  
"Aww . . ." Happi felt hurt as never before.  
"She'll be acting in my new movie." Yutaro said.  
Happi scratched his head. "Eh?"  
"It's porn." Ranma said.  
"It must be my birthday!" Happi screamed and began to dance like a drunk monkey. He paused. "And Akane?"  
"Will not." Akane scowled.  
"Outrageous! You belong on the big screen, my girl! You belong on the big screen!!!" Happi screamed and began to cry. So close, so very close to bliss. At least one of the apples had rolled a good mile away from the tree.  
"That screaming's getting really annoying." Ranma warned.  
"What about you Kasumi?" Happi asked.  
"I've decided to open a restaurant."  
"Hmm . . . I get to mooch off Kasumi's restaurant--"  
"You do?" Kasumi looked confused.  
"I get to roll around in the stolen undergarments of a pron queen--"  
"You have my underwear!?" Yutaro gasped.  
"But Akane still refuses to kiss me . . . among other things . . . well two out of three ain't bad, today would be going great if not for my vision, but oh well, I wont let it bother me."  
"Vision?" Soun asked.  
"Yes." Happi nodded.  
"Since when do you have visions, old man?" Ranko demanded.  
"Never mind that, boy, the point is I had one." Happi said sternly.  
"What vision? What was it about?" Soun begged.  
"The one foretelling the doom of your family." Happi shrugged. "It's why I came back."  
"Tell me of this vision." Soun said nervously.  
"I want to be the judge." Happi said.  
"Done! Now tell me of this vision!" Soun begged.  
"All in good time, now I've got some sentencing to do . . . Guilty!! Not guilty!!"  
  
Nabiki yawned, and stretched. She shoved Ryoga out of bed to wake him, he fell flat on his face and kept right on sleeping.  
He was doing it to spite her, she was sure of it.  
"Wake up." She said firmly, Ryoga ignored her.  
Nabiki sighed and jumped out of bed–onto Ryoga.  
That woke him up.  
"Hey!"  
"Oh sorry, didn't see you there honey." Nabiki said, stepping off of him.  
"Sure you didn't." Ryoga grumbled, getting up.  
"Well wake up, we've got to get out of here, so get with the program or I'll turn you back into P-Chan and carry you out."  
Ryoga sighed and got up. He looked around and frowned. "Where are we?"  
"A motel." Nabiki said simply. She sighed when Ryoga scowled. "Hey, you knew the moment I agreed to take a walk with you that we'd end up in a cheap motel."  
"If this is all you wanted why did we bother to leave your house?"  
"Good question." Nabiki shrugged. "Well at least this way I know we wont get caught."  
"Caught doing what?" Ryoga frowned.  
"Caught . . . uh . . . y'know." Nabiki shrugged.  
Ryoga yawned. "We didn't even do anything last night."  
Nabiki frowned. "Hey you're right, we were just sleepy! What a rip off. You wanna do it now?"  
"Too early in the day." He teased her.  
"Yeah? Be that way. I'll trick you into it sooner or later." She warned him. "Well . . . shall we sneak out of here?" Nabiki asked.  
"We paid for the room already." Ryoga observed.  
Nabiki sighed. "I'm so pathetic."  
"That's not . . . oh, you're pathetic? Yeah, I guess you are." Ryoga laughed, Nabiki glared daggers at him. "Oh fine, that's not true, what makes you say that?"  
"I'm losing my touch! I paid for a room that we didn't even use!"  
"We did use–"  
"Not in the proper way." Nabiki sighed. "Let's just get home before Kasumi figures something out. Maybe everyone else came back."  
  
"The old man's vocal cords sure have gotten stronger since he left us." Ranko scowled.  
"I hold you in contempt! Now hold me in your arms!" Happi cried, leaping from Soun's former chair straight into Ranko's shirt.  
"I am being touched in my naughty places!" Ranko shouted. Then added, "Again!"  
"Go tell a lawyer!" Soun snapped, "Where the devil is Nabiki?"  
"Good morning everyone." Yoshimi said, emerging from the guest room, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.  
For someone who'd just woken up she looked as if she'd spent the last two hours combing her hair and applying makeup. Soun sighed, if only he were ten . . . eh twenty . . . well maybe thirty years younger.  
Now he'd lost his train of thought, what was he going to do if he were thirty years younger? He decided to forget the entire issue.  
"Good morning Yoshimi, I trust you slept well." Kasumi said.  
"Oh-ho very well indeed." The billionaire's daughter laughed. "Now that I know how to win Ryoga's heart that is."  
"See, I told Kasumi you'd figure out about his love of curry bread eventually." Ranma sighed.  
"What? What are you talking about?" Yoshimi frowned.  
"Uh . . . what are _you_ talking about?"  
Yoshimi chuckled. "Well naturally I've found out about his little transformation problem. I am going to correct it." Yoshimi said.  
"I see . . ." Ranma nodded. Then the light of realization dawned on her. "You mean you'll cure Ryoga if he marries you?"  
"Exactly." Yoshimi nodded. "My husband must be perfect in every way and . . ." She raised an eyebrow at Ranko and Genma, who had gone down to one knee and were now proposing to her. Akane was being held back by Kasumi and Nodoka was being held back by Yutaro . . . actually it looked sort of like Yutaro was feeling her up . . . more like Nodoka and Yutaro were– "Oh!" Soun turned away at the sight. "Control! Control! Nodoka, you must learn control!" He cried.  
"Uh . . ." Yoshimi frowned, "I do not require any additional husbands . . . _or_ wives and while I do not wish to offend you I . . . do not really know either one of you."  
"We'll get to know each other!" Ranko pleaded. "You'll find I'd do _anything_ for the cure!" he winked at Yoshimi, suddenly the TV slammed into the back of her head. (Ranko's, not Yoshimi's)  
"My love!" Soun cried, rushing over to the wreckage.  
"Anything for the cure?" Akane roared, her hands seemed magnetically drawn to Ranko's throat.  
"I was lying Akane!" Ranko feebly protested as her fiancee began to strangle her. "Y-you know I want our first time t-to be special!"  
"Oh really?" Akane gasped, releasing Ranko.  
"Yeah, of course." Ranko said, looking into her eyes. Was this it? Was this the moment where they would confess their undying love? Soun felt anxious as the two gazed at one another . . .  
"Oh Ranma!" Akane cried, throwing her arms around him, their lips came closer and closer, a kiss was imminent! The fact that they were both girls only made it better.  
"I'll get you the cure for a quickie." Yoshimi said.  
"Deal!" Ranko cried without a millisecond of hesitation. Akane's loving embrace became the icy grip of death once more.  
"Oh-ho-ho I was only kidding." Yoshimi giggled. "You know it's easy to tell just by looking at you what a close friendship you two share."  
"That's . . . right . . ." Ranma gasped for air.  
"Best pals!" Akane grunted through teeth clenched in a murderous grin. "I can't wrap my hands any tighter around this scrawny neck!"  
"P-please Akane! I . . . I've always . . . loved you!" Ranma gasped.  
"Oh really?" Akane squealed, throwing her arms around her again and hugging her.  
"Oh . . . that's sweet." Soun said. "And a little scary."  
"Oh yeah!" Nodoka cried. "Oh yes! Yes!"  
"I'm glad you agree–UGH!" Soun said, forgetting Nodoka's previous position and making the mistake of looking back at her and Yutaro, now in the process of breaking in the new dining room table.  
"Who's the best, baby? Who's the best!" Yutaro cried.  
"Happosai!"  
"Uh . . . who's second best?"  
"Ryoga's dad!"  
"Third best?"  
"That helicopter pilot!"  
"We'll who the heck's on top of you right now?" Yutaro demanded.  
"Uh . . . Kasumi?" Nodoka wondered, apparently coming to the realization that she didn't have a clue who she was with.  
"Close enough!" Yutaro decided, and the two continued.  
"Why aren't I on that list?" Genma demanded, "I'm your husband!"  
"Sorry dear, he didn't ask me who the fifteenth best was!" Nodoka cried.  
"Uh . . . kids, go upstairs." Soun said.  
"But . . . it's so . . . educational." Ukyo said.  
"Mommy!" Ranko wept. "Why do you do these things? You're ruining our already broken family!"  
"Oh don't worry, you can have him when I'm finished!" Nodoka gasped. "Ooh! Never mind, go find someone else this one's all mine!"  
"Upstairs, upstairs!" Soun cried, shooing Ranma, Ukyo, Yoshimi, Akane and Kasumi upstairs.  
"But father, I'm twenty years old!" Kasumi protested. "And Ukyo is right, this is educational! I didn't know it was supposed to go in there!"  
"It isnt! Upstairs with the rest! Take the old master with you!" Soun cried Though Happi was kicking and screaming the meanest profanities known to man as Ranma and Akane struggled to get him upstairs, Genma pouted and stomped up stairs. "You ain't the boss of me!" He shouted as he scaled the stairs. "I'll hate you forever!"  
"Not you Saotome! You can stay!" Soun sighed.  
"Oh. Well then I wont hate you forever." Genma smiled. "H-Hey! No-Chan you never let me do that to you!"  
"You were never flexible enough darling!"  
"G'on, bring that up!"  
"I will not be denied!" Happi cried, escaping from Ranma and bouncing down the stairs, Soun sighed, massaging his forehead.  
"This is incredible, are you sure you're twenty one?" Yutaro gasped.  
"Okay, I lied . . . I'm eighteen." Nodoka moaned.  
"You're thirty seven!" Genma protested.  
"He lies! He lies!" Nodoka cried.  
Soun shook his head. "Why is it always my house?" He grumbled. "Saotome, I remember you having a perfectly good house. And where is Nabiki?"  
  
As a matter of fact Nabiki and Ryoga were standing right outside. The screaming, moaning and such however had them petrified. "Whatever's going on in there must be truly terrible." Nabiki said.  
"They're waiting for us to come in, practicing all the death giving techniques they're going to use on us." Ryoga reasoned.  
"Or worse . . ." Nabiki gasped in realization.  
"What's worse than death?" Ryoga asked.  
Nabiki frowned at him. If Yutaro were in there it was entirely possible that he'd told her father everything and the screams and moans were his death cries as the Tendo family proceeded to torture him to within an inch of his life. "Let's just . . . try to sneak in through the back." Nabiki decided.  
  
The young man was sitting on the bar stool, twisting it back and forth as he explained the way things worked to the bartender. "Be it single celled organisms or a so-called 'advanced'culture, life goes on." He explained, "Do I believe in aliens? Not in the way you suspect. Slime creatures from outer space–"  
"How many times have you given this _rant_?" A gruff voice demanded.  
The young man turned his stool around to face the speaker, it was a tall man wearing a long white Nehru jacket, at least a dozen gold rings decorated each of the sleeves. His hair was long, red and well kept, he was tall and thin but the young man knew this person possessed more strength than men thrice his size.  
"I have explained my point of view thirty seven times."  
"To what point and purpose? Do you leave the people you harass with your mindless dribble any wiser?"  
"For a few seconds." The young man chuckled.  
The older man shook his head. He reached into his jacket, the younger man tensed. "Wait! Jun . . . what have I done?" He asked.  
"I think you know, Maro." Jun whispered.  
"So . . . it comes to this then? I suppose I should be honored that they sent a master of your renown." Maro slouched.  
Jun glared at him intensely for a moment. Maro shuddered, waiting impatiently for the assassin to simply get on with it. To his surprise what Jun revealed from inside his coat was not a weapon, but a pair of bronze rings, like the gold ones decorating his jacket. He tossed them to Maro, who caught them deftly. "What is this?"  
"You are completely clueless today, aren't you?" Jun chuckled. "They mark your rank, and the number of targets you've successfully eliminated."  
"I know what they are! What I meant was . . . why are you giving these to me?"  
"You managed to eliminate two guild targets. You've been given two bronze."  
"But I'm not part of the guild!" Maro whispered.  
"Now you are." Jun shrugged. "Are you going to drink this?" He asked, grabbing Maro's beer.  
"I don't drink." Maro shrugged.  
"I suppose that explains your hatred of bars." Jun chuckled, taking a swig from the drink. "Gah, no wonder you don't drink, the stuff here's enough to ruin alcohol for anyone, even me." He slammed the empty glass down onto the table. "I'm outta here." Jun scoffed.  
"Wait a second!" Maro protested, "Aren't new initiates supposed to be given a task to prove their worth?"  
"Heavens you're right!" Jun gasped. He chuckled, "How _could_ I have forgotten?" He reached into his jacket again and handed Maro two pages torn from a book. "Here you go."  
Maro looked at the papers. Ranma Saotome. Ryoga Hibiki. Fairly detailed biographies and a list of techniques and weapons. Maro slumped. He'd been hoping for a president, or a big time CEO, or someone worthy of his intellect and skill, not a pair of nobodies.  
"They'll lead you to the one you want." Jun explained. Maro's shoulders straightened right away.  
"They know where the dolt is hiding?" Maro demanded. The Master Assassin just shrugged, Maro slammed his fist down on the bar in excitement, "I'll track these two down and force them to spill their guts before I spill their guts! Then I'll finally have Lo-Chun!"  
Jun laughed. "Careful you don't underestimate these two, if you do your membership in this guild will be a short one."  
Maro chuckled, looking at the two young men. "A pair of martial artists? Master Jun I thank you for giving me such an easy assignment, when I climb to the top of the guild ladder I'll remember this favor."  
Jun chuckled. "Believe me Maro, _you're_ doing _me_ the favor."  
  
Han Lo-Chun stared out at the beauty that was her home village.  
Well . . . beauty wasn't really the word. It was sort of a slum. Somehow she remembered it being grander.  
She shook her head. She did not like this place. 'I suppose I might as well get this over with.' Han decided, setting off towards the place.  
"Stop right there!" Shampoo cried in their native tongue. "You go no further."  
Lo-Chun turned around and sighed. "I'm here on important business, and time is of the essence . . . of something. Anyway I do not like this place, do not force me to stay any longer than necessary!"  
"You have come for Sun Set?"  
"Well . . . duh."  
"Great Grandmother commanded me not to let you near Sun Set!"  
"That old ghoul really does have it in for me, doesn't she? Well then I suppose the question is 'what are you going to do to stop me'eh?"  
"Get over yourself." Shampoo scoffed. "You fight worse than stupid Mousse!"  
Lotion fell to her knees and began to weep. "I know! I am pathetic!" She wailed. "A disgrace to all Amazons! I am not even worthy of life!"  
"There, there . . . that's not . . . well it is true, but it's not so bad." Shampoo said uncertainly, trying to comfort the hysterical girl. Lotion got up and hugged her, weeping onto Shampoo's shoulder.  
"Oh Shampoo!" She wept, "You've always been my one true friend! I love you so! I _really_ love you!"  
She could sense how uncomfortable this made the other girl, however while Shampoo worried about what a passer by might think she failed to worry about the assassin in her arms pretending to weep. Han drew one of her knives, it would be over in a heartbeat.  
She held Shampoo closer, the other girl squirmed a bit, Lo-Chun shut her eyes tight and brought her knife in as quick and hard as she could.  
. . .  
. . .  
The hilt hit Shampoo on the back of the head, knocking her unconscious. Lo-Chun frowned and made sure the other girl was still alive then shook her head. "Trained to kill and I cant even get rid of my arch enemy? I really am pathetic! Not even I can deny how poor my aim was!" She mumbled, leaving her enemy alive as she turned towards the village and her meeting with Sun Set.  
  
"I know life has been difficult for you." Mousse said soothingly, "I cannot begin to imagine the emotional pain you must have endured, Lo-Chun . . ."  
But Lo-Chun just stood there. Mousse wasn't wearing his glasses, he wanted to try to use his sex-appeal on the scrawny amazon and convince her to see reason. However she seemed unaffected, just stood there watching him.  
"Elder Cologne is not all that bad, if you cooperate she loses interest in you eventually. Wont you come back with me?" It was pure luck that he'd found her before she could get to the village, especially since he'd accidentally boarded a plane to Korea misreading the gate number, and had to come back.  
Lo-Chun let out a loud bellow, Mousse shook his head, "Crying about it wont solve anything. Neither will killing Sun Set. Come home with me now, we'll sort things out there, I'll help you . . . I'm your friend."  
Lo-Chun seemed to agree, she marched over to Mousse and picked him up with her gigantic antlers.  
Antlers?  
Mousse decided not to let it bother him. He just didn't get feminine fashion.  
As they headed back for the Cat Café some man pointed at them and shouted, "That's gotta be the most impressive moose I've ever seen!"  
"Thank you!" Mousse shouted, "I 'have'been working out!"  
  
Sun Set was an attractive young woman, but then so were most Amazons. She was twenty one, had a small home where she lived with her husband and her grandparents, whom she loved dearly. Apart from that . . . well she just wont be around long enough for you to care. She whistled merrily to herself as she prepared dinner for her family.  
A shadow fell over her, and the hairs on the back of her neck began to rise, she turned around and saw a young woman standing in her doorway watching her. This young woman was dressed in an unusual fashion but her slim build and silvery hair told Set who it was right away. "Lo-Chun!" She cried a little nervously. "What brings you back home?"  
The younger amazon approached her slowly, something about her movements reminded Set of a panther circling it's prey waiting for the right moment to pounce. Of course as predators go Set knew Lo-Chun was more of a panda . . . she tried to envision a panda circling it's prey waiting to pounce, but it wasn't working.  
"Are you hungry?" Set asked.  
The assassin just shrugged. "I have no time for food."  
"So what have you come for?" Set asked, readying herself for battle.  
"Don't worry. This isnt about revenge–"  
"You're here for revenge?"  
"No! I just told you, it's **not** about revenge! I . . . have a problem."  
"I know all about it." Set shrugged.  
"Well then what should I do?" Lo-Chun asked.  
"I think you know the answer to that." Set said softly. "You're smarter than you think, after all you've figured out who told him where you were."  
The younger girl shook her head and Set was shocked to realize that she'd come all this way not knowing. Would it be wise to tell her?  
"I should be in Japan." Lo-Chun said, "I left them unprepared and barely aware, I allowed my cowardice to prevail and I abandoned the closest thing I've had to a family in years."  
"I see . . ." Sun Set frowned. "But you returned here to ask me what to do when in fact you already know?"  
"If I go back I'll be killed."  
"Isnt family worth dying for?" Set asked. The younger woman looked at her for a long time without saying anything, so she continued, "I haven't always been the best of friends to you, though you were usually too naive to notice it . . ."  
"I noticed." Lo-Chun sighed.  
"Well still . . . when that man came into town looking for you I thought it was too perfect to be true. Here was an attractive, seemingly intelligent young man who seemed almost obsessed with you and anything I could tell him about you."  
"You . . ." Lo-Chun gasped.  
"He claimed that you were a close friend of his, that you'd been separated by accident and now he had no way of locating you, he simply asked if I had any idea and I told him, simple as that. I thought if you married some outsider and left the tribe your enmity with Cologne would end."  
"I see . . ." Lo-Chun whispered. "Maybe I really _should_ be here fore revenge . . ."  
"I didn't think it would put you or anyone else in danger." Set explained.  
"People have already died because of him!" Lo-Chun cried, "More are in danger now, people who have become important to me are in danger!"  
"Then why are you still here?" Set asked.  
Lo-Chun shook her head. "I came because . . . the next time Maro and I meet, I swear one of us will not survive. Maybe . . . neither of us will."  
"You came to say goodbye?" Set raised an eyebrow.  
Lo-Chun shook her head. "At first I came to hide and settle a score with a certain tree. But on my way here I realized that there are things worth dying for. So I need a special something. Something that only you can give me."  
Set laughed wickedly. "I understand now. But the elder wont be pleased if I give you what you ask for."  
"Elder Cologne can blow it out her–"  
"I get it, I get it." Set said, turning to rummage through the cupboards for the various poisons she'd need.  
  
"And what are your qualifications?" Tofu asked. "What makes you think you've got what it takes to be part of this organization?"  
"Well I'm **talking** to you." The toaster said.  
"That's very true. What do you think Betty?"  
"I think you need to find help." The skeleton sighed.  
"Betty, please." Tofu sighed back.  
"Oh fine. I think the leaf blower was more impressive, but being able to make toast is just awesome. Imagine, toast whenever you want it! However I have to say neither one of them can replace the chainsaw."  
"My thoughts exactly." Tofu nodded.  
"No kidding." Betty sighed.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tofu demanded.  
"I think you think I'll say you know what it means."  
"Fine, I'll let that one go." Tofu said. "I'm sorry toaster, but you're just not right for this organization."  
"Screw you buddy!" The toaster cried. "Next time you put bread in me it's coming out black as midnight!"  
"Don't be that way. Next!" Tofu shouted.  
"Uh excuse me? Dr. Tofu?" Some lady asked.  
"Yes that's me. Who might you be?"  
"It's me, Konatsu?"  
"Oh . . . you're not a lady." Tofu frowned.  
"Of course not!" Konatsu frowned back, "What ever would give you that idea?"  
Tofu thought for a moment, then decided to politely drop the subject. "What brings you here?"  
"Well it's just that Ukyo hasn't been to the restaurant today, I thought she might be here."  
"Look in the basement!" Betty cried.  
"Shut up, Betty!" Tofu squealed, "No one goes in that basement!"  
"Uh . . . okay . . ." Konatsu looked confused.  
"But you just throw things in there, I mean it's not like you bother to check what it is you've already got down there. I think the roaches have made an advanced civilization." Betty said.  
"But the basement is where I put all the bodies!"  
"What!?" Konatsu yelped.  
"That caught me by surprise and I'm an extension of your own imagination." Betty admitted.  
"Now look what you've done Betty, he knows too much!" Tofu sighed, massaging his forehead.  
"Uh . . . I'll just be going now." Konatsu said.  
"Wait! It was a joke!" Tofu cried, not entirely sure if he was telling the truth but Konatsu ran out of his office and bolted off towards the Tendo training hall.  
Tofu scratched his chin. "What is in the basement?"  
"You don't have a basement!" Betty sighed.  
"Oh yeah!" Tofu chuckled. "I swear, I get so caught up in my work sometimes it makes me crazy!"  
"No kidding," Betty sighed.  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tofu demanded.  
  
After some time passed Yutaro and Nodoka finished their unholy business and Ranma (who had since transformed back to his male self), Akane and the others were allowed back down stairs. "So tell us old man," Ranma scoffed at Happosai, "What's this dire prediction of doom you're selling?"  
Happi shook his head. "It's terrible Ranma, really terrible. The house will be destroyed in a horrific whirlwind, everyone in it will be killed, I see you falling from a high place to your certain doom, alas I don't know the cause but I cant just turn my back on all of you."  
"I don't suppose your vision told you if Nabiki would be home some time today did it?" Soun growled.  
"I saw her death as well, so I suppose she'll show up sooner or later."  
Just then there was a knock at the door, Akane rushed over to it, Ranma sighed when he saw it was just Konatsu.  
"What the heck are you doing here?" Ukyo demanded.  
"You didn't come back yesterday and you haven't shown up today, I wanted to find out where you were." Konatsu said.  
"Who's watching the restaurant?" Ukyo demanded.  
"Those pink ninjas."  
"Oh right. Well I went with Ranma honey to the hospital, then we came back here and I got the be part of the jury, and I got all sidetracked. I've barely slept."  
"Jury?" Kontasu wondered.  
"We're having family court . . . as soon as Nabiki _shows up_."  
"I was wondering why your furniture was so oddly arrayed . . . but I did not want to be rude." Yoshimi said.  
"Why do you look so shaken up, sugar?" Ukyo asked Konatsu.  
"Oh it's nothing . . . nothing." The beautiful boy said. He paused . . . "Tofu went nuts again!" He cried.  
"Not again!" Akane complained. "I'm not breaking him out of the asylum again!"  
"Are you kidding!" Ranma shouted, "If you even **think** of suggesting it _I'll_ be the one strangling _you_! I will not go to prison again! The soap! The soap!"  
"Now, now," Kasumi said holding and comforting Ranma, "Remember, soap is your friend as long as it's green . . . green is the safety color, remember . . . Konatsu dropped the soap too and he's fine."  
"Actually I rather enjoyed it." Konatsu admitted.  
"Uh . . . moving on," Kasumi said, "How do you know Dr. Tofu is insane? They dismantled his chainsaw didn't they?"  
"He's talking to toasters now."  
"Oh no, _not that_!" Kasumi gasped.  
"And he was yelling at some woman named Betty."  
Kasumi flinched, her supportive hug began to resemble one of Akane's as she slowly wrung Ranma's neck.  
'Today is not my day!'He decided.  
"Betty?" She asked.  
"You know . . . his skeleton." Akane said.  
Kasumi's face twisted and changed for a second, it was like looking into the face of pure unbridled anger that made Akane look like a sworn pacifist, suddenly she was back to normal and she released Ranma. "Well if Betty is already a skeleton I guess it saves me a lot of trouble."  
"Uh . . . what?" Konatsu frowned.  
"It's nothing. Don't concern yourself with it." Kasumi smiled. "As I said, moving on . . ."  
"Right," Nabiki said, "Let's focus on the important things, namely that loud report a moment ago."  
"Yes," Soun nodded, "Nodoka you'll have to learn to control your sexual urges . . ." Soun looked at the girl who'd just spoken to him, "Is it just me, or is there twelve where once there was ten?"  
"Yeah, we just snuck in through--" Ryoga began to point out, Nabiki stepped on his foot.  
"Oh of course daddy, Konatsu just walked in." Nabiki said with a disarming smile.  
"Wait . . . weren't you . . ." Soun struggled with the answer.  
"Standing right here with everyone else this whole time? Yes I was." Nabiki said calmly.  
"You just got here!" Ranma cried.  
"No I didn't."  
"Curses, there's jut no arguing with her logic!" Ranma scowled sarcastically.  
Soun shook his head, "No, no, he's right! We were waiting for you!"  
"No you weren't." Nabiki said.  
"Curses!" Soun cried in defeat.  
"Now just a minute young lady, maybe my boy and your dad are morons but you wont outsmart me with your stuff that you do!" Genma warned.  
"Yes I will." Nabiki shrugged.  
"Darn it all, I'm defeated!" Genma wailed.  
"Curse her and her mind control powers!" Ukyo cried.  
"I'm not using them." Nabiki shrugged. "These three are just sort of . . . stupid."  
Ranma bristled. "I'm one of those three right?"  
"Yes."  
"Hey!" He protested. Now he had to see Nabiki go down.  
"Ranma, why don't you blow off some steam outside?" Akane offered.  
"What?" Ranma scratched his head.  
"You and Ryoga were going to duel right? So why don't you guys go do that now?"  
"Good idea." Nabiki said.  
"Jeez it's like you're our mothers arranging a play date." Ranma scoffed.  
"No kidding." Ryoga agreed.  
"Just go you two." Akane said. "Dad will remember why we were going to have family court sooner or later, when he does it isnt going to be pretty."  
"Don't act like I cant hear you! I'm standing right here!" Soun cried.  
"I want to watch this ugly sight." Ranma explained, "I want to see her go down _hard_, vengeance for all the wrongs she's committed on me!"  
"How many times do you need to get revenge for that **one** little defeat?" Nabiki demanded.  
"'Least one more." Ranma grinned.  
"I should stay, it was my idea to go out last night." Ryoga said. "We didn't mean to stay out all night y'know." He added to Soun.  
"I'm pretty sure that's not what this is about." Nabiki said, giving Yutaro an appraising look, the actor just shrugged helplessly and she slapped her forehead.  
"Go." Akane said firmly, looking at Ranma she whispered, "I really don't want him to know about this, if we can talk Nabiki out of it he never has to . . . please Ranma, if you wont do it for your friend's sake do it for me?"  
Ranma couldn't help but pout. Aside from wanting to see Nabiki get in trouble he'd wanted to see Ryoga dump her, their relationship itself seemed wrong to him. But Akane seemed really dead set on the two staying together so . . .  
"Winner gets a cookie." Kasumi offered.  
"That cookie bit might have worked if I were like twelve." Ranma scoffed. Then sighed, "I'm just kidding, I really do want a cookie. C'mon Ryoga, let's go."  
"Hey wait a minute–" Ryoga began but Ukyo shoved him out the door anyway.  
"Vote's three to one sugar, you're outta here!" She said and she slammed the door on Ryoga and Ranma.  
"Don't even worry about it, she'll be fine." Ranma offered.  
Ryoga shook his head. "You know what she's on trial for, don't you?"  
"Yes." Ranma shrugged.  
Ryoga scratched his chin. "It's something bad. Something she doesn't want me to know about, something that's got her dad angry enough to pile all his furniture up in the infamously unstable but locally feared pyramid of judgement."  
"Hey," Ranma said lightly, "If ya beat me, I'll just tell you what it is."  
Ryoga shook his head again. "I'll wait until she's willing to tell me."  
"And if she _never_ is?"  
"Well then I guess I'll just _never_ know." Ryoga shrugged. Ranma shook his head. This guy was pathetic, if his girlfriend was hiding something from him he should be trying to ferret out the truth any way he could like every other man in the world, not just rolling over and accepting it. "As for beating you," Ryoga continued, "well that it's own reward."  
"Too bad it's one you'll never get." Ranma grinned.  
"Keep talking Saotome, all the more words for you to eat." Ryoga scoffed and started to walk off.  
"Ryoga . . . dojo's this way." Ranma said.  
"Uh . . . I knew that." Ryoga said, turning around and walking in the direction Ranma had pointed.  
"No wait . . . it's this way." Ranma said, pointing in another direction.  
"Now you're just messing with me." Ryoga scowled.  
"Yep." Ranma chuckled.  
"Just lead the way, we'll see who's laughing when we get there." Ryoga shook his head.  
"Here's a hint: it'll be me." Ranma laughed.  
  
"There, now that we've avoided catastrophe," Soun began, but Ukyo cut him off,  
"Actually you've just doomed your dojo to utter destruction."  
"Right . . . well now what's left of this house has avoided catastrophe," Soun explained, "Imagine the depression Ryoga will suffer when he learns the news, he wont be able to control it, the blast would destroy the whole house. I just hope Ranma's not stupid enough to tell him, if he does everyone in the dojo will probably die."  
"Yoshimi . . . why don't you go and cheer Ryoga on?" Nabiki asked.  
The rich girl smiled wickedly and nodded knowingly. "Oh absolutely. Good luck with your execution."  
Nabiki mouthed a couple obscenities at Yoshimi's back, Akane shuddered at how extensive her sister's vocabulary was and how well she formed almost purely profane sentences without having to reuse any of the words.  
"Well now we can get down to business. Nabiki, is there anything you'd like to confess?"  
"I really have no idea what you're so upset about daddy." Nabiki said innocently.  
"But you sure didn't object to getting Ryoga out of here." Akane pointed out.  
"I just agreed because it meant Ranma would be gone" Nabiki shrugged. "Incidentally how long has Yutaro been here?"  
"Long enough to get it on with your auntie Nodoka."  
"So like . . . three minutes? Four?"  
Soun shook his head. "Just confess, we already know, he told us everything."  
"Everything? Then _why_ should I confess?"  
"Good point. Shall we just sentence you then?" Happi asked.  
"Confess and you get a lighter sentence!" Soun added.  
Nabiki shrugged, "What's the big deal?" She asked. "It's not like I did anything wrong . . . right?"  
Akane scoffed. What was she talking about? Of course this was wrong! "You're going to be a porn star! You'll have to change your name to something like Jenny Jugs! How can you not see the problem with this?"  
"Aha! So that's all he told you!" Nabiki cried in triumph, "Oh-ho the things I nearly confessed to! Thank heavens Akane is so reliably gullible!"  
Everyone glared at Akane–except Nabiki, who beamed gratitude–she lowered her head in shame.  
"Nabiki," Soun said, "You have to have known that we'd never allow it."  
Nabiki shrugged. "I knew you'd be upset, I just didn't see how it was your decision to make."  
"Nabiki, imagine for a moment that ten years from now you've got a eight year old son and he watches Yutaro's movie," Kasumi said, "What are you going to tell him?"  
Nabiki shrugged, "Bet ya didn't know that's me you're whackin'off to, did'ja junior? What's that? You did know!? Go to your room right now!"  
Kasumi sighed, Ukyo laughed until Soun gave her a warning glare, Akane shook her head. "Nabiki," Akane said, "What are you going to tell Ryoga if he ever sees it?"  
"Happy birthday." Nabiki said simply.  
"Curses, she's planned her defense well." Genma said.  
"Look, try to understand," Nabiki said in an almost pleading tone, "it's not like I plan to spend the rest of my life giving blow jobs and faking orgasms, that's auntie Nodoka's calling–"  
"I didn't fake a minute ago!" Nodoka said, still glowing after her encounter with Yutaro.  
"Oh-ho . . . anyway this is just to gain a little renown, then I can work on real movies." Nabiki shrugged. "Lots of actresses get their start with smut films."  
"Uh . . . name three." Akane said.  
"Later." Nabiki scoffed. "Point is this is just a starting point, I promise."  
"But you don't know how to act, you never took any classes!" Soun protested.  
"I act all the time!" Nabiki protested.  
"No, you manipulate people, there's a difference." Kasumi said.  
"So I'll manipulate them in a different way." Nabiki shrugged. "Point is that now I'll be _paid_ to do it! So maybe I have to expose myself to a few cameras, big deal. If you want I'll use some of the fortune I'll be making to pay for acting lessons."  
"You cant expect to make a bundle with every movie, not all the directors out there will be as stupid as Yutaro." Soun said.  
"Yeah . . . hey!" Yutaro protested. "Why am I stupid?"  
"Well . . ." Kasumi said calmly, "what did Ryoga have to say about it?"  
"About what?" Nabiki asked.  
"About you being a whore." Kasumi said innocently, she threw her hands up in surrender before Nabiki could throttle her, "I meant 'exotic' actress."  
"He doesn't know." Nabiki admitted.  
Akane shook her head angrily. "Yutaro, please talk some sense into her."  
"Uh . . . I want her to act in my movie, remember?" Yutaro sighed.  
"Good point." Soun scratched his chin. "I still refuse to allow my daughter to have anything to do with such a film."  
"You cant stop me." Nabiki said stubbornly.  
"If you do this, I'll disown you!" Soun warned. Akane gapped at him, was he serious?  
"Fine. Disown me." Nabiki scoffed. "I don't need this broken family anyway!"  
"No! No! I was bluffing! Forgive me!" Soun wept and groveled. He added as an after thought, "Is the family really broken?"  
"Pretty badly." Genma said.  
"You're one to talk!" Soun shouted.  
While dad and uncle Saotome started getting into a heated argument over who's family was more severely broken Nabiki snuck off to her room. Akane followed her, refusing to let her sister make such a mistake!  
  
Ranma and Ryoga had only just arrived at the dojo, and were preparing to fight to the gruesome death when Yoshimi entered, Ryoga sighed.  
"Bubble Gum," she said, "I have the most wonderful news!"  
Ryoga sighed again. "What do you want?"  
"It's not what I want that matters, it's what you want my dear. And I can give you what you want!"  
"Can you wait until I'm done with him?" Ranma demanded, Ryoga raised an eyebrow at Ranma.  
'What's she got?' He wondered.  
"Oh fine, just ask her." Ranma scoffed.  
Ryoga turned to Yoshimi, "Well? What've you got?" He asked.  
Yoshimi gave him a cute smile . . . it didn't fool him, he still didn't like her. "I'm sorry you thought you had to hide your curse from me . . . but I can help you fix it."  
"What?" Ryoga whispered.  
"Well . . . if you forget about Nabiki and marry me we'll honeymoon in China . . ."  
Ryoga shuddered as he realized what she meant. Could he just give up Nabiki if it meant being free of P-Chan? It wasn't a secret anymore, but it also wasn't as if Akane finding out had been the only problem, the cold hard truth was that P-Chan was his greatest weakness and he'd lost a few fights because of it.  
But maybe someday he could find the cure himself, did he really need Yoshimi's help? Was it worth losing Nabiki?  
"Hey man," Ranma said, "don't go making any decisions right off the bat, think it through, this might be your only chance to be rid of your alter-ego."  
"Yes! Yes! Listen to your friend, he knows what he's talking about!" Yoshimi nodded.  
"But is P-Chan so bad? I mean let's face it, you'll be able to fit handily into small places, and I bet Nabiki makes Yoshimi seem frigid."  
"Lies! Lies! Don't listen, he has no idea what he's talking about!" Yoshimi cried, shaking her fist at Ranma who just sneered.  
Ryoga whispered. "I want to be rid of P-Chan more than anything else . . ."  
"Victory!" Yoshimi cried, making a V with her fingers.  
"But I want to marry Nabiki even more than that!" Ryoga scowled.  
Yoshimi seemed taken aback. "No . . ." She whispered. "It can't be! I was so sure . . . you're leaving me no choice my love, I must break your heart if I am to win it." She said with obviously feigned sadness. She reached into her pocket and revealed an envelop, she checked it's contents then handed it to Ryoga. "Compliments of a skilled Photographer by the name of Gosunkugi."  
Ryoga raised an eyebrow at Yoshimi. "This envelope is supposed to break my heart? What is it, pictures of Ranko in the nude? Because I've seen her chest like a thousand times."  
"Hey!" Ranma shouted.  
"Something far worse." Yoshimi said.  
"Hey!" Ranma protested. "My female form is pretty darn hot!"  
Ryoga sighed and opened the envelope to examine the pictures . . .  
  
Nabiki fell down onto her bed and sighed. So much fuss over such a trivial matter! She wanted to just call it quits but it was too late, she'd signed the contract, and she couldn't just change her mind about college now! There was no way she was going to any of these cheap imitation universities.  
Uninvited, Akane appeared to interrupt her solitude. Nabiki sighed and Akane came over to her, sitting down on the bed, rubbing her shoulder in what she probably thought was a comforting manner.  
"Go . . . away." Nabiki grumbled.  
"Nabiki . . . you're better than this. Do you really want this as your future? So maybe it's easy money, big deal! This isnt you."  
"Yes it is." Nabiki scoffed. "Who else would it be? Kasumi?"  
Akane shook her head. "What if I said 'please'?"  
Nabiki smiled warmly. "Okay then Akane. That's all I really wanted."  
Akane sighed. "You're right, no one would fall for that one."  
Nabiki sat up and took a deep breath. "Akane, I'm not going to be doing this forever, it's just temporary. I mean it."  
"But you're not an actress!"  
"I'll learn quick." Nabiki scoffed. "Let's say I go to college, ace my classes, who's to say I'll get a job in the field I want? If I do, who's to say I wont just lose that job? Now here I have a job before me, it's something I can easily do, and be paid quite a lot of money for, why should I refuse?"  
"Because you know refusing is the right thing to do?" Akane offered.  
"Yeah, maybe ten years ago it was." Nabiki scoffed. "Times have changed and the kids ain't all right or whatever, this sort of thing is perfectly okay nowadays, in a few more years certain _religions_ might even start _supporting_ it."  
"Uh . . . no, I don't think that's ever going to happen." Akane said.  
Nabiki laughed weakly, "Daddy would probably have a heart attack if I go through with this." She admitted.  
"Probably." Akane nodded.  
"And of course I'll lose Ryoga." Nabiki reasoned.  
"Yep." Akane nodded again.  
"Kasumi would probably never let me live it down." Nabiki sighed.  
"Never." Akane said.  
"So . . . I guess I'll just have to give it up. Be a normal, chaste young woman like you guys want." Nabiki sighed in resignation.  
"You're the best!" Akane cried, hugging her sister.  
'And you're a sucker.' Nabiki thought.  
  
And meanwhile . . .  
Kuno woke sitting under the tree with Kinnosuke. He jumped up and groaned in lament, Nabiki! He must have missed her! He grabbed Kinnosuke by the collar and shook him awake, but it didn't work so he tore the tape away from the other boy's mouth with one swift stroke.  
The scream shattered a few windows, sent birds flying and most other animals running for the hills. "You!" He shouted, "Did Nabiki Tendo show up after I went to sleep?"  
"How should I know? Let me down from here!" Kinnosuke cried.  
"She did didn't she? You dated her and then tapped yourself to the tree again thinking I'd be none the wiser!" Kuno accused.  
"If I'd gotten free I'd have tapped _you_ to this tree!" Kinnosuke shouted.  
Kuno scowled, he decided he couldn't just leave Kinnosuke here . . . but now that he had to track Nabiki down he didn't want this slime getting a head start on him . . .  
"If I let you go . . . you must not get in between me and Nabiki Tendo ever again!"  
"Screw you, once I'm free I'm going to sweep her off her feet just to spite you!" Kinnosuke growled.  
"Then we are rivals." Tatewaki said dramatically.  
"Rivals? I wouldn't even call us that. You're just a pretender." Kinnosuke sneered.  
Kuno scowled at him. "Nabiki Tendo will be mine!"  
"Then let me loose." Kinnosuke said. "After all, if you've got courage, and faith in your ability to win said beauty's heart, then a little friendly competition cant hurt."  
"Indeed." Kuno agreed, cutting Kinnosuke free.  
Kinnosuke glared at him, Tatewaki flinched under the murderous gleam in the other boy's eyes. However nothing came of it, rather than launching into a murderous fury Kinnosuke instead took great care removing the tape from his cloths without damaging them.  
  
Next Time . . . Shampoo is pissed off (I wonder why . . .), and Maro ambushes Ranma and Ryoga! Given the right . . . 'incentive', can Ryoga be forced to change his mind about non-lethal victories? To make matters worse (or better) it looks like Nabiki wont be a porn star after all . . . such a pity. What changes Yutaro's mind? 


	9. A Rather Blustery Day!

Author's Temporary Note: I'll get rid of this in the revision. But for now, forgive the lateness of this update. I could make excuses, at least half of which would be true, but odds are you'd only be further annoyed. This chapter was supposed to go up a few days ago, but there were some problems uploading it. However in the meantime I ironed out the final scenes of chapter 10 so now you get both at once, so be happy and forgive me!

Charlotte's Sequel!  
Chapter IX (Already)  
A Rather Blustery Day . . .

Ryoga looked over the pictures, his mind raced trying to figure out what this meant!  
How could she?  
How _could_ she!  
How in the name of all that was good could she . . . think these would _bother_ him in the least? "Are you blackmailing me or something?" He demanded, Yoshimi looked as confused as he was, "So you took pictures of me and you, and me and Uky--er I mean Yukio . . . big deal! I mean the camera didn't really get my good side but still . . "  
Yoshimi snatched the envelope and gawked.  
"This is not right! It's not supposed to be like this! This is all wrong!" The rich girl cried.  
"So . . . can we get on with our fight then?" Ranma asked.  
"You might as well, I have to sort this out. I'll be back once I do, Bubble Gum . . . please don't misunderstand my intentions for these pictures . . . I was going to uh . . . make a scrap book! Yes, that's it"  
"Whatever." Ryoga scoffed, Yoshimi scurried out the door. He shrugged. "Crazy woman." He sighed.  
"No kidding. Why does she keep calling you 'Bubble Gum?' What the heck's wrong with her"  
Ryoga sighed and shook his head. "First, she's stupid. Second . . . well if you can figure out what's wrong with that girl you're a better man than I"  
"I don't need to find the answer to one of life's greatest riddles to prove I'm better than you, I can just kick yer butt right now t'prove it." Ranma sneered, and the battle was on!

Yoshimi thought long and hard about what might have happened, and who the blame belonged to. Had she and Kinnosuke switched photos accidentally? How could that have happened? She had handled both envelopes, she had given Kinnosuke his, he'd looked at them, shown them to her as he called them useless, and put the envelope in his back pocket. Was it her fault, or could he have switched them?  
Curses! Curse everything! She had to find him and get his envelope back before he showed it to Nabiki, who knew what the consequences of those actions might be! But where to begin looking?

Kinnosuke was not far in fact, though as she ran off in search of him Yoshimi managed to miss him completely. True to his threat he had decided to steal Nabiki away from that idiot Kuno and her lost boy lover.  
While Kuno perceived Nabiki's not showing up as a sign that she'd been kidnapped, and had gone to arrange a search party, Kinnosuke had decided that the best place to begin the search for Nabiki would have to be her home.  
He practically skipped up to the door, a bouquet of roses hidden behind his back, he knocked on the door.  
Nabiki's older sister answered it and smiled politely at him. "Can I help you"  
"Why yes you can, I'm looking for Nabiki, is she home?" Kinnosuke asked.  
"I think she's up in her room with Akane . . . but I don't know if it's appropriate that she have visitors, she's been uh . . . misbehaving lately . . ." Kasumi said thoughtfully. Kinnosuke knew how to handle these situations, had planned for it even. He whipped out one of the roses, he presented it to Kasumi who took it with a raised eyebrow. "A rose for you, with petals as soft and red as your beautiful lips, but be careful, I wouldn't want you to prick one of your delicate fingers on a thorn. Fingers of pure alabaster, ivory, silk and other such precious, pure things." He said with a wink. "Are you . . . _absolutely_ sure I cant see Nabiki"  
Kasumi's cheeks turned red as she admired the rose, she stepped aside, "Up the stairs, second door on the left." She said simply.  
"Thank you, I know." Kinnosuke winked again and skipped off towards the stairs.  
"How do you know where my sister's bedroom is?" Kasumi wondered, Kinnosuke decided not to go into that rather embarrassing answer and simply quickened his pace up the stairs, he reached the door with a little sign that said "Nabiki" on it, he knocked twice--like a gentleman--and waited for a response, but it was Nabiki's little sister who answered.  
"Oh no! Let me guess, you're here because she agreed to pose nude for your magazine!" Akane scoffed.  
"What? Of course not." Kinnosuke gasped, and tried to look appalled by the idea, though he found it pleasantly stimulating. "I simply came to see your sister. I don't suppose you could give us a few moments alone could you?" Kinnosuke asked.  
Nabiki's expression made it clear that she didn't want her sister to leave, which concerned Kinnosuke because either it meant he'd have a much harder time getting Nabiki into bed, or he'd have to satisfy two women at once and it was simply too early in the day to be exhausting that kind of energy.  
"I don't think it'd be proper for my sister to be alone in her room with a boy. Especially since she's _engaged_"  
"I heard about that, and I'm happy for her." Kinnosuke nodded, and whipped out another rose, "_You're_ engaged too, aren't you? He's unworthy you know . . . unworthy of your fair eyes, your beautiful voice . . . I won't be too long, I just came to talk . . . you know you've got such pretty eyes, they shine with intelligence and beauty . . . maybe I could have a talk with you sometime about . . . what love _really_ is"  
Akane blushed and shyly took the rose, "Sh-shure." She said and she wandered off.  
'Success!' Kinnosuke thought, now he was alone with Nabiki, he came inside her room and closed the door behind him, he smiled at Nabiki and she let out an exasperated sigh, she rolled her eyes.  
"Hey Nabi-chan," he said, "I came by to see if you were all right, and to apologize, I'm really, really sorry, I must have waited for you at the wrong place"  
"And you've come to get your money back." Nabiki reasoned.  
"No, no, no!" Kinnosuke cried, "You keep it, as proof of my sincere apology"  
"It's two hundred thousand yen . . . you're just giving me two hundred thousand yen?" Nabiki gave him an odd look.  
"Uh . . . yeah." Kinnosuke struggled to get the words out. True it wasn't really his money, but Harume Yoshmi's, however two hundred thousand yen was a lot to just give away to his rival, even if he was trying to win her over.  
Nabiki shrugged. "Fine then. I accept your apology . . . now go awa--"  
Before she could complete the sentence Kinnosuke revealed the rest of the bouquet, one dozen beautiful red roses, and offered them to Nabiki. "Accept this too? Please, Nabi-chan?" He said.  
"How'd you get these?" Nabiki asked.  
"Why, I bought them just for you . . . and to get through your sisters." Kinnosuke lied. It was true he'd gotten them for Nabiki, but he hadn't actually bought them, rather he'd charmed the girl at the vender to give him fifteen roses in exchange for a date. He was confident Nabiki would approve.  
"Buying me flowers now? You must really be sorry." Nabiki shrugged.  
"Actually, I was sort of hoping . . . you'd let me repair my shameful mistake and take you out again. Would you like to go ice skating"  
"I try to stay away from ice rinks, Mikado would probably be there and make me eat strawberries again . . . " Nabiki said darkly.  
"O--ka--y." Kinnosuke said. "How about the good old fashioned traditional date, the movies"  
"While Ryoga and I weren't exactly banned from that place for life, one hundred years is a long time." She noted his confused expression, and explained, "We snuck into a movie, got caught and I dared the guard to arrest us and . . . well he did"  
"I thought they could only throw you out, I didn't know they had the power to actually arrest people." Kinnosuke said.  
"That's exactly what I thought!" Nabiki cried.  
"I'm curious, is there any place at all in this city where you _haven't_ made some freakish enemy?" Kinnosuke laughed.  
"You know now that I think of it . . . I don't think there is." Nabiki shrugged. "You can go now"  
Kinnosuke shook his head, "Come on Nabi-chan, do you really hate me so much? Work with me, where can we go together where we don't need to worry about being arrested or forced to eat delicious fruits"  
"Kinnosuke, I'm not going anywhere with you, I'm engaged I cant just be dating every one who shows up on my door step"  
"I see . . . so you love this guy, eh"  
"Yes." Nabiki said firmly. Then not so firmly, "I'm uh . . . pretty sure"  
"He loves you too?" Kinnosuke said, disbelieving. It was the perfect time to spring his trap.  
"I'm certain of it." Nabiki nodded.  
"I'm sorry Nabi-chan, but I'm not so sure." Kinnosuke said, revealing to her the envelope containing the pictures of her boyfriend with Yoshimi and that other girl. He just hoped that she'd buy it.  
Nabiki looked over the pictures, her expression went from neutral, to an odd concern, then to complete rage, finally she sighed resignation. "Shocking, aren't they?" Kinnosuke said in a comforting tone.  
"How'd you get these"  
"I am aquainted with one, Hikaru Gosunkugi." Kinnosuke shrugged.  
"He'll be breathing through a straw by this time tomorrow!" Nabiki promised, slamming the envelope down on her desk, though Kinnosuke doubted she'd actually brutalize Gosunkugi herself, he didn't doubt she knew people who would. "What's your price?" She demanded.  
He licked his lips in confusion. "Price? Nabi-chan I . . ." without really meaning to he glanced at the pictures on her desk, to his surprise they were actually of Nabiki kissing Kuno, not her boyfriend being abducted by Yoshimi! He grinned wickedly realizing that she thought he was blackmailing her with them. Too good! Instead of making her boyfriend seem like a villain he could simply remind her of what a villain she really was! "I . . . would never dream of asking too much of you." Kinnosuke's smile was ear to ear. "Just . . . a little date and maybe a kiss like you gave him"  
"Like he gave me! _He_ kissed me!" Nabiki cried.  
"I don't think it really matters who kissed who." Kinnosuke shrugged, "What matters is what your future husband will think if he gets these pictures"  
"You rat." Nabiki scowled.  
"Don't be that way Nabi-chan, I'm your friend . . . but I'd like us to be more than that, for the time we'll have together anyway, before we go off to college"  
"I'm not going to college." Nabiki scoffed.  
"See? I wont be able to see you except on holidays, I need you _now_. If we don't do this, wont you be looking back the rest of your life wondering 'what if'? Let's not wonder Nabi-chan, I know you'll like me better than either one of them." Kinnosuke said.  
Nabiki lowered her head. "I'd rather be left to wonder. And if you cant see me every day, well that's too bad because we don't really see each other every day now anyway, I haven't seen you all summer and you're not necessarily in stitches"  
"On the outside." Kinnosuke said softly. "I've missed you so terribly, these feelings have welled up inside me and made themselves known. I have to have you, I'll do whatever it takes . . . even blackmail, though I'd hoped it wouldn't come to that"  
Nabiki shrugged in submission. "Maybe you are a worthy rival . . ." She sighed.  
"I'd be nothing without you . . ." He smiled.  
"Then we meet at six." Nabiki said firmly.  
"I was thinking we could leave now." Kinnosuke said, not wanting her to stand him up again.  
"And I was thinking if you don't give me time to get ready your chances of getting laid become negative ten, and that's factoring in the unlikely intoxication bonus if you can manage to get me drunk. You know I need two hours just to pick out my cloths"  
'They'll end up on my bedroom floor anyway.' Kinnosuke thought. "Fine." He allowed, "I'll pick you up here then? So we don't make any more mistakes"  
"Yeah, whatever." Nabiki shrugged. Kinnosuke smiled.  
"Won't you walk me to the door?" He asked.  
"Won't you burn in--"  
"Ah-ah-ah, temper, temper my goddess"  
Nabiki scoffed and led him out, they were immediately met by a guy with a mustache--whom Kinnosuke recognized as her father--glaring down at him.  
"Nabiki . . . who is this? Why were you two in your room alone"  
"Oh we were just talking." Kinnosuke smiled, having prepared for parental interference as well.  
"Talking about what? She did mention that she's engaged, didn't she?" Soun scowled. "Unless you can be a better contribution to my martial arts school than her current fiancee you and your unusually charming face are not permitted to be giving her flowers and talking to her alone behind closed doors"  
Kinnosuke chuckled, and gave Nabiki's father his final rose, then a charming smile. "I'm just an old friend of your beautiful daughter, that's all, we were just having a brief conversation, I would never dream of getting in between her and her true love. As a sign of my pure intentions, take this lovely red rose, it's soft dew kissed petals as innocent as"  
Soun raised an eyebrow at Kinnosuke and cut him off. "Do I look like the sort of man who wants some other man to give him a rose"  
Kinnosuke had to admit he really hadn't thought that out too well. "But . . . but where I come from roses are a symbol of strength!" He tried. "I'm uh . . . I'm from uh . . . the United States, and there it is customary to give roses to those people you respect people of power and prestige, I respect your daughter for her intellect and skill, I was hoping to go out with her just once before I head off to college. But I thank you, venerable, powerful sir, for raising such a goddess and allowing us mortals simply to gaze at her in awe! It takes a truly powerful man to sire such a child, and to raise her into the financial genius she is today"  
"Who are you trying to kid?" Nabiki demanded.  
But the target of Kinnosuke's words, her father, had tears in his eyes. "That's so _wonderful_!" He cried, "You have my permission to marry my daughter"  
"What? Daddy you cant be serious!" Nabiki shouted.  
Kinnosuke winked at Soun and grinned, "I may hold you up on that offer some day soon, master Tendo. How about giving it to me in writing"  
Nabiki held her head in her hands, Kinnosuke smiled and winked at her, though she didn't see it--her hands were over her eyes--she shuddered.  
As they reached the door Kinnosuke couldn't help but thank whatever power had made him so darn good . . . or lucky. Everything was going his way, thanks to some strange calamity he _owned_ Nabiki, for the moment anyway, and just waiting to see what she might do to regain control would be exhilarating. He bowed low to her in an attempt to see up her skirt which really wasn't too well thought out, especially since she was wearing shorts, then took his leave.

Nabiki scowled as she slammed the door. 'Thank goodness Akane wasn't here to see that.' She thought.  
Unfortunately Kasumi was, Nabiki didn't want to deal with her older sister's concerned 'you can talk to me' look, and so she stormed up to her room after slapping her father hard across the face.  
_Permitted_ to marry Kinnosuke now, was she? Forced under pain of losing Ryoga to date the smooth talking peacock, was she? Well she'd just see about that! So he thought he could compete with her? Be her equal? Nonsense! She'd put him in his place many times before, but now she'd have to do something big . . . something monumental!  
Or just something nasty.

Shampoo opened her eyes and saw nothing but darkness.  
She blinked a few times, and found that it was neither darker nor brighter when her eyes were closed or open, she was certain, it was just complete blackness.  
Her heart began to race, she felt panic welling up inside her, her eyes weren't working! They felt heavy, wet, was it blood? She couldn't focus them, couldn't see at all! How? What had caused this? She remembered Lo-Chun hugging her, but . . .  
She struggled not to let out a panicked whimper as her hand moved up to her eyes in one last attempt to deny the fear building inside her chest, her hand came to her face . . . it felt strange . . . wet and warm . . . rough . . . she could feel her hand on her face, but her fingers couldn't make out any of the features of her once fair face . . . her mouth felt unchanged, and her nose was fine, but her brow and her eyes . . .  
Acid! Her eyes had been burned away by acid!  
But what she feared was burned skin easily slid away, and she pulled the wet cloth from her face, glaring around to be sure no one noticed her momentary panic, and if indeed anyone had, why they had ignored her presence.  
She could still see well enough and she was relieved of that. She saw Lo-Chun sitting besides a fire, her back turned to her. Shampoo got up quickly and quietly, she snuck up on the disgrace of an amazon quietly, and punched her in the back of the head, Lo-Chun flew over the fire and rolled on the other side of it, coming up and glaring at Shampoo.  
"Stupid Lo-Chun!" Shampoo growled as the two girls stood on opposite ends of the small camp fire, glaring each other down, each illuminated by it's ghostly red glow.  
"Hey, for the record: I knew you were back there." Lo-Chun said, rubbing the back of her head. "I just did not think you would hit me"  
"What you think shampoo do?" Shampoo demanded, realizing she and Lo-Chun's conversation was being spoken in Japanese for some reason.  
"Well I spared your life did I not?" Lo-Chun scoffed. "I thought we could be pals"  
"Lies!" Shampoo cried, she'd already come up with a perfectly logical explanation for her headache and her apparent black out . . . she'd been hugging Lo-Chun and suddenly a tree fell over, it hit her on the head laying her low and the skinny assassin had gone into her maniacal victory laugh, convinced herself somehow that she'd won and ran off to tell the world.  
Of course that begged the question of why Lo-Chun was with her now, but Shampoo decided not to let it bother her.  
"Well . . . regardless . . ." Lo-Chun said, "I have given much thought to your words Shampoo, and I will return peacefully . . . I will face elder cologne and confess to whatever crime she thinks I have committed"  
"Good, we take boat back to Great Grandmother quickly." Shampoo said.  
"Uh . . . no." Lo-Chun shook her head, "That is unacceptable, we need to get back as soon as possible. I don't suppose there is any way we can get back tonight, is there"  
Shampoo scoffed and sat down in front of the fire. Lo-Chun shrugged and did the same on the opposite end.  
"So . . . how's your head?" The skinny girl asked.  
"Been better." Shampoo admitted. "How your head"  
"Been better." Lo-Chun sighed. "I am sorry, all I could do was put a wet cloth over your head, I was not sure if I should move you. I thought such a hit might have paralyzed you or at least given you a speech impediment or something . . . you seem physically able, but as for the second fear of course I cannot tell since this is how you normally speak"  
"Shut up!" Shampoo cried, throwing a rock at the other girl, it hit Lo-Chun right between the eyes.  
Of course it would have missed if the skinny girl hadn't tried to dodge to the left, so really it wasn't so much a matter of Shampoo hitting Lo-Chun, but rather Lo-Chun catching the rock with the one part of her body that had no feeling--her empty head.  
"Maybe you talk Japanese good, but that rock smarter than you!" Shampoo informed Lo-Chun.  
The other girl shrugged helplessly and rubbed her forehead. "How was I to know it was a homing rock?" She demanded. She paused for a moment, then said, "How did you catch me, coming here by boat"  
"Great Grandmother pay airfare." Shampoo said.  
"She was that determined to make sure that I did not meet with Set?" Lo-Chun scowled.  
"You no kill Sun Set?" Shampoo asked skeptically. Of course even though Sun Set was half the fighter Shampoo was, Shampoo knew that was more than enough to handle Lo-Chun. It was very likely that the reason Lo-Chun was being so agreeable now was because she wanted Shampoo to protect her from an amazon lynch mob.  
"We must take a plane then. And soon." Lo-Chun said darkly. "I do not care what part of Japan it takes me to as long as Japan is where it takes me"  
'Definitely the lynch mob.' Shampoo decided.

Ranma and Ryoga finished the somewhat ceremonial pre-battle insult exchange, and the first blow had been struck . . . by Ranma. The second blow . . . also Ranma. The third through fifteenth . . . were Ranma's.  
In retrospect Ryoga had to admit an entire summer of running from angry mobs, and sleeping with Nabiki really hadn't helped his martial arts at all. He tried to keep his eyes on Ranma, but the pigtailed boy was faster than ever! Or maybe he was exactly as fast as ever and Ryoga had gotten slower . . .  
Ryoga didn't want to accidentally destroy the dojo, so the typical battle--mostly involving ki blasts and the hurling of giant rocks--was quite impossible. Ranma leapt over his head, Ryoga's hand shot up, too slow to grab Ranma's leg, Ranma knocked it back down.  
"You're _pathetic_, I don't even feel _good_ about winning this fight." Ranma sneered, crossing his arms defiantly, Ryoga finally managed to hit him . . . in the face.  
"I bet you feel better now!" Ryoga sneered back, Ranma kicked him in the chest.

Nabiki was just about finished planning Kinnosuke's demise when Yutaro appeared behind her. "Nabiki . . . we need to talk"  
Nabiki sighed. "What"  
"Not here." Yutaro said. "Let's try the park"  
"Uh . . . o--kay." Nabiki frowned. She followed Yutaro out of the house and towards the park. She attempted to finish thinking of how to eliminate Kinnosuke as they walked, she became so focused on the image of him hanging with his genitals hooked and chained to a termite ridden bridge over a lake of piranha that she missed what Yutaro said to her along the way, she was only snapped out of her trance when Yutaro rushed towards her and knocked her out of the road right before the speeding taxi could make her into a very sexy hood ornament.  
"Are you paying any attention at all?" Yutaro cried.  
"Should I have?" Nabiki asked brightly. "I'm sorry boss, so what were you talking about"  
"Nabiki, you're a clever girl, far too clever for this disgusting carrier"  
"You knockin' your own job, Yutaro?"  
"Uh . . . yes well I'm a director as well . . . and a terrible pervert so it all evens out"  
"Evens out?" Nabiki raised both eyebrows at him. "What are you talking about?"  
"Never mind. Anyway you're above all this, Nabiki." Yutaro said.  
"Why do I not like the way you said that?" Nabiki sighed.  
"I've been talking to . . . some people. They don't seem to think it's such a good idea that you be seen in my movie . . ." Yutaro shrugged. "I agree." He held up his hand before Nabiki could bite his head off, "It's nothing your father or sisters said, it's a number of reasons I've come to on my own"  
"And what are they?" Nabiki asked.  
"Well . . . this might seem silly, but . . . for starters, I've found someone _better_." Yutaro said. "Now it's not that I don't still think you're fantastic, I looked forward to our uh . . . 'scenes' together with much zeal," Yutaro shrugged, "You're beautiful, smart, and if you got implants you could be the most sought after in the business"  
"I need implants!?" Nabiki cried looking at her chest. She'd never thought of herself as lacking in the T&A department, Yutaro must be insane! Maybe she should ask Ryoga later . . . "Implants?" She said again.  
"But the fact is that I believe you'd have a brighter future as a lawyer, an accountant, a drug lord, a comic book artist, or some similar position"  
"Are you kidding? If these were any bigger I'd look ridiculous! Like Shampoo!" Nabiki cried.  
Yutaro massaged his head. "Listen Nabiki, the forces of evil need your talents far more than the forces of perversion. You could conquer the world of smut as a porn actress . . . but you could conquer the world as a drug lord." "It's hard to tell if you're being sarcastic or just plain insulting!" Nabiki exclaimed. She was still looking at her breasts. She tried playing around with them, they didn't seem that small.  
"Stop that before you make my nose bleed!" Yutaro said quickly, grabbing her hands which she yanked away.  
"And what's with those jobs? Lawyers, drug lords, sure, but accountants, comic book guys? What've they got to do with evil?" Nabiki demanded.  
"Accountants, and comic book artists really are minions of evil." Yutaro shrugged. "I've got nothing against the inkers mind you, but the artists! Those vile artists with all of their . . . art . . . making and . . . stuff! Anyway I'm just offering you alternatives"  
"What about the artists who're inkers as well?" Nabiki asked.  
"They don't exist." Yutaro scoffed. "Too much work for one soul, evil or not"  
"What are the other reasons?" Nabiki demanded.  
"Well frankly you're too much of a risk"  
"A risk?" Nabiki demanded. "You mean you thought I'd whip out a gun and shoot up the set before you fired me"  
"No, don't be stupid. It's just that you could be camera shy, or you might have qualms about having sex with strangers, performing rape scenes with giant space alien puppets with fifteen busy tentacles"  
"You never mentioned anything about a puppet before!" Nabiki pointed out. Fifteen tentacles . . . she was oddly more disappointed about being fired now.  
"--or perhaps you might even have some religious problem with being a lesbian, there's quite a few lesbian scenes in the script." Yutaro continued without listening to Nabiki's interruption.  
"There's a script?" Nabiki gasped.  
"Didn't you read it?" Yutaro demanded.  
"All you gave me was a folded up piece of paper with your phone number and some gross little drawings of stick figures with big balloons for breasts in various disgusting, perverted positions!" Nabiki cried. She frowned. "Oh sweet angry bladder fish was that crime against art supposed to be the script"  
"That was the script"  
"Oh you gotta be _kidding_ me!" Nabiki scoffed.  
"Normally when I'm going to do a movie the girls all want to sleep with me before we start filming, this way I know if they're any good or not. You on the other hand? Well I haven't got a clue since you haven't put out." Yutaro shrugged.  
"You never asked!" Nabiki protested.  
"Would you have complied if I'd done so?" Yutaro asked disbelieving.  
"Well yeah, if you asked me under the right conditions." Nabiki shrugged.  
"Oh? Well in that case how about we go have sex right now?" Yutaro asked.  
"My being fired is not 'under the right conditions'"  
"Figures." Yutaro smiled.  
"So I suppose my replacement puts out all the time"  
"Oh heavens yes!" Yutaro cried.  
"Who is it? It's Nodoka isn't it!" Nabiki cried. "She's forty you know! I don't know how she manages to look as good as she does, but she's gotta be forty or at least in her late thirties"  
"Actually your sister Akane wanted the job, we went into the closet for her interview. Best one I've had since I came into the business"  
Without a moment's hesitation Nabiki punched Yutaro in the jaw. "You did _what_ to my baby sister?"  
"Gah! That _hurt_!" Yutaro pouted.  
"That was the idea!" Nabiki growled.  
Yutaro held up his hands in surrender, "I was joking, it really is Nodoka, she just told me to tell you it was Akane, said it'd be funny!"  
"I'll hit her too." Nabiki scowled. "Old . . . thing! How can you take her over me? I'm young and ten times as pretty!"  
"But she's amazing in bed. Besides, age is just a number in this industry, it's when you start getting all wrinkled that the viewers begin to care!"  
"I'll get the stupid implants!" Nabiki pleaded, and Yutaro seemed to consider . . . until she added "But you're paying for them!"  
"Uh . . . no. Sorry."  
"I guess this means I'm not getting my ridiculous pay check?" Nabiki pouted.  
"Hah! So it really was ridiculous!" Yutaro cried triumphantly.  
"Well cant I still do those other movies?" Nabiki asked. "You said other directors wanted me, cant I work for them too"  
"Nope. They want Nodoka now." Yutaro said apologetically.  
"Already!?" Nabiki wailed.  
"Yeah . . . we did it on a digital camera hooked up to the net, they watched. After she sleeps with a few more guys Nodoka will wake up a star."  
Nabiki sighed and shook her head. "Vision of the future . . . failing. Beautiful life of comfort . . . . fading. Endless casual sex . . . temporarily out of reach. Self-respect . . . returning for some reason . . ."  
"So . . . no hard feelings about being let go?" Yutaro asked.  
Nabiki licked her lips in consideration. "I'd say the pain in your jaw is your answer." Nabiki sighed.  
Yutaro slapped her on the shoulder. "I knew you'd be mature about it. Hey, now you don't have to worry about any more family courts, right? See you around Tendo . . . if I ever do action themed porn, I'll give you a call."  
"Nodoka is a martial artist." Nabiki pointed out.  
"Oh . . . then I guess I'll just call her again. Well I'll find some way for us to work together in the future, until then!" Yutaro said, waving and running off.  
"Don't bother." Nabiki scoffed but Yutaro was already too far away to hear her.  
"Nabiki Tendo! I've found you!" Kuno cried.  
"When it rains it pours." Nabiki sighed.

Ryoga and Ranma had taken a short break to collect themselves, Ranma was the obvious winner of the short skirmish but Ryoga refused to acknowledge it, insisting that he simply needed some time to catch his breath--even though he didn't--after which he would easily defeat his rival--even though he probably wouldn't. Not easily that is.  
"Y'know what? It's all that time you spend with Nabiki." Ranma said.  
"What's that?" Ryoga gave Ranma a confused look.  
"You were much easier to beat than before, I mean seriously it's not often that I have such an easy time getting rid of you." Ranma shrugged.  
"You didn't beat me!" Ryoga cried.  
"Yeah whatever. Anyway I heard from this guy who read this article in some magazine that too much sex results in physical weakness"  
"You made that up just now!" Ryoga cried, even though he'd been told the same thing by his mother, he'd always just assumed she was lying in an attempt to scare him into celibacy.  
"No way! It's a fact." The pigtailed boy shrugged.  
"Because you heard it from some guy?" Ryoga reasoned sarcastically.  
"Exactly." Ranma nodded gravely. "So . . . since no sex means no weakness, maybe it's good that you and Nabiki are about to break up"  
"We are not!" Ryoga protested.  
"Puh-lease!" Ranma rolled his eyes, "Drop the saint act you know you want to know what she did. And you know I can tell you. And I know that once you know you'll drop her like a ton of bricks."  
"If it's that bad I'm sure I'll be happier not knowing." Ryoga scoffed. However he had to admit he was curious, however armed with the realization that if it were all that bad he'd probably only be miserable once Ranma told him he was content to ignore the issue unless Nabiki decided he needed to know, in which case he'd accept a no doubt watered down version of it and then probably throw himself over a bridge.  
"Maybe I should tell you, it might just tick you off enough for you to be an actual challenge," Ranma was saying before the door swung open and Akane marched right in.  
"Dojo's still in one piece . . . are you guys feeling okay? You're not sick are you"  
"Naw, poor oversexed Ryoga just couldn't put up a challenge for me this time." Ranma chuckled, Ryoga tried hard not to punch him. Then he asked himself why he was doing so, and promptly punched Ranma in the nose.  
Akane smiled weakly and sniffed a beautiful red rose. "Uh . . . dad sent me out here to tell you guys the trial is over."  
"What was the verdict?" Ryoga asked.  
"Uh . . . basically there's nothing we can do to stop Nabiki from doing what she's going to do."  
"Can we tell Ryoga what that is?" Ranma asked, rubbing his nose.  
"It doesn't matter, because I talked her out of it myself!" Akane said proudly. "It was so easy, I bet she was just trying to see if anyone cared enough about her to tell her 'no', y'know? Her whole life she's pretty much had it her own way, so I bet she just wants some restrictions." Akane smiled.  
"Or she lied to you to get you to leave her the heck alone." Ranma said.  
Akane's smile remained for a little while longer, then it disintegrated. "Gosh I'm gullible." She said.  
"Well . . . yes. But we didn't want to say anything." Ryoga said, feeling he needed to contribute something to this odd conversation, then regretting that he'd done it.  
"That's it! I'll wring her neck!" Akane roared, she ran outside.  
Ranma chuckled, "Well, round two!"  
Ryoga scoffed and was about to answer when he heard a scream.  
Akane's scream.  
He and Ranma rushed out to see what was going on, there was Akane, lying in a heap on the ground, standing over her was a young man with blue-black hair, and a long brown jacket, fanning himself lightly with a green paper fan. He laughed bitterly, "It's nothing personal, however we must always be wary of the company we keep, and you keep poor company indeed." The young man chuckled.  
"Hey you, what do you think you're doing?" Ranma roared.  
"Why, taking a hostage of course." The young man chuckled, "I am called Maro, and I have come for Han Lo-Chun!"  
"You that guy who's supposed to have beaten her eh? Well she aint interested in you so run along, and leave Akane alone, she's got nothing to do with that moron amazon assassin. Now go before I get nasty." Ranma growled.  
Maro chuckled. "Beaten her? I believe you are mistaken, if I had beaten that murderous slime she'd be dead and my enmity with her would end . . . after I had properly desecrated her corps and thrown her remains into a bathtub filled with acid . . . I wouldn't be standing before you, holding your fiancee hostage, now would I? Therefore if you want her back come to--"  
"I think we'll be taking her back right _now_!" Ryoga shouted, as Ranma lunged forward, and he followed behind. Maro waved his fan and flames irrupted around Ryoga and Ranma, there was a deafening explosion and Ryoga felt the flames crawling all over his body, consuming him, driving him mad with pain!  
But Ranma just pressed on, he scoffed, "Are illusions all you've got? Maybe they'll work on a macho-chick moron like Akane, but you're gonna have to dish out better to stop me you creep"  
Ryoga's head swam. An illusion? Impossible! It hurt so much, he saw his own skin burning away, his eyes hazed over, his mind began to slow, he saw red.  
He heard Maro grunt as something--probably Ranma's fist--hit him, he heard Ranma shout something but his ears were ringing, he couldn't make it out.  
It couldn't be an illusion! It was real, Ranma wasn't affected because he'd been at the edge of the blast, Ryoga was on fire, he was going to die, he couldn't move!  
It was all over . . .

Ranma scowled when he saw Ryoga collapse, fat lot of help he was! 'Useless dope! I'll do it myself then!' He thought, launching into another attack, hurling a hundred blows in a single second.  
"If you want to see your fiancee again," Maro said, moving nimbly but only barely managing to dodge Ranma's attacks, "come to the Furinkan Gym tonight at midnight, otherwise I cannot guarantee her continued health. Just the two of you now, if I so much as sense another soul she dies"  
"Why are ya doin' this if all ya want is that skinny brat, Lo-Chun? Why don't you go after her and leave us alone"  
Maro scowled, "When you get to Furinkan Gym, I'll be the one asking the questions Saotome. Now don't forget, you've got until midnight to organize your affairs, time to say goodbye to your family and write your will, time is a gift and I grant such to so very few. Midnight, you and Hibiki be there or I kill Miss. Tendo"  
Ranma scowled and threw another few hundred punches, but Maro nimbly leapt back towards the Tendo roof, holding Akane hover his shoulder.  
That's when Ranma saw it, a glimmer of hope, help from someone who might not just keel over like that idiot Ryoga!  
"Unhand Akane you fiend!" Happosai cried. (Meh, Ranma's getting desperate)  
"Eh? Stay out of this old geezer, you're not on my list and I don't need two hostages!" Maro snapped.  
"Happo Fire Burst!" Happosai roared.  
"No master!" Soun shouted.  
"Not that!" Genma cried.  
Too late. Happosai hurled his fire ball at Maro, it exploded in a violent light, Ranma didn't care that it might kill Maro, he could only think that Akane was going to get caught in it too!  
"No!" He cried, finding himself already running for Akane. But Maro didn't seem afraid, he scowled and drew a red fan from his coat, he waved it towards the ball of fire at the last second and it simply disappeared.  
Ranma didn't hesitate a millisecond, his rescue dash became an attack, he hurled a fist towards the back of Maro's head, the other boy was too busy taunting Happosai to dodge! "Put out your fire did I, old man? Shall I blow out the candle that is your life as well"  
Ranma lunged forward and struck, Maro flew forward though he was only meant to fall down. Ranma heard a satisfying and yet terrifying crunch when he hit the back of the other boy's head.

Jun watched intently. He was disappointed. Not in Maro, he'd never expected the would-be assassin to succeed, Maro was just the tool.  
It was Ryoga and Ranma that disappointed Jun. Ryoga had failed to even see through Maro's illusion, and though it seemed Ranma had just landed the killing blow it had taken him entirely too long considering Maro's actual level of skill compared to what Jun was looking for in Ranma and Ryoga.  
What he expected to find but was so utterly disappointed to see lacking. Ranma might be able to stomp on a failure like Maro, but as far as Jun was concerned that wasn't saying much at all, and it said even less for Ryoga who'd been defeated almost instantaneously.  
And yet he didn't look away. Not yet. Something told him if he just held out faith a little longer . . .

Ranma rushed over to Maro, he was still holding Akane, though his eyes had rolled back into his head in death.  
Ranma had killed him. He'd taken a human life.  
And he didn't care. He'd worry about it after he knew Akane was safe.  
He knelt over them, Akane wasn't moving, she wasn't breathing, his heart leapt up into his throat and he fought back the emotions that flooded through him. He reached out to touch her . . .  
And suddenly Maro's hand shot out to grab his, the other boy's eyes rolled back to the proper position, he snickered and tightened his grip on Ranma's hand. "I guess you don't see through 'all' of my illusions too well, do you?"  
Maro laughed, Ranma punched.  
Maro grunted and flew towards the house, slamming through the wall.  
"NNNOOOO!" Soun moaned pathetically. "Burn it! Just burn it down already! I'll live in the streets!"  
Maro struggled up out of the rubble, he scowled and leapt for Ranma.  
"I believe a damaged wall is the least of our concerns right now." Kasumi pointed out.  
"Oh right." Soun nodded. "Ranma! Save Akane . . . then fix my wall!" He shouted.  
Ranma scowled as Maro came for him, then Maro leapt over Ranma's head so nimbly Ranma felt like some stupid slow turtle, or maybe a rock . . . no . . . even worse, he felt like Ryoga.  
Maro landed nimbly behind him . . . and made his mistake.  
If it had been Ryoga, Ranma could have counted on feeling a very sharp pan in his back, Maro had Ranma's back exposed he could strike. It might not finish the match, but it could cause some damage. Instead Maro didn't attack, he went for Akane and as he tried to lift her again Ranma found he had plenty of time to turn around, take a couple of quick steps up to Maro and grab him.  
Maro squirmed, Ranma held him all the tighter . . . then Maro did something unexpected . . .  
"Ugh! Let me go! Please don't hurt me, I'm _begging_ you! I'll do anything, anything at all!"  
Ranma loosened his grip, expecting Maro to try to escape, but he didn't. Ranma was a little disappointed, he'd sort of been hoping Maro would try to, then he could hit him again.  
Instead Maro bowed before Ranma . . . no he groveled! "Please master! Please don't harm me!"  
Ranma cracked his knuckles in an intimidating fashion. "Well that's up to you pal. Now you're gonna answer my questions. For starters, why were you after Akane?"  
"I wasn't!" Maro cried.  
"So ya attacked her fer no _reason_?" Ranma demanded.  
"What? Of course not. I attacked her so I could use her as bait. To lure you and Hibiki to your deaths of course." Maro said simply.  
"And what've ya got against us?" Ranma demanded.  
"You're alive. That's enough." Maro said simply.  
"But ya targeted us personally? Knew our names even. So how'd that happen? Cant just be a random attack"  
"Well . . ." Maro shifted uneasily. "I'm sure that maniac amazon told you all about our uh . . . relationship"  
"Shampoo never mentioned you!" Ranma blurted, then said, "Oh wait, you mean Lotion right"  
"Yes . . . well everything she told you was a lie"  
"I cant deny it since I never paid enough attention to her to know what the heck she was talking about half the time." Ranma pointed out.  
Maro raised an eyebrow. "Can you remember nothing of what she told you"  
"Let me see . . . uh . . . yes, once she . . . no . . . I think she mentioned . . . no . . . uh . . . she can bake like it's nobody's business." Ranma offered. He heard a young woman scoff and quickly added, "But not as well as Kasumi."  
Maro looked stunned. "She spent her time here baking!?" He roared.  
"We've still got some of her cookies left if that's what you're after." Kasumi offered.  
"Though you'd have to beg Akane to forgive you for attacking her before we'd let you have any." Ranma added.  
"I come not for cookies! I come for vengeance! Now tell me all that you know about Lo-Chun!"  
"That's the sorta thing you'd ask Ryoga, he spent a lot more time with her than I did." Ranma said, he purposely failed to mention that Kasumi had too, without Kasumi they'd be stuck eating Akane's cooking, by comparison Ryoga was expendable.  
"Oh I will force the information out of Hibiki all right!" Maro cried.  
"Couldn't you just ask him?" Kasumi asked.  
"No! That just wouldn't be _cool_! Besides, we assassins don't _ask_, we _take_ by force! And if something is offered . . . we _take_ by force _anyway_! I'll be back to take the answers to my questions! Oh, and to _kill_ you and Hibiki." Maro sneered at Ranma.  
Ranma shook his head. "Better luck tomorrow?" He offered. He'd quickly forgotten that Maro had put up a bit of a fight and had already decided that he could take the boy again with his hands tied behind his back.  
Maro scowled. "I will not be denied. You and Hibiki will die, marking my ascension into the guild! And then Han Lo-Chun too shall die, marking my ascension to glory!"  
Ranma poked him, Maro leapt back about ten paces and screamed hysterically. "Don't touch me! Don't touch _meee_! Ugh"  
"A new enemy." Soun said dramatically as Maro ran off down the street, stopping traffic at one point so he could throw himself over a taxi and cling to the advertisement on top so as to get a free ride (Kids who read this story despite my complaints, **don't** try that at home, it doesn't work in real life, you'll be **killed**)  
"A _powerful_ new enemy." Genma agreed.  
"What're ya nuts?" Ranma cried. "The guy's a _moron_, only slightly more intimidating that a flea and less challenging than Kuno!"  
"Oh . . . we were just trying to uh . . ." Soun trailed off searching for a word that probably didn't exist.  
"We only wanted to um . . ." Genma did the same thing.  
Ranma shook his head. He missed fighting this Maro guy already.  
But still he looked to Ryoga and Akane, both were unconscious. He frowned bitterly, Maro was no Kuno, he was a force to be reckoned with . . .  
And yet his idea of a dramatic escape was running off screaming like a lunatic and then jumping onto the roof of a taxi . . . it was kind of hard to take him seriously.  
No wonder he was looking for Lo-Chun, those two were made for each other . . . by some great universal power with a very bad sense of humor . . .  
Again Ranma shook his head--which was beginning to ache--and stomped off towards the house. "Kasumi, you promised a cookie to the winner of mine and Ryoga's duel? Well he's unconscious so I guess that makes me the winner!"  
"Oh right. I'll make a whole batch for our tired champion." Kasumi nodded, she frowned at Ryoga and Akane as if she expected them to suddenly jump up and plea for cookies too. Akane stirred, but neither of them got up.  
"They'll be fine." Happosai said. Suddenly he whacked Ranma on the head and Ranma fell over. "But the cookies are mine"  
"Kind of sad really." Ukyo said. "Ryoga and Akane are out cold, might have concussions or something, the guy who did it just got away and we're just standing here on the lawn talking about cookies when we could be calling the cops, or an ambulance. Are our lives so warped? Have we actually gotten so used to this sort of thing?"  
"You can have a cookie too." Kasumi offered.  
"All right!" Ukyo cheered and forgot all about what she'd just been saying.  
"Bu-hut those are muh-hy cookies!" Happosai sobbed.  
Ranma rubbed his head. Had they all gotten used to such an abnormal life? What was normal anyway? Well now that Akane would survive he no longer saw any reason to be all dramatic so he left her on the lawn for someone else to clean up . . . no one did, and eventually she stomped in with some dandelions in her hair. No one bothered to get Ryoga, though later it started to rain so Kasumi suggested Ranma do so.  
He was going to do it too, once his TV show was over, only that big German shepherd Mercedes showed up with P-Chan's curly tail sticking out of it's mouth so Ranma figured that there wasn't much he could do . . . plus he had a stomach ache from eating too many cookies so he really didn't fancy trying to wrestle a pig from the jaws of a German shepherd the size of a small horse.  
Ryoga was a tough kid, he'd take care of himself.

Jun scowled, Ranma and Ryoga? Jokes! Utter jokes! Ranma of course might show some promise, but not a great deal. And Ryoga? A pathetic waste of life,the boy didn't deserve to draw breath, he was a drain on the etiology, or economy or something like that.  
Still no sign of Han, and of course Jun knew if she didn't want to be found she wouldn't be, still her absence concerned him. She had run from Maro several times now, Jun wasn't entirely sure why but now seeing Maro against Ranma he had a guess. To say that Han was weak minded would be something of an understatement, and Maro's illusions seemed to have some sort of power over morons--Hibiki and this Tendo girl--leaving them helpless.  
Was it possible that with those fans as his weapons Maro could finally end his feud with Lo-Chun? He'd certainly improved in skill, he was close to the level Han had been at when she'd finished her training under Jun, and he had been limiting himself by using non-lethal attacks, in a real fight how much more powerful might he be? Could he kill Han Lo-Chun?  
And how would the guild elders respond to a failure like him defeating one of the guild's most popular young stars? If Jun's current plan failed how would they respond to the fact that Jun himself had slaughtered an apprentice level assassin for the two bronze rings he'd given to Maro? Certainly if his plan succeeded all would be forgiven but if it failed?  
His mind wandered back to Han's disappearance. Perhaps he'd be able to blame it all on her, claim that she'd gone rouge? That he'd tried to save the apprentice? Yes, that might work. It would be her word against his and where the heck was she to defend her not so good name?

Ushio Koruda massaged his forehead, he felt ill.  
Tomoko and Anju were out on a date. Not with each other, but together. He wasn't sure how it worked, but apparently there were two boys, two girls, they were paired off and it was a date. What had they called it? A group thing? Nonsense!  
Unfortunately it meant that Ushio himself had been forced to train the students, and after a few bouts the children all adapted a single, terribly painful technique that Ushio himself was unable to block at first simply because at the first time his mind had been wandering, and thereafter he'd been in too much pain to concentrate on blocking. It had been too unexpected and the pain seemed to linger for a very long time, impairing his ability to walk and resulting in him performing his martial arts with both hands held over his . . . uh . . . anyway after the fifth blow it seemed Anju would forever remain an only child, at the tenth Ushio gave them all the stupid black belts and told their parents that their training was complete and it would not be necessary for them to return . . . ever.  
Aside from that Ushio had to handle the wandering martial artist that showed up to challenge him. Some insane kid with a moose who kept calling him 'Saotome'.  
Ushio had lost, he blamed it on the burning pain coming from his most absolute weakest of spots. If Tomoko were here she could have handled it. Darn girl just had to go off and satisfy those primal urges, curse her and all woman kind!  
Soon . . . soon the tournament would begin. Tomoko and Anju, along with more of Ushio's prized fighters, and even a couple of ringers if he could manage it.  
He scowled. His two best students were girls! Everyone knew girls were weaker than boys! He'd get creamed unless . . .  
Hmm . . . the boy with the glasses had defeated him rather soundly. "You there, what was your name again"  
"My name is Mousse and you know it is Mousse, Saotome!" Mousse cried.  
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Say! How would you like to compete against the Tendo Training Hall in a great, grand tournament"  
"Hmm?" Mousse frowned. "Tendo Hall?" He pulled a pair of glasses over his eyes. "You are not Ranma Saotome." He stated, though he didn't sound entirely sure.  
Ranma Saotome? Of course! "You have a quarrel with Ranma Saotome?"  
"Indeed." Mousse said. "He has stolen my love away from me!"  
"Yes. Uh-huh. I don't care. Anyway how you like a chance to fight him?"  
"Wha?t"  
"A chance to fight Ranma Saotome . . . for my martial arts school . . . at a spectacular tournament. I can pay you. I can pay you whatever you want!"  
"You cannot give me what I want." Mousse said.  
His moose bellowed, Mousse turned towards the animal, quickly removing his glasses as he did. "I am sorry Lo-Chun, really I am but Shampoo remains the only woman for me . . . it would never work out between us because . . . well frankly you annoy me, though your newfound ability to remain quiet for more than five minutes is quite wonderful, and I hope you will continue to cooperate as I drag--er escort you back to your death--er I mean to Elder Cologne. You still have a special place in my heart so please do not sit on me again."  
Ushio frowned. The boy was insane. "So will you fight for my school?"  
"Hmm? But I just told you that you have not the power to give me what I want!"  
Ushio nodded, he dove into his 'Enemies' album and produced a file. "Mousse. Don't know why I didn't recognize you. Skill rating B? Well that cant be right." Ushio erased the B and wrote an A. "There, I believe you will find you can move faster and punch harder now." Ushio pointed out.  
"I feel no different." Mousse pointed out.  
"Yes, but you must now be Saotome's equal, since it says here that you are."  
"Oh . . . I see."  
"Now, what is it you want? You want Shampoo don't you? And according to this detailed information here the only way for you to get Shampoo is to defeat Ranma Saotome? I offer you a chance to defeat him with an audience watching you, a chance to destroy him before a crowd, and then destroy his allies until you stand at the top of the winner's pyramid, and all in the name of the Kordua School of Combat! How can anyone deny you your Shampoo then."  
Mousse nodded vigorously. "Yes! Yes of course! Not even that old ghoul could refuse to give Shampoo to me! But . . . I know better than to suppose that I can simply defeat Ranma Saotome in fair combat"  
"Fair!?" Ushio cried. "Who ever mentioned the word 'fair?'"  
"Cheat?" Mousse frowned.  
"In so many words . . ." Ushio shrugged.  
"For my beloved Shampoo . . . I shall." Mousse nodded.  
Ushio nodded back, feeling a little better. This boy sure was fanatical about shampoo . . . but then with his long hair Ushio supposed he'd have to be. "Anju, Tomoko, Mousse." Ushio counted on three fingers. Perhaps he could find two more ringers, then he wouldn't have to use his own students. After all, it was pretty clear how well they'd fared against the Tendo champions.  
Mousse was a good start, maybe he could use a few more of Tendo's rivals, Ranma Saotome could be made into a rallying call for the Koruda team . . . Ushio looked over his lists. Tatewaki Kuno would enjoy a chance to face Saotome . . . but if Tendo's daughter Akane got involved there could be complications. And Kuno's skill rating was a D. Ryoga Hibiki . . .  
No, he was engaged to Tendo's daughter too. Must be some girl to hold down two fiancees. Oh wait, Tendo had three.  
Ukyo? Unlikely.  
Tendo's various offspring were off limits of course.  
But then . . . some man named Tofu?  
"Hmm . . ." Ushio smiled. "A history of mental illness, obsessed with Tendo's third daughter . . . excellent knowledge of pressure points eh?" He laughed maniacally, despite the confused look Mousse was giving him.

Maro was fuming! He'd failed? He'd _failed_! Curses, here he'd thought Jun was giving him an easy mission.  
But of course why would he? It made perfect sense now, oh yes, Jun wanted him to prove his worthiness as an assassin! Well, Maro would rise to the challenge!  
"Ask Ryoga" Saotome had said.  
No.  
Assassins don't 'ask'.  
They _take_.  
And at just the right moment . . . he'd _take_ what he wanted from Ryoga Hibiki. But first he'd observe him and learn all that he needed to learn about him to destroy him . . . then he'd get rid of Saotome with a few well placed explosives and bada bing bada boom, he'd be a real assassin at last!

Meanwhile, Nabiki was once again out with Tatewaki Kuno. He hadnt really offered her anything in exchange for this, but she was fuming, she had to tell someone about all this and Kuno had been standing right there. Besides, if she told Kasumi or Akane they'd be judgmental, her father would probably break down, Kuno listened intently to her explanation of the situation . . . she'd lost the job she'd really never had, and to Ranma's mother no less! She had only been accepted by idiot imitation colleges like Marvard, and was annoyed with Kinnosuke though she hadnt really told Kuno about the blackmail, she wasn't sure if he'd understand her not wanting the world to know about their little kiss. Also she was going insane trying to think of where to go next with her life. Having super powers wasn't coming in as handy as she'd originally thought, especially since she had to commit herself to celibacy for at least three days just to use them.  
"I've got no future, my plans are ruined!" Nabiki moaned.  
"So make new plans." Kuno sort of scoffed.  
"No time! I'm eighteen, half my life is _over_!" She cried.  
"Nabiki Tendo . . . the human life span is . . . somewhat _longer_ than that . . ."  
"Hah!" Nabiki scoffed back at him.  
"Anyway, you do not have to be accepted to a fine college to attend one."  
"Come again?" Nabiki demanded.  
"Well when you have money--" Kuno began, but Nabiki cut him off.  
"Of course!" Nabiki laughed, it was so obvious, why hadnt she thought of it before? "I'll find Yoshimi, we'll go to China, I'll drown her butt in one of those magic springs, jump in, assume her identity with cold water and . . ." she frowned, Kuno was just staring blankly at her.  
The word 'blankly' here means he seemed to be listening but not really understanding, still there was something going on in that head of his. He stared at her for a moment longer, not long enough to make her feel uncomfortable, but long enough for her to notice. Finally he snapped out of it and said, "I am afraid you lost me at 'China'."  
"Long story, I'll explain some other time." Nabiki said simply.  
"Why not now?" Kuno asked. "Your melodious voice drifts through my system and somehow makes the day seem . . . great"  
Nabiki frowned. "Can I have some of your DNA?" She asked suddenly.  
Kuno frowned back at her. Even frowning he looked kinda cute. Had she just thought that? "Why would you need this?" He asked.  
"I want to try to clone you and my fiance: Ryoga together into one person." Nabiki said simply. She was going to emphasize 'fiance' to remind Kuno that she was engaged and his smooth pickup lines weren't appreciated.  
Except that they were, so she didn't bother.  
Without warning Kuno leaned over and kissed her again, she felt like she should be annoyed by this . . . she wasn't. It lasted no longer than their first kiss but this time they chose to end it . . . reluctantly . . . rather than being interrupted. Nabiki wondered briefly if it was too soon to . . . gah!  
What sort of _person_ was she if she couldn't keep impure thoughts out of her head? And who cared? It was _her_ head anyway. If anything came of it she did happen to be possessed by an ancient Chinese spirit who also happened to be a fictional, yet notorious whore, she could always blame it on her.  
Not that she really believed that the spirit of a fictional harlot existed within her . . . after all, that was just ridiculous. So then why should anyone else believe it?  
Hmm . . .  
"Maybe . . ." Kuno gave her a strange smile, "we can go someplace more private, Nabiki Tendo?"  
'Must you always use my full name? That's notreallyvery romantic!' Nabiki wanted to say, instead she just smiled back. "Sure . . . why not?" They got up to leave.  
But suddenly Kinnosuke appeared from out of nowhere, Nabiki wanted to wring his neck for intruding on this moment of . . . whatever it was. It was a _moment_, that was enough!  
So she'd wring his neck for intruding on her moment of moment-ness! Kinnosuke smiled brightly however and said, "You ready for our date Nabi-chan?"  
"Call me that one more time." Nabiki said coldly, glaring at Kinnosuke. She silently added 'and I'll drive red hot pokers into your butt . . . oh no, you'd probably like that you sick son of a--"  
"Nabi-chan!" Kinnosuke laughed, Kuno looked shocked.  
"Y-you enjoy that nickname?" Kuno cried.  
"Absolutely not!" Nabiki said.  
"But you requested that he call you by it a second time!" Kuno gasped. "Nabiki Tendo . . . do I mean so little to you that you would date this man right in front of me?"  
Nabiki meant to say 'yes, you mean very little to me, go away and be gone you flee, you worm, you vermin!' instead she just shook her head and said "It's not like that at all. I explained to you my reasons for dating him didn't I?" She asked. Kuno seemed to consider this, and Nabiki tried herself to remember if she'd told him it was for vengeance's sake, to make Kinnosuke hurt. She wondered why she cared if he knew that or not.  
'You're _engaged_ to Ryoga! And Kuno is a jerk, and a pervert, and a--' Nabiki thought to herself, suddenly she noticed the eye contact between Kuno and Kinnosuke.  
There was something there . . .  
What?  
It was as if they were having a silent conversation . . . She watched them for a moment, sensing the tension, realizing that if Kuno whipped out his sword he could rend Kinnosuke in two ending all her problems: Kuno would go to prison for man slaughter, and Kinnosuke would be . . . well, you know. She could be loyal to Ryoga and no one would ever have to know how close she'd come just now to running off with Kuno.  
But she was relieved when he didn't, she wanted to destroy Kinnosuke herself. She'd break him like a twig, then leave him shattered.  
"Very well. As you have made a previous engagement I will leave you now." Kuno said. Nabiki still wasn't sure if he knew she'd rather stay with him. Wasn't sure why she'd rather stay with him, she still didn't like him . . . or did she?  
This sort of stuff was supposed to end when she turned eighteen, not get even worse!  
Kuno bowed slightly, then left. Kinnosuke smiled at Nabiki and said, "Aren't you glad I showed up just in time? If you'd kept on like you were I'd have even better pictures to show your _other_ boyfriend!"  
"Oh yeah, you're seducing me real good Kinnosuke, your threats make me want to just lay back and give in to your **mad sex skills**!" Nabiki scowled. "And don't spy on me either."  
Kinnosuke laughed softly. "Nabi-chan, we're not enemies. I'm your friend. I care. Your current boyfriend is mentally unstable, if I showed him those pictures he'd blow up half the city!"  
"Don't assume that you know him simply because you know of him, Ryoga has more self control than that." Nabiki said . . . with no conviction whatsoever. "Maybe a _quarter_ of the city, but not half." She decided.  
Kinnosuke laughed. "You're in a good enough mood to joke, I'm glad, because I was so afraid you'd be planning my painful death that you wouldn't focus enough enjoy our time together."  
"Well . . . not your _death_." Nabiki said truthfully.  
Kinnosuke smiled, "Maybe you should hold onto my arm."  
"No, I'm fine thanks." Nabiki answered coldly.  
"No, I really think that you'd be happier if you grabbed my arm. Quickly."  
Nabiki gave him a strange look, he seemed pretty smug. She grabbed his arm and sighed.  
Just then Yoshimi appeared. 'This is all I need.' Nabiki thought.  
"Yoshimi!" Nabiki gasped.  
"Harume Yoshimi, daughter of Kotaro Harume, age seventeen and three quarters . . . oh hello Tendo Nabiki!" Yoshimi blinked a few times. "Ryoga is not here . . . is he?"  
"Not unless you're hiding him in your pockets." Nabiki shrugged.  
Yoshimi gave Kinnosuke an odd look. Kinnosuke just grinned triumphantly. Yoshimi then allowed the faintest traces of a smile to reach her lips, she dispelled them immediately, but Nabiki had seen.  
"This is my cousin. Tendo Kinnosuke." Nabiki said quickly. A feeble lie, but then Yoshimi didn't really seem to be all there in the head. "He's only in town for tonight, I'm showing him around."  
"Oh how lovely! I shall get Ryoga, and the two of you can show us both around!" Yoshimi cried.  
"Oh no, don't bother him with this trivial matter." Nabiki chuckled.  
"Oh? Is there . . . some reason you do not want him to be here?" Yoshimi asked with concern that was most likely feigned.  
"Not at all." Nabiki smiled. "You see it's just that he and Kinnosuke don't get along all that well and I'm afraid there could be bloodshed if they were together."  
"Oh . . . I understand." Yoshimi nodded.  
Kinnosuke suddenly said "You know cousin, the evening is young, but we should be going if you want to return home before curfew!"  
"Curfew?" Nabiki frowned, but then shrugged. "Yes, curfew of course. I'm so sorry Yoshimi . . . you wouldn't want to come along with us, would you?"  
"Me?" Yoshimi seemed surprised. "Come along?"  
"Well of course. Why not? Maybe you and my cousin will uh . . . hit it off." Nabiki said slyly.  
"Oh-ho no. Ryoga is the only one for me." Yoshimi smiled. "I will find him and we will tour the city as well, I do hope you don't mind."  
"Actually I--"  
"Splendid, farewell!" Yoshimi giggled and skipped away.  
Nabiki sighed.  
"Well . . . arent you going to show me around the city?" Kinnosuke smiled. "I thought we'd start at all the normal motels, then as we get more adventurous we'd go to the 'specialized' ones."  
Nabiki massaged her forehead, but laughed all the same. Oh she'd soon put and end to his little jokes. "You're so funny Kinnosuke . . . may I call you Suke-chan?"  
"Uh . . . why would you call me--"  
"Yes, yes of course Suke-chan!" Nabiki said quickly, "How about if we skip this evening, you give me your silly little pictures, and the negatives while you're at it, and I'll . . . give you what you really want?"  
"Oh Nabi-chan, Nabi-chan, Nabi-chan." Kinnosuke chuckled, "I really thought you had more respect for yourself. But fear not, I respect you enough for the both of us. No my dear we will enjoy ourselves tonight, but not before we do so in a more morally acceptable way?"  
"What does that even mean?" Nabiki demanded.  
Kinnosuke scratched his chin, maybe he didn't know. "Let's go to the carnival." He said at last.  
"There's a carnival?" Nabiki wondered.  
"It seems there's always a carnival when you need one." Kinnosuke said.  
Nabiki frowned. She'd noticed that too. Creepy.  
"After, we can get something to eat. Then we'll talk about doing what we _really _want to do."  
"Of course!" Nabiki said. She tried not to roll her eyes, but it was hard.

Yoshimi smiled as the two left. Cousin _indeed_. Even if she didn't know the truth she'd never believe that. 'Fool girl. Give up my Ryoga before I get angry with you.' She thought bitterly. She thought back to the moment she'd ambushed them, the moment Nabiki had seen her seemingly wander across them.  
The jump that girl gave, it was priceless. Oh yes indeed.  
She'd get the pictures from Kinnosuke later, she rushed over to a small shop and got a disposable camera . . . she'd have more pictures to show her love later tonight. If Kinnosuke did his job right. She noted Kuno watching her in confusion. "Excellent!" She cried. "I did not know you were here. You will help me, wont you?"  
"I . . ." Tatewaki frowned. "I do not think I like her being with Kinnosuke." He said at last.  
Yoshimi frowned. "I understand. Remember that my own love is with her as well, has even lost his purity to her instead of me, I'm sure you can imagine--no, share the pain I feel knowing that for the rest of our lives together, whether he means to or not my love will always compare me to her in those sweet stolen moments of intimacy. I know exactly how you feel. But it's all _necessary_. Once I have Ryoga, as is right and proper you will have Nabiki and whomever else you desire, and when we are through with Kinnosuke he'll be so well paid he'll not bother either one of us." Yoshimi gave Kuno a friendly look, tried to look like she actually cared about his concerns. "She loves _you_ Kuno Tatewaki, not this Kinnosuke. Take comfort in that and know that she will not betray you."  
Kuno did seem to take a small bit of comfort. Yoshimi wondered briefly if he was really fool enough to believe that. If this girl would betray Ryoga, what would keep her from betraying Tatewaki as well? That was exactly why Yoshimi conveniently chose not to think of what she would make Ryoga do as 'betraying' but rather 'awakening to the truth'.  
Kinnosuke was attractive, and despite the current tension--which was part of Yoshimi's plan anyway--she was sure he'd manage to at least kiss Nabiki before the night was over. And if he followed her plan well enough he'd do more than that. But then once his role was complete Yoshimi would have no use for Kuno either, so let him believe what he wanted to believe.  
She was simply relieved that Nabiki had consented to date Kinnosuke even though he lacked the correct bundle of pictures. "We will follow them, no?" Yoshimi asked Kuno. "We will catch it all on film, deceive my Ryoga so that your Nabiki will be free"  
Kuno frowned. "Normally," he said, "I would simply destroy your Ryoga to free my dear Nabiki Tendo. However as you have helped me so greatly I will not deny you your happiness in return." Yoshimi decided he had to be really full of himself if he thought he could deny her _anything_ that she really wanted. "I will follow them and ensure that if they do kiss it is caught on film." He snapped his fingers.  
His small ninja servant appeared. "I have a little something you might like." The butler said, handing Yoshimi some pictures.  
"I do not know why Gosunkugi's original photographs failed, but this extra evidence should be enough to sway Ryoga Hibiki." Kuno said softly.  
They were the sort that began to develop as soon as they were taken. The black faded away to reveal Kuno and Nabiki together, strolling, talking . . . _kissing_. Wonderful little things! Yoshimi looked at the pictures. She nearly kissed Kuno herself. "Excellent!" She cried in excitement. "You do be sure to watch them closely comrade, I will show these to Ryoga!" She rushed off, or at least pretended to.  
"Master Kuno, this is not the sort of thing we usually do." The servant pointed out.  
"No, it isn't. Is there some problem with that, Sasuke?" Kuno demanded.  
"Master I cant help but think . . . arent you usually trying to win over Akane Tendo, or that girl with the pigtail? Why are you suddenly obsessing over Nabiki Tendo? You and she are . . . not exactly close . . ."  
"Harume's plan, Sasuke!" Kuno said impatiently.  
"But master, you're--"  
"I am not in the habit of being questioned by my inferiors!" Kuno snapped, "Obey me or find employment elsewhere, but do not question me, not now, Sasuke!"  
Whatever the servant said in reply was spoken too softly for Yoshimi to hear.  
But she'd heard enough. She's listened to what Kuno said in her absence, unsure that she could trust him, she'd assumed from what she'd learned of him thus far that he would not actually care for Tendo, but rather he'd use her for what she was good for, then leave her. If he was kissing her without orders this might not be the case, but on the other hand he may just have been attempting to help, genuinely seeking to provide additional pictures since Ryoga had not been swayed?  
Oh but how did he know the first set hadnt worked on Ryoga? Had he switched them? Impossible!  
Yoshimi decided her beloved could wait. As Kuno would observe Nabiki she would observe him as well to be sure he did not fail her.

And meanwhile of course Ryoga, currently P-Chan struggled to escape the jaws of Mercedes the gigantic dog. He wondered briefly why no one was helping him, he could hear them watching TV close by, he could even hear Ranma talking about how the dog better not slobber all over his ramen . . .  
The young man had no idea about the plots within plots revolving around him, the dangers unknown that threatened to ruin all he held precious, to destroy him.  
All Ryoga was aware of at that moment was how terrible Mercedes' breath was. He wasn't exactly sure when he'd been set free from the blazing inferno, but he'd certainly take it over Mercedes' mouth . . . Azusa's dog really needed a mint or something.

To Be Continued . . .

Next Time . . . Nabiki will take TERRIBLE REVENGE on Kinnosuke . . . by sleeping with him!? Shampoo and her prisoner raft back to Japan (and face the dreaded sea monster!) Ryoga might have to confront the truth when Yoshimi tells him about Nabiki and Kuno, and Ranma tells him about Nabiki's plans to be a porn star . . . how will he react? Will he believe them at all? After that Yoshimi and Maro will face off in Chapter 10 - Title Pending . . .


	10. Title Pending Consideration

Author's Note: You may have noticed that the more recent chapters are a little lengthier than others, I am aware that longer chapters for some reason means less readers but I figure this just gives those of you who remain more material to go over while you wait the next twenty years for my update. Thanks for all your reviews so far! 

Charlotte's Sequel . . .  
Chapter X (that means 10)  
Title Pending . . .

Kinnosuke smiled encouragingly at Nabiki Tendo as they left the restaurant . . . he tried to give her a sort of 'you can take your cloths off and dance around for me' encouragement, but for all her supposed intelligence the girl just didn't understand the innuendo.  
"Stop grinning at me like that, it's creepy you sickly little pervert." Nabiki said sweetly.  
"Nabi-chan, do you think we could ever be . . . more than friends?"  
"No." She said lovingly, making a loving gesture with her middle finger.  
"When this is over . . . I wonder if I can keep your panties?" He hadn't meant to say that out loud, he knew she probably wouldn't agree.  
"I thought we were celebrating our rivalry? All you've done is try to get me to let you put your hand on my leg!" Nabiki giggled lustfully.  
"I'm not hearing a 'no' on the subject of the panties. Also, that wasn't my hand . . . it must have been the waiter's." Kinnosuke lied.  
"No, you cant have any of my underwear, it's bad enough trying in vain to keep it away from Happosai. And if that wasn't you trying to touch me, explain the fork wounds in your right hand." Nabiki said with a smile.  
"Yes well . . . I always was a sloppy eater, never did learn to use forks properly." Kinnosuke said.  
"Oh-ho . . . well how about if you just die you mother --" Nabiki began but Kinnosuke cut her off.  
"Do you like dogs?" Kinnosuke asked.  
"What? Oh yeah, dogs are great, as long as they don't bite me we're cool." Nabiki licked her lips seductively.  
"You ever do it with a dog?" Kinnosuke asked. "I think it'd be pretty neat to watch you do it with a dog." She punched him . . . sweetly.  
"I'm am not 'doing it' with a dog! I never have, I never will!" Nabiki screamed . . . in a _sexy_ tone?  
"I was just kidding. Of course I'd get the first crack at you, the dog would have to wait." Kinnosuke winked.  
"I'm going to destroy you." Nabiki giggled like a horny school girl.  
Now . . . what really worried Kinnosuke was that he wasn't imagining any of this . . . she really was speaking to him with a hint of lust in her voice. Well he had imagined her punching him sweetly, there'd been nothing sweet about the punch aside from the fact that it didn't really hurt as much as it probably would have it it'd been delivered by Kuno, or Ryoga. But if it weren't for that and the whole stabbing his hand with the fork every time he reached for her sweet inner thigh he'd swear this girl was just about ready to strip down and fulfill his every desire.  
It was kind of scary.  
Sexy . . . but scary.  
Of course how could she resist his sexy charms? She was just a woman after all, and women simply dropped like flies for his charm.  
'You have to start teaching classes, you devil you!' Kinnosuke thought to himself. He noticed Kuno and his little brother or whoever that bucktoothed guy was, were following him. He'd looked back to sneer at Kuno whenever Nabiki wasn't looking but the swordsman just kept pursuing from a distance. 'How pathetic of you Tate-chan. Getting a good show at least?' He wondered. 'Just wait, it'll get better you loser!' "You should hold onto my arm, goddess." Kinnosuke smiled.  
"Why is that so incredibly important to you?" Nabiki cooed.  
"Because every time you do Tate-chan turns red!" Kinnosuke chuckled.  
"Huh?" "I said . . . it's a dark night. I wouldn't want to get separated from you."  
"Whatever." Nabiki sighed longingly. "You boys . . . I always have to hold onto you or you just wander off."  
"Well . . . I wont leave you like he does." Kinnosuke said pulling her closer to him. "I . . . cannot live without you."  
"Stand still." Nabiki said suddenly. She released his arm and took ten steps away from him. They stood apart for a moment, looking at each other. Nabiki examined her watch then came back. "You managed to live without me for about thirty seconds." Nabiki said. "Then I got bored."  
Kinnosuke wrapped his arm around her waist. "It was a painful thirty seconds." He assured her.  
"Of course it was." Nabiki gave a suggestive wink.  
"Nabi-chan . . . why are we wasting a beautiful night?"  
"Beautiful? It just got done raining cats and dogs!" Nabiki laughed.  
"Yes well . . . that's why we should be looking for indoor activities." Kinnosuke said.  
"You're not going to give up until you get into my pants, are you?" Nabiki marveled.  
"Absolutely not." Kinnosuke nodded.  
"All right. Let's find some place private, and quiet . . . expensive, you're not laying me in some cheap roach motel."  
Kinnosuke was taken aback. Had he heard her right? "What?"  
"Well? Let's go find some place to do this." Nabiki said sweetly. "I've been maybe three days without sex, that's seventy two hours, I need you!" She squeezed him around the waist.  
It was not unpleasant. "Well . . . what would your fiancé think?"  
"He doesn't need to know . . . of course if you wanted to blackmail me into sleeping with you again I suppose it could hardly be helped." She smiled brightly at him.  
Kinnosuke laughed. "So you finally understand how things work eh? Of course you shouldn't resist me, you come willingly as is proper, as any other woman would. You cannot deny my power! Oh my beautiful goddess, it pleases me to no end that you're finally ready to--"  
"Even whore-goddesses get tired of waiting." Nabiki pointed out.  
"Oh of course!" Kinnosuke gasped. 'Musnt let her lose interest! Not now that I have her where I want her!' he thought.  
He rubbed his hands together. He was tempted to should over his shoulder at Kuno "Wanna come and watch me bang Tendo's brains out?" but he restrained himself since Nabiki probably wouldn't have appreciated that and though she was his rival he'd still treat her with respect . . . until after they were through, because then he'd have to go out and tell everyone in town, and romanticize it a bit, make it seem more intense.  
"We can go to my house. Akari wont mind." Kinnosuke said.  
"Oh, so Akari did find you." Nabiki sounded impressed. "I figured she'd wander Asia for a few years, then stumble upon some _other_ Kinnosuke."  
"You know her?" Kinnosuke asked. Maybe he could get a little pre-sex-show from the two girls.  
"That's not important. I uh . . . don't want to do it at your place. Too much risk we'd wake your parents . . . no I want you to take me some place expensive . . . a nice hotel! We'll order room service."  
"But we just ate." Kinnosuke said. "Why would we need room service?"  
"Who said we'd eat what we order?" Nabiki asked but didn't bother to explain.  
She let Kinnosuke use his imagination.  
And what an imagination he had!

Nabiki was laying on a very comfortable bed . . . fully clothed. She yawned. What a day! And it wasn't over yet. "Kinno-chan, I have the tiniest of questions for you."  
"Yes?" Kinnosuke asked as he attempted to pick the lock to the little refrigerator filled with various alcoholic beverages.  
"What ever did you do with those silly pictures of me and that nobody, Kuno?"  
"Oh them!" Kinnosuke chuckled, forgetting all about the lock and walking over to Nabiki. "So my goddess has an ulterior motive to surrendering her body to me does she?"  
"Not at all." Nabiki giggled. "I'm just curious."  
"Sure you are." Kinnosuke grinned at her. Nabiki got an unhappy feeling in her gut that he wasn't going to just go along with her plan. She sat up and tensed, just in case he tried to jump her. "I have them right here." He patted his coat pocket and revealed an envelope. He walked over and put it on the night stand. "You can have them . . . when we're finished." He said.  
"Oh don't be silly!" Nabiki giggled, slapping his chest as hard as she could, "I've got an appetite that an entire classroom full of teenage boys in an all boy's school with a sexy female teacher who sleeps in one day and then accidentally comes to class in her underwear, couldn't hope to match."  
"A bit lengthy," Kinnosuke said, "but a stirring comparison. You're a quite disturbed, perverted young woman, goddess."  
"Sure. Why not." Nabiki shrugged. Though she was getting a little annoyed with the mocking way he kept calling her a goddess.  
"Come now, as you said before we're wasting a beautiful night."  
"You said that." Nabiki pointed out.  
"Does it matter?" Kinnosuke asked moving closer.  
"No, I suppose not." Nabiki decided. She pulled him down on top of her, and helped him remove his shirt.  
His hands came onto her breasts, she shoved them away a bit too roughly, but he didn't seem to mind. She quickly undid his pants, he tried for her sweater, she let him have it.  
She was wearing a T-shirt underneath it.  
In no time at all Kinnosuke was completely nude while Nabiki maintained her own undergarments and her skirt. He kissed her and tried to get his tongue into her mouth, she kept her jaws clamped. She knew if his tongue got into her mouth she'd bite him and then all would be lost!  
"Is there something wrong?" Kinnosuke asked.  
"Absolutely not!" Nabiki giggled, fixing her skirt. "What in the world would make you ask such a question?"  
"Well you keep shoving my hands away."  
"Oh I'm just a little nervous!" Nabiki said simply. "That's all, hey you have a condom right?"  
"Oh sure." Kinnosuke said. "After all, you can never be too careful." "Well? Is there some reason you're not wearing it then?" Nabiki asked, glancing at the clock.  
Kinnosuke got off her and she sat up again. He stomped off to some corner to apply the "stupid little balloon" as he called it.  
Then there was a knock at the door. "Get that Nabi-chan, you're more decent than I am." Kinnosuke said.  
"And I'm also wearing more clothing." Nabiki nodded. "But if I were to move at all my sex drive will burn out completely. No, I have to lie here if you want me to stay interested. Just use one of the bath robes, you and I both know you were going to end up stealing it anyway." Kinnosuke sighed and threw a robe over himself and came over to the door. He was probably telling himself that it was all going to be worth it in a few moments.  
He was right. It would all be worth it.  
For Nabiki Tendo that is.  
He opened the door, Nabiki got out of bed quickly, strode over to him, and leaned against his back.  
"I thought you had to stay still?" He said.  
"Changed my mind." She said. She took a marker out of her skirt pocket and pulled the robe away from Kinnosuke's upper torso, leaving him only the sash and lower, his arms trapped behind his back by the sleeves. She drew a little graffiti on his back.  
"Uh-huh . . . what are you doing?" He asked nervously.  
"Love tattoos." Nabiki said, writing a rude word on his back.  
"Eh . . . she's eh . . . a little drunk." Kinnosuke explained.  
"She'd have to be." The 'lady' pushing the cart shrugged, waiting for her tip. She was cute with long hair and adorable eyes and a name tag that read "Kurenai."  
"You're five minutes late." Nabiki said casually as she drew an obscene picture. "Did I not tell you over the phone exactly when to arrive?"  
"Yes well I'm terribly sorry. The uh . . . elevator. Yeah." Nabiki nodded, and finished the last of her permanent ink tattoos. Oh sure they'd wash off eventually, (calling into question the title of such ink) but not soon enough. Now it was time for some real fun!  
She yanked the rest of Kinnosuke's robe away, and shoved him outside. "Oh my, looks like you tripped Kinno-chan!" She cried with feigned concern.  
As soon as Kinnosuke was out of the room Nabiki slammed the door shut behind him and locked it. She was fairly sure she heard the Snap! Snap! Snap! of a camera as Tsubasa Kurenai, disguised as the bus-girl took pictures of Kinnosuke, and the attractive tattoos Nabiki had drawn on him. She regretted not putting one on his forehead.  
Well not even she was _completely_ perfect.  
"Nabiki!" Kinnosuke cried in horrified shock. "Nabi-chan what are you doing?"  
"The door's stuck darling."  
"This is uh . . . no time for games, open the door!"  
"What ever for?" Nabiki wondered loudly.  
"You stole my cloths!"  
"I left you the condom!" She protested.  
"Nabi-chan!" She almost felt bad for him. "You cant do this! I'll give you the pictures!" Kinnosuke pleaded.  
"I already have them!" Nabiki laughed.  
"People are staring! I'll tell them all who I came here with!"  
"The few who know who the heck you're talking about probably wont care!" Nabiki pointed out. "I certainly don't."  
"Will you stop taking pictures of me?" Kinnosuke demanded, that one Nabiki guessed was directed at Tsubasa, her hench-man in this scheme of evil. "Nabi-chan, there's sort of a crowd gathering!"  
"Well just try not to expose yourself to the children! Come on now I ordered those pies for a reason, cover yourself!"  
"GYYAAHH! It burns!"  
Nabiki laughed and went about getting dressed as Kinnosuke began to frantically bang on the door. She knew he'd probably be upset about this in the morning. Maybe she and Ryoga should take another road trip.  
"You win!" Kinnosuke tried, "I'll tell you everything! Everything! The whole diabolical plan! It wasn't my fault!"  
"Everything about what diabolical plan?" Nabiki wondered, but didn't bother to continue talking to Kinnosuke through the door. She simply got dressed, examined the envelope of pictures and negatives, chuckled sinisterly and prepared to climb down the fire escape. "You're right Kinnosuke, I _am_ a goddess!" Then it hit her, full on . . . her fatal error.  
"Where's the bloody fire escape!? What am I supposed to do in the event of a fire, hide in the oversized heart shaped bath tub?!" She turned back to the door. On the other side of it was Kinnosuke . . . and common sense told her that he wasn't happy. On the other hand madness told her she could probably take him in a fair fight . . . if she went for the knees . . . and had a gun . . . why hadn't she bought a gun?  
'This has never happened before!' She realized. 'I'm trapped with no way out? No way! My plans never backfire like this! This isn't happening!" Nabiki thought desperately. She looked around. Okay, this was going to be tricky . . .  
"Kinno-chan . . . my love, my darling . . ." Nabiki said, adopting the voice of a sweet, adorable virginal air head, "if I open this door, will you promise not to break every bone in my poor, delicate body?"  
"Yes, please, anything!" Kinnosuke pleaded.  
"Okay." Nabiki said calmly. "I'll let you in . . . don't be mad now." She said, she opened the door slowly.  
As she'd expected Kinnosuke pushed it open and rushed in, he closed it behind him quickly.  
Nabiki kicked him in the back of the knee and opened the door again and introduced it to his face. "Holy cow that felt _great_!" She cried as Kinnosuke fell to the ground with a groan. She looked at the crowd. Nabiki noted with satisfaction that Tsubasa had disappeared. As per her instructions he'd likely ran off once out of film and would leave her camera with Kasumi. However the common folk just stood there staring at unconscious Kinnosuke and Nabiki the girl what did it to 'im.  
"What are you looking at? This man attempted to rape me, it was all self defense! Now, mind your business." Nabiki said, giving them a dismissive wave.  
The crowd seemed to just drone away muttering. But one person remained.  
"Nabiki! What are you doing here?" That person demanded in a parental tone.  
"Nothing that concerns you. Might I ask _who_ you're doing here?" Nabiki asked.  
"Oh-ho, no one, no one . . . don't be silly." Nodoka laughed nervously, leaning against what Nabiki guessed was probably the door to her room. "The uh . . . house was being fumigated. Terrible rat infestation."  
"Uh-huh." Nabiki nodded. "What a _believable_ story. How about if you just let me go back to what I'm doing and you go back to _whomever_ you're doing, and we'll just pretend we never saw each other here, okay?"  
"Nabiki, what would your father say if he knew you were at a place like this with a boy who doesn't seem to be your fiancé?" Nodoka frowned.  
"Hey, hey! Just because you're having an affair with my dad doesn't mean you're my mother, you understand that?" Nabiki demanded sternly. "Don't get all parental with me, if you were my mother I'd probably have turned out to be a comic book artist, a crack whore, or fan-fiction writer!" (With just a hint of self loathing GrimmZ)  
Nodoka didn't seem at all stung by the words. She just walked over and examined Kinnosuke. "He's rather cute actually." She said.  
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Nabiki scoffed. She'd noticed Kinnosuke's cuteness way back when, it didn't really matter to her now.  
"Help me with him." Nodoka said.  
Nabiki raised an eyebrow at her nympho maniac of an aunt. The woman more than twice her age who'd gone and stolen away her future as a porn star! "I beg your pardon?"  
"We need to get him on the bed." Nodoka explained.  
"Hey, hey! I don't like Kinnosuke much, and I'm sure he deserves whatever fate inflicts upon him, but isn't that sort of like a violation? I mean he's not even conscious and--"  
Nodoka laughed. "Nabiki, do you really think I'm that terrible?"  
"Well no, I guess not . . ." Nabiki wasn't really sure if she was lying or not, but she suspected she probably was.  
"We cant just let any old person wander in and rob the poor boy blind." Nodoka explained.  
"_Cant_ we, No-chan? Cant we?" Nabiki asked slyly.  
"We'll leave him on the bed, he can wake up later." Nodoka said firmly. "Then I'm going to walk you home." She opened the door to her room and shouted, "Uh, sorry boys, I have to take my niece home . . ." Nabiki heard a male voice say something she couldn't make out. "Yes she's over eighteen . . ." Nodoka answered, a second male voice spoke up now, indistinct. "No she is not going to join the fun, she's _engaged_ you buffoons, wait until _after_ she sees what sort of torture marriage is! Anyway, I'll be back in an hour." Nodoka said. At least five men grunted various good-byes.  
"I think I'm going to throw up." Nabiki informed Nodoka.  
"Well if you're lucky it's just the flu, next time tell your boyfriend to use protection. Unless you think you can convince Ryoga it's his." Nodoka said.  
It took Nabiki a moment to understand what the heck that was supposed to mean, when she did she laughed bitterly and helped Nodoka get Kinnosuke onto the bed. She checked the envelope of pictures one last time, then she and Nodoka left.

"Strictly out of curiosity . . ." Nodoka said after they'd walked for a while, "Why did you draw all that stuff on his back?" "What stuff?" Nabiki asked innocently.  
"Are you telling me it wasn't you who wrote "Nabiki Rules Forever", "His other ride's his sister", and who could forget the arrow pointing to his butt saying "Insert manhood here"." Nodoka chuckled. "Then there were the pictures you drew, I guess I don't have to describe them for you, and of course there were the little obscenities you wrote, words that I assure you wont be spoken out of my mouth."  
"With all the things you allow in your mouth No-chan, it surprises me greatly that you'd be concerned with what comes out." Nabiki said.  
"Very amusing." Nodoka smiled. "How did you write all that without him noticing?"  
"I write fast." Nabiki shrugged.  
"Well I doubt he'll be visiting the public bath any time soon." Nodoka laughed softly. Then she asked, "Aren't you afraid of his retaliation?"  
"Absolutely not. This was my retaliation for his trying to blackmail me, I'm entitled to it! He has no right to retaliate for this minor act."  
"Nabiki . . . are you that stupid? He'll retaliate against you, you'll retaliate again, him again, you again forever. Or, considering the humiliation you've put him through tonight, and assuming he doesn't get amnesia after that blow to the head, what makes you think he wont try to harm you physically?"  
"Because he knows my little sister can take him. And if she doesn't, that's what Ryoga's for." Nabiki shrugged. "He's powerless." Nabiki shuddered, accidentally having imagined what it must be like to know you'd been humiliated like that, unable to respond to it in any way, living with it for the rest of your life . . . until you robbed a gas station with an unloaded pistol and got yourself gunned down by the overzealous cops.  
She felt sorry for Kinnosuke, but the thought of him in therapy over this made up for it. 'That'll learn him. Don't mess with me.' She decided she'd have to have it written on a shirt, so others would know.  
She should have felt great, on top of the world . . . but Nodoka was making her feel like maybe it had been over kill or something. Too much . . .  
Well Nabiki didn't need the older, more _promiscuous_ woman ruining her natural high, if this kept up she'd have to seek an unnatural one. "I think I can find my way home from here." She told Nodoka.  
The older woman smiled kindly. "It's late. Be careful. Is that what you want me to say?"  
"It'd be nice, but a simple 'goodbye' would pass too." Nabiki shrugged.  
"I'm going to make sure you get home safely." Nodoka said, still smiling.  
"I uh . . . oh fine, whatever."  
"Unless of course . . ." Nodoka said in a conspiritous whisper, "if home isn't where you're planning on going right now . . . why not come with me back to my place?"  
"The place that's being gassed for rats? Not on your life! Changing over to girls are you?" Nabiki demanded.  
Nodoka laughed. "No Nabiki, I just thought you might want to talk."  
"I do not!" Nabiki hissed. "Not with the woman who stole my job!"  
"Technically I didn't steal it. Yutaro offered it to me after our . . . oh I'd say third time."  
"How did you guys manage to do it three times?"  
"Well it was a boring day so--"  
"Never mind, I don't want to know!" Nabiki scowled. "I just want to go home, take Ryoga upstairs, lock the door and . . . well the rest's none of your business."  
"Wasn't the boy at the hotel enough for you?"  
"Nothing happened with him."  
"Maybe it's because you wrote all over his back?"  
"I didn't want anything to happen with him!" Nabiki clarified.  
"So you say. But inside you beats the heart of a woman, and a very independent woman at that."  
"I'm going to marry Ryoga." Nabiki said simply.  
"Why?" Nodoka asked.  
Nabiki opened her mouth but nothing came out.  
She knew why! She had a reason, she really did! And it was a good one, she knew it was . . .  
But for the life of her she couldn't bring it to mind.  
She'd gone too long without answering now, so she just scoffed.  
"I see." Nodoka nodded knowingly.

Shampoo's eyes were twitching with annoyance. Steering a raft as a cat was . . . well, not a great deal of fun.  
"Mrow!" She roared at her prisoner for help. But Lo-Chun didn't seem to understand, she just ignored her and clung to the raft looking something like a deer without antlers wearing a very wet fur coat. Lo-Chun, the llama didn't have any opposable thumbs with which to grip the ropes and so she used her teeth which incidentally was proving less than effective.  
"Mroww!" Shampoo commanded, for some reason Lo-Chun didn't seem to understand, Shampoo dug her claws into the wooden raft and held on for dear life.  
The waves just kept coming! Monster waves the size of mountains, Shampoo did not find it very difficult to believe that there might well be sharks, or even whales caught tumbling through those waves, at any moment the small cat expected to be crushed beneath the weight of a sperm whale . . .  
Actually that fear was also driven by curiosity, Shampoo hoped to find out why the whales were called 'sperm' whales, she assumed they simply looked the name.  
And that would be really funny to see.  
However now was not the time for perverted curiosity! The rain hammered down onto the little raft, Shampoo could feel the sea rising, a wave was rising up right under them!  
No . . . it was a whale! Oh no, a whale was surfacing under them! It would capsize the raft!  
Only it didn't . . . the raft simply rose and then fell. Perhaps it had just been a wave after all . . .  
"**RROOOAAARRRR**!"  
"Mrow?" Shampoo didn't know where that roar had just come from . . .  
She turned and looked back , she almost wished she hadn't. Her cat eyes could see perfectly in the darkness the large shape in the water. It's long neck sticking out above the water like long-extinct dinosaur, a pair of long tentacles reaching out above the water and waving about aimlessly, surely they'd hit the raft eventually.  
As a human girl Shampoo would not have been concerned. She would simply have armed herself with a sword, a mace, a spear, a bow, bombori, a paper clip, whatever she had available to her, and leapt into the water to pursue, kill and then perhaps eat the monster, however as an adorable house cat she was powerless!  
Or . . . was she?  
Her entire body was filled with energy, cats were, after all, hunters. Terrible predators that were known to toy with their food before eating it, or toy with it, leave it mortally wounded, and then simply not eat it. Cats really were ferocious little beasts, which was probably why some people liked them so much better than dogs.  
Shampoo could feel it inside her, the cat's power! Before she thought it over, before she really knew what she was doing . . . she leapt for the sea monster!  
She splashed into the water several feet from the raft and further still from the monster.  
The sea monster--which Shampoo now realized had been moving away--turned, somehow hearing the splash above the roar of the storm, it looked back at Shampoo . . .  
It's tentacles came down, Shampoo was powerless, unable to dodge!  
WHAPLOOSH!  
WHAPLOOSH!  
Both tentacles slammed into the water with a ferocity that made Shampoo cringe. If only she were human!  
The waves caused by both tentacles slapping into the water tore the raft to shreds, a hunk of it landed near shampoo, but the rest of it and Lo-Chun was hurled into the air as if a bomb had hit it! Shampoo took a small bit of comfort in the belief that llamas probably couldn't swim.  
At least she wouldn't go down alone!  
Suddenly a huge tentacle came up out of the water clutching Lo-Chun, and another came up, grasping a piece of the boat.  
Both it's tentacles were distracted! Shampoo could now swim for the piece of the raft and hope that maybe the waves would push her towards land! She'd done all she could to save Lo-Chun . . .  
Well technically she'd done nothing . . . she'd done all she was willing to do to save Lo-Chun!  
But to her horror a third tentacle came up out of the water! A third! The beast turned it's dinosaur head, and clutched Shampoo tightly!  
The little cat felt her insides being smashed! She wriggled, and squirmed and struggled and tried to pull herself free with every ounce of strength her cat body possessed . . . and learned that the tentacle was not inescapable when she flew out of it like a bullet, slamming into the sea monster's left eye, causing it to throw it's head back in a deafening roar of pain. The head splashed into the water, Shampoo splashed into the water!  
Cat limbs kicked and swam to reach the surface, Shampoo struggled to near the monster's head, but up it came, large, impressive, intimidating . . .  
This was it! All or nothing! If only cats were built for water!  
Oh why on earth had she attacked the thing in the first place?  
The sea monster's tentacles raised and came down on her again!  
"Merow?" Hey! Wait a minute . . . why _had_ she attacked this thing in the first place? Really . . . c'mon!  
No time to worry about that, the tentacles slammed down again causing huge waves, this time Shampoo gripped the tentacle, it was the very one that crushed the life force out of Lo-Chun!  
Shampoo didn't have much time to bask in the light of the llama-girl's death, she held for dear life as the monster raised it's tentacle above the water and scanned with it's remaining eye searching for her. Content that she was nowhere to be seen it raised itself further out of the water, and brought it's tentacles in to it's mouth to feet on the wreckage of the ship.  
Shampoo held tightly to it's tentacle as it began to move towards the mouth. The beast spotted her just seconds away from it's large tyrannosaurus mouth, it paused and Shampoo leapt! Right on the nose! She rushed forward and swiped at the other eye, then dug her claws into the muzzle as the beast threw it's head backwards!  
WHAPLOOSH!! (I love writing that)  
The beast's head fell back into the water! Shampoo held on! For the sake of her life, of her future she had to hold on!  
The monster raised it's head above the water again, and moved it about back and forth frantically. It was blind, one eye destroyed, the other swollen shut after a cat-missile had slammed into it. Having recently believed herself blind Shampoo could understand, even pity the beast in it's fear. But she didn't care! This beast had destroyed her raft and left her stranded in the middle of the ocean, miles away from her beloved Ranma!  
She began scratching and clawing at it until her claws were worn and bloody, the beast occasionally swung it's head to one side or the other in an attempt to shake her off, but kitty cat reflexes were superior to giant sea monster head swinging and Shampoo managed to catch hold of the beast every time . . .  
Except for the last time, her claws worn away to nothing by the monster's thick leathery hide, Shampoo saw the large amount of blood pumping out of it's forehead and wondered why it didn't simply use it's tentacles to swipe her away.  
And the instant she thought that, a tentacle came in at a thousand miles per hour!  
TWHAPP! (Not as much fun as the other sound . . )  
Shampoo flew off into the distance! She saw lights, lights at the end of her long, dark, rainy flight . . . so this was what it was like . . . to die? She let out one last resounding "MMEEEERRROWWWWWWW" as she hurled towards the light, the after life, the wondrous beauty of eternal slumber . . .  
WHAPLOOSH!! (Yay)  
She hit water!  
Hot water!  
"Holy cow! Some weird lookin' sea bird just landed in the hot tub!" Some man cried.  
"Well get it out of there before the passengers arrive! You know how much they love that hot tub!" Some other man ordered.  
Shampoo stuck her human head out above the water, she looked around. She was on a cruise ship!  
The beast had whacked her all the way to a cruise ship, and killed off Lo-Chun for her . . . if she ever saw it again she'd have to thank it . . . right before she killed it that is.  
She saw two men dressed in red uniforms, one was approaching the strangely relaxing hot tub . . . and Shampoo realized that she was--after going from cat to human--utterly naked.  
She didn't have long to think about it as suddenly, as if from every corner of the ship fat, hairy men with several towels tied together around their waists came running chanting "Hot tub! Hot tub! Hot tub!" Shampoo screamed!  
She screamed, and she screamed . . . and then cold water splashed onto her face!  
She opened her eyes, Lo-Chun was standing over her with a bucket.  
"Mrow?" Shampoo sighed in relief, realizing it had all been a dream.  
Lo-Chun followed the bucket of cold water with a bucket of hot water, "You were screaming and so I woke you."  
"Why didn't you wake Shampoo with the hot water?" Shampoo demanded.  
"I'unno." Lo-Chun shrugged. "Anyway your raft idea . . . it is stupid! With no real walls it is only a matter of time before a powerful wave renders us thumbless!"  
"Shampoo has realized this." Shampoo admitted.  
"I have a better idea anyway." Lo-Chun said, she indicated a pair of boxes, besides which stood a tall young woman with a hammer. "We shall transform ourselves, and then mail ourselves to elder Cologne, it is inexpensive and allows us to avoid metal detectors."  
"Shampoo not so sure about this . . ."  
"You want to go back to Japan and see womanizing gender switching Ranma, no?"  
"Yes?" Shampoo said, the way Lo-Chun had said it she felt as if it were the sort of thing she should say 'no' to.  
"Then mail yourself. It is overnight shipping. I left you plenty of air holes." Shampoo examined the box, it didn't look very comfortable, but before she could say or do anything she was splashed with water and shoved into the little crate, the unknown woman nailed it shut.  
"Now once I have transformed, I shall enter the crate, then you know what to do." Lo-Chun instructed.  
"Yeah, I know your plan. But really, it's sort of . . . well, never mind. Hey, how do you two transform like that?"  
"That is a jealously guarded secret technique of our special form of Amazonian Martial Arts." Lo-Chun said.  
"Martial Arts? How's turning into a cat, or a llama gonna help you in a fight?" The unnamed woman demanded.  
"We . . . uh . . . just stick to the plan!" Lo-Chun cried.  
"All right, you're the boss." The woman shrugged, then muttered something about how cool it would be to transform into something more like a wolf, or a lion.  
Shampoo frowned and sat in her box. Well, at least it was overnight delivery.

Ryoga's eyes opened slowly, his head hurt and he couldn't move his legs.  
Before panic could set in he noticed the enormous dog lying on them like a giant blanket. "Oh great, all I need is for you to give me flees again." He said, rubbing Mercedes behind the ears to rouse him.  
"He really is just the sweetest thing . . . once you're cured of your alternate form that is." Kasumi said.  
Ryoga nodded to her as the giant dog got off of him. He hugged his legs to his chest like long lost friends. "It's cold." He noticed.  
"Ah yes . . . well we've lost a portion of yet another wall." Kasumi frowned.  
"Wow . . . what's keeping this place together?" Ryoga asked.  
"That's a good question. Everyone is supposed to spend the night in tents in the back yard, just to be safe."  
"Why are we still in the house then?" Ryoga asked, recognizing this area as the guest room.  
"Well two hours later father and mister Saotome are still attempting to pitch those very tents. They're making progress, I think they finally put out the fire." Kasumi said with a smile.  
"Fire?" Ryoga narrowed his eyes and looked out towards the shattered wall to see a glimpse of the outside, but he couldn't see anything even remotely resembling a tent. He could hear Ranma and Mr. Saotome arguing though.  
"I don't read Spanish!" Saotome snapped.  
"You don't have t'read it, just look at the little pictures!" Ranma cried.  
"I guess I'd better help them." Ryoga sighed.  
"They did tell me to revive you for just such a purpose." Kasumi nodded. "But there's no rush. Things cant possibly get any worse out there."  
"The dirt! Hit the dirt!" Soun screamed.  
"Honestly dad, if this propane tank blew that dumb rock wouldn't save you or the rest of ourneighborhood!" Akane snapped.  
Ryoga frowned, Kasumi patted his hand gently, "Relax," she instructed him calmly.  
"How'd I get away from that dog's mouth?" Ryoga asked.  
"Oh! You don't remember? Well I suppose you wouldn't." She gave him a supportive smile that seemed too much like pity for his taste, "He was parading around with you squirming in his jaws. I think he was looking for someone to praise him, then you bit down on his tongue, he let you go, you ran like made and slammed into a wall. There's the dent right there." Kasumi pointed to a small hole in the wall the size of P-Chan's head from snout to shoulders. "Ranma splashed you with hot water and everything was fine again. Except of course for the undeniable fact that you were naked, Ranma threw a pair of pants on you. I think they're backwards."  
"Ranma the hero." Ryoga said bitterly for some reason. He rubbed his head and tried to recall the rest of the day's events.  
He was pretty much drawing a blank.  
"Where's Nabiki?" He asked.  
"Oh, it's nothing to worry about." Kasumi smiled.  
"I wasn't worried . . . until you told me not to be, so now I am." Ryoga frowned.  
"She just went out with Yutaro for a moment . . . some hours ago."  
"Yutaro?" Ryoga rubbed his head and slowly memory returned to him. "Wait a minute, she's been out with Yutaro--that guy who tried to rape Akane at the hot springs--for hours?"  
"Well no, he came back some time ago, she's still out there." Kasumi said. Then added, "I'm sure she's fine."  
"She's alone?" Ryoga demanded. He got up, he'd go look for her, make sure she was safe . . .  
Right after his head stopped swimming . . .  
He fell down to the ground, Kasumi sighed. "I don't recommend standing up again." She said gently. "Nabiki will take care of herself." The young woman assured Ryoga . . . but she didn't sound very convinced of what she said.  
Ryoga closed his eyes. His head was still pounding. "I hope she's okay." He said.  
"Don't worry about it. You'd better rest, that was quite a blow. You have the tournament to worry about" Kasumi sighed.  
"The tournament!" Ryoga cried. "When is it?"  
"I'm not sure if anyone, the Koruda fighters included, can remember." Kasumi shrugged. "Father seems to be under the impression that it is tomorrow, Mr. Saotome says it was yesterday."  
"Who'se fighting for the dojo?" Ryoga asked.  
"Ranma is the team captain, then there's you, father offered doctor Tofu our old chain saw if he'd fight for our side which he accepted, Ukyo has agreed to join our effort as well." Ryoga nodded. Normally he'd object to Ranma being team captain, but his eyes felt sort of heavy . . .  
Suddenly he heard a crunching noise, and then the wall to the guest room caved in, a big screen TV stormed into the guest room shouting "CHARGE!!" and rushing towards Kasumi!  
Ryoga sprang into action, he sat up and punched the big TV right in the center of the screen, there was an agonizing squeak and Tsubasa appeared a moment later, her--that is _his_ head poking out of the top of the TV, with a pair of antenna as a hat. "That wasn't very nice!" Tsubasa pointed out, but Ryoga had already swooned, his head pounding. "Aha! So with minimal effort I am victorious in the end!"  
"Ranma is out back." Kasumi said helpfully.  
"I come here, not for Ranma Saotome! But for you Kasumi!"  
Kasumi smiled pleasantly. "I'm flattered, but not interested I'm afraid." Tsubasa however shoved his hand through the fist sized hole Ryoga had made in the screen. "From Nabiki! She commands you to guard it with your life!"  
"Why are you giving me this?" Kasumi frowned. "Did something happen to Nabiki?"  
"Where is she!" Ryoga demanded, sitting up swiftly and falling back again.  
"That's three times Ryoga, you're going to cause brain damage if you keep it up." Kasumi pointed out sweetly.  
"Nabiki isn't in any trouble!" Tsubasa said, "She hired me to take some pictures, told me to take the camera straight to you when the film ran out. You are to guard it with your life until she returns, end of report!"  
"Since when are you on Nabiki's payroll?" Ryoga demanded.  
"Oh I'm just doing this as a favor . . . she mentioned cookies?" Tsubasa said, looking at Kasumi expectantly.  
"Oh certainly!" Kasumi nodded. She looked down at Ryoga and added, "I'll come back, you rest yourself . . . and stop sitting up." Ryoga nodded and rubbed his head, Kasumi led Tsubasa towards the kitchen, "I certainly hope you can pay for the repairs on that wall." She said.  
"Wouldn't it be cheaper to condemn the place and get a new one by now?" Tsubasa asked. "I thought your father won some sort of contest?"  
"Yes but the prize was in American currency, so they spent much of it in Hawaii." Kasumi said, and she and Tsubasa wandered out of earshot.  
Ryoga went to sleep, but all his dreams were nightmares!  
Ranma beating him! Mercedes almost swallowing him! Ranma beating him some more! Being engulfed by flames! More defeats by Ranma!  
"You're weak! Too weak!" A familiar voice hissed at Ryoga.  
It was his own voice.  
He woke up, sat up in bead, his head swam again but he fought and stayed up. Not weak! He wasn't weak! He'd never been weak!  
And yet he was! Yes he was! He always had been!  
"No!" He snapped suddenly. He looked around the room, it was dark but the hole Tsubasa had left in the wall had let in the starlight--also a very cold air. "I'm not . . ." Ryoga whispered quietly.  
"Not what?" Ranma asked. Ryoga scowled and whipped his head around to see Ranma--just before his swimming head caused him to fall over again--leaning against the wall near him, Genma the panda was nowhere to be seen.  
Ryoga scowled at Ranma. "I didn't say anything." He growled.  
Ranma shrugged. "Whatever." He was quiet for a while, then he said, "Kasumi wanted me to tell her when you woke up." He grinned, "She seems kinda worried about you, you do don't have somethin' going on with her do ya?"  
"What? What are you talking--" Ryoga demanded, sitting up again, head swimming he fell down.  
"You okay?" Ranma frowned.  
'Weakling . . . looser . . .' That soft voice in Ryoga's head added.  
"Shut up!" Ryoga snapped.  
"Whoa! I was just askin', don't get all up in my face just because you fell for some cheap illusion."  
"Illusion?" Ryoga wondered.  
'Fool . . . weak minded fool!' The soft voice became a little louder.  
"Yeah, that Maro guy's attack? That's all it was." Ranma said, he sounded like he was trying to be reassuring, he was only making the voice in Ryoga's head stronger. "You weren't really drowning, or whatever."  
"Drowning?" Ryoga scratched his head.  
'Weakling.'  
"I was on fire, not drowning." Ryoga said.  
'Fool.'  
Ranma shrugged. "Maybe it's different for everyone. Akane said that she was lost at sea, drowning."  
"What happened to you?" Ryoga asked, though he was already remembering . . . Ranma had simply ran out of the flames.  
"Like I'd let some weak illusion fool me!" Ranma chuckled, then he frowned apologetically, but for all the effect it had on Ryoga, Ranma might as well have sneered. "Anyway I beat the guy in the end, he left and probably wont come back."  
Ryoga's mind was flooded with memories of the day, Akane in trouble and he'd been unable to help her.  
'I'm too weak!' Ryoga thought to himself.  
"No!" Ryoga hissed to himself. "No! No!"  
"Yeah, yer right. They always come back, and you should know, ya always managed to find yer way back after I beat yer sorry butt." Ranma chuckled.  
"I'm not weak!" Ryoga roared, Ranma sort of jumped in surprise.  
For some reason Ryoga found that incredibly satisfying.  
"I didn't say ya were." Ranma frowned. "You feeling okay?"  
"Ranma!! Are you teasing Ryoga again?" Akane shouted from far off.  
"Gosh it's like the girl's got the world's best hearing or something!" Ranma scowled.  
Ryoga rubbed his head. "Why is it so dark? How long was I out? Has Nabiki come back yet?"  
"Slow it down." Ranma laughed. "It's dark because it's nighttime and . . . well let's just say Pop and I ran into a sort of a snag while we were pitching the tents . . ." "Eh?" "Okay! Okay! We hit a power line while we were tunneling!"  
"Power line? While you were tunneling!?" Ryoga demanded. "Don't you people know how to pitch a tent!?"  
"Of couse we do!" Ranma cried defensively "Hey, what we hit wasn't as bad as what Akane and her dad hit!"  
"Don't tell him Ranma!" Akane roared from a distance.  
"I swear her ears are like--anyway they hit a sewage pipe." Ranma sneered.  
"Why were you people tunneling at all?" Ryoga demanded.  
"As for how long you were out," Ranma said, changing the subject, "you've been unconscious for ten minutes, but with no electricity all the clocks stopped working, still I'm pretty sure it's just been ten minutes. It's about eight or nine o'clock."  
"And Nabiki?" Ryoga asked.  
"Ain't back yet. But hey, the night is young, she'll be home in no time and--" Ranma cut himself off, probably keeping himself from adding something dreadful, or just plain insulting.  
"I have to go find her." Ryoga decided, he got to his feet and fought the uneasiness. He was slowly recovering . . .  
Yes, he felt better already.  
"You wander off out there any the only thing yer gonna find is a cold. Actually I wonder if you could even find that you directionless wonder." Ranma teased.  
"Ryoga!" Kasumi said, "lay down this instant!"  
"I'm fine." Ryoga said, it wasn't really a lie either, he felt better.  
"Hey, m'boy here gets hit by boulders an' calls it 'training,' you think a little wall could ever have him beat?" Ranma laughed, slapping Ryoga on the back which caused him to fall over like a rag doll.  
"Since when am I your boy?" He demanded, looking up at Ranma from the pile his body had made on the floor.  
Ranma shrugged, Kasumi smiled.  
Ryoga stood up again, this time he'd stay that way.  
Right after he fell down again he got up again and this time he'd really stay standing!  
Yeah . . . that's better. This was some fine standing he was doing.  
But still, he decided to sit down and save whatever dignity he retained.  
That's when he heard it! The voice that filled him with dread!  
"Down boy!" Yoshimi cried, Mercedes' barking sounded from the front yard, "Away with you, that's my coat, not your wife! Oh keep it then, I have more important . . . ewe . . ."  
"Oh look Ryoga, one of your girlfriends has shown up!" Ranma chuckled.  
"At least I'm keeping it down to two, you gender swapping jerk." Ryoga scoffed, Ranma scowled.  
"Better a gender swapping jerk than a pig boy!" Ranma sneered.  
"Really?" Kasumi asked.  
Ranma paused for a moment, considering, then sighed. "No."  
Yoshimi poked her head in through the hole in the wall that Tsubasa had made. "This place has a serious termite problem, why not simply move to a new home?"  
"Houses don't grow on trees, Yoshimi." Ryoga said sharply.  
"Except this one. It's made of wood." Yoshimi giggled at her own joke, one she'd probably stolen from a children's cartoon. "Oh Bubblegum, I've come because . . . well I wanted to know, will you accept my offer? Will you become my perfect husband, and be cured of your terrible malady?"  
"You're my terrible malady." Ryoga scoffed. "Whatever that means."  
"Silly." Yoshimi giggled. In the star light, Ryoga could almost swear her eyes were glowing with pure evil. "So? Will you be my husband?"  
"Yoshimi . . ." Ryoga sighed. "You're a special . . . special girl."  
"Yes I know!" She squealed excitedly, "Our wedding will commence on my eighteenth birthday!"  
"However," Ryoga said sternly, "I am currently engaged to Nabiki."  
"You were engaged to me first." Yoshimi pouted.  
"I cannot just leave Nabiki, I love her." Ryoga said.  
"Yes . . . really we're getting tired of hearing it." Ranma added. "Oh, I'm Nabiki, I love Ryoga! And I'm Ryoga, I love Nabiki! We make people sick with our mush and--"  
"Shut up gigolo!" Ryoga cried.  
"Love?" Yoshimi scoffed. "What you feel for that girl, you call love? What ever for? What you call love I call pure illusion, and in time you would have realized, after years of being married to her that what you feel is nothing more than left over teenage hormones ripping through your system! You 'love' her because she satisfies your carnal desires? Hah! You're not the only one you know." Yoshimi sneered.  
Ryoga raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean?" He demanded.  
"Oh no! She knows about Nabiki being a porn star!" Ranma gasped.  
"Ranma!" Kasumi gasped too.  
"RANMA!!" Akane roared from far off.  
"Ranma!" Yoshimi cried triumphantly, pointing at Ranma, "You see? By the mouth of Ranma Saotome! She is unfaithful to you, do you not believe your own best friend?"  
"We're not best friends!" Ranma and Ryoga cried at the same time.  
"You're beloved Nabiki is not loyal to you at all! Not surprising for the woman who is possessed by Diao Chan!" Yoshimi cackled wildly.  
"Diao Chan is a fictional character! A Fic-tion-al char-ac-ter!" Ryoga groaned. "Am I getting through to you? If Nabiki's possessed by any spirit, it's the spirit of greed! Greed and perversion!"  
"Diao Chan, yes." Yoshimi nodded. Ryoga slapped his forehead. "But enough about her, let's talk about the betrayal . . . committed by her!"  
"Let's not." Ranma said suddenly. "There'll be plenty of time fer that later, right now Ryoga needs rest."  
"What?" Yoshimi frowned. "What he needs is truth. Truth and me why does no one else understand this? I grow impatient with your--"  
"Truth, yeah, he's in need of that big time. But he just got his butt kicked, so what he really needs right now is rest." Ranma said.  
"His butt . . . kicked? Who has defiled the butt of my love?" Yoshimi demanded suddenly, leaping to her feet. "Let him come forth and face ME! Who did this? Why is Ryoga-kun not in the hospital? He needs the finest medical attention!"  
"Calm down!" Ranma said, "I already beat the guy's butt, he ran off wailin' like a banshee."  
"But he lives!" Yoshimi hissed, there was that gleam in her eye, "For what he has done I will see him and any others involved in his plot dead by dawn!" She drew her gun, where she'd hidden it Ryoga didn't want to know, she twirled it around on her finger and grinned wickedly.  
"You're serious, aren't you?" Ranma gapped.  
"_Deadly_ serious." Yoshimi nodded, Ryoga was certain her eyes were glowing with pure, insane rich girl evil!  
"Well we eh . . . didn't really get his picture or anything but--" Ranma said.  
"Never mind!" Yoshimi cried, "I shall consult the spy video cameras I placed around your property!" She ran off waving her gun in the air.  
Ryoga lay back relieved she was gone, yet strangely uneasy as well.  
"Listen . . . uh . . . about Nabiki being a porn star . . ." Ranma said uneasily.  
"I know." Ryoga sighed. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about that little tid bit. So that was her secret job? Right now he didn't even feel denial. It felt sort of like being told that earth was not the center of the universe. It was probably true, but what did he care? It didn't affect the way Ryoga felt about earth--er Nabiki. Even though he felt like it should. "I know." He said again.  
"That I was lyin'? Tryin' to be funny?" Ranma asked.  
"Sure . . . let's go with that." Ryoga said darkly. Was he refusing to concern himself over nothing, or failing to concern himself over something major? Was he just too afraid to face the truth?  
Why should he be afraid of anything?  
He looked over to Kasumi, she seemed to be having an inner struggle of her own, and Ryoga was terrified by the possibility that he knew why.  
Was she was trying to decide whether or not to tell him that Ranma had been telling the truth? No, impossible. And yet . . . "I think what I really want," Ryoga said, "is to go to sleep. I don't want to think about Yoshimi, or Maro, or anything . . ."  
But what about Nabiki? Ryoga knew how dark it could get at different times of night, and he refused to believe it was as early as Ranma said it was. It was verylate, and Nabiki still hadn't come back.  
Ryoga guessed it was about midnight . . . he'd have to go find her.  
"You really should get some rest." Kasumi agreed.  
"Yeah, it's hard to tell if that thing on your head is a bump, or if yer gran'ma was a Unicorn." Ranma of course.  
"No, no. I want rest, but I need to find Nabiki." Ryoga said.  
"You couldn't find a cold!" Ranma scoffed.  
"No, I think he found that." Kasumi said, feeling Ryoga's forehead.  
Her touch seemed to linger a moment longer than necessary, it wasn't unpleasant, but somehow it made Ryoga slightly uncomfortable.  
"I'm not impressed." Ranma scoffed. "Look, I'll find Nabiki for ya . . . right after my TV show."  
"The power's out, you cant watch TV!" Ryoga shook his head. "Come on, there's some illusion wielding lunatic running around, Nabiki's out there alone, don't either of you care?"  
"I hadn't thought of that really." Ranma said thoughtfully.  
"Neither had I." Kasumi admitted.  
"I'm not too concerned though, she's probably clever enough to see through illusions." Ranma shrugged.  
"I don't care." Ryoga scowled, "I'm going!"  
"Well . . . take Ranma with you." Kasumi said.  
"Yeah, if we do run into that fan-boy you'll need me ta take care of business, and carry your useless butt back home." Ranma chuckled, Kasumi silenced him with a glare, and from far off Akane roared.  
"RANMA!!"  
"I am not weak!" Ryoga hissed. He got up and stormed off in the direction of . . . something.  
He bumped into Nabiki, their heads collided.  
It was bad enough for Ryoga since his head already ached, butfor Nabiki it must have been the equivalent of having her brains smashed in by a gold brick with a slice of lemon wrapped around it.  
She shouted a couple profanities and rubbed her head.  
"Wow!" Ranma gasped. "I'm impressed, man! A cold, and yer girl friend, this must be the most findin' you've done in one night since the doctors told yer parents there was no cure!"  
"Cure for what?" Ryoga demanded, then he looked at Nabiki, "Does your head still work?" She scowled and uttered a few more obscenities, but Ryoga was convinced that this was her way of saying 'Yes. Yes it does. Thank you for your concern' it only _sounded_ like she was insulting his mother.  
He hugged her anyway. "You're alive at least! More than we'll be able to say for Ranma in about five minutes. I was so worried!"  
"About what?" Nabiki demanded suddenly. "I wasn't with anyone, I swear! It was just me and . . . me."  
"Hello!" Ranma's mother waved.  
"And her." Nabiki admitted, "But that does not mean I was walking in her foot steps!"  
"No one said you were." Kasumi frowned.  
"'Course we were all thinking it." Ranma chuckled.  
"Do you want to keep all your teeth?" Ryoga hissed.  
"Like you could land a punch on me anyway." Ranma grinned, but he did shut up all the same.  
"I take it I'm not supposed to tell them about your hotel adventure?" Nodoka whispered, Ryoga was close enough to hear it, he raised his eyebrows.  
Nabiki glared daggers at Nodoka. "No, that wont be necessary, and I would have appreciated if you'd asked me that before we came in, or better yet, remembered how I told you not to say anything when we got here! In the future, assume that whatever I want them to know, I'll tell them." Nabiki somehow managed to scream and whisper at the same time.  
She noticed the look Ryoga was giving her, and said, "I'll tell _you_ later, just keep it quiet." She sounded less than honest, butRyoga shrugged.  
Nabiki beamed at her older sister. "So Kasumi, do you have my camera?"  
"Uhm . . . yes . . ." Kasumi was still frowning. "Tsubasa brought it by . . . he tore down another wall while he was at it."  
"What's holding this place together?" Nabiki and Nodoka said at the same time.  
"A miracle?" Kasumi offered. "Father has decided that we should all sleep in tents tonight."  
"Oh great!" Nabiki groaned. "I return to civilization only to find I must go back to sleeping in a tent?"  
"Forget the tents." Soun said, appearing behind Nabiki. "We're all moving into the dojo tonight. Ah Ryoga, good to see you alive--er awake. Well, you can carry the couch."  
"The couch?"  
"I'm not sleeping on the floor." Soun shrugged.  
"Me either." Nodoka agreed, throwing her arms over Soun's shoulders. A panda appeared hovering behind them, claws ready to rip Soun Tendo to shreds.  
"Uh . . . you know mom . . ." Ranma said suddenly, "We still have a house with great walls, why don't you and dad go there?"  
Panda Saotome held up a sign reading "Excellent idea son!"  
Nodoka pouted. "Well I guess we could do that. Oh my, I almost forgot I have a party to get back to!" She released Nabiki's father and ran off.  
Soun sighed with relief. Ryoga wasn't sure why, sure Nodoka was his best friend's wife and that was reason to refuse her perversion . . . but Soun Tendo wasn't known to put up much of a fight whenever she got all suggestive. He said one thing, but in the end he always did another.  
Then he realized he was still holding Nabiki when she squeezed him, and he found he understood. Girls make guys stupid sometimes. No, not just _sometimes_, the effect was _constant_.  
"You know daddy, if we all camp out in the dojo," Nabiki said slowly for some reason, "Ryoga and Ranma will end up keeping us up all night with their arguing, how about if instead you old people stay in the house--you've lived good long lives--and the rest of us will cash in your life support early, and go rent some nice motel rooms?"  
"Motel rooms?" Kasumi frowned.  
"Yeah, me and Ryoga in one, Akane and Ranma in another, and you can invite a friend, it's like a coed sleep over in separate rooms." Nabiki winked at her older sister.  
"You're almost as bad as Nodoka." Kasumi sighed.  
"First of all . . . why am I suddenly an 'old people'?" Soun asked, "Secondly Akane is covered in human filth, she's not decent enough to go anywhere."  
"DAD!!" Akane roared.  
"Where is Akane?" Nabiki asked.  
"Ukyo's still hosing her off." Soun shrugged.  
"You should go to her Ranma." Nabiki observed, "She needs you."  
"Hah! It's hard t'make yerself walk in the direction of someone who smells that bad." Ranma said. "I'll go _to_ her after the stench goes _from_ her."  
"Anyway," Soun said, "while the motel idea holds some merit, I'm not nearly as old as you think, and grand children do not interest me at this time, I'd prefer for all of my daughters to remain without issue for at least another year ."  
"Honestly daddy, you always assume the worst. If it makes you feel any better, we won't let Kasumi invite a friend." Nabiki sighed.  
Ryoga smiled weakly at her. He really missed her when she wasn't around.  
'Gosh I'm pathetic.' He told himself.  
"Aren't we lucky Nabiki isn't a boy? With her libido, and some male genitalia, she'd knock up half the town in the time it takes me to kick Ryoga's sorry butt!" Ranma of course, no longer silent.  
"Come off it, you know you want to get down with Akane." Nabiki scoffed.  
"NABIKI!!" Akane roared.  
"What's up with that?" Nabiki demanded.  
"Maybe the sewage gave her super powers!" Ranma suggested. He got a couple of stares. "Hey, if toxic waste works for some people, why shouldn't sewage work for Akane?"  
"Well . . . it is waste, and it smells pretty toxic." Soun scratched his chin, then he leapt up in triumph! "Now I have _two_ daughters with super powers!" He did a little jig and everyone took a step away from him.  
"So?" Nabiki asked. "As for the sleeping arrangements?"  
"Well . . . you could check into a sleazy motel if you want, or you can stay here in the dojo . . . we can have a camp fire . . ." Soun said in a tempting way.  
Ryoga wondered how they'd do that, but Nabiki didn't seem to care in the least. "A camp fire in the dojo?" He demanded.  
"Oh yes, it worked once before when the skinny girl was here." Soun shrugged. "We told ghost stories."  
"Neat." Ryoga admitted. Not the ghost stories, but the fact that Lo-Chun had been anywhere near a fire and hadn't caused an inferno, he remembered all too well their camping adventure in the American Yellowish Stony Park.  
Turns out fire doesn't scare predators away, it attracts them, and a fire consuming much of the forest attracts quite a few predators.  
_The more you know._  
"What is _wrong_ with you people? The house is missing several patches of wall, and you want to start a fire in the dojo?" Nabiki groaned. "If you were doing this for insurance purposes I could understand, but I know you too well to think you'd be that dishonest!"  
"She's right you know." Kasumi pointed out.  
"Actually . . ." Soun scratched his chin . . . "Insurance eh? All right kids, new plan! You're going to stay at a motel, Saotome and I are going to buy some gasoline--er I mean hammers and try to repair the house." Ryoga frowned. He had this strange feeling like he should take anything with him that he didn't want to see perish in a fire.  
Everyone else got that look too. Except for Nabiki who was practically hopping up and down.  
What was the big deal? She'd slept in a motel just last night, in Ryoga's opinion motels were grossly uncomfortable and the food and television--if any--wasn't worth the extravagant price charged.  
She grabbed his arm, "Ryoga and I share a room!" She announced.  
Oh. _That_ was the big deal.  
Soun shook his head. "Kasumi, you're the oldest, you're in charge. But see to it that those two do not share a room. Keep the girls in one room and the boys in another."  
"Yes father." Kasumi nodded.  
Ranma saluted.  
"This is great!" Ranma said. "Three girls in one room, and two guys in another."  
"That's great?" Ryoga frowned.  
"Heh-heh! Motels have pay-for-viewing movies! Maybe we'll see something Nabiki starred in!" Nabiki's eyes blazed at Ranma, Ranma looked sorry even before the picture frame hit his head.  
"I haven't been in any movies!" Nabiki cried.  
"Are you sure? 'Cause you're a dead ringer for that lady in Wing Captains." Ranma said, rubbing his head.  
"The one that died, or the one that should have died?" Ryoga frowned.  
"Should have died." Ranma said.  
"Oh yeah." Ryoga turned his head sideways. "I see it."  
Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "I bare no resemblance to any character from that idiotic movie! Mention it again and I'll make your lives into a hideous montage of humiliation and shame! Just like I did to Kinnosuke! Hah!"  
"However, the odds of her appearing in a World War II film set in outer space for some reason, are far greater than the odds of her appearing in any of the smut videos Ranma is so much more likely to view."  
"Thank you Kasumi."  
"Because she knows, if she ever did expose herself in such a movie I'd hunt her down, drag her off that set, and take her to church where I'd force her to repent in front of the entire congregation."  
"We'll talk about _this_ later." Nabiki growled at Kasumi, then to Ryoga she said, "She's talking nonsense. You know Kasumi, always has to have her little jokes."  
"Of course." Kasumi agreed.  
Ryoga just gave a noncommittal grunt. He felt like sleeping now.

As Ranma had predicted, the motel had a wide variety of XXX movies. Neither boy actually felt like watching them, Ranma guessed Ryoga just didn't want to accidentally see Nabiki in one of them.  
Honestly Ranma was scared half to death that his mother might pop up on a few of them. (even though he doesn't know about her new job yet.) he wondered if perhaps telling Nabiki how incredibly terrifying it was to be afraid you'd see someone you knew pop up in such a film, she might reconsider.  
And if she reconsidered--he doubted she'd done so after talking to Akane--they could bring it out into the open and he could start making jokes about it.  
He already had six saved up--make that seven.  
Eight.  
Anyway Ryoga had been pretty intent on simply going to sleep when they got here, Nabiki was pouting, and for some reason Akane was too when they were all separated.  
Like she hadn't dressed up in armor and carried a ton of weapons with her that time they'd been left alone together in the house and she'd had a cold.  
However Ryoga, and Ranma were unable to sleep since as it turned out they were rooming with Happosai, and though the pint sized martial arts master was running through the porn collection--all of which was going to be charged to Akane's dad's credit card--they had to keep guard and be sure that he didn't make any more attempts to crawl into bed with Akane.  
It was unclear as to which bed Happosai would sleep in actually, there were two beds in the room, neither Ranma nor Ryoga were willing to share with each other, and Ranma was a little afraid of sharing with Happi, since he had no doubt that Happosai might splash him with cold water if he got too desperate.  
There had been two attempts at just that already, both times it had been at Ryoga's expense, when Ranma leapt nimbly out of the way. Though Ranma pointed out that Ryoga's affliction could very well solve all their problems as it wouldn't be considered perverted at all if P-Chan spent the night nestled between a pair of Tendo sisters.  
Ryoga had hit him.  
His jaw still hurt.  
He wasnt sure why Ryoga had reacted that way, Ranma was fairly certain that just a moment before he said it, P-Chan had been considering the best way to accomplish just that.  
Happosai had pointed out that Ranma could simply transform and spend the night with Akane. He tried to hit Happosai, but the little man jumped out of the way.  
So Ranma hit Ryoga.  
Ryoga was still rubbing his jaw.  
Happosai had tried to hold conspiracy with Ryoga, plotting that if Ranma spent the night with the girls they could use Ryoga's breaking point technique to make a hole and watch the fun. Happosai also suggested that he might be able to swipe a camera in just such an event.  
Ryoga tried to hit him, but somehow ended up hitting himself.  
Now Ranma was fast alseep--or rather, pretending to be, it was hard to sleep with some woman on the TV moaning and groaning and screaming because a candle was being melted over her nether regions--and Ryoga was hanging upside down from a rope trap Happosai had somehow managed to place when no one was looking.  
There'd been a flash of light from the direction of the Tendo home not long ago.  
From far off there was the sound of fire trucks, police sirens and ambulances.  
Ranma tried not to concern himself with it.

The rain beat down outside of Maro's hide out. His sanctuary. He closed his eyes and scowled.  
Rain, how he hated the rain! And yet he loved it as well. Rain was, in a way, life. It wasn't alive, but it quenched thirst, it helped plants to grow, it nurtured life, and Maro wasn't exactly fond of that little fact. But then water was also the key means of stopping fire, though of course Maro had his fan of extinguishing handy at all times. But fire was the one thing Maro hated almost as much as life in general.  
He was not really afraid of it, but too often it reminded him--painfully--not to be too careless around his explosions.  
There was quite a fire raging not so far off. So he didn't mind the rain tonight. He lay back against a wall and opened his eyes. Before him stood a young woman, he supposed she might have been attractive by the standards of people who actually cared about such things, but to him she was just another bundle of life, and as a woman she was even worse, a perpetuator of life.  
Some day--unless he killed her, as he was planning to do now--she might even bring a new life into existence! Disgusting creature!  
Make that, "disgusting creature with a gun"  
"The great thing about being richer than many small countries," The woman said, "is that I can track down people like you, and get off scott free when I kill them." A trio of men dressed in pink appeared, guns trained on Maro's head.  
"You're an assassin?" Maro demanded. He stood up and displayed his two bronze rings, "I too am an assassin. Of the _Nekekami_ guild, greatest of all guilds! I demand that you stand down this instant!"  
"An assassin? But that makes sense! You're a hit man hired by one of my father's rivals! You couldn't kill me, so you attacked my love, believing that my sorrow would weaken me? Well your plan has failed assassin, and here you die!"  
"What are you talking about?" Maro demanded, he killed lots of people, but he'd never been caught off guard by the mourners before!  
"_Silence_ hit man scum!" The woman hissed. "Before I end your miserable, pitiful existence, you will tell me--who sent you?"  
Maro had the strangest urge to do something violent and unkind, but the young woman was still holding a gun on him, and her comrades weren't likely to let him get to her before they gunned him down.  
Maybe this was why master Jun used guns, a quick draw would be useful right now. However, not for the first time in his life Maro seemed completely helpless. Though he didn't feel that way at all.  
"The clock is ticking, and my finger might just twitch. Tell me _now_." The woman hissed.  
"Who are you?" Maro demanded.  
"You know that already, I'm sure." She chuckled darkly. "I am afraid my patience has reached it's end, I would have liked to know who sent you, but if I could track you down so easily, I can track them as well."  
"How _did_ you track me down?" Maro ventured.  
The girl frowned. "Um . . . don't ask such unimportant questions! When you arrive in the after life, tell Hades that Yoshimi sent you!" She pulled the trigger, Maro dodged, the bullet grazed his left ear, but the damage was superficial.  
His fan was in his hand before he'd even consciously thought to draw it, and he engulfed two of Yoshimi's accomplices in illusion, the third fired a shot that hit one of his comrades as Maro hit the dirt.  
He rolled from the ground, coming up right next to an unimpressed Yoshimi who responded immediately with a fast kick towards his head.  
Maro dodged, met the ground again, and Yoshimi fired a shot that blasted a hole in the floor near his head. He reached into a fold of his jacket and produced a throwing dagger. This really was more Han's fare, but he'd tried to become proficient with them. He hurled it at Yoshimi.  
Like lightning she turned to the side, caught the knife with one hand and fired her gun with the other, Maro felt a sudden impact in his shoulder, as if someone had punched him with a fist made of brick.  
He put his hand on the wound and felt blood. His blood.  
Was he . . . losing?  
No! He'd come too far to give up now! This stranger would not deny him his revenge, the revenge that he _deserved_, that he _needed_! Now here he was, almost a full-fledged assassin, and this strange woman had the nerve to just pop up and attack him?  
Maro glared at her, leapt to his feet and took a swipe with his fan! She shot it out of his hand, amazingly it was undamaged, a testament to it's power, but not incredibly helpful right this moment. Yoshimi stood there, and examined her nails as if to say that Maro continued to exist at her leisure.  
He'd show her that underestimating him was a mistake!  
He'd blow her up!  
Poison her!  
Smash her head in with a rock!  
_Something_!  
He reached into his coat and revealed a grenade, "Catch!" he shouted!  
He'd blow her up after all, gosh he loved explosions! Which was interesting since he was not a fan of the fires they left in their wake . . .  
He glared at Yoshimi, the pain in his shoulder motivated him. Kill her! Kill her!  
Even if he died too, he had to kill her!  
Yes! He wasn't going to lose to her, he'd make her life end! And for some reason he felt as if doing so might actually be considered a _good_ thing by others, he had the strangest feeling that if he killed this Yoshimi person, somewhere, someone, maybe even _several_ someones would jump up and shout "**FINALLY**!"  
. . .  
. . .  
But then she shot him before he could pull the pin . . . and everything went black.

To Be Continued . . .

Next Time . . . A little look at how Akane and the other girls spent their night in the motel room, find out what the explosions and fire trucks were all about, and see why Soun and Genma are back in the hospital with the two overly talkative nurses! Is Maro dead? How might Jun react to such an event? Might he track down and slaughter Yoshimi? Or is Maro alive, resulting in him slaughtering Yoshimi? What if Yoshimi just doesn't get slaughtered at all? Why is it that the fate of a pair of OCs that almost everyone _hates_ makes up almost half the paragraph? Does GrimmZ even know what he's doing when he's writing these things? Does he? Huh? Huh! Does he? Huh!? (slap!) Oh! Sorry . . .  
Anyway we may even try to get the tournament out of the way at last, and might even see what Kuno is up to. Shampoo and Lotion arrive in Nerima in time for the tournament, but they wont be competing . . . at first. As wacky combat ensues, find out what causes the amazons to get their hands dirty in chapter 11 - The Madness!


	11. The Madness!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any of the characters from it. All of the original characters in this story are made up by myself, any similarities to any person, living or otherwise is coincidental and unintentional.  
The Chrissy mentioned in this story is fictional and all movie titles regarding her are fictional. If such movies do exist now or at a later date, I do not own them and had nothing to do with them. 

Note: I am sorry to report that Yoshimi is not using gunkata, I've never heard of it but it sounds interesting, so I'll look it up and maybe that'll change.  
This chapter has some errors hidden in there (not on purpose mind you) and they'll be delt with sooner or later,but you've had a long wait and I wanted to get this chapter up the instant I had a chance.The next chapter will hopefully go a long way towards explaining everything that's going on. It should take me less time than this one did, since I have more time to work on things.

Charlotte's Sequel!  
Chapter XI!  
The Madness!

Unlike the boys in chapter 10, the girls had solved the bed issue instantly-women are so efficient, no?-they had simply drawn lots, Nabiki held three pencils, two sharpened, one not. Whomever got the longer unsharpened pencil got her own bed.  
Despite Nabiki's valiant attempts at cheating, Kasumi got the bed to herself, and Akane and Nabiki were sharing. Though it was late, all three girls had decided to watch just one movie before going to sleep.  
Akane regretted it.  
"Now why is he melting a candle on her you know what?" Akane demanded. "That's not romantic or sexy, it's gross, and it looks painful."  
"But it's kinky." Kasumi pointed out. "For some people the kink outweighs the pain, they find pleasure in it."  
"Hey, say what you want," Nabiki scoffed, "all I know is the instant some boy starts dripping melted candle on any part of me, the date's over!"  
"It's really not all that bad." Kasumi shrugged. Then she added quickly, "I mean I guess. I guess it's really not all that bad, I certainly don't know after all, no one's ever done that to me . . ."  
Akane believed it, after all the very idea that Kasumi could even think of doing something immoral was laughable.  
"She's hit the top four times already, she must think it's wonderful." Nabiki nodded.  
"Unrealistic camera tricks." Akane scoffed. "Four times in five minutes? Bah!" Not that she really knew, she began to wonder if maybe Ranma was just impotent and that was why he didn't want to be with her.  
"You're thinking real time, think movie time, I'm sure for her it's been maybe ten minutes." Kasumi offered helpfully.  
"I wonder if the boys are watching this same movie." Nabiki said thoughtfully.  
Akane scoffed. "Maybe, if they've got no taste whatsoever! Come to think of it . . . can I ask again why we're watching this movie."  
"Actually . . . whose idea was it to watch this?" Kasumi asked.  
"It was either this, or that dumb cheer leader movie. We took a vote, it was unanimous." Nabiki said.  
"Only because 'Chrissy does Texas' sounded like an old western movie! With cowboys!" Akane protested. Akane wanted Kasumi to remember and remain clear on the fact that she was an innocent, moral young lady, just like her.  
"And now you know better." Nabiki nodded curtly.  
"Well now that we know better, we could always watch something else." Kasumi offered. Good old Kasumi, suggesting the correct and moral path without making the perverted Nabiki feel like a pervert.  
"You're the one who hid the remote when I suggested that earlier." Nabiki pointed out.  
"No I didn't. You're thinking of Akane . . . hey! Look over there, it's a burning panda!" Kasumi cried in a most un-Kasumi fashion. Nabiki and Akane turned their heads, more than a little afraid to see uncle Saotome had forgot to stop drop and roll, but when they looked back the remote had magically appeared in Nabiki's lap.  
Kasumi was sitting innocently on her bed.  
Nabiki flipped it over to the cheer leader movie . . . after about ten minutes they were back at 'Chrissy does Texas'. Now there were cowboys. Three of them. And only one Chrissy.  
And because women are so efficient-porn stars doubly so-Chrissy solved the problem of three boys and one of her in an instant. It was . . . not pretty. Like a car accident on the side of the free way it was the sort of thing you didn't want to stare at, but just couldn't look away from, Akane had to force herself to blink a couple of times.  
"So Nabiki . . . now that you've seen some of this filth, do you still want to star in it?" Akane asked.  
"Yes, it looks like fun. Kasumi and I have watched porn before. Been watching it since I was your age. Why did you think I liked boys so much?" Nabiki said with an amused grin.  
Akane's jaw dropped, she looked at Kasumi . . . no way! Nabiki sure, but not Kasumi! Kasumi was a shining pillar of female modesty and morality! Kasumi was her role model!  
"It was for . . . educational purposes." Kasumi said. "It was very educational, but not in a manner that can be applied to most real life, everyday problems. Some mind you, but not most"  
Akane sighed. The movie ended with Chrissy being arrested for indecent exposure after having a three way with some college students in public. As she was driven off in the S.W.A.T. vehicle, the entire S.W.A.T. team had some fun with her, she didn't seem to mind, she even gave advice and made requests. The woman-or at least the character she played-had some odd preferences.  
Akane wondered if that woman ever had any problems getting to sleep at night, dealing with the acts she'd committed for not a lot of money.  
Some people were just plain sick.  
The movie ended, Nabiki made a comment about how Chrissy might be sorry for forgetting her pills at the beginning of the movie, Kasumi said something about the many diseases likely passed on through so many orgies in the space of a two hour movie.  
Akane sighed. Some people, her sisters included, were just plain sick.  
But as the lights went out and everyone went to sleep Akane couldn't help but think of the movie, only instead of sultry Chrissy she saw herself in all those situations . . .  
It was really hard not to wonder what it'd be like to get that sort of attention and to actually be able to want it. Not to have to worry about how wrong you knew it was, but to enjoy it and not feel like you'd sold your soul just for enjoying pleasure.  
Unconsciously she moved her hand over her thigh . . . between her legs . . . she felt the soft material of her pajamas, she felt nervous excitement as her hand moved slowly into the pajama pants, between the legs . . . this was strange, she knew it was wrong, she knew better than this, had been raised better, but . . . no it was so strange! No longer strange because she struggled with the morality of it, but strange because she was so sure she should be feeling her hand moving over her thigh and between her legs and . . .  
What she did feel suddenly was Nabiki's elbow in her side.  
"Sorry!" Akane said, glad it was too dark for Nabiki to see the utter shame painted across her face. "That was an accident!"  
"Kasumi? Can I sleep with you tonight?" Nabiki whined. "Akane's gone crazy and perverted and stuff!"  
"We settled our sleeping arrangements fairly, now go to sleep." Kasumi laughed softly.  
"Nabiki?" Akane whispered, trying to think of some excuse, a way to calm her annoyed sister. "I was just . . . I mean um . . . say, how often do you and Ryoga do it?" Akane almost hit herself. It was true, she'd meant to ask her sister that very question since she and Ryoga seemed to be doing all right while Akane and Ranma's relationship-if not for their engagement-seemed more like a rough but affectionate friendship, or worse, more similar to that of a brother and sister. But now wasn't the right time to ask that sort of thing, it had just slipped out.  
"Okay Akane here's how it is . . . I know sleeping next to me probably excites you, I cant blame you, I mean I am amazingly beautiful and all . . . but I don't swing that way, got it? Have no interest in girls here. So go to sleep or I'll press charges."  
"But I'm your sister!" Akane protested.  
"Charges." Nabiki warned sounding almost serious.  
"I'm just curious, I mean me and Ranma never do it." Maybe sex was just the key to a good relationship?  
There was silence for a while, then Nabiki whispered, "If it's ever less than six times a week I punish him."  
From her solitary, comfortable bed, Kasumi made a sort of choking sound, like someone who had swallowed their own tongue out of pure shock. (Do not attempt this at home)  
"How?" Akane asked, too curious to aid her eldest sister.  
"I spend all his money." Nabiki said simply.  
"Don't you do that anyway?" Akane raised her eyebrows, thought with her back turned to her in the dark, Nabiki couldn't see her do it.  
"Yeah, but I do it maliciously when I'm punishing him. Trust me, he knows he's being disciplined."  
"Oh . . . I don't think that'd work with Ranma." Akane said. A shame because it would have been a very easy way to punish Ranma, regardless of the crime.  
"Yeah, he's got no money anyway." Nabiki sighed.  
There was another pause, this seemed somehow more uncomfortable than the subject of discussion, finally Nabiki said very softly, "Listen . . . you don't have to do anything you don't want to, okay?"  
"What?" Akane's eyebrows raised pointlessly again.  
"What I mean is . . . Ryoga and I were ready for it . . . kind of . . . I didn't think it'd hurt as badly as it did but that's entirely besides the point-"  
"Wait, how badly did it hurt?" Akane demanded.  
"I said that's besides the point! Look I was ready . . . I think Ryoga was ready, but he might also have been really bored, that can cause one to think they're ready. So if you're just bored and you're not ready there's no need to rush and uh . . . I know you two are getting married and all, but there's still no need to . . . uh . . ." Nabiki just trailed off.  
"She means emotions can be confusing things, especially at this stage in your life." Kasumi spoke up now, "No matter what others might tell you, it doesn't make you 'a real woman', and there's absolutely nothing wrong with not doing it, so don't rush into it"  
"It's not that we don't do it that bothers me," Akane pointed out, "its that it doesn't seem like Ranma is bothered by the fact that we don't do it, and I feel like he should be." She said.  
"If it doesn't bother you, why should it bother him?" Nabiki asked.  
"Because he's a man-most of the time-and therefore a pervert." Akane scoffed at her sister's ignorance.  
"Maybe he's getting some on the side. From Ukyo, or Shampoo. They sure seem ready." Nabiki laughed softly to herself.  
It was now Akane's turn to elbow Nabiki.  
"Ouch! Well then maybe it's coming from Kuno-baby, just because Ranma is taking care of business behind your back doesn't mean you're not still the only woman in his life"  
Akane frowned. Maybe she'd try to find some way to punish Ranma and make him want her like Nabiki did to Ryoga . . . then she could turn him down, deny him, and watch him cry tears of desire . . . that would be so neat.

Meanwhile . . .  
"Doctor Perverse! Doctor Perverse! We have two patients in the ER and you're the only doctor on call!" The blonde nurse cried to the stall door in the men's room.  
"I'm a little busy." The doctor said. "Are you two supposed to be in here? This is the men's room, it's for men"  
"Doctor!" The brunette that always accompanied the blonde cried, "This is an emergency; they're the same ones who survived that poison gas attack and-"  
"Just give them each twelve cc's of estrogen or something!" The doctor commanded.  
"Doctor that's madness!" Blonde protested.  
"If a man can't use the rest room in peace-" The doctor was protesting.  
"If you treat them we'll sleep with you!" Blonde cried, brunette slapped her across the face.  
"I've had you two already, don't bore me." The doctor scoffed. Now blonde had to hold brunette back as she tried to kick down the door, her hands balled into fists.  
"There's a news crew here!" The blonde tried.  
The door swung open, two half dressed nurses fell face forward out of the stall the doctor had been in, he zipped his pants and rushed out, "C'mon, before they croak and the cameras leave!"  
The two nurses looked at their two colleagues who were going about putting their cloths on, ("You're wearing my bra," one of them pointed out to the other, which resulted in some giggling) and then looked at each other.  
"We need to consider a change in profession." Brunette said.  
"I don't need this kind of abuse." The blonde agreed.  
"Are you two coming?" The doctor demanded, leaning into the room, "I need someone for the post-surgery party, and Tanba is still on vacation!"  
The two young women exchanged unhappy looks. They were unhappy for two reasons, first of all this meant the doctor had already decided there would be surgery, despite knowing nothing about the patient's condition, which meant they might as well call "the long black cars" right now. But also they were unhappy because of the near constant sexual molestation their job got them both from raunchy patients and their boss, the doctor who had enough incriminating photographs of the both of them to ensure that should they ever turn him in, they'd never work in the same country again.  
The writer feels that now is a good time to inform you that if this story were the sort of story that had or would soon have things such as violence, sex, explosions, more violence, dinosaurs and a terrible war between rival assassin guilds involving poor Rand and Ryoga being the 'chosen ones', these nurses might just break out a pair of automatics and "purge" the hospital of all wickedness before the series ends . . . unfortunately for you and them, dear reader, this story has no dinosaurs. So they just sighed, and nodded their not necessarily consenting consent.  
"We'll be right there doctor." Blonde said.  
"Not you two!" The doctor scowled, blonde almost collapsed with relief, "I told you I already had you two! I mean those two!" He pointed to the two other nurses-both had black hair, if that means anything to you.  
The other two nurses got up and stuck their tongues out at blonde and brunette.  
"Go then!" Brunette snapped, "You may think you're all that and a box of chewy grape flavored birth control pills, but you're not! And one of these days he's going to get drunk and boom! He's back with us, yo!"  
"But I thought we didn't want him back with us!" Blonde protested.  
"Shut up, I was just being . . . you know . . . confrontational!" Brunette scowled.  
The two walked slowly back to the two patients, slowly because they were hoping the evil doctor would be done saving or destroying lives by the time they got there, and also because they were discussing what sort of jobs they'd be good at.

Soun's eyes opened slowly, he saw a woman leaning over him, she had long black hair, she was slightly lacking in the chest department.  
"Where's the blonde woman from the last time?" Soun pouted.  
"He's alive doctor!" The raven haired woman reported.  
"Darn . . . I mean 'good'! I mean, 'darn good'! Darn good news nurse . . . whatever your name is."  
"My name is-" The woman began, but she was not allowed to finish.  
"I don't really care." The doctor cut her off, though she seemed not to mind.  
"Yes, of course sir." The nurse nodded.  
The doctor strolled over to Soun. "Just what exactly happened to you?" He demanded.  
"Uh . . ." Soun scratched his head.  
"You look like you've been through some sort of explosion!" The doctor chuckled.  
"It was insurance!" Soun cried. "My house, my beautiful house is constantly being destroyed, and the insurance company canceled our policy shortly after my son-in-law and my comrade over there moved in! Now my walls are coming down and I have to fix it, but there's no way I'm paying for it! I needed insurance! And they said 'no'! So I bought some gasoline and I thought I'd burn down the insurance agency's office, but then I lit a cigarette while I was holding all the gasoline tanks and BOOM!"  
The doctor blinked, then wrote something down on a clipboard. "Your friend over there said you two had been involved in a car accident. We were going to tell the police that story, but yours might just get some news crews down here, so thanks!"  
"But . . . but it was a car accident!" Soun decided, even though they didn't have a car, "I was in a car accident! I was only joking! Oh-ho-ho-ho! Don't be silly! Me, burn down the insurance agency's office? These stories you tell doctor! You're such a riot! A real comedian, I-"  
"Will shut up before I put snake venom in your I.V." The doctor said casually.  
"I'm not . . . hooked up to an I.V." Soun frowned.  
The doctor looked at him, then nodded. "Oh. Okay then." He said. "Hey, you're the guy with that cute daughter right?"  
"Which one? I've got three." Soun said proudly.  
"Whichever one's over eighteen. How's about I get their phone numbers? You know, so I can call them, tell them you're here"  
"We already informed the family." The blonde nurse from before said as she and her brunette companion entered the room. "They should be here any minute."  
Soun was happy to see them, he had the strange feeling that they did far more to save lives than the doctor did.  
"Curse-er I mean 'praise' your efficiency, nurse. You'll be sure to give me those numbers later, wont you?"  
"How did you know to call the motel where our kids are staying?" Soun scratched his head.  
"We didn't, we called your home." Brunette scoffed.  
"Our home? And you got an answer?" Genma coughed, it was the first time he'd contributed to the conversation since Soun had woken up.  
"Yes, the Saotome residence." Brunette rolled her eyes and spoke in a tone one might use when one is about to unleash a great deal of homicidal rage, "Your wife or something is on her way here."  
Just then Nodoka appeared in the doorway, "My god, they're hideous! Pull the plug!" She cried, her tone was not one of humor, she sounded perfectly honest and just a little frightened.  
Still, an explosion was probably serious. Soun looked in the mirror, he didn't look terribly different, though some of his mustache had been singed off. Genma looked completely normal.  
Which incidentally raised a few questions in Soun's head, since the story about the gasoline tanks and the insurance agency had been true. He suspected he should have been incinerated. "Uh, incidentally, did we succeed in blowing up the insurance agency?"  
"Hmm? No." The blonde nurse said. "You blew up a library. Luckily, because it was a library, no one was inside of it . . . not even the librarian. The strip club across the street would have been a real tragedy though."  
"Yes." Soun agreed, likely for different reasons than what big breast blonde babe had in mind.  
"Not much of a tragedy. One less cat house and its worthless patrons wouldn't have hurt the city." Brunette scoffed, the doctor looked at her as if she'd said something truly sacrilegious. "Anyway you wont be sued for the damages."  
"Oh . . . good." Genma said.  
The doctor looked at Nodoka, then counted the number of available women in the immediate area on his fingers, then said, "All right, I'm going to need you two," he pointed to the two dark haired nurses, "and you," he pointed to Nodoka, "in the supply closet, stat!"  
"Sure! I'll do it anywhere!" Nodoka said, seeing through the poor innuendo immediately and offering no resistance.  
"Just what I like to hear, you ever consider becoming a nurse?" The doctor asked.  
"No, I'm going to be a porn star." Nodoka said.  
This was news to Genma apparently, because his jaw dropped for a moment, then he started screaming curses.  
The doctor on the other hand thought it was wonderful news. "That's excellent! You'll be going into my second favorite line of work!"  
"What about the patients, doctor?" Brunette sighed.  
The doctor frowned at Soun and Genma. "Try and keep 'em alive. Not that I really care. I'll be busy, so just pull the plug on any other emergency cases!"  
"But doctor, we cant do that!" Blonde protested.  
"Don't worry." The doctor said with a wink, "I wont tell anyone if you wont."  
Soun and Genma looked at each other. "In the event of, oh say . . . any sort of emergency, is there any way we can avoid coming to this hospital ever again?" Soun asked.  
"Trust me, we've been asking ourselves the same question most of the night." Blonde sighed.  
"You know," Soun said, "since you two keep popping up in our lives over and over for no apparent reason, we might as well know your names."  
"We've met twice sir, that hardly counts as us popping up over and over. And the apparent reason is that you keep having these accidents and-" Blonde was saying, but Brunette cut her off, her hands shaking with rage.  
"Our names?" Brunette roared. "How dare you ask for our names? You're old enough to be my father!"  
"Oh don't be silly!" Blonde chuckled nervously, "They're not trying to pick us up-"  
"We're not?" Genma asked Soun, who just sighed at him.  
"They're just curious since we keep running into them and then wasting their time by talking a lot about stuff nobody gives two bad words about." Blonde finished. "Anyway our names are-"  
"Don't tell them!" Brunette cried, throwing her hand over her comrade's mouth and giving Soun and Genma evil looks. "If you tell them, they can find us in the phone book and start calling us! Old perverts like them? I wont have it! You stay away from us, you hear me? My friend may be incredibly easy and stupid after getting all drugged up in college, but I'm not like her, I'm on to you!"  
"Hey!" Blonde protested, "I never did any drugs in college! Well I mean there was this one time where this guy put some into my drink, but I didn't know so it doesn't-"  
"Stay away from us!" Brunette continued. "Or else I'll get a restraining order that keeps you five thousand yards away from planet earth at all times!"  
"Uh . . . okay . . ." Soun said.  
"If you can do that, why don't you get one of those for the doctor?" Blonde demanded. "If they send a replacement, he might actually do his job!"  
"Do not question mmmeeeee!" Brunette cried.  
"You'll have to forgive her, since we started working here we've both suffered terrible sexual harassment and molestation, we've both been tied up and whipped, which was a lot less fun than I thought it would be, and pictures of us in such a state were sent to our relatives as Christmas cards so as a result we've both been excommunicated from our families which is a shame because we really need some money. We're not even allowed to go inside any church. Our personal images appear on the Internet without our consent but there's nothing that can be done about it because we had to sign this contract or be stabbed with a really bloody knife. After all that, for some reason she's a little guarded." Blonde said as Brunette dragged her out of the room.  
"And now we know even more useless information." Soun sighed, massaging his forehead. "It isn't as if anyone really cares about these two. If our lives were a book, this would be the writer's attempt at filling space when he doesn't need to! It's getting annoying and if it doesn't end now I'm going on strike!"  
"No, no, I'm sure this information will prove useful at a later time . . . Hey, wait!" Genma called, "What's the web site? The one where your image is used without permission!" He demanded.  
"We don't even have a computer, Saotome." Soun sighed.  
"Well we'll get one!" Genma cried.  
"You're married!" Soun cried.  
"My wife is in a supply closet with the doctor who seems to think he saved my life even though I woke up to him ordering one of the hussy nurses to give me a lethal injection and make it look like an accident!" Genma scowled.  
From said closet, Nodoka moaned lustily; "Oh! Oh! Yes! You are so much better than my husband!"  
"I'm entitled to a little adultery of my own." Genma said, eye twitching.  
Just then a bed pan flew into the room and hit Genma in the head, its contents splattering everywhere. The nurses returned, Blonde being dragged while holding onto Brunette's leg and screaming at her "Stop! Remember what the shrink used to say before he hypnotized and raped you! Deep breaths! Deep breaths! Count to ten! For heaven's sake count to teh-hen!" as Brunette dragged herself closer to Genma, another bed pan in one hand and a dangerous looking injection in the other.  
"Save me!" Genma leapt behind Soun, dragging a couple of expensive looking machines to the floor with him.  
"Maybe it's just a flu shot." Soun said helpfully.  
"Oh-ho no! It's a rabies shot!" Brunette corrected, a crazed look in her eyes.  
"See? That's good." Soun said. "You've been meaning to get one since you got into that fight with that other panda"  
"She doesn't mean the vaccine!" Blonde warned.  
"Oh . . ." Soun buried his face in his hands .The world was insane, no other way to explain the crazy events that seemed to happen only to him and his comrade.  
The world was insane . . .

Maro's eyes fluttered open, his shoulder hurt. He looked around, it was dark. Again he felt a terrible pain in his shoulder, but aside from that he wasn't really sure where else he might have been injured.  
Utter darkness, he closed his eyes, opened them again and noted there was no difference.  
He sat up, he was laying in a soft, comfortable bed . . . which he immediately hated.  
Comfortable beds? Hah! Who needed them? Comfort in itself was a-  
Suddenly the lights came on, blinding light! Maro shielded his eyes, he hissed in contempt at the light.  
"Too bright for you, assassin?" A familiar yet implacable female voice hissed darkly. "Increase light by twenty percent!" The young woman cried.  
"Uh . . . it's a switch system, it goes on or off but the lights don't get brighter than this ma'am." Someone reported from far off. There was the ear splitting sound of a gunshot, then that same someone said, "I mean uh . . . right away ma'am!"  
Perhaps it was only Maro's imagination, but the lights did seem to brighten.  
"You know I am Yoshimi Harume." The woman's voice hissed, "You know I am one of the wealthiest young ladies in Japan. Whoever sent you, whatever they're paying you, I can double it!"  
Maro kept his eyes closed, but raised his eyebrows at this. "What are you talking about?"  
"Evidently you're more than a match for my beloved Ryoga," Yoshimi continued, "I do not know how, I almost cannot believe it, however I can use this to my advantage."  
"Ryoga? You mean Hibiki?" Maro roared, his memory returning, "You attacked me because of Hibiki? I'll kill you, then I'll go back and kill him too"  
"I beg to differ." Yoshimi laughed. "If you wish to continue living, you will begin working for me."  
"Will I?" Maro hissed. "Will I really?" He didn't need vision to know where the young woman was, she kept talking, he could tell she was about ten paces away and circling him. Maro reached into his coat for a weapon . . .  
But his coat was gone!  
"We've relieved you of your equipment. All of it, including the bomb you had hidden in your cellular phone"  
"I had a bomb in my cell phone?" Maro cried in panic! He didn't remember putting a bomb in his cell phone so that meant someone else had! "Hey wait a minute . . . I had a cell phone?" He cried in an even greater panic, if he'd known he'd had a cell phone he'd have used it that time he'd been stranded in the middle of the desert!  
Hey! He'd never been stranded in the middle of the desert! Now he was confused . . .  
"You haven't asked me what I want from you." Yoshimi pointed out.  
"I don't really care. But since you're so nice, I'll play along." Maro scowled. "What do you want?"  
"You will challenge Ryoga to a battle, and tell him that if he loses he must wed me instead of Nabiki Tendo."  
"Hibiki cares for this woman?" Maro demanded, feeling like maybe he might just listen to what Yoshimi had to say before killing her.  
"Well I suppose if one sits down and examines the situation, he does. But if you ignore the things you don't like about the situation, as I do, then he is actually just a helpless slave, trapped in a web of sex, lies, sex, desire for sex, and more sex! There is more to love than sex! More to romance than hot naked flesh on hot naked flesh and . . . UGH!" Yoshimi screamed, Maro wondered if she were pulling her hair out of her head. It sounded like she was, and that would be funny.  
But when he tried to open his eyes to see, they were assaulted by the light.  
But he had an idea . . . maybe it was the heavy bandages wrapped around his head, but this plan of his was so ingenious he felt, that it would allow him to kill Ranma Saotome, Ryoga Hibiki, Yoshimi whatever, and Nabiki Tendo too, just for the trouble she'd caused him.  
"Suppose Hibiki wont fight me?" Maro asked.  
"He will. I know his mind, I got a cat scan of it from when he was asleep."  
"Oh . . . kay . . . anyway suppose he doesn't fight me for your hand in marriage? Suppose he knows he'll lose?"  
"All the more reason to fight. He wants to marry me!" Yoshimi squealed.  
"Keep telling yourself that." Maro said calmly, "but I think we should kidnap Nabiki Tendo. That will lure him out."  
"I think of Nabiki Tendo as something of a sisterly figure, which is to say I am not incredibly fond of her and do wish to see her gang raped by a pack of killer baboons, none the less I would feel simply awful if Ryoga darling suffered any unhappiness at her death."  
"I never said anything about her death." Maro pointed out.  
"Of course you did." Yoshimi said conspiritously.  
Maro grinned. "Well . . . when you put it that way . . ."  
"So you kidnap Nabiki, challenge Ryoga, he rushes to save her, you defeat him, he marries me, and you get a nice big reward. It seems to me that everyone wins"  
"Indeed." Maro grinned wickedly. "All I need is information on Nabiki, anything you can spare. Places she likes to go, people she spends time with aside from Ryoga? So we can arrange capture."  
"That will not be a problem." Yoshimi sneered, "I've set everything up."  
Well that was fast! "Good." Maro nodded. "Might I have my possessions back then?"  
"Shortly, shortly. First I'm going to make my escape, leaving you here alone, and tied up with your possessions, as well as my ingenious instructions on a table in front of you."  
"Uh . . . what?" Maro frowned.  
"Yes, well if you're half the assassin I hope you are, getting yourself untied should not be a problem."  
"Of course not." Maro said, unenthusiastically. He might be here a while.  
"And when you have freed yourself, do see a doctor about your head."  
"Huh? What's wrong with my head?"  
"Nothing!" Yoshimi cried innocently. "I'm afraid I really must be going now, good luck! Takeru, tie him to the chair!"  
Maro sighed as someone, probably Takeru, shoved him into a chair and began to tie him up. He would have to conclude this mission soon, master Jun must be worried sick about his progress!

Meanwhile Jun really was concerned over Maro. "Doesn't he ever die?" He demanded of no one in particular.  
He'd gone through the trouble of telling that maniac girl where Maro was, mostly out of curiosity, but in the end he'd found it to be a show worth watching. While he'd figured Maro would simply kill her in the end the fool was beaten by her! Beaten by some silly teenage girl with a gun!  
That the girl had a gun meant nothing, it should not have mattered, she should have been dead before she could pull the trigger, Maro was sloppy.  
All that would have been bad enough, but to survive a shot to the head? Maro had to have some nerve to go on existing when Jun saw no real reason for it.  
Maro seemed to exist only to kill indiscriminately. That it was, in a sense, the guild that had made him that way was besides the point, the guild saw no use for him, and he'd failed in the minor task Jun himself had set up for him, and now he'd been shot down by a teenage girl! For the young man to go on living after doing so much to prove he was so worthless was really quite rude.  
Jun knew guns, they were his weapon of choice, he knew the human body, he was after all a real assassin, so he knew right away that the girl's shot had not killed Maro, all the same he'd sort of crossed his fingers.  
Maro's task was, and ever had been a simple one. To combat Ranma Saotome and Ryoga Hibiki and then kill them, or be killed by them. Jun had thought the latter more likely but after witnessing the battle he feared that he might soon be faced with the delicate matter of explaining to Maro that killing Saotome and Hibiki had not made him part of guild.  
That it had all been an elaborate ploy on Jun's part to size up the two boys and see how powerful they were, Lo-Chun had seemed quite sure of them in her letters to Jun, though it was hard to tell since she, out of genius or pure stupidity, some times wrote in a hybrid language of Japanese, Chinese, English, and what Jun believed might be Arabic. But if they could make Han nervous, they should have annihilated Maro down to his last cell, Saotome or Hibiki could be what Jun suspected they were . . . but then they had proven insufficient. Saotome had overcome Maro, but with difficulty, and Hibiki had been eliminated from the onset.  
And now Maro taken prisoner by a small troop of pink ninja, and the maniac girl. Jun's plans were on hold, and it was insane to think that the rest of the guild wouldn't figure out what he was up to before Maro could be healed of his wounds and carry out the rest of his assignment. But perhaps one more try was all it would take?  
Did he have time to waste? What if the guild made their move first? What if one of his rivals realized what he was doing and beat him at his own game?  
There had to be some way, some way to prove he was right about Saotome and Hibiki before that happened.  
He scowled, Maro was useless to him now, he could sneak in there and eliminate him, but he hardly felt like the younger man was worth the energy, and there'd be time enough for Maro's murder once Jun's own safety was assured. Though he had no way of knowing of Maro's plans to continue the mission Jun was confident that by this point time dictated that he simply handle things himself, which he most definitely did not want to do.

Somewhere . . . far away from Japan . . . but not too far mind you . . . well okay, a fair distance but not unthinkably far from Japan, Shampoo was lying on her back in a small crate, holding her tail over herself for warmth.  
Despite the less than favorable traveling conditions she was thrilled at the fact that they'd arrive in Japan and on Great Grandmother's door step tomorrow afternoon.  
Or this afternoon, a cat in a crate peeking out through some air holes which only allow cold air to flow through has no concept of days.  
But she'd hand over Lo-Chun, and whatever business Great Grandmother had with her would end, Shampoo could go back to her routine before the annoying, skinny, tea drinking, knife loving, loud mouth, constantly talking, better off dead, llama-girl came into her life.  
Though she'd miss having someone new to bully, who was mentally inferior and physically inept-whatever that meant-she'd easily adjust and go back to Mousse and Akane Tendo.  
And Ryoga Hibiki when the mood took her.  
And of course Ranma would be anxiously wondering where she was. Perhaps she should have brought him a souvenir?  
No, her safe return would be enough for him, he'd be so thrilled and . . . who was she kidding?  
Herself! That's who! Believe it! Believe it! YES! Ah . . . yes . . . Ranma would be so happy once she arrived!

Meanwhile, not far from Shampoo but slightly further from Japan than Shampoo since she was positioned closer to the back of the plane, Han Lo-Chun, the annoying, skinny, tea drinking, knife loving, loud mouth, constantly talking, better off dead, llama-girl, disliked by her creator, moronic assassin went over the plans in her head one more time.  
It was brilliant, something she might have come up with before that unfortunate business with the Training Grounds. But it was suicidal, and she was reasonably sure that it would in fact be the last thing she ever did.  
She only hoped they weren't too late, if they were . . . well she and Maro would have an eternity in hell together, she could make him pay for it all then. Over and over, she'd show him why she was the assassin, and he was just the pathetic failure with some fire works.

It was nearly dawn when Ryoga was violently shaken from his already uncomfortable sleep.  
"Why are you hanging upside down?" Nabiki whispered.  
"Don't ask." Ryoga sighed. Of course he was upside down because Happosai had caught him with a rope snare, and Ranma had been too much of a jerk to get him down.  
"You have some strange hobbies, baby." Nabiki said with a frown. Or maybe a smile, it's hard to tell when you're hanging upside down. Ryoga tried to shrug, but he wasn't sure if she recognized it. "What are you doing here?"  
"I came to get you." Nabiki purred.  
"Get me?" Ryoga frowned.  
"We've got some things to talk about." Nabiki said casually, "How do I get you down?" Without waiting for an answer Nabiki pulled on the rope, resulting in Ryoga falling onto his head.  
"Thanks a lot!" Ryoga groaned.  
"All right, stop playing around." Nabiki scoffed, "Let's go!"  
"Go?"  
"Yes. Go." Nabiki spoke slowly, as if she were talking to a very stupid child.  
Ryoga would resent it if he weren't used to it. Actually, come to think of it, he did resent it a little . . . "Go . . . where?"  
"To our room." The young woman shrugged.  
"Our room?" Ryoga raised an eyebrow at her. He calculated briefly in his head, he was pretty sure they'd done it like five times this week alone, where did this woman find the energy?  
"We're just going to talk." Nabiki said, either reading his mind, or lying to lure him into a false sense of security. "I rented us our own room . . . for the weekend so y'know, maybe when we're done talking . . ."  
"How did you get the money for a room of our own?" Ryoga asked.  
"I told you, if I need money I can get it in four minutes, five tops." Nabiki said, then she held up a hand as if to halt protest, "Now, now, I didn't steal it, why would you even think such a thing?"  
"I wasn't, you just said-"  
"No time for idle chit chat, my love. Now let's go, lots to talk about and you've got a busy day ahead of you, oh defender of the Tendo School of Martial Arts."  
"I do?" Ryoga scratched his chin.  
"If daddy didn't perish in a terrible fire consuming said school, yes, I'd imagine you do." Nabiki said casually, betraying only a small amount of concern mixed in with wry humor.  
Ryoga followed her, but first decided to reset the trap to catch Ranma when he woke up.

Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno was still on a steak out mission in front of the hotel Nabiki and Kinnosuke had entered together.  
Surely Nabiki would never do anything unseemly, it was just as Yoshimi had said, she would not act inappropriately.  
But something told Tatewaki that such thinking was, for lack of a better word, moronic.  
Nabiki Tendo was beautiful, and exciting to be around for some reason, but Tatewaki Kuno knew that in simply spending time with him as she did she was acting in an unseemly manner, what was it that might make him different from Kinnosuke?  
Was he expecting loyalty from her? The very idea that Nabiki was even capable of being truly loyal to any person besides herself was somehow hard to believe.  
Still Kuno felt that she should be loyal to him. She was disloyal to her current fiance only because she desired him more, and it had been so for years. Her current engagement was just an unfortunate formality, and it would end as soon as he asked her to end it.  
But marriage . . . to Nabiki Tendo? Of course if he told her to cease her engagement she might expect him to propose to her, and he was not sure that he wanted this. Being with Nabiki was surprisingly enjoyable, but marriage seemed ridiculous, they'd only been dating for . . . good heavens, less than a week!  
Or was he just afraid to ask her? Was he afraid that she would reject him? Though her willingness to go out with him the second time, and her willingness to kiss suggested otherwise, Kuno couldn't help but wonder; what if Yoshimi had been mistaken? What if Nabiki did not care for him at all, but truly did love this other boy, this friend of Ranma's whom Kuno did not know very well?  
The very idea that a woman might use a man for nothing other than physical gratification was laughable to Tatewaki, that Nabiki might have an affair with him, use him to satisfy her primal desires while otherwise remaining true to her current fiancé was such a load of nonsense he almost laughed out loud at the mere thought.  
No, she'd deemed her current lover unworthy, that was obviously the case. If he only told her to leave Hibiki she would do so without question. Surely the only reason she had not done so without his asking was that she was uncertain, it was too soon for her to know yet whether Kuno's affection was genuine, or a ploy.  
And it occurred to him that the answer was a mixture of both.  
But what if she'd deemed Tatewaki unworthy now? She had been with Kinnosuke in that room for a very long time . . .  
What made Kuno different from Nabiki's current fiancé? He could not help wondering. What made him better? He knew there was something . . .  
It seemed reasonable that this young man should be studied. Kuno knew Kinnosuke, he knew that in martial arts Kinnosuke would likely stand no chance against him. Of course neither would Ranma Saotome if only the wind would stop whipping Tatewaki's hair in his eyes, if only those pesky rocks could keep out of his way so he wouldn't slip, if only, if only . . .  
He remained vigilant outside of the hotel until sunrise, refusing to leave until Kinnosuke did.  
When that finally occurred, the other boy seemed groggy, and confused. Kuno waited until he was certain that Nabiki was not with him, then confronted him.  
"Oh no!" Kinnosuke groaned. "Not now, Tate-chan, my head hurts."  
"Where is Nabiki Tendo?" Tatewaki demanded. "What did you two do last night?"  
"I don't know." Kinnosuke grunted.  
"Do not lie to me!" Kuno roared, drawing his sword.  
He was lacking sleep, his temper was short.  
"I cant remember." Kinnosuke said, rubbing a bump on his head. "It must have been incredible though, because I woke up butt naked with this terrible hang over and the phone number of some woman named "Nodoka" taped to my chest."  
"And where is Nabiki Tendo?" Kuno demanded.  
"I don't know. I guess she left early this morning." Kinnosuke said, then chuckled, "I must have been too much for her."  
Kuno frowned. He hadn't seen Nabiki leave . . . perhaps she had left before he'd set up surveillance? If so then she would have hardly had time to betray him . . .  
And of course that made all the sense in the world! Of course she had not given herself to Kinnosuke, she had simply drugged him, or intoxicated him or something.  
Yes! Yes of course! Or perhaps his lack of sleep was affecting his judgment-no! No, Nabiki would never sleep with Kinnosuke, she, like Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl would remain pure and chaste for his benefit.  
And he needed only to ask her, and she'd leave Hibiki. She was his if only he'd reach out and take her, now the only question was 'did he want her'?  
He'd think it over. "Farewell Kinnosuke, enjoy your hang over." Tatewaki said absently, and he left.

Ushio was feeling terribly pleased with himself, so much so that he'd been able to forget the incredible pain in his groin. Which, as any man would know, meant that he was so pleased at that moment, if he died and went to heaven, he'd have been disappointed.  
Boy oh boy, did he have surprises in store for Tendo and his team!  
While technically it was true that more than half of Ushio's team had never taken a lesson from him in their lives, Tendo was also enlisting "students" who likely would not fight with Tendo's style of martial arts.  
If Tendo still had a style, Ushio feared his chief rival was just a blustery individual, full of talk and hot air but little else and almost devoid of skill.  
He was now a little annoyed at Anzu for declaring a five on five tournament, Ushio Koruda had hoped for something a little smaller, perhaps a two on two tournament? This way he wouldn't have to use Anzu and Tomoko, compared to Mousse and Ushio's other ringers those two were jokes!  
Of course he could still replace them!  
Oh the surprises he had in store for Tendo!  
He clapped his hands, "Tomoko!" He cried.  
"Meh"  
"Go now my young apprentice!"  
"We talked about that, old man!" The young woman snapped, looking away from a class she was instructing and nearly getting hit in the face with a bo staff. Ushio felt a little disappointed when she dodged out of the way without even seeing it coming, since he'd been hit by a bo staff just yesterday and he had seen it coming.  
So the girl was better than him, did she have to prove it so effortlessly?  
"About what?" He asked innocently.  
"You callin' me that!" The young woman snapped, annoyance in her brown eyes.  
"Yes . . . I'm sorry . . . my nearly legal drinking age apprentice!"  
"Son of a-" Tomoko got that dangerous look in her eyes.  
"All right, all right, Instructor Ie?" Ushio offered, Tomoko put the Chinese broadsword down and nodded. "Would you be so kind as to go to Tendo Training Hall and deliver our challenge letter?"  
Tomoko frowned. "Challenge letter?" She asked.  
"Of course! We cant fight Tendo if we haven't even set a date!"  
"Really? Because I thought it was pretty clever. Now when they don't show up we just say they chickened out, we win by default, and I keep all my permanent teeth." Ie said, pursing her lips stubbornly.  
"Just go." Ushio sighed.  
"Fine, but you take over teaching my class." Tomoko sneered. Her five students, all armed with staffs sneered at Ushio as well, a couple of them winked, and one of them spat into his palms and rubbed them together, chuckling menacingly.  
"Hmm . . . on second thought, Anzu! You're going to have to deliver the letter of challenge."  
"But daddy!" Anzu whined, "I'm teaching a class too! If I go you have to take over."  
"Oh sure, muffin!" Ushio chuckled until he saw that Anzu was teaching her students to use katanas.  
Anzu noticed the look on his face and said, "They'll be on their best behavior, wont you all?"  
"Oh sure!" One student said, whipping out a stone and sharpening the blade.  
"Something like that . . ." Another said, moving his finger along the blade.  
"We'll be good, we promise!" Another added, as he licked the steel of the weapon, a crazed look in his eyes.  
Ushio looked at the two groups and sighed. "Eh . . . on second thought, I think I will deliver this myself."  
"Good choice old man." Tomoko nodded.  
"Don't get lost daddy!" Anzu nodded too.  
Both young women went back to teaching their classes, Ushio sighed and put his coat on. "Gosh I'm respected." He sighed again.

That morning the mighty warriors of the Tendo clan gathered in the dojo as Master Soun Tendo gave his presentation in front of a large green chalk board. Ranma couldn't help wondering why the dojo was still standing.  
"Didn't ya try to torch this place for the insurance money last night, pop?" Ranma asked.  
"Enough with your fantasies, no one tried to burn anything down last night!" Genma Saotome said, adjusting his glasses.  
"Not so," Dr. Tofu said, "why just last night Betty and I were watching TV when suddenly the news reporter announced that a man and his panda launched an attack on the local library, they set it on fire and unfortunately it burned to the ground."  
"Didn't the firefighters put out the flames?" Ukyo, part of the Tendo team, asked.  
"They were blocked by protesters from the local college." Tofu said simply.  
"You're just kidding, right?" Ukyo demanded.  
"No." Tofu said. "Though once the librarian announced that the new pornographic media section was about to perish the protesters became very repentant, and even helpful, unfortunately by then it was too late to save anything, though a few young men suffered serious burns in an attempt."  
"Yes, well as tragic as that is," Soun announced, "We must-"  
"Who wants punch?" Kasumi announced, handing Dr. Tofu a glass of punch.  
"And who wants cookies?" Akane cried, nobody so much as blinked at her. Akane glared around the room. "Someone's going to eat them. Ranma? Ryoga? Dad?"  
Ryoga seemed not to have even heard Akane, but Ranma waved her away and pinched his nose at the sight of her cookies, his idea of politely saying "maybe later sweet heart"  
"If I eat one, will you let me explain my grand master plan?" Soun asked warily.  
Akane nodded, Soun ate one, then doubled over in pain. 'Better him than me.' Ranma thought.  
"Akane, you're part of this too," Genma said, "Why don't you leave the cookies and punch to Kasumi and just have a seat."  
"Sure." Akane shrugged. She sat down next to Dr. Tofu, making sure everyone knew she was sitting as far away from Ranma as possible by taking exaggerated steps.  
Ranma scoffed. Like he wanted to sit next to her anyway . . . 'cause he really didn't . . . he wouldn't have minded though . . . of course he didn't want her to, but . . . well what was wrong with the space next to him? The girl was just being . . . a girl! And after he'd gone and beat up that pasty jerk to save her hadn't he earned a 'get out of eating Akane's cooking free' card or something?  
Women! Even though Ranma did spend quite a bit of time as one, he still didn't understand them.  
When Akane made the mistake of eating one of her own cookies Ranma felt better.  
They had to wait for Akane to stop hacking and coughing, and for Soun to stop holding his stomach and rolling around in pain before the meeting could continue.  
"Ahem! Here we go. We're going to practice, train and train and then practice some more! You're all going to learn to sleep with your eyes open, you're going to march in your sleep, we're going to keep on going until each one of you is a warrior capable of eliminating entire elements of the Japanese military in my name, we're not going to stop until this grand little island is ours, then we go on to China! I wont let you rest until you've each slain a dragon, you hear me? Oh laugh now, but when those Koruda dragon slayers use their dragon slaying techniques on you you'll be grateful! You'll all be grateful! I'm going to drill you and drill you until you can disassemble a rifle in five seconds while doing push ups, then use the various pieces to build a high speed fighter jet that can-"  
"Dad?" Akane raised her hand.  
"Yes, Akane?" Tendo seemed annoyed at being interrupted.  
"What the heck are you talking about?" Akane asked.  
Tendo tapped his chin for a moment, then sighed. "Never mind what I just said. Just . . . try not to die out there!"  
"This is going to be a breeze." Ranma scoffed. "We'll just have Yoshimi sit in the audience and Ryoga can go berserk on all of 'em for us!"  
"That will be plan A." Soun nodded, he wrote that down on the chalk board.  
Ryoga scowled, "Great! Invite Yoshimi, the person I want to be away from, let's give her an invitation to stand in the crowd and tell everyone how I'm her fiancee, so everyone will know I've stooped to Ranma's level!"  
"My level?" Ranma raised an eyebrow. "What do ya mean 'my level'?"  
"While we're at it, how about if we shove that squirrel in Ranma's pants and see if it gives him super powers?" Ryoga asked. What was his problem? So he didn't like Yoshimi? Big deal, she wasn't so bad. No need to go getting squirrels involved.  
"Excellent!" Soun cried, he wrote that down on the chalk board too, Ranma glared at Ryoga, who just glared right back.  
It was bad enough he'd woken up and gotten himself caught in Happosai's rope snare somehow, he didn't need to contemplate a squirrel being shoved into his pants.  
Still, something seemed to be really bothering Ryoga, he was being twice the jerk he usually was, and only half as talkative.  
This of course implied that he'd worked up the brain power to find more silent ways to be a jerk, it was startling indeed to think Ryoga might be, like the great apes of Antarctica: learning.  
Ryoga noticed Ranma staring at him and scowled, he stood up and said to Soun, "Look, the strategy is simple, you let us do what we do best and we'll win this tournament for you!"  
"Yeah, since we know nothing about our competition it seems like sort of a waste to have a strategy session." Ukyo agreed.  
"No, no, no!" Tendo said, "It is because we know nothing of our enemies that we must train more diligently now than ever before"  
Ryoga scoffed. "Just point me in their direction and make sure they sign a waver."  
"Hate to say it," Ranma said, "But Ryoga's right. Only point him in the wrong direction, so he actually shows up for the fight"  
"Shut up!" Ryoga snapped.  
Ranma scowled at him. Of all the things to be told, being told to 'shut up' really annoyed him for some reason. It was like . . . okay, he would, but because he was through talkin', not because Ryoga had won. Only since he knew Ryoga would think he'd won, he now had to say something slick.  
Who ever thought of putting the words 'shut' and 'up' together should be dragged out back and shot with a forty caliber.  
"Get over it man, you know your sense of direction is as bad as Akane's cooking." This was Ranma's oh so slick remark. He hadn't thought it over too well though.  
"What?" Akane roared.  
"What?" Ryoga agreed. "Ranma, my sense of direction isn't that . . . uh . . ." He saw Akane's evil glare and said, "good"  
"Hmm . . . yeah, you're right. Her cooking is better than your sense of direction. I think that says something, don't you guys?" Ranma sneered and folded his arms.  
"We're all on the same team!" Ukyo snapped as she and Dr. Tofu held Ryoga back. "We've got those anime-convention rejects to take on in their lame little super ranger suits or whatever the heck they wear, so we don't need to kill each other! Now you two get along or I'll rip your heads off!"  
Ryoga scowled. Ranma scowled.  
Ukyo rolled up her sleeve, and both boys shook hands quickly and wiped the scowls off their faces, replaced by smiles. Ryoga's eyes were still scowling though, Ranma felt like his probably were too.  
To anyone else they probably looked like a couple of morons.  
However Ranma really didn't think Ukyo would hit him, she might beat the snot out of Ryoga, but not him. She liked him too much. Still he felt that since the argument had been brought to a close after he'd had the final word over Ryoga, he was the victor.  
The look on Akane's face told him he'd feel differently later, but maybe she'd forget by the time the meeting was over.  
"Ahem," Soun said, "what we need is to train so that no matter who we're up against, we'll be ready. Ryoga . . ." he said, a little cautious which meant what he was going to say next would probably piss the lost boy off, "suppose your opponent is Maro?"  
"Whozzat?" Ryoga raised his eyebrows.  
"Fan-boy." Ranma translated. "I thought we told you his name."  
"Like I'd bother to remember!" Ryoga cried.  
"Well, what if he were your opponent?" Ukyo asked.  
"He's nothing!" Ryoga sighed. "Suppose he is my opponent, so what?"  
"So wont'cha get yer butt kicked at the word 'go'?" Ranma sneered, Ryoga spun around.  
"I'm no weakling!" Ryoga roared, "If I ever, ever meet with Masasho or whatever again I will annihilate him, you hear me"  
"Yeah . . . what about the illusions that you so totally fell for?" Ranma laughed.  
Ryoga suddenly seemed somewhat deflated, he just scoffed. "Let him just try it again!"  
"What about me?" Akane demanded, "I fell for those illusions too!"  
Ranma frowned. He hadn't forgotten about that . . . it just hadn't been on his mind . . . yeah, that sounded good. "Look, forget about the illusions, okay?" Ranma said.  
"Exactly, they're nothing to be concerned about." Ryoga agreed.  
"It isn't the first time we've been up against someone who's main offensive was illusion, okay? And odds are Maro has nothing to do with this," Ranma continued, "and even if he did, I'd still put my yen on Akane or Ryoga." He said, trying to soothe things over. The look on Ryoga's face told him that while the comment was accepted things were not exactly peachy. Akane's expression told him that she was not flattered and peaches had nothing to do with anything.  
Soun nodded. "It's not just Maro's illusions. You have to be ready for anything. Suppose it rains"  
"If we're careless enough to get wet, we deserve to lose!" Ranma said. Then he got splashed.  
"Sorry, I couldn't resist." Kasumi giggled. "Does this mean I win?"  
"I dunno, did you bring me some punch?" Ranko demanded.  
"Yes." Kasumi said, offering himer hera glass.  
"Then I'll let this go." Ranko nodded forgivingly.  
Just then the door to the dojo came crashing down and there stood . . . some weird guy who sort of looked like Soun with shorter hair and no mustache, though he did have a goatee.  
Nodoka, Ranma's mom, was hanging onto to stranger, and moaning.  
"My door!" Soun wept.  
"Does this woman belong to any of you?" The man sounded annoyed.  
"That's my wife." Genma sighed.  
"Please relieve me of her." The man nodded to Genma, who came over and pried his wife off of him.  
"But the goatee makes him look like such a stud!" Nodoka moaned.  
"Yes, yes, I know. Ahem!" The man said, "I am Ushio Koruda, head of the Koruda School of Combat! And I am here to challenge your puny, pathetic Tendo Training Hall to a battle that will end all battles! A grand tournament, five of your best, five of our best, an elimination style tournament to decide who is the greater school!"  
"Koruda! My sworn enemy! I will-hey we already got this challenge . . ." Soun scowled.  
"Yes, but I'm making it official! So here is your letter of challenge and your invitations, a detailed map leading you to our dojo where the tournament shall commence this evening! Also your pre-paid parking tickets, complementary air freshener and bumper sticker!"  
"Yes, yes, excel-eh? This evening?" Soun demanded.  
"Is there an echo in here?" Ushio demanded right back. "Yes, this evening! Be prepared Tendo, for I have at my disposal fighters of undeniable prowess! Each a hyena: king of the rain forest!"  
"Don't you mean a lion: king of the Savannah?" Dr. Tofu asked.  
"No, I meant what I said!" Ushio cried. "Now I leave you!" He ran over to the window and threw himself out of it.  
Except that the glass was quite strong, so he actually just slammed into it then slid to the floor. He then got up, rubbed his head, opened the window, and leapt out. He ran off laughing sinisterly.  
Tendo sighed, and looked at the invite. "All right then, I want all of you to be prepared for the tournament tonight! Be ready to fight gloriously for our school!"  
"This isn't really 'our' school," Ukyo pointed out, "It's yours and Akane's, the rest of us aren't your students"  
"Well then be ready to fight for my school!" Soun clarified. "I am paying you after all!"  
"No you're not." Ukyo said.  
Soun looked a little surprised. "I'm not? Oh . . . oh that's right, I spent the money I was going to spend paying you all to buy gasoline and cigarettes. Well, act as if I'm paying you!"  
Dr. Tofu was the only one who didn't seem to be annoyed by this. But then for him the pay off was being given a new chainsaw, which he'd already gotten.  
"Hey, we'll take 'em all out in the first rounds baby, then we can see which one of us is the best." Ranma said.  
Ryoga grinned, "And if we just happened to destroy their dojo in the process?"  
"Not our fault, they're the ones hosting this thing after all, gotta deal with the consequences." Ukyo laughed sinisterly.  
"My sentiments exactly!" Soun laughed. "Now, everyone prepare, and be ready to meet here at . . . Five o'clock this evening! Now go and practice your moves on a cliff facing a raging surf!"  
"No more movies for you, dad." Akane sighed.

The crate was dropped off in front of the public baths, as had been instructed.  
Han Lo-Chun had no intention of being delivered to Cologne, and pity the old woman if she interfered with Han's plans.  
Well . . . maybe Han would be utterly foiled if the elder amazon so much as raised a pinkie to interfere . . . but still the pity should remain, anyone that old and short and ugly deserved the greatest pity . . . and a paper bag with a little face drawn on it or something.  
She had to get out of this crate before all the thinking caused her nose to bleed again! Oh my Gosh! Llamas have such big noses!  
The crate was opened and the llama girl bolted for the hot water, when she emerged from the men's side of the public baths-as if llamas paid attention to who was in the line they were trampling!-she immediately retrieved her cloths and equipment from the crate, which had been left behind by the delivery truck, which had gone on to deliver Shampoo.  
If she wanted to go see the elder, more power to her.  
The redressed and rearmed not to mention really annoying assassin surveyed the city that had been her second home for the past few weeks.  
Gosh she'd miss it. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the animals that harassed her, the birds that threatened her with their bowel movement bombs, the cars that honked at her whenever she tried to dash across the road, the people who made rude gestures with their hands, making her feel as if she were stuck in the United States. How she'd miss it all.  
Wait . . . no she wouldn't. Man was this a place she was glad to be leaving behind forever!  
But now, first thing first, figure out who was still alive, who wasn't and if her arch foe Maro was involved.  
No . . . no the first thing to do was locate a Burger Thing, she was hungry.  
No, no! The first thing was more important than the second thing! But darn it what was the first thing? She'd gone and confused herself!  
'Better just go to the Tendo house.' Han decided. 'Maybe they'll still be alive, and whether they are or they aren't they must have something to eat.'

Anzu Koruda nudged Tomoko as her father's new 'students' arrived at the dojo.  
One guy wore oversized robes and a dorky pair of glasses, had long hair and despite it all was somehow absolutely mouth watering.  
The next one looked like some miniature old doll, she was preparing tea for some reason. Even though Anzu knew that looks weren't everything-why else would her mother have married her father?-this lady really didn't look like a martial artist. She was just some old . . . kneeling . . . thing.  
The third "ringer" as her father called them, was a large bald man with several tattoos and piercings. He looked like he'd escaped from a mental institution, and Anzu told herself he probably had. When they'd first been introduced he'd asked Anzu and Tomoko if either of them had a name starting with the letter A, and had decided to call herself Uzna, which in retrospect had sounded sort of stupid.  
Tomoko snorted-very unladylike-and rolled her eyes. "I'd pity those Tendo creeps, but I'm finally gettin' paid so whatever lunatic stunts your dad wants to pull are fine with me. Plus if he ever stops payin' me again, I can threaten t'sue him for endangering my life 'n this crazy tourney of his."  
"That's a very mercenary attitude. Don't you have any pride in your school? Any . . . what's it called?"  
"Loyalty?" Tomoko offered.  
"Yeah that. Don't you have any loyalty?" Anzu asked.  
"It's a pay check, nothing more." The older girl shrugged. "Some times I think you big time martial arts families take this whole biz too seriously."  
Anzu felt greatly offended, she made a face at Tomoko and shook her head. "For your information, my family does not take this all too seriously, it's just . . . well everyone needs hobbies right? I mean . . . I mean . . . I don't have a problem!" Anzu screamed desperately.  
"Hello everyone!" Anzu's father cried. "Now that you're here you can all see if your new uniforms fit!" He snapped his fingers and the lights went out, then five spot lights shone down upon five mannequins wearing five Super Ranger type costumes, each red and black with a different sort of weapon in hand. Unlike the suits Ushio had shoved his team in before, these ones lacked helmets, and while that might improve visibility Anzu sort of felt like it might also increase the fatality rate among her team once this tournament got under way.  
Despite that concern, she couldn't help but notice that the female uniforms seemed to rather enlarge the breasts. Whichever one was hers, she couldn't help but think she was a little undersized for it in that department.  
Who were these made for? The other fighters could almost hide inside those breasts! Was there an air pump nearby? She'd heard of shoulder pads but . . . this was the sort of thing girls in American junior high schools did to attract boys in college, or their father's best friends.  
"Well maybe you ain't got a problem." Tomoko said. "But he's got several."  
Anzu buried her face in her hands, not sure she should even pretend to disagree with Tomoko on that little fact-er opinion.  
"I was not aware that we would be wearing costumes." The kid with glasses said. "I have no time for Halloween tricks and treats!"  
"These power suits will offer you protection from enemy blows, and each one has been modified to suit your fighting style needs." Anzu's dad said. She let out a soft moan of protest. This was so not her life.

Nabiki lay back and enjoyed the newest hole in the wall and the excellent tanning rays it let in.  
It was like being at the beach, only there wasn't really any water. But on the up side she had a refrigerator nearby and the only loud annoying kids were Ranma, Akane and Ryoga and all three of them were busy 'training' in the dojo.  
'Training' meaning that Akane and Ryoga had teamed up to punish Ranma for something he'd said earlier because he was a jerk.  
Nabiki sipped some punch that no one wanted and threw one of Akane's cookies-they made great frisbees-to Mercedes who'd shown up for no reason whatsoever.  
Amazingly the dog was able to stand having the cookie in its mouth, but even he knew better than to eat it, he just ran off to bury it in the yard.  
Of course dad would be furious when he saw all the holes the giant dog was digging in his back yard, but Nabiki figured whatever kept the beast from humping her leg was worth any amount of her father's tears.  
"Cry me a river, daddy!" She shouted to the old man who probably couldn't hear her anyway, as she threw another cookie.  
This one the dog caught easily, and then ran off to bury it, then he'd come back for another, and mindlessly bury it as well.  
Nabiki recalled the conversation she'd had with Ryoga this morning, it had not gone at all the way she had hoped it would. It was sometimes hard to tell what Ryoga understood and what he didn't since he had a tendency to jump to conclusions.  
Nabiki wondered if she should talk to him . . . but the sun was so lovely and distracting . . . her tan was after all very important, properly done it could benefit him just as much as it could benefit her, as he'd be seen in the presence of a now tanned goddess which would make mortal people wish upon stars that they could be him.  
Nabiki wondered briefly if maybe she was a little conceited, but she told herself that anyone so beautiful deserved to be.  
And threw Mercedes another cookie.

Han Lo-Chun was sitting peacefully in a tree in the back yard of the Tendo home trying to figure out if anyone was alive in there.  
There were holes in the walls, which was not unusual, there were shouts coming from the dojo, which also was not unusual, but the yard was filled with craters, and what looked like a dozen shallow graves.  
Gods she was hungry, so hungry . . . and then suddenly a cookie fell into her lap from out of the sky.  
So there really was a god!  
She tasted it, and wanted to die.  
So there really was a devil!  
Hacking and coughing she fell out of the tree, but luckily she landed on her head which resulted in no serious damage.  
Had this strange ringing in her ears . . . and everything seemed a little blurry. None the less she was fine. Except for the pain in her stomach and the burning sensation on her tongue.  
Then that blasted dog charged her and stole the cookie, which Lotion decided the beast was more than welcome to.  
If she needed any more proof that at least some of the Tendo family was still living she had it, for no one in the universe could bake like Akane.  
Thankfully.  
Just then she heard a familiar voice, "How'd it go?"  
She looked around, was someone talking to her?  
A young woman said something indistinct, Lotion didn't recognize her voice.  
She did know the first voice, and she had a terrible feeling in her stomach as she recognized who it belonged to. She leapt onto the roof of the house to get a better look.  
She moved carefully, and looked down at the dojo.  
What she saw forced a gasp out of her thin lips.  
"I knew it!" The familiar man seemed pleased. "I will have Ranma Saotome at this tournament, dead or alive." It seemed the situation was far worse than she'd realized. She had to warn them, this was serious!  
It grew even more serious when she realized she was slipping off of the roof.

"Yes, it's most tragic . . ." Kasumi whispered.  
"I imagine so." Dr. Tofu said. He was facing the wall and wearing a blindfold for some reason, Kasumi didn't understand, but if thinking he could sense her spiritual power and therefore see her while blindfolded even though he obviously had mistaken her for a wall, made the good doctor happy she was just as happy to tolerate it.  
Or something like that.  
"So do you suppose you could . . ." Kasumi trailed off.  
"I am a chiropractor, not an architect, but I do know quite a few, all clients of course. I'd be happy to tell them about your situation, but really Akane, why would I dislocate their backs until they agree to do it for free? I take excellent care of my patients, I never injure them."  
"I never said you should dislocate anything, I only asked you to recommend one that worked for . . . uh . . . not a lot of money." Kasumi said. She did not want to offend the good doctor, after all he was such a charming fellow . . . but in all honesty she had never seen him treat a patient he hadn't left seriously injured.  
Nabiki said it was just him trying to impress her, but that was silly, why should a man like Dr. Tofu want to impress a girl like Kasumi? Her sister was insane.  
Insane and perverted, maybe there was something really wrong with her family . . .  
No time to think about that right now she had to . . . eh?  
"Nihau!" Shampoo screamed, and down came the wall.  
"Oh my! Akane!" Dr. Tofu cried, throwing himself onto the rubble and trying to pull it together, "Speak to me!"  
"Hello Shampoo . . ." Kasumi said as Shampoo strolled in, stomping all over Tofu.  
"Shampoo back from trip to China, great grand mother not very happy to see Shampoo come back with stuffed llama instead of real Lotion, she tell Shampoo go out and find skinny girl or no supper! But Shampoo no care, Shampoo come see Ranma"  
Kasumi smiled, even though listening to Shampoo just now made her brain feel funny. As if some hand inside her skull was gently squeezing it, then letting go. Squeezing, letting go. She wanted to know more about Lotion. Still it would be rude to detain Shampoo when she really, really wanted to see Ranma, so Kasumi pointed her in the right direction and Shampoo stomped off happily.  
"Are you quite all right, doctor?" Kasumi asked.  
Tofu stood up, and slammed his fist into his palm, "I'm fine, Ukyo, Akane may require medical attention though. Incidentally, I've just thought of a new, devastating technique! I will call it the Tofu Strike! Please ask Kasumi to watch for it during the tournament, it will be amazing! I must go now!" He ran out of the hole in the wall and headed for home before Kasumi could even say "goodbye, I hope your new Tofu Strike works out for you".

Ranma had just finished defeating Ryoga and Akane. To defeat Ryoga, he simply beat the snot out of him, of course there was nothing simple about it, but there's no reason to go into details.  
It had involved a squirrel, and a bag of nuts though, Ranma might have to tell Ukyo all about it later.  
Beating Akane had been trickier since Ranma hadn't wanted to break any of her bones-it wasn't that he wanted to break Ryoga's, he just didn't really care-so he had to just hop around and dodge her attacks until she wore herself down and started to curse.  
Now the three of them were taking a break, sitting around what was left of Ranma's bag of nuts-oh grow up!-and talking about combat strategy for the tournament.  
"Remember what I said Ryoga, run away from your opponent, that way you'll actually run towards them!" Ranma encouraged his friend.  
Ryoga made a rather rude hand gesture, and then threw a nut at Ranma.  
"Pst! Hey!" A voice whispered, Ranma turned around to see a slightly familiar young woman, wearing a red dress and matching boots that went up to her knees. They might have gone even higher, but he couldn't tell because the rest of her legs were covered by the dress.  
Shame, she looked like she had nice legs.  
She wore blue nail polish and lipstick, it seemed strange to Ranma, who'd have gone with a blue dress and red lipstick, but then so did this young woman's ability to sneak up on the trio of martial artists.  
"Can I help you?" Akane asked.  
"I came to help you!" The girl said, "It's me, Anzu, remember? You beat me and my friends up, then tied me to a chair."  
"Oh yeah!34-26-36!" Ranma cried. Akane slapped him in the back of the head. "Ow! What brings you here?"  
"I . . . I know we have our differences-"  
"Yeah, when I'm a girl I'm better built. But you're nice too." Ranma said, Akane whacked him again, Anzu whacked him too.  
"I have come to warn you," Anzu said, "not to fight in the tournament, it will mean your doom!"  
"Ours? Don't you mean yours?" Ryoga scoffed.  
Anzu blushed, "Well I admit I wouldn't mind not having to fight you guys again . . . or having to wear the Super Stupid Ranger suit, but that's not what I meant. I mean it'd be a bonus, sure, but I'm not that-look I don't have much time, I need to warn you guys, my dad has hired mercenaries to take you on, some freaky old tea hag who never seems to stop kneeling"  
"She's yours Akane!" Ranma cried, knowing Anzu could only mean Sentaro's grandmother.  
"What?" Akane demanded. "I don't need your charity!" It seemed she didn't realize who the freaky old tea hag was. "He's got some freaky giant with tattoos and body piercings, and a wristband that says 'Property of Overpriced Mental Institution' who keeps asking me if my name starts with the letter 'A' and wants to know if I've ever tried to fit myself into a pot!"  
"Seems familiar, but I cant quite place the pot reference . . ." Akane said.  
"Ukyo might know." Ranma said.  
"Then there's this freakishly cute guy with this gorgeous long raven hair, these beautiful eyes-even when he's wearing his glasses-and this powerful, manly air about him, as if you know he's the sort of person who would never change into a duck"  
"Well that cancels out who I thought it was." Ryoga sighed.  
"Why do you describe all of your father's hired fighters with the word 'freak'?" Ranma asked.  
"Just because!" Anzu cried. "But anyway the most serious, important threat of all is his frea-er I mean his friend. This friend of my dad's is so powerful it makes me really glad I'm not on your team! But unlike that mercenary best friend of mine I do care about what happens to other people, namely you people, and even though I don't really know or like you guys very much, and even though your master tied me up and made me tell him my measurements and whether or not I was ovulating, and even though I would love the opportunity to burn this dojo to the ground, I would hate to see you broken, defeated and humiliated or even worse!"  
"Hah!" Ranma cried. "There's nothing worse than defeat, so I know you're lying!"  
"Well being dead is pretty bad too." Anzu said. "I have to go, but please don't fight at the tournament! That fourth guy . . . he'll turn you into a fine paste and feed you to the people in the old folk's home!"  
"Yeah right." Ranma laughed. "Now I've gotta go, just to see what's so great about this guy!"  
"Please, don't be so reckless!" Anzu pleaded.  
"Enough with your complaints!" Ranma said, "Allow me to put yer mind at ease, I'm Ranma Saotome, heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, I'm unbeatable, and I'm going to win this tournament. Your concern is touching, but I've already got three fiancees, there just ain't enough of the cuteness to go around."  
Anzu scoffed. "Whatever, I tried." She turned to leave, then looked back and added, "By the way, your friend with the bandanna is cuter than you."  
"Well there you go," Ranma decided, "with that she proves she'll lie about anything, we cant trust a word she's said!"  
"Hey!" Ryoga protested, Ranma waved him silent.  
"Oh Ranma . . ." Akane shook her head, pityingly.

"How'd it go?" Jun asked, leaning against the door to the dojo as Ushio's daughter emerged.  
"How did what go?" Anzu shrugged.  
"You went in there to warn Saotome about me, didn't you?" Jun chuckled. "You heard me talking to your father, you know I'm after him, and you're trying to keep him from showing up."  
"Let's assume what you say is true," Anzu said, "If it is, and you knew, why'd you let me tell him"  
"Because I knew that you telling him not to come would make him all the more determined to come. A volcano can now erupt right under him and he'll still drag his carcass to the tournament.  
Anzu shook her head in defeat. "Yeah, that's pretty much the feeling I got from talking to him." She admitted.  
"I knew it." Jun grinned. His Super Assassin senses started to tingle for a moment, he felt as if someone were watching him. "I will have Ranma Saotome at this tournament, dead or alive!"  
He heard a sound from far off, like someone falling off of a roof because they're an idiot.  
He shook his head, this town was just full of strange people.  
"Sir, could I ask you a question?" Anzu asked.  
"You just did. But I'll let you ask another, since your father and I are such good friends." Jun said.  
Anzu frowned and was silent for a moment. Then she said, "Does my dad know you're going to be fighting at this tournament"  
Jun smiled, and said nothing. He simply walked away and headed for the Koruda school.  
There was a lot to do before the tournament started. Anzu might think that her warning Ranma and his friends about her father's ringers was a waste of time, but she was dead wrong.  
Now that Saotome and his friends knew they'd be up against real fighters, maybe they'd be on a higher guard. Saotome himself would be even more excited at the prospect of a more powerful foe, according to Ushio's dossiers the boy enjoyed a challenge, same as Jun.  
Unfortunately for him, this challenge would be more than he could handle.

Many more things would happen that day before the tournament, unfortunately Ranma didn't notice any of it, not even when there was a terrible fire and his father rolled around on the floor in front of him, screaming in hideous, fiery pain.  
All he could do was wonder. Who was this super tough fighter? Would he really be a challenge? How would Ranma beat him?  
Would he even get a chance to face him? What if the mystery fighter went up against Ryoga, or Ukyo? What if they beat him? That would mean that even though he wasn't really all that and a bag of chips, Ryoga or Ukyo might still get to fight the tournament's best fighter and he'd be left with some loser, like . . . what was her name again?  
What if his opponent wasn't the guy he was supposed to be worried about, but was someone tough all the same? A guy/girl could only hope!  
Or, what if Ryoga, Ukyo, Tofu and Akane all got wiped out in their first rounds? Then that meant that Ranma would face off against the best the Koruda school had to offer . . . by himself!  
It would be too awesome! The idea was practically orgasmic-whoa, where did that word come from? Well he wouldn't let it bother him-but the wait was excruciating.  
Twice Nabiki asked him why he was doing the 'pee-pee dance' when the back yard tree was as inviting as ever, but he just ignored her.  
He was tapping his feet like a drug addict in need of a fix, and bouncing up and down anxiously, he was not doing a 'pee-pee dance'.  
And he didn't have a problem! Don't judge him until you have tried his way of life and found it to be . . . well anyway suffice it to say that Ranma was very excited.  
Shampoo was very excited too because Ranma had been so happy to see her that he'd danced around for joy. However amusing it was at first became boring and slightly frightening in time, so she left to find Lotion, as her great grandmother had instructed.  
Nabiki was not excited in the least, Ryoga had failed to speak to her and she therefore decided that she would not speak to him either. That he had been transformed into P-Chan when she wanted to talk to him was, in her mind, nothing more than a clever escape from a much needed conversation.  
Akane was not as excited as she was nervous. Ranma had been dancing and squealing anxiously for a while now, everyone was getting ready to leave for the tournament, but Akane thought maybe Ranma should leave for the hospital.  
Ryoga was nervous. He'd spent most of the rest of the day as P-chan, and had a great deal of time to think. Doubts and worries kept surfacing in his mind. What if he wasn't strong enough? What if he wasn't fast enough? What if he wasn't smart enough? He kept telling himself he wasn't weak, but at the same time another part of him kept insisting that he was, kept replaying the past few battles for him, with added and extended scenes mostly involving his weakness. Then there was his conversation with Nabiki that morning, he didn't even know how to handle that, he really needed some helpful advice.  
Ukyo was bored silly, she'd briefly considered flirting with Ranma, but figured she'd have no luck getting through his mental barrier of weirdness. Was this really the man she wanted to marry? Ryoga looked like he needed to talk to someone, but she decided that whatever his problem was, he could deal with it on his own since she hadn't seen him dump Nabiki and help her with her scheme yet.  
Tofu didn't have a care in the world, he had his chainsaw and was ready to rumble.  
Maro was growing quite nervous because people kept asking him about his head. What was wrong with his head?  
Mercedes was pleased however, he'd buried a thirteen cookies, a baker's dozen, and that assassin after she fell off from the roof. Nobody was praising him, which was annoying. Humans, you just couldn't reason with them! Once he found out how to become human he'd make them praise him!  
And surprisingly Lotion, who had fallen out of a tree and then landed on her head, then fallen off a roof that she somehow managed to jump onto, and again landed on her head, was feeling absolutely nothing.  
However regardless of what our heroes, villains and inbetweeners were feeling the time had at last come to fight for the honor of their schools, or watch their friends and family fight for the honor of their schools while they say back and cheered or-at least in Nabiki's case-wished they were somewhere else.  
Or at least that was what they expected, what Ranma expected, but soon they'd see that the madness of Ushio Koruda would doom the fighters to a torment comparable to death, or having to listen to children's radio.  
But they were expecting nothing more than simple competition when they arrived, they had no idea what the reality of the situation was.  
He laid eyes on his opponents, there was . . . what was her name? 34-26-36 or something.  
Then her friend who looked sort of like a 34-22-34, Sentaro's crazy grandmother, Mousse of all people and the huge crazy guy from the mental institute whom Konatsu and Ukyo had briefly taken on as a pet.  
"It's good t'see ya here, Mousse." Ranma grinned challengingly, "Gives me someone interesting to beat on!"  
"Martial Arts is about self defense, not beating down on people." 34-22-34 said. "Remember, we're not out to break any jaws here, okay?"  
"Quiet, you're embarrassing us!" 34-26-36 snapped.  
"Brave warriors of the Tendo clan," Ushio greeted, "and though you are my opponents today, I can indeed call you brave, for to come here to my arena and face my fine students requires nerves of an ox and the strength of steel!"  
"We've come!" Soun shouted, "And we will destroy you! My students will make your students look like utter fools! Incidentally, you made mention of a giant check . . ." Soun said.  
"There's no giant check." Ushio said.  
"A small one then." Soun shrugged.  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Ushio insisted.  
"So you're trying to tell me, in front of all these people that you're going back on the check?" Nabiki spoke up. "I see you don't really believe in your student's ability to win"  
"Hah! Of course I think my students will win!" Ushio cried.  
"Then the check . . ." Nabiki trailed off.  
"Uh . . . the check . . . will fifty thousand yen be enough?"  
"Men must ask you that a lot, huh?" Ranma sneered, Nabiki ignored him.  
"Try five hundred thousand." Nabiki said. "Unless of course you think your students will flop."  
"Hah! As I've already told your honorable father, each of my students is a veritable hyena!  
"Well bring on the laughing hunchbacks," Soun cried, "for each one of my students has the strength of a panda, and is just as ferocious!"  
"Pandas aren't ferocious!" Ushio cried.  
"Try sleeping with one's wife, and you'll see how ferocious they can get!" Soun cried.  
"It's true." Genma nodded.  
Ushio gave them a weird look. "I don't think I would ever sleep with a panda, regardless of her marital status"  
Ranma felt a little deflated by the stupidity of the three men, it was as if just listening to their conversation was lowering his intelligence.  
He didn't say this out loud because it would have been rude, and Nabiki was still in ear shot so she could be expected to make a comment about his intelligence already being very low.  
He didn't need that, not in front of these crowds.  
Wait . . . what crowds?  
"Where are all the spectators?" Ranma asked.  
"We don't need spectators, we've got a cooler full of beer!" Ushio said, "Root beer for the underage"  
"What does beer have to do with spectators?" Kasumi asked.  
"Well if there were spectators we'd have to share the beer!. Nobody shows up for B.Y.O.B. tournaments!" Ushio shrugged.  
"I've come!" Yoshimi cried as she burst through the doors.  
"I stand corrected." Ushio admitted. "But you look underage miss."  
"Oh I'm not too late am I Bubblegum? You haven't won yet have you?" Yoshimi of course.  
"Uh . . . yeah, you're late. Go home." Ryoga said. He glared at Ranma, but Ranma just shrugged.  
"I didn't invite her!" He said.  
"Oh silly! Nobody invited me! But I did invite the entire city!" Yoshimi cried, and in after her swarmed the citizens of Nerima, and they had indeed brought their own beer.  
"Ryoga . . . your new fiancee scares me." Ranma whispered. Ryoga nodded.  
"Uh . . . now we haven't got enough seats." Ushio said.  
"Very well!" Yoshimi said, "This tournament is now sponsored by the Harume clan, my ninja slaves-er servants will prepare everything!"  
"Uh . . . okay . . ." Soun frowned.  
"Well . . . I guess, while you're all doing that, our fighters will change into their uniforms!" Ushio cried.  
"Yea-wha?" Soun began with a cheer, but ended in a question.  
"You know, your school uniforms? You're not just going to wear those . . . regular cloths, are you?" Ushio raised his eyebrows.  
"Erm . . . no." Soun licked his lips. He walked over to Ryoga and tore his bandanna off.  
"Hey!" Ryoga cried.  
Soun tore off another, and another, and another. "All right, tie these around your heads!" He instructed Ukyo, Akane, Ranma and Tofu. He then looked back at Ushio and smirked, "Hah! Uniforms"  
"You could have asked." Ryoga grumbled.  
The Koruda students marched off to their individual dressing rooms, and Ranma surveyed the crowd.  
He could see his friends from school, even Akane's friends-one of them had gotten pregnant-he could see some of the black ninjas that used to work for Azusa now sitting amongst the crowd holding up "Go Koruda" signs, or conversing with the pink ninjas.  
She really had invited the whole city! Why, there was Kuno trying to politely shove his way through the crowd to Ranma!  
And as Ranma tried to avert his gaze from Kuno, for the briefest of moments he thought he saw someone else he knew and would rather not, but it was only a flash, a glimpse.  
Regardless, for an instant he could have sworn he'd seen that fan toting psychopath.

Shampoo had spent the better part of the afternoon following a trail of people who'd mostly said, "Llama/skinny girl went that way" and it had led her right back to the Tendo house.  
She had not expected to find anything here, but she was surprised to see that Ranma had left for the tournament Kasumi had mentioned earlier. Shampoo decided to do a quick search of the premises then invite herself to the tournament where she'd probably set up some trip wires to foil Ranma's competition.  
When she walked out into the Tendo family's back yard she saw the patches of torn up ground where Mercedes had buried Akane's cookies, but she looked around and saw nothing else.  
And then a hand popped up from under the ground and grabbed her ankle. If such a thing happened to you or me we might scream, leapt ten feet into the air, and cry for help. However Shampoo was different.  
She was slightly insane, so instead she yanked her leg free, then stomped on the undead hand. Another one emerged now and grabbed Shampoo's other leg, the one she'd stomped on grabbed the leg she was using for her attack, and both hands pulled her down towards that unholy fiery inferno of a kingdom she'd heard described in ancient texts!  
The village of the mole people.  
Now she started to scream, until Lotion pulled herself out of the ground. Then it was a good thing that Shampoo's legs were both being held firmly, or she'd have started kicking the assassin in the head.  
"Thank you, I was underground for a few hours." Lotion sighed.  
"You should have suffocated!" Shampoo cried.  
"Yes, probably." Lotion nodded, then her mood changed quite suddenly, "Ryoga! Ranma!" She almost screamed! "Where are they?"  
"What you want with Ranma?" Shampoo scoffed.  
"Take me to Ranma quickly," Lotion explained, "or he's a dead man!"

Ryoga felt a bit nervous, there were so many people. And the Koruda had set up five large screens in a pentagon in the center of the dojo, which meant every time he got hit or failed to hit someone else it would show on those screens and everyone would know he'd failed.  
'Well this is a fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Hibiki.' Ryoga said to himself. 'Ready to humiliate yourself? Ready to lose?' "I wont lose." He told himself.  
"That's right." Nabiki said, putting her hands on his shoulders, "I have complete faith in you, my love!"  
"Right . . ." Ryoga licked his lips nervously. She'd been ignoring him until now . . . why was she-  
"Remember to duck, dodge, lunge, and whatever the heck it is that you do. Just try to make it to the finals." Nabiki said, massaging his shoulders.  
Well that explained it. "You made a bet, didn't you?" Ryoga sighed.  
"Cant blame a girl for trying to make a little cash." Nabiki said innocently.  
"Why not bet on Ranma?" Ryoga scoffed.  
"Yeah, why not bet on the bread winner?" Ranma asked.  
"Beat it!" Ryoga commanded, shoving Ranma away.  
"I bet on you out of love and caring . . . and they're offering ten to one odds you don't make it to the semi finals"  
'Ten to one? Maybe I am weak!' Ryoga thought bitterly to himself. "I want fifty percent." He said.  
"Ten and be grateful." Nabiki scoffed.  
"Sixty, or I throw it right before the finals."  
"I know you better than that." Nabiki scoffed again. But after a pause she said, "Twenty percent because I like you. But don't ask for any more or I'll spend your whole cut on gifts from you to me anyway."  
"All right, deal." Ryoga nodded, Nabiki kissed him on the cheek and disappeared. He sort of hoped he could make it to the finals, be champion even not just so she could win her bet, but so she could be proud of him, and so he could prove to himself that he was not becoming weak.  
Ukyo interrupted his thoughts when she punched him in the shoulder. Hard.  
"What was that for?" Ryoga demanded. It hadn't hurt, not really, but still he could tell it'd been meant to.  
"Sorry, just thought all that mushy stuff might soften you up! You've got to snap out of it and focus!" Ukyo gave him a friendlier punch in the shoulder. She was quiet for a moment, then added, "I mean she'll be mad at you when I beat you down in the semi-finals anyway, so don't go getting your hopes up."  
"She's already mad at me." Ryoga grumbled, Ukyo looked at him like she was about to ask why when suddenly a loud voice boomed through the arena!  
"Prepare for the ultimate fight! Koruda, Tendo, here and now to decide the more powerful school!" Ushio Koruda's voice boomed through the place. He paused, then added, "Sponsored by Happy Harume Industries!"  
The crowd cheered, Ryoga wondered if they had been paid to do so.  
"Now, all fighters please approach their squares.  
The Koruda fighters all stepped onto one of five red squares painted on the dojo floor.  
Ryoga noticed that there was a blue square in front of him, so he headed for it.  
He was going in the right direction, but Ranma and Ukyo shoved him onto it anyway.  
"Now, if any of you have kidney problems, any heart condition, or are pregnant, please step out of the squares now!"  
Nobody moved, though Ranma suspected Sentaro's grandmother should have had a heart condition or something at her age.  
"Very good. Now begins the ultimate battle!" Ushio Koruda cried, and suddenly the square Ryoga was standing on fell away from beneath him and he was falling!

Nabiki was surprised to see Ryoga and the others just disappear, apparently Yoshimi was too.  
"What is this? Where did they go?" She demanded.  
The five big screens came to life and showed a picture of the dojo that looked like it had been drawn on computer by a two year old.  
"Now our fighters are enjoying a ride through our complex series of underground tunnels into the labyrinth beneath the school!" Ushio's disembodied voice explained as the picture illustrated ten happy stick figures sliding down twisty curvy tunnels into a little box that said "maze" on it.  
"Of all things, it had to be a maze!" Nabiki moaned.

Jun stood patiently near the exit of the chute that his accomplice had come out of, inspecting one of his guns and making sure it would fire properly, that it had enough ammunition, that sort of thing.  
"You know . . ." Anzu said nervously, "I don't fell too good about this. This is definitely wrong."  
"Then it's a good thing your opinion doesn't matter in this situation." Jun said, placing the gun in it's holster at his chest. "All you do is bring me Saotome."  
"No." She said simply. "He never did anything to me . . . well . . . not anything worth killing him over."  
"He's not your friend, not family, you barely know him. He's nobody, and if he dies it wont affect your day to day life. Most importantly if you say 'no' to me one more time I'll kill you too, then hunt him down anyway." Jun said.  
He didn't like having to threaten Ushio's daughter, though of course he'd kill her without batting an eyelash. Still that didn't necessarily mean that he liked doing it, he hoped Anzu wouldn't resist any further, because if she did . . .  
She looked at the ground, as if she would in fact go along with the scheme, but Jun noticed she was tensing her right hand for an attack.  
The movement was incredibly slight, a normal person might never have noticed it until it was too late.  
Jun was no normal person, he was a master assassin of the Nekekami guild of Japan.  
He drew a gun and pressed it against Anzu's forehead. "I suggest you get going. Or you and Saotome wont be the only people they bury, every other unfortunate soul in this maze will join you. Do you really want to be responsible for that"  
Anzu glared at him and stepped backwards towards the tunnel that would lead her into the labyrinth.  
She'd be mad for a while, he'd make it up to her later. After all, Jun thought, if he was right about Ranma Saotome he would be able to be quite generous towards his friends and family.  
If he was right about Ranma Saotome, Jun would be the wealthy new head of the Nekekami guild . . .

Ranma landed flat of his butt in a small stone room. There was a hole in the wall-the one he'd slid out of-and there was a hallway leading out of the room that had big neon letters that read 'this way to the Labyrinth of Doom', in front of him was a little sign that said:  
"Welcome to the Koruda Underground Battlefield Labyrinth of Doom! Seek out an opponent and beat the crap out of them, your every move is being monitored by our cameras so that the folks upstairs can enjoy the show. You may leave the labyrinth at any time and surrender your chance to win the tournament simply by saying "Koruda rules and Tendo stools" P.S. Please do not tare down sign for use as a weapon!"  
Ranma scratched his head, and from far he faintly heard Ukyo shout 'like heckI wont tare down the sign!' He guessed it was time to find an opponent, so he headed towards the tunnel.  
He traveled through the maze, searching for something . . . anything.  
But there were no enemies.  
None he could find that is . . .  
Then suddenly his Ranma Senses (sort of like Spider Senses, only this was designed to be used by people named Ranma) started to tingle, and he looked behind him see a girl!  
"34-26-36!" Ranma cried.  
"It's Anzu! For the love of Mike, it's Anzu! You think calling me by some numbers is funny or something?" Anzu demanded.  
"No, I just seem to remember them."  
"You're teasing me, aren't you?" Anzu demanded.  
"Naw. I mean, hey, you look like whatever one of those numbers represents the T&A department should be a fifty five!" Ranma said, then thought for a moment, "Or er . . . a fifteen, whichever means it's bigger."  
"It's the stupid uniform! It makes my breast look . . . hey wait, T and A? You mean my butt looks big too? Stop it, you're just trying to be mean, it doesn't look-oh my gosh it does!" Anzu moaned as she looked at her butt which really didn't look that big, but she probably had self esteem issues to begin with, having such a forgettable name. "Ugh! That's it, I'm so going to kill you!" She cried.  
"I didn't design it!" Ranma protested. "Save the anger for the tailor!"  
"No, I'd rather take it out on you!" Anzu snapped. "But not here, follow me, we're going to need more room, this crowded hallway won't do!"  
Ranma shrugged and followed Anzu. He agreed, he wanted lots of space for his first fight, and if she felt more room would improve her game, then more power to her.  
Literally, he wanted her as powerful as she could get so it wouldn't be a complete snore.  
"Doesn't seem fair." He said.  
"I know-er what?" Anzu asked.  
"Well you seem to know your way around the maze, the rest of us have to find our way." Ranma explained.  
Anzu scoffed. "It doesn't matter if I know my way or not, because I don't know where anyone else is and even if I find them I still have to beat them, my only advantage is that I know where the good fighting spots are"  
"You could set up an ambush and wait." Ranma pointed out.  
"No, that never occurred to me!" Anzu gasped. "I wasn't born yesterday, duh! I just don't want to stay down here any longer than I have to, this maze has existed under our dojo for generations. To be able to call yourself a Koruda you have to know it's secrets . . . plus my father used to throw me down here whenever he wanted to get busy with my mother. He said it would build character, but it just gave me a complex . . . I'm not sure when he installed the neon letters, and the cameras and all that though . . ." Anzu admitted.  
"My dad used to throw me into a pit full of starving cats with fish sausages tied 'round my body like unbreakable chains of torment when I was a little boy." Ranma said to make conversation. "It was supposed to make me stronger, but to make a long story short my dad's a moron and it was a fake training method. I guess ya could say it gave me a complex too"  
He knew it was supposed to be one of his most jealously guarded secrets, but he figured there was no way this girl was getting a cat down here, and it wasn't like he'd mentioned that he was afraid of them anyway.  
Plus he'd just proven that his childhood was worse than hers, it was a competition and he won! Hah! He won everything!  
"Cant believe no one noticed a giant underground maze before though." Ranma said.  
"The city council was probably aware of it when it was constructed." Anzu said.  
"I cant believe they'd agree t'let you Korudas have a large underground facility like this, if it caves in the whole city's gonna collapse."  
"We have a permit." Anzu said simply. Somehow Ranma doubted that.  
"Didn't know they handed out permits for this sort of thing. Kinda creepy, really." Ranma sighed.  
"I . . . I'm really sorry about this." Anzu said.  
"Whazzat?" Ranma asked, but without another word the girl bolted off down the path. Ranma followed after her, but all too soon he came to a dead end.  
Where was he? Where had she gone?  
Had this been a trick? Yes, of course! She'd wanted to get him lost so he'd stay out of the fight and she could beat everyone else!  
No, that made no sense because eventually she'd have to come back for him and he'd be full of energy while she'd probably be tired.  
It had to be something else.  
"Greetings." An unfamiliar voice called from behind him. "A pleasure to meet you in person, Ranma Saotome. Such a pleasure."  
Ranma turned around to see a man standing behind him. He was perhaps middle aged, handsome, and he looked almost friendly. He wore a white Nehru jacket with gold rings that sort of reminded Ranma of Lotion's gold and silver anklets.  
"You know me, and I'm not surprised, I'm really popular. But who're you?" Ranma asked.  
The man smiled, "I am Jun. Master of martial arts . . . and so much more."  
"You must be that tough guy Anzu was talkin' about!" Ranma said excitedly.  
Jun nodded. "Lo-Chun told me you pride yourself at having never lost any competition with the words "martial arts" in the title. I also pride myself in that regard. Should we see which of us is better?"  
"You know Lotion?" Ranma scoffed. "Yer the second person to show up in as many days, bring up that skinny motor mouth and want to fight me!"  
"You should be grateful, if not for Han I would never have found out about you." Jun said. "If I hadn't sent Maro after you, I might have wasted my time going after Hibiki, when obviously you're the one I want."  
"You sent that freak after me'n Ryoga?" Ranma demanded. So this guy was responsible for Akane and Ryoga getting hurt? As if the challenge alone hadn't been enough reason to take him on.  
"I had to test you. Ryoga failed, but you, Ranma Saotome . . . show some promise. Allow me to help you to be all that you can be, may I?"  
Before Ranma could answer, Jun launched into a series of offensive routines, he didn't seem at all hindered by his Nehru jacket, and he had Ranma's back to a wall.  
Their hands became blurs, Jun was fast. Not nearly as fast as Ranma, but fast.  
Ranma managed to deflect every blow thanks to his superior speed, but there wasn't enough time to launch an attack of his own. He waited for an opening . . .  
He saw it, and his fist shot forward for Jun's chest, ready to knock him into next Tuesday!  
Just ten blows. Ranma could land a hundred blows in one second when he set his mind to it, but since Jun might not be as tough as Ryoga he'd just do ten.  
Jun caught his hand before he landed the first, and twisted it around behind Ranma's back, Ranma brought his leg up to kick the older man in the face, but instead Jun moved to the left side and let Ranma flip, then kicked him in the chest and sent him sprawling.  
Ranma heard a click, and turned his head to look at Jun.  
He was holding a gun. "That's not fair." Ranma pointed out.  
Jun smiled. "Lesson number one: life's never fair."  
"So yer gonna shoot me?"  
"If you don't stop me, yes." The gunman smiled.  
"Talk about a sore loser." Ranma scoffed.  
"Loser? I was sporting with you. I've put better men than you in their graves, and I've been doing it since before you were born." Jun said.  
Ranma glared into his enemy's eyes, and felt no fear or helplessness, just disbelief. A gun? A gun! What the heck, who did this guy think he was bringing a gun to a martial arts tournament?  
After the disbelief wore off outrage sunk in! Who did this guy think he was? "Yer goin' down!" Ranma shouted and swept his legs out, knocking Jun off his, Ranma did not have a great deal of room to roll to his feet and punch Jun in the face a couple of times-it wasn't exactly martial arts anyway-so he threw his legs backwards and flipped himself onto his feet instead.  
Jun was up, and he leapt back against the wall and raised his arm to fire the gun.  
Ranma was moving before the trigger was even pulled, lunging forward and knocking the gun out of his opponent's hands, he went further, slamming Jun's back against the wall.  
He felt a knee lodge itself in his stomach, he struck Jun in the chest, and then leapt back, sizing up his enemy.  
The older fighter didn't seem terribly hurt, but then again neither was Ranma. "You're not terrible." Jun admitted. "I've faced better. Not many, but I have faced better."  
"It's still early into the fight," Ranma grinned, "I've got plenty of time to show you, there ain't nobody better!"  
Jun rubbed his hands together and then cracked his knuckles. "I certainly hope so, Saotome. Because I'm afraid I've already bet both our lives on it."  
Ranma raised his eyebrows in question, but Jun just lunged forward for another attack!

To Be Continued . . .

Next Time . . . The tournament continues, and it's Ryoga against Mousse next time, which one will prevail? Prepare to behold Dr. Tofu's ultimate Tofu Strike attack! Lotion and Shampoo will try to save Ranma from Jun, but will Ranma want to be saved? The Original Character cast will suffer it's first casualty, but who's it going to be? (Probably not who you think) What did Nabiki and Ryoga talk about when Nabiki got them their own room? (And yes, all they did was talk) Will it be of any use to her when Maro shows up to kidnap her? Why is Yoshimi's plan starting to fall apart? Find out next time in . . . Throwing Down the Gauntlet!

And in the end . . .  
Chrissy: This is Chrissy! You may remember me from such movies as, "Chrissy Does Texas", "Chrissy Goes Down on Manhattan", "Visiting Chrissy's Naughty Place", "Return to Chrissy's Naughty Place", "Chrissy Meats Sissy", "Chrissy Meats Sissy II: The Revenge", and "Chrissy Meats Sissy III: Now it's Personal!" (note that the word 'meat' is not is typo, we are however, unsure as to why it is used in this way as none of these movies involved actual meat) anyway I'd like to say that I have NO problems sleeping at night, or living with myself! Of course I don't have to live with myself, I'm a fictional character, and all those movies don't exist in real life (too bad for you). All the same if I were real I'd point out that being a porn star is not as terrible as those moral type people try to make it out to be. We have about as much sex in one week of shooting as your teenage daughter after one weekend of partying, maybe even less. But unlike her we always use protection, and we get paid for damning our immortal souls. So please, don't pity me because I love my-uh . . . uh . . . boohoohoo! I'm such a whore! Get me a priest, a rabbi and a bucket of fried chicken! Oh someone call my mother and tell her she was right I-I mean I love being an actress! I'd tell you to just look at how happy I am, but I'm not a real person so you can't. But yeah . . . buy porn, just don't call it that because we in the industry find that word insulting, our work is called "exotic media"!

GrimmZ: Nobody calls it "exotic media", you idiot. All right, you know I am GrimmZ, you probably remember me from . . . well the story you just read? Otherwise there's absolutely no reason you should know me, or care. Okay, here's the skinny, Chrissy had to have her say or she swore she'd sue me for slandering her and her profession . . . how she'd accomplish this, being a figment of my imagination, trapped in my incredibly moral brain and all was beyond me, but who wants to take chances? However no matter how many times I tell them to stop, I know young impressionable minds read this story and couldn't let them think I supported Chrissy's beautiful, magnificent-er I mean utterly disgusting filth. Even though I'm the one who made it all up . . . wow I'm really dumb! Don't agree with me on that, just don't buy porn! It's immoral y'know!

These messages brought to you by people who don't really care whether you buy porn or not, but who do get off on wasting sixty seconds of your life forcing you to read their totally unfunny stuff. Thank you.


	12. Throwing Down the Gauntlet!

**Disclaimer**: I dont own Ranma 1/2, I dont own Kingdom Hearts (The Strike Raid, and Ars Acaram(sp?) attacks) I'll probably never own anything really important.

**A/N:** Knowing that I(maybe) still have fans with an interest, whohave suffered and waited long enough, this chapter has been posted **now**. I had wanted to take a little more time to show how Akane is progressing in the tournament, but that would have made it run too long, you'll have to wait until next chapter. P.S. I'm trying out a new format, if this appears as a disgusting blob of letters, do please let me know so I can fix it.

**Charlotte's Sequel!  
Chapter XII!  
Throwing Down the Gauntlet!**

Ryoga felt uneasiness overcome him as he slid down the long and winding tunnel that led, for all he knew, straight to the center of the earth. Oh what torment! Oh what pain! Oh what fear! Would this ride through his darkest nightmares ever end?  
And suddenly it was over, he stood up and wondered, uncomfortably, when his testicles would descend again, they certainly didn't belong in his throat, and it felt like that was where they were after that nightmare drop.  
He took some deep breaths, then set out, failing to read the sign in front of him.  
It wasn't long before he came to his first fork in the road, he could turn left or right, he turned left and somehow ended up right back at the beginning of the maze. He headed for the fork again and met with the same results.  
Ryoga was becoming frustrated, he couldn't fight an opponent if he couldn't find an opponent, and he had to win this tournament! Nabiki had made it painfully clear that she was expecting him to come in second, as if she didn't believe he could do better than that! And after their conversation that morning . . .  
Ryoga scoffed, he wouldn't let this stupid little fork in the road beat him! He'd find his way out of here if it was the last thing he did and . . . which way had he come from again?

"A maze! Of all things it had to be a maze!" Nabiki scoffed.  
"Um . . . Nabiki, you've been saying that over and over again for the past twenty minutes." Kasumi pointed out.  
"Which is how long it's taken that numskull to make any progress!" Nabiki hissed at her older sister. "He's got to fight someone if he's going to win!"  
"I don't care who wins," Kasumi frowned, "I just hope nobody gets hurt. Arent you more interested in Ryoga's safety, than your silly bet?"  
"Not really." The younger Tendo sister shrugged. To say that Nabiki Tendo was not concerned for Ryoga's well being would have been wildly inaccurate. His safety and success meant money in her pocket, which resulted in a happier, kinder Nabiki, something that everyone could benefit from.  
But Ryoga was tough, there was no reason to worry.  
Okay, so Nabiki was a little worried, but only a little. She knew nothing could seriously injure Ryoga, but still she really hoped these insane maze building Koruda freaks didn't prove her wrong.  
It must be worse for Kasumi, Nabiki realized, since she fancied Dr. Tofu! Tofu was not only the weakest link on the Tendo team, he was also apparently insane, Nabiki had never been completely certain because the good doctor had indeed been released from the hospital, and claimed that he'd been putting on an act . . . only he really did seem nuts.  
"I'm sure they'll be fine." Nabiki told her sister, Kasumi smiled weakly, "Dr. Tofu is a martial arts master . . . um . . . right?" Nabiki realized she really didn't know.  
She knew the good doctor knew something about martial arts, Nabiki just never bothered to find out which ones he'd mastered, or if he was a combat seasoned martial artist, or just a text book "hey I can do that!" martial artist. She just hadn't cared enough before.  
"But everyone competing is a martial arts master, someone could get hurt, aren't you worried about Ryoga?" Kasumi fretted.  
"My fear is minimal." Nabiki scoffed. "Of all the people here, he's the one who spends his leisure time getting hit by boulders and the only fighters we've seen capable of causing him real damage are on his team, he'll be fine. Besides, a few lumps on the head might do him some good." Nabiki shrugged, just because she was worrying didn't mean she should let Kasumi know it, after all if Ryoga was so much better than Tofu, and Kasumi knew it, if Nabiki worried about Ryoga, Kasumi might go insane worrying about Tofu!  
She was trying to keep her sister calm, but the result was surprisingly different. "Well then you make your bets and worry more about your pockets than your fiancee, I'll worry enough about everyone for the both of us." Kasumi said in a cheerful but somehow guilt inducing tone.  
Nabiki sighed and shook her head, just then Yoshimi appeared, "I must speak to you, it's urgent!" She said to Kasumi, and without waiting for Kasumi to answer, Yoshimi dragged her off to talk about . . . whatever.  
Nabiki frowned, a lucky escape for Kasumi, because Nabiki had just realized that if Kasumi was worrying more than her about everyone except Ryoga, that was fine, but since she was worrying about everyone and Ryoga it must mean that she liked him and that was an offense punishable by death, or at least a few months of the cold shoulder.  
Before Nabiki could decide whether or not her older sister, whom she deemed less attractive than herself but far more attractive than Akane and therefore a major threat, had an interest in her man, Kasumi's seat was taken by Kuno!  
"What are you doing here?" Nabiki was surprised to say the least.  
"Watching the tournament of course." Kuno said simply, running his fingers through his hair.  
Why did he keep doing that? Nabiki mimicked him and tried it for herself, then decided it was probably just a weird habit, like how Ranma could never speak more than two sentences to Akane without insulting her.  
"I must confess, I am pleased to see you here." Tatewaki said, "Perhaps you and I could talk about . . . certain issues?"  
"Didn't know we had 'issues' to talk about." Nabiki sighed. "Okay, what's on your mind?"  
"I was only wondering," Tatewaki said "if you'd given any thought to what I said to you before about college."  
Nabiki frowned. "Well . . . maybe I'll think about college later."  
"Why not now?" Kuno asked.  
"Because it's too late to be accepted into a college I might actually like, I got a bunch of acceptance letters from nobody, loser colleges, I wouldn't want to go to those places."  
"It's not too late, I've told you I know of just the place for you, and they're very willing to accept you."  
"Without ever submitting an application?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow.  
"Yes!" Kuno sounded pleased and excited. "That is, they want to meet with you, and decide based on that meeting whether or not to have you in their school. They don't usually accept new students so late, but . . . well, you see there's the small matter of a new building hinging on your acceptance."  
Nabiki's jaw dropped as she took in Kuno's meaning. "How good is this place?"  
"It is a school for the obscenely wealthy." Kuno shrugged. "Or so I've been told."  
"Well . . . wouldn't I have to be wealthy to attend?" Nabiki asked.  
"And you would be . . . if you would do me the honor of . . . I mean if you and I were to . . . um . . ."  
"Pose as brother and sister!" Nabiki cried, as if she were guessing Kuno's plan, she slapped her fist into her palm, "Brilliant Kuno-baby, and that's something I don't often say to you without a heavy concentration of sarcasm!"  
"Uh . . . yes, brother and sister." Kuno frowned, obviously he'd wanted to say something else, and Nabiki was fairly certain she knew what.  
But she wasn't ready to deal with that!  
Curse it all, college was the last thing she needed to be thinking about, she needed to be thinking about which of these boys she was going to be with!  
Certainly she loved Ryoga, but even though he was the one she loved the cold hard fact was that he was poor, and having children with him would probably be asking for trouble since his lack of a sense of direction seemed hereditary.  
On the other hand she didn't think she was really in love with Kuno . . . but her future with him would be financially secure to say the least! The children might not have much by way of brains if they took too heavily after their father, but at least there'd be a chance that they'd know where they were going while they were being stupid.  
Ryoga was getting better and better in bed, Nabiki hadn't really tested Kuno yet . . .  
Both were easy to manipulate and control, Nabiki wasn't really sure whom to pick.  
She loved Ryoga . . . but what if she was falling in love with Kuno? What was love anyway? Why was she thinking about this anyway? Kuno hadn't said he wanted her to marry him, so she was just guessing . . . right?

Ryoga's instincts told him that danger lurked around every corner, that his very life depended on his skill and training.  
Ryoga's mind told him that this was incredibly stupid, and he'd rather be above ground injur-er _fighting_ people, than below ground stumbling around in a dank, dark maze.  
He hadn't found a single soul! Was it too much to ask for to find just a single sign of human life? Was it? He pondered this and wondered if maybe he could try using the video cameras to somehow lead him to the fighting, when he stepped on something strange.  
Looking down and seeing he'd just crushed the rib cage of a human skeleton did not _scare_ Ryoga, but it was disturbing, and he jumped back purely out of surprise dragging much of the skeleton with him. He remained calm, and calmly began to jump up and down trying to kick the rib cage and what bones were attached to it, off of his foot.  
Sympathy for the dead could come later. Right now he just needed to . . . why wasn't it coming off? Was it cursed? It was cursed! The skeleton was going to stick to him forever until he sacrificed five lambs and gave it a proper burial!  
Ryoga's breathing increased, he began to become concerned. Not frightened of course, but _concerned._ "Get it off me! Get it off me! Oh my gosh I'm going to die and no one will ever find my body!"  
"Calmmmmm dowwwwn!" A ghoulish voice moaned.  
Now Ryoga was . . . startled. Nothing more, really. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, and, jumping on one leg to avoid further damage to the skeleton, turned to face the direction the ghoulish voice had come from.  
It was just Dr. Tofu! "What are you doing?" Ryoga demanded. "And why are you talking like that?" He added, in regards to Tofu's ghostly moan.  
"I am searching for an opponent, and in regards to your second question . . . I was just . . . well anyway . . ." The allegedly kind doctor trailed off. He knelt down to inspect the skeleton attached to Ryoga, and pulled it away from him. "I would like to find out who decorated this place." Tofu said.  
"So they can do time for manslaughter?" Ryoga asked.  
"Manslaughter? You mean this? It's a fake, I know real bones when I see them, you can tell this is a plastic replica built to scale by the way the rib cage is broken, notice the ribs--" Dr. Tofu was saying, but Ryoga cut him off.  
"Yes, yes, I'll take your word for it." He was slightly relieved. "Ranma better not have beaten everyone!" The annoyed young martial artist grumbled.  
"Oh I'm sure that isn't the case, we've only been down here for . . ." Dr. Tofu frowned and looked at his watch. "Well . . . anyway, I'm sure that's not the case." He said.  
"Of course not!" A familiar voice cried, "For my companion and I are still here, ready and willing to destroy the two of you! I am Mousse, the master of concealed weapons, I am the greatest martial arts master you will ever meet, and sadly the last as well!" Mousse seemed to walk right out of the wall to Ryoga's left, and one of the Koruda girls leapt down from the ceiling to his right.  
"And my name's Tomoko, I'm probably the hottest martial artist you'll meet, and I'd like to stay that way so please try not to hit me in the face, okay?" Ryoga shrugged, he'd try to remember that. "This guy is cute," Tomoko said, pointing at Mousse, "but he takes himself way too seriously, he's a little bit of a drama queen. Also he kept mentioning some sort of shampoo, it got really annoying, but I guess what I'm really trying' t'say here is that we don't need t'take this too far, I mean first one knocked on their back, right?" She looked at Dr. Tofu, "Uh . . . and if yer wonderin', I just broke up with my boyfriend, or he broke up with me . . . whichever. Are you single?" She asked.  
"In a manner of speaking. I _am_ married to my work, and there _is_ someone I admire quite a bit." Dr. Tofu said, casually adjusting his glasses and urging a sigh from the girl. Tomoko was attractive, but apparently not Tofu's type. Ryoga could understand, after all, Yoshimi _was_ really cute, she was just also really freakin' insane.  
"This is no time for idle talk!" Mousse announced, bringing everyone's attention back to the here and now. "I will challenge you both, together or one at a time, I have to win so I can have my darling Shampoo!"  
Ryoga was not really sure why Tomoko would call Mousse a drama queen, his challenge was very similar to something Ryoga might say, what was wrong with that? "You don't need to challenge us both! You wont get past me, and as for Shampoo . . . well I don't really think she'd be impressed whether you beat me or not." Ryoga said honestly.  
"This . . . is true--er I mean that is utter nonsense! I will destroy you, and the good doctor, with apologies to you both, my friends!" Mousse announced, raising his hands to a fighting position, his long red sleeves receded, revealing black gloved hands and a pair of punching daggers .  
Actually the Koruda Ranger suit didn't look half bad on Mousse, but Ryoga had a strange feeling that what really made the suits look stupid were the inflated breasts on the ladies.  
"So you're a doctor?" Tomoko asked Tofu, who nodded, "That means you're rich, right?" She asked.  
"Well . . . not really." Tofu admitted.  
"But aren't doctors supposed to be rich?" Tomoko asked.  
"Oh my!" Tofu laughed, "What a funny joke! A rich doctor? Utter fiction."  
"Uh . . . right." Tomoko nodded. "Tell you what, we'll let them fight and we'll go over here and fight . . . where it's safe. As a doctor, surely you understand the importance of not injuring your patients." The girl said uneasily.  
How could such a coward call herself a martial artist? Did this girl have any redeeming quality that Ryoga didn't see? Perhaps this was a trap, perhaps she was more a ninja than a martial arts mistress, perhaps she would lure the good doctor into a false sense of security and ambush him with a powerful attack!  
"The safety of my patients _is_ very important to me. I do not believe you are one of them, but all the same I understand what you're saying. It would be a pleasure to combat such a polite young lady." Tofu nodded, Tomoko looked relieved until Tofu pulled the cord on his chainsaw.  
His eyes seemed to change in intensity, a wicked grin came to his face and he nodded as if someone had said something very interesting. "Yes indeed." The doctor grinned. "And we can show her our new special attack . . ." He said, presumably to himself.  
"Um . . ." Tomoko looked pretty nervous. Ryoga didn't blame her, he didn't know Dr. Tofu as well as he might like, but were their positions reversed, Ryoga himself might be just a little afraid of Tofu.  
Tofu raised the chainsaw as if he meant to attack, and Tomoko bolted down the passageway. "Don't run! Don't run! Stay and witness our new super powerful attack!" Tofu cried.  
Ryoga and Mousse stared at each other for a moment . . . they heard Tofu shout "Tofu Strike!" and Tomoko scream "Are ya insane?" both young men shook their heads.  
Ryoga felt strangely removed from the whole thing. He didn't know Tofu well enough to hope for his success or failure, and didn't respect the cowardly Tomoko enough to hope that she managed to survive her battle with Tofu, pretty face intact.  
He just nodded to Mousse. "Shall we?" He asked.  
"Indeed, lets! Through defeating you I will grow powerful enough to defeat Ranma Saotome, and when I have, Shampoo will be mine!" Mousse said, again taking up a fighting stance.  
Ryoga adopted one of his own, he noticed the cameras came to life, focusing on the two of them. And the battle began!

Tomoko was young, she had her whole life ahead of her, martial arts was just something she'd done to get a cute guy's attention, but in the end it became a hobby and now look where it'd gotten her!  
"Look, there ain't nothin' "martial" about swinging a chainsaw at a girl!" Tomoko screamed.  
The insane doctor didn't seem to hear her. She noticed also that his eyes seemed to have rolled back into his head, giving him a demonic appearance, what a nightmare!  
It was time to stand and fight! She was a martial artist, not a silly girl who was terribly afraid of chainsaws . . . oh wait, she was a silly girl who was terribly afraid of chainsaws! Okay, so she was both! But she'd face her fear and face this insane doctor and defeat him! She'd make Anzu so jealous, and win the tournament while she was at it!  
Yeah! That's the spirit! She turned and stood firm, taking up a fighting stance. "I'm through runnin' away! Yer goin' down now psycho!"  
"I'm pleased to see you've stopped trying to escape." The mad doctor said in a disgustingly friendly voice. "Now face my Tofu Strike!"  
"Bring it!" Tomoko scoffed, preparing to be assaulted in a manner that would somehow involve a health food product.  
"While watching some children play the game Kingdom Tarts--a story about a boy who sets out to be the world's greatest baker, and must defeat the 'heartless' fried food companies with the power of his awesome Spatula Blade--I beheld a marvelous attack, and I simply must use it on you." The doctor said as he ripped the cord for his chainsaw.  
Gosh that was scary. "Look, that was juts a video game!" Tomoko said, her bravery beginning to waver . . . no! She wouldn't let it! She'd face her fear, and she'd win!  
"The Strike attack was fantastic," Tofu said as he ripped the cord again, "You throw your Spatula Blade and it returns, like a boomerang."  
Tomoko gulped. She had a feeling she knew where this was going, and she hoped she was wrong.  
"After much training, Betty and I have perfected this technique, calling it the Tofu Strike! You're it's first victim, be honored!" The mad man screamed as he hurled his also screaming chainsaw at Tomoko.  
"WHY ME!" Tomoko screamed as she hit the dirt! The chainsaw buzzed overhead and she came up, fists ready to pound some sense into this manic doctor! She wasn't scared, she was mad! "You crazy son of a--" She turned and saw it actually coming back! "Why? Why! Why?" She screamed as she hit the dirt again, back to being scared, she stood up and was on the verge of wetting herself. "Are ya insane or just a jerk? Why? Why! Why?"  
"Tofu Vortex!" Tofu screamed, lunging forward, chainsaw screaming! Tomoko didn't have time to get out of the way! She was going to die because of some moron who couldn't tell the difference between video games and real life!  
The chainsaw came in, arcing towards her chest, she kept her eyes open, ready to die like a real warrior.  
PLEW!  
There was a loud pop, and Tomoko flew back ten feet, Tofu flew back twenty, his chainsaw knocked out of his hands!  
"I'm alive?" Tomoko raised her eyebrows. "I'm alive!" She looked down at the cut in her uniform, the giant breasts had apparently blew out upon contacting the chainsaw, knocking both her and her opponent back and as a bonus they'd deflated so they didn't make her look as stupid!  
"Now that's what I call a 'booby trap' ya freakin' psycho!" She shouted at the doctor, who's eyes had rolled back into a proper position. "For once your comic book addiction has come in handy, I love ya boss!" Tomoko extorted! "Er . . . like a friend that is." She decided. "The sort'a friend you only want t'see once a year." She added.  
"I am surprised by the power of your suit . . . but I am not defeated!" Tofu cried.

Mousse lunged in, his punching dagger, the actual martial artsy name of which escapes me at the moment, seeking Ryoga's throat.  
Ryoga reached out and grabbed Mousse's wrist and slammed him into the wall.  
Mousse however was too well dressed for such a simplistic end, instead he puffed out his chest, hit the wall and bounced back into Ryoga like a rubber ball. "Fashionable, practical, and useful!" Mousse cried, Ryoga didn't see how even nearsighted Mousse could make such a claim about the super loser suit.  
Now Mousse knocked Ryoga into the wall! Ryoga's arms shot out and grabbed Mousse in a head lock, the Chinese martial artist responded by materializing a . . .  
A training potty?  
It looked like a clown with his mouth wide open, the sort of thing that would not only scare a child and cause them to think that clowns wish to eat them rear end first, but also might make a child believe that should they meet a clown in real life, they should feed him fecal matter.  
"Wrong item?" Ryoga sneered, until the stupid clown exploded in a puff of white smoke. "I hate clowns!" He cried.  
"Now Hibiki, face my ultimate weapon!" In the smog Ryoga couldn't see it, but he had a feeling it looked stupid too. "I was saving it for Saotome, but you'll be an acceptable test subject! Hyah!" Mousse cried as he threw this item at Ryoga.  
Ryoga saw it's form coming at him, he lunged forward and kicked it back at Mousse, it burst and Ryoga could now see it was gourd!  
Of cold water!  
The room was shrinking . . . well technically it was a hallway, so the hallway was shrinking.  
Ryoga was a little black piglet! He was huggably cute and squeezably huggable, excellent with rice and poi, and of course: adorable!  
But Mousse was affected too, when Ryoga had kicked the gourd he sent it spinning right into his's opponent's face, and what was left of the water inside transformed Mousse into a duck!  
Ryoga considered the fact that this was all being filmed, his weakness revealed for all to see! The shame! The humiliation, people would call him a freak and ridicule him, he'd never be able to show his face in Nerima again!  
But first he'd make Mousse pay for this whole fiasco! What sort of fool was he bringing a gourd of cold water? The fool! Not to mention the fact that Mousse, obviously, was a fool!  
And so a little piglet lunged for a duck with glasses, teeth ready to chomp down!

Ushio and Soun were sitting in the control booth deciding which fights the crowd would watch from which screen, however when the smoke settled after Mousse's attack on Ryoga, there was just a pig, a duck and two piles of cloths. "I don't believe this!" Ushio cried, "The middle of the tournament and they decided to skip out and go streaking? I don't even want to speak the other possibility that comes to mind when I see two piles of cloths and don't see the two boys that were wearing them!"  
"Well the pig and the duck seem to be fighting rather energetically. Not like these other screens." Soun said. Some of the other screens were completely blank, as if someone had interfered with them, Ushio would just have to fire whomever installed them.  
"We still have no idea where Ranma and Anzu are . . . they're probably fighting up a tornado right now and the cameras are missing it!" Ushio whined. "We cant show them the pig and the duck because they aren't saying anything cool while they fight!"  
"Well . . . they could be!" Soun said.

Nabiki was in a foul mood as it was, she was considering her future and was not completely content with the options before her, she knew she needed to control and manipulate her current situation but she wasn't sure how to do it yet!  
Still she shuddered when she saw the screen come to life with the image of P-Chan and Mousse-Duck rolling around in violent mortal combat. She nearly vomited when she heard her father and Ushio Kuroda's voices over the loud speakers, dubbing the fight.  
Mousse the duck was represented by Ushio, "QWACK! Before this day we have been barn yard friends, but today that changes, I shall defeat you, pig! WACK! I shall have you cooked with onions or cabbage depending on my mood, and served with poi and rice and pineapple! WACH!"  
Of course this meant Nabiki's father was the voice of P-Chan! "GRNT! I will destroy you and everything you hold dear in this life! ERNK! I will rip your wish bone out and make you swallow it, I will can you like spam and use your blood to paint my future father in law's house a charming shade of red, and when that's through I'll revive you and do it all over again! BUKEE!"  
"Oh please somebody kill me!" Nabiki moaned.  
Kuno gasped, "Say not such things, Nabiki Tendo, if you were to die I would . . . uh . . . well I certainly would be affected . . . I think."  
"You think? That's it? You just think?" Nabiki demanded.  
Tatewaki's response was swallowed up by the crowd, who apparently loved this pig on duck combat! "WACK! Tell me Mr. Pig, can you smell what The Duck is cooking?" Ushio demanded in a ducky voice.  
"ERNK! Sure can, and let me help you by opening a can of WHOOP ASS!" Soun cried.  
"WACK! Have at thee, I bite your tail!"  
"GRNT! Yo' mama!"  
"QUACK! Not the eyes!"  
"KEEE! Time for the pig to bring the pain!"  
"The crowd really loves it, but isn't this cruelty to animals?" Nabiki sighed.  
"Be that as it may, I have always wanted to know which was a more worthy adversary, the pig or the duck! From my childhood days on my uncle's farm I have been plagued by memories of being chased by both, and the time has now come to observe my enemies and study my enemies and--wait, is that not your pig, dear Nabiki Tendo?" Kuno asked.  
"I have never seen that pig before in my life." Nabiki lied. Then she sighed, "Okay, well I guess I'd better go get him . . ." She said, sighing and heading for the control booth where her father and his enemy had gone into a sort of rhythmic musical grunting and quacking, it seemed uncle Genma had also joined in and was doing a little of both.  
A symphony of kids trapped in grown up bodies and forced to throw away their dreams to raise the families they'd conceived in the back seat of a car with their high school sweet hearts. Or something like that, Nabiki just kept telling herself it wasn't her life, it wasn't her problem, it was just a terrible dream, no one would recognize the voices, no one from any humane concern or association would show up at just that moment and arrest everyone in the building.

Tatewaki Kuno cursed under his breath. Something was very wrong when he couldn't declare his love for a woman! What was the hold up? He could tell he'd upset her, he just wasn't sure how! What had he done? Was it his pressuring her to choose?  
"Dance with me." Yoshimi commanded, appearing before him.  
Tatewaki raised an eyebrow at her. "Dance with you? To what?" He asked.  
"The melodious barnyard noises." Yoshimi said, batting her eye lashes at him.  
Somewhat reluctantly, Tatewaki agreed. He was a romantic at heart after all, though he really found the so called "melodious barnyard noises" quite annoying and not at all good dance material.  
"Have you convinced Nabiki Tendo to give up my Ryoga yet?" Yoshimi asked.  
"Not yet. I believe I am close . . ." Tatewaki trailed off. What would he tell her? How would he tell her once he found out what it was he'd tell her? Before he always knew just what to say to the pigtailed girl or Akane Tendo to make them turn into loving puddles of jelly, but with Nabiki Tendo . . .  
He was at a loss.  
Yoshimi seemed to read this in his eyes, she patted his shoulder and said, "You understand the plan, do you not? It is imperative that you carry it through . . . once you and Nabiki are attending a far away college you will have her all to yourself, and I will have Ryoga."  
"Is Kinnosuke not coming to the college as well?" Kuno asked.  
"He is, as a back up." Yoshimi nodded.  
"Back up?" Tatewaki raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"  
"Nothing. You know Tatewaki . . . if you are not willing to carry through with this plan, if your heart does not yearn for Nabiki Tendo . . . now is your last chance to pull out. This is your last chance to walk away."  
Tatewaki raised an eyebrow at this. A chance? He knew this plan was important to Yoshimi, but he felt he should be able to walk away from it whenever he felt, he should not have a set limit of chances. The girl was quite presumptuous!  
Or . . . was she?  
Odd, how she had said 'pull out', was she implying that tonight he might bed Nabiki Tendo? If such should occur then indeed he would not be able to simply walk away from the relationship after tonight.  
Yes, of course! For a moment he almost thought Yoshimi didn't have his best interest at heart, but now he knew he was mistaken. "I shall pursue Nabiki Tendo." He said. "You will have your love in your arms soon, and I shall have . . . mine." He said, suffering from a mix of declaration and realization.  
"Yes." Yoshimi said darkly though Kuno was too busy contemplating what sex with Nabiki would be like to actually notice. "Soon I'll be the only one he could possibly love."  
Tatewaki took a step back from Yoshimi and their dance--which was not enjoyable to begin with--and turned towards Nabiki Tendo's direction. She was gone! Where had she . . .  
"Do not pursue her too closely young master Kuno," Yoshimi said, despite the fact that Kuno was older than she was, "you might get . . . hurt." Yoshimi giggled and left, melting into the crowd.  
Tatewaki scratched his head, and began searching for Nabiki. He still wasn't sure if he wanted her more than her sister and the pigtailed girl (And Azusa, and Mariko, and that girl who baked him cookies when he was ten) but for now Nabiki was the only one who had not moved to France, was not competing in the tournament, did not seem to have the brain of a twelve year old, was not stalking him and sending him locks of her hair in the mail, and was not now running a bakery in Africa, so he'd go with her.  
No . . . no it wasn't that, the others could be arranged in front of him in sexy lingerie, he still just couldn't get Nabiki off of his mind.

Jun leapt back, Saotome was much more powerful than he had appeared before. But still, he was nothing special.  
This was no god of death, this was just a boy with impressive martial skill. Had he been found and recruited some years earlier he might have been a fine addition to the Nekekami, but he was too old now and too set in his "righteous" ways, he would only prove to be a threat in the future.  
Better to simply kill him now.  
Jun had long since given up trying to recognize Ranma's routines and therefore anticipate his moves, the boy had mixed far too many styles that Jun had never before seen. It might have been nice to learn some of Saotome's skills, unfortunately that simply wasn't possible.  
Dead men told no tales.  
Jun had never lost a martial arts competition, and he had never cheated to win, it had always been a victory hard bought through his own skill. But unlike other martial artists he was not infected by the disease known as "pride". Pride had no place in the life of a Nekekami, like most other emotions it was unnecessary, and so the idea of calling this one a loss and simply shooting Ranma did not bother Jun in the least. Yes, he would know that he had failed to overcome a mere boy, and could never honestly say that he had never been defeated in martial arts, but unlike Saotome he could live with that.  
He reached into his jacket as if he were reaching for a gun, drawing Saotome's attention to his hand and away from his foot.  
He struck the back of his boot against the stone floor in a feigned stumble, which caused the blade to emerge. As Ranma came closer to Jun, Jun launched a kick meant to bury that blade in Saotome's jaw, however something large and rectangular struck Ranma in the chest instead, knocking him back.  
"You cant do this! I just cant let you!" Anzu shouted from behind Jun. "What kind of person would I be if I just let you do something like this?"  
"The kind that still breaths!" Jun scowled, death god knew how the girl had snuck up on him like this! Had he been so involved with this battle? Could that possibly be the reason? He leaned his back against the wall of the narrow corridor the three of them now stood in. In this confined space there was no defeating two opponents at once, especially when one of them is better than you to begin with.  
"Mr. Big Shot eh?" Saotome scoffed. "So what's the deal? You with Koruda or not?"  
"Obviously not!" Anzu snapped. "Haven't you figured it out? He's trying to kill you, I led you into a trap and was going to just leave you to die before I had a conscience attack!"  
"I was doing just fine." Ranma pointed out. "I told'ja, I ain't interested in another fiancee."  
"If you think romance is the only reason someone might try to prevent a murder then remind me never to hire you as a body guard!" Anzu snapped.  
"She has a point you know," Jun said, "It doesn't always have to be about sex." Conversing was such a lovely way to buy time. Jun had a plan, but for it to succeed he needed Anzu off her guard.  
"I know that!" Ranma cried. "I was just . . . I mean it ain't like I don't know that!"  
"Well then why do you keep bringing it up? You must have a crush on me or something. Is that it?" Anzu teased.  
"Crush on a girl with such unappealing measurements?" Ranma snapped. "Add cold water and I could score more guys than you'll ever even talk to!"  
"Unappealing?" Anzu gasped, looking down at her body.  
Jun almost died right then! He suffered a severe gratitude attack, he was grateful to Ranma Saotome for being stupid enough to give him this fine opportunity!  
Anzu's gaze was on her figure, not on Jun. He lunged for her like lightning, drew a knife from his coat and stabbed it into her stomach as he shoved past her.  
"N-no!" She gasped, sounding more shocked than hurt, but it was the last thing she'd ever say, and master assassin Jun set off down the halls of the maze, seeking his exit.

Ranma's jaw dropped when Jun suddenly shoved past Anzu and bolted! A part of him wanted to chase after the man and bring him to justice, but the greater part of Ranma Saotome knew that seeing if Anzu was all right was more important.  
Of course he felt no love for her, it seemed so silly to have argued about it before, but it was true that helping others didn't always have to be driven by romance. What kind of monster would care about an injured human being purely for the sake of sex?  
Kodachi came to mind, and not being like her was more than enough motivation for Ranma to check on Anzu's condition.  
"You okay?" He asked as he knelt over her. A stupid question, home girl was gonna die!  
"I love my dad!" She sobbed with both her hands clutching her knife wound.  
"Yeah . . . I'll tell him you said that." Ranma nodded and took hold of her hand. "You . . . did good." What more could he say? She'd walked him into a trap then died trying to get him out of it . . . what do you tell such a confusing person?  
"Um . . . why are you . . . holding my hand?" Anzu asked.  
"Everything's okay. Go into the light." Ranma said soothingly. "Go . . . be at peace."  
"The light?" She frowned.  
"Oh . . ." Ranma frowned too. He'd just sort of assumed that having died for a good cause she'd go to heaven. "Well then fear no darkness . . ." He said, again trying to be soothing. "I'll never forget you . . ."  
"You're making me . . . kind of uncomfortable." Anzu admitted.  
"I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I said you were unappealing, you're really very pretty." Ranma said. "I mean, if I weren't spoken for by a chorus, I probably would'a asked you out." It couldn't hurt to pretend, she was dying so it wasn't like her feelings were going to get hurt when she found out he and Akane were getting married soon.  
"Oh, so that's what this is about!" Anzu seemed relieved, "I thought you were just crazy! Look, I'm not really into dating other martial artists, okay?"  
"Eh?" Ranma raised an eyebrow at her.  
She shoved him away and got to her feet, she didn't seem on the brink of death. Ranma looked and dint see any knife wound in her stomach.  
"Thank goodness the knife didn't get through the suit." Anzu said, "Have my father's eccentric behavior to thank for that. It's times like these that I'm reminded of why I don't hate him."  
"Oh!" Ranma said, understanding now. "So ya wont die . . . okay." He cracked his knuckles. "Y'know I let that guy get away 'cause I thought ya needed help."  
"Pshaw!" Anzu scoffed, "I told you I know this maze, we'll catch him at the exit, I know where he's headed."  
"All right!" Ranma grinned, "Oh, and for th'record, I ain't interested in dating you!"  
"I know, I know." Anzu grinned, "Good thing too, 'cause I'm outta your league anyway."  
"Oh yeah? Well how many boyfriends do you got? 'Cause I tell you, I'm so out of your league you'd have to sign a waiting list just to be seen with me in public! I've got three psycho fiancees, a psychotic "secret" admirer, and just last spring I found out I had a huge fan club full of horny teenage girls with no sense of reality!"  
Anzu stared at him for a moment. Then she frowned at him and shook her head, "That's . . . not impressive! That's . . . that's just terrible! That's disgusting! What's your problem? Is one wife not enough for you? Do you have to put that disgusting thing of yours in every woman you meet? Ever hear of these ten little guidelines called The Commandments?"  
Ranma frowned, he was pretty sure he'd seen an old movie by that name . . . but he'd gotten bored because it didn't involve martial arts . . . meh. Whatever.

Lo-Chun's heart was pounding in her chest, it was becoming hard to breathe.  
She was a Nekekami assassin, a hunter killer trained specifically to hunt down and eliminate assassins from other guilds, and trained by the best. She could do this!  
She could defeat the man who'd taught her everything she knew, kill the man who'd been like a father to her, she could save her new family from her old one. She'd hoped she might survive fighting Maro, and had struggled to remember her plan--even making up a song to help, she never forgot her favorite songs--but could she defeat Jun as well?  
She'd have to make up a new verse . . .. but how to begin it? She had no idea how to even begin to fight Jun.  
She stopped suddenly and fell to her knees, Shampoo kept going for a moment, then seemed to realize Lotion wasn't with her any more and turned back.  
"What you doing?" Shampoo demanded.  
Lotion laughed weakly, her heart was beating even faster, she was gasping for air, her hands were shaking and she prayed it was just exhaustion.  
She knew better.  
"I'm going to die." She whispered. It wasn't a question she knew it, she could feel it in her bones, her end had arrived!  
"You scared?" Shampoo scoffed, disgusted.  
Lotion felt a spasm run through her body. "I wish . . ." She whispered, "I wish it were that simple. If I were scared I could hide and be safe. But . . ." She closed her eyes. She was not afraid . . ."The glass. The glass would still be there, and stronger than ever. It'd be harder because I came so close this time, I can almost trick myself into thinking some of the people I've met here might actually care." She realized with a small amount of disgust, she was _eager_ to fight!  
"What you talking?" Shampoo scowled.  
Lotion drew a dagger, stood up and looked at the window to the fast food joint. There were people inside, but she didn't see them. It was not that she couldn't see them, rather she chose not to. She saw only her faint reflection. She glared at it, and said, "If the grass is greener on your side, if those you love and cherish feel the same about you, then at least one of us has led a good life!"  
Shampoo put her hand on Lotion's shoulder, "People staring!" She hissed.  
"I'll kill you!" Lotion screamed at her reflection, pointing an accusing finger at her faint mirror image, the people sitting at the table in front of the window jumped back out of their seats. "I don't need you! You skinny little, flat chested, loud mouthed fool! And stop mimicking me!" Lotion screamed, jumping up and down with rage, "Doubt? I cant afford it, people are depending on me, only I can do this! Jealousy? A useless waste of energy! Fear?" She laughed loudly, a baby in a high chair clapped and laughed along, gosh babies are so eager to laugh.  
"Forget fear!" Lotion screamed, a few people gasped at the rude Chinese girl who seemed to be screaming at some people trying to enjoy a family meal. "I'm breaking the glass, Ranma and Ryoga need me, they need me because I can do one thing they cant, I can't use martial arts so well, but I can take a life and not look back, I can end a story and not care about it's unwritten pages, they cant and that's why I'm necessary!"  
"Ma'am, you're creating a public disturbance, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." The police officer said.  
"Curse you all, stop trying to ruin my dramatic moment!" Lotion cried, she grabbed Shampoo and they ran off, the police officer may have fired a shot, but Lotion wasn't paying attention, she was wondering if maybe she should have gotten something to eat back at that restrant, one hates to die on an empty stomach and those baked potatoes smelled good . . . but Lotion didn't care for baked potatoes anyway so she kept on running.

Kodachi sat down and took a sip of the cup of tea in front of her. She closed her eyes for a moment, relishing the taste . . . and decided it was a bad idea to do so.  
She spat it out--what a classy young lady she was!--and threw the cup at Sasuke! "This is terrible! Absolutely terrible! It tastes like . . . well I will let you know once I think of something vile and disgusting enough to describe this!"  
"I'm sorry ma'am." Sasuke said. "But . . . I needed a place to put the gold fish while I cleaned the tank and the tea cup was all there was . . ."  
Kodachi's eyes widened. "The gold fish?" She cried, and looked at the tea-cup spill! "Where is the fish?" She demanded.  
"It uh . . . wasn't in the cup when you threw it at my face, Mistress Kuno." Sasuke said.  
Kodachi stared at him for a moment, then grabbed her own throat, "How dare you?" She screamed!  
"I-I'm sorry ma'am!" Sasuke cried.  
Kodachi cooled instantly. "So . . . where is my dear yet simple minded brother?"  
"He is out, participating in lady Harume's dastardly plot to seize the affections of Nabiki Tendo." Sasuke reported.  
Kodachi chuckled. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, poor simple brother." Kodachi leaned back in her chair. She tapped her chin. "I do believe I will give him . . . a helping hand." She decided.

Maro sprang out, and threw his arm out, grabbing Hibiki's fiancee in a headlock and lightly waving his fan of illusions into her face, he didn't need to make a scene, didn't want to drop fifty people. Just this girl.  
"Let me guess, you're the legendary super hero, Geisha Man." Nabiki sighed. "Get off me you freak!" She snapped, seemingly immune to the illusion. Maro cursed, obviously this girl was smarter than Hibiki.  
But it didn't matter, he had more tricks up his sleeve, he pulled a grenade from his coat, tore the pin out of it and handed it to her.  
"If you drop that, it'll go off." He warned her.  
She casually tossed it to the floor in front of them. Maro stared at her for a moment, what the heck was her problem?  
"If it were real you'd have thrown me onto it and run off." Nabiki explained, "It's a fake."  
"Fine, so you're smarter than your boyfriend," Maro scowled, "but I will not be denied!"  
"Look pal, a slug is smarter than Kuno-baby, and maybe it'd be easier for you not to be denied if you just came out and said what it is that you want, rather than waving some fan in my face."  
Maro took a moment to consider what she'd said . . . "All right, then here's how it works, you're going to come with me, and I am going to use you as bait to lure your lover into a trap and kill him, I am however willing to allow you to live if you cooperate."  
Nabiki scoffed. "What do you need to lure him out for? He's right there and he'll challenge anyone!" She pointed towards some guy whose outfit was even dumber than Maro's, he held a wooden sword and kept running his fingers through his hair.  
Maro blinked. "Are you Nabiki Tendo?" He demanded.  
"One and only." Nabiki sighed.  
"Are you not engaged to Ryoga Hibiki?" Maro demanded.  
"Oh him?" Nabiki laughed, "No, see we broke up this morning."  
Maro frowned. "You did what? Why? How did this happen? If your love cannot survive long enough for me to use you in a hostage situation, then what love can? How in the world am I to kill Ryoga Hibiki and be inducted into the order of the Nekekami assassins? Huh? Huh! Tell me! Tell mmmeeee!" Maro ranted, still holding Nabiki.  
"Well . . ." Nabiki sighed.

_Earlier that morning . . ._  
"Ryoga," Nabiki said, "as you know I wanted to talk to you about something very important . . ."  
"Right." Ryoga nodded, he seemed unusually interested in a cobweb on the window.  
"Ryoga, darling . . . I've made a decision." Nabiki said. "I'm getting breast implants."  
Ryoga forgot the cobweb in an instant, "What's that? Your going to invest in plants? Great idea, the stock market is booming and plant shares are going up, up, up!"  
"You know what I said." Nabiki said coolly.  
Ryoga laughed, "Of course I did, you want to invest, great idea I said, great idea!"  
Nabiki sighed, and pointed to her breast, "These," she explained, "will be bigger."  
"I don't think so, you're eighteen, you must've stopped growing by now." Ryoga observed.  
"Ryoga!" Nabiki yelled frustrated that he'd act like such an idiot! "I need bigger breasts, that's that, end of story, I thought you should know, because you're paying for it!"  
"I'm what now?" Ryoga choked.  
"Get a job, rob a bank, marry a billionaire's daughterand murder her, I don't care how, just get the money!" Nabiki cried.  
Ryoga frowned. "Nabiki . . . you don't need breast implants." He said, finally ready, it seemed to grow up and join this grown up conversation, so Nabiki's temper cooled a bit. "Now investing in plants, now that's what you need to be doing!" Ryoga cried suddenly, back to denial, and Nabiki was back to being really pissed off.  
She shook her head from side to side rapidly, "I need them, never mind why!"  
"Why?" Ryoga snapped suddenly, "What is it that you need these for? No college in the world makes breast implantation a required course! Or is this extra curricular?"  
"Y'know as my fiancee you stand to benefit the most from this!" Nabiki scowled.  
"They're fine, you're fine, who the heck told you they had to be bigger?" Ryoga demanded.  
Nabiki scowled at him, how dare he choose now to develop a backbone! "I lost my job to Nodoka because these stupid things are too small!"  
"Too small?" Ryoga demanded, "Job lost to Nodoka? What job was this?"  
"None of your business." Nabiki hissed.  
Ryoga sighed. "It requires breast implants, meaning there will be a lot of emphasis on your bust size, and you lost it to Nodoka, who has displayed no skill whatsoever aside from being a terribly dangerous person, an obsession with Ranma's manliness, and the fact that she's a freakin' who--" Ryoga didn't even finish the last word, but Nabiki could guess what it would have been. She could also see by the expression on her lover's face that he'd just drawn a conclusion and it was probably the right one.  
"I . . . uh . . . I wont do it." Ryoga said firmly, "I wont pay for you to mutilate yourself. I think you're beautiful enough as it is, but I guess I'm not the one you're trying to impress anymore, am I?" He turned away, "How did you think I'd react to this?"  
"To what?" Nabiki scowled, "You're making blind assumptions, aren't you?"  
Ryoga glared at her, "So tell me I'm wrong."  
"You're uh . . . well tell me what you're assuming, then I'll tell you if you're wrong." Nabiki hesitated.  
"Just tell me I'm wrong." Ryoga said, almost pleading.  
Nabiki exploded, how dare he assume that just because they were going to be married he had any say in her life? "Fine!" She screamed, "I wanted to be a porn star? Happy? Gosh it's not such a big deal y'know?"  
"I guess not." Ryoga shrugged. "You're always right, aren't you?" He clenched his fists by his side, "I guess I'm too stupid to see the bigger picture here, but it seems to me like you're planning to make a quick buck by showing off your body and having sex with other guys, all while expecting me to say 'great idea, thumbs up' or something like that? Gosh I must be really stupid to think that sounds like a really bad idea."  
"Must be." Nabiki nodded. Then, not so wisely she scoffed, "Just forget it, I should have known better than to come to you anyway. As if you could ever support me financially, you who has no job and wouldn't have the sense of direction necessary to get to work every day even if you did! I bet I can get Kuno-baby to pay for them."  
Nabiki wasn't sure if she's said that to hurt Ryoga, or if she'd said it to change his mind through reverse psychology, the look on his face suggested she'd done the former. "So get him to pay for it. While you're at it, you might as well marry him so he can pay for all the other surgeries you'll be wanting, you know your lips could be fuller."  
"I don't want to marry him." Nabiki snapped, "I'm supposed to be marrying you!"  
"Yeah? Well I wont hold you to that obligation."  
"Obligation? I--"  
"Should shut up." Ryoga scowled, "I cant stand the sound of your voice right now! I cant stand the sound of my own voice right now! I cant believe I thought you, emotionless, money loving Nabiki could ever see me as more than just an instrument, a tool, I guess I really am as stupid as Ranma says!"  
"Ranma's a jerk, you're not stupid!" Nabiki snapped.  
"That's right." Ryoga nodded, "A stupid person would still be in love with you."

"Idiot!" Maro scoffed.  
"Isn't he though?" Nabiki scowled, angry at the renewed memory, even if certain details had been modified for effect, in retrospect Nabiki realized that the events hadn't been too far off from what she'd detailed.  
"Not him! You! If they were any bigger you'd look ridiculous! Now you've ruined your chance at having Ryoga for a husband and my chances at using you as a hostage!" Maro raged, people were staring now and Kuno was fast approaching.  
Maro was fuming, this girl had let vanity ruin his chances to kill Lo-Chun! "No!" He snapped, "It's not lost, I can still win . . ." He grinned, "I wonder, if perhaps Ryoga still has feelings for you."  
"He doesn't!" Nabiki protested, "I told you he--"  
"Perhaps, but I guess you'll just have to pray to your false deity that that is not the case." Maro sneered, then he turned his fan to the entire crowd and dropped them all, then like lightning he put it away and drew a knife, which he pressed against Nabiki's throat. He saw one person standing alone in the crowd, one person whose mind had not been affected by the illusions he'd produced.  
He couldn't know that that was only because Kasumi's life was hell enough, illusions of torment were simply too good to be true and so she'd dismissed them.  
Maro pressed his knife closer to Nabiki's throat, "Tell Ryoga to meet me at the Furinkan high school's gymnasium, he has until dawn!"  
Kasumi frowned at him. "I uh . . . I want to . . . but . . ."  
Maro's eyes went wild, he released Nabiki and rushed over to Kasumi, "But what?" He demanded, and started waving his hands in the air as he began to rant, "You don't care about your sister's safety then? Oh well you're just like all of them aren't you? Leaving her to die in my clutches, no doubt so you can start breeding with her husband, oh yes you people are all driven by your carnal desires, you--"  
"I want to tell Ryoga to meet you," Kasumi explained, "but . . . well who are you?"  
Maro grinned and closed his eyes, "Why me? I am . . . the great assassin Maro of the Nekekami order of Japan, fear us not for we are the powerful support beams that ensures the dominance of the Japanese people!"  
"You're holding my sister hostage." Kasumi pointed out.  
"Well she can fear us!" Maro granted, "But so long as you do your part to make Japan a better place, and clean up litter, you've not a thing to fear!"  
Kasumi clapped at his performance, and Maro felt annoyed, he was being serious! He stood up and glared at her, "Do we understand each other?" He demanded.  
"Certainly, I will tell Ryoga-kun to meet you at the Furinkan high school gym before dawn . . . but . . ." The beautiful but apparently dim witted young woman trailed off.  
"But what?" Maro roared.  
"In all your blustering, and super hero poses, it would seem my sister escaped." Kasumi said innocently.  
Maro's eyes shot wide open and he looked back to Nabiki who was indeed gone! He hopped around in all directions, rather than simply turning, and kept twisting his head to see where she might have gone! He turned to her older sister who had also begun to back away and recognized her deception for what it had been!  
Still, she was the only one he could trust for some reason, he wasn't sure how he'd reached that conclusion but it was the one he'd reached. "Which way did she go? Which way did she go?" He demanded.  
"She went that'a way!" Kasumi said, pointing towards the girl's bathroom, and Maro charged in to find that surprisingly Nabiki was not there . . .  
Or was she?  
He searched the bottoms of the stalls, but saw no legs, he growled impatiently and stormed out, but now Kasumi was gone too.  
"Clever," he said, "Quite clever, oh Tendo sisters, but your deceit and trickery and tomfoolery end here, for once I capture you I shall have my way with you, and then kill Ryoga!" Maro said, then realized how that sounded. "Uh . . . by 'have my way with you' I mean I'm going to slowly kill you . . . I'm not into that sexual stuff."  
"No wonder you're so grouchy!" He heard Nabiki shout from somewhere, followed by Kasumi yelping "Don't talk! He'll hear you!"  
"Ah my worthy ventriloquist advesaries!" Maro laughed, knowing full well to go in the opposite direction of the sisters' voices, since they were ventriloquists.  
How he had come to the conclusion that they were ventriloquists was a long, long story involving many assumptions about the sisters, including the assumption that they were twins with psychic powers, but sadly very few facts were involved, so as Maro tried to hunt the sisters down by going in the opposite direction their voices had come from he was indeed only helping them to escape.

Nabiki and Kasumi might well have eluded the somewhat . . . well okay, the EXTREMELY stupid would be assassin, however at just that moment an ominous "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" was heard! Kodachi Kuno appeared, laughing maniacally.  
She'd planned to show up at this party and try to force Nabiki into liking Tatewaki with some naughty little drugs she'd packed, but her arrival showed her a better way to accomplish her goal, for she arrived just in time to watch the Nekekami aspirant lay low the entire audience with his illusions.  
Illusions which did not work of Kodachi, who was far too twisted to believe in them. For her, illusions, like reality were simply something to change and bend to her will, that was why, even though darling Ranma didn't love her and she knew it, she pursued him anyway, in the end it simply wouldn't matter.  
She now laid eyes on Maro, foolishly running in the wrong direction, and revealed herself to him, leaping out form behind the bushes and taking only an instant to correct her appearance before grabbing the idiotic young man by the collar of his jacket and violently slapping him across the face. "Stupid, stupid boy!" She cried, "Nabiki Tendo, while indeed an expert at using her mouth to manipulate people, cannot throw her voice, you nincompoop, you fool, you not so smart person you!"  
"Enough of your insults, your breath smells like fish!" Maro cried.  
Kodachi's eyes went wild and she slapped Maro twice more, "Fool! You must turn around, see there is Nabiki Tendo and her meddling sister!"  
Maro raised a suspicious eyebrow at Kodachi, "Who are you?" He demanded.  
"A friend, stupid one, a friend." Kodachi assured him . . . then she slapped him again.  
"Some friend!" Maro scoffed, Kodachi slapped him once more, and he turned and ran back into the building, and grabbed Kasumi, holding a knife to her throat.  
"Stand still or I'll kill Nabiki Tendo right now and . . ." Maro paused and saw that Nabiki Tendo was standing in front of him . . . he reexamined the terrified young woman in his grasp, seemed to consider the situation for a moment, then sighed. "I mean stand still or I'll kill . . . excuse me, who are you again?"  
"K-Kasumi!" The young woman whimpered.  
"Ah, the sister! I see. Well then, Nabiki you will surrender yourself to me or I will kill your sister!"  
"All right." Nabiki sighed grimly,. "I'll go if you leave Kasumi out of thi--"  
Without an instant's hesitation Maro shoved a frightened Kasumi away and lunged for Nabiki, grabbing her and putting his knife to her neck now, "Now I have Nabiki Tendo! And you, none of your monkey business, you will tell Ryoga Hibiki to meet me, Maro of the Nekekami at Furinkan High School's gymnasium before dawn, or his lover's head will be separated from her body . . . which will probably kill her."  
The terrified Kasumi nodded dumbly, and Maro ran off. Now Kodachi stumbled into the Koruda dojo, clutching at an imaginary wound, "I held him off, as long as I could, but alas, he hath stabbed me in the lung and my time draws short!" She gasped.  
Kasumi rushed over to Kodachi, but the younger woman shouted out, "Stay back! It is contagious!"  
"Contagious?" Kasumi seemed confused.  
"No time for that now," Kodachi said, "You must deliver his message to Ryoga! Go and find him, he could be Nabiki Tendo's only hope!"  
The understandably shaken Kasumi didn't argue, instead looked nervously down a hole in the ground, and Kodachi--on impulse--shoved her down without warning. She was certain that everything would sort itself out in the end.  
Kodachi snickered and strolled over to her brother, who was sleeping quite peacefully. She produced a bucket of cold water--never you mind where from--and splashed him with it, causing him to wake suddenly and look terribly disappointed.  
"You were gripped by a terrible illusionary attack brother dear!"  
Kuno scratched his head and nodded dumbly. Kodachi slapped him too, then shook him, then slapped him!  
"A terrible assassin has kidnapped your beloved Nabiki Tendo and taken her to the Furinkan High School gymnasium, there she awaits your rescue, but you've only until dawn, or she will be slain!"  
Tatewaki's dumb expression evaporated there, and he became all business, drawing his sword he stood up tall and said, "I will rescue Nabiki Tendo from the clutches of this assassin! It is the skinny one, is it not?" He added.  
"No, this one fights with fans." Kodachi said.  
"Oh-ho! Then he shall fall easy prey to Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno!" Kuno cried, and ran off. Kodachi snickered to herself, that would help her brother greatly!

Ranma knew he should be feeling nervous, uneasy, but that just wasn't the case. This Jun character, he was going to beat him, it was that simple! He had to be brought to justice after all, and since he meant to kill Ranma, it'd only be that much more impressive once Ranma won without resorting to lethal force. Sometimes Ranma amazed even himself with his incredibly cool . . . coolness.  
Anzu certainly seemed nervous, he'd have to protect her no doubt adding to the coolness of his victory, man he was cool!  
Cooler than cool!  
"Will you stop giggling to yourself?" Anzu hissed, "It's creepy!"  
"I ain't giggling to myself ya up tight power ranger wannabe!"  
"Well if you're not giggling, stopping shouldn't be a problem!" Anzu shot back!  
"Well if I ain't giggling, and I ain't, then how can I stop, on account of I ain't even doing it? I'd have t'start so I could stop!"  
"Can you just shut up? Y'know, just not talk please? Can you do that for me?" Anzu asked wearily.  
"Bite me." Ranma scoffed.  
He thought to himself, about how sorry Anzu would be, how she'd get down on all fours, like the dog she was, and beg for his autograph or something! Oh she'd be sorry all right, once Ranma dazzled her with his incredible martial arts and showed her that nobody was as good as he was!  
"Stop giggling!" Anzu snapped, Ranma jumped back a pace.  
"I wasn't!" He protested, he really wasn't!  
"Whatever! Just stop!" Anzu cried.  
Ranma stopped thinking about how great he was . . . or tried to, but it was so hard . . .  
With a start he realized that this was going beyond his normal, healthy narcissism, he never spent this much time thinking about himself!

Having soundly defeated Mousse, Ryoga Hibiki, or rather, P-chan, went about planning his next move . . . finding some way of returning to normal somewhere where the cameras wouldn't see him. That was what was important after all, being human again.  
He wondered if his defeat of Mousse the duck would count, he guessed that Mr. Tendo would probably find some way to make sure it did, more for his own sake than Ryoga's, but the young martial artist didn't care about that, he just wanted to win this tournament!  
He had too, if he wanted to stay with Nabiki . . .  
But how to transform back? Certainly in his porcine form Hibiki had no chance of victory, especially if he ran into anyone who even came close to Mousse in skill, it had been Ryoga's good fortune after all, that Mousse had been transformed into a duck.  
Of course neither of them would have had to transform if that half crazed, half moronic amazon, who incidentally was not all that tall, hadn't whipped out the cold water!  
If that long haired pretty boy had ruined Ryoga's chances at a tournament victory he'd make him pay for it dearly! Man or pig, Ryoga's fury and righteous vengeance would know no bounds! He might even go as far as writing Mousse an angry letter, or perhaps sending him a complimentary fruits basket, and include apples, which Mousse hated, just to properly illustrate his fury!  
Wait, did Mousse hate apples, or was that Ukyo? Did either of them hate apples? He might be thinking about something else entirely.  
"I don't care how good looking ya are, yer evil!" A voice shouted, and for a moment Ryoga mistook it for Ranma's because of the accent, but alas the voice was more feminine than Ranma's, and less so than Ranko's.  
Sure enough, the person to come running across was that wimpy girl whose name Ryoga had already forgotten.  
She didn't seem to be being followed by anyone . . . Ryoga sort of scratched his piglet head, or tried to but it was difficult, and by the time he managed it, what's her face screamed and tripped over him! He was upset at first, and she seemed annoyed too, then Tofu's chain saw flew over head, just inches away from the girl's prone form, falling over had likely saved her life! Her way of showing gratitude was to remain on the ground, crushing little P-Chan with her leg which, while shapely, was quite heavy for such a small piggy.  
"You cannot evade my Tofu Strike forever, though you put up a valiant effort!" Dr. Tofu cried as the chainsaw, to Ryoga's surprise, turned around and zoomed back to him like a boomerang.  
"Yer freakin' loony man!" The girl screamed, then seemed to notice Ryoga, who had begun to nibble on her shin in self defense. "Anzu says she's got problems, and I used t'think my boss was a nitwit, but you're--"  
She was cut off by Tofu's shout of "Tofu Vortex!" and the kind doctor, who seemed less kind by the minute, lunged forward, chainsaw leading!  
"I cant die yet, I haven't made up for, and have no foreseeable intention to make up for all those sins I've committed!" Tomoko screamed, holding P-Chan up in front of her, then apparently deciding that he was too cute to die tried to shield him with her body, thought better of it almost instantly, used him as a shield again, then decided just to get up and run.  
In all that time, Ryoga found it odd that Tofu hadn't closed the distance between them and annihilated the Koruda fighter, but then he realized . . . Tofu had stopped, and seemed to be . . . constipated or something.  
Tomoko however knew what he was doing, Tomoko was a great fan of animes and mangas that involved martial arts fighting, and as Tofu began to grunt, groan and look overall, very much like he was having problems with 'number two', Tomoko gasped and said, "My word, he's actually trying to power up!"  
Ryoga looked at her incredulously, Tofu wasn't that crazy!  
"Tofu Acaram!" Tofu screamed, lunged, waving the chainsaw wildly  
"The what the frick with who the fug?" Tomoko blinked at the stupid and unusual name, then Tofu came dangerously close to hitting Ryoga, who decided to bite Tomoko on the wrist, launching the girl into a sprit down the hallways, "Why me? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?" She demanded, and Ryoga's thoughts were something similar.  
She held him to her impressive buxom, and Ryoga tried to ignore it, but soon Tomoko was running for dear life, and the piglet clutched to her chest had a bloody nose, resulting in the both of them being covered in blood, which seemed to terrify the teenage martial artist (naturally Ryoga couldn't imagine why) and give Tofu some sort of weird power.  
At least he said it did.  
And suddenly the screaming, the chase, the fear, the torment all ended . . .  
Tomoko, running for dear life bumped into another young woman, one holding a large spatula who proceeded to shout something to the effect of "your mother sleeps with" but Ryoga didn't hear the rest because Ukyo caught sight of Tofu, and Tofu screamed, "Hold her down, that I might collect the munnies and magic bubbles that escape her rotting corpse!"  
"Doctor?" Kasumi gasped.  
Ryoga could have sworn Tofu's entire body peeled away like a banana, leaving the soft, white, somewhat foul tasting fruit beneath, only in this case the banana was Tofu. He fell to one knee, and patted Tomoko and Ukyo off, examined Ryoga and deemed his nose bleed something less than mortal, finally stood up and said, "Oh Kasumi, didn't see you there!"  
Kasumi blushed slightly, and Ryoga did wonder what the heck she saw in that guy, but decided if it kept him from throwing a chainsaw around, then so much the better. Maybe they'd get married and Tofu would be sane again!  
Kasumi saw him, and Ukyo shook her head angrily, and picked Ryoga up by the bandanna, "C'mon sugar, this is no time to use your 'special gift' to snuggle up to some hussies rack."  
"What the frick?" Tomoko demanded, "What did you call me?"  
"We got trouble!" Ukyo explained, casually backhanding the annoying Koruda fighter, Ryoga found it oddly sexy to see Ukyo backhanding people . . . maybe there was something wrong with him . . .

Tomoko sat quietly, trying to absorb the situation, but not doing well, she got sort of distracted when the girl who hit her produced some hot water and poured it all over the bleeding piglet, using that magic trick the older girl used before to transform the pig into a boy.  
Tomoko listened as it was explained that someone named Maro had someone named Nabiki and was going to hold her hostage if someone named Ryoga, Tomoko assumed that was the boy now hiding behind the battle spatula, as he adorned himself in the minimal clothing, a scarf, that Kasumi had provided . . .  
Tomoko had already been hit on the head for trying to peek behind the spatula, she wondered if there was something going on between spatula girl and this Ryoga guy.  
When Ryoga finally came out, wearing a sort of scarf loin cloth and looking utterly annoyed, miserable and embarrassed the girl known as Kasumi lunged forward, throwing her arms around him and weeping, this seemed to disappoint Tofu and Tomoko took a step away from the chainsaw man.  
"You have to save Nabiki! You have to get her back!" Kasumi wept, and Ryoga nodded.  
"Fear not! I, Ryoga Hibiki will not back down from this challenge, I will not bow to this scum, if he wants to pick on some one, he can pick on me! And if he's put so much as a scratch on Nabiki, he'd better find religion, and fast, because nothing, short of divine intervention is going to stop me from flaying him alive!"  
"Very impressive." Tofu nodded.  
"Inspiring in it's way." Ukyo agreed.  
"Magnificent resolve!" Kasumi wept.  
"And a waste of like three minutes." Tomoko pointed out.  
They all stared at her.  
"Well it was!" She said defensively.  
She got backhanded again, but they didn't seem keen on justifying her statement with anything other than that.  
"All right, let's find our way out of this maze, and then get to the Furinkan gym!"  
"Were with you!" Ukyo said, pointing to herself with one hand, and waving towards Tomoko and Tofu with the other.  
"We?" Tomoko frowned, "But look at me! I ain't got my own cloths even, and I am so not going to be seen looking like this!"  
"A life is on the line, my sister could die!" Kasumi snapped.  
"I ain't met'er." Tomoko scoffed, but did try to imagine how she'd feel in these freakish people's position, so she nodded and said, "I'll do it, but it just seems t'me like were asking fer trouble if we go running inta battle with me in a suit with a blown up front end, and this guy here in underwear!"  
"She's right, we need to find my cloths." Ryoga said. "They should be near Mousse . . . or what's left of him." Ryoga said.  
"Well, it's an adventure!" Tofu decided, "Together, we four warriors, and . . . ahem . . . K-K-Kasumi, will rescue Nabiki, I should have Jerome Grasshopper record this in the journal, in case I forget later and need a reminder."  
Everyone sort of stared at him, then decided there were more important things to worry about and set off, making sure to stay together as they sought out the exit, or at least Ryoga's cloths.

Jun grinned wickedly at Ranma, but of course the young man couldn't see him. Anzu couldn't see him.  
Just the way Jun, a real assassin, liked his victims.  
Maro might enjoy an indiscriminate explosion that doomed several, maybe even dozens of people at a time, and that was fine as long as Jun wasn't one of them, but Jun preferred to get his job done properly and with as little actual mess as possible.  
As he lay in wait, ready to ambush Ranma and Anzu at the exit of the underground maze, it occurred to him that it would be so incredibly easy to simply shoot them both. To end it now.  
But he had to make one last attempt to wake Ranma! One last effort to reach the sleeping powers within the boy!  
Instead he set his sights on Anzu . . .  
They passed under him, "Look, all I'm sayin' is, if you were as cool as me, you'd be giggling too . . . which I wasn't doin' anyway, 'cause I don't giggle like some pansy!" Ranma was saying, and Anzu's reply was something to the effect of "I don't care whether you're giggling or not, we stopped having this conversation like ten minutes ago, don't you know how to drop something? How old are you?"  
Jun was not really sure what brought that on, but knew he didn't care either, so he sneered and lunged out from his hiding place, behind one of the many exit signs, gun in hand ready to grab Anzu!  
Only to find Ranma's fist waiting to greet him! He felt a terrible pain run through his body then, and felt blood stream from his nose.  
He glared at Ranma, a clever boy indeed.  
"I know how cool I am, and I know how conceited I can seem," Ranma explained, "but I know when I cant control thoughts of how cool I am, someone is messin' with my brain. I figured it was you." He sneered.  
"What are you talking about?" Jun wanted to ask, but didn't. He'd done nothing to Ranma's brain! Still, if Ranma believed him capable of more than he truly was . . . what was the harm?  
Instead Jun backed off a step and gave Saotome a slight bow, then drawing a gun in each hand pointed, aimed, and fired in less than a second.  
More than enough time for Ranma to react and launch a dozen blows towards Jun, who was helpless to parry them.  
The seventeen year old martial artist came on with an abandon that would have been simply reckless for anyone of lesser speed, and Jun was surprised to find that while he was indeed pleased with the performance, Saotome's martial arts skills weren't the subject in question, Jun already knew Ranma was good.  
What worried Jun though, was the second thoughts he was beginning to have. Maybe he was foolish, if Ranma's power was what Jun suspected then surely Jun was simply being presumptuous to assume that he could awaken it, especially if that power chose not to wake! Worse, if the power was already awake Jun was tangling with something by far superior to anything he had ever known, anything anyone in his guild could hope to deal with!  
For an instant, Jun was afraid of the mere youth that scored blow after blow on him.  
But it was fleeting, Nekekami did not fear death, and indeed that was not what Jun was afraid of really, or so he told himself. A Nekekami was a child of death, already dead and therefore unkillable, this he had to believe in his brief moment of weakness.  
Soon enough Ranma's blows stopped and the young martial artist offered a friendly face, "That was for stabbin' Anzu over there. Now come quietly, or I'll have to give you s'more."  
"Come along quietly?" Jun sneered. "How ridiculous. No my good Saotome, it is you who should come quietly, or poor Anzu there wont live to see the end of her second decade."  
Ranma laughed softly. "What d'ya think yer gonna do? Bleed on her?"  
Jun just grinned, and attacked!

Anzu had only just heard Ranma say something about his brains when she turned around, in mere seconds that probably felt like minutes or even hours to poor Jun, Anzu saw Ranma thoroughly beat the assassin.  
They shared some typical, pig headed male dialogue about how cool they were, and how poor Anzu, who was quite certain she could take the both of them . . . now that they were tired, was weak and helpless.  
Then Jun grinned, and suddenly he was coming for her!  
Anzu had two seconds, long enough for her mind, working at warp speed to recognize her options were fight or flight, and it was "fight" that she chose, preparing herself for the attack.  
And soon she wished she had chosen "flight", for Jun lunged at her, kicked her in the knee so hard that she toppled over and feared the joint broken, a drop kick to her back sent the girl sprawling on the floor.  
She felt Jun pick her up by her hair just in time to sample a countering kick from Ranma, one she suspected was launched with the intention of helping her, not hurting her.  
Jun now held a gun to her head, and Ranma seemed less eager to fight.  
"Let her go." Ranma said crossly, "This ain't no martial arts."  
"This isn't about martial arts, it never was, how can one so gifted be so dimwitted?" Jun demanded, pressing the cold gun to her head, Anzu felt herself begin to shake.  
Which she thought odd, since she wasn't really frightened . . .  
Jun was shaking too, and suddenly Anzu realized that Ranma was too! Everything seemed to be shaking!  
Just then the exit door exploded from behind them, along with a bit of the wall, there was a loud bellowing sound that Anzu had never heard the likes of before!  
The door came off it's hinges and knocked Jun in the back, he and Anzu went down beneath it. Jun might have easily knocked the door away, but there came a thud, someone had jumped onto the door, making that somewhat more difficult. Anzu twisted her neck to see a young woman dressed all in black holding a pair of long knives, her eyes shining a most unusual gold in the darkness, a dark and evil smile on her face.  
"Nihau Ranma!" A blue haired, big breasted bimbo cried, sitting on the back of a moose that was, to be fully honest, the biggest living thing Anzu had ever seen, and if you don't think that's saying something, you've never met Anzu's great aunt Mori.  
"We meet again, Master Koruda." The silvery haired youth standing on the door and crushing Jun and Anzu said coolly, it took the girl a moment to realize the knife wielder was talking to Jun, and not her.  
"Han, how good of you to come." Jun sneered.  
"I would not miss this for a guild master's ransom, preparer to die a traitor's death, Master!" Han sneered, adding a terrible amount of sarcasm into the title of "master" and for just a moment, with that golden gleam in her eyes, Anzu really believed she might just be a match for Jun!  
"Stop acting so cool, Shampoo and Moose the ones who break down door while you hide behind tree like sissy!" The bimbo, Shampoo presumably, shouted from atop the moose whom Anzu guessed was probably called Moose.  
That remark made Ranma laugh, despite the situation, and stole the golden gleam from Lotion's eyes, changing them to a more normal green. She smiled sheepishly and said, "Yes, well naturally I wanted to . . . I was . . . meditating. Meditating on the situation." The girl said, and Anzu was no longer convinced she was a match for anything.  
"Oh come off it, you were hidin' until it was safe!" Ranma jeered.  
"Oh do shut up, we came here to rescue you from certain doom and this is how you repay us?" Han scoffed.  
"Did you know you're crushing me too?" Anzu asked.  
"You are?" Han scoffed, and didn't really sound as if she cared all that much.  
"Certain doom? This guy?" Ranma interjected, bringing the conversation back to something relevant to himself. "I had 'im beat 'till you ruined it."  
Han seemed surprised, obviously she, like Anzu had thought Jun a terrible and powerful force. Indeed that was what Anzu's father had always said about her uncle Jun.  
Han looked down at Jun, who just shrugged, or tried to. "I am rather busy here. I hope your reason for interrupting me is a valid one." Jun said.  
Han seemed quite frightened then, and it was contagious because Anzu began to feel nervous as well. The young Chinese girl stammered, then said, "I know what you think they are, and they arent! I know what you want to do to them, and you musnt! I-I . . . I couldn't let you! These ones . . . not these ones, they . . . they love me!"  
"Nobody loves you. You're an Unusual. At best you're feared but loved? Oh no, not you." Jun spoke the words as if he'd recited them many times before and Anzu realized he had when she noticed Han mouthing along. "The only love you can ever know is the love of the guild, remember? But now, in standing against me you turn your back on that one and only love." Jun smiled, his eyes darkening.  
"I know you, trained you myself. I respect your ability, you are an excellent assassin, the perfect murderer. And so I will offer you a second chance, something I grant to so very, very few. You will stand down, or stand beside me, otherwise you might discover that you have lost your ability to stand at all."  
Han scowled, "For my beloved family . . . I would gladly die." Han said. Jun smiled, thinking that she meant their guild, until she pressed her foot against his head. "Too bad you're not part of it any more!" Han hissed, and Anzu felt her lift her weight from the door, to the master assassin's head!  
"Lotion!" Ranma yelped, "Don't!"  
"It's for the best." Lotion said darkly. "One last time . . . I'll be the evil one this last time."  
"Indeed." Jun grunted as Lotion put more and more pressure against his skull, then to Anzu's horror she realized something terrible.  
More terrible that is, than the fact that her uncle's head was being stepped on of course.  
The realization was that Lotion was all too quickly throwing her weight off the door! Jun obviously realized it too because he threw it up into the air before the Chinese youth could finish crushing his skull, throwing her off balance, and off of Jun!  
Anzu thought quickly, and reaching out she grabbed Jun, held him and looked to Ranma for support, he came on quickly, jumping onto Jun, soon enough everyone was piling up on the assassin, someone shouted, "Tie his hands! Tie his hands!" Anzu felt Jun hit her in the side, Ranma grunted.  
When the proverbial dust settled Shampoo, Anzu and Lotion stood back proudly as they admired their work, Ranma Saotome perfectly tied and bound.  
Anzu allowed the glow of a job well done to sink in for a moment more, then realized, to her horror that Ranma wasn't the one they were supposed to tie, Jun was, and now the assassin was nowhere to be found!

Jun felt Anzu grab him and fought every urge to break her neck. Saotome leapt onto him, trying to hold him, and he felt the busty Chinese girl jump on him, followed by Han herself. It was like his college days, only this was no orgy of affection. In his current position there was little hope of him getting up and free.  
Then he noticed something, a gleam in his former apprentice's eyes.  
She jabbed Anzu in the side, which made her let go, Shampoo was still holding on to Jun's coat, which he simply slipped out of, letting her have it, he shoved it over Ranma and rolled out of the fray.  
He had escaped! And to his surprise, the beating continued . . . on Ranma, who was wrapped up in Jun's coat and therefore, as far as the girls seemed concerned, was Jun.  
Jun sneered, "Tie his hands! Tie his hands!" He shouted, just to be mean, then he ran like the dickens.  
Whatever "the dickens" is.  
He decided then that perhaps there was some hope for Han, perhaps she had not truly turned on him, after all her attempt to crush his head had been ridiculously half hearted. There was no point in trying to wake Ranma again, not just now anyway. If Han could get close enough to him, Jun was sure, she could lull him into a false sense of security and eventually do the waking herself, under Jun's instruction of course.  
This would still be his find, his glory, his power!  
He thought for a moment about what his next course should be, and decided that he might as well do away with Maro while he had the chance, now that Han was here it would be easier to convince the elders that he'd been performing a legitimate action.  
Maro's testimony however could easily condemn Jun and his ambitions, the boy had to die.

To Be Continued . . .

Next Time . . .  
Ryoga and Maro fight at last, but all too soon they might just be interrupted by Jun! Can the Ranma crew take on a pair of deadly assassins and win? Is Lotion no longer worthy of trust? Might Happosai of all people provide some unexpected help? Find out next time in Tit for Tat!

**Note: **The Flashback Nabiki described is a _lie_, so dont get ticked off. Ryoga will detail the truth (the whole truth and nothing but the truth) in the next chapter. Also, in regards to the person meant to die, it simply made things run too long, and so their death occurs in the next chapter. It's really not who you think! At least I think it isnt . . . hmm . . .


	13. Tit for Tat

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is the property of someone who is not myself. The story line plot, as well as any characters not from Ranma 1/2 are my own creations, and are not based on real places, events, or persons living or dead.

Note: It's nice to know people are still reading, now I feel like more of a jerk for not updating for so long, but if you can live with it I guess I'll learn to do the same. These delays dont come from lack of reviews they come from me not having as much spare time as I'd like, trust me it's not the number of reviewers that matters to me, just that someone is still reading. I think I'd finish the story (eventually) whether I had readers or not though P

* * *

Charlotte's Sequel!  
Chapter XII!  
Tit for Tat!  
Note: We would like to point out that our use of the phrase "tit for tat" has nothing to do with breasts.

* * *

Jun Koruda was a master assassin, capable of great and terrible things. 

But he couldnt hold a _candle_ to the _cruelty_ that** Nabiki Tendo** was capable of.

Even as Jun rushed to slay Maro, Nabiki herself had the situation well in hand.

"You're caught up in science fiction romance. The conditions for life on this planet are so precise that the very idea that there _has_ to be other life forms out there is just one theory, and a poor one." Nabiki shrugged.

"So then, you believe that there is an all powerful, or group of all powerful deities that created life on this one infintismal speck of dirt in the universe?" Maro rolled his eyes.

"Now I will not put my neck so far out as to say that there is one all powerful creator," Nabiki said, "Nor will I dare say there is not. All I'm saying is even if it is just a big waste of space, there's a good chance that we are the only life forms in this universe. If there are other more evolved cultures out there, who's to say they're alive in the same way that we are? Have you ever imagined a sentient virus?"

"No . . . it doesnt seem possible." Maro scoffed.

"And why not? The impossible is constantly being proven possible." Nabiki shrugged. "Sentient life does not have to be confined to humanoid organisms, sentient life could be a virus or a thinking gass, our bodies are mostly water, perhaps a living breathing body of water? Perhaps in the end what we call sentience, some one out there, simply calls stupidity."

"That's just not possible." Maro shook his head.

"For someone who believes in life, you sure dont believe in possible forms of life." Nabiki pointed out, and Maro recoiled as if he'd been lightly slapped . . . with a sledge hammer.

"So true . . ." He whispered. "All this time, I never sat down to consider the various types of life that might exist, might even be self aware, by the powers that be, could a sentient rock exist?"

"Uh . . . sure. Who knows?" Nabiki shrugged. "But just as easily, no life could exist anywhere. This could well be the first, last, and only populated planet in the universe, and even if we have brothers and sisters on distant worlds, what makes you think they could possibly travel the massive distance in any conceivable life time? Unless of course they cant die, in which case be afraid."

"Why so?" Maro asked.

"Because if something cant die, and cant be killed, how would it know that killing is wrong? It simply wouldnt understand the very concept of murder or why it might be against the rules of polite conduct. So it'd kill us all, and you'd never get your wish because you'd know as you die that the thing that killed you cant possibly die. Further, if there were an eternal after life, then your goal would never be accomplished."

Maro fell to the ground, he looked terrified. Nabiki smiled, she felt good.

* * *

Tomoko smiled, "Here'd be the locker rooms." She said, pointing to the two doors. "Here, I can change into something less . . . stupid, while at the same time you could change into something . . . period." 

Ryoga's eye twitched. "We're supposed to find Mousse, and my cloths!" He said, angrily! Who knew how long Nabiki had?

"Yeah, but we found this." Tomoko said simply. "Which would be faster now? Just swiping an outfit from here and looking for the exit, or heading back out there and finding your friend and your clothes, then finding the exit?"

"Fine, we play by your rules." Ryoga scoffed, "But we've got to hurry!"

"I aint the one who made us stop so he could 'level up'!" Tomoko snapped.

"Uh . . . yeah, sorry about that . . . again." Dr. Tofu said sheepishly.

"How do you figure out how many experienced pointers you've got?" Ukyo wondered.

"Well as young Tomoko is eighteen I simply deduced that she was a challenge rank of eighteen, my own level being thirt--er . . . twenty eight," Tofu said, glancing at Kasumi as he lied about his age, "I deduced that she had granted me very little experienced, however because of her magical suit her challenge rank was boosted by fifty, giving me enough experienced pointers to level up."

"Uh . . . okay." Ukyo seemed sorry she'd asked. Ryoga was certainly sorry she'd asked.

"That sounds very complicated doctor." Kasumi said.

'Yeah, so dont ask him to explain it!' Ryoga thought.

"Oh my yes," Tofu said, wiping the fog off of his glasses, Ryoga quietly scoffed, wondering why this guy, who was probably old enough to be his father, didnt just out and tell Kasumi he wanted to get frisky. Instead he acted like a twelve year old working up the nerve to steal a cookie from a much younger cookie jar. "You see . . . all quite complicated, nothing I cant handle . . . hem-hem, I er . . . well the callenge ranks, and the levels, and the experienced pointers . . . I er . . . I thought it all up, yes indeed, deduced it all with my incredible mind!"

"Brilliant!" Kasumi said sweetly. It was obvious that she knew Tofu had stolen it from a children's game, but recognized he was lying to impress her, and apparently thought highly enough of him not to scold or be annoyed with the dishonesty.

Honestly, what was keeping _her_ from telling _him_ to light her fire and buck her wild? Well, whatever, Ryoga decided it was none of his business, and he'd best ignore it.

"Ya aint changed yet?" Tomoko scolded, throwing Ryoga an outfit, "Ya gave me a hard time and yer not even dressed yet?" She shook her head, and Ryoga took a look at her outfit.

She wore black boots with silver buckles that stopped just an inch below her knees, a black leather skirt, and a shirt that Ryoga tried not to see through, she finished the outfit off by throwing a large heavy looking trench coat over herself, and patted herself down as if checking unseen pockets for house keys, and grinning.

"How'd you get changed so quickly?" Ryoga demanded.

"Oh I can get out of and back into cloths faster than any girl you'll ever meet!" Tomoko giggled to herself, then quickly sobered and added, "I er . . . that's because I was shy during PE! Yeah that's the thing . . . really!"

Ryoga looked at the outfit she'd gotten him and found it was a pair of black pants similar enough to his own, and a shirt more similar to Tomoko's. He raised an eyebrow at her, wondering where she'd found these cloths, but she wasnt looking at him so he simply threw them on.

"There was a spiked choker if you're interested." Tomoko added.

"No, no thanks." Ryoga said sourly. "Now we've got to save Nabiki!" He shouted with determination and zeal!

Ukyo nodded, then turning to Tomoko snapped, "Can you lead us out of here from the locker rooms?"  
"Heck yeah!" Tomoko scoffed, she led the way and came almost immediately to a dead end. She scratched the back of her head, and turned to Ukyo and said, "Uh, no. Sorry about that, I always just zone out and follow Anzu."

Ukyo slapped her, which made Ryoga smile despite the situation, Kasumi and Tofu were still flirting with each other in the most indirect way immaginable, and Tomoko was nursing a cheek that was only getting redder and redder every time she annoyed Ukyo.

Finally Ryoga shook his head, he jerked his thumb up at the cameras, "Can they still see us?"

"Ugh!" Tomoko squeaked, probably realising she'd changed in front of a camera, she shook her fist at it and shouted, "You sick old man! You better not have recorded that!"

The camera that watched them didnt seem interested in responding. It just stood there.

Finally Ryoga said, "Hey! Nabiki is in trouble, tell us how to get out of here!"

Ushio's voice came on over a loud speaker, "From where you are take two lefts, a right, go north twice, then south five times, take a left again, twelve rights, after which you go left again, go east now and then go west for the exact distance that you travled east, then go to the right, take twelve lefts, a right, north five times, south twice, a left, and two rights."

"That'll lead us right back here!" Ukyo snapped.

"It will?" Ryoga asked, trying to make heads or tails of those directions.

"Yes er well . . . " Ushio didnt seem to know what to say.

"Just point the darn cameras in the direction of the exit and we'll follow those!" Ukyo snapped.

"Yes . . . okay . . ." Ushio said and the cameras began to turn.

"Hurry! Hurry! For my little girl!" Soun wailed in the background.

Ryoga clenched a fist and prepared for battle, he stoped off down the halls, ready to destroy this bothersome insect who had dared harm his lover, he'd murder him and desecrate the body in every way he could imagine, he'd rip his genitles off and feed them to a dog, rip out his kidneys and bake them in a pie for the elderly, he'd--

"Why's he going off in the wrong direction? I thought he wanted to save that girlfriend of his!" Tomoko scoffed.

"That's uh . . . just Ryoga for you." Ukyo said. "Uh, hey sugar, over here!"

Ryoga closed his eyes, swallowed the shame swelling up inside him and decided it'd just be one more thing he'd make this Marko person pay for.

Or was it Mario?

* * *

Kasumi followed Ryoga and the actual martial artists out of concern for her sister, but she had no intention of fighting. 

She simply didn't believe she could be of any use once that started, indeed Ukyo and Tomoko might be well advised to simply stay out of Ryoga's way once they found Maro.

She did not say anything however, she simply followed, and felt a strange little grip on her heart as she watched Ryoga follow Ukyo, who was leading the way to Furinkan.

He was as determined as she'd ever seen him, but he was not full of the same sort of eagerness Ranma would have had. He knew this foe was going to be a challenge, and he probably believed he would win, but didnt give in to self praise before the battle was even fought.

The look on his face, further showed that unlike Ranma, challenge or not Ryoga was not looking forward to this, he was too concerned for Nabiki to give in to the pleasures of a rarely found new and real challenge.

Kasumi gave a slight nod of approval, were Ranma in this position he would seek to rescue Nabiki only to prove that he was the best at everything, Ryoga was going because he wanted Nabiki to be rescued, even if they had just broken up. It was a shame, Kasumi felt, that the two had gone their seperate ways, Ryoga would certainly make a fine brother in law.

'Nothing more than that of course!' She quickly told herself, and then was left to wonder why she had so rebuked her own thoughts.

She glanced again at Ryoga and felt that slight squeeze on her heart. It was admiration, nothing else, marching along besides Ukyo, Ryoga looked like a real man, that was all.

She caught up to him and looked into that intense, handsome face. She put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, he looked at her and she, finding that she'd utterly forgotten what it was that she wanted to say to him, simply smiled.

This went on for an uncomfortable length of time, and soon enough confusion began to show on Ryoga's face, an expression as if to say 'did you want something?' without being so rude as to speak the words, came about and Kasumi began to fear that her lasting physical contact might start to send the wrong message.

So she quickly took her arm away, which probably did an even better job of sending the wrong message than leaving it on his shoulder. She just smiled and said, "I'm very proud of what you're doing."

"What do you mean?" Ryoga asked, confused.

"Helping Nabiki . . . after what she did to you." Kasumi said.

Ryoga shrugged. "Oh she's always stacking the odds against me, that way she wins double if I come through, and loses less if I fail."

Kasumi blinked a couple of times, and frowned. "What?"

"You're talking about her pooling the bets on the tournament right?"

"No . . ." Kasumi frowned, "I meant the whole breaking up thing."

"You broke up?" Ukyo perked up at the news, which confused Kasumi because she was so certain Ukyo fancied Ranma!

"Yeh-wait no!" Ryoga seemed as confused as Kasumi! "What are you talking about?" He asked Kasumi.

Kasumi frowned and told Ryoga the story Nabiki told Maro. Ryoga scratched his head. "That's not how it happened! I know she got mad, but she didnt even mention breaking up . . . and I know I didnt . . ."

"So . . . maybe she lied to th' guy holdin' her hostage. Oh! And might I add . . . 'duh'." Tomoko said.

Ryoga glared at her for a moment, then said, "Gosh I dislike you." She wiped an imaginary tear away with her middle finger, and Ukyo slapped her again. Ryoga turned back to Kasumi and said, "Look, uh . . . Nabiki and I are still engaged . . . I think . . ."

"So . . . what happened?" Kasumi asked.

"Uh . . . well actually it's pretty close to what she told you, except totally different." Ryoga said.

_(Shh! Flashback starting now!)_

A Long Time Ago . . . In a Motel Far Far Away . . .

"Ryoga," Nabiki said slowly, "When are you going to marry me?"

"Sometime." Ryoga said, rather pleased with the answer since it was the sort she'd probably have given him.

"Well . . . sometime had better be soon. We really should set a date." Nabiki said in a somewhat scolding tone.

Ryoga frowned at her, "I have to buy you a ring first, dont I?"

"Uh . . . well how long would that take?"

Ryoga scratched his chin, and decided "Sometime after you finish college . . . I think."

Nabiki scoffed, "Kuno-baby would have bought me one by now."

Ryoga shrugged. "Probably. Too bad you're not marrying him." Ryoga said thoughtfully, not meanin it at all by way of accusation.

"I _never_ said I wanted to marry Kuno!" Nabiki exploded, "What the heck are you accusing me of?"

"Uh . . . nothing?" Ryoga asked.

"Well gee, you must be accusing me of something, telling me to marry Kuno!"

"N-no! I was just saying--er I mean if I had that kind of money, and I dont--"

"So get it!" Nabiki snapped, "In fact I demand that you get it!"

Ryoga frowned, "But . . . how'm I going to get the kind of money Kuno has?"

Nabiki scowled at him, "Well if you'd find some way to make money you really wouldnt have a problem would you? Not with me to organize your finaces anyway. You need some sort of income!"

"Well maybe if I--"

"But of course there's nothing you can do huh? You cant even win at martial arts since Ranma enters anything you do, and beats you ten times out of nine!"

"Hey, wait just a minute!" Ryoga protested, but Nabiki was on a roll!

"Heck, the only thing you can do is accuse me of sleeping with Kuno-chan!"

"I didnt--"

"Enough! I dont want to speak to you anymore. Not until you get me a ring, and set a date for our marriage." Nabiki folded her arms and looked away indignantly.

"Uh . . . okay, but I--"

"Be quiet! I said I'm not talking to you!" Nabiki snapped.

"But . . . you just did . . ." Ryoga was almost afraid to point out.

Nabiki blinked a few times, then nodded, "Fine!" She said, "I'll talk to you . . . but until you get me a ring, I'm not going to sleep with you anymore!"

"Well all right then." Ryoga shrugged. "I guess that's proper anyway, since you're not supposed to have sex out of marriage."

"That's a dated belief inspired by men who wanted to be sure their wives would be virgins! Darn it, fine, I'll sleep with you but I wont . . . I wont nibble your ear, how's that? Huh?"

"Uh . . . you dont-" Ryoga was going to point out that Nabiki had never done that anyway, nor would he really care if she stopped, but the glare on her face told him to shut up before she decided to stop doing something really serious.

_(Flashback Ends Now, thanks!)_

"Oh . . . well . . . thats odd . . . why would Nabiki just fly off the handle like that anyway?" Kasumi asked. Ryoga shrugged, and she said "Well I'm sure it wasnt really your fault, I bet this whole Yoshimi ordeal had her nervous, that's all." At least that was Kasumi's hope . . . sort of. For some reason the idea of Ryoga and Nabiki breaking up didnt hurt her as much as she felt it should.

Ryoga spoke a somewhat confused "Thanks" and continued on. Kasumi wondered briefly, if Maro knew what it was he'd signed himself up for in kidnapping Nabiki. She knew that Ryoga still loved her sister, and knew that Ryoga would spare litte mercy for Maro if he harmed her. But she wondered if any of them knew how far Ryoga could be pushed before he snapped, or how far he'd go once that happened.

A strange, small part of Kasumi thought it would be thrilling to find out.

* * *

"It's stupid is what it is!" Maro scoffed, "I mean they arent even alive, so how could they be considered life? They cannot, and therefore how can they name themselves?" 

"Well _my _ballonga has a first name." Nabiki teased.

"And even if I were a weener, and everyone was in love with me, why would I care? I'd be dead little hunk of meat and they'd eat me!" Maro continued.

"It's okay, you'll always be a little weenie to me." Nabiki assured him.

"I mean it's utterly repulsive what people today think of in a mad attempt to sell a product nobody wants anyway, to a people who are indeed fool enough to believe they want the product they dont want!"

"If they think they want what they dont want, dont they in fact want it?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow.

Maro stared at her for a moment, then began to scratch his chin. "You are wise . . . if not for my utter hatred of all life in general, I might just have allowed you to live . . . alas, if Ryoga does not come, I must kill you."

"Well, I'm dead." Nabiki scoffed. "Even if he wanted to save me he'd never get here in time."

"Oh no?" Maro sneered. "I am sure love shall hasten his steps."

"Whatever. It wont matter you nit wit, my Ryoga has the world's second worse sense of direction! His tramp of a mother has the worst . . . because she's a tramp . . . and I hate her." Nabiki scoffed.

"Yes well care to bet your life on that?" Maro sneered.

"What? You mean if I'm right and Ryoga doesnt show up I live, but if I'm wrong and he does show up I die? Isnt that like the opposit of your original terms?"

Maro stared at her for a moment, then shouted "Your reverse psychology wont work on me harlot, I'm too clever for you! Of course I'll kill you if he doesnt show up . . . uh . . . I only meant to uh . . . to trick you, yeah! To trick you into dying whether or not he comes, so there!"

"That would have been clever . . . if I were ten . . . and stupid . . . and I believed at all that that was what you were really trying to do, which I dont because I know you've got more bull in you than a cow in a gang bang."

Maro stared again, which caused Nabiki to wonder if maybe his brain had problems processing information, or if he was simply imagining the world on "pause" while he thought up a witty retort.

"I do not eat beef." He said at last, and Nabiki let it go at that.

* * *

Lotion walked with her hands in her pockets. One pocket contained a vial of poison she'd gotten from Sun Set, and in the other was the souvenire Nabiki had gotten her from her vacation. 

She followed Jun's obvious trail, knowing that he'd left it just for her to notice and follow. He was leading them into a trap, and Lotion was only making it worse by not pointing that out to Ranma and the others.

But it was vitally important, if her plan were to succeed, that Jun catch Ranma completely by surprise, and so she preteneded to find Jun's trail with great dificulty.

"Hey . . . Lo-Chun." Ranma said suddenly, catching her attention not because he'd called her name, but because he'd called her by her _proper_ name!

"What?" She asked, not bothering to look over her shoulder at him.

"I . . . look, I heard what you said to Jun. I guess he's an old buddy of yers?"

"He was my master, my teacher." Lotion nodded.

"And ya turned on 'im because of us . . ." Ranma said. Lotion just nodded. "Well . . . I'm glad ya chose t'side with us." Ranma told her, "And yer right, we do care about you. No matter what you were, or what you did before we met you, yer like a sister t'me now and that's all that matters. Just . . . thought I'd mention it." He said.

Lotion felt a mix of emotions, happiness at his words, and shame because she knew she was going to betray that trust, had already in fact betrayed that trust. For an instant she nearly told Ranma everything, nearly warned him that she was leading them all into what was probably a trap laid by Jun.

But she didnt.

Ranma had said she was like a sister to him. Since she was a little older than him, she supposed that made her his big sister, and she had to do the big sisterly thing now, whether Ranma understood or not.

She forced herself to wear a smile that she thought would fool anyone, and said honestly "Your words make it all worth it."

* * *

"Such a shame we couldnt 'round up the gang." Kasumi noted. 

Ryoga nodded, Akane, or Mousse might have been a great help. He didnt doubt that he could take Maro, especially if he knew that the illusions were illusions, but since Nabiki's life was too important to take any chances with, and while Ukyo and even Tofu and Tomoko were welcome company Ryoga couldnt help but feel, much to the outrage of his inner monsters, that he'd give his left arm to have Ranma with him just then.

_Because you're weak._ His inner voice scoffed at him.

'No I am not!' He mentally scolded himself.

_Weak in heart, body and mind, weak! I need Ranma's help to save Nabiki, if I were any kind of man I'd be able to save her by myself. But I cant even arrive at the highschool on my own! _

'It isn't weakness to know my limitations.' Ryoga thought to himself.

_But it _is_ a weakness to have limitations at all. If I were stronger, and more confident like Ranma, Nabiki would be rescued already!_

'Ranma isnt all that!' Ryoga scoffed in his head.

_Just everything I wish I were._ That inner demon sulked.

Ryoga clenched his fists at his side, 'I will rescue Nabiki! Me, not Ranma! I'll make Maro sorry he ever laid eyes on Nabiki, hell beg me to kill him!'

_And of course I'll be gracious enough to do just that . . . _the inner Ryoga sneered.

'Once I'm done, letting him live would be inhumane, why it'd be down right cruel.' Ryoga smiled darkly.

* * *

As he ran through the park, Jun knew that Ranma and his brain dead crew would follow him right to Maro's hide out, and there he'd easily enough set Maro on them, assuring Maro's death (if he had anything to say about it) and giving him time to escape Ranma and the others until he could think of a better plan. 

He would wake Ranma, he had to! His guild, and more importatnly his life could depend on it!

He ran on, leaving an obvious trail for Lo-Chun to follow when he suddenly heard a familiar voice, and, leaping behind a tree, came upon another group of young adults!

Actually they were mostly teenagers, with someone in his late twenties or early thirties acting perhaps as a chapperone, but that information was completely unimportant to Jun, what he recognized was that Ryoga was with them!

There was a dark and sinister reslove about him, and for a moment Jun found himself feeling inspired by it! "How much further is the gym?" Hibiki asked, "I want to show Maro what happens when he kidnaps Nabiki!"

"What gym?" Jun wondered.

"We'll get to the high school in no time, sugar!" A girl . . . or boy, or something, with a big weird looking club said.

Jun leapt back behind the tree, lucky not to have been seen as Ryoga, the giant club girl or boy, an older man in glasses, a rather attractive young woman with a long pony tail draped over her shoulder, and Ushio's favorite disciple marched down the road.

"I'll hold 'im, and you punch, 'eh?" Ushio's disciple chuckled.

"I'll do more than punch him." Ryoga scoffed.

'Delicious!' Jun thought, 'Wonderful! So it seems Maro has aroused Hibiki's ire? Oh I do hope he isnt all talk!' Jun rubbed his hands together. This did change the situation, obviously Maro was not at his hide out, but at the school gym, so that was where Jun would lead Ranma and his troop.

It ocured to Jun just then that Ranma and Ryoga's combined martial artist coalitions would certainly outnumber Maro, and even he would be hard pressed to turn the tide as Ranma had already proven superior to him.

But if Han truly was still loyal to him . . . then even out numbered, the martial artists would all too soon find themselves outgunned, Saotome, and even Hibiki who seemed so much more passionate than Jun had believed, would be forced to obey Jun's desires!

There was yet hope for the situation!

* * *

Tatewaki Kuno had decided that morning to rescue Nabiki . . . 

That morning of course he'd meant to rescue her from the lie of a love that was not him, to seduce her away from her finacee and have her as his own. Now of course he meant to save her from some strange assassin with fans, funny, life's little curve balls.

Never one to sit and wait, or draw out a plan, Kuno instead charged forward, kicking down the locked door to the school gymnasium, and bursting in, waving his sword around wildly in a calculated manuver to make his opponent believe he was not as skilled as he truly was.

To anyone observing Tatewaki it would seem that he was flailing about at the dust upraised by the destruction of the door, but a seasoned eye would reveal that Kuno was in fact observing the entire room, searching for his prey, or his prize.

He found not the former, but the latter, Nabiki Tendo tied up in the very center of the gym!

Her mouth had been gagged, her hands were tied behind her back, and her legs tied together as well. Tatewaki rushed over to her and began to untie the ropes.

As soon as her hands were free Nabiki tore the gag away from her mouth and snapped, "Behind you, idiot!"

Tatewaki didnt have time to take offense at being called an idiot, instead he leapt up, and turned around just in time to be kicked in the face! He felt himself losing his balance, and threw his weight to the right so he wouldnt fall on Nabiki, but his assailant came up again, kicking him again!

Kuno landed on his face, stunned but not terribly damaged. He shook his head to clear it, and got to his feet, sword ready!

His opponent scoffed, "You are not Hibiki!"

"No! I am Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno, and I have come for the woman I love!" He announced with every bit of his usual drama. He would not suffer Nabiki Tendo be taken away from him, not when he had only begun to explore the possibilities of their relationship!

"I am the newly appointed, but no less fearsome assassin Maro, your title is impressive, but can your skills back up your boasts?" The assailant scoffed, and came on, a paper fan in each hand!

Kuno leapt into the air, and Maro skidded to a stop and kneld down where Kuno had been just a milisecond before, he waved his fan in Kuno's direction, and for an instant Kuno was cursed with an immage of a terrible, giant snake's head coming for him from the ceiling, ruining his jump completely!

He came down at a bad angle, and twisted himself enough to look down and see Maro kick up out of his kneelding position, his leg fast approaching Kuno's falling body!

Or rather, Kuno's falling body fast approaching Maro's leg, Kuno supposed it was all based on point of view.

But he also supposed that if he had time to be supposing, he should be countering, and so he positioned himself so that his sword would come down on the assassin just as Kuno himself fell.

The assassin took another wave of his fan, and Kuno saw himself hitting the ground, saw himself explode like a wet but attractive paper bag full of very sexy steaks, saw Nabiki Tendo mourning and being forced to marry that other guy!

But his training would not allow him to give in, and so as he came down he continued to come down sword first.

In truth the fact that this all happened in about two seconds was what kept his sword from straying, but later, while recounting events Kuno chalked it all up to training and personal courage.

Kuno came down like a missile, sword first! Maro's second fan swept out thought and with lightning speed that anyone, save Ranma Saotome would have been hard pressed to duplicate, flipped Kuno away without even damaging the fan!

Kuno landed on his feet not far from Nabiki, he turned to her and wanted to tell her to run!

But his folley was that he instead said "Watch me Nabiki Tendo! Watch your champion deliver justice!"

Nabiki, either content to watch, or simply unable to undo the cords that bound her ankles, stayed put and watched the battle.

Maro came towards Kuno, his hands disappeared into his coat for a moment, then emerged full of what appeared to be sewing needles, he threw them at Kuno and they landed in the floor in front of him!

Kuno raised an eyebrow, as if to say "was that it?" but then the needles exploded in puffs of white smoke, blinding Tatewaki!

Kuno didnt need his eyes to fight though, he closed them all together to protect them from the smoke, rather than making any attempt to see through it. He listened carefully for Maro, and as he heard the sound of light, fast, but definately audible footsteps, he swept his sword out in that direction!

He heard a grunt, then the sound of two feet coming down behind him and guessed that Maro had leapt over him. Without a second's hesitation, trusting fully in his hearing, Tatewaki spun around and brought the sword down on Maro in a quick fluid motion!

He opened his eyes and saw the smoke was disappearing, Maro lay on the floor, unconcious and lucky that Kuno had done no worse to him! Tatewaki spat at the prone form, something he would not normally do to a fallen foe, then turned to Nabiki.

He had nearly covered half the distance between them when he heard Maro laugh, he turnd to where the body should have been but saw nothing!

He turned instead to where Maro had been when he first threw the needles, and saw that he was holding that blasted fan again!

Kuno didnt consider how what had just happened could have happened, instead he rushed at Maro, who drew his arm back and took a mighty swing with his fan!

A giant fist errupted from the ground and struck Kuno so hard that he felt it knock the wind out of his chest, felt his ribs crack, even felt the incredible pain in his back when he fell backwards.

To his horror his legs would not budge . . .

Maro stalked over to him, waving his fan tauntingly, he kicked Kuno in the chest and snarled, "You were a good warm up, but you havent got what it takes to beat my illusions. If only you were Ryoga Hibiki, half my job would be done already . . . well since you're not a target I suppose it would be wrong for me to kill you . . . and yet . . . who cares about right and wrong?"

Maro reached into his coat and drew forth a dagger, he took Kuno's hair by the scalp, utterly ruining his perfect hair style and jerked his head back so hard that Tatewaki feared his neck might have broken! Maro brought the knife to his neck, ready to slice his throat open . . .

Not yet . . . there was still so much for him to accomplish! He could die yet!

"Stop!" Nabiki shouted, "Let him go!" Kuno and Maro looked at Nabiki, who had finished untying herself, she stood not far away, shaking her head. "You _could_ kill him--"

"I agree!" Maro said gleefully, plunigng the sword towards Tatewaki's neck, only to prompt Nabiki to again interrupt.

"Stop!" She screamed, "I mean you _could_ just kill him, or you could have _two_ hostages! With both our lives, maybe you can even convince Ryoga-kun to give up without a fight!"

Maro frowned, "Is this one important to Hibiki?"

"Ryoga idolizes him!" Nabiki said, "He'd be cushed if he knew you'd defeated Kuno-baby, he'd know he's got no chance against you if he saw you'd captured Kuno! Killing him would mean nothing, killing someone is easy, but bringing them in alive? Ryoga would fear that!"

Maro grinned, "I said before that you were wise, and you do not now disappoint me. You're right! I'll spare him, and let Hibiki find his broken body lying here on the gymnasium floor!" He kicked Kuno in the stomach, laying him flat on the floor, "You'll come with me, we'll wait for Hibiki on the roof."

"Fine." Nabiki said cooly, and Kuno couldnt help but feel even more in love with her. Her courage in such a dire situation was an inspiration, for if indeed her lover Ryoga did idolize Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno (and why wouldnt he?) then this was indeed a dire situation, for if Kuno had been, as he of course knew, the first, last and best hope for defeating the assassin, and had now failed beyond measure, then surely Nabiki was doomed!

But even with that knowledge, Kuno could not stop trying to move his legs! Somehow he knew the fist had been an illusion, his body was not broken, he only believed that it was, he should be able to move his legs! Should be able to save Nabiki!

But he still couldnt . . .

"Tell Hibiki to meet us on the roof, if you can move your mouth." Maro sneered at Kuno, spitting on his face, "he better come quick too, or the harlot dies."

Kuno glared and wanted to kill Maro then and there!

He lay there instead, meditating quietly, determined to convince himself that his spine was not broken, so that he could take his vengeance.

* * *

Jun arrived at the high school ten minutes or so before Ryoga would have, he wanted to prepare Maro, to tell him all that needed to be told, to warn him that disobedience now, failure now, could only result in his slow and painful torture, followed by a slow and painful death. 

But what he found, lying in the middle of the gym's floor, was a young man dressed in an old samurai's kimono, holding tightly to the hilt of a wooden sword.

Jun took only a moment to try to recognize the person, then simply decided he didnt care. He stood over the stranger and casually asked, "Seen a pale little dweeb and this girl he had tied up?"

"Up . . . stairs . . ." The swordman said, looking at Jun as if he were trying to recognize him. "Save her . . ."

"Ch'yea." Jun chuckled, "I'll get right on that." He kicked the young man to thank him for the information, then quickly climbed to the gym's rooftop.

He was greeted by a sharp command, "Stay back or she dies!"

"By all means kill the trollop." Jun shrugged.

"Master Jun!" Maro sounded much calmer. "What are you doing here?"

"The time is now!" Jun announced, "Hibiki and Saotome must die tonight! They are on their way, you will fight them, and you will kill them."

"Of course!" Maro said.

"Make no mistakes!" Jun warned, "Or you will suffer fates worse than death! They come with a group of fighters, it seems they've rounded up a little gang."

"Ryoga _and_ Ranma? You're going to get it now." Nabiki Tendo sneered.

Jun laughed in her face. "Silly girl. You dont understand . . ." Jun smiled wickedly at Maro and added, "Han Lo-Chun is with them."

"What?" Maro raored, shoving his hostage asside and drawing his battle fans! Jun drew a gun and pointed it at Maro's head.

"Calm down, my young apprentice." Jun said in a voice that was a little less calm than he would have liked. "Han is our ally whether she knows it or not. You will use her to help you acheive your goal, and then when Hibiki and Saotome are dead, you may kill her."

"Master!" Maro complained, "I have waited for years!"

"And you can wait twenty more minutes!" Jun snapped, "I will take the prisoner, you will destroy Hibiki and Saotome, with the assisstance of Lo-Chun, the other martial artists are of no consequence, slay or spare them according to your own whim."

"You are too kind, master." Maro growled, not sounding at all sincere.

This annoyed Jun. Hadnt he offered this kid his life long dream if he was but man enough to take it? And hadnt he tolerated one failure too many all ready? Yet now with the mention of Lo-Chun's name, Maro was all but ready to defy him! Ungreatful whelp, sure everything Jun had told him about making him a real assassin was a lie, still he expected the fool to show some measure of graditude!

"Do as I say and be rewarded, fail me . . . and I'll handle your torture myself." Jun warned. He then turned to Nabiki and said, "If you would my dear, let us take a more comfortable position, where we can enjoy front row seats as we witness the death of your fiancee, brother in law, and . . . heck, let's just shoot for 'everything you know and love' shall we?"

Nabiki scoffed that Jun should go someplace that was, by reputation not terribly pleasant, he ignored her and she walked slowly towards him.

He collected her and quickly led her away to another school building one a safe distance away from the gym. After negotiating some stairs, he forced her into a class room where they would have a nice, and relatively safe view of events, and then reaching into the holsters about his body, drew out his three remaining guns, and his only knife. He examined each weapon carefully, checked on the amount of amunition he had left, then holstered them. again.

"Why are you doing this?" Nabiki dared to ask.

Jun looked out the window. The show had not yet started.

He turned and smiled darkly at her, "Dare you hear my tale?" He asked, "Once you've heard it, the world you know will cease to exist."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what my dad told me when he said there was no easter bunny. I've learned to live with it." Nabiki said sarcastically.

Jun grinned. "All right, I'll tell you exactly why I am doing this to you and the people you love . . ."

* * *

Ranma ran full out, determined to catch Jun before it was too late! 

For Ranma, who so obviously outmatched Jun, it was becoming dificult to see why this needed to be his problem, but the others seemed fairly certain that it was, and since Jun had tried to kill him he figurred it just wasnt right to let him go on wandering the streets.

He had no weapons, he was not that kind of fighter, he didnt need them and even if he had them he wouldnt want to actually kill Jun.

On the other hand his hands and feet could be lethal if there was no other way.

Lo-Chun was leading the way, and Ranma felt just a little uneasy about that. There was a saying, "once a traitor" and Lo-Chun was, essentially, betraying her former master. Ranma just couldnt trust her!

But he wouldnt let that show, and so the four of them continued on, determined to catch the assassin before something terrible happened.

Determined not to let the local athorities get slaughtered trying to deal with him.

Determined to waste a perfectly good night for a perfectly fun tournament, because some moron wanted to put a bullet in Ranma's head.

Ranma scowled, realizing that that numbskull Ryoga had probably won the tourney! That jerk! He'd probably brag about it too and . . .

Oh wait, that was Ryoga right there!

Ryoga, dressed in a very different outfit looked as surprised to see Ranma as Ranma was to see him.

And Ukyo, and Tofu, and Kasumi. Ranma noted, but didnt really care about Anzu's friend whose name he'd forgotten.

Lotion didnt seem surprised, but she did look concerned. Concered for what, Ranma was not sure.

"Ryoga!" Ranma shouted, "What're ya doin' here?"

Ryoga seemed visibly torn between the idea of stopping to answer Ranma, and continuing on, the end result was him trying to do both at once, turning to answer Ranma while still running.

Ukyo _almost_ stopped him in time to keep him from running into a wall . . . _almost._

But Ryoga, being Ryoga shook it off and stood up as if he'd run into a pillow or something! Ranma shook his head in awe, and Shampoo giggled.

Ukyo gave Ranma a 'he's hopeless' look, and Ranma nodded discreetly.

"Oh thank heaven Ranma!" Kasumi gasped, "Nabiki has been kidnapped!"

"What? Where? How? Who?" Ranma demanded, pretending to care much more than he really did.

"It was Maro," Ukyo said, "We're not really sure what he'll do to her, but Ryoga here sure doesnt seem to want to wait and see."

"I'll pulverize him!" Ryoga snapped.

"That you will." Anzu's friend said neutrally, "If we ever find him."

"Furinkan High Gym." Kasumi said, "That is the place."

"Then that is where master Jun will be going." Lotion nodded, Ranma noted that she still called Jun "master" and didnt like the implication.

"Then let's go, and rid this town of those no good assassins!" Ukyo said.

"Ahem?" Lotion raised an eyebrow at Ukyo.

"What?"

"Present company excluded I presume?" Lotion said, annoyed.

"Not really, no." Ukyo said with a smirk, "real assassins kill people sugar, and while I dont doubt you've talked a few people into comas, you just dont have the eyes of a killer."

Lotion smiled, "You've never seen _my_ eyes."

"Good gravy, cant you people ever just leave things unsaid?" Anzu's friend cried, "I appreciate the chance t'rest an' all, but we were running t'save some girl a minute ago, now we're all catching up on old times or some stupid junk like that? What is with you people?"  
Ranma decided he really didnt like Anzu's friend, but couldnt deny her logic, they were in fact wasting time by just standing there talking and so the chase began anew, now with everyone haeded straight for the high school.

* * *

Ryoga kicked the door to the gym down, and burst in! "There's nobody here!" He scowled. 

"There's someone . . ." Tomoko pointed to a hunched over form in the middle of the gym.

It was . . . Kuno?

"Hah! You cannot keep Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno down!" Kuno cried, standing up, then falling down again. "I will triumph!" He cried, shaking his fist at the sky.

Ryoga tried hard not to roll his eyes, Kuno was obviously role playing because he didnt look hurt badly enough to lose control of his legs. "What are you doing?" He demanded.

Kuno glared at him. "Fanged wanderer--"

"Ryoga!" Ryoga corrected angrily.

"Ryoga," Kuno agreed, "Fair Nabiki Tendo is being held captive atop the roof by a fan weilding monster! He has defeated me, but perhaps there is still hope for you . . ." Kuno trailed off dramatically.

"For the love of--are all the cute guys in this town drama queens?" Tomok demanded, "Do I need to move to a different city?"

"Stop thinking those sick thoughts!" Anzu snapped, "We're here to stop my evil uncle, we are _not_ here to get laid!"

"I can have two goals!" Tomoko stuck her tongue out at Anzu.

Ryoga felt his eye twitch. "Where did you say Nabiki was?" He asked Kuno, too annoyed now to be able to even raise his voice in urgency.

Kuno however seemed to understand that the situation was serious and, leaning against his sword he said, "The roof, go quickly or she'll die! Someone else up there too . . . I did not recognize . . . could be dangerous."

"Then I'll do it myself!" Ryoga cried.

Ranma tripped him, and sat on him. "Right. Well here's my plan, and I guarantee it's one hundred percent better than yours."  
"Get off me." Ryoga growled.

"Right, right, in'a minute." Ranma said. The others gathered around him . . . except for the moose, who started eating the flowers outside. "Here's the plan; Tofu stayes here 'n fixes . . . whatever's wrong with Kuno boy."

"Might need a brain surgeon for that." Ukyo whispered, and everyone nodded, except for Kuno who hadnt heard her.

"Meanwhile, Lotion is going to keep Kasumi safe." Ranma said.

"I will _what_?" Lotion demanded.

"You guard Kasumi, make sure she doesnt get hurt!" Ranma explained.

"Are you concerned for Kasumi's safety, or do you mean to keep me--"

"I would really appreciate your protection." Kasumi interrupted an outraged Lotion.

The young assassin calmed only a bit, and nodded curtly to Kasumi, but refused to look at Ranma, who ignored her indignation, and just continued outlining his plan, "Then Ukyo, you'll . . . Anzu and Tomoko . . . while Shampoo . . . and Ryoga and I charge right in, we'll trap Maro and make him give up Nabiki."

Ryoga hadnt actually heard much of the plan, he was too busy resisting the urge to throw Ranma into the wall and run up the stairs to rescue Nabiki, but once the words 'charge right in' and 'make him give up Nabiki' caught in his brain he calmed down immediately.

Ranma got off of him, and said "Ready?"

"I was born ready!" Ryoga cried.

"That and stupid." Ranma chuckled, Ryoga glared at him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt! "What? Oh . . . I said that out loud?"

"Save it for Maro." Ukyo suggested, and Ryoga released Ranma. Ukyo was right, there'd be time to deal with Ranma latter!

* * *

Maro paced back and forth, he was ready, he felt, to kill them all. He'd wanted to kill Nabiki just as Ryoga arrived, so as to taunt him and break his spirit, but Jun seemed to want her for something. He scoffed, what nonsense! 

It was important that all witnesses die, no one could be left to testify against the Nekekami agents, and of course Maro considered himself an agent even if he hadnt killed Hibiki and Saotome quite yet.

Oh he'd get to them soon enough. Gripping his fan of illusions he grinned wickedly, knowing that this time he'd defeat them both and finish them off.

If he failed . . . well, there was a reason he'd wanted to fight Hibiki at the Furinkan High School's gymnasium. He had already prepared the battle field, Hibiki and Saotome would die whether or not Maro defeated them.

It was all too genius.

_He _was a genius! He was the very paragon of humanity, whatever the heck that meant. He was incredible and brave! Strong, and so much smarter than the rest of them, he understood, he knew what life was, life was a vile disease on the face of beautiful, peacful death! Only he knew, only he understood, all others were fools who had to be made to understand through death!

Maro paced back and forth, he whispered to himself as he waited, then spoted movement out of the corner of his eye, an attractive woman who didnt look a day over sixteen stood on the roof observing him.

She was Tosa, another of the Nekekami's three greatest master assassins, as Jun was in charge of assassinating assassins from other guilds, Tosa was incharge of internal security, it was her duty, and extreme pleasure to eliminate rouges and malcontents.

What she was doing here was beyond Maro's figuring! For a moment he felt an icy grip of fear completely overriding the sense of narcecism he'd just been feeling, but the woman just glanced at him, smiled sweetly and said, "Dont worry weakling, if it were you, you'd be dead already."

Maro relaxed a bit, and gave her a slight bow. She was nearly a head shorter than him, but still she seemed to tower over him like a giantess, she was holding no weapons that Maro could see but he didnt doubt that a master . . . er, well mistress assassin didnt really need them.

She skipped along the roof towards him, and, still smiling said, "I suppose you are in league with Koruda?"

Maro felt a little more at ease, and nodded, "Yes, I-I was just about to eliminate some rogues for the master."

Tosa nodded slightly. "I see. And Koruda is . . ." Tosa asked, trailing off expecting an answer.

"Observing from a safe location."

"So like Jun." Tosa giggled. "Well, never mind that. If your rogues are a group of nine people and a moose, they shall be upon you in . . . hmm . . . right about now." Tosa said brightly, and Maro heard a sound that he guessed was probably a door being kicked in, "Good luck with that!"

"Nine?" Maro gasped, "Mistress, could you not . . . even the odds?"

Tosa glared at him for a moment, and Maro felt a sudden overwhelming sense of dread, though why the idea of his own death should frighten him so was a mystery to him.

"Do you, a rogue, dare to make a request of _me_?" Tosa asked sharply, Maro heard foot steps approaching up the stairs . . .

"N-No!" He gasped.

"I didn't think so." Tosa said venemously. "Now, off I go!" She said, bright and cheerful again.

Maro shuddered, and the door exploded behind him just as Tosa leapt off of the roof and disappeared into the darkness.

Maro turned around and saw Ranma and Ryoga standing shoulder to shoulder, glaring at him.

He prepared himself for battle . . .

"Where's Nabiki?" Ryoga demanded.

"And where's Jun?" Ranma added.

"You will find them both, only after I am dead!" Maro sneered.

"Easily arranged sugar." A boy . . . or girl, with a huge bat said.

"You surrounded." An attractive chinese girl sneered.

Maro was indeed surrounded, for though Ryoga and Ranma had come in through the door, their comrades had leapt up onto the roof, Maro scowled at them. "Cowards." He scoffed, on the off chance that they might suffer a pride attack and fight him one at a time.

It wouldnt matter of course, he was an assassin, not a martial artist, not a brawler, he'd hoped to defeat Saotome and Hibiki through illusions, and those illusions could work on nine people just as easily as they worked on two . . .

Maybe . . .

"I'll take him on first." Ranma said cockily.

"Let me!" Ryoga snapped, "I'll make him tell me where Nabiki is, then I'll bash his skull in!"

"Dont you mean 'or' you'll bash his skull in?" Spatula girl/boy asked.

"Yes, fine, _or_ I'll bash his skull in!" Ryoga said, Maro rolled his eyes, Hibiki after all had been easily fooled by his illusions before.

"We could all just rush right in an' slaughter 'im together, this doesnt have t'be showy or flashy y'know." One of the Koruda girls said.

"Tell us where Nabiki is, and we wont rip your guts out." The second Koruda girl said, "Further, tell us where Jun is, and we'll even let you keep one of your five limbs, you can even choose which one."

"It sounds like a fair deal to me." Spatula boy/girl nodded.

Maro scoffed. "Can it be that you are too afraid to face me then?" He sneered.

"Tomoko's right," Ranma grinned, "Let's make this a group thing!"

"Fine!" Ryoga snarled, lunging forward!

* * *

Ryoga lunged for Maro, his right fist came to Maro's stomach as if it were magnettically pulled, as the other boy doubled over Ryoga's knee came up and met with his face, knocking him upright again only for Ryoga's left fist to come in like a missile, striking Maro in the face and knocking him five feet back! 

Maro rolled as he hit the ground and came up in a crouch, he waved his fan at Shampoo who came charging in with her two giant melon smasher thingummies, (this line has nothing to do with Shampoo's breasts) and she stumbled, and fell over as if she were dead.

Maro twisted to the side, ready to wave his fan at Ukyo who was charging with her battle spatula ready to deal a painful blow! The problem was that Maro's swipe would come first!

Before he could wave the fan though, Ryoga was on him again, about to kick a feild goal, with Maro's head as the foot ball!

But Maro grinned wickedly at him, and swiped his fan towards Ryoga, rather than Ukyo!

Ryoga gasped in surprise, and suddenly saw a great serpent errupt from the ground beneath him! It was as thick as Ryoga, and as long as a school bus! It wrapped itself around Ryoga and began to squeeze the life out of him!

His eyes began to blink rapidly, trying to deny the illusion! He knew it was an illusion, like Ranma had said! But he could_ feel_ it! He could feel it crushing him! He gasped for air, and felt his bones begin to crack and break! He struggled with all of his imense strength to free himself! He looked at the battle before him and to his horror saw Maro had already ended it!

Snakes were writhing and slithering about all over the place, strangling all of Ryoga's allies, there was no point in counting them, there were simply too many to number!

The roof gave way under the giant serpent that was wrapping itself around Ryoga! He fell to the floor, bits of the roof fell down on him, but the snake continued to squeeze, crushing Ryoga's very life out of him!

He screamed and tried to break free!

_Is this how it ends?_ He wondered.

'I cant get free!' He told himself. 'I'm too . . .'

_Weak._ He thought bitterly.

'Too weak . . .' Ryoga realized.

He began to give in to the serpent, stopped struggling, allowed it to take his life slowly and painfully . . .

_Cant give up!_ He scolded himself!

Ryoga scowled, it wasnt real! He wasnt really being crushed, he probably wasnt even on the gym's floor, he was probably still on the roof top!

He closed his eyes tightly, and still felt the crushing sensation, he focused hard! Nabiki was in danger, he needed to win! He needed to give it his all!

He shut his eyes tighter and told himself that there was no snake!

'It's all an illusion!' He thought to himself, 'All an illusion!' He struggled, and felt the snake's grip losen! He was still in pain, but he could tell that none of his bones were broken, he struggled still further to convince himself that it simply wasnt real!

He opened one eye . . . there was no snake at all.

He opened both eyes, and found himself lying on the ground.

Ukyo was nearby, unconcious, so was Shampoo.

Ryoga got to his feet and saw Anzu lying not far away, unconcious as well.

He felt strangely giddy, he'd won! Well, he hadnt defeated Maro, but he had defeated the illusions, which only help him do the former!

"Yer illusions aint workin' so give up before I lose my patience!" He heard Tomoko shout.

"Tell us where Nabiki and Jun are!" Ranma added.

Ryoga pulled himself to his feet and looked around, he saw Maro standing on the edge of the roof, both fans in hand.

Ryoga clenched a fist, he saw Ranma and Tomoko were both still standing, and neither seemed terribly injured.

Maro shouted at them, "I've come to far to give up now! I cant let you just win!"

"You know what they say, the higher the climb the greater the fall." Ranma sneered, "Maybe ya can make the climb again, but if we break your arms and legs, it'll be a lot harder, so cooperate."

"There will be no climbing, for any of us!" Maro screamed at the top of his lungs, "I'll kill you, you know? You were dead the moment you set foot on school grounds! I am no martial artist, I'll quickly admit, but I am quite fond of explosives . . ." Maro said, letting the implied threat hang in the air.

Ryoga didnt care, let Maro make whatever threat he liked, he began to run towards him, Maro spotted him and yelped!

"Y-you're not supposed to get back up!" He cried, rushing forward, towards Ranma, to escape Ryoga.

It wasnt the smartest thing in the world, but he probably figured he'd have a better chance for survival with Ranma. He was probably right too, because Ryoga was sick and tired of allowing that freak to draw breath!

Ranma just held out a hand to stop Maro, who grunted and fell to the ground, dropping both his fans.

He reached into his coat and produced a small silver rectangle about the size of a cigarette lighter, he held it up for all too see and screamed, "If I press this button we all die!"

That gave Ranma and Tomoko pause, even Ryoga slowed, though he didnt really stop advancing.

"If I press this button, we all die, including Nabiki, and all your senseless friends on the roof! You all know how great I am with illusions, but this is no illusion, there are very real explosives attatched to this building!"

"Oh bloody brilliant!" Tomoko snapped, "blow up the school _while_ I'm in it eh?"

"Yeah," Ranma frowned, "Ya coulda done this while I was at home or something?"

"Are you two insane?" Ryoga snapped, "He's going to kill Nabiki!"

"Actually, he's going to kill us _all_." Ranma pointed out dryly.

Ryoga glared at Maro, and Maro sneered, "It looks like I hold all the cards now." Maro said.

"Not so." Ryoga said coldly, "My life doesnt matter to me, and I've been trying to kill Ranma for years."

"Hey!" Ranma protested.

"Nobody here matters to me," He said gesturing towards the unconcious fighters, "I just want Nabiki."

"She'll die too!" Maro cried.

"Perhaps." Ryoga nodded. "You could just be lying."

"I could be lying about a lot of things." Maro grinned, "But I assure you, I'm being wholly honest."

Ryoga shrugged. "Wont matter when I'm dead will it?" He grinned wickedly, "Best of all I'll die knowing that you and Ranma went with me. My greatest rival, and the slime who dared to abduct my fiancee."

"So?" Maro sneered, "I'd die knowing that I killed my two targets, knowing that I became a real assassin in the end!"

"Then what're ya waiting for?" Tomoko scoffed.

Maro seemed unsure, and Ryoga felt fairly certain that now would be the time to spring!

* * *

Jun leaned against the window sil, trying to judge whether or not he could shoot the detonator our of Maro's hand without hitting it and perhaps causing it to go off. 

That thrice cursed fool needed to know that this sort of behavior was not acceptable, at the same time Jun needed him to know that there was no need to be quite so desperate.

He was considering possible options, but Nabiki, surprisingly, was the one to point out the obvious. "Why dont you just go down there and tell him not to blow us all up?" She asked.

Jun smiled, how brilliant! He _should_ go down there!

He'd put far more faith in Lotion than he should have it seemed. He grabbed Nabiki by the arm lightly, and turned towards the door of the classroom that he and Nabiki were watching the fight from.

It was open.

He knew he'd closed it when he came in! But now it was open.

He raised an eyebrow and glared around the room, he drew out his knife and hurled it towards the room's light switch!

His aim was perfect, and the knife struck the switch handle first! The room lit up, and Nabiki shut her eyes against the sudden light.

Jun scanned the room, and saw a familiar woman sitting in the teacher's chair.

"Tosa!" Jun scowled.

"Koruda." Tosa nodded curtly.

"What are you doing here?" Jun demanded, quite upset that she'd managed to sneak up on him undetected! He reached behind his back for one of his remaining guns.

"I'm here to do my job. There's a rogue in the area causing problems." Tosa said sweetly.

"Maro? He's harmless . . . unless you're in a bar." Jun said, knowing full well that it wasnt Maro she was talking about.

"Not him." Tosa smiled sweetly. Jun scowled, the woman was nearly thirty, but she didnt look a day over sixteen, it was like being mocked by a child!

"So then, you're here for me." Jun scowled, preparing to draw his weapon.

"In a manner of speaking." Tosa smiled. "I am here _because_ of you, I am not here _for_ you."

Jun relaxed a bit, realizing that if she'd wanted him dead he would be, he hated to admit it but this round belonged to Tosa . . .

"Han?" Jun asked, wondering how many assassins were in the bloody city!

"Not at all." Tosa smiled, "Of the three names you've offered so far, hers is lowest of all on my list. Odd that you believe yourself, and your charges to be guild targets . . . the elders did give you permission to induct Maro Huriko into the guild, did they not? Your activities here have indeed been given their blessings, no?"

Jun shifted uneasily, and the look on Tosa's mocking face told him that she knew the truth of the situation with Maro all too well.

"Why am I still alive then?" Jun demanded.

"I told you, I am not here for you." Tosa shrugged. "I am here because of you. I am here to appraise whether or not these boys you're testing are truly worth another late induction into the guild, you know we need them at age eight, not eighteen."

"And so far?" Jun asked, relieved that Tosa, and therefore the guild elders, had guessed wrong.

"I've watched them since their first confrontation with Maro. Neither really impresses me. Lo-Chun was different of course, she was an Unusual after all, we had to take her late. But these ones? The most usual thing about the pigtailed boy is his taste in hair style, and the only special talent I've noticed from the other is a lack of any sort of sense of direction, if he is an Unusual then his talent is obviously not a benificial one."

"We'll see." Jun grinned, but tried to let a measure of false disappointment slip into his voice.

Mere aspirants? Fool woman! He was relieved to know that she hadn't overheard too much of what he told Nabiki!

"If you'll excuse me," Jun said, shoving Nabiki towards the door, "I really should go lend Maro a hand."

"Dont worry about him." Tosa said evenly. "He asked me to help him, so I did."

Jun raised an eyebrow. "You did?"

Tosa smiled wickedly, "I disabled his bombs."

"How does that help him?" Jun couldnt help but grin, she had after all, stopped Maro's mad bombing plan!

Tosa shrugged. "Now he can die like a man." She said.

Jun shook his head, and shoved Nabiki along towards the battle. He knew without having to look back that Tosa was going to watch the battle, going to make sure that Ryoga and Ranma were in no way truly unusual.

He'd show her how wrong she and the guild elders were, he'd wake Ranma and Ryoga's powers!

* * *

"I really am greatful for your protection." Kasumi said, patting Lo-Chun on the shoulder. 

She scoffed. "I _need_ to be over there." She said.

"It is best if you stay here." Kasumi told her. This seemed a terribly serious battle, someone was obviously going to get hurt and Lo-Chun had proven time and time again that she was a taltentless fighter, even the talents she claimed to have were suspect. She could throw knives . . . but they wouldnt actually hit anything. She could be sneaky if she didnt talk to herself . . . she couldnt keep from talking to herself when she tried to sneak. And though she claimed to be a famous assassin and amazonian warrior, Kasumi had not even heard of any recent assassinations and according to Cologne the only thing Lo-Chun was famous for among the amazons was getting drunk when there was no alcohal for miles, ranting and raving and then being stripped naked by her tribal sisters and tied to a tree until she sobered up.

About the only thing she _could_ do was bake a mean cookie out of practically any odd ingredient and still make it taste perfect.

She paced back and forth mumbling to herself now as she and Kasumi watched the gym from just outside the school's entrance. Kasumi of course hadnt seen anything but she'd heard some shouting that she couldnt make out.

She was worried about poor doctor Tofu, all alone with that poorer Kuno boy and worse she worried for poorer sitll Nabiki who might be beaten, raped, even dead by now! She could only hope that Ranma and Ryoga would prove an unstopable team now as they usually had in the past.

Of course . . . 'usually' didnt mean always. There was that time . . . oh and that other time . . . and . . . "Oh my . . ." Kasumi whispered to herself, maybe Ranma and Ryoga werent so invincible after all.

But for Nabiki's sake . . . they had to be. She wondered where Akane was . . .

Finally they heard a gunshot! Kasumi gasped and Lo-Chun glared towards the roof. There was a brief pause, and then came two more only moments away from each other, Kasumi felt fear running through her . . . had somebody been shot? She looked to Lo-Chun in case the assassin might know.

But she only turned to Kasumi, and said with a tone of urgency, "I _have_ to go. You must understand. You've become my family, this is what I _must_ do to protect you all."

Kasumi stared at Lo-Chun for a moment, then nodded. She knew a thing or two about loyalty to family members.

Lo-Chun's eyes seemed to flash an unusual yellow, then grinning she turned and bounded off towards the gym.

* * *

Tosa watched Han Lo-Chun head for the battle, and nodded. With two _real_ agents and even the false child Maro, the remaining martial artists would pose no threat. She saw no reason to involve herself, but chose to continue watching the battle just in case something really interesting happened. 

She did not have to wait long . . .

* * *

When Jun arrived Ryoga had Maro's arm twisted behind his back while Maro, screaming about being touched, refused to answer any of the questions that Ryoga was asking. 

"Where's Nabiki?" Ryoga roared into Maro's ear.

The response was a shriek of "Germs! Germs! Bacteria!"

Rolling his eyes, Jun fired a shot into the air, it easily got everyone's attention. He sneered and then held the still smoking weapon to Nabiki Tendo's head. "Everyone remain calm," Jun said with a smile, he watched Ryoga carefully.

Such power! Such pashion! He'd make a find aspirant.

But Ranma Saotome was the chosen one, that was easy enough to see.

"You'll all cooperate, or I'll plant a metal seed in her brain." Jun said, then chided himself, that line had been so not cool!

Stupid Tosa had totally thrown him off his game!

"Master, I could have handled this situation." Maro scoffed.

Jun glared at him and had to restrain himself from shooting Maro right then. Who did he think he was? "I saw how you controlled the situation you incompotent failure." Jun said coldly, "Now you pay attention and maybe you'll learn something."

Maro fumed but nodded. He also reached into his coat and produced a little anti bacterial wipe and cleaned the wrist Ryoga had grabbed.

Jun smiled politely and said, "Now that we're all together . . . Nabiki dear, do tell them how important it is that they cooperate. You . . . do like being alive . . . dont you?" Jun asked, jabbing her head with the gun a few times just to emphesize his point.

Nabiki scoffed and said, "Ryoga baby . . . if I die you can marrry Yoshimi. Kill this moron."

Jun feigned outrage, but in truth that was exactly what he'd told Nabiki to say.

Ryoga charged for him, and he fired two more shots, purposely missing the oncoming Hibiki! Jun put his gun away and shoved Nabiki to the side, she knew her role and she knew she'd play it well or her life would end long before Jun's did.

Jun leapt backwards, and drawing out his hunting knife lunged for Ryoga, the younger man kept on coming.

Jun and Ryoga clashed, it was like running head first into a brick wall! Jun swiped at Ryoga with the knife and Ryoga stopped the blade and knocked it out of Jun's hand long before the intended blow could cut him!

Jun dropped to the ground and swept Ryoga's legs out from under him! Ryoga leapt up and Jun's gaze followed him.

Suddenly he felt a terrible explosion of pain in his chest! Ryoga had leapt up, and Ranma had charged right into him and struck him right over his heart!

It felt as if he'd been hit a hundred times instead of just once, but he knew no one was that fast. He gasped for air and fell to the ground! That had not been part of the plan!

Ryoga came down _on top _of Jun! He landed with his knee in Jun's stomach, the assassin screamed in pain! This was wrong! Terribly wrong!

Ryoga's arm shot out with a speed that nearly rivaled Ranma's, and his strong hand wrapped around Jun's throat! Jun struggled and realized suddenly his terrible mistake!

Ranma wanted to _beat_ him, he was convinced that he could have fought Ranma forever and never been in danger of being killed. Ryoga wanted to _kill_ him, and he was going to do it now, the look in the boy's eyes told him so.

Jun had made a very big mistake.

* * *

Ryoga tightened his grip on Jun's neck and whispered, "For all the trouble you've caused us, for threatening Nabiki, for being in league with that freak with the fans . . ." He glared intensely at the assassin, who seemed just a little afraid. "For all those things!" Ryoga yelled, tightening his grip on the killer's throat, so tempted to just keep on tightening and tightening until Jun was dead . . . instead he said cooly, "For all those things, you will spend the rest of your long and miserable life in prison." 

He released the assassin's throat, and got up, Jun looked relieved, but also disappointed. Ryoga didnt care. Nabiki was safe, she wasnt seriously hurt and that was all that mattered. While Ryoga wouldnt go so far as to say 'no harm no foul' he certainly couldnt kill Jun when in truth no serious damage had been done. Nabiki got threatened by all sorts of people while they were taveling together . . . usually people who'd lost their life savings to her.  
When it came right down to it Ryoga was by far too happy at seeing Nabiki in once piece to really care at all about Jun, besides he felt the lesson had been learned, glancing at Ranma, who nodded in agreement with his decision--like he cared--Ryoga turned to Nabiki.

Nabiki sent an unsure glance towards Jun, which Ryoga guessed must mean she was a little afraid of him attacking her. He didnt see Jun's slight nod.

"Are you all right?" Ryoga asked Nabiki as he held her in his arms. After a rather uncomfortable moment she wrapped her own arms around him tightly and said that she was.

Ryoga closed his eyes, not caring about anything but her for that moment.

A moment that would end all too soon.

* * *

Nabiki was surprised by Ryoga's sudden embrace, he really wasnt the sort to display his affection so publicly! Maybe her being kidnapped would help their relationship. She closed her eyes and held him as well, not at all embarassed that so many people, friend and enemy alike were watching them. 

Jun had told her a lot if not everything about the Nekekami and about his plans for Ryoga or Ranma, depending on which of them was the chosen one. Nabiki wanted desperately to share this knowledge with the two boys.

Now was not the time.

She had made a deal with Jun, had agreed to follow his plan, and so far nothing was going according to it. She could have told him that Ryoga and Ranma would kick his butt, but it was more fun to see the surprised look on his face, and even she hadnt expected them to do it so quickly.

The plan, oh the plan, what a fool Jun was. He had decided that he would fight Ranma and Ryoga alone and distract them while Nabiki rushed out to the safety of their "other comrades" where she would find Han Lo-Chun and explain to her the dire situation, encouraging her to come to the rescue. Upon seeing Lotion, Maro would apparently fly into a rage, attack her resulting in a necessary distraction at which point Jun would kill Maro, thus reawakening his old apprentice's loyalty. In exchange for all this, Ryoga and her sisters would not be harmed and she herself would never have to worry about being assassinated by a Nekekami agent. Ever.

Phase one never got off the ground, Nabiki assumed that she was off the hook for her part of it, and who cared? Ryoga had won, as she knew he would. Jun was beaten, Maro was a twit, things would go back to normal now . . . right?

Unfortunately that was when Lotion arrived, leaping on to the roof with all the grace of a swan, then tripping and falling on her face with all the clumsiness of . . . well, Ranma or Ryoga on ice wasnt a bad comparison.

"Blasted floor!" The amazon screamed, rubbing some blood away from her nose.

"Yer too late, we've got it under control." Ranma scoffed, but Nabiki noticed he was suddenly on guard.

She glanced at Lotion, the idiot. Could she really be such a great assassin? Nabiki simply couldnt see it, was Jun drunk when he trained her?

Jun got to his feet and held his hands in the air in surrender, obviously seeing that his apprentice was by no means the cavalry. The Koruda girl who wasnt unconcious came over and, reaching into her many pocketted coat, produced a pair of hand cuffs. She winked at Ryoga as she slapped them on Jun's wrists, and Nabiki tightened her grip on _her_ fiance just to be sure there was no confusion.

Maro raised an eyebrow at Lotion, who glared in return, after a few moments a light seemed to go on in his head and he screamed, "It's you!"

"I am Hand Lotion," The assassin hissed, oddly enough referring to herself as Hand Lotion instead of Han Lo-Chun, "_Formerly_ the great Amazonian Assassin."

"Formerly?" Maro scoffed, "Then you admit that I am your better?"

"If it makes you happy." Lotion said simply. "I'll say what ever you like, but saying it shall not make it so. No I am afraid if you want to be called my superior, you must kill me."

Jun grinned, and Nabiki felt suddenly unsure. She didnt technically like Lotion, but she knew her, and that was enough to make her inevitable death an inconvenience.

* * *

Jun watched as his student stood unarmed before her most hated foe. He was not ignorant, he knew that Lo-Chun had been running from Maro for some time, and he knew about her unfortuante run in with the training ground of accursed springs. 

But still he knew that Han could make short work of Maro simply because she, unlike he, was no martial artist, she was an assassin and when she kept this in mind she was unstopable.

She reached into her pocket and produced a small object . . . a box! She held it out to Maro. "For all the wrongs I've done to you my friend . . . take this." She said.

Maro eyed her suspiciously, and she threw the box at him. He caught it, and looked inside.

"A cookie?" He asked.

"Yes. A Masrshion cookie, made from marshamallows and onions, chedder cheese powder and egg shells!"

"It sounds disgusting!" Maro cried.

"two sticks of butter and twelve cups of sugar," Lotion continued.

"Just eat it! It's great!" Ranma offered.

"They _are _pretty good." Ryoga admitted.

"If you dont want it, I'll eat it." Nabiki offered.

Maro scoffed, "It is _my_ cookie, I'll eat it!" He said, shoving it down his throat. He frowned for a moment and said, "It . . . it tastes pretty good!"

Jun frowned, confused . . . his prized student was handing out cookies?

"A cup of oil," Lotion said with a dark smile as Maro swalled the cookie, "two cups of water and . . . oh my, what was that last ingredient?" She reached into her coat and produced a small vial, she examined it and smiled at Maro, "Oh my yes! I forgot to mention the new ingredient . . . _venom ala sea snake._"

She tossed the vial of poison to Maro, Nabiki said something to the effect of "glad I didnt eat it" and Maro fell to the ground, gagging!

Lotion skipped merrily over to him, the skip she'd always used in the old days, the spring in her step caused by the impending death of her victim!

Ranma, Ryoga, Tomoko and Nabiki all seemed dumbfounded by Lotion's actions, but Jun couldnt have been happier! She was still his student, his child, his property, his slave, his _masterpiece_!

Lotion crouched in front of Maro as he grabbed his throat, hacking and coughing, "What's that you say?" She asked, "Need something to wash it down with? Why here! The antivenom should do the trick, if you swear to leave me and my friends alone . . . forever."

Maro nodded furiously, but Jun was just plain furious! Give him the antivenom? Was she crazy?

Though come to think of it he should already have been dead shouldnt he? Jun was no expert on poisons, that was really Tosa's department.

Lotion handed Maro the antivenom and he swallowed it all, then she gasped! "Oh no! Looks like you just drank the wrong one dear! That was the Black Widow Venom I put in my Sourcrout Shortcake!"

Maro's eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted. There was silence for a moment, the Ranma grabbed Lotion by the shoulder, and spun her around! "You killed him!" He roared, "You didnt have to kill him! You _are_ just a murderer!"

Lotion scoffed and shoved Ranma's hand away. "I beg your pardon?"

Ranma clenched a fist and threw it at Lotion, who cringed as if expecting it to knock her head off her shoulders.

But Ranma's eyes were faster than his hand and he saw it before his fist struck Lotion, before Jun even saw it!

Maro was still breathing.

"I gave him some paralyzing potion," Lotion explained, "Then I gave him some cough syrup. I also had some vodka if he didnt give up I was going to tell him it was Coneshell toxin."

Ranma blinked. "You dont have any poison on ya at all?"

"Well actually I do, but do you really think I'd _ever_ soil my delicious baked goods with them? You insult me!" Lotion laughed.

"But you do have poisons?" Ranma demanded.

"Well I _am _an assassin." Lotion said proudly.

"But I thought you were going to stop being an assassin! You just made this long speech!" Ryoga protested.

"One must always be prepared." Lotion nodded sagely.

"You're an idiot!" Ranma cried.

"Of course you didnt." Lotion chuckled.

"Of course we didnt what?" Ryoga scratched his chin.

"No need for thanks!" Lotion cried, but she sounded confused, she reached into one of her pockets and produced a little peice of paper and examined it.

"You wrote a speech didnt you?" Ranma chuckled.

"There's no need to thank me." Lotion sighed helplessly.

"Did we have lines?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow.

"It's the duty of the strong to protect the--oh screw it, you guys suck!" Lotion cried, ripping her paper up. "This is _nothing_ like the comic books!"

Ranma seemed confused, Ryoga smiled approvingly and Nabiki looked like she'd just seen a bad movie and wanted to ask for her money back.

Jun however was downright pissed.

"What the heck?" He demanded, "Are you a _good guy_ now or something? Worthless Unusual filth!"

"Even more worthless, the _normal_ who doesnt know _he_ is the simple one." Lotion spat, "I long ago came to terms with what _I_ am master. That cant change. But what can change is _who_ I am, and that person who I was is dead, my very last kill. The creature that you made me holds no dominion over me, and the worst tortures and torments the guild can inflict on me are all I deserve for ever following them in the first place!"

Jun scowled, he wanted to kill her right then.

But he told himself that the girl he'd trained, the girl he'd saved from a life of hatred and belittlement by so-called friends and family and introduced to a life of power and prowess where she could thrive, would never turn her back on the utopia that he had given her.

Why would anyone want to _stop_ being an assassin? Stop holding absolute power over other's lives? Why would anyone want to stop killing for the grand order? Why would anyone give up the way of the spirit cat? Lotion knew that once the chosen one was discovered the Nekekami would unite the entire underworld together again! She had to know that she could side with the winners, or die with the losers, who would chose death?

He looked at Nabiki, and knew she certainly wouldnt . . . would she? No, of couse not!

He gave her a subtle nod and she nodded right back. She detatched herself from Ryoga and strolled over to him, she grinned and slapped him across the face.

Jun did not bother to hide the outrage he felt, he knew it would only help him play the part Nabiki was offering him!

"How dare you kidnap me, then insult poor Lotion!" She slapped him again, "How dare you and your silly ninja clan interfere in our sinful but happy lives of lying to one another, having sex with each other, and stealing money from Ranma?"

"Yeh-HEY!" Ranma protested, checking his pockets.

Nabiki slapped him again and said, "How dare you and your little comrade who smells like fish," She gestured towards Maro who was still unconcious, "lay your hands on _me_, and so terribly beat me?"

"Beat you?" Ryoga raised an eyebrow.

"You look fine." Tomoko yawned.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Nabiki demanded.

"Actually, I do." Jun smiled, and freed his hands from their restraints, a trick he'd picked up while dating a girl who'd been rather into domination. He drew a gun in one hand, threw his other arm around Nabiki's neck and began to back away from the fighters.

He sneered at Ryoga and said, "Miss Tendo and I have become rather attatched to one another, I will be taking her now and there is nothing you can do to stop me. I will very likely leave her dead in a ditch somewhere, but one never knows." Jun winked at Nabiki, passing on the telepathic message that he had no intentions of killing her.

An outright lie, since he'd already decided that he'd do just that, and in just a moment, but she didnt need to know that.

"You can have her back Ryoga Hibiki . . . if you kill Ranma Saotome."

"You cant expect 'im t'kill me for her sake!" Ranma cried, "How's he t'know yer tellin' the truth about lettin' her go?"

"I suppose he doesnt. Is it a risk he is willing to take?" Jun sneered and tightened his grip on the trigger.

Ranma scoffed. "Dont listen to 'im. We can take him before he shoots her, Ryoga. And if he does shoot her he's gotta know we'll murder him right here and now, he's out'a options."

"A foe backed into a wall might not see anything to lose." Jun smiled, "And maybe I'm the sort of sick son of a gun who wants to take this promiscuous little girl with me!"

"I'm not promiscuous." Nabiki pointed out.

"Like fun you're not." Jun scoffed, "Anyone who wears shorts as short as yours is obviously a tramp."

"Everyone says that, but really it's the fashion. I cant help it if the trend setters are sultry little brats, if I dont dress like they do I wont be taken seriously. Them's the breaks." Nabiki said and tried to shrug but Jun jabbed the gun into the side of her head to remind her that they were not buddies.

"For a super genious you sure are stupid." Jun decided.

"Sticks and stones." Nabiki scoffed.

"Look, whether she's promiscuous or not," Tomoko said, "I'm tired as a log and just as bored with this whole thing. I suggest you let the girl go, or kill her. Either way, let's end this, I want to eat something."

Jun massaged his forehead. This was annoying. "All right." He admitted. "We'll have tea and cookies, then we resume where we left off."

"Not tea," Tomoko sighed, "Tea is for dweebs!"

"I love tea!" Lotion cried defensively.

"My case." Tomoko shrugged, guesturing towards Lotion who scowled back at her.

"Fine, tea for the cultured, coffee for the rest of--er I mean no breaks!" Jun roared, tightening his grip on Nabiki, "This _will_ end now, when Ryoga Hibiki kills Ranma Saotome! Then, and only then will I release Nabiki! I wont let her go for a thousand dollars, only blood will sate my thirst! So come Ryoga-kun, kill Ranma and prove that you are the chosen one!" Jun said, knowing full well that Ryoga would die trying and that Ranma was the chosen one.

Instead however, Lotion scowled, stepped forward and said, "Master . . . let her go now. Or else."

"Or else what?" Jun demanded.

"Or else I will _make_ you let her go!" Lotion scowled!

Jun scoffed at her, "Nothing in the world can make me let go!"

Lotion glared at him for a moment, then shouted "Touch down!"

Jun's arms involuntarily shot up in victory! Nabiki skipped away, and Ryoga and Ranma came on!

**_To Be Continued . . ._**

* * *

Next chapter we'll watch Akane's progression through the tournament, then Jun bites off more than he can chew when he _finally _awakens the chosen one! But will it be Ranma, or Ryoga? When it's all over, Nabiki will tell everyone what Jun told her about the Nekekami, will the newly awakened Chosen One stand up to claim lordship over the neo-ninja assassins? Find out In . . . "Akane the Great!" 


	14. Akane the Great

**Part Forty?  
****Akane the Great**

* * *

"Curse you Han; I will make you pay for using my love of foot ball as a weapon against me!" Jun ran backwards, forcing his arms down and taking aim on Ryoga with his gun! He aimed for Hibiki's head, he took a deep breath and fi— 

No! Ranma leapt in at the last moment and punched Jun in the face! He squeezed the trigger, knowing that the odds of him actually hitting Ryoga were slim now, as Ranma's blow had knocked him to the side and forced his eyes shut, but he was determined to get his shot off all the same.

He hit. The sound of bullet penetrating flesh was one that Jun knew and loved, even with his eyes closed he knew he'd hit someone even before their surprised and pained gasp.

Jun grinned and opened his eyes, Ranma and Ryoga had stopped their attack though neither of them had been hit . . .

"M-master you . . ." Lotion said softly.

"This is _so_ not good." Nabiki decided.

"N-no . . . No way!" Tomoko cried, but weakly.

The three girls all seemed shocked, but only one of them fell to the ground dead.

Jun smiled. It was lucky he'd been able to focus his shot in time. Now things would get interesting.

* * *

Akane knew that _she_ was going to win the tournament, she knew that _she_ was the best fighter there was, Ranma just liked to mess with her mind and make her think that she wasn't twice as good as he was, it was all smoke and mirrors or something! 

That, and maybe he'd be more attracted to her if she could beat him and everyone else black and blue! It was worth a shot!

"Come on! Who wants some? I've got plenty of butt kicking to go around! Butts shall be kicked liberally, I spare no butt my mighty foot!" Akane cried a bit too dramatically. Now it is important to note that Akane had said all of this in the manner that she said it on purpose, to flush out opponents. She had noticed lately, more or less since meeting Ranma, that making such announcements usually made said gender swapping jerk fall out of various hiding places laughing and vulnerable, or made others appear ready for battle.

She was not disappointed, for though Ranma did not show himself, a disgustingly familiar voice said "How can you kick my butt, if you cannot reach it?"

Akane looked up to see the second oldest woman she had ever known sitting comfortably atop the ceiling. She cackled, she was Sentaro's grandmother!

Akane took up a fighting stance, how should she defeat this one? Then a thought came to her . . . "Hey, how are you sitting on the ceiling, there's nothing for you to grab on to, and I know you cant _really_ levitate!"

Sentaro's grandmother fell down in a fit of logic, and poor story telling. She hit her feeble old lady head and went unconscious. Akane felt a little guilty but when the voice over the loud speaker shouted "Akane Wins!" she forgot about the old bag and thrust her arms into the air for victory, made "V"s with her fingers for victory, danced for victory, asked victory if it'd like to come up to her apartment for 'coffee', she'd almost forgotten how _good_ it felt to win!

She was the king of the world!

Er Queen! The _queen _of the world!

She skipped away, ignoring poor Sentaro's grand mother, whose name, if ever it was given, had completely escaped her!

The youngest Tendo sister went merrily on her way through the maze, forgetting, more or less, about her desire to defeat Ranma. She figured she could still win the tournament if she just beat all the people that she knew for _sure_ that she was better than. She wished Shampoo had joined it, she really wanted to beat that busty Chinese bimbo into next Tuesday!

Now, adrenalin pounding through her, she rushed through the maze, more! More! She needed more opponents, more battles, and more victory! She needed to win!

It felt so good to win! No wonder Ranma never asked her for sex, this was like five billion times better, no wonder he was so addicted to winning, she'd forgotten the simply sinful sensations of victory!

"Forward to the kill!" She cried, got control of herself and amended, "I-er I mean forward to the malicious beating!"

"Hold it right there!" A loud and powerful voice cried!

Akane turned around to see . . . the insane evil escaped prisoner she and Ukyo had rescued from the mental institution!

"Do yore name starts wit da letter A?"

"Heck yes!" Akane cried, "I'm Akane the great, which starts with A and ends with Great! I'm so cool!"

The weird man raised an eyebrow, then nodded. "I's gotta eat you now."

Akane blinked. "Why?"

"I just gotta. The leprechaun said so."

"Oh . . . a leprechaun huh? Well . . . forget that, 'cause Akane the Great is gonna mess you up!"

The big man roared and charged Akane, a large spork in hand! Akane fell back into a defensive crouch, then sprang forward, leaping up into the air, and landing on the giant man's bald head!

She stomped down hard right between his eyes!

"RRRAAGGHH!" He roared, and Akane flipped off of his head, landing right behind him, she whipped out in a round house kick to his back! The giant roared again and fell face forward, Akane's arms shot up in victory!

"I own!" Akane cried.

"Dur, I's gonna eat yoo!" The giant roared, the battle obviously doing nothing to harm him, instead it was only wetting his appetite!

Akane scowled, "Fine! I'm game!" She said, "I'm going to beat you black and blue you . . . uh . . . flamingo!" She cried!

Aw man, that just wasn't cool! As Akane considered how totally uncool that line had been she got hit in the face by the giant man!

He hovered over her, spork in hand, "I's so hungered!" He cried.

Akane didn't even bother to mention how terrible this guy's sentence structure was; she kicked her legs back over her head and flipped up onto her feet just in time to be swept away by his charge! She yelped and got slammed into the wall!

"I wont give up!" She warned.

"I's gonna eat yoo wit honey sauce!" The giant said!

Akane scoffed, "Sh'yeah right! And blood is blue!"

"Blood _is _blue." Her father announced over the intercom, "It only turns red when you—"

"Oh shut up!" Akane cried, charging for the bald maniac!

They traded blows for an intense moment, rather Akane launched blow after blow, but the giant scowled, raised his hand and tried to hit her, but nimbly Akane the great dodged out of the way!

"You got nothing!" Akane cried, kicking the giant in the groin.

He didn't respond. She kicked him again, then a third time. She frowned, "What is _with_ you?"

"Prison justice." He said.

Akane blinked at him. "But you were in a mental institution . . ."

"Prison justice." He said again.

Akane blinked, then kicked him in the head, he flew back ten feet, and she leapt after him, landing on his nose! "I call this move the wine stomp!" She cried, stomping on his face.

But it didn't seem to hurt him. "What are you, some kind of cyborg?" Akane demanded.

Crazy giant guy kind of shrugged and Akane decided it was time for a super move!

"All right, that's it, AH-KAH-NE-HAA!" Akane cried, blasting crazy guy away with her awesome power which was so totally not stolen from that cartoon about the dragon who lost his balls.

Of course because it _was_ stolen from that cartoon it didn't work.

He punched her in the face . . .

It hurt . . .

Akane, holding her face shook her head. "All right!" She said, "I'm not going to show you any mercy! It's time to DIE!" She screamed, and charged for him!

Giant crazy guy scratched his head, and Akane leapt into the air and began pounding on his head to no effect, as she descended thanks to gravity her punches began to fall on his stomach, then his knees, finally she fell face down and sighed.

She looked up and glared, "You know, this is the part where you fall down!"

He blinked, "Oh!" He said, then fell down and pretended to be dead.

Akane blinked. "Oh . . . okay." Akane stood up and brushed herself off. "Man I kick butt!" She shouted.

"Quack!" A duck agreed.

Akane knew that duck was Mousse because few other ducks carried a pair of glasses with them. So she kicked him across the hallway.

"There are no opponents left in the labyrinth . . ." Ushio Kuroda's voice rang over the intercom, "So Akane Tendo, of the Tendo training hall is the victor!"

Akane blinked, and grinned, that meant one of these guys had beaten Ranma, and she'd beaten them! So . . . in a way, that meant she'd beaten Ranma! Yeah!

"All right!" Akane roared, "This was more of a battle royal, survival endurance thingy than a tournament, but who cares? I win! I am awesome! Ranma lost!"

"Actually, Ranma, Ryoga, Ukyo, Tofu, Anzu and Tomoko all forfeited."

Akane scowled at the camera and shouted, "Shut up! Don't steal this from me, I _won_! I'm the greatest!"

"Akane!" Her father cried, "Your sister has been kidnapped! Rouse Mousse and save her!"

Akane gasped, "Yes of course! I'm coming Kasumi!" She cried, grabbing the duck and running for . . . wherever. She wasn't really sure where the exit was.

"Actually, it was Nabiki who was kidnapped." Her father said.

Akane slowed down to a stop and tapped her chin.

"Well?" Her father and Ushio asked together.

"Yeah?" Akane raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't you going to save her?"

Akane considered that for a second, "Eh? Oh yeah sure, just give me a second." Nabiki was probably in trouble because she'd swindled someone, so she probably deserved whatever she got. Never the less she was her sister, and Akane loved her . . . at least enough to go save her.

Unfortunately she had no idea what she'd have to save her sister from . . .

* * *

The sound of gunfire was all too quickly becoming normal for Ryoga, but this one struck something inside of him, this sound was somehow . . . more significant. 

His eyes moved fast to the gun, though it was the bullet he should have been watching—not that he could have even if he wanted to, since it would have moved too quickly—he braced himself for the shot . . .

But it was not aimed at him.

Still it killed him.

When Nabiki, looking at the wound in her chest in disbelief, fell to the ground, Ryoga died.

His head began to throb, his chest began to ache, he looked at her crumbled form, his expression as unbelieving as hers had been . . . it couldn't be.

Slowly, as if a thousand tons of brick were tied to his legs, he walked to her, collapsing before her. Was he crying as he picked her up and held her in his arms?

He felt an odd burning sensation coursing through him, but he didn't care! All he could feel was pain, mental, physical, emotional, any sort of pain one can imagine, Ryoga felt! Nabiki had been his fiancée, but more than that, she'd been . . . everything to him.

He looked at her, was she still breathing? He couldn't tell! Was that slight rise and fall of her chest caused by his imagination and need to believe that she lived?

Maybe she was still alive! People got shot in the stomach all the time right?

But . . . this was more towards the chest . . . more towards the heart? What side of a person's chest was their heart located? Ryoga just couldn't remember!

Nothing else existed at that moment, just himself and Nabiki . . . only it couldn't stay that way!

Ryoga's head snapped around and his gaze landed on Jun, who didn't seem terribly sorry for what he'd done.

It wouldn't have mattered if he were, Ryoga realized then that that man had to die.

Unable to control the flow of emotions he felt then, Ryoga felt as if a dam inside him had broken, and with a yell that was pain, outrage, and surprise all at once Ryoga felt that energy escaping, refusing to be contained!

A bright pillar of light shot up from Ryoga then, and at first he didn't realize what it was, in the end, though the answer registered in the very back of his mind, it didn't matter.

Shi Shi Hokodan wouldn't bring Nabiki back.

* * *

Jun's jaw dropped when he saw Ryoga's pillar of light . . . 

He knew then that he'd made a big mistake.

Ranma was _not _the chosen.

* * *

Tosa gasped when she saw Ryoga's Shi Shi Hokodan. "Impossible!" 

Nobody could perform that technique properly, and Tosa hadn't even seen Ryoga go through any of the gestures, or even gather the energy for it, it just _happened_!

She knew then that her last conversation with Jun had been the last she would ever have. She smiled viciously, and decided she would not miss him. Foolishly he had tried to change the world without the guild's support or blessing, foolishly he had tried to awaken the most Unusual Ryoga Hibiki, and fortunately for the Nekekami, unfortunate for Jun, he had succeeded.

Ryoga Hibiki was the chosen one, the avatar of death, and Jun Koruda was his enemy, there would be no escape!

* * *

Ryoga's body was moving before he even gave the mental command! He shoved himself off the ground, twisted in mid air and hit the ground running for Jun before he even realized he'd stopped using the Hokodan! He swung his arm back as he ran before he even knew what he was going to do with it! 

Jun didn't have time to move before Ryoga reached him, his fist shot out like a battering ram, a blow that would have easily crushed a brick wall into dust!

Jun's hand came up feebly to stop the blow, but it did nothing! Ryoga's fist flew, crushing Jun's arm to his face and sending the older man flying off of the roof!

Ryoga threw himself over the side without thinking, landed a few feet away from Jun, and rushed for him! Jun had landed on his feet and began running backwards in an attempt to flee while lining up a shot with his gun.

If he'd just turned around, ran and never looked back he might have gotten away.

But Ryoga was too fast, and as Jun backpedaled he ran over some bushes and tripped!

Ryoga was on him in a flash, he shoved the gun out of the way and punched Jun again!

Before the murderous slime even had time to fall to the ground Ryoga grabbed him by the neck and lifted him off the ground. Not such a hard thing for him, considering his umbrella probably weighed more.

Jun squirmed, and Ryoga began to feel . . . good! He grinned darkly and tightened his grip. "How do you like death?" He asked cruelly, but Jun was too busy suffocating to answer.

Ryoga wouldn't let him die like that.

No . . . not quite like that.

He dropped Jun on the ground.

"Get up." He said darkly.

Jun blinked a few times, then holding his own neck and coughing he stood up. "M-my lord!" He said, "I live to serve you!"

Ryoga slapped him . . . hard. He flew at least five feet.

* * *

Ranma saw Ryoga's attack, but didn't believe it would be as powerful as it was! 

He fought within himself then . . . it was pretty obvious that if Ryoga kept up his assault he'd kill Jun . . .

Ranma had to wonder . . . if that'd be such a bad thing. Jun had killed Nabiki, would have killed Anzu, had probably meant to kill Ranma himself and Ryoga as well! Ranma fought within himself, wondering whether or not he should save Jun . . . did the assassin deserve it?

Of course not! Ranma shouldn't have to save Jun! But . . . Ryoga didn't deserve to live with the burden of being a killer like Jun and Lotion. Ranma cursed silently, and wished that those two had never walked into his life. Things had been so much less complicated . . .

He threw himself over the wall and landed hard on the ground, he charged after Jun, who was trying to plead with Ryoga now, "Please master! I sought you out so that you could take your rightful place as the head of the guild! I sought you out to rebuild The Cabal, and conquer the underworld!"

Ryoga laughed, it was not a pleasant sound, it was a dark, hateful noise that sent a chill down Ranma's spine.

"You're talking nonsense." He said coldly, "The dying words of a dying man."

"But my king, I did not mean to harm her!"

"Doesn't mean much now." Ryoga said with a shrug. "She's gone, you die."

"Hold it Ryoga!" Ranma shouted, "Don't do this! Don't lower yourself to this scumbag's standards!"

Ryoga scoffed, "Shut up Ranma. You're next."

"What?" Ranma snapped.

"Now that Nabiki's gone I don't have any _reason_ to stay in Nerima. I want to get as far away from it as I can, but first I'll fulfill my vow and kill you."

"No-no-no, did you just tell me to shut up?" Ranma demanded! Why the heck did people keep saying that? Now he had to say something witty, and he was too frazzled to think of anything! "Well you . . . you're so lame you couldn't even kill _time_ if you wanted!" _Man that was a _good _one! Good job!_ Ranma mentally congratulated himself for his ability to be _this_ cool under such pressure.

"We'll see whose dead at the end of the day." Ryoga said with a shrug, he reached out and grabbed Jun by the collar.

_Progress_, Ranma thought, at least _he wasn't grabbing him by the neck anymore. Maybe a bit more reasoning?_

"Ryoga, would Nabiki want you to do this?"

"Who cares?" Ryoga laughed as he lifted Jun off the ground, "I want me to do this. We _need_ this, both Nabiki and I need to see justice done."

* * *

Lotion scowled when she saw her. Tosa! 

"What do you want?" Lotion demanded.

"My dear Han, fear not! I am not here to punish you for collaborating against Jun-kun. I have come to welcome the guild's newest member, nay, our new leader."

"No." Lotion said calmly. "Not happening."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I will not let you bring Ryoga into the guild."

"But why? Once Jun is dead you and I will be his bridge into the guild, you will become powerful, more powerful than Jun ever was! I will become more powerful than I have dared dream! _We_ will rule the entire underworld, _through_ our master, and our master is Ryoga Hibiki! What part of this genius plan do you not understand?"

"Ryoga . . . my _friend_ cannot kill Jun. He is _better_ than that, if he kills Jun he will put an end to the wonderful person that he is and in heart die also. I cannot let him kill himself tonight." Lotion smiled, "I am something of a big sister to them you see, I cannot let them get into trouble."

Tosa smiled a thin smile, "Charming. Unfortunately this does mean that I shall have to eliminate you after all. No . . . 'eliminate' is such a vague word. I want to . . . ah, let's see . . . take your life away, I plan to silence your soul, I shall . . . oh! _Kill_ you, yes that's the word I sought. I will _kill_ you. Then I will kill all of these fools who've taken you in, how's that sound?"

Tomoko, who had been checking Nabiki for vital signs looked up and snapped, "Shut up mate! I've had enough over dramatics, if you're gonna kill someone don't go on and on about it! I say just do it—like this!" Tomoko shouted, and her hand moved like lightning!

Tosa threw herself to the side, easily avoiding Tomoko's flying dagger—at least that's what Lotion assumed it was—but failed to avoid Tomoko!

The younger woman sprang forward even as she released the blade, she leapt up and kicked Tosa in the head! Tomoko's other leg came spinning around for a second blow!

But the assassin threw herself back and out of harm's way, Tomoko landed behind her and hit the deck, Tosa stood up, laughing until Tomoko's boomerang—for that was what she'd thrown—slammed into her chest!

Tomoko got up, grinning. "Such hot snot eh? Maybe I'm more interested 'n boys than I am 'n martial arts, but at least I _can_ fight!" Tomoko stepped on Tosa's chest and retrieved her boomerang. She sneered, "Now put yer hands where I can see 'em."

Tosa smiled, "Very well. I will concede. I admit defeat."

Tomoko grinned at Lotion, "That wasn't so har—ugh!"

She fell to the ground! Tosa shoved her away and stood up, brushing herself off. "Look girl, I'm a real martial artist. I'm a genuine killer, you're . . . well you're a pathetic little nothing. A never was, a never will be. What's your name? Your name is Trash! I _let_ you kick me so I could administer the toxin you're enjoying now, it _was_ a nice bit with the boomerang, but lets be real, what have you done if not simply annoy me enough to ensure your death?"

Tosa grinned wickedly, "That is . . . unless Han Lo-Chun can stop me."

Lotion scoffed. "Stop you? No mistress that is not the right word." The Amazon took a step forward, she could feel her heart trying to escape from her rib cage, but refused to let her fear show! "I want to . . . slit your throat. I plan to . . . rape you with cold steel. I shall . . . Oh! _Kill_ you, that is the word I sought."

"And here I'd thought you'd turned over a new leaf." Tosa smirked.

"Well I can do nothing about your stupidity other than put you out of everyone's misery mistress. Ryoga and Ranma are the pure ones who must not kill. I am nothing more or less than the monster I allowed the Nekekami to make me, I _can_ kill, and I _will_ kill to make sure that they do not have to." Lotion drew forth her knives, the tactic that she'd planned for Maro wouldn't work on Tosa, who was in fact the poisons mistress. She would probably have built an immunity to the poisons Lotion carried, the overall strategy involved Maro overusing his fans and Tosa did not even own fans.

None the less Lotion could win this fight!

Maybe . . .

She noticed Tomoko stir, maybe she wouldn't be alone in this fight. But if she couldn't stop Ryoga from killing Jun it wouldn't matter anyway.

The younger assassin closed her eyes, _I cannot lay a hand on her, or I will be poisoned._ Lotion thought to herself, then with a smile she opened her eyes. Tosa was standing there, ready to fight, Lotion thought to herself, _If I am fighting for the good guys, doesn't that mean I should win no matter the odds?_

She laughed once at her own stupidity, she knew even before she sprang for Tosa that she was dead.

* * *

Tatewaki Kuno was not one to give up easily. When his left leg finally moved, he simply told himself that if it would do so, there was no reason his right leg might not also move. 

And it did.

He struggled and got to his legs, the doctor whose name was unimportant said something about taking it easy.

Fool.

Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno would take nothing easily, defeat in particular! All things taken must be taken through force and effort, and this kidnapper had just thrown a great deal of force and effort into angering Tatewaki!

He gripped his sword, and climbed the stairs. Nabiki, he would save Nabiki!

* * *

"I want me to do this. We _need_ this, both Nabiki and I need to see justice done." Ryoga said. 

_Kill him! Show him who the weak one is! Kill him!_ Ryoga thought.

'No . . . I shouldn't have to prove anything to this man.' Ryoga corrected himself. 'He's not worth the trouble!'

_Trouble? What trouble? This is pleasure! I can sense his fear and it feels so good! Better than anything else, better than anything imaginable!_

'Except being with Nabiki . . . and killing him won't bring her back!' Ryoga told himself firmly.

_But then it wont need to, will it? I'll just kill more people, I'll kill Ranma, and then everyone else, I'll kill and kill and kill and never stop long enough to feel the pain!_

'Nabiki wouldn't have wanted that!'

_Oh she's too busy being dead to tell us what she wants._

Ryoga blinked. "Us?" he whispered. It seemed a perfectly normal thing to think, and yet . . .

_No more time to waste talking to myself, I'd better just kill this guy now, and move on to Ranma!_

Ryoga glared at Jun, a cruel smile crossed his face. "Will you serve me, assassin?"

"Yes my king!" Jun gasped.

"Faithfully?" Ryoga asked.

"With all my heart!" Jun pleaded.

Ryoga's smile grew even darker. "To the death?"

"And beyond!" Jun nodded.

Ryoga dropped him. "Prove it." He said darkly.

"Ryoga no!" Ranma shouted, he sprang forward and punched Ryoga in the back of the head, and who knew how many times the speedy Ranma managed to do it in the split second that Ryoga was open to him?

And what did it matter? Ryoga fell to his knees from the force of so many blows, he clutched his head and groaned.

_Saotome dies now!_

'No . . . wait . . .'

_No time for debate, I have to stop talking to myself and get down to business!_ Ryoga thought, _I have to kill!_

Ryoga stood up, Ranma kicked Jun to the ground and said, "Let him go to prison Ryoga! I've been there, I know what kind of place it is, he won't like it one bit! Let 'im be tried for her murder, let 'im pay the price, let actual justice be done, not this!"

_Shut him up! Shut him up permanently!_ Ryoga thought loudly!

The young man stood up and took a deep breath, clenched his fists at his side, "Ranma . . . thanks for knocking some sense into me. What was I thinking? You're right . . . we need to take him to the police, c'mon . . . let's get the others."

"That's better . . ." Ranma said cautiously, he eyed Ryoga suspiciously.

Ryoga let tears flow from his eyes, he let his voice crack as he said, "You'll have to . . . I cant . . . I don't think I can move Nabiki's b-body."

"O-of course!" Ranma said, relaxing a bit. "N-no problem man. I understand."

He patted Ryoga on the shoulder, the other boy smiled at him.

It was not a friendly smile.

His hand shot up with a speed that could not compare to Ranma Saotome's, but was still quite adequate, he gripped Ranma by the neck and squeezed tightly, but not tightly enough to cause any permanent damage, "No Ranma . . . you _don't_ understand." Ryoga threw him aside, "You don't know what it's like to lose everything in one second, and to have the person responsible under your power. You can't know how I feel, your biggest complaint is turning into a girl!"

"That's a pretty big deal!" Ranma coughed.

"Shut up!" Ryoga roared.

"There it is again!" Ranma snapped, "Man! Look Ryoga, maybe my biggest problem _is_ turnin' into a girl, but at least when I'm a girl I can still fight, not like P-Chan!"

"Shut up!" Ryoga repeated.

Ranma sneered, "Nope. _You_ shut up, man!" Ranma slammed his fist into the ground and tore up some odd black cylinder.

Ryoga stared at it for a moment, and it was just a moment before the water erupted like a geyser! Ranma got soaked, and as it came down Ryoga realized he would too!

He didn't have his umbrella!

"Ranma . . . Ranma I'll never forgive y—eee!" Ryoga screamed and then squealed as he became P-Chan, the worthless, useless, fat, stupid, and unforgivably weak pig!

_No! No! This is unacceptable! Unacceptable!_

'You're telling me!' Ryoga thought.

_Useless! You're useless!_

'Yeh-wha? What was that?' Ryoga wondered.

_You may be the god of murder, but you are dormant. When your powers awaken you may be of some use to me, but as you are now you are just a weak, diseased boy! Not yet even a man!_

'Who are you?' Ryoga demanded, 'I know you're not me!'

_True, I am not weak as you are. But your condition will change in time . . . some day you will become useful, and I will be waiting._

'I will never be useful to you!' Ryoga thought bitterly.

_Oh no? What else is there for you to do if not become strong and take the destiny that awaits you? You have lost your lover and made enemies of your friends. Soon enough you will turn, soon enough you will awaken, soon enough you will become mine._

Ryoga closed his eyes, 'Who are you?' He asked again.

_When you awaken my brother, you will know the answer._

And with that, Ryoga somehow felt a strange pressure leave his head, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why. Someone had been manipulating him, and who knew for how long?

Unfortunately now he was lost, what could he do? He was a pig—thanks to Ranma—and unable to do anything but oink and eat truffles!

He didn't even know where to find truffles!

Ryoga glared at Ranma, then at Jun only Jun wasn't there!

He'd disappeared!

Ranma reached down and picked Ryoga up, "I know it's hard. I know ya think I don't understand, an' maybe I don't. But I _can_ sympathize, and I'm going t' help you.

'Oh screw you Ranma, I don't want sympathy.' Ryoga thought darkly. 'I want revenge.'

"Let's go back." Ranko said softly, "Jus' forget Jun. We'll get him . . . together."

'Sounds a bit closer to what I want to hear . . . oh but what does it matter?' Ryoga thought miserably, Nabiki was _gone_! He might as well not be alive.

* * *

Lotion leapt into the air, she watched Tosa closely but the master assassin stood perfectly still. 

The Amazon threw first one knife, then the other, she hit the ground hard, but on her feet, she glared at Tosa.

Tosa had deftly caught both daggers, just as Lotion had meant for her to do.

She drew another pair and sprang forward again, she met the master blade to blade!

Tosa's blade clashed with hers, Lotion shuddered as the blades rang for Tosa's strength was surprising and the smaller woman shoved Lotion's arms wide, and kicked her in the face with a high kick that would have made a cheer leader squeak with envy!

Lotion forced herself to recover quickly and though her lower jaw hurt and she was seeing spots she smiled in Tosa's pretty face, and spat blood out onto it.

Tosa didn't seem phased at all, she just dropped low and swept Lotion's legs out from under her, the Amazon fell like a sack of potatoes.

She smiled weakly at the master assassin and said "Time to die."

"Indeed. For you." Tosa smiled, standing over her.

"It must be hard . . . being wrong so often." Lotion said, her foot rose about an inch off the ground, then slammed back, forcing a blade out, then she kicked up for Tosa's back!

The assassin easily dodged to the side, grabbed lotion's boot and twisted her ankle around to a terribly unnatural position.

Lotion couldn't help but scream, at least until Tosa's foot slammed into her chest, knocking all the wind out of her. "Don't you understand child? I am no Unusual filth like you. What I am I have become through pure skill, and experience. You are nothing, at best before you were Jun's pet, now with him as good as dead you are not even that."

Tosa knelt down now, her knee on Lotion's throat, she placed one of Lotion's own blades against the Amazon's heart, "Think you've got the heart of a warrior little girl? Lets find out. You'll be alive long enough to see it, once I cut it out of you."

She raised the knife into the air, and brought it down hard!

A flash came between Han and Tosa, and the dagger went flying through the air! The master assassin fell backwards off of Lotion as the slightly overdressed Tatewaki Kuno stood over her.

Han Lo-Chun, or rather Hand Lotion had never, _never_ seen anything look better than that pompous and yet so incredibly wonderful samurai!

He said not a word, which Lotion realized was unusual, and kept his eyes on Tosa, his sword held at the ready!

Lotion struggled to her feet and coughed a bit more blood. She reached with shaking hands for her final weapon and grinned at Tosa.

"Tell me mistress . . . could I have survived in the guild so long if I . . . were as incompetent a I seemed?" She closed her eyes.

It had been a long time since she'd given in to the teachings of the guild and used the very taint that made her an Unusual to kill another human being.

Her eyes opened.

Ranma and Ryoga would be worth it . . . if she wasn't too late. Tosa had to be stopped . . .

Her eyes _opened_.

The world changed, light and dark became more powerful, colors existed but who cared? The world was no longer a thing of color, it was a thing of movement!

She smiled and saw a look of uncertainty spread slowly across Tosa's face. She saw the dagger she'd _given_ the top assassin do its working and she, Lotion, leapt forward with speed that took the smaller woman off guard!

She slammed a gloved fist into Tosa's face, then leapt behind the woman and tried to elbow her in the spine!

But Tosa spun around and deflected the blow, and slammed the hilt of Lotion's dagger into the back of the younger woman's head.

Lotion had sort of expected Kuno to jump in and attack Tosa's back, but that was a stupid mistake. He'd never do something so dishonorable she realized.

Didn't matter, Lotion ducked low and fell to the ground, allowing Tosa a second to believe he was incapacitated, before sweeping around and knocking the older woman's legs out from under her! Lotion was on her before she could blink let alone get up, and clutching her final weapon, Lotion smiled.

"Congratulations! You're dead!" She laughed, and shoved the hand grenade down the assassin's throat!

"Are you mad?" Kuno yelped, "The explosion will kill us all!"

Lotion coughed a bit more blood, her life was at its end. But she had to admit it had been a little stupid since the explosion would endanger all her friends sleeping off the effect of Maro's illusions. She hadn't really been thinking, she usually didn't when she gave in to her Unusual side.

But she didn't have enough fight left in her to stop Jun now anyway, and she wouldn't face an awoken Ryoga knowing that she'd been a major factor in the guild's discovery of him.

So she simply died . . .

At least she should have! Tosa spat the grenade out and shoved Lotion away. She held the grenade and snidely counted to twenty. "Seems you've caught me in a lie, Lotion. I _am _an Unusual. Unusually good that is at killing people. You? You're just awful! You have to pull the pin you idiot!"

"Oh blast . . . I knew I'd forgotten something!"

Tosa laughed sinisterly, then stopped, she screamed instead and dropped the dagger she held and clutched her hand, she glared at Lotion, "What . . . what did you do?"

"The hilts of those daggers . . . were coated with a lovely poison . . . one found exclusively . . . in my village. There's no way . . . you'd know of it. It paralyzes you just by coming . . . in contact with your skin and when administered to both hands it creeps up your arms and spreads through your torso! Maybe your natural resistance to poisons will stop it before it stops your heart . . . but I doubt it." Lotion smiled darkly.

"But _you_ held them!" Tosa cried.

Lotion smiled, "Gloves." She said, showing her gloved hands to Tosa, "I win."

"Oh you've won all right!" Tosa screamed, she held the grenade up and then brought it towards her mouth with her still working hand!

She meant to bite the pin out and she would have succeeded . . . but just before it could reach, her arm fell limp at her side and the grenade dropped to the ground and rolled.

"It is a shame you did not . . . hold onto the other dagger longer." Lotion winked, "But at least . . . you held it long enough . . . to receive a bit of my poison."

Tosa smiled wickedly and said, "Very well. I do hope for your sake that this poison kills me . . . because if it does not, once I return to the Guild you will be at the top of our most wanted list! You will be killed on sight!" Tosa laughed, "And I'll see to it that we spread the word to other guilds, you won't be safe no matter where you go!" And with that the smaller woman leapt from the roof of Furinkan High and sped off into the shadows.

Lotion looked lovingly at Kuno but he'd already gone over to check on Nabiki.

'Oh fine then! Maybe you're not the man for me after all . . . hey, I wonder if I'm a lesbian!' Lotion thought to herself, then collapsed and wondered if anyone would care enough to stop her from drowning in a pool of her own blood.

* * *

Akane the great arrived on scene with Mousse entirely too late to be useful. Jun and Tosa had fled, everyone had woken up and Maro was tied up right nicely by Tomoko who said she knew a thing or two about tying people up, and winked suggestively at Mousse, but he didn't see it. 

What shocked Akane most was her sister, Nabiki. How could she have hesitated to help Nabiki?

She'd never live it down now!

She expected her sister to scream at her and say something to the effect of "What took you so long, brat? I mean what the heck? I got shot, Akane! _Shot_!"

But Nabiki just lay there pale and motionless.

Ranma held tightly to P-Chan, and Akane was quickly made to understand that while they had turned Ryoga and Ranma back to normal—they having been transformed to woman and pig during the battle—Ryoga had proven untrustworthy when he tried to strangle Maro . . . twice, so he was confined to pig form.

Akane gave him a gentle pat on the head—though it didn't make him look any less surly—and she said, "It's okay Ryoga. She'll be okay."

But that didn't really mean that Akane was sure, it was more of a wish.

Now she sat next to her sister's bed in the hospital waiting for some sign of life beyond what the machines told her.

"Will you ever wake up Nabiki?" She asked.

Akane didn't feel great, she didn't feel invincible.

Nabiki had been invincible, unstoppable, too far beyond _everything_ to get hurt. Never before had the rivals and foes that came to challenge Ranma aimed to kill anyone _besides _Ranma. Akane glanced at Ranma, and wondered if he felt sorry for all this.

'He'd better!' she thought.

She looked at P-Chan, whom she held forcefully in her lap. Akane had been given custody of Ryoga's easier to handle form when Anzu got tired of him biting her hand. He was responsible too, and in a major way. Did he feel sorry?

Probably, but did he feel sorry enough? Again Akane could only think 'He'd better!'

It was because of these two that she'd almost lost her sister, if Nabiki didn't pull through Akane wasn't sure what she'd do in the long run, but short term she suspected she'd beat Ranma and Ryoga black and blue. She wasn't really sure what else to do.

* * *

Nabiki's eyes opened slowly, she saw Akane sitting next to her, and holding P-Chan, she saw Ranma leaning against a wall, and spotted Kasumi standing in the doorway talking to a doctor other than Tofu. 

She wondered for a moment why she was in pain, and decided she'd rather not know.

"Kasumi?" She asked.

Kasumi turned to her and walked away from the doctor mid-conversation. "Are you all right?" She asked.

"I got shot, didn't I? Of course I'm not all right." Nabiki said with a weak smile.

"Fast recovery, very good," The doctor said quietly sounding oddly disappointed, "I was hoping you'd be under longer, the news crews aren't here yet."

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "Get him away from me." She said, and Kasumi complied.

"Thank you for all your help doctor, but my sister needs rest right now." The eldest Tendo said calmly.

The doctor shrugged and handed Kasumi a piece of paper, "All right. Well you'll be wanting this."

Kasumi blinked at it, "Is this supposed to be the bill?"

"What? No, that's my phone number. Call me, eh? Around noonish."

"Uh-huh." Kasumi said, and as soon as the doctor left, she ripped up the paper in half and threw is away.

Nabiki gazed at Ranma and Ryoga, fast asleep in a chair, and Akane standing against the wall and yet also sleeping. "Kasumi . . . did Ryoga . . . kill anybody?" She asked.

"No." Kasumi said. "Ranma stopped him just in time."

"Oh . . . good." She said, she didn't sound honest.

"Are you okay?" Kasumi asked.

Nabiki shook her head, "Did you just ask me that _again_? I've been shot, woman!"

"Sorry." Kasumi smiled. "You seem okay."

"He never meant to kill me." Nabiki said.

"What?" Kasumi blinked.

"He didn't want me to die." Nabiki explained, "The shot seemed accidental, but I don't think it was. Not _really_. He needed me alive, just like he needed Akane alive. Nobody else mattered, but he needed me."

"Why?" Kasumi asked, "What did he tell you?"  
Nabiki took a deep breath, she glanced at Ranma, Ryoga and Akane. "Dad never hears about this, all right? And you shouldn't tell Akane either."

"What about Ranma and Ryoga?" Kasumi asked.

Nabiki frowned, "Best they not know either."

"Very well . . . tell me what the trouble is." Kasumi said.

Nabiki took a deep breath, "You know the world of organized crime, Kasumi?"

"Well . . . after a fashion, but those days are behind me." Kasumi said.

Nabiki blinked at her, Kasumi wasn't sure if she wanted a further explanation of not, so she didn't offer one.

"Yes . . . well organized crime has existed for years and years, as you know. Well for well over a thousand years there was just one source."

"The illuminati?" Kasumi giggled.

Nabiki's eye twitched, and Kasumi remembered they were supposed to be serious, "No. All of organized crime was controlled centrally by one organization, known as The Cabal. The Cabal had a council of elders, each one representing one of the one ten zones, I don't really know where the zones were located, but I do know that Japan had its very own zone that crossed over only slightly into China."

"O—kay . . ." Kasumi frowned, wondering what the point of this was. Surely Jun had been crazy, he'd lied. What one organization could rule the crime world?

"There was a king, or some sort of leader, I don't remember what they called him. But he'd been alive for over a century, when he finally died it was foretold that a new king would rise up to take his place as the lord of all death and murder."

Kasumi blinked, "Sounds dreadful." She said.

Nabiki shrugged, "Well when he died there was a power vacuum, and the elders of the zones began to try to establish themselves as the new kings. People were sold out, murdered, it all happened around the same time as the world wars, so hardly anyone noticed."

Nabiki tried to sit up, groaned and lay back down. "They've been at war for generations, the zones have broken down into guilds, the guilds seek to reclaim the power of The Cabal, and the Japanese guild, the Nekekami, or Spirit Cats guild, is one of the forerunners. There are two other guilds that can oppose them, but I don't know what they are. The assassin only said that since the Chinese guild was assimilated into the European guild it was assumed they would use their combined strength to conquer everything, but something happened. Somehow someone cut the head off the snake, they killed or crippled the head of that guild leaving another power vacuum, and while all the guilds try to take whatever they can from that space Jun or the Nekekami decided to instead try to find Unusuals."

"You've lost me." Kasumi interrupted, "Unusual what?"

"People. Anyone with unusual traits, Ranma, Ryoga, Mr. Saotome, Shampoo, Mousse and even Taro are all considered Unusuals because they can change form. The endurance, speed, strength all of that _was_ learned and yet at the same time it is so far beyond what normal people can accomplish even if they work their whole lives, that that too makes Ranma and Ryoga Unusual. That alone would have caused them to be taken into the Nekekami at a young age, but somehow they slipped under the radar. Until Lotion came into our lives, she recognized them immediately and sent word back."

"So she betrayed us?" Kasumi frowned.

"At first, yes. But as time went on Jun noticed that her reports were less detailed, and she would deny things. Naturally this made him wonder and when he arrived and surveyed the scene he immediately decided that based on what Lotion had said before she started to protect Ranma and Ryoga, they were exceptionally powerful."

"Well they _are_ very good fighters." Kasumi nodded.

"Beyond that, he believed them to be the chosen ones." Nabiki explained, "The one of them is the spirit of murder and death."

"You mean as you are the spirit of Diao Chan?" Kasumi reasoned.

"Yes, and just as my power didn't awaken until after I'd had sex for the first time, theirs wont awaken until after they've killed for the first time."

"But Ranma—"

"It has to be a murder, a violent and completely premeditated murder. Once they've done this their true powers will awaken and the entire underworld will be theirs!" Nabiki said, sounding excited! She shook her head violently, and settled down, "Uh, I mean that's why Ryoga shouldn't kill anyone. We cant ever let them commit a murder Kasumi."

"But perhaps if they took control of the guilds they could stop all crime, everywhere!" Kasumi said.

"Kasumi . . . I'm the spirit of a whore. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to turn down sex? How are they going to turn down killing?"

Kasumi frowned, "So which of them do you think it is?" Kasumi asked.

Nabiki shook her head, "Does it matter? We wont let them find out, right Kasumi?"

Somehow Kasumi felt doubt in her heart. What were Nabiki's limits . . . how far _would_ she go? If Ryoga were king of the underworld . . . he'd be wealthy and as his queen so would she.

Would she really use him in such a way? No, certainly not. And yet the way she spoke . . .

Kasumi smiled and said, "Let us forget the entire thing, lets just focus on the here and now, and not worry about guilds."

"Well . . ." Nabiki said, "They'll probably come back, actually."

"And we'll be ready." Kasumi said, "But no one will die."

"That's just it," Nabiki frowned, "_We _may not want to let our boys kill . . . they won't have any such hesitation."

Kasumi thought of the rage Ryoga had flown into when he though Nabiki dead. "They might even target us to get at them, to force their hands." Kasumi said.

"Exactly." Nabiki said softly.

"What will we do?" Kasumi asked.

Nabiki smiled, "Try to be cheerful, and live life normally. When they come, we'll stop them. But we won't kill them. From what I gathered the guilds are burning themselves out, they're damaged beyond repair as it is, if they don't have their new king soon they'll cease to be. The world of crime will change . . . probably for the better. We just have to outlive them."

Kasumi nodded. "Right."

* * *

He stood where Jun had stood, and looked at the damaged earth. 

His shoulder length white hair whipped about in the wind, his large and heavy bag slung over his shoulder, and his coat buttoned up tight against the cold the young man said softly to himself, "I'm closing in."

He'd done his best to read the battle, and he'd guessed who the victors had been. He was unfortunate, how he wished he could have been there, he could have taken them then, with the distraction of . . . whomever they had been fighting.

From what he could tell three or four Spirit Cats had been here, and two had left on their feet, the others were carried away.

There were two different trails to follow, and both were expertly disguised, the youth decided it might be best to keep a close eye instead on the winners of the battle.

The Spirit Cats would return for their revenge, and when they did he would be there, watching. And if he caught sight of his targets, he would get the information he needed.

Beyond that, nothing mattered. The only thing that meant anything to him was finding the information, finding out the truth, and seeing where to go from there.

Every day he was delayed only improved the chances that he would never reach his goal, but the youth knew how to be patient. He was certain the Spirit Cats held the last piece of the puzzle, that by taking them he would finally reach his goal, he could finally rest.

Anyone who got in the way of that? Well they'd just have to be dealt with.

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Next Time:** _The gang decides to lick their wounds . . . by going to an amusement park? But not all's well when Ryoga gets lost and finds something he most definately never wanted to find! Something's got Kasumi upset to boot and she won't speak to Tofu, and the Tendo/Koruda grudge match blazes on as Ranma valiantly defends the tea cup ride!_

**Author's Note:** To anyone who actually reads this note the story was at one point discontinued, along with all my other works because I had decided to go on hiatus, this decision was not actually intentional, but things just kept coming up and coming up and after a while I figured "oh who cares, the readers have moved on by now" so I worked on original stuff instead. But I know that even if no one else does, I still care and so I must finish what I began here. If I ever became a published writer, I couldn't just take a vacation whenever I wanted to, I'd be in the poor house! So just as is as practice ground for aspiring writers, I shall also use it to practice responsibility . . . now if only I could find some way to get paid to write so I wouldn't have to spend ten hours a day at work . . . well anyway I'm back, my original works are on hold until my fan fictions are finished.  
Vote for me in 08!


	15. Roller Coaster Rejects

**Note: **To my kind readers, I will keep coming back as long as you do . . . my only hope is that I can increase the pace of these updates and finish the story soon.

**Charlottel's** **Sequel  
****Chapter Fourteen  
****Roller Coaster Rejects!**

It'd been a week since Nabiki's injury, and she was finally coming home from the hospital.

Actually she'd been good enough to come home for two days now but apparently the doctor hadn't wanted to discharge her because two of his nurses had quit so he needed some kind of sosle, or S.O.S. Lay, he'd said.

He'd given up when Nabiki started talking about the kids she had at home and how much they'd love to have a new daddy.

Ryoga shifted uneasily, "Uh, hey Ranma." He said, leaning against the pigtailed boy's door.

"Yeah?" Ranma asked.

"I wanted to talk . . . about before. What I said—"

"Don't worry." Ranma said with a grin, "I know you meant it so don't try to act like you didn't. But I'll forgive ya . . . that was a weird night. Scary."

Ryoga shrugged. "It was definitely weird." He said. He hadn't told anyone that he'd heard voices.

"Just uh . . . don't ever tell me to shut up again, okay?" Ranma asked. "I cant stand it when people say that!"

"What, like the sound of your voice too much to listen?" Ryoga jeered. Ranma glared at him and he held up his hands, "Uh I mean yeah, no problem."

* * *

Nabiki had been home for just a few minutes when she felt she might need to return to the hospital! Everyone hugged her, it hurt. Her injury wasn't fully healed and that was her excuse for having Akane do all her chores, and the violent youngest sister was surprisingly eager to help her injured sister. 

Kasumi was sitting across from her at the table, her face grave which was downright unusual. "Have you given any thought to college?"

"Yes actually," Nabiki said, "Kuno-baby visited me in the hospital and talked about the place he's going to. Says it's still not too late for me."

"Are you going to go there?" Kasumi asked.

"I don't know." Nabiki said.

"You should." Kasumi said, you don't have any other options short of just not going for a year."

"What's wrong with that one?" Nabiki asked.

"Nothing, aside from the fact that you'd waste a year of your life, give in to your malicious intents and not go at all." Kasumi shrugged, "But then, I didn't go at all."

"Well you had an excuse, you were watching me and Akane. If you weren't such good big sister and parent figure who knows how we could've turned out Kasumi?

"You'd have gotten pregnant at sixteen." Kasmi said. "Akane at fifteen, same orgy you get knocked up at. I'd have married into wealth and asked my husband to pay your way only to be rewarded with malice later when you stole him for yourself."

Nabiki blinked. "You've thought this up."

"I saw a movie like it." Kasumi shrugged.

"No more TV for you." Nabiki yawned.

"I need to get out of the house." Kasumi said finally.

"Uh . . . okay." Nabiki said. "I was just going to call you pasty, but yeah I guess your self insult works too."

"It wasn't an insult, it was a statement of fact. I would enjoy some fresh air, I think we all would. Lets go to a theme park. You know the one I mean, the one with the mouse."

"Ugh!" Nabiki groaned, "I _hate_ that place, how can anyone honestly like that place? No way big sister, that's one trend I will not get into."

"Oh please . . . for me?"

Nabiki frowned. She guessed an amusement park wouldn't be such a bad idea, true almost every employee who worked there was a superior minded jerk, the lines were grossly long and everything was overpriced . . . then there was that darn mouse . . . but Kasumi always asked so little . . . would Nabiki really be such a cruel younger sister and refuse to go with her?

"Fine. But I will not like it." Nabiki said honestly.

"Oh yes you will, everyone does." Kasumi said with a relieved smile.

"They _say_ that because they'd feel pretty stupid paying close to two hundred thousand yen for something they hate. They lie so that their friends will go, you know mysery loves company. That's the foundation of my relationship with Ryoga, his misery makes him more willing to accept my . . . company, if you know what I mean."

"I don't think I want do know, but I do." Kasumi smiled.

"So I take it we're taking the whole clan then?" Nabiki asked.

"Well yes, everyone who was part of that fiasco with the Nek—uh . . . with _those people_ will be stressed, we should all relax together."

"Fine. I take it you'll be asking Dr. Tofu?" Nabiki asked, her tone suggestive.

It'd be a great chance for Kasumi to—

"No. No I don't think I will." Kasumi admitted. "I . . . have nothing to say to him right now really."

"Oh!" Nabiki said, taken aback by the venomous undertone of Kasumi's voice. So . . . what was the—

"You should not ask Kuno." Kasumi pointed out.

"What do you mean? He helped." Nabiki said.

"Yes. But . . . this is time better spent with Ryoga and Ryoga alone."

"Oh Kasumi," Nabiki laughed, "Are you trying to hint at something?" Nabiki was perfectly aware of the fact, or at least held a strong suspicion that Kasumi had seen her kissing Kuno at some time.

Kasumi's eyes betrayed nothing, "I just think it is a good opportunity for you to spend time with the man you agreed to marry. Will you still marry him?"

Nabiki thought for a moment, "Yeah, he's all right." She said, even though what she'd thought was quite different. That's just what came out, and she could tell by the unconvinced look on Kasumi's face that it had not been accepted in the same spirit as her intended "yes I love him with all my heart"

* * *

He watched the assembly of warriors, they could almost start their own guild with that number! 

How he hated the guilds. How he hated any secret organization with evil designs.

These ones did not seem evil though, just like a very large gathering of friends with varying degrees of enthusiasm for this amusement park they planned to visit.

He crept along, this could get tricky. Saotome and Hibiki had not really separated since he first began to watch them, they had remained within a certain distance of one another—whether they knew it or not—and it was sufficient for him to watch them both, but covering the entire park was completely out of the question, he could only hope that the two boys decided to stay together.

* * *

Nabiki leaned against a wall as the guy at the ticket booth eyed their party warily. 

"Anybody got dough?" Ranma asked suddenly.

"Oh don't tell me you didn't bring any money Ranma . . . because I've only got . . . wow, that's all I've got?" Ukyo gasped.

"I have some money." Konatsu said.

"Now, now, now children, I _am_ wealthy and I will pay for everyone!" Nabiki's father said, but Genma tapped him on the shoulder and whispered something.

Soun Tendo blinked and shouted "What? You have to be joking! It was a million American dollars, do you have any idea how much yen that is? How did you—well I know _I_ spent a portion of it, but—uh . . . well never mind children. Who's up for the less expensive school playground down the road?"

"Oh you're kidding!" Ukyo gasped.

"Fear not!" Tatewaki Kuno said, snapping his finger, his ninja butler appeared with a sack of cash, "I, Tatewaki "Blue Thunder" Kuno will pay for everyone, a special gift."

"Aren't you glad I brought him along?" Nabiki whispered to Kasumi, who just shook her head.

"You needn't pay for everyone!" Yoshimi said, appearing with a pink ninja and her own sack of money, "I will pay for myself and my darling Ryoga! Oh, and . . . this half of the group." Yoshimi said, selecting a portion of the clan at random.

"Then it is agreed." Kuno said.

"Most assuredly so." Yoshimi nodded.

The guy in the ticketbooth became suddenly more cheerful, and far more polite, this look was no longer disdainful but now quite pleasant, it was easy to see how people might be fooled by that face. Nabiki decided she might have a future working in a place like this.

"All right, lets separate into groups," Kasumi said.

"I will go with Kuno-kun!" Yoshimi sqealed right away.

This drew some odd stares from everyone, some were merely surprised, like Ranma and Kasumi, some were hopeful like Ryoga and, Nabiki realized to her surprise hers was annoyed and jealous. "Fine. I'll take Ryoga."

There was a tension in the air between Nabiki and Yoshimi. _Think this minor injury is going to let you steal one of my men you cow? Don't count on it, they're mine until I'm through with them . . . you can have what's left after that._

She was sure Yoshimi was thinking something similar, but both girls smiled sickly fake smiles until everyone's attention was stolen by Ukyo and Akane who were arguing over which of them would team up with Ranma.

In the end Ranma went with Akane, but Ukyo and Konatsu, as well as Shampoo and Mousse would all be going "in that same direction".

Nabiki and Ryoga would be on their own, Yoshimi and Kuno planned to search gift shops and buy things for poor children—all of whom were likely poor because their parents had come to this rat hole—Kasumi and Nodoka would go off together while Nabiki's father and Mr. Saotome looked for a bar.

The Koruda fighters had not come along since Ushio had said they had plans for the day, and nobody had seen hide nor hair of Lotion since the battle, Nabiki sort of hoped she was dead.

Mousse's moose was not invited, nor was Mercedes the giant dog as animals were not allowed into the park.

Nabiki cleared Kuno from her mind and smiled at Ryoga. Yes he would do, she did love him after all.

"Where should we go first?" She asked.

Ryoga raised an eyebrow, "You're asking _me_?"

Nabiki laughed, "Good point. Okay, I'll lead."

"As usual." Ryoga nodded.

"That's the way you like it, baby." Nabiki grinned, leading him off.

"Whatever you say." Ryoga shrugged.

"Darn right whatever I say." Nabiki grinned, "Remember that I'm the boss."

"Like I could forget." Ryoga said.

* * *

"Uh . . . if it is not too much trouble . . ." Tatewaki said as Yoshimi dragged him towards a gift shop, "Why did you give up your pursuit of fanged wanderer for me?" 

"I didn't!" Yoshimi said, "I have a plan!"

"Uh . . . what?" Tatewaki asked as he examined an item that would cost half as much if he bought it in the outside world and probably last twice as long.

"Lovely Nabiki and you have a perfect opportunity to be alone here, Tatewaki-kun, I will distract my Ryoga, you will speak to Nabiki."

"Yes . . ." Tatewaki said.

"Remember to press her about the college, and lay on the charm if you have to."

"Of course, women cannot resist _my_ charms."

"Of course not, so spare no pick up line and bat those eye lashes like there's no tomorrow! Go, in the name of LOVE!"

Tatewaki nodded. "I _will _get Nabiki Tendo to attend this college, of that you can be sure. And she will be mine . . .one of mine . . . uh . . .well I'll probably sleep with her."

"As it should be." Yoshimi nodded, waving Tatewaki away.

He knew, he had to convince Nabiki for the sake of her future in life if not her future with him, she needed to go to college, or risk wasting her talents and her life. For her sake more than his, he would convince her.

* * *

He groaned audibly when they split up. Who would he follow, Hibiki or Saotome? 

Saotome was leaving with a larger group, it left the young man certain that he would be well protected, and also seemed as if he were working rather hard to seem important while Hibiki was alone save for a young woman who seemed to be very interested in him.

The young man knew who he'd be following, he knew who he'd assume was the more important target if he were an assassin.

Hibiki.

* * *

Ryoga was beginning to fear that he was abnormal, he'd always heard this place was great but he was really bored. 

"Say, d'you want to—" Nabiki began but she was interrupted by Yoshimi who dashed in and grabbed Ryoga by the arm, leading him away before Nabiki had time to so much as blink.

Ryoga groaned as Yoshimi dragged him a sufficient distance away from Nabiki that he could no longer hear her.

Yoshimi then said, "Sorry my love," and left him there.

Ryoga stood there, alone and already lost for a moment, then shook his head. "W.T.F.?" He shouted the acronym because he guessed the real thing would get him in trouble in this brat infested place.

This was _so_ not good.

* * *

Tatewaki was pleased to find Nabiki Tendo alone and clearly vulnerable. He slid up next to her and said, "How are you, dear Nabiki Tendo?" 

"What? Fine. Have you seen Ryoga?"

"No. But never mind, what does he matter?" Tatewaki asked, "You and I have things to talk about."

"Excuse me? And what might those things be? Oh, and while you talk try to find Ryoga, I don't want to lose him here . . . this place sucks."

"Yes it truly would be cruel," Tatewaki said, reaching out and taking Nabiki's hand.

"Stop that!" Nabiki warned, Tatwaki laughed softly.

"Is my touch so repellant?"

"I'm _with_ Ryoga." Nabiki said firmly.

"Not at the moment." Kuno said, pulling her closer.

"True . . ." Nabiki admitted, "But I don't want him to get lost."

"Forget him. Think about yourself. The college offer is slipping, will you come with me, will you go to college and fight for your future?"

Nabiki frowned, "Well . . . I don't know. I don't really know anything about this college—"

"It is a college for the obscenely wealthy, I will be there and in a year so will Yoshimi."

"That doesn't make me want to go there more." Nabiki said darkly.

"Oh but it should, you'd be an upperclassmen, to her and she would have to treat you with the respect and difference that that position deserves."

Nabiki smiled faintly, "Well . . . some things I could do to her . . . all right . . . yeah, I'll do it."

Kuno grinned, "Excellent," He said, pulling her in close and kissing her on the lips.

It was a deep and passionate kiss, people stared but who cared?

Tatewaki opened his eyes slowly and grinned at Nabiki, her cheeks were red. "D-don't do that again." She warned, so he did.

She sighed after the second kiss, "This park is supposed to be G rated, Kuno-baby."

"Let them censor us." Tatewaki shrugged.

Nabiki smiled and they went off, she'd forgotten all about Ryoga.

* * *

He scowled as Hibiki's lover accepted the kiss of another man. The young man fought back an urge to vomit, how could she do that to her fiancé? 

Well it was none of his business, if that was what made them happy then more power to them . . . they weren't any use to him anyway and he'd keep his nose out of it.

Too bad for them he wasn't the only one who'd seen their kiss.

* * *

Ryoga was lost, that must was obvious, and he wanted to find Nabiki. 

Maro had been arrested, but Jun hadn't been killed, for all Ryoga knew that son of a gun was out there this very instant coming after him or worse kidnapping Nabiki again.

Just because cartoon villains never tired the same trick twice didn't mean real life villains wouldn't!

He scowled as he continued to fail to find her, or notice anything that seemed like it could be used as a landmark.

Yoshimi . . . oh he was beginning to hate her more than fear her,.he'd make her pay and make her hurt and make her—oh, hey free hot dogs? Well okay then . . .

Where was he?

Oh yeah! He'd make her plead and then when she'd done all of that make her leave and never come back.

He would annihilate—darn were there any free drinks?

No . . . not even a fountain.

Okay, so where was he? Screw it, he just wanted to wander around the park and enjoy the free things in life. Being with Nabiki would be preferable but—

No! For crying out loud he'd lost tract of what he was supposed to be doing, and that was finding Nabiki! She could be in danger he couldn't wait around any more!

He ran now, ran towards anywhere, if he found a wall he'd know he'd gone too far, if he found a parking lot he was right out of the park, literally he'd find Nabiki or die trying!

And fortunately, or unfortunately he did.

Perhaps it was because he wasn't trying to find Kuno, and that's who he saw first, he thought to hail the older boy and ask for his help but before he could say anything he saw Nabiki.

He was holding her in his arms, they stared intently at one another, Nabiki sighed, "This park is supposed to be G rated, Kuno-baby."

"Let them censor us." Kuno shrugged and the bastard kissed Nabiki!

She didn't seem to mind either, Ryoga felt his fists clench at his sides.

"Fine." He said darkly. Here he'd been worried about her and she was with another man?

For all he knew Nabiki had engineered his getting lost! Had arranged with Yoshimi to get him good and lost, like she cared about how worried he'd get about her.

"Fine." Ryoga said again, not really sure what else to say. One last "fine" and he turned around and stormed off, fists clenched at his side.

Let Jun come back and kidnap Nabiki. And let Kuno be the one to defeat the assassin this time. Let Ranma be the hero, it was what he was good at. Ryoga didn't want to be part of the story any more.

* * *

Ukyo and Konastu had split with Ranma and Akane after the two had given them the slip, Ukyo had every intention of finding them and helping Akane lose herself so that she could get close to Ranma honey. 

She'd sent Konatsu off to search, but noticed him on a roller coaster. It annoyed her but she wouldn't punish him . . . not today anyway, he didn't really do things like this that often, if anything he was probably the only one enjoying himself, Ukyo knew she certainly wasn't.

That was about to change.

She noticed a familiar face, and thought for a moment that it was Ranma!

No, Ryoga. Funny how alike those two could look sometimes. Ukyo noticed the headband and the fact that his cloths weren't anything like Ranma's, but what really gave Ryoga away was his surliness. For crying out loud did the boy know how to hide his emotions at all?

She sped over to him, he was making rather good time towards . . . wherever it was that Ryoga was trying to but probably traveling in the opposite direction of.

"Ryoga, what're you—" She silenced herself seeing the look on his face. "Wha-whtat's wrong?"

"What d'you mean?" Ryoga scoffed. "I'm f-fine."

"No, you look terrible. Like Ranma honey just stole your lunch."

"Well _something_ was stolen." Ryoga said darkly. Then his expression changed from anger to mournful thoughtfulness, "Or maybe it was something I never really had."

Ukyo frowned, "I'll bet you don't want to talk t'me about it . . . but if I'm wrong I'd be willing to hear what you've got to say."

Ryoga frowned deeply, Ukyo pinched his cheek as hard as she could, knowing he'd feel no pain from it.

"What's that for?" He demanded.

"I thought it'd help you to stop frowning." Ukyo said, "Makes Konatsu wear whatever face I want him too . . . just thought I'd try to help."

Ryoga forced a weak smile for about two seconds, then said "If you want to help, help me get away from Nerima."

"Why?" Ukyo frowned, she needed Ryoga to be _in_ Nerima for him to help her with her last ditch effort to win Ranma honey's love!

"I . . ." Ryoga looked at the ground, "I just don't want to be here, I don't want to see this place for a long time."

Ukyo shook her head, "Why don't I help you find a place to sit down, you can tell big sister all about it."

"Don't call yourself that, you're not my sister." Ryoga grunted.

"True, but the way I look out for you, might as well adopt ya." Ukyo smiled weakly. Ryoga managed another forced half grin.

* * *

"C'mon Ranma, you cant beat that!" Akane said, looking proudly at her score on the Test your Strength mallet game. 

She'd gone all the way up to the bell, it'd been easy she just imagined the little target was Ranma's head!

"Don't really wanna." Ranma said with a shrug.

"Give it a try!" Akane demanded.

Ranma sighed, and rolled up his sleeves. He took the mallet and hit the target, the effect was below the average of a five year old boy.

Akane's eye twitched, "You didn't even try!"

"True that." Ranma grinned.

"Oh c'mon Ranma, try! Give it your all and—" Akane was saying until Kasumi came over.

"Oh enough already, _I'll_ do it!" Kasumi said, she took the mallet and slammed it down with such force that Akane would almost swear the ground shook! The meter went up and slammed into the bell, came back down and bounced up again about half way.

Akane blinked at her eldest sister. "Okay, this game is fixed!" She declared.

"Nuh-no, it's broken now actually!" The attendant said in surprise, "Whoa! She's like, stronger than ten thousand housewives!"

"She's not even married yet." Akane said.

"That's right I'm not! Hmph!" Kasumi said, and she stormed off.

"Hey, wasn't my mom with her?"

"She's in the men's bathroom!" Kasumi called over her shoulder.

Ranma sighed. "I hate my life."

"I hate your life too. "Akane said. She scoffed, "Anyway that wasn't fair because Kasumi isn't stronger than me so this game tells lies. Let's go somewhere else."

"I wonder what's got Kasumi's panties in a bind." Ranma said.

Akane frowned, now that she thought of it, Kasumi did seem to be a little . . . upset. "We should follow her . . . and find out what it is." Akane said.

"Y'mean like when we followed Ryoga and Nabiki because you thought they were in love and they weren't?"

"Yes they were!" Akane protested.

"Not back then they weren't." Ranma said wearily. "What I really wanna know is will this cut into my Saturday? I'd planned to spar with Ryoga and—"

"Oh just c'mon!" Akane said disdainfully.

* * *

Ukyo patted Ryoga's hand consolingly as they sat together at a table with a large umbrella sticking out of it. It was pleasantly shady but a little dorky, she thought. 

"Look Ryoga, I'm your friend. Whatever's bothering you, you can share it with me."

"No, I'd rather not."

"Okay." Ukyo nodded. "Can I guess?"

"Go for it." Ryoga snorted.

"Is it because you feel bad about not helping me win Ranma honey's affections?"

Ryoga raised an eyebrow at her, "No . . . not at all."

Ukyo grinned, "Well that's what it _should_ be."

Ryoga rolled his eyes and put his head down on the table, Ukyo shook hers and said "I was only joking hon. Honestly I take it you're upset because you got separated from Nabiki?"

Ryoga scoffed and mumbled something dark to himself, Ukyo frowned at him.

He became quite interested in a bottle of soy sauce on the table, or at least he pretended he was interested in it, Ukyo waited patiently for him to speak and he didn't.

She took a deep breath and said, "Ryoga honey, why don't you just tell me? If you do I promise to stop asking."

Ryoga scoffed again, but this time it was followed by audible words spoken in a language Ukyo understood. "It's none of your business, okay? It's not like I need your help, all I want is to be left alone."

"If that were true you wouldn't have come here with me." Ukyo pointed out, and Ryoga shrugged. "You said something got stolen from you . . . did Ranma honey make trouble?"

"No." Ryoga scowled. "Ranma I can handle."

Ukyo chose not to say 'yeah right' for Ryoga didn't seem to be in the mood for that. She just nodded slowly and said, "Maybe you don't think I care, but I do. You're my friend, I care, tell me what's wrong and I'll try to fix it."

Ryoga shook his head, "It's . . . it's probably nothing."

Ukyo smiled slyly, "Okay, I tell you what. You tell me what got stolen, and I'll get you a new one, a better one. And, just to sweeten the deal I'll find out who stole it and hold them down while you beat them up, how's that?"

Ryoga looked at her for a long moment and then shook his head. "D'you want to know what's wrong or do you want me to cry on your shoulder just so you can make it seem like you care?"

"You look too upset for me to trick you like that." Ukyo lied. The fact was if his problem could be turned to her benefit she'd do just that. She needed him to help her get Ranma.

"Okay fine. The fact is that I don't need you to find out who stole from me, I know who it was. You can't get me a new one because what he took is irreplaceable. Worse I don't know how long I've been duped, how long this . . . thief has had his prize, how long I've been lied to. Has it been moments? I doubt it. But . . ." Ryoga looked down. "I don't know what to do . . ."

Ukyo frowned, "Well what did Ranma take from you that's such a big deal?"

Ryoga shook his head, "It wasn't Ranma."

"Then tell me who." Ukyo said.

Ryoga sighed and put his head down on the table. "Nabiki."

"Nabiki stole from you?" Ukyo scoffed, "That can't be new. She swindles everybody, I mean outright theft would be a new game for her but—"

"No, no, no, she didn't steal from me . . . though I don't think I can trust her anyway. . ."

Ukyo frowned, "Then wht's she got to do with anything?"

"She's the thing that was stolen." Ryoga said pitifully.

"What? So you got lost?" Ukyo reasoned.

"She was kissing Kuno." Ryoga said, the mournful tone of his voice suddenly taking a darker one. "We'd been separated for a minute or two . . . I'd been worried about her, thought maybe those assassins had come back . . . and she was off having a _really_ good time with Kuno." Ryoga's eyes grew hard, "And how long have they been together? How long have I been their little joke?" He stood up, his fists clenched, then he collapsed and put his head on the table again. "Why didn't she just tell me she wanted to end it?"

Ukyo frowned now, this was a lot to absorb. "You're saying Nabiki is cheating on you?" Ukyo said slowly, the gears in her head moving.

"Seems that way."

"With Kuno, whom she hates?" Ukyo reasoned.

"Seems that way."

"But they hate each other."

"Didn't seem that way." Ryoga scoffed.

Ukyo's brain throbbed as her plan took shape.

Looking at how sad poor Ryoga was she knew it'd be wrong to take advantage of him like this . . . but then again . . . she'd waited years to be with Ranma, and this heart broken mass of muscle might just be her ticket to happiness. She'd make it up to him later, she promised herself.

"You can always try to make her jealous, show her what it feels like to be cheated on Ryoga honey." _And if you just happen to help me get together with Ranma in the process . . . _Ukyo thought with glee to herself.

"What? Start dating Yoshimi because Nabiki might be cheating? I mean . . . well maybe I was wrong, maybe—"

"Shut up! You weren't wrong, what're you going to believe? Your eyes and your heart, or your second thoughts? Nabiki kissed Kuno, you said it yourself, they're playing you and now its time to cut the game to its end. If she wants to kiss Kuno, let her. Its over between you two, that's how its gotta be."

"But I—"

"Am going to find a new girl, one who'll take care of you, look out for you, help you find your way when you're lost. You need a girl who'll be . . ." Ukyo trailed off, testing the waters. If they were good she'd make her move!

"Like you?" Ryoga raised an eyebrow.

Heck yes. She was better than Nabiki anyway!

"W-well," Ukyo said, stammering on purpose and batting her eyelashes furiously, committing all the feminine acts she wasn't used to committing, "I-I mean a girl who'll t-t-take care of you and l-love you for who you are." She began to fidget around until Ryoga's hand took hers.

_Success_! She thought. Until she saw Ryoga's face.

He wasn't enraged, which was a good sign, but he wasn't happy either. "Stop that. I know what you're trying to do. You think this is some joke? I just told you I caught my fiancée kissing another man and you're making fun of me!"

"What? N-no I wasn't, I didn't meant it like that I—" Ukyo wasn't stammering on purpose now.

Ryoga shook his head, "All that talk about being my friend, and when I need one you just make it a big joke. Well 'ha', 'ha' and an extra 'ha' for you. I'm going to find Nabiki, or another country, whichever I get to first, if it's the former I'll tell her we're through, I don't want to hear any lies because I know they'll be too darn good! If it's the latter I'll send you a post card and hope never to see any of you guys again! Some great friends I've made her, let me tell you!" He got up to leave.

Ukyo grabbed his wrist, "Hey, don't get mad at me just because your girl is no good, sugar. I _am_ your friend, I'd dare to say your _best_ friend too, I don't steal from you or pick on you like Ranma does, and maybe I'm not your girl friend like Nabiki is—or was, but I've still been there for you, and we have more fun together than you and that annoying assassin, and you and Mousse barely even get along as it is, so I think . . . I think . . ." Ukyo struggled to find something else to say, but decided nothing would work as well as simply grabbing Ryoga and kissing him on the lips.

Which she did.

It was really rather nice . . .

* * *

Yoshimi giggled to herself, how sneaky she was, how clever she was, now it was just time to go in for the kill and take her beloved Ryoga for her own, time to claim the life that was hers by right, the lover she had desired since age five or so. 

She knew Ryoga was with his friend Ukyo, her ninja had tracked them to this location, she'd go over to Ryoga and comfort him in his time of need, be a sining pillar of loving light and force him to love her instead of that traitorous Nabiki!

"What? N-no I wasn't, I didn't meant it like that I—" She heard Ukyo saying, ah Ukyo, Yoshimi had _almost_ forgiven her for hitting her in the face.

Ryoga sounded irate at least when he said "All that talk about being my friend, and when I need one you just make it a big joke. Well 'ha', 'ha' and an extra 'ha' for you. I'm going to find Nabiki, or another country, whichever I get to first. If it's the former I'll tell her we're through, I don't want to hear any lies because I know they'll be too darn good!"

Yoshimi jumped up and down with glee, he was mad at Nabiki, finally! He was really upset with her, this was too good!

Ryoga continued, "If it's the latter I'll send you a post card and hope never to see any of you guys again! Some great friends I've made here, let me tell you!" Yoshimi heard Ryoga's chair scrape the ground, he was going to leave, run away and she'd make sure he ended up right where she wanted him!

Ukyo didn't seem done arguing with him though, troublesome girl, "Hey, don't get mad at me just because your girl is no good, sugar. I _am_ your friend, I'd dare to say your _best_ friend too, I don't steal from you or pick on you like Ranma does, and maybe I'm not your girl friend like Nabiki is—or was, but I've still been there for you, and we have more fun together than you and that annoying assassin, and you and Mousse barely even get along as it is, so I think . . . I think . . ." Ukyo trailed off and there was a momentary silence, Yoshimi bounced up and down with glee and didn't even think to turn around and peer through the bushes to investigate the silence.

Suddenly she heard Ryoga again, "What the—"

"Don't say anything! I can't believe I did that!" Ukyo groaned, "Don't tell anyone I—ugh! I just . . . I guess we're better friends than I thought. And you didn't have to shove me like that." The girl added.

What? What did that mean? What were they doing? Yoshimi peered through the bushes, Ukyo was blushing furiously, Ryoga was too. He turned away from her and said, "After Nabiki I've got to deal with this? I'm as bad as she is!"

"N-no you're not, because you didn't want it and you stopped it." Ukyo said, "There's the difference Ryoga, you're a good person and she's not, you two were never meant for each other in the first place, you need someone better! I'm your fried, listen to your friend!"

_Yes, yes, listen to your friend and dump the girl_! Yoshimi thought, she didn't wonder what it was Ryoga didn't want, she didn't care because once he was with her the only things he'd want would be what she wanted him to want, she'd forge him into the perfect husband!

"I . . . I don't know who to trust."

"That's what your first break up will do to you," Ukyo said though Yoshimi had no idea how _she'd_ know since her information told her that all of Ukyo's relationships had been one sided, with no affection flowing either from her, or her beloved.

She'd had no breakups, but Yoshimi giggled furiously to herself because she knew that Ukyo was doing her bidding without even realizing it!

"Is there a mouse somewhere around here?" Ukyo asked, Yoshimi slapped her hands over her mouth.

Okay, she was getting carried away, she quickly snuck off, she'd get back to Ryoga later, she'd waited years to make him hers, she could wait a few more hours, for the next chance they had to be alone she'd win him at long last!

* * *

The young man who stood atop a building watching the scene below was amazed at how like a poor soap opera this group's love lives were! 

It was none of his business, and he was glad for that! But if this kept up he might not be able to shadow them for very long, he wasn't sure how long he could stand all this human drama.

Hibiki's lover was currently with her second boyfriend, Hibiki had seen them, that was okay, he could handle that. It was unfortunate for Hibiki, but normal at least.

Now there was another girl making a move on Hibiki, and now he'd been kissed, unlike his lover he'd rejected the kiss but now there was a _third_ girl watching him and the youth would bet dollars to yen that that girl was after Hibiki too!

Amazing what being a candidate for the much sought after position of "chosen one" could do for one's love life. Here these people were free it seemed to trade lovers according to their taste, whilst he would give anything just to _see_ his beloved again, did they have any idea how lucky they were?

The young man's attention slipped however when he noticed the five figures leaping from rooftop to rooftop and headed straight for the last known location of Saotome!

He recognized them right off the bat as Koruda fighters, dressed in their dorky red uniforms.

Koruda was known to have ties with Jun, and it didn't take much for the young man to figure out what this might mean. He grinned, if he could capture one of those K-Fighters and interrogate them he might learn the whereabouts of Jun, he wouldn't have to follow these annoying chosen ones anymore!

* * *

Ranma felt a tingle go up his spine, he leapt into the air and out of the way of the attack! 

It was Koruda! Tomoko's boomerang cut through the air and hit the ground just where Ranma had been standing. He sneered at her, "Isnt it supposed to come back?"

"Not this kind, pal!" The armored K-Fighter laughed, drawing another one out, "These type are one way, lethal little buggers! Here, see for yourself!" She threw it and Ranma leapt into the air to avoid it.

As he did, Anzu slammed into him and pinned him on the ground, "She's joking, we wouldn't try to kill you after you helped us out and all, but dad wants us to beat down on you guys so . . . y'know, business."

"Right!" Akane said, kicking Anzu in the head, sending her flying off of Ranma and right into a third K-Fighter. "And P.S. don't get so close to my fiancé!"

"Ah! Snaps, this helmet doesn't help at all!" Anzu said, taking off the dented helmet and throwing it away, "That _really_ hurt! I might have a concussion! Do you know how much I hate going to the hospital? The doctor keeps feeling me up! I don't need this kind'a crap!"

"I kinda like it, the doctor's cute." Tomoko said.

"He's like thirty!"

"Older guys are great, they know what they're doin'." Tomoko shrugged.

"Are we not supposed to be fighting them?" A fourth Koruda fighter asked.

"What? Oh—oh yeah!" Anzu said, she drew a katana and said, "Get 'em!"

Ranma leapt back, "You want a party? Let's party!" He ran now and leapt into the air, the Koruda fighters followed him. He leapt onto a building top and turned to face them, a stranger came down first and Ranma kicked him aside, Tomoko was next and Ranma threw himself over the side of the building, she followed.

Ranma however grabbed the roof as he fell, latching on and avoiding doom, Tomoko did not.

She spun midair, saw Ranma holding on, scoffed "Son of a bi—" before splashing into a pond full of swans.

Ranma pulled himself up and stood proud and defiant on top of the building, three K-Fighters came at him, led by Anzu.

Anzu leapt high into the air and came down hard where Ranma had been standing, but the young martial arts master threw himself backwards and landed on the next building. The other two Koruda fighters leapt after him, Ranma turned and sped off towards a battleground more to his liking.

"Ranma, stop being obnoxious!" Akane screamed up at him.

"Come down here and tell your friends you can't play right now!" His mother shouted.

"Kill them all!" Akane's father shouted, "Avenge my family on our hated enemies, destroy the Koruda School of Combat!"

Ranma decided he'd go with that last one. He leapt and did an acrobatic flip that would make most gymnasts jealous, and landed atop a giant tea cup.

What the snap?

The tea cup began to spin, Ranma groaned, the two Koruda fighters—who'd each landed in a cup began to spin.

Anzu and Tomoko who'd caught up with them stupidly leapt onto the ride, Tomoko ending up with a family of four, the father of said family jumping up and shouting "First I lose my remote, then I fall out the window, now some bad cos-play geek is stepping on my drink.

Tomoko's response was "What you want a piece o' me old man?"

The man stood up and tried to take a swing, Tomoko dodged that, and diverted his next blow, she ducked to avoid his roundhouse kick, then he got dizzy and vomited all over his wife.

"Tomoko, stop terrorizing the innocent!" Anzu shouted.

"Aww . . ."

Ranma had leapt onto the rim of his tea-cup (which he now saw was also inhabited by a pair of dizzy lovebirds) and ran along to compensate for the spinning, the Koruda fighters—with the exception of one Ranma didn't know—all followed suit. The one he didn't know stuck his hands in the air and shouted, "Yeehaw!"

"We've come to destroy you Ranma Saotome, because we can, and because my dad has no consideration for other people's day plans!" Anzu said.

"So take your beating like a man and hurry up and die!" One of the nobody fighters said.

"No, now come make this theme park worth the money Kuno spent!" Ranma cried.

The ride came to an abrupt halt, and so did the fight as all four cupbalancing martial artists were thrown from the ride and slammed into the gate that kept the lines back, destroying it. People rushed through to the now free ride, trampling them.

Ranma however managed to climb to his feet first, he stomped on a recovering Anzu and said "Hah, I win!"

"This time Saotome . . . this time." Anzu groaned. "Can you please stop stepping on my head? It hurts."

"Eh? Oh sorry." Ranma said, letter her go.

The Koruda fighter who'd enjoyed the ride instead of fighting came staggering towards them, "Yay! I think I'm gonna be sick!" There was a sound that definitely sounded like a bucket of water being splashed against a wall, and then he said, "Whoa, it's all over my helmet!"

"Gross!" His comrade said.

"Hey, weren't there five of us?" Tomoko asked.

"One, two, three . . . oh darn we lost somebody. Okay we'll go look and meet back in twenty minutes." Anzu said.

"I wont be here in twenty minutes." Ranma warned.

"It isn't always about you!" Anzu said.

"Yeah, Anzu an' I're gonna come back here and do that tea cup thing again!" Tomoko said.

Ranma tilted his head to the side. "Are you two like a couple 'er somethin'? Cause if you are you ought t'kiss."

"We're straight." Anzu said irritably.

"You are?" One of their comrades said in surprise, "But what about that time—"

"Ah-ah-ah, remember? What happens in Vegas . . ." Tomoko said, trailing off.

"Oh yeah . . ." First guy said.

"Right, right, I remember now." Second guy nodded.

"Wait, wait, wait . . . what the heck is Vegas?" Ranma asked.

But Akane ran up to him and bopped him on the head, "The only girls you're going to kiss or lecherously watching performing the act of kissing will be me!" Akane said.

Ranma scowled, but accepted this and the K-Fighters departed.

* * *

He shook his head, these people were ridiculous. 

He knelt down over the unconscious Koruda fighter. The Koruda family and their martial arts school had ties to Jun, and the young man was determined to find Jun. "When you wake up, you'll be answering some questions." He said to the Koruda fighter. Perhaps interrogating this young man would be a waste of time, but the youth was willing to risk it, the odds that it would lead to information about Jun were good.

He glanced over his shoulder at Ranma and the Koruda fighters. He managed the briefest flash of a half grin, _Ridiculous, but entertaining, _he decided.

**To Be Continued . . .**

* * *

**Next Time:** _Just why is Kasumi so upset? Nabiki announces that she'll be going to college after all, but will Ryoga confront her about kissing of Kuno or stay quiet and ashamed because of Ukyo? Ukyo suggest Ryoga attend High School to better assist her in seducing Ranma—er because she really wants to be with him, and Yoshimi believes she must now set her sights on destroying Ukyo!_


	16. No More Ryoga and Nabiki?

**Chapter Fifteen  
****No More Ryoga and Nabiki?**

The following day Akane was the first to come down for breakfast, Kasumi was cooking and she smiled pleasantly at her younger sister, "Good morning Akane, did you have a good rest?"

"Well . . . yes." Akane nodded. "How do you feel?" She asked cautiously.

"Oh, well enough." Kasumi smiled, "Would you like one egg or two?"

Fifteen? Akane was hungry. "Two." She decided.

Kasumi nodded and kept working, Akane waited patiently, wondering if now would be a good time to talk to Kasumi. "So why didn't you bring doctor Tofu to the amusement park with us?"

"Oh . . . he seemed busy." Kasumi said bitterly.

"He did? How do you mean?"

Kasumi looked down and said, "Well . . . I suppose . . ." Kasumi trailed off . . .

**FLASHBACK TIME!**

Kasumi approached the clinic in a rather good mood; she knocked on the door once, wanting to invite Doctor Tofu to go with her to the amusement park with her family. He'd worked hard to help Kuno and then those who'd been injured during the battle and Kasumi felt he deserved a break.

But it wasn't Tofu who opened the door. It wasn't even Betty, the skeleton.

It was a beautiful young woman with medium length brown hair and a rather impressive chest. She smiled pleasantly and said, "Good morning! Come right in, how may we help you today?"

Kasumi frowned, "Have we met?" The girl was very familiar.

"Uh . . . I just have one of those faces, y'know? The kind that looks like every other . . ." The girl looked quite unhappy all of a sudden. "Never mind that, how can I help you?"

Kasumi knew she'd seen this young woman before, but couldn't really tell where. "Well I'm here to see Doctor Tofu."

"Oh, Tofu! Righto!" The blonde woman turned to a new receptionist desk that Kasumi hadn't seen before and frowned, "Where did she . . ." she tapped the little bell for service, there was no response. "Mika? Hey Mika? Mika! Hey Mika!" The woman shouted, she pounded on the bell, "You'd better not be doing what I think you're doing! Mika! Mika!" The brunette turned to Kasumi, bowed slightly and said, "Pardon me ma'am." Then she sighed, and shouted, "Hey dumb blonde!"

All of a sudden another woman appeared, she was familiar too, and blond. "Why do you call me that? You know I'm not dumb, Minako!" Mika said as she buttoned up her white shirt.

"S'only way I can get you to answer me."

"Well maybe I couldn't hear you." The blond, Mika said.

"Heard "dumb blonde" didn't you?" The brunette Minako scoffed. "And why are you . . . you _were_ doing . . . that thing again!"

"I can't help it, I have needs!" Mika whined.

Kasumi blinked, "Oh I recognize you two now!"

"N-no you don't!" Minako said.

"You've never seen us before!" Mika said, waving her arms around franticly.

Kasumi took a step beck, "Y-you're those two nurses from the hospital. What are you doing here?"

Minako shuddered, "Hospital? Don't know what you're talking about. We _do_ work for a doctor, he's named Tofu. You're looking for him right? G-go get the doctor Mika!"

"R-right! And by the way, we never worked at the hospital!" Mika rushed off.

Kasumi shifted uneasily, these two nurses, or former nurses had, as far as Kasumi could tell from their utterly terrible habit of speaking about personal matters in front of patients, been sleeping with the doctor in exchange for raises and pocket money.

If they were working for Tofu now . . .

Why would he even hire women like this?

Kasumi's eyes narrowed, what had Mika meant when she said she had needs? What had she been doing, what was 'that thing' Minako had accused her of doing again?

Kasumi was not a suspicious woman; she did not always jump to conclusions though she did on occasion. This was one of those occasions, and it only got worse when Tofu came out of an office, adjusting his glasses, how dare he look so innocent when he'd hired women like these two to work for him?

Kasumi could see clearly what he wanted from them.

She scoffed as Dr. Tofu smiled nervously, "Heh-hello Kasumi, fancy meeting you here!"

"I came to see you." Kasumi said crossly.

"D-don't say! Well that's l-lovely!" The doctor said adjusting his glasses which were fogging up, the nurses began to giggle to themselves, oh what did they think was so funny? What was the big joke?

Kasumi "humphed" and folded her arms, not something she did very often. "I see you're busy." She told Dr. Tofu.

"Oh yes—I mean no! I mean . . . well I'm not really busy Kasumi, did you w-want something? I mean it's lovely weather today isn't it? The kind of day that makes you glad to be alive, you know?"

Kasumi shook her head, he wasn't making any sense, he was babbling like a madman, he was trying to hide something.

Why had Mika been buttoning up her shirt when she came?

Kasumi shook her head, "Well I don't want to take up your time, and you feel free to go back to whatever you're doing." Kasumi said, and she stormed out.

**FLASHBACK ENDS! AMAZING, NO?**

Akane's mouth hung open. She knew, though Kasumi didn't that Dr. Tofu had a major crush on her oldest sister, and that might explain the insane babbling. But it was true that the rest of the scene seemed suspicious.

And since when did Tofu need nurses?

"Well Kasumi I'm sure he wasn't doing anything bad with them."

"Oh? Well what do I care? I mean it's not like I . . . care." Kasumi decided.

Akane shook her head, evidently Kasumi _did_ care. Akane had always thought her sister returned Dr. Tofu's affections, even though there were times that she suspected Kasumi wasn't interested in physical love at all, since she seemed to be so content playing the virgin housewife.

"I tell you what; Ranma and I will go and sort those hussies out after breakfast, how's that?" Akane asked.

"Oh you don't have to do that for me . . ." Kasumi said, then added quietly so that no one might overhear, "Get the blond first!"

**

* * *

**

Soun, Nodoka and Genma came down to breakfast together. The family had long since learned not to question why.

When Genma, Nodoka and Soun sat down at the table however, many heads tilted to the side at their announcement!

"We're leaving!" The three old-folks said together.

"For where?" Ranma asked.

"Doing what now?" Nabiki yawned.

"Well you see Yutaro's movie is being shot in Hawaii, so Nodoka is going to have to go there, well I've got some great land there and Genma and I are going there to build a new house, and a new Dojo, we'll wait there with her while the film is shot, then when it's done we'll come back and the house and dojo will be our wedding gift to Ranma and Akane. It all works out."

"I don't really want to live in Hawaii." Ranma said.

"Oh boy, I've always wanted to live in Hawaii!" Akane said.

The two frowned at each other, and then both agreed, "It'll be a summer home."

"Good, see how it all works out?" Genma nodded. "Kasumi will be the head of the household while we're gone, Ranma and Ryoga will be in charge of protecting the dojo."

"What about me?" Akane protested.

"Well yes, you two. But you're used to representing the Tendo name."

"So's Ranma!" Akane protested.

"No, Ranma is used to fighting for the sake of fighting." Genma said.

"Darn skippy." Ranma confirmed.

"And Ryoga needs the practice if he's going to marry Nabiki." Soun added.

They waited for Ryoga to say something . . .

"Hey, where's Ryoga?" Akane asked. She frowned at Nabiki, "Didn't he come down with you?"

Nabiki looked thoughtful for a moment, but after a while a frown began to grow on her face. "Oh my . . . I . . . I haven't seen him since we were separated at the park!"

"What?" Kasumi gagged, "How did you forget him?"

Nabiki shrugged, "I got distracted."

Ranma wondered what could have distracted Nabiki from her little love toy Ryoga. But then he realized he didn't care. "I can watch the dojo alone y'know."

"Probably, but we should find him anyway." Soun said. "Nabiki I'll be expecting you to help Kasumi with managing the household."

"Cant do it." Nabiki shrugged.

"What? Why not?" Nodoka asked.

Nabiki smiled, "Because I'm not going to be here!"

**

* * *

**

Nabiki was a little disappointed that she'd be missing out on nearly a year without her father, his dopey friend or his friend's super loose wife around to bother and parent them, the things she could get away with over a year with just Kasumi to fill the role of adult observer!

But now was as good a time as any to announce, "I'm going to college."

"You can still get in?" Her father asked, looking pleasantly surprised.

"Why not? She's got time before the school year starts again, right Nabiki? You've got . . ." Ranma counted on his fingers, "Seven months!"

"_Days_ Ranma dear. Seven days" Nabiki corrected.

Ranma frowned, "No kiddin'? Man that's no good. 'Means I got to get back to school in seven days. Sure hope its repaired by then."

"You were there a weak ago!" Akane said.

"It was dark!" Ranma shot back.

"And honestly, seven months? Where do you get that?" Akane demanded.

"That's not important." Nabiki said, "The point is I am going to college."

"Where at?" Nodoka asked.

"I dunno. Kuno-baby didn't bother to tell me where it is exactly, but it's a college for the obscenely wealthy, so I'll do okay."

Everyone sort of frowned, Kasumi shook her head.

"Little problem," Ranma said.

"While we're not doing badly," Soun began.

"You're going with Tatewaki Kuno? And where will Ryoga be?" Kasumi blurted suddenly.

Nabiki tried to meet her sister's gaze, but Kasumi was avoiding making eye contact. Nabiki shook her head; she'd be on her best college behavior, which meant she would _not_ be getting laid by a different guy every night, why should Kuno matter? And why would Ryoga? Ryoga trusted her, and Kuno wasn't really her boyfriend anyway.

"Uh, actually what I was going to say," Soun said, "is that we're not obscenely wealthy."

"Oh . . . yes, okay. That is true." Kasumi said with an exasperated sigh.

"Wont matter, I'll just 'earn' my money from the other students and creative use of a deck of playing cards." Nabiki said.

"How will we pay for this college?" Soun asked.

"Don't have to, Kuno-baby is paying."

"Oh, so you'll be in his _debt_ hmm? And I wonder what he'll want by way of payment!" Kasumi blurted.

"Do you have a problem, Kasumi?" Nabiki demanded. "Are you trying to say something about me?"

"Don't mind her," Akane said, "She's upset because she just found out Dr. Tofu got over her and is hot for those two slut nurses from the hospital."

"Hmm . . . you know I think I have a pain in my lower back." Soun said.

"Oh my aching neck!" Genma groaned. "Better go see Tofu, eh Tendo?"

Nodoka rolled up her sleeves then whacked both men on top of their heads!

"Well what've they got that Kasumi hasn't?" Nabiki demanded.

"They are _stacked_!" Soun, Genma and Ranma said together.

Kasumi looked down at her own breasts and pouted.

"They're not bad Kasumi-chan," Nabiki assured her sister, "You're stacked just fine."

"Just not as well as those two." Ranma pointed out.

"Oh I . . . I don't care about that." Kasumi said.

Nabiki allowed the subject to move away from herself by focusing on Kasumi, she raised a fist into the air, "I say we go down there, run those hussies out of town and see to it that Tofu and Kasumi make up!"

"Make up?" Kasumi squeaked, "B-but we're not a couple, a-and it's none of my business who he's seeing!"

"Drop it; we all know you want him!" Ranma cried.

"B-but I don't!" Kasumi protested.

Akane and Ranma grabbed Kasumi by the wrists, "Yeah, we'll take care of this, we're the martial artists!"

"Hey!" Soun and Genma protested, but the kids rushed out the door, dragging a reluctant Kasumi. Soun and Genma waited a moment, then followed, probably still interested in seeing the stacked nurses.

Only Nabiki and Nodoka remained.

Nabiki grinned, and folded her arms. She'd miss her family; miss how easy it was to control them.

"So Nabiki," Nodoka said with a sly grin, "Why's Kasumi so against you hanging out with Kuno? I heard her at the park, she wasn't pleased that he'd come along. Anything you want to tell us? Or perhaps . . . Ryoga?"

Nabiki's eye twitched, "No auntie, that's okay. I'm not like _you_."

"True, I'm far more experienced." Nodoka said.

"Yeah, not sure that's something you want to brag about, hmm?" Nabiki said.

Nodoka gave a shrug, "You don't seem to see how much we have in common. We both wear our hair short, we both wanted the same job, and we both like men. We even love the same guy."

"You love Kuno-er I men Ryoga?" Nabiki demanded.

"No. But I'd do both of them anyway." Nodoka said.

Nabiki shook her head. What ever happened to the kind, loving, moral Nodoka she once knew? The one she used to hold minimal hatred for?

She hoped _that_ Nodoka would invoke herself soon, otherwise Nabiki would have to kill uncle Genma's wife.

**

* * *

**

The fifth and missing Koruda fighter woke up, his head was throbbing. Okay, he must have gotten drunk or something, which was bizarre since he didn't drink.

His entire body felt really heavy, he groaned and it was difficult to do so.

Then he realized he was tied to a chair. "Darn," he mumbled. So he'd been fooling around with Tomoko then . . . and he didn't remember it at all!

That was just unlucky, he'd been trying to hit that for months, now evidently he'd succeeded and had been too drunk to remember it.

Then he noticed the tall young man sitting on a windowsill across from him.

Oh snaps, he'd been fooling around with a guy? Good thing he didn't remember.

"Sleep well? It was quite a hit you took you know." The young man said, leaning against the sill and putting down a book he'd been reading. "Lucky for you I was there. Or maybe . . . it was unlucky." The youth smiled for the briefest second.

He looked to be in his late teens or early twenties, he wore a pair of baggy black pants, and a long sleeved blue shirt. His shoulder length hair was stark white, he wore a black bandanna.

He got up and approached the K-Fighter, "I want to know everything you know. You'll tell me . . . or I can't guarantee your continued safety."

"Wh-what do you think I know?" The K-Fighter frowned. He didn't know anything really!

The young man tossed him a picture, "Seen this man before?"

The K-Fighter tried to shrug and failed. "Yeah. He talks to Ushio-sensei all the time, I think they're friends. I think Anzu said he was at the tournament too. I wasn't listening . . ."

"Why not?" The young man demanded.

"My gosh, have you _seen_ Anzu? She's hot, I _so _want to hit that."

"Very funny." The young man said darkly, "But if you could think outside of your pants for a while, your life _does_ depend on it."

"Outside of my pants? Look man that's something one dude should never say to another dude."

"Do you want me to leave you here until you starve to death?" The youth sighed.

"No, not really."

"Then you will tell me where I can find Ushio."

The K-Fighter tried again to shrug, "Y-yeah sure. He's at the dojo, he almost always is. I don't know if he actually has a house or anything, and I'm pretty sure this one time I found his secret stash of naughty movies and a couple boxes of tissue . . . though I thought it was Tomoko's, y'know how hot that would be? I mean let me tell you—"

"You'd _so _hit that?" The young man asked through narrowing eyes.

"How did you _know_?" The K-Fighter gasped, "Do you read minds?"

"Even if I did, I don't think you'd have anything to read. Never mind that, and stop thinking of girls."

"Okay . . . just sayin' though . . . and Tomoko and Anzu aren't girls, they're real women, y'know what I'm saying? Oh gosh and those Tendo sisters that showed up for the tournament? I think one of them got killed, but she was hot I would—"

"Please don't say it . . ." The young man said, shaking his head and holding his forehead as if it were in pain.

The K-Fighter remained politely quiet for a moment, then blurted "I'dsohitthat!"

The youth glared at him for an instant, "Don't you realize that in focusing your attention on multiple women who're all too good for you anyway, you're limiting your chances of getting with any of them?"

"Well I almost got with Anzu, but then she woke up and started freaking out, said she'd press charges and—"

"Okay, enough, just stop! I don't want to hear any more! Maybe I _should_ just leave you here to starve!"

"Aww c'mon, I thought we were getting along. We could hang out man, I tell you what, I'll take Tomoko first and you can have Anzu, then a week later we'll switch, what'dya say?"

"Do not speak to me ever again." The young man sighed.

"Aw c'mon buddy, don't be like that!" The K-Fighter said.

"Wait, wait, wait, did you just call me "buddy?"

"Yeah."

"Thought so. Don't. Or else I'll get you a great big long 'naughty video' as you call them, and leave it playing non-stop when I'm gone."

"Sweet!" The K-Fighter cried.

"But you'll still be tied with your hands behind your back."

"Aw son of a—"

"Finish that sentence and I'll make sure it's all guy on guy." The youth added.

"Whoa, whoa, I don't swing that way. I mean I can't help it if you feel that way about me, but I—"

"Stop making noises now." The youth sighed. "I'll be back after I've spoken to Ushio . . . I ask you to kindly abstain from talking about hitting things until I'm out of earshot."

"Okay, but if you see Anzu and Tomoko you'll know why I'd _so _hit that! I have this fantasy where we're all together at once and they're fighting over me and—whoa!" The K-Fighter said in surprise as the white haired youth threw himself out of the window he was sitting on.

He waited expectantly to hear a wet thud, but he didn't. They were on ground level, who knew? The youth shook his head at him and walked off.

The K-Fighter sat there alone wondering if maybe Ushio would get him freed. Probably not if the sensei knew he wanted to knock up his daughter and his top instructor. But maybe it'd be Anzu and Tomoko and that dead Tendo girl. Oh yeah . . . and when they got there they'd 'play' with him first, then fight over who got to free him and take him to their secret love nest, man how hot was that? He'd _so_ hit all three of them!

**

* * *

**

Ranma knocked on the door to Dr. Tofu's clinic and it was promptly answered by the brunette. "Hello and welcome! How can we help you?"

Ranma wasn't sure what her name was, and she wasn't wearing a name tag which would have given him a great excuse to keep staring at her chest

Akane whacked him and he came to his senses, "Uh, right! Hey we're here to talk to Tofu, is he available or do we have to wait for him to get dressed?"

"Uh, no I think he always wears that outfit. I'm almost sure they're scrubs, but they _do_ look like pajamas. Hey Mika!"

Sure enough the blond showed up, buttoning up her shirt again.

"Oh son of a—were you doing it _again_?" The brunette demanded.

"I couldn't help it, Minako . . . it's _so _good!"

Ranma was afraid he'd get a bloody nose so he quickly ended their conversation, "Hey, we want to talk to Tofu!"

"Yeah Mika, get the doctor!" Minako snapped.

"R-right! Sorry!" Mika squeaked and rushed off, "Doctor? Doctor! That pretty woman is back and she brought her daughters!"

Ranma patted his chest, and check his pigtail. No knockers, no red hair, "Hey!" He protested.

Tofu came very quickly, "Hello Ranma, Akane . . . K-Kasumi! What are the odds of running into you way out here!"

"This is your clinic, doctor." Minako pointed out. "She was just here yesterday."

"Too right, too right, I _am_ being rude, but I haven't got any tea!"

Mika frowned, "What's tea got to do with anything?"

"C-come into my guest room for a moment and—oh my, what a mess!"

"Sir we don't have a guest room!" Minako said.

"Now, now Mika don't be rude to our guests," Tofu said with a chuckle.

"But I didn't say anything!" Mika protested.

"See? He's doing it again, acting funny, trying to cover up what he's doing!" Kasumi said.

Ranma wasn't sure if he should tell her that this was the way Tofu always acted around her, since Akane didn't say anything he figured he shouldn't.

"Now ah, sit down."

"On what?" Akane asked.

Tofu blinked, then rushed off and came back with some stools, he set them down and said, "Now what can I do for you?"

Akane shook her head, "Well actually we're not sure how to tell you this but . . ."

"We're grossly disappointed in you, we thought you were cool and pretty okay for an old guy," Ranma said.

"Old?" Tofu blinked. "I'm not old!"

"But now you've gone and disappointed us," Ranma said, "It's shameful, having those two hussies around here for your sexual pleasure!"

"What!" Minako screamed, "What did you call me? What does he have us here for?"

"Sexual pleasure?" Tofu blinked, "What on earth are you talking about?"

"Well . . . what d'you got 'em here for?" Ranma asked.

Tofu shook his head, "Well I decided since I'm not always minding the clinic these days I should get some nurses to handle things in my absence, these two were the only ones who applied for the position. They wouldn't tell me what their last job was but their bedside manner is extraordinary, the patients seem to really like them."

Ranma held his tongue, but he could tell Tofu exactly why these nurses were so popular, it's called a D cup.

Actually Ranma didn't know much about bras, since he never wore them . . . maybe they were Z cups, they were _stacked_!

"So explain why she's always buttoning up her shirt!" Akane said.

"She is?" Tofu blinked. "Minako, explain this!"

"What? It's not me! It's the dumb blond!" Minako cried.

Tofu frowned, "Mika? But she's so sweet . . . well explain yourself!"

Mika looked down, "Uh, well I've uh . . . got special interests . . ."

"Meaning?" Akane demanded.

Ranma put his hand over his mouth so he'd feel any blood trickling down his nose, he couldn't wait to hear this!

"I . . . I really like . . . I mean I just love . . ." Mika looked ashamed, "Ball room dancing."

Okay, that wasn't really sexy.

"I d-don't have anyone to practice with, so I dance with the skeleton." Mika said.

"That's so gross." Minako shook her head.

"Why no shirt then? Don't tell me Betty turns you on." Akane said, sounding unconvinced.

"Well it's kind of creepy dancing with a skeleton, so I put my shirt on her. I wear two so I figured it was all right."

"Gross is more like it. If you want to dance, find a boyfriend." Minako said.

"I said 'dance' not 'get sexually molested _again_'!" Mika said.

"True." Minako nodded. "But the doctor wasn't really a boyfriend."

"I'm not what?" Tofu gasped, "I should say so, I've only just met you two!"

"We mean the other doctor—uh I mean never mind, slip of the tongue!" Minako said.

"You didn't hear anything!" Mika nodded.

"Oh come off it, we all know you're the nurses from the hospital." Akane said.

"Uh, okay, granted but can you promise not to tell anyone?" Mika asked.

"We all make mistakes, we're not proud of what we had to do at the hospital." Minako said.

"But Mina-chan you said it was great and the only thing you didn't like was how he was seeing all the other nurses at the same time as you!" Mika said.

"Shaddup!" Minako cried.

"Well ladies we cant always control the things that happen in the past and sometimes these things, no matter how bad, can be learning experiences. Therefore as long as you promise to never engage in sexual intercourse with any patient while they are in this clinic you can keep your jobs here. I solemnly swear never to ask you for sexual favors."

"Done!" Mika said.

"But you're kind of cute—uh I mean deal!" Minako said.

Tofu smiled and nodded once, "That settles it," he turned back to Ranma and Akane, then noticed Kasumi again and his glasses fogged up. "Oh . . . Kasumi! Fancy meeting you out here! So uh . . . what brings you here?"

Kasumi frowned at him, "N-nothing, just some confusion . . . but I think I'm over it now. I think I'm over few things actually." The eldest Tendo girl said, "I should go. But I'll come visit you tomorrow, if that's all right."

"P-perfectly!" Tofu said, he waved good bye to a wall as Kasumi and the others left.

Ranma spotted his father and Akane's dad, they were dragging their feet and panting towards the clinic, "D-d-d-drat!" Soun panted.

"Did you k-k-kill them?" Ranma's dad asked.

"No, they're still alive." Akane said, "We all ready worked everything out."

"Good . . . now we need to see Dr. Tofu and his nurses." Soun said.

"But you're not hurt!" Ranma said.

Soun and Genma turned to each other, each took the other's hand and violently pulled, both shouted in pain.

"Our arms are out of socket!" Genma said, "Point us towards that doctor, it really hurts!"

"Point us towards those nurses!" Soun said, "Akane needs a new mommy!"

"No I don't."

"Quiet!" Soun scolded.

"One problem pop," Ranma grinned, "Kasumi was just in there, Tofu might still be lethal, wouldn't go in there if I were you!"

Soun and Genma frowned at each other, knowing now that ripping their arms out of socket probably wasn't as smart as they thought it was.

**

* * *

**

Meanwhile, Ryoga hadn't found his way back to the Tendo Training Hall with Nabiki, hadn't even seen Nabiki since he'd seen her with Kuno. He'd gone to Ukyo's place to stay with her for a while, though it made him uncomfortable staying with another woman who had an interest in him.

Even if Nabiki's loyalty _was_ questionable . . .

Ukyo had made breakfast, Ryoga and Konatsu had sat and ate and once to subject of Ukyo came up Konatsu had spoken of her in such a light that Ryoga was certain that Konatsu herself—er himself was either in love with Ukyo, or had been told to put in some good words for her with Ryoga.

The wistful look in his eyes told Ryoga it was the former, the latter was something he'd expect from Nabiki.

Oddly enough thinking that made him sort of miss her. That' why when Ukyo said "I'm going to go to the Tendo school" Ryoga agreed to accompany her.

They walked hand in hand to keep Ryoga from getting lost, it made him uncomfortable.

Maybe he'd spent too much time with Nabiki, because he kept watching Ukyo for signs of deception, the sort of signs that Nabiki almost always had.

"You know Ryoga, I really think it'd be a good idea for you to start going to Furinkan with Ranma honey and me." Ukyo said. "Nabiki can stay at home and wait for you, Ranma honey and I'll make sure you get to class and back, no worries."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Well you'd get to challenge Ranma, might even be able to reinstate the Bread Feud and actually win this time, and . . . well we could spend more time together."

Ryoga thought bitterly that that would mean Nabiki and Kuno could spend more time together.

He didn't like this jealous feeling inside of him, he didn't like the fact that though he didn't know Kuno very well it was incredibly easy to tell himself that the older boy was a cretin, a villain, a cruel rapist even, why else would Nabiki have kissed him?

Of course he could remember the scene perfectly, had even had a dream about it where he tried to protest and was cruelly laughed at by the happy couple.

He shook his head, maybe school would be good, some time away from Nabiki to relax and maybe make her miss him.

In fact as they neared the house he sort of figured that if she weren't missing him by now she never would.

"Well?" Ukyo asked, "What do you think? I mean you don't have to decide right away or anything Ryoga," She added, as if in after thought "honey."

"I'll think about it." Ryoga said, not sure if he'd act on it. He didn't really want to go to Ranma's school, he didn't want to suffer the humiliating bread feud again, and he suspected Ranma _would_ reinstate it to be a jerk, or to beat Ryoga to the punch if nothing else.

He felt funny as Ukyo knocked on the door, his heart began to beat faster and he just knew Nabiki would answer the door.

She did, her face lit up, "Ryoga!" She cried, and threw herself at him!

**

* * *

**

It didn't bother Ukyo as Nabiki threw herself at Ryoga and began smothering him in rather suggestive kisses, but she figured if she were going to keep pretending to be interested in Ryoga she'd better at least pretend to be disturbed by the sight.

"Ahem," she said coolly, "why don't you two get a room?"

"Oh good idea!" Nabiki purred. She looked up at Ukyo "Thanks for finding him, I was looking everywhere!"

"Oh yeah?" Ukyo scoffed, realizing that knowing Nabiki would cheat on Ryoga _did_ disturb her, so she drew on that for fuel as she continued to treat Nabiki coldly.

Unfortunate Nabiki didn't seem to notice, or care, and Ryoga was trying not to look at her as if he thought even a minor glance would tell Nabiki that she'd kissed him.

"Ranma honey here?" Ukyo demanded.

"No. He's castrating Tofu."

"What the heck? What does tofu have to do with anything? I thought Ranma honey _hated_ tofu!"

"No, they get on pretty well normally. But Tofu is cheating on Kasumi so Ranma and Akane went to beat him up." Nabiki said.

"Oh! Doctor Tofu," Ukyo nodded, understanding. "Well I guess I'll head over there then. Should I just leave Ryoga here?"

"Oh yeah," Nabiki said, kissing Ryoga again, "I'll keep him busy."

Ukyo shook her head, why didn't Ryoga throw that girl off of him and tell her they were through so he could focus on helping Ukyo get Ranma?

Instead he just kept looking uncomfortable.

Ukyo shook her head some more, then left the two alone.

She wondered why, as she left, Nabiki's kissing Ryoga had annoyed her. She got sort of angry really. She decided it was nothing, just resentment that the older girl would drop Ryoga like a bad habit and be allowed to reinitiate their relationship at her mere whim.

Yeah, that was it, she didn't care if they were together, she just didn't much like Nabiki.

**

* * *

**

Yoshimi's eye twitched as she watched Ryoga from the bushes. Nabiki was lavishing affection on him, and that was fine, she was used to that by now.

But now that Ukyo or what ever he name was woman was flirting with him too! It made her so mad! And after that girl had said she wasn't interested in Ryoga! Yoshimi burned under the collar.

Well that was fine. Because she'd just have to deal with Ukyo too. But not so nicely as she'd dealt with Nabiki.

She'd have to force Ukyo to hate Ryoga before they fell too deeply for one another. Oh she'd get Ukyo all right, she'd get her good!

She turned away and stormed off, angry but also thrilled, she was rather beginning to like being a secret agent type girl, on that note in fact she'd have to see Tatewaki and tell him that everything was ready for the next phase of their plan, she only needed to call the school principal and tell him that his newest students would be there right on schedule, and ready for work.

She smiled, too bad Ukyo was still a year too young for college . . . if she weren't she could suffer the same fate as Nabiki, and that sure would be swell.

**

* * *

**

Ryoga enjoyed being kissed by Nabiki, yet at the same time it made him feel bad. He loved Nabiki, he probably always would, but as she kissed him he kept seeing Kuno in his mind, laughing at him.

Nabiki whispered into his ear, "Let's go upstairs."

Ryoga was shaken awake by her request, and for some reason it sounded very appealing, even after what he'd seen.

He nearly followed her like an obedient servant, but he fought down his own carnal desires and gently as he could pried himself free of Nabiki.

He got to his feet and frowned at her, "No." He said. "I'd rather not."

Nabiki pouted, "Aw we've only got seven days to play Ryoga!"

"Seven days?" Ryoga asked.

"Yeah . . . I'm going to go to college after that."

Ryoga frowned, "Do they allow pets?"

Nabiki smiled, "Ah, want to come with me hmm? Sorry baby, we cant, strict no pets allowed rule, I don't think Kuno baby can bend it for me."

"Kuno?" Ryoga asked, though it came out as more of a bark so he quickly coughed into his hand.

If Nabiki noticed she didn't show it, she just wrapped her arms around him, "Yes. He got me into the college, it's really last minute, but it's for the obscenely wealthy he says, so I'm sure I'll enjoy it. I'll see you every break, and I'll write."

Ryoga nodded, but pried himself from Nabiki again, "I really don't feel like doing . . . _that_ right now though." He said.

"Y'know while we were on our little adventure you got to it whenever I told you to, whenever we're here in Nerima you're harder to turn on than a rusty faucet." Nabiki pointed out.

Ryoga scoffed, "Hey, I'm not a faucet, and I'm not going to jump whenever you tell me to. I'm a person too, or did you forget?"

Nabiki frowned, "I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean anything."

"Whatever." Ryoga said, a little embarrassed that he'd gotten mad at her. "Let's just go inside."

"Sure." Nabiki said, and led him in. She didn't seem able to resist sitting on his lap and kissing him over and over again though, and even though Ryoga knew she was trying to use sex appeal to change his mind he didn't allow himself to be swayed, didn't give in to her charms.

Instead, when he felt himself getting excited he said, "So where were you yesterday? I kept looking for you, but you didn't come find me."

"I what?" Nabiki blinked, then realization came to her, "Oh! Oh that's right, I'm sorry. I uh . . . I _was_ looking for you, I really was, but I couldn't find you."

"Did you ask anyone to help you?" Ryoga pressed, maybe she'd asked Kuno to help her, and then he'd told her about the college and she'd kissed him for joy! Yes that was it, even though he remembered seeing rather passionate kiss maybe a jealous mind had been playing tricks on him!

"Nope, not a soul. Couldn't find anyone, Ranma was fighting some K-Fighters and I didn't know where Ukyo and the others were." Nabiki said.

"Well . . .what about Mousse?" Ryoga tried, and dared to add "Kuno?"

Nabiki didn't even blink as she said, "Mousse couldn't find _himself_ if he wanted to, let lone find you, and I didn't see much of Kuno."

_Yeah, because you closed your eyes whenever you kissed him_. Ryoga thought, and the bitterness of his own thoughts surprised him.

Nabiki kissed him once more and said, "Look, I'm going to be up in my room, I'm going to start packing okay? If you change your mind . . . I'd love for you to come up and see me."

Ryoga nodded, he probably would do no such thing, but then again he wouldn't discount the idea of going up to see Nabiki. He did still love her, though he wondered why. He guessed he had too much history with her to really just throw their relationship away over one kiss, and who was he to judge after he'd kissed Ukyo? He couldn't say that he was morally superior because he hadn't wanted to kiss Ukyo because he was still seeing her, friendly with her even though he knew Nabiki would demand he never lay eyes on her again.

Of course he couldn't tell her to do the same with Kuno, especially since he would just be being a filthy hypocrite . . .

He wouldn't tell Nabiki he'd seen her, and he wouldn't tell Nabiki that he'd kissed Ukyo.

Not yet anyway.

He felt ashamed, he felt kind of sick. He felt like just following Nabiki upstairs and forgetting anything negative had happened between them.

But he just couldn't. He sat alone on the couch, feeling miserable until finally he fell asleep from boredom.

In his dreams he saw her kissing Kuno, they laughed at him, what a fool to trust his beloved, who loved money more than him.

Kuno would always have more money than Ryoga, Ryoga couldn't even guarantee he'd find the chapel on the day they got married, Kuno could show up in a stretch limo.

He was no good for Nabiki . . . maybe she was just starting to see it.

**

* * *

**

Tatewaki poured Yoshimi a glass of his family's best cider. Yoshimi wasn't old enough for wine yet and she reminded him of this.

Really he thought it'd be okay since this was a very special celebration, but he wouldn't force alcohol on her, he wasn't trying to sleep with _her_.

"To a plan well carried out." Tatewaki said, raising his glass.

"To true love." Yoshimi nodded.

Kuno sat down in a chair and shook his head, "It came together so well, she didn't even need much convincing!"

"Excellent." Yoshimi said. "I'll call the college and tell them that third student is confirmed."

She whipped out a cellular phone and dialed about fifteen numbers. "Hello? Ah, is the principal there? Oh yes I'll hold, but not for long . . . hello? Ah principal, wonderful. This is Yoshimi Harume, yes I know it's an honor. Yes I know you cant wait for me to attend your school . . . yes I know you would like to cut my hair."

Kuno twitched, cut her _hair_?

No . . . no it wasn't possible. He didn't know where his father was, but he did know he wasn't teaching any high grade college for the obscenely wealthy.

"I just wanted to call to tell you that those three students I mentioned to you before will be attending. They'll be there in seven days. Yes I will be paying for two of the three, the third has decided to pay his own way. Yes principal I'll tell them. Okay, goodbye."

Yoshimi hung up her phone and shook her head, "Ah that man." She sighed. "Well he tells you to dress warm, make sure you have nice hair cuts, and he added in an Aloha, even though the school isn't in Hawaii."

Aloha? All this talk of hair cuts?

Coincidence, Tatewaki decided. Pure, simple coincidence.

There was no way that man would be the principal of two schools, he could barely manage even one!

Tatewaki shook his head and horror crept through him!

What if it _was_ that man? He shuddered again, "Have you ever met the principal?" He asked.

"Not in person." Yoshimi said.

"Do you know his name?" Tatewaki pressed.

"I never cared enough to remember it. I think it's Kendo or something like that."

Tatewaki relaxed. That was that, his father was Kuno, not Kendo. He was perfectly safe.

**

* * *

**

When Ryoga woke up it was dark, he was sprawled out on the Tendo couch and he noticed Kasumi was clearing away the dishes from what looked like a great dinner.

He sighed as his stomach rumbled, Kasumi heard both sounds and turned towards him, she smiled warmly at him and said "Good evening Ryoga. You were sleeping so well I didn't want to disturb you."

"Th-thanks." Ryoga yawned. He wished she had woken him, he'd only had nightmares.

"I made sure to set aside some dinner for you," Kasumi said, "It's not much but it should be enough." She said, and she quickly went and got a rather large plate covered and piled with food.

Well at least she'd been right, it'd be enough.

Ryoga headed over to the table, and ended up behind the new TV that Soun had bought with his American wealth.

Kasumi came over and took his hand, he felt a jolt move between them as the older woman slowly and calmly led him to the table without once calling him an idiot.

He sat down, and she sat down across from him.

"I'll have to move the dish when you're done anyway," Kasumi said, "I'll wait. I know you don't take long."

Ryoga felt himself blushing as he said "Well that's because it's so good."

Kasumi smiled, "Thank you." She said. "So tell me, what did you do yesterday, when you got lost?"

Ryoga shuddered, "I . . . I wandered around . . . saw some things, got found by Ukyo. What did you all do?" He asked.

Kasumi frowned, "Well I was rather upset yesterday. A misunderstanding really. I don't know what the others did. Today however father and Mr. Saotome announced that they'd be going to build a new dojo on some land they bought in Hawaii while Mrs. Saotome fulfills her dream of becoming an erotic film star."

"Oh that's just ducky." Ryoga scoffed. He knew since his mother was a wicked old creature he had no right to pity Ranma, but he did anyway.

"Father is leaving me in charge of the house," Kasumi went on, "He said I could act as if it were my own, and that I'd be the temporary guardian of Akane and Ranma."

"That's cool. Maybe you can get Ranma to behave." Ryoga said.

Kasumi frowned at him, and he thought he'd said something wrong, but she said to him, "Ukyo told me you might go to Furinkan with Ranma."

"Yeah . . ." Ryoga said. "I haven't really decided."

"I think you should." Kasumi said, reaching across the table and taking Ryoga's hand again, he felt his heart rate accelerate and Kasumi said softly, "I'd like it if you stayed here while you attend school. I know with Nabiki gone off to college you wont have much reason to stick around but . . . I'd like it if you stayed. To help me keep Ranma in line that is, and . . . well I'm a little worried about you begin alone."

"Why's that?" Ryoga asked, swallowing a lump in his throat.

"Well . . . I'll tell you the truth," Kasumi said.

Ryoga bitterly thought _The truth, well that'll be a refreshing change of pace_.

"Those assassins that came for you and Ranma . . . they have me scared. Scared for you more than anyone else Ryoga, Ranma almost always has a friend with him, but you . . . aside form Nabiki you're almost always alone." Her eyes seemed to plead with him, "Stay here with me where you'll be as safe as you can be."

Ryoga shrugged, "Okay. Sure." He said. He guessed Kasumi was genuinely worried about him, but at the same time he realized that _she'd_ need protection too. Nabiki would be fine because Jun had really been after Ryoga, even though he wanted to go with her to and keep her safe.

He realized that though he disliked him immensely now, he'd have to put his hopes in Kuno's fighting abilities in case something did happen to Nabiki.

And he'd just have to help Ranma protect Kasumi and the others.

It was his duty, and it made him sort of glad to know he could call the Tendo house "home" even when Nabiki wasn't there.

It made him feel as if he really belonged there, even though he knew he didn't, being able to pretend that he did made him feel good, so he smiled at Kasumi and said "There's nothing I'd like better."

Kasumi smiled, "Good." She said.

Ryoga ate the delicious food she'd prepared for him, and then midway though a thought occurred to him, he wasn't sure if he should mention it, since he didn't know what had happened to the assassin but he wanted to keep talking to Kasumi, didn't want her to get bored just sitting there patiently waiting for him to finish.

He said, "What about that bakery you were going to open with Lotion?"

"Oh that?" Kasumi smiled, "If Lotion ever comes back we'll do that. If she doesn't I hope she enjoys whatever it is that she finds herself doing."

"You think she'll come back then?" Ryoga asked.

Kausmi smiled, "The question you really want to ask is whether or not I think she's still alive, and the answer to both is yes. But that's not important, you eat up." Kasumi said.

Ryoga felt uncomfortable, Kasumi just sat there patiently she had to be hoping he'd finish soon, but he was rather enjoying it and wanted to take his time so he tried one more conversational piece, "Kasumi . . . I don't want to seem rude . . . but this is so great you could probably have a restraint without anyone's help."

"Thank you." Kasumi smiled.

"And I was thinking . . . since I don't want to have to fight Ranma for bread once we go back to attending the same school . . . well maybe . . ."

"You'd like to know if I'd pack a lunch for you. Of course I would, you're part of the family after all . . . it may not be official until you've married Nabiki, but I still see you as part of the family."

Ryoga smiled, such a warm feeling filled his chest, he sort of wished Kasumi was really his older sister, he'd have suffered less if he had someone like her in his life from the start.

Of course they'd never see each other if she had been, she'd probably have inherited the family sense of direction.

"Actually, on that note," Kasumi said, sounding reluctant, "do you still think you'll marry Nabiki?"

Ryoga frowned. What a question. He wanted to still, he loved her still, but he knew he'd have a hard time trusting her completely, knew he himself was unworthy of her trust as well.

He wanted to be her husband, but did he deserve it? Was it the best thing for either of them?

He shook his head, "I'll see how she feels about me when she gets back from college." He said.

Kasumi nodded, "Wise. Who knows what might happen while you two are apart." She smiled and took Ryoga's now empty plate, "Should I walk you to her room now? She may be asleep, but that's where you prefer to sleep isn't it?"

"N-no." Ryoga said. "The uh . . . the couch is fine." He got up and head for the couch.

It got really dark all of a sudden.

"Ryoga . . ." Kasumi said, "That's the hall closet."

Wow! Ryoga decided he was out of it. But he ended up in here a lot, maybe this place had some kind of magnetic pull to him.

Kasumi let him out and guided him to the couch, "Sweet dreams Ryoga." She said.

Ryoga thought sadly, that he'd try.

And though he did, as soon as he fell asleep it was the same old dream.

Nabiki and Kuno kissing and laughing at his stupidity.

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Next Time:** _Ryoga goes to school, but wouldn't you know it, school hasn't started yet! But who's this hanging out at the school? Ranma and Akane discuss life in a house without their parents, both see possibilities, but can it be that Ranma's ideas are so widely different from Akane's that she is forced to draw him a diagram, and Kasumi, of all people, will hit on Ryoga? But what about her "older men only" rule? And how will the already upset Yoshimi handle _that_? Our unnamed youth will confront Ushio, but does the Koruda patron have the answers he seeks? What does he need them? Find out next time!_

**Note: **Akane the Great was not really my favorite chapter either, I'd love to lie and say that I was just rusty, but to tell the truth though I wasnt happy with the chapter at all it was what I planned it to be. It was hard to be funny while trying to make readers think Nabiki was dead though. I tried to manage to damage with Akane's victory, and Lotion's first official victory, but I knew it wouldnt bust any gutts.


	17. Confessions

**Charlotte**'**s Sequel  
****Chapter Sixteen  
****Confessions**

Ryoga had been wandering all afternoon, he'd rather assumed it would take him a week to find the school so he'd left early.

And he didn't really want to talk to Nabiki. He had no right to be mad at her, but he was. He was mad at himself too. The difference was he still loved her, and he'd never loved himself so if one of them had to go it was himself.

So he did.

It always felt good to be out on his own, no leash, no walls.

He'd been out from the Tendo house for just half a day, and it was getting dark, he figured he'd set up a camp as soon as he found a good spot for it.

But then he noticed something very bizarre, even a little scary!

Furinkan High, he'd made it, and in less than a day!

Well that's just super! But there was no school yet. Sort of a disappointment, waste of his time really. He supposed he might as well try to see how far away the training hall was, or rather how many days it would take him to get there, so he was about to turn around and leave when he heard a crashing noise inside.

His eyes narrowed, perhaps that thrice cursed Jun was still there, perhaps he'd have another chance!

Another chance to what? Nabiki wasn't dead . . .

Well a chance to turn her would be murderer in to the authorities.

He faced the school, braced himself for a fight and charged!

He exploded through the door, knocking being out of the question and he having no time for knobs or the typical more dramatic but less impressive "burst." He did not however consider stealth.

He ran flat out and after about five entire minutes, at which point he found himself in the PE storage room, which he was certain was in an entirely different building than the one he'd come into, he decided he was doing nothing but wasting time.

Slowly, carefully he exited the storage room, but found himself somehow in the gym now.

Boy did that bring back memories.

He sighed weakly, "Memories." He said aloud.

"Oh? Of what?" A young woman asked.

Ryoga spun around, a red head was approaching him, for an instant he suspected it was Ranma, but he decided it couldn't be. She wore glasses and her hair was much longer than Ranma's, though Ranma had fooled him that way before.

She was a little taller than Ranko, but not much, could be platform shoes, Ryoga thought.

The young woman approached him, she shifted her weight to one leg and said "Why did you come back here, Hibiki?"

So she knew him eh? That settled it, this was _so_ Ranma!

"What makes you think I've come back? How do you know my name?" Ryoga asked dumbly, playing along as he approached her, ready to get the jump on Ranma for the first time!

"Duh, because Tendo Nabiki was always bragging about her boyfriend, Hibiki Ryoga, the only kid who could match Saotome Ranma! And you guys fight in the gym a lot."

"Oh I wouldn't say a lot." Ryoga said.

"I heard a ruckus down here and came to investigate. When I saw you I thought Saotome was here too, but I guess not. Would have been awesome to see you two fight! I mean really just go at it, anything goes combat."

"Sounds like a good idea." Ryoga said darkly.

"I know." The girl shrugged. "That's why I say, too bad Saotome isn't here."

"Oh he's here." Ryoga grinned.

"Really?" The young woman blinked, "Where?"

Ryoga drew back his fist and slammed it into Ranma's cheek, "Hah! Got'cha Ranma, can't fool me with this one!"

"Ow!" The girl cried, holding her cheek as tears streamed down from her eyes, "What did you do that for you jerk?"

And . . . yep, good feeling's gone.

Crap! Crap he'd just hit some poor, normal girl! He rushed over to her, tripping over his own legs as he did, but she just snapped her leg up like lightning, kicking him right under the chin. "Don't try anything!" She warned.

Ryoga shook his head, having barely felt her blow but knowing it to be a clear sign to keep away he complied. "I'm really sorry," he said, "I thought you were Ranma in disguise, he does that to me sometimes because . . . well I really don't know why he does it, but I'm still really sorry!"

The girl stood up and spat some blood onto the gym floor, but no teeth. She opened her mouth and moved her tongue over her perfect white teeth, counting them Ryoga guessed. "All there . . . okay, you're lucky."

Actually she was lucky, that'd been a light tap compared to what he was capable of. Man did he feel bad!

He searched her green eyes for some sign of forgiveness, but none was forthcoming. Instead she said "What're you doing here?"

"Well I got lost." Ryoga admitted. "I was just—hey, what are you doing here?"

The young woman frowned. "Well me, I was just looking for someone, thought I might find a clue or two if I came to the place I last saw them. You haven't seen . . . no, never mind." The young woman decided.

Ryoga looked her over, she was not wearing the school uniform, but she seemed the school age. Her green eyes seemed to scream different, something about them seemed colder, older than this girl looked.

He still felt bad about hitting her though, so he said "Tell me who it is. I've been all over, maybe I've seen them."

"No, I'm sure I can find them on my own. I'm very good at it." She said with a smile. "But uh, I'll take a break. I'll take you home."

"Uh, this is going to sound really childish but I'm not supposed to go home with strangers." Ryoga said, and he was right, it sounded infantile! Curse Nabiki for making him say that, but it was surprisingly effective at helping him keep from being abducted by kidnappers and homicidal maniacs.

The young woman just laughed though, "Not _my_ home! I mean yours! I'll take you back to your hot girl friend, I've got some business to discuss with her anyway and I don't think you should be going around unsupervised. If I were thirty or forty years older only one of us would still be alive right now, and I think you know which one of us it'd be."

Ryoga smiled sheepishly, "Uh, sorry about that."

"Never mind. Let's get you back where it's safe. For others that is." The woman said, rubbing her jaw. Ryoga was too embarrassed to argue.

**

* * *

**

"Gee, can you imagine it? We'll be months, maybe a whole year without parental supervision!" Akane said excitedly.

"I know, just think about it!" Ranma said, no less excited than she.

"I mean we can do . . . whatever we like." Akane said, scooting closer to him.

"I know, next time Ryoga and I fight there wont be anyone t'pull us off each other! Real deal baby!"

"What?"

"Oh, and the next time I fight you no one'll be able t'stop ya from whacking me t'death usin' the couch as a club!" Ranma assured her.

"Ranma, isn't there anything we might do aside from fighting?" Akane asked.

"I aint eatin' your cooking." Ranma said flatly.

Akane punched him in the head.

Oh no! That really _was_ all they did!

She rushed over to him, "Are you okay?"

"Heeey, I'll take youse, all four of youse!" Ranma slurred and his eyes were staring off in different directions until Akane hit him again, causing his eyes to return to normal.

"Easy Akane!" He said, "They aint even gone yet!"

Akane shook her head. There had to be some way to get Ranma to want what she was pretending to want, how else could she turn him down and tease him for being the pervert she'd always known he really was?

**

* * *

**

Ushio Koruda leaned back in his chair re-reading the evaluations for his promising students. He needed a new K-Fighter, one of them had deserted at that dizzy little amusement park.

He whistled to himself to make the day go by faster, he was really starting to hate being the master of a dojo full of students who only paid for lesions so they could check out his hot instructors, one of whom was his daughter and therefore not to be touched by any but the most worthy students in his opinion.

He sat there thinking these thoughts to himself when the door burst open and a tall youth with shoulder length white hair entered the room. Ushio was trying to decide whether it was a slightly rough girl, or a rather pretty boy when the youth said "I am here to see Ushio Kuroda. I hear that's you."

"Then you hear wrong. It's Koruda, not Kuroda. You've mixed up the U and the O. A common mistake, but annoying."

"I'm sorry . . . " The boy said, looking ashamed, but he quickly collected himself, "Uh-I mean I don't care! You have information I want, and if you know what's good for you'll tell me what I want to know! That is, if _you_ want to live."

"Do you have any idea how many times you've used the word "want" without even telling me your name? Not only do I not know what you want, but I refuse to give it to you. I don't give in to demanding, whining children." Ushio said, waving his hand to dismiss the boy.

The boy didn't move. Ushio looked very closely at him, he was not familiar, and he was not dressed as a Nekkekami, yet somehow he reminded the Koruda master of Jun's guild.

He wondered if Jun had sent this boy here to kill Anzu for trying to fight him in the tournament.

Well that simply wasn't to be tolerated, that girl was necessary to carry on the family line, and she'd grown on him, as children tended to do, he was quite fond of her.

"In this place, young man, threats are answered with force. Change your tone, or I _force_ you out."

The youth didn't seem at all afraid, he just crossed his arms and said, "I'll sing while standing on my head if that's what it takes to get answers out of you. But answers I'll have, you understand?"

"Haven't heard your tone change . . . also, I _would_ like to see the upside down singing thing." Ushio said, preparing himself for battle just in case.

**

* * *

**

Ranko was sitting in front of the koi pond, having attempted as Ranma to see if he was fast enough to strike and claim a fish without touching the water.

In retrospect it _had _been pretty stupid, but since Ranma had heard that blood flowed faster through women's brains or something of that nature he figured if there _was_ a way to figure out how to do it, he'd do well to retain his fine feminine form.

That's when Akane strode over and handed Ranko about an inch thick stack of paper.

She raised an eyebrow, "Uh, okay . . . what's this?"

"Home work." Akane said.

Ranko blinked, "School's still a month away!"

"A week Ranma, a week."

"I know that, I'm just ignoring the fact!" Ranko said indignantly. She took the stack of papers and looked at the first page.

Whoa.

The next page and . . . wow, she didn't know two people could even _do_ that!

Page three . . . holy cow! Page four . . . son of a gun, look at them twist.

Ranko slapped the pages back together, closing the "book", and sent Akane a sideways glance, "Akane, this is just—"

"That, Ranma darling, is what we're going to do while the adults are away. Do you understand now? Do the pictures help?"

Ranko sneered, Akane was totally coming on to her, and she was a girl! But she so knew how to get out of this, she threw the stack of paper, she held it high and said, "This is brilliant!"

Akane blushed, "R-really? There's some things we can do when you're a girl too, I mean to experiment y'know? I mean I don't think I am . . . that way, but maybe I am, Nabiki used to keep telling everyone I was."

'Sounds like Nabiki' Ranko thought. However she said, "Yeah? Great! I mean this is the coolest martial arts manual I've ever seen!"

"Yeh-what? No. No, Ranma just . . . no." Akane said.

"Shh! No time! I gotta practice these, you're gonna be so surprised!" Ranko said, running off.

"Ranma, its not martial arts!" Akane shouted after her.

"Whazzat? I didn't hear you Akane!" Ranko cried as she ran for the dojo.

"And you need a partner to 'practice!" Akane added.

"I'll get Ryoga! Thanks Akane!" Ranko cried.

"You'll do what?" Akane screamed and Ranko realized that last quip might not have been too smart, so she put on a little extra speed for the dojo.

**

* * *

**

Ryoga was amazed at the ease with which this young woman guided him back home, she clearly knew her way to the Tendo Training Hall, though Ryoga didn't recognize her.

They arrived and she led him right to the door, which was answered by an annoyed looking Akane. "Ryoga!" She growled, "Don't you dare spar with Ranma! Don't you dare!"

"Uh . . . what?" Ryoga frowned.

"Until I get a chance to talk to Ranma you're not allowed to practice with him, no practice at all, you hear?"

"Uh . . . okay." Ryoga said.

"Ah, you must be Akane." The young woman said.

"And how do you know that?" Akane asked, her expression unsure.

"Your sister talked a lot about you, you're obviously not the motherly type and you're clearly criminally insane so . . ."

"You must be one of Nabiki's friends!" Akane scoffed, "Nabiki one of your friends is here with Ryoga!" Akane glanced at Ryoga, slight concern in her eyes, "She's not pimping you out again is she?"

"Again?" Ryoga frowned. "When was the first time?"

But Nabiki showed up and roughly shoved Akane away from the door, "Ryoga!" She shouted, "Where the heck were you? And who the heck is this woman? Heaven help you if you say she's another long lost fiancée!"

"_You_ don't know her?" Ryoga was surprised.

The young woman adjusted her glasses and extended a hand to Nabiki, "I am Professor Tosa, from The University. I have recently been informed that you would be majoring in my class, good for you."

Nabiki's jaw dropped. "You're from the university for the obscenely wealthy?"

"I am." Tosa said. "I have taught there for five years."

"You look sixteen." Nabiki said, arching her eyebrows.

"I am not." Tosa said simply, looking down at her hand a if to be sure Nabiki wasn't going to take it, then retracting it. "May I come in? There are things I'd like to discuss with you in private."

"Uh . . . sure."

"I'll just uh . . . go do something." Ryoga offered, and Nabiki nodded dismissively.

So what was there to do if he couldn't fight Ranma or uh . . . 'hang out' with Nabiki?

Nabiki and Tosa sat down at the table and began to speak quietly, he sat nearby and watched. How boring.

"Ryoga!" Kasumi gasped, "Where have you been today? I've been looking for you!"

"I tried to get to school." Ryoga said.

Kasumi laughed softly, but it was a pleasant laugh, not the sort of laugh Ranma would have used on him if he'd told him that. It was as if Kasumi actually _was_ laughing with Ryoga even though he wasn't laughing. In fact it made him _want_ to laugh.

"What ever will we do with you?" Kasumi asked, sitting down in front of Ryoga.

Ryoga noticed Nabiki's eyes flash for an instant, what was her problem?

He wondered this but Tosa diverted Nabiki's attention again before too long. Kasumi took Ryoga's hand in hers and said "Ryoga, when the time comes I will walk with you to school, how's that?"

"Uh . . . okay." Ryoga said, and he was pretty sure he was blushing.

Now Nabiki was wringing her fists, but remaining perfectly calm and polite in front of her new teacher.

Kasumi's smile took on a different tone, and Ryoga would have sworn it was the one Nabiki wore when she wanted to get busy, but this was Kasumi so it had to mean something else. She came a little closer to him and said "You've still got a week before you need to worry about school anyway, and I told you I didn't think it'd be safe for you to be wandering around on your own."

"Well yeah but I actually got there, a little slow but I got there, so maybe I'm getting better."

"That's great!" Kasumi said.

"No you're not," Happi said, appearing out of nowhere and landing on Ryoga's shoulder, he took a little microphone out of Ryoga's ear, "I was using this to subliminally control your movements and direct you towards the all girls school, you failed terribly and ignored every direction I gave you."

Ryoga stared at the little microphone. "How long has that been in my ear?" He asked casually, though he tensed up.

"Since y'woke up m'boy!" Happosai said, bouncing around happily, "Didn't even notice, did you? Heehee!"

Ryoga relaxed. So Happosai hadn't been the voice in his head. Well okay.

Who was it then? What game were they playing? Could it really be _his_ voice?

He noticed now that Kasumi was rubbing his shoulder, what the heck was going on in this house? "It feels like you've been fighting too much lately, maybe you need to spend this week resting." Kasumi said.

Ryoga shrugged. "Maybe."

"Here, you can just rest in my bed, it's more comfortable than Nabiki's. I'll sleep in living room tonight."

"Wow, that's awfully nice of you." Ryoga said.

"So long as she really _does_ sleep in the living room." Nabiki loudly whispered, though Kasumi acted as if she didn't hear at all.

"It's really no trouble, Ryoga dear."

**

* * *

**

The young man sighed as Ushio passed him another soda. "I usually don't drink this stuff."

"Get over yourself kid, it's just root beer. We had a ton left over after the tournament, turns out Anzu and Tomoko don't like this stuff."

"Very unhealthy." The young man said.

"So's challenging me in my own dojo sonny." Ushio pointed out.

"Uh, I kicked your butt." The youth said.

"Well yeah . . . I'm just sayin' is all." Ushio said.

That's when Anzu and Tomoko came in, "Hey! Who's that? Why are you two in my office?" Tomoko demanded.

"We sort of messed up mine." Ushio said. "But I tell you it was the best challenge I've ever had!"

"You actually fought in your office?" Anzu gasped.

"What? Of course not! We had a hamburger eating contest, he creamed me but the winner had to pay for the burgers so who really came out on top, eh? Your old man knows a thing or two!"

"There's still some left if you want." The young man nodded.

"Sweet!" Tomoko lunged forward, snatching the bag and hitting her head on her desk. She seemed not to mind as she reached into the bag and pulled out four big fat hamburgers, "Two for me, two for you Anzu!"

"N-no, I'm watching my girlish figure." Anzu said. Tomoko didn't argue. The young Koruda looked at the handsome young man and then to her fater, "Want to tell me what he's doing here?"

"Hmm? Oh he's got something he wants to talk to your uncle Jun about, I didn't really pay attention to what it was, but I haven't seen Jun since the tournament so . . ."

The young man shrugged, "Have either of you seen Jun? It's vitally important that I find him."

"Why don't you tell me what you want with him?" Anzu asked.

"I'd rather not." The youth said, standing up. He was pretty tall, Tomoko was staring at him like a starving woman, which didn't make sense because she was half way through her second hamburger.

Anzu shifted her weight to her left leg and said "I want to know what you have to do with Jun. I want to know that you're not part of his crew before I tell you anything. I'll challenge you if that's what it takes."

"I just ate." The youth frowned.

"I mean actual martial arts, not food." Anzu said.

"I know, and I just ate." He said with a frown.

"Get over it," Anzu said, "if you really want to know about Uncle Jun."

His expression changed instantly, his eyes were narrow, his face was serious. "Fine. The dojo, if you please."

"I gotta see this!" Tomoko said.

"Hmm, dinner and a show, I like this guy." Ushio decided.

Anzu threw her coat to the ground, she was wearing only her tight training outfit, she hoped her exposed cleavage would throw the young man off guard, he seemed about her age and probably liked girls.

But his expression was serious as he stepped onto the floor, gently setting down a pouch he'd worn over his neck. He watched her closely and Anzu was just about to shout for the match to begin when he held up his hand. "Time out!" He said. "Wait."

"What?" Anzu frowned.

"Well this doesn't seem fair does it?" He protested.

"Look, I know you just ate," Anzu said, getting sick of his whining, but he held up a hand to silence her.

"Excuse me, ma'am. Yes you," He said to Tomoko, "Can you go help your friend over there?"

"What? Uh . . . sure." Tomoko said, standing alongside Anzu. She wore her normal outfit, fishnet stalkings and gloves, a black skirt that Anzu often accused her of buying from the gothic baby slut rack.

The guy just nodded and said, "Okay, that's a little better. Now it's fair." He stood there, and raised his hand and motioned for them to come.

Anzu scoffed, "Let's get him Tomoko!"

The other girl needed no second bidding, she leapt into the air, actually touching the dojo ceiling, and threw one of her boomerangs at the young man, Anzu leapt forward and did a round house kick, just to start things off soft.

She hit air, and Tomoko's boomerang swept through emptiness and hit the ground, he'd dodjged to the right hand side, Anzu twisted and brought her fist towards his head, he twisted as well and dodged.

Tomoko was on him before Anzu even realized she'd failed to punch him, the other girl tried to knee him in the base of the spine, but he slid to the left and Tomoko had to stop her attack quickly to avoid hitting Anzu.

The two stood side by side, glaring at their opponent.

The young man smiled a rather charming smile at them, and Anzu found herself blushing, wondering if maybe he'd like her phone num—

Suddenly he was coming at them, he covered the distance between them before Anzu could bring up any kind of defense! Curses, hadnt it been _her_ idea to use sex appeal against _him_?

His fists shot out forward, one slammed into her chest, the other into Tomoko's. It must have been a light hit because she barely felt it.

But it threw her far back, she flew backwards at break neck speeds, terrified because she knew once she hit the wall it'd be the end of her!

But she didn't hit the wall, not for a while at least, and it terrified her for every second she expected to hit the wall, until finally she gently tapped it and fell to the ground, Tomoko collapsed on top of her.

"Impressive. I have no idea what you just did, but it was impressive." Anzu's father said, patting the young man on the back.

"Yeah well—" The youth coughed and began to throw up all over the floor.

"Ah, never fight on a full stomach." Anzu's dad suggested.

"Hey, what's he barfin' for when he didn't even get hit? I'm the one who'se gonna—ugh!" Tomoko complained but then she began to vomit as well.

Anzu shook her head. "What was that? What technique was that?"

The young man wiped his mouth and looked miserable, "It's just what I do." He said. "D'you have like . . . a mop or something?"

"Y-yeah boss, there's some here too. Sorry Anzu." Tomoko said.

"Just get off of me." Anzu told her, and the other girl did. Anzu went over to her father and said "Hey, what the heck? What did he do to us?"

Ushio shrugged. "I don't know. But can you do it again?"

"If I have to." The young man said, standing up straight and eyeing Ushio. "If you please, the information about Jun?"

Anzu shifted uneasily, "Well you won fair and square. Worse you humiliated the finest students of this dojo."

"I wasn't trying to. I was just trying to win without really hurting you."

"Right, well whatever. Your reward is well earned." Anzu took a deep breath, "But all I know of Jun is that he wants someone called Ranma."

The young man's hopeful face became a depressed frown. "Oh . . . thanks . . . I knew that."

"Ah, well Anzu's information may be a wash," Ushio said, "But I have information. I can bring you to Jun in no time at all."

"You said you didn't know where to find him." The young man accused.

"And I do not. But I know how to contact him, I will bring him here and you may speak to him here."

The youth frowned, "And what do you want in return?"

"I would like for you to aid my girls here. They are trying to fight Ranma and the other students of Tendo Training Hall and prove the superiority of our school."

"I haven't been traiened by you." The young man said.

"And Tendo hasn't trained most of the students under him, so I'm sure it's perectly fair. All I need is for you, them and a few others to fight, and win, I'll bring Jun to you."

The young man frowned. "Well . . . if it will bring Jun . . . very well."

Anzu's heart skipped a beat. She'd be on the same team as this super cute guy? Okay, time now to start applying liberal helpings of makeup before combat, yessir!

Tomoko seemed to be thinking the same thing because she'd suddenly collected herself and moved to slide up next to him. Anzu meant to beat her to it!

But Anzu's father led the young man back into Tomoko's office where they could discuss the uniform size, and both girls just slammed into each other.

By the time Anzu woke up again it was dark.

**

* * *

**

Ryoga watched Nabiki, she was being very quiet, she hadn't punished him, though she seemed really angry whenever Kasumi was speaking to him.

"Nabiki . . ." Ryoga whispered.

"Mm? Yes my love?" She asked.

He wondered if she really meant that.

Maybe she did.

That evening the mind of Ryoga Hibiki had been working hard to convince him that Nabiki was his one true love, perhaps she'd been manipulating Kuno, perhaps they had not really been kissing, at least not so passionately, perhaps she was simply using him for something!

After all, she was now going to attend a college for the obscenely wealthy . . .

With _him_.

She'd leave soon, and the odds of her telling him what she'd done were slipping. He'd probably do best to simply ask her, but then he'd just be asking her, true trust came from her feeling she loved him enough to tell _him_ . . . or something like that.

"You're going to college . . . are you . . . nervous, Nabiki?" Ryoga asked.

"A little." Nabiki said with a shrug.

"But you'll have friends there, wont you? I mean you talked to one of your professors, and Kuno will be there."

"Yeah, I guess so." Nabiki shrugged. "But I don't think I'll spend too much time with Kuno, he and I have never gotten along very well."

'Yes!' Ryoga thought triumphantly, then he frownd, 'Wait a minute, she's lying, because they get along well enough to kiss!' his demeanor became depressed.

"Nabiki . . . what would you do if I told you . . ." he trailed off. He couldn't tell her he'd witnessed her kissing Kuno . . .

"Told me what dear?" Nabiki asked, trying to sound sweet as she leaned closer to him.

Ryoga frowned. He looked downwards, maybe if he was honest with her . . . she'd be honest with him. "Nabiki, I kissed another girl."

Nabiki slapped him.

Then she slapped him again.

Then she punched him. It kind of hurt.

"Who the _hell_ do you think you are, kissing my sister?" She demanded.

"But I didn't kiss Akane!" Ryoga protested.

"Oh like that makes it any better!" Nabiki shouted, "Akane at least I could understand, this-this-this _thing_ you've got going with Kasumi just came out of nowhere! I mean what the hell?"

"I didn't kiss Kasumi!" Ryoga said.

"Then who?" Nabiki asked darkly. "Tell me her name. Tell me it was Yoshimi. Tell me she forced you. Tell me she hada gun to your head." Nabiki said.

Ryoga frowned, feeling worthless. She had every right to be angry, he'd been angry too, the only difference was that Nabiki was obviously quite good at sharing her anger with him, he'd kept it to himself.

Ryoga took a deep breath. "At the amusement park I kissed Ukyo."

"Why?" Nabiki demanded.

Ryoga frowned, he wanted to tell her the truth, but that seemed like a bad idea. So instead he said "Well she found me after I got lost, I uh . . . I got upset. And Ukyo was trying to comfort me and we sort of kissed."

"Bitch is going down." Nabiki punched her palm, "No wonder I couldn't find you, you were off making out with Ukyo!"

"How hard did you look?" Ryoga snapped, and he couldn't believe he'd said that do her!

It rolled right off of Nabiki though, she just grabbed him by the collar, "You're _my_ fiancé, and you can't kiss other girls at all. As for touching, yeah, that's off limits too. Not so much as a shake of hands, and if you bump in to somebody in a crowd you're going to rush home and shower thoroughly, because you'll be unclean!" Nabiki warned.

Ryoga shook his head, "That's a little—"

"Extreme? Well then don't go around kissing other girls, I don't care how upset you are! I'll comfort you, you idiot! It's called sex, it's good, you should have some!" Nabiki shouted, then added as if an afterthought, "But _only_ with me!"

She paced back and forth for a minute, then slapped him one last time, "Did you sleep with her?"

"It was only the kiss." Ryoga said, feeling miserable. How could he have sunk to such a level, Nabiki's trespass was forgotten for the moment because he was so miserably thinking about what _he'd_ done!

Nabiki sat down again and eyed him cautiously. "I'm . . . sorry." She said. "I . . . I really have no right to be mad at you over that, I mean I . . ." Ryoga tensed, thinking she was finally going to confess!

"I shouldn't have hit you." Nabiki said, wiping tears from her eyes, "You bastard. You're supposed to be mine alone."

"I'm . . . uh, sorry." Ryoga said.

"Just don't do it again, okay?" Nabiki said.

"Y-yeah!" Ryoga said. Nabiki kissed him, and she left.

Ryoga sat there for a few minutes alone.

Gosh he was lucky Nabiki hadn't dumped him.

He was so lucky to have a girlfriend like her, who'd forgive him for something like that.

He was so amazingly fortunate to . . . hey wait a minute!

"Man . . . she's _good_." Ryoga decided, then began to try to find his way back to Kasumi's room.

Maybe Nabiki was cheating on him with Kuno . . . he'd need to really work hard and decide whether or not that mattered, because really he still loved her, and really it might have been nothing at all!

She played him often enough, maybe she'd just been playing Kuno.

He considered her reaction to him telling her he'd kissed Ukyo, and rubbed his cheek. She hadn't cared that he didn't love Ukyo, or that he hadn't meant to kiss her, she'd simply gotten angry. Why would a girl who's already having an affair get angry like that?

He'd just have to trust her.

He felt hands connect with his, and Nabiki's head appeared on his shoulder, "Come with me you directionless buffoon."

"O-okay." Ryoga sighed, and he let her guide him.

Knowing Nabiki he expected her not to guide him to Kasumi's room, but to her own room, but to his surprise she opened the door and it was indeed Kasumi's amazingly organized room.

"Thank you." Ryoga said.

"Don't mention it. You can repay me, and kind Kasumi by helping her keep this bed in good shape. I'll bet you she's never had sex in it. It probably wishes someone would. We should help it Ryoga."

"It's only a bed." Ryoga said firmly. "And I'm really tired." He added.

Nabiki shrugged. "Fine. I'll stay with you anyway. Maybe you'll change your mind in the middle of the night."

It was the middle of the night, but Ryoga didn't say so. Didn't really want her to leave.

So they slept—and _only_ slept—together in Kasumi's incredibly comfortable bed.

And though Ryoga still wasn't sure what he'd seen at the amusement park, he _was _convinced that there was no way Nabiki would _ever_ cheat on him.

**

* * *

**

He sat alone in the darkness, the wet damp hiding place deep beneath the school.

Water had become his ally, water had become his only ally.

The chosen one wanted him dead! But he was safe if he was near water. He would live if he was near water.

Jun sat, curled up in a ball against the cold, what a sad sight the master assassin had become, and he knew it.

Curse Han for betraying him, curse Maro for ruining everything, curse himself for doubting the _true_ chosen one!

He heard a soft panting, and he stopped making noise.

He heard the gentle patter of soft feet, the tapping of claws.

What monster was coming for him now?

Terrified the assassin wished he still had his coat, so that he could hide under it.

It would also have made a good shield; it could cushion the chosen one's blows when he found him!

But to his surprise it was not Ryoga Hibiki who appeared.

It was a dog.

An enormous German Shepherd dog, he wore a collar that said 'Mercedes' and had a rolled up piece of paper tucked into it. The dog barked and took a step nearer to Jun.

Jun reached out and took the paper. He opened it and read it quickly.

The fear was gone.

He stood up to his full height and patted the dog on the head, the animal recoiled from his touch but what did he care?

The fear was gone.

He gripped the letter tightly.

In a weeks time, it would be Ryoga, the chosen one who would need to fear. Jun read the letter once more for confirmation, and he knew.

He'd have to find a new gun. Several new guns. The fear was gone, the assassin was back.

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Next Time:** _Kasumi will flirt with Ryoga in front of Nabiki again! Ranma, Ryoga and Akane face off with the new and improved K-Fighters, but when all seems lost will Mercedes save the day? Jun is back to full strength and now he's not alone, what will become of them? Kasumi and Nabiki have a very important talk, and Nabiki finally agrees to tell Ryoga about Kuno, and Kinnosuke! Yoshimi sends some of her father's pink ninja disguised as police officers to arrest Ukyo for food poisoning, but they'll never take her alive and the task may just become impossible when her customers rise up in arms against them!_

**AN: **I'm not sure how many chapters there will be, it was scheduled for thirty like Charlotte's Web 1, then I shot for 45, then I tried going for 25, in the end I'm just going to surprise myself (I'm hoping it'll be less than 40!) however some chapters run long, sometimes I feel the urge to just throw something in, so right now I'm behind not only because it should have been finished by now, but also because by chapter seventeen we should have already had Nabiki at school flirting up a storm with Kuno and Kinnosuke, and be well into the Ryoga/Kasumi/Ukyo love triangle, that's all close but it should have happened already. We should have had two lemon chapters as well, but I removed both because I didn't feel like writing them.

Also, if we were going according to schedule someone other than Lotion should have left the cast by now, I'm not talking about Doctor Perverse because he _will_ show up from time to time (is it wrong to like someone so disgusting, perverted and cruel? Why yes, yes it is, be ashamed now!) Long story short (too late) the ride ends when it ends!


	18. Fight Fight Fight!

**Charlotte's Sequel  
****Chapter 17  
****Fight! Fight! Fight! **

The next beautiful morning Ryoga woke up and Nabiki was not with him. He yawned and opened the door and began to head downstairs when he realized he was walking on the branch of a tree.

Okay, he was out of it. He wasn't normally this bad . . . was he?

He climbed over the tree branch back to Kasumi's window, slipped fell and rang to doorbell instead.

"Hello!" Kasumi answered the door, blinked at him and smiled, "My, my, my, your sense of direction certainly keeps me guessing Ryoga-kun."

"Y-yeah. Sorry about that." Ryoga said. Hey wait, had she just called him "kun"? It wasn't like there was anything wrong with that, it was just that she didn't really do it all that often so . . . what was the deal?

She was being really nice lately.

Ryoga decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and accepted Kasumi's niceness at face value. She took his hand—boy her hands were soft—and led him to the table, where Nabiki was sitting, and eyeing them with annoyance.

She set him down next to Nabiki and quickly got him a plate. Then she skipped around and took a seat across from him. She tilted her pretty head to the side and rested her cheek on her palm as she watched him and Nabiki. No . . . wait . . . she was mostly watching him. Gazing intently at him, he felt like he should wave or something, but she broke the tense silence by asking "Do you two have anything planned today?"

"Not really." Nabiki and he said together.

"Then maybe you could help me, Ryoga. I wanted to do some cleaning, and reorganizing. With father and Mr. Saotome away I'll be able to rearrange the family room, and with auntie Nodoka gone I will be able to burn the futon we were letting her use."

"Those all sound like good plans." Ryoga nodded.

Kasumi fluttered her eyelashes—wait, she what? She never did that before! Well maybe he'd imagined it. None the less she smiled widely and said "I could use a pair of strong arms to help me. Will you help me, Ryoga?"

Ryoga shrugged. "Sure." He said.

"No he wont." Nabiki snapped. "He's busy."

"But you said—" Kasumi said.

"No, I just forgot is all. Ryoga and I are going to go . . . fishing."

"Fishing?" Ryoga asked.

"You know . . . fishing." Nabiki said with a wink.

"No . . . I don't." Ryoga said.

Nabiki brushed her hair out of her eyes, "You know . . . we go out to the woods by a lake for a few hours, come back without any fish, but we say we were fishing?"

"If we're not fishing what'll we be doing?" Ryoga asked reluctantly, he wasn't in the mood for one of Nabiki's "how to make money off of your disabled sense of direction" seminars.

Nabiki drummed her fingers on the table and said, "Spending time doing what couples do, Ryoga baby."

Oh. Arguing. Ryoga frowned, "Couldn't we do that here?"

"I prefer privacy." Nabiki said.

"Maybe I could borrow him before your alleged fishing trip?" Kasumi offered. "Or maybe . . . I could go along and chaperone, make sure you two behave yourselves."

"That's the last thing I need." Nabiki scoffed.

It seemed she was going to say more but Kasumi got up to leave, "Oh my, I've forgotten the . . ." Kasumi was saying as she rushed off.

Nabiki seemed ready to say more anyway when there was a gentle knock on the wall.

By gentle of course I mean a gigantic hole appeared when Mousse "knocked" it down.

" Tendo School, I Mousse, champion representative of the Koruda School of Combat have come to challenge you, Ranma Saotome, and you, Akane Tendo, to righteous battle!"

Nabiki blinked. Ryoga did too. She turned to him and sneered, "So who do you think he's mistaking you for, Ranma or Akane?"

Ryoga scoffed and stood up, "I, Ryoga Hibiki will accept your challenge!"

"Ryoga Hibiki? Fah, just as well for I have come to destroy you as well, piggy-boy!"

"Say again?" Ryoga coughed, "Did you just tell me you wanted to die?"

"And have you nothing to declare, Ranma Saotome?"

Ryoga grinned, "Oh do declare Ranma." He said to a bored looking Nabiki.

"I declare you all a bunch of comic book rejects who clearly need to get lives. I need to speak to my sister." She said, and went off after Kasumi.

"Uh . . . okay." Ryoga said. "So . . . I guess I'm alone.

"Oh no yer not!" Ranma said suddenly, appearing in the doorway of the guestroom, "I, Ranma Saotome will not accept that, I will not turn my back on a chance to show off—uh I mean to protect the Tendo Training Hall, I will fight!"

"And me too!" Akane cried, appearing from her bedroom dressed in some rather cute pajamas that had a pattern of little panda bears, but zero combat value.

Ryoga sighed. He'd rather have been on his own to show how truly awesome he was, but if this was how it was going to be, this was how it was going to be.

"Hey wait, aren't there usually five of you?" Ryoga asked.

One of the K-Figters, the only one wearing a helmet groaned, "Oh . . . I forgot that other guy . . . he's probably all right, so long as they didn't demolish that building yet . . . today is Friday right?"

"Uh . . . right." Ryoga said, feeling pretty sure it was actually Saturday. "Well three against four, I like those odds!"

**

* * *

**

Ranma led the charge, Mousse came at him, hidden weapons flying from his sleeves, but Ranma dodged each one easily!

He leapt high into the air—and hit his head on the ceiling.

"Hey, let's take this outside!" Ranma said.

"It does not matter to me, Ranma Saotome!" Mousse cried, leaping backwards, "I will fight you anywhere!"

"Oh yeah? Will ya fight me on land?" Ranma asked, lunging for Mousse and punching him square in the face, the Chinese boy flew back into a tree in the backyard, staggered and stood up tall and firm.

"Certainly." Mousse said, cracking his knuckles.

"And in the air?" Ranma lunged forward, dropped down onto his back and kicked up, hitting Mousse square in the lower jaw, sending him up into the tree branches and through them, Ranma followed him and the two exchanged blows midair.

"Would you fight me at sea?" Ranma sneered.

"Of cou—what?" Mousse wailed as Ranma hit him triangularly—because he was tired of hitting him squarely—on the head, knocking him down into the koi pond.

" Saotome School of Anythin' Goes Martial Arts, Marine Corps Technique!" Ranma laughed as Mousse hurtled down towards the water.

The duck quacked indignantly and only grew angrier as Ranma landed on top of it, using it to soften his landing.

"Like that duck boy? Just thought it up, was gonna use it on Ryoga, but you're just as good." Ranma grinned, "And now it's three on three even!"

**

* * *

**

Akane shuddered as Tomoko's kick slammed into her arm, Anzu came in from behind with a blow that would have laid a lesser woman out cold!

Akane felt an odd sensation go through her as she faced her two opponents, Anzu and Tomoko.

It was invincibility; she was Akane the great again!

"All right Anzu, lets see which of us is the better heir to the greater school!"

"Problem there hon is that I'm here to back the little powder puff up." Tomoko said.

"Oh yeah well I—" Akane began but Anzu cut her off.

"Now just a minute, 'powder puff'? What the heck, Tomoko?"

"What? I didn't mean anything. I was gonna say 'princess' but I thought you'd get mad."

"So you call me a powder puff instead?" Anzu demanded.

"Uh, hey . . . we're fighting." Akane pointed out.

"No, _we're_ fighting," Anzu corrected, "You're behind on the times, Tendo."

"Look, if you don't like it pretend ya didn't hear it and—"

"I cant believe you'd say that, it's almost as if—"

"Um, hey if you two don't want to fight we can reschedule and call this one a forfeit." Akane offered.

"I mean ya are kind of a sissy, that time you broke your arm you cried—"

"All I'm saying is if the dice lands on a four it's a four, if it falls off the table—"

Akane was about to say something else when the two arguing young women suddenly lunged for her!

A trap! They lulled her into a false sense of security by pretending to be idiots!

Anzu came in from the front and Akane knew that Tomoko was probably coming in from the rear, Akane braced herself for the back blow and put her arms up to block Anzu!

Anzu's kick laid her flat, but nothing came from Tomoko, as Akane hit the ground she saw the other Koruda martial artist had been intercepted by Ranma!

So he had his uses . . . that Ranma . . .

But it was too late for her, Anzu came for her, katana drawn, raised and ready to plunge into Akane's heart, which really seemed a bit extreme considering the fact that Akane was already beaten!

But then something big and sort of gray knocked Anzu out of the air!

Mercedes had saved the day! He was now licking Anzu's face like there was no tomorrow, and Anzu-pinned beneath the dog squirmed and screamed as she tried to get free.

"Oh no! He's licking my face, it's everywhere! It's sticky, what's he been eating? Oh my mouth, it got in my mouth! Help me, I'm being violated, a dog just slobbered into my mouth! Help me, help me! I'm not a lollipop, the cherry flavor is just my perfume, I swear! I don't even like you as a friend!"

Akane sat back and grinned.

She supposed she'd better save the Koruda girl, but then again Anzu _had _come at her with a sword so . . .

Maybe a little longer.

**

* * *

**

Jun watched the battle alongside Tosa. "The Great King is not really exerting himself."

"And why should he, against such an opponent?" Tosa asked, running a hand through her red hair.

"When he fought me it was light fighting with a god!" Jun said.

"As it should be, but this K-Fighter is a nobody, he does not even remove his helmet. The Great King will not kill him, not unless he becomes careless, and in that case it will not do."

Jun nodded. "What shall we do?"

"Pardon?" Tosa blinked. "What shall we do? Why nothing of course! We are only observing. When the proper moment to strike arrives we will know, and we will take the chosen one then."

Jun nodded. "When Ryoga Hibiki is turned into a helpless pig he will be ours."

"Indeed." Tosa said calmly. "You have the support of the entire Nekekami now, another agent: Fenrir, will be here shortly to join us."

At that moment a huge german shepherd appeared on the battle field. "Punctual of him." Jun said.

Tosa stared at him for a moment. "That is _not_ Fenrir." She said after an awkward silence. "That is a dog."

"Yes, an unnaturally large dog. And the name Fenrir, I just assumed . . ." Jun said. "Agent Fenrir's profile detailed him as an Unusual."

"That it did," Tosa admitted, "One who joined us just two years ago. He betrayed his old guild at the battle of Hong Kong."

Jun shrugged. He'd been in Hong Kong with Lo-Chun during the battle. It had been crazy, though it had been reported as nothing than a surprising crime outbreak in truth several great assassins had lost their lives in a wasteful conflict, and a lot of Hong Kong had been scarred from the fighting in ways normal people might not notice.

It was exactly the sort of thing that wouldn't have to happen any more if Ryoga would awaken and take control of the guilds.

Before it was too late.

**

* * *

**

Ryoga leapt backwards as the masked K-Fighter came at him, but he seemed to be moving slower than usual.

The K-Fighter reached him and threw his fist back preparing to punch Ryoga.

He seemed slowed down too, it was odd, Ryoga felt somehow heavier than normal.

And suddenly things returned to their normal speed as the K-Fighter's fist flew towards Ryoga like lightning!

It was harder than a normal punch, but not enough to really bother Ryoga, he laughed and head butted the K-Fighter!

It was easier than he thought it would be, his head moved faster and he struck harder than he had planned, and the K-Fighter flew back, hitting the ground so hard that he left a crater.

Was he dead? Ryoga walked over and prodded him with his foot.

The helmet was cracked, the K-Fighter removed it with shaking hands revealing a dazed face with eyes slightly crossed.

"Ugh!" The young man groaned as he staggered to his feet, he glared at Ryoga, "N-No, I've come too far to give up now. I've got to find Jun, and the only way for me to do that is to beat you!" His eyes narrowed and he lunged forward, striking for Ryoga!

Jun? What did this guy have to do with Jun? Ryoga spun out of the way in time to avoid being hit in the stomach . . . but then suddenly he was falling!

Well he was flying really, backwards towards the Tendo family's stone wall that surrounded the garden, except it didn't feel like flying the way it did when Ranma hit him, it felt as if he were falling from a building!

It was confusing and made Ryoga's stomach uncomfortable, he slammed into the wall as if it were the ground and lay there.

A bizarre idea occurred to him and he stood up.

On top of the wall, as if it were the ground, staring at the grass as if it were a wall..

He had to look up to see the other fighters who fought normally on the proper ground.

Then gravity began to work properly again and Ryoga fell flat on his face.

He got to his feet and charged, the K-Fighter thrust his hands forward again, and again Ryoga felt gravity shift.

But it didn't matter! Even if it meant running up a vertical surface he ran on until he reached the K-Fighter, whose eyes widened, he slammed his fist into the other man's face, though it was with less force than he wanted for he started to slip and fall again.

Now he was starting to feel a little queasy.

He hit the ground hard! Or rather he hit the wall hard, so hard he broke it!

But he also broke whatever spell he was under, and he attacked again, standing on actual ground properly, this time leaping high into the air instead of running forward Ryoga soared high, and came down on the K-Fighter!

He pinned the armored invader, the K-Fighter coughed and tried feebly to shove Ryoga off, but Ryoga's fist shot down to his throat!

_Slam _me_ into a wall will you?_ Ryoga thought darkly.

He drew back his fist meaning to knock this nuisance out cold when suddenly he stopped.

Ranma had his fist and held it firmly. "Hey, hey, that's enough. We won." He said.

Ryoga stumbled away from a surprised but mostly uninjured K-Fighter. The young man looked at Ryoga closely and shook his head. "I should have known better than to try to face the man who may yet be the Chosen One." He said, and he simply left, leaping onto the roof and from there proceeding from rooftop to rooftop.

"Wait!" Ryoga called after him, but he was gone. "What do you have to do with Jun?" He whispered to himself.

Ranma shook his head, "That's right, I _am_ the chosen one, chosen to defeat any who stand against me—er I mean against this training hall!"

_Idiot._ Ryoga, or at least the voice in his head thought bitterly, _He didn't mean you. _

The other K-Fighters stuck around however, Anzu showered thoroughly and then dressed in some of Nodoka's cloths since Akane said "Mrs. Saotome wont notice if those go missing since they spend so much time on guys' bedroom floors." Ranma had protested but half-heartedly.

"It's crazy," Anzu had said, "I just showered for like an hour, but I feel kind of unclean as soon as I put these on. Hey, what're these hard spots?"

**

* * *

**

Jun blinked twice when he saw the young man without his helmet. He looked at Tosa, "Did you read his lips? He said Chosen One!"

Tosa's expression hardened. "He's one of us."

"A Nekekami?" Jun blinked, feeling impending dread or relief depending on the woman's answer.

"No, he's not Nekekami, but he's definitely part of a guild. And he's an Unusual . . ."

"What makes you say that?" Jun asked.

"The way he fought. He's either controlling the wind, which would make him a type D, Elemental Master, or worse."

"What do you mean worse?" Jun scoffed. He didn't really understand Unusual gibberish. He knew Han was a type C Neko-gankyu which had resulted in her late admission to the Nekekami, but beyond that everything else was just gibberish.

"Unusuals are categorized into danger ratings that usually rate from A to E, with the S ratting reserved for our Chosen One down there, and a few other special cases. If that wasn't wind, if that was what I thought it was . . . he's an A rank, highly dangerous."

"I don't care what you think you saw, is a type A dangerous to the chosen one?" Jun demanded.

"No, of course not." Tosa said with a smile. Jun smiled back in relief, but heard Tosa cough under her breath, "But he could take _you_."

Jun scoffed, and decided to ignore that bit of nonsense as the third assassin arrived.

Now, with three Nekekami assassins standing ready, and the entire guild supporting them there was nothing that could stand between them and the awakening of the Chosen One.

**

* * *

**

While the martial arts inclined fought bravely on the field of honor, Nabiki was waging a little war of her own.

She grabbed Kasumi's arm and spun her older sister around, "What's up with you?" She demanded.

"What do you mean?" Kasumi asked.

"What happened to 'younger men bore me' hmm?" Nabiki demanded.

"What are you talking about?" Kasumi asked, this time she looked confused.

"You're flirting with _my_ fiancé, he's a younger man."

Kasumi frowned, "Oh? But I'm not flirting with him at all."

Nabiki scoffed. "Yeah right. Look sis, if you want him just say so, and we can work something out for the right price."

Kasumi looked offended, Nabiki, feeling she'd crossed a line with her joke half expected Kasumi to slap her in a rare but not nonexistent "angry Kasumi" moment.

But it didn't come. Kasumi just shook her head. "Poor Ryoga."

"What do you mean 'poor Ryoga?" Nabiki demanded.

Kasumi looked sad, "I wont lie to you Nabiki. I love Ryoga."

Nabiki could have screamed a few choice words at Kasumi, but wisely she kept silent long enough to hear the rest of Kasumi's speech.

"I love him like a younger brother. He's a part of this family now, whether or not he realizes it, just like Ranma and Mr. Saotome. I'm worried about him, sure he fights with Ranma, but if he's not with you he's almost always alone. I've been extra nice to him lately to try and show him that we care about him because I don't think he knows that we do."

Nabiki folded her arms and leaned against a counter. "Okay, so maybe that explains offering to walk him to school. Sure, that's a big sisterly act. So why are you holding his hand? Why are you massaging his shoulder? Why do you keep staring at him? It's written all over your face Kasumi, any school girl can tell what it is you want."

"I don't see a problem with holding his hand, Nabiki. It is not as if I am . . . oh, say, _kissing_ him. Yes I let him sleep in my bed, but not with me. Can you make that same claim? And can Tatewaki Kuno make such a claim about you?"

Nabiki shook her head. Kasumi had had her at the kissing remark, to throw in Kuno's name, to lay bare the fact that she knew only made Nabiki feel even worse.

"Poor Ryoga." Kasumi said softly. "The woman he loves doesn't love him back, or at least doesn't act like it."

"I love him!"

"You can't love two men at once Nabiki. That's not what love is." Kasumi said.

"Well I don't love Kuno." Nabiki scoffed.

"It looked different to me. The way you kissed him, it was as if you couldn't stop."

"I'm that way with Ryoga!" Nabiki protested.

"Sometimes." Kasumi granted. "Every now and again, if you think no one's watching you're quite nice to him, even loving. Whenever anyone else is around however you're dominant, possessive, you treat him like a trophy, not like a lover."

Nabiki shrugged, "That's . . . I do love him."

"I know." Kasumi said. "So do I. Just not the same way you do Nabiki. So don't worry."

"What if he misunderstands you?" Nabiki demanded.

"I'll try to view myself from the outside when I'm with him. Try to remember how easily misled he is." Kasumi said.

"Promise?" Nabiki asked.

"I wouldn't lie." Kasumi said.

Nabiki frowned. "All right . . . if you really aren't going to steal Ryoga . . . I guess I've got no quarrel with you."

"Good." Kasumi said with a smile, "I do so hate to fight."

But Nabiki wasn't so sure. Something about Kasumi didn't seem normal.

Nabiki had heard that Dr. Tofu had two nurses now, was Kasumi jealous?

"Kasumi . . . Ryoga . . . he's not a . . ." She took a deep breath. "I'd never use my feelings for him to get back at anybody. I'd never pretend that I loved him just to be able to make other people jealous."

"Of course you would, you show him off all the time, you taunt Akane because you're having sex and she isn't." Kasumi said with a wry smile.

"But . . . I mean . . . I really love him. I wouldn't be having sex if I didn't. I might lead him on, like I'm doin' with Kuno, but only if I had a good reason, and there was something in it for me. Even still I'd try to keep his feelings in mind. Ranma's a little more resilient, but Ryoga's like glass: easily shattered."

"I know." Kasumi said. "That's why I think you need to stop being with Kuno."

Nabiki sighed. "Well . . . maybe I can get Kuno baby to talk the college into letting me bring P-Chan along?"

"No." Kasumi said firmly, "No, he needs to remain here."

"What do you mean?" Nabiki asked, "You were just saying—"

"Nabiki, if the Nekekami want Ryoga they will use you to get him just like before. You could get hurt. Ryoga on the other hand is vulnerable, he'll get lost sooner or later and we'll have no way of finding him, helping him." Kasumi looked down, "He must remain here with us, there's no safer place right now than this house. I've spoken with father's old master, and Happosai has agreed to remain here to "train" both Ranma and Ryoga . . . mostly Ranma mind you, but he will keep an eye on Ryoga."

"How much did that cost you?" Nabiki blinked.

"All of them. Including the ones I was wearing at the time." Kasumi said with a frown.

"Cold?" Nabiki snickered.

"That's besides the point, Nabiki . . . and yes. But the funny thing is I think he'd have agreed to it for free if I hadn't mentioned that we'd be willing to pay him for his services . . . but I meant in yen . . ."

Nabiki shook her head. "All right. I'll tell Ryoga he needs to stay here and help you guys out. But if he does, and I find out you slept with him . . . I am going to kill you, you know that right? Well okay, maybe not kill, but I'll make you really miserable."

"I know." Kasumi nodded.

Nabiki waved her hand in front ofher sister's face, "You do not want to sleep with my boyfriend."

Kasumi sighed and said, "You know that annoys me. I'm not weak minded, why do you keep thinking that'll work on me?"

Nabiki shrugged. She and her sister laughed weakly for a while, then Nabiki leaned back against the wall and said "Kasumi . . . I want you to promise you wont have sex with my fiancé."

Kasumi looked taken aback, "Of course!" She said. "I would never!"

"Good." Nabiki nodded. 'Because I know,' she thought 'that all that stuff you told me about loving him like a little brother . . . was a load of crap. Don't lie to a professional liar.'

**

* * *

**

Fuming.

That's the word to describe Yoshimi as she entered her home that evening. She had traversed a long distance to return home, and she had heard her father's helicopter lifting off shortly after she'd set foot inside the mansion.

Well that was a shame. She'd have liked to visit with him for a while, enjoy his company and catch up with her more or less estranged parent.

But that wasn't what she'd come home for.

No, not at all. She raised her hand and shouted, "Ninja!"

Like a flash scores of pink ninja appeared from various hiding places in the livingroom, more poured into the room from other rooms, they struggled and fought to be the first to bow in front of her.

Then the first to bow in front of her was trampled by the second, who was determined to bow_ closest_ to her.

Then the second was trampled by the third who wanted to bow closer too, but didn't want to invade Yoshimi's personal space, and therefore stood on the shoulders of the second.

Yoshimi shook her head, "Enough! I need you for a special mission, my ninja! I must have a group of you pose as police men, three of you to pose as health inspectors, one of you to pose as a food critic, and one of you willing to die for me."

Not surprisingly there were many volunteers for each position, except the last. 'And they call themselves ninja' Yoshimi thought.

"Very well then, dying for the cause is a little extreme, who here will become very sick for me?" Yoshimi compromised, there were some half hearted volunteers now, and that was good enough.

She selected her strike team and sent the others away. She said to her ninja, "Here is your target!" She cried, showing a picture of Ukyo, "This is her location," She showed a picture of Ucchan's restaurant, "Here is your mission, you will go in there and you three will perform an inspection, you will critic the food, you will pretend that it makes you sick, you fall then pretend to be dying while you—" she pointed back to the critic "begin to follow suit and act as if you too are dying. You three will then call the police and have Ukyo arrested, I have connections in the women's prison that will give Ukyo a nice, comfortable cell where she will be able to enjoy the rest of her life in peace, and far away from _my_ Ryoga."

The ninja all seemed to understand so Yoshimi pointed to the door, "Go now my pink masked minions, go and let the cause of true love be served!"

The masked minions went and Yoshimi laughed maniacally to herself. Then decided she was hungry. She raised a hand again, "Ninja!" She screamed.

Again the massive assembly, the attempt to bow first and closest. "Who here knows how to make a seven course meal that offers less than one gram of fat and absolutely no calories?"

Two ninja raised their hands.

"Who can make it taste good?" Yoshimi demanded.

Nobody raised their hands.

Yoshimi sighed. "Fine. Make me a double bacon cheese burger, smothered in mayonnaise, mustard and ketchup, two slices of cheese on each layer!"

Five ninja complied and did exactly that, Yoshimi drew her gun and shot each burger out of their hands. "Fools!" She cried, "That was a test and you've failed! Not only do you bring me fattening American food, you forget the milk shake and fried potatoes! Now bring me some lasagna, a twelve by twelve centimeter cube if you please!"

The ninja complied and Yoshimi shot the plates out of their hands, giggling madly to herself. "Teehee, how dare you bring me fattening Italian food, disgusting! Okay, okay, bring me some sweet and sour chicken over fried rice. No, no, I'm serious this time."

The ninja complied again and delivered eight bowls, Yoshimi of course shot them all and luahged wildly, "So gullible, haha so gullible! Hehehe I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Seriously this time, seriously! Bring me a tuna fish sandwich!"

A little reluctantly the ninja complied and Yoshimi had ten tuna sandwiches presented to her.

She filled them full of led and laughed like a maniac, "Oh you're too much! You're so gullible, I love it! Oh-hohohohohoho! Teeheeheehee! I cant! I cant! My side hurts, oh that's rich! Oh! Oh! Oh! Teehee!" She held her side and fell to her knees in laughter, then waved her hand, "Okay! Okay! Seriously this time!"

**

* * *

**

Ryoga was laying back in Kasumi's incredibly comfortable bed, resting as Kasumi had ordered.

There was a knock on the door, and without waiting for an answer Nabiki opened it and came inside. "Ryoga," She said softly, "I need to talk to you."

"Okay . . ." Ryoga said.

Nabiki came over to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Ryoga, I want to start by apologizing to you. Also I'm going to have to handcuff you to the bed."

"Uh, hey I'm not into—"

"Shut up, I know that. You think I don't know that by now? Anyway this is just a safety precaution."

"Whose safety?" Ryoga asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Never you mind. Now Ryoga . . ." Nabiki said, she hesitated and she sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find you when we were at . . . that terrible park."

"Y-yeah well . . ." Ryoga trailed off, not really sure what to say.

Nabiki however said "Ryoga, there are a few things I need to tell you, and I want you to listen to everything."

"Okay." Ryoga nodded.

Nabiki took a deep breath. "First, you need to stay with Kasumi. Don't you dare leave her side, but try not to be alone with her either. If you do leave her side, make sure you keep Ranma, or Ukyo, or one of the other local Martial Artists with you, but not Akane. Put up with Happosai because we don't want him to leave the house for too long."

Ryoga shrugged, "Why?"

"Don't interrupt. Kasumi is going to tell the Koruda School that father is moving to Hawaii so they'll have to challenge him there, so there'll be no real fighting while Kasumi is in charge of this place."

Ryoga nodded slowly. "Why?" He repeated.

"Because . . ." Nabiki trailed off. "Listen, I just . . . I want to make sure you'll be safe while I'm gone. There are people out there looking for you, I don't want them to get you."

Ryoga nodded. _She means my followers of course. My servants, I'm the chosen one of the Nekekami. That _is_ what you mean, isn't it? I can tell._ Ryoga thought darkly.

Nabiki looked at the ground. "Now . . . what I'm going to tell you is going to make you angry, but I want you to swear to me on your oath that you'll still obey my first set of instructions anyway."

"Got it." Ryoga nodded.

Nabiki took a deep breath. "Ryoga . . . I've been seeing other guys."

Ryoga's eyes narrowed. The admission!

"It started out of shear boredom, a con to keep myself on top of my game you know? And so I went out with this one guy, then the other took pictures and he wanted to blackmail me—"

"What kind of pictures? What were you doing in these pictures?" Ryoga demanded suddenly.

"That's none of your—oh right. Sorry. Well I was kissing this other guy . . . and it was a total and complete accident, he jut kissed me and I couldn't stop it. But that's all that happened, just the kiss, okay?"

Ryoga scoffed.

Nabiki frowned at him, "I'm still in love with you. But I'm starting to get confused, and I wont deny that I've had doubts about us."

Ryoga nodded.

"So . . . when you got lost the other day . . . I . . . I didn't bother to look for you because I was with the other guy." Nabiki looked away. "You hate me, I know. I'm sorry . . ."

Ryoga broke the handcuffs, Nabiki squeaked as he reached out for her neck!

Just kidding. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, "I love you!"

"This . . . is not quite the reaction I was expecting." Nabiki informed him.

"I know! I know already, I saw you at the theme park, when you kissed Kuno, that's why I was so upset that I let Ukyo kiss me, I saw you two together!"

"Wait, you did what?" Nabiki demanded.

"I never thought you'd care enough to tell me, but now I know you do!" Ryoga said.

"Oh now wait a minute!" Nabiki snapped, "Wait just a minute, you saw another guy kissing me and you didn't _do_ anything?"

Ryoga frowned as she shoved him away, "What was I supposed to do?"

"Be a man and punch him in the face for starters." Nabiki said. She folded her arms, "What am I worth to you if you're not willing to fight for me? You pig! I can't believe you saw me and didn't say anything!"

Ryoga was bewildered! Here she'd confessed to infidelity and he was suddenly the one being scolded? "Well you seemed so happy in his arms kissing him, I just sort of figured . . ."

"Figured what? That your mother was right about me and I'm some two bit tramp?" Nabiki demanded.

_Yeah. Pretty much._ Ryoga thought. "Uh, no, no way! I just thought . . . wait . . . uh . . . I wasn't thinking. That's it. I was filled with a blinding rage! But even so I did not want to risk harming you, or the man you valued above myself. I felt that if you had made your decision, I would honor it."

"So you gave me up then? But here you are leading me on like I'm still your girlfriend! What were you trying to get a few more good lays out of me before you broke the news?"

Wait, what? Ryoga distinctly remembered turning her down the previous night. "Uh, Nabiki I never—"

"I can't believe it! What if he'd been forcing himself on me?" Nabiki demanded. "What if I were being raped you jerk?"

"Well it'd be different then," Ryoga said, getting a little annoyed that no matter what everything was always his fault, "For starters you'd put up some kind of fight, I'm sure, and also you wouldn't be so eager to kiss him back."

"You son of a—"

"I was gone for a moment, didn't you bother to look for me at all before you started locking lips with Kuno?" Ryoga demanded, "And how long was it happening? How long were you two together? How often have you two shared such intimate kisses?"

"That's none of your business!" Nabiki said.

"Oh of course not. After all, I'm just your fiancé."

"Not if you think I'm worthless." Nabiki said warningly.

"I don't think you're worthless!" Ryoga protested.

"You don't think I'm worth fighting for." Nabiki said.

"No, I just wanted you to be happy so I let the slime live!" Ryoga said, standing up and clenching a fist, "Every fiber of my being wanted to rush over there and pound his face in so he'd never kiss anyone ever again, I stopped myself because I thought if you were going to choose him I'd make his continued well being my final gift to you!"

Nabiki shook her head, "I can't believe this."

"What?" Ryoga demanded.

"You're telling me that after I cheat on you my happiness is still your top priority? Sounds like an excuse to me. You saw me with Kuno, and instead of fighting for me like a real man would have, hell like even a half man like _Ranma_ would have, you go off and kiss Ukyo! And is that all you did with her?" Nabiki added, an accusing light in her eyes.

Ryoga scoffed, "Forget Ukyo, and forget Kuno, this is really about us! You're seeing other guys, I'm getting kissed by other girls, it's got to stop!"

"Why?" Nabiki scoffed, "Why don't you just break up with me, then we can both do whatever we want with whomever we want!"

Ryoga blinked, "What?"

"You heard me." Nabiki said calmly, though her hands were shaking, "We're finished. You go knock up Ukyo, or Kasumi or whoever you like. I don't care. I'll go be with Kuno and anyone who catches my eye and the college, how's that suit you? Why don't we just break up?"

Ryoga slumped. "Because I . . . I'm still in love with you."

"Well that's a lie. I know I still love you, but if you really cared about me you'd prove it." Nabiki got up and headed for the door. "To think I wanted to apologize for what I did. In the end you're ten times worse."

_How does she arrive at _that_ conclusion? Why is she always blameless? Why is it always my fault?_ Ryoga wondered.

"Nothing to say?" Nabiki scoffed. "Fine. Goodbye Ryoga Hibiki." Nabiki said calmly, untying the bandanna around her neck and leaving it with Ryoga, she left.

Ryoga sat there for a while feeling worthless, but at the same time at wild thought got into his head.

_She wants me to prove my love in combat . . . fight for her . . . fight Kuno . . ._ Ryoga's lips became a twisted smile,_ Fight for my beloved Nabiki? Why . . . I'd _kill_ for her._

Was it the voice in his head thinking that or was it him? He wasn't sure. Maybe it was a bit of both. He smiled darkly and reached for a piece of paper and a pen. He began to write a letter of challenge, the last Tatewaki Kuno would ever receive.

Then Nabiki would understand how he felt.

_Once I show her, once I show everyone my power . . . everything will be all right. It'll be just like waking up from a long, terrible dream._ Ryoga thought darkly. _Once I kill Kuno . . . once I kill._

* * *

Ukyo leaned against the counter and observed the patrons, Konatsu was waiting on tables. It was a good way to get her mind off of Ryoga . . . and how she'd kissed him.

How jealous Ranma would be, and though that was her whole plan she felt like the jealousy Ranma would feel over said kiss would not be the sort that she wanted. In fact it might not be jealousy at all, it might be outright indifference.

What if Ranma honey didn't care that she'd kissed Ryoga? Could she live with the fact that that implied? That he truly did love Akane more than her? Sure they had a wedding date set, but still . . . Ukyo had _some_ hope.

She noticed that a lot of people seemed to be dressed oddly tonight. Three health inspectors were dressed for winter though it was just the end of summer, one man claiming to be a food critic was wearing a night gown, bad makeup, and a wig despite his thick beard, and one of her customers was wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants, and a cape.

Whatever the blazes was going on, it made Ukyo uncomfortable.

Suddenly the super hero customer gagged, fell to the ground and began to cough and sneeze.

The health inspectors rushed over to him, Konatsu looked confused and several of Ukyo's regulars began eyeing their okonomiyaki.

Suddenly the food critic keeled over, the health inspectors began to panic, "Call the police! Call the police!" They screamed.

They ran about in circles until two police officers burst into the room.

Now Ukyo recognized them as police officers, none the less one was clearly a Military Policeman, and the other dressed like a constable.

"Halt, that young woman is under arrest for food poisoning!" Constable cried, blowing a whistle and suddenly several more law enforcement officials burst in through the windows, one looked like he belonged on the S.W.A.T. team, another looked like an old western sheriff, there were police officer uniforms from various different departments and countries, and they all seemed to want Ukyo taken away.

But the young woman would have none of that! She nodded to Konatsu, who took up a fighting position, and she picked up her battle spatula, "All right you freaks, I don't know what you're doing, or who you think you're fooling, but you're not coming any closer to me unless you're going to make an order, so back off!"

"We're going to arrest you Ukyo . . . Ukyo . . . whatever your last name is!" The MP said.

"Is that right?" Ukyo scoffed, "Well come and get a piece of me, but I warn ya—" Ukyo began but suddenly a customer stood up.

"Now just who called the police?"

"What? Uh . . . well . . ." The S.W.A.T. guy said, smiling disarmingly.

"Yeah, and hey those two dead guys are just fine now, see? They're finishing off their meals!" One woman pointed out.

"It's a conspiracy! It's a silence by the government! They want to take away our right as a people to eat okonomiyaki!"

"We cant allow that!"

"N-now wait a moment," One of the phony-officers said, but the customers were up in arms.

"We wont have it!" They cried and charged the "police officers" and the health inspectors! Ukyo just leaned against her spatula and watched in amazement as her loyal patrons kicked, punched, bit and clawed those who would threaten their dinner plans.

Someone threw a chair and it was all over, with that minor provocation the crowd began to riot and a full blown melee broke out! Everyone began to fight, old and young, officer and patron, they battled one another and took it clear out into the streets!

Ukyo sighed. "Wanna close early?" She asked.

Konatsu just nodded.

They followed the battle into the streets, where real police officers were unsure as to whether they should arrest the false officers, or back them up.

Ukyo shook her head and rolled up her sleeves, "This ought'a be a good work out!" She said, cracking her knuckles.

It'd help her get her mind off of Ranma honey and that dopey Ryoga anyway.

So she lunged into the brawl, followed closely by Konatsu.

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Next Time:**_ Mercedes is back and enjoying the good life when it is discovered that he can act as Ryoga's directional "seeing eye dog" but what happens when Mercedes just takes Ryoga where he (the dog) wants to go instead of where he (the boy) needs to be? Ranma and Akane must work out some issues when Soun finds Akane's dirty drawings, and Kasumi might just be hiding the truth about what she feels for Ryoga, but is it possible that these feelings are brought on only because of her current feelings towards Dr. Tofu, or is this something genuine? Ryoga will challenge Tatewaki to a battle for Nabiki's hand, but will it turn out to be more than he expected?_

**A/N:** A Kasumi + Ryoga pairing has been just lying below the surface since Charlotte's Web 1, it is likely that if Nabiki had not taken on with Ryoga then Kasumi would have eventually. I wanted it to happen in that story, it didn't. But it _will_ happen in the sequel. There was some flirting in Charlotte's Web 1, much of it was removed or reworded in the revisions but it was more like actual flirting, batting eye lashes and what not. What Kasumi does in _this_ story is meant to be more akin to an actual advance or proposition however with so much of their flirtatious history removed I felt things should advance slowly and more subtly than originally projected, while keeping them obvious enough (to everyone but Ryoga) that Nabiki would notice and want to do something about it.

In this story Kasumi is to Ryoga what Kuno is to Nabiki, a new love interest who makes a lot more sense in some ways, but even less in others. This means that we have Ryoga who could end up with Nabiki, Kasumi, or maybe even Ukyo, and Nabiki who could end up with Ryoga, Kuno or Kinnosuke. Incidentally a Nabiki + Ranma possibility will be introduced though likely not pursued since back in the day I used to be a major RaNa fan.

There is no chance of anyone ending up with Yoshimi. Not even one of the pink ninja.


	19. I Challenge You!

**Charlotte's Sequel **

**Chapter Eighteen **

**I Challenge You **

The next morning Nabiki Tendo sat grumpily down at the breakfast table, she grunted thanks as Kasumi laid a plate before her.

"Is something wrong Nabiki?" Kasumi asked.

"Meh." Nabiki grunted.

Ryoga appeared then, "Good morning!" He said enthusiastically.

Enthusiastically?

"Good morning Ryoga." Kasumi nodded, "Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have in a few days!" Ryoga said with a grin, "I've just taken care or something important that's been bothering me for some time."

Nabiki's eyes narrowed. Oh, so she'd been bothering him for some time eh? Well forget him!

"So, do you two have any plans for today?" Kasumi asked.

"Oh I've got plans. Big plans." Ryoga said with a grin, "I'm just gonna need Ranma to help take me to—"

"Sorry but Ranma and I have a date." Nabiki blurted.

"What the heck?" Ranma asked, yawning and rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Okay, that hadn't been to well thought out. "What I mean is, Tatewaki-kun and I have a date, but Ranma is going along . . . with Akane, it's a double." That was better.

"Really? That's great Ranma, I never thought you'd do something so roman—wait, did you just say 'Tatewaki-kun' or am I imagining things?" Akane demanded.

"I did indeed. You see Ryoga and I are through. I'm seeing Kuno baby now." Nabiki said, smiling and watching Ryoga for some sign of jealousy.

There wasn't one, that slime!

Fine. He really did get over her, and in just one night no less! Well she'd just have to return the favor.

**

* * *

**

Ryoga smiled at Nabiki and said, "You have a good time then, tell 'Kuno baby' I told him to enjoy himself." Ryoga said with a wide smile. 'It'll be his last day on earth, I hope for his sake that he lives it to the fullest.'

_We'll never forgive him for stealing Nabiki. _

'No. _We_ won't.' Ryoga thought, knowing full well that he wasn't alone in his head.

But if it was a foreign influence, or just a part of himself he didn't know, didn't care. Both halves of the coin had the same intentions for now and so he'd work with his dark side, and kill Tatewaki "Woman Stealing" Kuno.

Then Nabiki would know he cared about her and she'd want him back more than anything!

And he'd graciously allow her to return to being his fiancée. He held the letter of challenge in his hand and smiled, "Today is a major day, and I can't be late. I need someone to take me where I need to go."

"I can do it." Kasumi said.

Well . . . no. Ryoga didn't want Kasumi to know where he was going to go, what he was going to do. That was why he'd wanted it to be Ranma, Ranma would take him there and not care beyond that. Wouldn't know that Ryoga wanted to kill, would just assume it was a silly challenge.

Maybe anyway. Ranma _was_ clever . . . from time to time.

"I can't ask you to do that, Kasumi." Ryoga said, "It'll take time out of your busy schedule. No, I'll see if Ukyo can take me."

Nabiki mumbled something that sounded like it started with the letter F and ended with K and said "I'll be upstairs getting ready for Kuno baby!"

"Uh . . . do you need help?" Kasumi ventured.

"No, I'm fine. I just can't decide if I should wear the thong or no underwear at all." She stormed upstairs.

Let her get angry, let her get jealous that Ukyo was taking him, let her know how it feels to hurt inside because the one you love is unfaithful.

The only difference was that Ryoga had been and would continue to be faithful to her, even if she wasn't his anymore.

"Since when did she start seeing Kuno?" Akane asked.

"It's just part of a trick." Ranma said. "I mean c'mon, if she were really with Kuno she wouldn't have said so in front of Ryoga, and he'd be fuming mad!"

"She said they broke up!" Akane said, as if Ryoga weren't sitting right across from her.

"A lie, she wouldn't just dump him like that, not for a block head like Kuno anyway, right man?" Ranma asked Ryoga.

Ryoga just shrugged "It's true. We're broken up, she can do whoever she wants."

"You mean 'whatever' she wants, right?" Akane asked.

"I meant exactly what I said." Ryoga shrugged. "It doesn't bother me. But I do need to get to where I'm going by about noon . . ."

That's when Mercedes showed up. "Hey!" Ranma said, "I bet the dog can take you, he's smart!"

"Oh yes!" Kasumi said, "Let's see . . . Mercedes, take Ryoga to the back yard!"

The dog bit down on Ryoga's bandanna and dragged him to the back yard.

"He's brilliant!" Akane cried, "That's great! Give him some food!"

He ate Ryoga's food.

Well . . . Ryoga hated to murder on an empty stomach, but hey, maybe it'd make him lighter and faster if he wasn't weighed down by about ten pounds of Kasumi's most excellent cooking.

"Okay dog," He said, putting a leash on Mercedes, "Take me to the front door."

Mercedes finished eating, _then_ took Ryoga right to the front door!

Excellent! Perfect! Wonderful!

"This is the start of a beautiful friendship!" Ryoga said, "Now Ranma, if you'd be so kind as to give this to 'Kuno baby' when you see him."

"Ryoga . . . cant you do that yourself now?" Ranma asked.

"You know what?" Ryoga said with a grin, patting Mercedes on the head, "I _can_."

**

* * *

**

The young man was lying on the dojo floor feeling miserable. He'd failed! He'd failed and worse he'd made himself known to Ryoga! What a disaster!

He'd never find Jun now! He was no match for Ryoga! He wasn't sure he wanted to be either!

"Aww now don't look so down clown!" One of the girls, Anzu said, who was suddenly hanging upside down from the ceiling above him. "They school us like that all the time, it's no biggie."

He scoffed.

Anzu was pretty talented though to stand on the ceiling like that, she wasn't wearing any special shoes or anything, she'd just found a nook and held on, impressive.

Tomoko came over and said "Yeah, cheer up." She looked at Anzu and grinned, "Any _particular _reason you're hanging upside down, Anzu?"

"It's good training!" Anzu cried defensively.

"It shows off your breasts." Tomoko scoffed, and the youth realized that it did.

"T-Tomoko!" Anzu cried.

"Anyway like I say, cheer up. Hey! I know what'd cheer you up! You could take me out to dinner! That always cheers everyone up!" Tomoko said, batting her eyelashes and grabbing his right arm.

Anzu came down so fast she defied regular gravity, she grabbed his left arm, "Uh, no he'd rather go to the movie with me, a comedy that's what he needs to cheer up!"

"Uh, actually I'd rather not do either—" The young man tried to tell them.

The two Koruda instructors weren't listening.

"You have a five date rule, Anzu, I've got a three date rule, like a normal person. Logic dictates he go with the more efficient of us."

"Yeah well you don't usually last to the fifth date is what it is, at least I've got principals!"

The young man sighed and shook his head. He freed himself from their grasps and took a few steps back. Maybe watching them argue would cheer him up.

Ushio however showed up and shook his head, "Not again. They did this when that blind kid showed up too, I think they've got a thing for guys with long hair. Tell the truth I think you look like a bit of a sissy."

The young man's eyes narrowed. "Whatever."

"No offense meant boy, no offense meant. So tell me . . . we never did get your name."

"Never did offer it." The young man scoffed. "I don't have a name. Not one I can give you anyway, I left my name behind two years ago."

"Yeah . . . I'm gonna call you Bobby, is that okay?"

"What? No!"

"Right. So anyway Bobby I've been thinking and I cant have my daughter and my top instructor distracted like this. You've got to leave."

"You think I _like_ being here? I have to find Jun!" The nameless youth said.

"Now, now, Bobby, no need to get upset. It just so happens that I've decided to fulfill my end of the bargain even though you didn't come through on yours. I'm going to contact Jun and tell him that you want to meet him."

Bobby—er I mean the nameless guy gapped at Ushio, "R-really? You'll do that? You're not going to refer to me as 'Bobby' when you speak to him right?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Ushio shrugged. "You said you don't have a name, and Bobby is a good one."

"I have a name, I just don't use it!" The kid protested.

"Yeah. Well now you can say it loud, 'I'm Bobby and I'm proud!"

"Yeah . . . that's going to _really_ not happen."

**

* * *

**

Ranma yawned lazily as he watched TV, some new soap, he didn't like it . . . it just wasn't Weeks of Our Lives . . .

He sighed wistfully, missing that old program.

Suddenly a giant head was floating around behind him, "Ek!" He cried as Akane's father floated into the room, "S-Son, perhaps you want to explain THIS?" He demanded, throwing a large stack of paper at Ranma.

Oh crap.

"I go to the dojo to train and I find this! And on the last day before I leave for Hawaii too, now I'm not so sure I can go if you're going to be making suck awful plans for my daughter! Page 93 would require you both to be women, how do you do things like this, son?"

Ranma gapped. "Uh . . . it's all her fault!"

"Ranma . . . if I were you . . . I would run." Soun warned.

**

* * *

**

Jun frowned at his lifelong friend—or as close as he came to friends anyway—Ushio as he explained the situation to the master assassin.

"The kids really interested in finding you. He's about the right age, I think he may be your long lost son or something. At least that's what I suspect, that'd be cool."

Jun scoffed. "Ushio I don't have a son because I've never left any woman alive that long, when I'm done, so are they. Besides it's been years since I gave in to those urges, I can't possibly have a son!"

"He's definitely a skilled fighter, he took out Anzu and Tomoko in just seconds, and he keeps talking about finding you."

Jun leaned against the wall. Tosa and Fenrir were listening in, he knew. He knew that he'd have them to back him up too, Tosa had encouraged him to contact Ushio—saving the martial arts instructor from having to find him himself—and learn the identity of the boy whom Jun now understood to be known as Bobby.

An unusual name for an assassin.

"I will meet the boy . . . on a condition."

"What's that?" Ushio asked.

"He comes alone to this place."

"What place is that?" Ushio wondered, sounding almost guilty about something.

"This place. This place I'm at right now, this place where we are standing and speaking."

"Oh good! 'Cause he's waiting just outside!" Ushio smiled happily.

"He's what?" Jun gawked, he needed time to prepare a trap, if the enemy was right outside then—

Jun's nerves settled instantly, what did it matter? He had one of the guild's three top assassins with him, he was yet another of those three, and Fenrir was an agent of no small skill.

Not even Ryoga could defeat them all, and this fool could not defeat Ryoga.

"All right. Send him in, and then get out of here . . . you don't want to be here when what's going to happen happens."

Ushio frowned, "Really? He's kind of a nice guy, Anzu and Tomoko like him, if y'know what I mean."

"I couldn't care less who they like. Now get out of here." Jun said, nodding to his friend.

Ushio frowned and left.

Jun waited patiently for Bobby.

The youth from the battle before entered, just as Tosa had guessed he was indeed the same boy that was seeking Jun through Ushio. He bowed low and came up with a dark look in his eyes.

"Master Jun. I've spent a great deal of time looking for you."

"You have me at a disadvantage, you know my name yet I don't know yours. And I do so want to learn . . . tell me who you are, who you really are. You're obviously a member of a guild."

The youth scoffed. "Obviously? Well surprising isn't it? You're wrong. I was once a member of a guild, now I'm on my own. But I didn't come to give you my life story."

"Oh? But you might as well, who else will bother to remember it once I kill you?"

The young man smiled, then he laughed. "You kill me? Me? Oh boy, you're confused. If you don't tell me what I want to know you're going to be in a world of pain."

"Really? Show me."

"Fine. But first . . . our audience!" The young man shouted, he raised his hand and made a motion as if he were pulling the ceiling down.

And it came down.

Fenrir along with it.

_Blast! Well at least he didn't make Tosa!_ Jun thought.

The young man's eyes blazed red, as if he read Jun's mind he said "The woman left."

Jun blinked, "Really? Well she'll miss out on all the fun. Shall we?"

The boy's hand flew forward and Jun flew backwards!

Only he didn't fall, he was pulled, like a magnet or something! He hit the ground—er the wall hard, but lay there as if it were the ground.

Fenrir emerged from the debris of the ceiling laughing.

He was a tall man with a crooked nose, scars on his face and elongated canines, his hair was unkempt and his nails were perhaps a bit too long.

"Heh-heh-heh. I'd know that preaching voice anywhere, even if you didn't pluck me out of the sky . . ."

"F-Fenrir!" The boy gasped, taking a step back, Jun fell to the real ground and drew his guns.

This kid was going to _die_, Jun didn't care about pumping him for information!

There was a growling sound, the boy turned around and saw two large, mangy dogs growling at him, teeth barred.

Fenrir, the Beast Master laughed bitterly. "It's been a long time . . . little brother. You remember our old pets don't you? C'mon boys, show little brother how much you've missed him. 'Kiss' his throat right out!"

**

* * *

**

Ryoga gave Mercedes a pat on the head, the large dog smiled happily in the way that dogs smile. "All right," Ryoga said, "I need you to take me to the place of challenge, the park. Can you do that?"

The dog barked.

"Great! Let's go then boy!" Ryoga said.

And Mercedes went.

He went with a speed that surprised Ryoga! Ryoga held tight to Mercedes' leash to keep from losing the dog as he sped along!

"This is great!" Ryoga said more to himself than to Mercedes, "I-I cant believe it! I'm really going to get there on time! I'll be there any minute at this pace I'll . . . what the heck?"

He looked up at the big sign that read: Super Ultra Pet Store.

"Oh . . . crap." Ryoga sighed.

The dog barked, and Ryoga nodded. He had a dog of his own back home, he knew how to satisfy them. "Okay, one chew toy then we go to the park, deal?"

He went inside and spent about twenty minutes trying to find Mercedes a toy he liked, the store clerk lazily pointed out that no pets were allowed, but he'd make an exception for Ryoga and the massive dog if Mercedes would kindly abstain from ripping his head off.

It was a deal, Ryoga and Mercedes even got the toy for free since the store clerk was so happy to see them go. So Ryoga and Mercedes headed off for the park, the massive dog happily squeaking his toy (which resembled a little black pig with a bandanna) as they walked.

"Okay, now that you're happy help me get to the park." Ryoga said.

Mercedes bolted, Ryoga almost lost hold of the leash!

The dog dropped his toy, stopped, went back, got it and bolted again so quickly that Ryoga was certain he'd gotten whiplash!

But finally they arrived at a nice sunny area, a large green field and . . . okay, this wasn't the park!

There were benches all around, but not park benches. They looked kind of like bleachers and . . .

There was a gun shot, Ryoga looked around expecting to see that meddlesome Jun, but instead he saw a pack of dogs rushing at him!

"Ladies and gentlemen, it seems an incredibly lost young man and his dog have wandered onto the track!"

Ryoga blinked as the dogs ran past, leaving a dust storm.

The dog track? How'd he let Mercedes lead him to the dog track without noticing?

Mercedes waited two seconds after the other dogs passed them, then broke out in a run!

Ryoga, worked hard to keep up with him, failed, tripped and was dragged along as the oversized German shepherd ran the track, passed every other dog, and won!

"Amazing, simply amazing! And with his owner weighing him down yet, I cant believe it!" The announcer cried, "This unnamed dog has won the race!"

"Sir! Sir, to what do your attribute your dog's victory?" A reporter cried.

"Does it bother you that he is not a hound?" Another demanded.

"Isn't that the same dog that competed in When Pets Do Dumb Crap last year?" A third demanded.

"How did you manage to raise such a massive creature?" A fourth demanded.

Ryoga tried feebly to answer, but Mercedes led him off again!

"Listen, listen to me Mercedes," Ryoga said, "I know you cant like that name! _She_ gave you that name! Take me to Tatewaki Kuno and I'll give you a new name, I promise!" Ryoga said.

The dog veered suddenly to the right, Ryoga finally lost his grip on the leash and flew into a telephone pole, cracking it in half.

Groaning and holding his aching head Ryoga was hardly surprised when Mercedes came back, grabbed his bandanna with his teeth, and dragged Ryoga along.

'There is nothing more that you can do to me!' Ryoga thought.

_Oh let's take the dog, the dog knows where we're going! Man am I an idiot! _Ryoga's other voice thought bitterly.

'Oh shut up!' Ryoga thought to himself.

Mercedes had brought him now to a pet show.

"Great. Fine, we'll compete and then—" Ryoga was saying until he noticed Kodachi Kuno standing by with her giant crocodile, or alligator or whatever the heck it was.

"Brother dear, Mr. Turtle just wants to compete fair and square! Why must you be so difficult?"

"Because I had to pay the owners of all the pets he _ate_ last time!" Tatewaki said.

Ryoga's face lit up. He hugged Mercedes, "You're the best!" He cried.

The dog barked once, and Ryoga got to his feet. He dusted himself off, wanting to look his best before he killed the man who'd dared to lay a finger on his woman.

Yes, _his_ woman. Why should he be _her_ Ryoga if she wasn't going to be _his_ Nabiki?

He skipped—literally skipped—over to the older boy and said, "Hello! I've been looking for you everywhere!"

Tatewaki raised an eyebrow, "You have?"

"Hey, I got a question for you!" Ryoga said with a sly grin.

"And what is that?" Tatewaki sighed.

"With all your money . . . cant you afford a pair of shoes? I mean what if you walk on broken glass?" Ryoga jeered.

"Master Kuno hardly ever walks, he travels by rickshaw!" Kuno's little ninja butler said.

Ryoga ignored the little bucktoothed man, he'd stay out of this unless he wanted to die.

"Kuno baby—it's okay if I call you that right? Don't bother answering, I don't care." Ryoga handed him the slightly damaged and abused letter of challenge. "I want you to have this."

Tatewaki looked at it distastefully, "What is it?"

"Open it." Ryoga said darkly.

Tatewaki opened it and read it. He looked at Ryoga through narrow eyes. "I will not turn down a challenge. But I wonder what quarrel have you with me?"

Ryoga scoffed. "What quarrel? Nabiki Tendo ring any bells? I saw you kissing her at that amusement park you _bastard_. She's my fiancée, and you know it!"

Tatewaki smirked, "If you were a better fiancé, perhaps she'd not have accepted my kiss."

"Brother dear," Kodachi said, "Just kill this peasant so we can get on with the pet show!"

Ryoga smiled, "Try it, Kuno baby. See what I do to you."

Tatewaki glared at Ryoga as his ninja butler handed him a wooden sword. The sword master took up a fighting stance and said, "Then for the hand of Nabiki Tendo, as your letter demands, I will face you."

"Any last words?" Ryoga asked, "I have to ask you now, because once I start I might not be able to stop myself . . . you know how it is."

Tatewaki smirked again, "Just three. You left me an opening!" He cried, lunging forward!

Kuno's attack missed Ryoga's forehead, but the wind of the cut sliced some of Ryoga's strands of hair.

Ryoga's hand shot out, slamming into the flat of the sword's wooden blade and snapping it in half, "That's five words you_ idiot_!"

Tatewaki struck again with yet another sword provided by his ninja butler, Ryoga dodged.

Tatewaki was more skilled than Ryoga had guessed, but the younger boy was certain he could win.

Then Nabiki would love him again!

_Once the other boy is dead!_ He thought.

**

* * *

**

Ranma groaned as Akane pointed a finger at him, "Whatever the problem is it's all his fault dad!"

"Ranma!" Soun shouted, waving the papers in his face, "Why did you do this?"

"Look, I aint gonna argue with you 'cause I know it's no good. All I'm gonna say is that I didn't do it, and even if I did Akane and I are getting married pretty soon so it's not like I'm defiling her or anything."

Soun didn't see it that way. "Actually that's exactly what it is! You dare to touch my daughter and I'll cut it off! You know what I'm talking about! You'll be a girl all the time!"

Ranma gulped, "I've never touched Akane!" He cried.

"It's true dad, he hasn't, that's why I drew those pictures!"

"So it _was _you Akane?" Soun seemed confused now.

"Yes! I didn't know those were what you meant, they're not Ranma's! I just gave them to him because I thought he wasn't showing enough physical interest in me, and the idiot thought they were a list of martial arts moves!"

"Actually I knew exactly what they were." Ranma said.

Soun groaned, "My daughter! My pure daughter!"

"Yes father?" Kasumi asked.

"Not you!" Soun said, "Go and . . . clean something, I don't want you hearing this conversation!"

"But father, you're holding it in front of the TV, everyone's hearing it." Kasumi said.

On the couch Nabiki waved, Genma and Nodoka nodded.

Soun sighed. "Okay . . . well if everyone could get out of the room while I discipline my daughter and . . . oh forget it, you all know what's happening here anyway!" He glared at Akane and Ranma. "I guess we'll have an audience for the sentencing!"

**

* * *

**

Jun leapt back as the wave washed over him. By twisting in mid air he could hit the "ground" on his feet whether it was a wall, the ceiling or the ground itself.

It was obvious this guy was controlling gravity, or at least doing a really good job of making it seem like he was, Jun chose to believe this was a very powerful illusion technique.

Fenrir seemed wiling to take every blow, not bothering to dodge at all, hitting the "ground" hard but never seeming injured, this led Jun to believe that it was indeed illusion, and that Fenrir had a little resistance to it.

He'd called Bobby his little brother, maybe he'd grown immune to his younger sibling's skills.

Bobby ducked low as one of the dogs leapt over his head, Jun aimed his gun, Bobby's hand shot out towards Jun and the assassin's hand dipped lower as he pulled the trigger, the bullet slammed into the ground in front of the youth.

Jun scowled, he fought to raise both his hands, a gun in each and fire on the enemy!

Bobby came to his feet and leapt up, the second dog leapt for him now, but he whipped his hand to the side and the dog slammed into the wall with such force that the wall was broken!

It was a blow that should have killed any normal dog, might have killed most men. But beyond all reason the dog got back up and barred its fangs!

Jun noted that the wall had been the one Tosa was hiding behind . . . so she really was gone.

"Fenrir, I want him dead, hold nothing back!"

"Whatever." Fenrir grinned, pulling a pair of gloves onto his hands.

It was as if he'd put two claws on, the gloves ended in deadly talons, talons that were stained red with blood. "It' been nice seeing you little brother, but this family reunion ends now . . ."

Fenrir rushed forward and swiped with his claws, Bobby leapt to the side, waved his hand and both dogs flew towards Jun, ruining the master assassin's next shots!

Jun scowled, "You're going to die tonight boy!"

Bobby grinned and shoved his hand towards Jun, the assassin flew backwards and into the wall again!

This time the wall broke and Jun lay on the true ground looking up at the sky as his entire body made it known to his brain in its own way that it was in pain.

Jun felt a sharp pain in his stomach as Bobby ran out of the hole in the wall, stepping on the master assassin in the process.

Then the two dogs ran over Jun.

Then Fenrir wisely decided to walk around him and help him up.

"We have to get that brother of yours!" Jun hissed.

"Don't worry. My boys wont let him get away." Fenrir grinned, "They know his scent too well to lose it!"

**

* * *

**

Soun sighed wearily and said, "Ranma . . . you're blameless here . . . or so it seems. But it is because you live here that this has happened, Akane has grown too used to your presence."

"You're kicking me out?" Ranma gawked.

"No." Soun said, looking surprised, "I'd never do that son! No, but I am separating you and Akane."

"You're kidding!" Ranma said, "How?"

"I'll be taking her with me to Hawaii." Soun said simply. "It'll be hard for her, finishing off her schooling in a whole new country, but it cant be helped, you two should not be living in the same home while we are away, it is clear we cannot trust you."

"I agree." Genma said.

Ranma shook his head, "Don't force Akane to go away just because she's a little messed up!"

"Ranma!" Akane gasped, offended and flattered at the same time. "You're defending me by insulting me?"

"Of course!" Ranma said. "Anyway I wont do anything with Akane, and Kasumi will help keep her from doing anything with me, there's no need to put her through all this trouble!"

Soun shook his head, "It still leaves the problem of you living with her with no real adult supervision—no offense Kasumi."

Nodokoa raised her hand. "If I might make a suggestion . . . no one will be using the Saotome home . . . it's a little further away from the high school, but still in walking distance, and he'd still be close enough to this place."

"I don't know . . ." Kasumi said.

"Not going to work!" Nabiki said, "Ranma and Ryoga need to stay together!"

"What? Why?" Genma asked.

"Ryoga isn't here right now." Nodoka pointed out.

Nabiki blinked, "Oh crap, you're right!" She said, she looked at Kasumi, "When did he leave?"

"Weren't you here when it happened?" Ranma asked.

"He left a while ago, I think he was going to the park." Kasumi said.

Nabiki rolled off of the couch and ran for the door, "You directionless son of a—" she was screaming as she left.

Ranma tilted his head to the side. "What's her deal?"

"Never mind her," Genma said, "What do you think of your mother's deal?"

"Mr. Saotome, it is vital that Ranma and Ryoga not leave this house for too long." Kasumi said.

"Why?" Genma asked.

"Yeah, why?" Ranma scoffed.

Kasumi lowered her head, "I . . . I cant . . . for their sakes . . ."

Soun frowned, Ranma did too. "What's the problem?" He asked.

**

* * *

**

Ryoga lunged for Tatewaki when suddenly Mercedes began to bark loudly, distracting Ryoga.

The lost boy looked and saw the dog growing very irate, the other animals began to become uneasy.

Ryoga noticed a vaguely familiar face coming towards him, a late contestant he supposed with a pair of dogs following along.

As they got closer Ryoga realized those dogs didn't look friendly, and this was confirmed when one of them leapt out and tried to bite the runner!

Ryoga glared at Kuno, then back at the boy, "Be here when I get back!" He commanded.

_What? What am I doing?_ Ryoga wondered to himself.

The boy came closer to the glass doors, he held out his hands to open them but it was at just that moment that the first dog caught him.

The dog bit down on the youth's leg, and the two of them crashed through the glass!

They rolled, both coming up bloody, the boy thrust his hand forward and the dog flew backwards in what Ryoga guessed was probably the same way he had!

The young man scowled as the second dog leapt at him and went for his throat, Ryoga rushed forward and shoved the beast away, "Are you okay?" Ryoga demanded.

The young man with shoulder length white hair blinked at Ryoga, and Ryoga recognized him.

"You're one of the K-Fighters!" He said, "The one who was looking for Jun!"

"Well he found him." Jun said darkly. He held two guns, one pointed at Ryoga, the other pointed at the boy. "My master, it is good to see you've caught this little cretin. He was once blessed enough to be a member of a guild, but he's betrayed them. Show him justice, my liege!"

"You're the son of a bitch that shot Nabiki." Ryoga said darkly. "Did you think I'd forgotten?"

Ryoga glared, and looked back at Kuno, wondering who he wanted to kill more.

_Kill them both!_ Ryoga thought.

But Kuno regained his fighting stance. "If this cur has harmed Nabiki Tendo I shall help you in defeating him, Fanged Wanderer!"

The K-Fighter got to his feet and said, "Now you're out numbered, murderer. Why not tell me what I want to know before I stand back and watch the chosen one bathe in your blood?"

Jun scowled, but a second man laughed.

He stood behind Jun and put a hand on his shoulder, the dogs rushed over to him and he gave each a pat on the head.

"Us outnumbered?" The second man said. "Little brother, have you taken a look around? Just look at all these animals. With a word from me they'll do their best to kill you and anyone who stands with you." The other man winked at Ryoga, "Except the Great King of course. Name's Fenrir, master. A pleasure."

Fenrir's brother scowled and looked around at all the animals.

"Taking it in, little brother? I'm going to do now what I should have done back in Hong Kong."

Ryoga heard a low growl, he turned around in surprise to see Mercedes was glaring at him . . . with the hungry look he normally gave only P-Chan.

Other pets were acting similarly, Fenrir laughed wickedly, Ryoga gulped.

He hoped self defense wouldn't count as cruelty to animals . . .

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Next Time:**_ Ryoga and Kuno will team up for the greater good, but Ryoga doesn't plan to let their fight end in a draw once Jun is taken care of. Ranma runs into Ukyo and Konatsu who're quite tired after a hard night's riot, but will they be ready to lend a hand when Tosa kidnaps Nabiki? And is that really Nabiki that she's got? Will the youthful champions Ryoga and Tatewaki be able to defeat the experienced assassins of the Spirit Cat order? Who are the two new assassins making themselves known during the battle? (And note that NEITHER of these two is an Original Character! I'm so happy!) _


	20. Because I’m The Chosen One!

**Charlotte's Sequel**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Because I'm The Chosen One!**

Ryoga shuddered as Mercedes lunged for him, he threw himself to the side!

Betrayed by Mercedes? Ryoga could hardly believe it, the dog was so friendly . . . when Ryoga didn't look like a bite sized black baby pig.

The dog spun midair, landed on his back in exactly the way a cat never would have, rolled to his feet and charged again! Ryoga leapt backwards but ran right into Mr. Turtle!

The crocodile's jaws swung closed faster than anything Ryoga had ever seen, and the lost boy nearly lost himself in Mr. Turtle's jaws but strong arms took him and shoved him forward.

The arms of Tatewaki Kuno.

That didn't mean Ryoga would let him live. No, no, no. All Kuno had done in saving Ryoga from a bit of injury was further secure his own death.

So maybe Ryoga wasn't Nabiki's first choice anymore . . . he'd make sure before this fight was over that he was her _only_ choice.

She'd love him once Kuno was dead. And if she didn't . . . if she . . . didn't . . .

_She can die too._

'No. Not that . . .' Ryoga thought to himself.

And Mercedes rammed into him! The time for thought was over, Ryoga's fist flew out towards the dog's jaws, he held the dog's mouth open working not to actually harm the creature.

"Snap out of it Mercedes! It's me, Ryoga! Remember that new name I promised you?" Ryoga tried.

"It's no use great king." Jun's companion, Fenrir said, "Mercedes–as you call him–only obeys me. My powers allow me great influence over all animals, but most especially with my favorite kind . . . and I've always been a dog lover."

Suddenly Fenrir's two dogs were on Ryoga, each one latched on to one of his arms, weakening him so that he could no longer hold the massive Mercedes back! Ryoga fell to the ground and Mercedes lunged for him, hitting the ground hard and laying atop Ryoga, his mouth just inches from the lost boy's throat, and coming closer!

Ryoga had about a moment before Mercedes bit into his throat!

Only that moment came and went and the great dog didn't move. Mercedes was millimeters from Ryoga's throat, still he didn't strike.

Ryoga realized he felt a little heavier than usual, and understood Mercedes wasn't moving because he was too heavy to move.

Indeed closer inspection told Ryoga that the dog clearly was struggling just to keep standing, the other two dogs, while still latched to Ryoga's arms were not even capable of that.

Ryoga kicked Mercedes off of himself as gently as possible, a feat accomplished in such heavy gravity because Ryoga was so physically strong. Ryoga got up, ripping his arms free of the other two dogs, he rose to his feet and looked at Jun who was struggling to raise his gun. Kuno, Ryoga noticed was lying on the ground struggling to move his arms towards his sword which he seemed to have dropped . . .

"Flaunting your power, Bobby?" Jun asked, "This is some illusion, but just an illusion. Actual control of gravity defies far too many laws of science." Jun said.

Bobby–if that was the name of the K-Fighter–stood up with the same ease as Ryoga and said "Yeah, yeah. Say what you want to say . . . as long as some of what you say answers the questions I'm going to ask you." Bobby approached Jun and said darkly, "I'm through playing, master, this "illusion" isn't budging until you tell me everything you know about–"

"Hey little brother!" Fenrir shouted, struggling just to get to his knees, "Did you forget that _I _know you can only affect what you can see with your eyes?"

Ryoga blinked and noticed that Bobby, indeed, had not done the same. Not since everything got heavy.

Bobby shrugged. "So? I can see everything just fine."

"Yeah? Look behind you. What you don't see, that's what we like to call an ace in the hole."

A fourth dog leapt out, sinking its teeth into Bobby's arm, the youth closed his eyes and shouted, Ryoga felt lighter, the other three dogs got up, Fenrir laughed and rose, Kuno grabbed his sword and rose.

Jun got to his feet too. He raised his gun towards Bobby's head . . . and he fired.

At point blank range, missing Bobby just wasn't possible.

* * *

Ranma sighed as he walked down the street eating a hot dog a vendor had given him free of charge for being such a good customer. Ranma had never been the vendor's customer, not even once, but he wasn't going to turn down free food, and it was rare that he ate Italian food. Or Canadian, whatever the heck this "hot dog" was. 

He was in search of nothing in particular, and finding it with ease.

The things Kasumi had said . . . they couldn't be true.

But if they were he supposed he should be looking for Ryoga. Who knew where the lost boy was? Naturally Ranma made a mental quip about how even Ryoga would never know where he was, but since there was no one around to appreciate his wit he kept it to himself.

It was then that Ranma noticed that there _was _someone who could appreciate his wit! Limping towards him, and waving to get his attention was Konatsu!

Ranma had never felt particularly close to Konatsu, but with him, using her spatula as a crutch was Ukyo, and Ranma and Ukyo got on just swell. He ran over to them and said, "Hey! What's up? Looks like you guys got run through the ringer!"

"In a manner of speaking." Konatsu gasped.

"We've just been out partying all night." Ukyo wheezed.

"Cool." Ranma nodded." Hey, ya seen Ryoga anywhere?"

Ukyo looked funny, sort of guilty, "I wouldn't know where he is, Ranma honey, I don't care about him like I care about you!"

Ranma blinked. "That's kinda mean. Anyway I'm not asking you t'date him, I just wanna know where he is, he could get hurt out there on his own."

"Hurt?" Ukyo blinked, she hefted her spatula over her shoulder, her limp disappearing instantly, "Where's our leads? Do you know where he was headed? Have there been any witnesses?"

Ranma blinked at her again. "What happened to your limp?" He asked.

"Oh that. I was just pretending so Konatsu here wouldn't feel like a wimp."

"You got beat up?" Ranma asked.

"Naw." Konatsu said. "I tripped when we were running into battle and sprained my ankle."

"Ah." Ranma nodded. "That's too bad."

"But not as bad as this!" A woman's voice chuckled, Ranma turned around to see some woman dressed in black holding Nabiki with a knife to her neck! "If you want to see Hibiki's fiancee again, you'll do as I say!"

Ranma scoffed, "Oh great, this again!" He paused and then laughed, "Hey Ukyo, d'you remember that time Mousse kidnaped that stuffed animal and thought it was Akane?"

"No. Was I there?" Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "It seems like the sort of thing I'd want to remember."

"Oh I guess you weren't . . ." Ranma scratched his chin. "If you had been though, maybe we could have saved Akane's stuffed animal with a pincer."

The woman in black sighed and said, "Oyah! I have Hibiki's woman you fools! Can we focus on there here and now, not the there and then?"

Ranma was focusing quite well actually. "Of course a pincer is too cliche, been used way too many times."

"If I'd been there I would have come in behind Mousse while you took him from the front, and if Konatsu were there he'd have come up from beneath."

"My hand is getting tired, I may have to slice her throat just because of how bored I'm getting!" The woman in black said.

"Beneath eh?" Ranma grinned, "I'd love to see how you manage that, Konatsu."

Konatsu grinned back, "Then observe, I'll show you."

With that the three martial artists sprang for the woman, who only held her knife tighter, and pressed it against Nabiki's neck!

* * *

"Bobby" scowled as Jun fired his gun. 

He could have stopped the bullet if it wasn't so close to him!

He prepared for death, an eternal rest with the knowledge that he'd failed in his most important task. What did it matter if he'd come close to the answers he needed? In the end close wasn't close enough.

There was a sound like lightning, Bobby felt a sharp pain in his face and he was thrown back several feet, slamming into a cage of birds, freeing the little finches so that they could be free to escape and overpopulate Japan.

So this was death? Wasn't really that bad.

He put a hand to his cheek and didn't feel any blood, but it did hurt.

He looked to Jun and saw the assassin rising to his feet, holding his wrist. Above him stood Tatewaki Kuno, a black smoking bullet imbedded in the wooden blade of his sword.

Bobby surmised that Kuno had kicked him out of the way and blocked the gunshot with his sword, daring and a little crazy but much appreciated.

"This fight," Kuno said, "is between myself and the man who has injured my Nabiki Tendo, newcomers will stay out of it."

Bobby's gratitude evaporated. His eyes narrowed. "Jun is mine, I need him to answer some questions."

"I'll leave enough of him for interrogation . . ." Ryoga said darkly, shoving Kuno aside, "Because she's _my_ Nabiki, and he'll be answering _my_ questions."

Bobby frowned, if Ryoga was about to fight Jun, and Kuno had been thrown into a wall, who was looking after–

Fenrir slammed into him, his older brother's fist slammed into his face while another hand wrapped itself around his neck!

Fenrir emitted something between a laugh and a snarl as he raised his clawed fist for a smashing attack on Bobby's head!

Bobby scowled, his hand flew up, hitting Fenrir in the face, the older man suddenly flew up as well, slamming into the ceiling, his two dogs leapt up towards Bobby but their leaps took them higher and higher until they too inhabited the ceiling.

"Grah! You little punk!" Fenrir roared in outrage.

Bobby got up, keeping his eyes on them as best he could.

And then the giant dog, Mercedes slammed into him!

Fenrir and his boys feel to the ground with a hard, wet "thud"

Bobby's eyes were on Jun for an instant, then on Mercedes.

He hated dogs.

He was pretty much running low on energy, he was panting from exhaustion caused both by the run, and by the battle.

Fenrir got to his feet, Bobby lay motionless beneath the giant dog. If he had a set amount of morale, that was running low too.

Lying on his back the only thing–other than Mercedes–that Bobby could see well was the ceiling. The annoying finches were now dive-bombing random people in the crowd who'd decided to watch the battle, a bit of humor on Fenrir's part that was only funny if you were the one being dive bombed.

Under different circumstanced Bobby might have laughed too. It was kind of funny to see little birds flying around the room attacking people. Back in the day, when they were still able to say the word "brother" to one another without malice, Bobby would have laughed.

Before the betrayal. Before the Hong Kong Battle. Before Tokai and Maggie, and everyone else had been . . .

Bobby took a quick, deep breath to calm himself before he got carried away and someone _really_ got hurt. Killing Fenrir wasn't an option, but neither was wasting any more time with his older brother.

Jun was his objective and if Kuno and Hibiki were left alone for too long there wouldn't be enough of Jun left for questioning.

But how to end this fight in a quick and nonlethal way, and then deal with Jun, Hibiki and Kuno?

The young man continued to stare at the ceiling . . .

He rolled backwards and came to his feet. He dashed out the door.

Fenrir followed him–predictably–he'd get rid of Fenrir, give him the slip, it wouldn't take but a minute, and maybe Jun would still be alive when he got back.

His plans were usually far better than this. It was a bad plan, a terrible plan, it was all he could come up with under such stress and it annoyed him to no end.

* * *

Ranma sprang forward, the woman in black leapt backwards . . . into Ukyo! 

Ukyo kicked her in the back and sent her and Nabiki flying towards Ranma, the woman dropped her knife and let go of Nabiki as she raised her hands to prevent Ranma from damaging her–to be honest, rather striking–face.

The 'Nabiki' she'd been holding evaporated before it ever hit the ground, and Ranma felt confused enough to tilt his head to the side, but at the same time he was expert enough not to let his focus travel too far from the battle.

He felt something on his ankles, Konatsu swung out from between Ranma's legs, the ninja's feet came up, slammed into the woman's chin and sent her into the air, Konatsu flipped and landed on Ranma's shoulders, however his injured ankle ruined the delicate landing and he fell off, onto his face.

"Aww Konatsu, that was so cool, why'd you mess it up?" Ukyo demanded.

The woman that had held Nabiki slammed into the ground and evaporated as well.

Ranma raised an eyebrow, "What the heck is this?" He demanded.

"A dream, an illusion." The woman said, and Ranma saw her sitting on a park bench watching them, she held a familiar fan in her hands, though how she'd gotten it Ranma did not know. "Did you like it? I knew that you, Saotome were resistant to such things, so I used a bit of my own talents on you to empower the fan."

"Your own talents?" Ranma scoffed, guessing by her apparel and the gold rings she wore as bracelets that this woman was a member of the guild Kasumi had told him about. "You're unusual?"

"No. I am proud to say that I am not a freak like you or that fool Lo-Chun. None of the _top_ assassins of our order are Unusual. You see you simply cannot trust a mutant." The woman smiled, her red hair reminded Ranma of his own when he was in his female form, in fact a lot about her reminded Ranma of himself. "My talent is with drugs and poisons, I slipped you a little something through that hot dog to make you more susceptible to illusions. Feel privileged, I gave you just enough for it to take effect but not enough for you to end up addicted, like just about every American boy your age."

"You put sex in the hot dog?" Ranma gasped, hiding the sarcasm in his voice.

"Illegal narcotics! I put drugs in the hot dog!" The woman cried angrily. "You're _so_ stupid!"

"So what d'you want?" Ranma demanded.

"For you to show me what you've got, after all you _might _be the chosen one." The woman shrugged.

"Impressed yet?" Ranma smirked.

"Not yet. But . . . if you can defeat these two . . ." The woman said, trailing off.

Ranma heard Ukyo and Konatsu both shout in surprise, he spun around and saw a pair of figures in black standing atop of his unconscious friends.

"It has been a long time, Ranma Saotome." A familiar female voice said. This voice belonged to the taller of the two figures, dressed all in black with a mask over her face Ranma couldn't be sure who it was. Her smaller compatriot waved shyly so Ranma assumed whoever it was they couldn't have been on very terrible terms when they last met.

Neither of these two wore gold or silver rings, but they were clearly adorned in the same basic clothing type as the woman on the bench. Ranma took up a fighting stance and said "There's no need to be bashful, why don't you quit hiddin' your pretty faces and let me see who it is I'll be beatin' down on!"

The taller woman complied, removing her mask and revealing a face that Ranma decided should be familiar, but wasn't.

The shorter one removed her mask, there was a slightly famished look in her eyes and Ranma felt like _that_ should be familiar, and again it wasn't.

"As I have said, it has been a long time, Ranma Saotome." The taller woman said.

Ranma held up a hand, "Wait up." He said and he tapped his foot.

"What's wrong?" The younger woman asked.

"Just a second . . ." Ranma said.

"We do not have all day." The older one said cooly.

"Okay, okay, I got it!" Ranma cried, punching his fist into his palm, "You're Hikaru Gosunkugi and Pantyhose Taro!"

The two women looked at one another in horror, "He doesn't remember us Natsume! Even worse he thinks we're boys!"

"That is because he is a fool, Karumi. We'll _make_ him remember us."

"Oh yeah, now I remember, you're Natsume and Karumi!" Ranma said quickly, feeling sly.

"Oh . . . I guess he does remember us, sister!" Karumi said with relief.

"Don't be so easily tricked, we just _told _him our names!" Natsume scowled at Ranma.

"Oh yeah . . ." Karumi said, blushing with embarrassment.

Ranma shook his head, "What're you two doing becoming assassins?"

"We don't have to assassinate people, we're just muscle." Karumi said and shrugged, "It's a job."

"Yes it is." Natsume said darkly, "Besides, what else is there for us since you helped deprive us of our right to inherit our father's school?"

Ranma blinked, "Me? But I didn't really do anything." He said, trying to sound innocent and harmless. "It was Akane!"

"Never mind that, you're going down now, and she'll go down too!" Natsume cried, lunging forward.

Ranma didn't doubt his ability to win because Ranma never doubted himself when it came to martial arts as a general rule, however a fight against the two estranged Tendo sisters–as far as they were concerned–was not something he looked forward to.

* * *

Ryoga kept his eyes on Jun and Kuno at the same time, as far as he was concerned they were both his enemy, but Jun was his target. 

If he got a chance to kill Kuno, and believed he'd still be able to defeat Jun afterwards he'd do it.

Kuno lunged in, sword tip leading, "For Nabiki Tendo's honor!" He roared.

"He's not the one who damaged her honor!" Ryoga snapped, slapping Kuno aside with one hand and reaching out for Jun's face with the other. "You're the one who kissed her, knowing she was engaged to me!"

"Oh!" Jun gasped, "Master, has this man defiled the woman you love? Let me kill him for you, let me show you my loy–!"

Ryoga's fist reached Jun's face and the assassin flew back ten feet! "Stop calling me 'master' you sniveling worm!" Ryoga called, "And anyway his life is for _me_ to take, just as yours is!"

_Yes! YES! You _sound_ like the chosen one now . . . now carry through, show me that you _are_ the chosen one . . ._ the voice in Ryoga's head told him, not even bothering now to pretend to be a part of him.

Ryoga smiled. What lovely advice. The question now as not 'would he kill them' it was 'whom would die first' and Ryoga felt a little bit like a kid in a candy store trying to decide.

_The man who had nearly killed our beloved, or the man who has sullied her and made her a whore? Oh yes, so difficult to choose, I want them both to die . . . perhaps if I slay them both at once?_ Ryoga, or the voice in his head thought, it was getting harder and harder to distinguish them.

No. It was definitely the voice in his head, "I'd never refer to Nabiki as a where" He snapped aloud at himself.

Jun, rubbing his jaw looked confused, and Tatewaki stood up, his wooden sword pointed towards Ryoga.

"We didn't say anything like that, great king!" Jun said.

_But she is . . . she's betrayed me, and gone off with him, I should be mad, I should want to hurt her as well . . . I should want to kill her._

'But I don't. You're starting to annoy me.' Ryoga thought darkly, but aloud he snapped, "Stop calling me 'great king!' It's like you have a crush on me, it's getting on my nerves!" Ryoga felt power inside of him hitting a dam, and he knew that power was the strength of the chosen one, at least that was what that little voice inside of him was telling him.

_Kill them and it's yours! Kill them and find the physical strength to kill Ranma, find the emotional strength to discard Nabiki, find the spiritual strength to rule over the entire world from the shadows!_

Ryoga glared. "The only strength I need to kill Ranma is my own. Nabiki already left _me_ and I don't want to rule the world. Your promises are all worthless to me." He said aloud, drawing odd stares from Kuno and Jun.

"Then Nabiki Tendo has finally left you . . . for me." He said with a smug grin.

Jun moved so fast it was as if he'd teleported, he appeared next to Kuno, a gun pressed to his head, "Shall I kill him for you, chosen?" Jun asked, carefully avoiding the title of Great King. Despite having a gun pointed to his head, Tatewaki remained smug.

Seeing that on his face Ryoga couldn't help it, he had to wipe that look off! He lunged forward and drew his fist back, grabbed Kuno by the collar with his other hand and . . .

Slammed his fist into Jun's face!

"I'll kill you once he's dealt with!" Ryoga barked at Kuno.

"I don't understand Great King, she is a harlot, unworthy of you, I did you service in shooting her, and her death was never my intention to begin with! Why do you seek to destroy _me_?" Jun asked.

Ryoga wasn't really sure how to put his answer into words. There were so many reasons that Jun had to be dealt with. He was a murderer who'd turned Lotion and who knew how many other children into murderers, he'd hurt Nabiki, kidnaped her and shot her, escaped justice, tried to kill Ryoga and his friend Ranma, yes Ranma was his friend!

_No he's not!_

Oh shut up. Yes Ranma was his friend, and Ranma wouldn't deliberately shatter him. Hurt him yes, Ranma did that a lot, though it was never done maliciously and not always intentionally, but he wouldn't shatter his entire world around him. Jun shooting Nabiki had shattered Ryoga's world, Kuno kissing Nabiki had shattered Ryoga's world. Nabiki was his world and in one form or another both of these men had damaged her. He would never forgive either of them.

He felt that power again, not the power of the chosen one but the Shi Shi Hokodan . . . and he wasn't even depressed. He was just really angry.

* * *

Ranma didn't want to give the two sisters the opportunity to draw their weapons or go into their fighting stances, they'd gotten off of Ukyo and Konatsu and both were breathing lightly, Ranma glared at Karumi, since she was the nicer of the two and easily bribed he said, "Karumi, I've got some rice crackers in my pocket and you look really hungry. You want 'em?" 

"Don't fall for his tricks Karumi!" Natsumi cried.

"No tricks, I just want to make sure you're fed Karumi, and in top form so this fight can be worth while." Ranma reached into his pocket and was so relieved to find he wasn't lying, but man how long had those crackers been there?

He offered them to Karumi who looked at him with a bizarre kind of affection. It wasn't the physical affection that he got from Ukyo or Akane, it was more the 'I wont bite the hand that feeds me' affection which one might expect from a starving animal, and that was just fine by Ranma.

Harume took the crackers and devoured them.

Ranma nodded to the girl, "See? No catch. By the way, how'd you guys end up with the Nekekami?" He asked, trying to stall the fight, see if he could get Ukyo or Konatsu to come to while he talked to the sisters.

"There's actually a funny story behind that, isn't there Natsume?" Karumi said, licking her fingers.

"Well . . . yes." Natsume admitted.

"Can I tell it?" Karumi asked. "Please?"

"Ugh. Fine, tell him and then we fight!" Natsume allowed.

"Excuse me? You're supposed to be fighting right now." The woman in black called from behind them. "I've got other things to do so I'll be leaving . . . please make sure he's dead by the time I get back."

"Yay!" Karumi bounced up and down, which Ranma didn't recall being one of her regular characteristics before.

"Okay, so it was a dark and stormy night and it was raining really hard so we went and hid in this abandoned barn. And there were all these people there so we thought it was like a party or something but–"

"But a member of the Nekekami was actually in the barn, a prisoner of the local townspeople, he was being held for the police and he claimed that he had a rescue party coming, when we showed up he claimed we were they," Natsume said.

"So the townspeople attacked us, and we beat 'em all up!" Karumi giggled, "So we free the guy and he offers us a job, we take it 'cause we need money and it doesn't have anything to do with Natsume taking her cloths off–"

"Enough Karumi!" Natsume cried, "I have _never_–"

"Yeah, I know you're smarter than that. "Ranma nodded, but mostly he wanted her to shut up so he could hear the rest of the story.

"Yes. Well it's time for you to be destroyed." Natsume pointed out.

"Just one thing. Why'd a rare and elite guild invite two nobodies–forgive me–to join them? You could have been spies!"

"From what we've learned they're nearing a civil war with other guilds, they need muscle as well as assassins, they need people like us if they want to win the war." Natsume said.

"War?" Ranma raised an eyebrow.

Natsume frowned, "I shouldn't tell you." She said.

"But since you're our pal," Karume said, "They're going to use their power to start another world war, in all the chaos and violence they can swallow up the other guilds and rebuild the cabal! The Nekekami are the strongest so we definitely picked the right side!"

"Okay but how is that funny?" Ranma asked, the sisters shrugged.

"Traveling around with no place to really go is boring. I guess we're just easily entertained." Karumi admitted.

"Yes Karumi, but now can we please beat him up and earn our checks?" Natsume demanded.

"Okaaay!" Karumi grumbled.

"Oh . . . right . . . about that . . ." Ranma smirked, "I don't go quietly." He said, and he rushed forward!

"Hold it sugar!" Ukyo shouted.

Ranma stopped, he looked back and saw a very enraged Ukyo, and Konatsu.

"Nobody gets the jump on us from behind. We'll handle these two, you get the one that ran off." Ukyo said.

Ranma smiled at his childhood friend, "You're the best Ucchan." He said, "Oh, and don't take it easy on these two, they're tough, but also don't kill them!"

"I don't tell you how to do your job, get out'a here Ranma honey!" Ukyo called as Ranma ran off.

He knew Ukyo, she wouldn't hurt Karumi and Natsume too badly . . .

The person Ranma was worried about now was Ryoga.

* * *

Ryoga glared at Jun, he thrust _his_ hand forward the way Bobby usually did, just to see what happened. 

A blast of teal light erupted and engulfed Jun! He screamed in agony.

When the blast cleared Jun was lying on the ground trying to raise his gun and failing. "But chosen one! I found you! I should stand besides you in glory!" Jun pleaded.

"Yes . . . but now I want you to die." Ryoga said with a twisted smile.

"Hold fanged wanderer," Kuno said, "to slay an opponent in such a manner is without honor."

"To kiss a man's fiancee, to lay your filthy hands on her while he and she are still involved with him, that is totally without honor. Really, how you get off talking about something you don't possess is beyond me." Ryoga said, he smirked when Kuno gripped his sword hilt tightly.

"Nabiki Tendo loves _me_." Kuno said coldly.

Ryoga's eyes narrowed, "No she doesn't!" He snapped, "She can't! She . . ." He frowned. "I . . . I don't care anymore!" He roared, "You're both going to die, and not because of her, because of me! I've spent too much time thinking about her, serving her, it's time now to serve myself!"

_Time now to do what you must!_

"Time now to break the dams, the barriers, to shatter the walls!"

_Time now to break the glass, seize the world on the other side!_

"Time to . . . what?"Ryoga whispered. Break the glass? That sounded so familiar.

It gave Ryoga Hibiki pause, it did not do so for Tatewaki Kuno who lunged in, sword poised for the strike, a war scream on his lips!

Ryoga's arm flew out, snapping Kuno's sword in half, "Learn your place!" Jun shouted, finally raising his gun and shooting Kuno!

For reasons he'd never be able to explain Ryoga's hand shot forward, his legs propelled him forward and he knocked the gun out of Jun's hands, it went off harmlessly and fell to the ground.

Jun reached for another, Ryoga's fist flew, laying the older man out flat, he then viciously kicked Jun, causing the assassin to cough out just one more breath before he lay there motionless . . .

Motionless . . . but breathing.

Ranma's words rang in Ryoga's head, the words of Ryoga's friend–yes that was what Ranma was, once you got down to it.

Between the three of them, Ranma was the one who hadn't ruined things for Ryoga lately, sure the whole P-Chan episode wasn't completely behind Ryoga, but Jun had shot Nabiki, and Kuno had kissed her. Ryoga had allowed it all. He hadnt protected Nabiki well enough, and she'd been kidnaped. Hadn't given her good enough reason to be loyal, she'd been unfaithful.

_Well . . . that last one isn't really my fault completely, she can share blame for that._ Ryoga or whoever the hell thought darkly.

Either way Ryoga had himself lost the thing most precious to him, Tatewaki Kuno was not to blame. As for Jun . . .

Well . . . Jun could face the authorities.

"You're going to prison." Ryoga said coldly, "You say I'm your master. Call it my will."

Tatewaki put a hand on Ryoga's shoulder. "You have made the right choice." He said.

Ryoga had to literally fight himself not to break Kuno's hand just then, how dare the rich boy _touch_ him?

Ryoga's fists shook as he worked to keep calm, "Tatewaki Kuno . . . because of my own feelings for Nabiki I will not cause her to cry over your mangled corpse." Ryoga said.

Tatewaki wisely withdrew his hand, though his voice when he responded was foolishly pompous, "A wise maneuver. Yes it is good to see that you understand, it is better to have loved her and lost her than never to have–"

"Mind you," Ryoga said darkly, "I said 'mangled corpse' as long as I leave some breath in you, and some beat to your heart you're just a 'mangled body' and there's enough of a difference there to satisfy both my sense of honor and my desire not to hurt the woman I love." Ryoga said, and his arm whipped out to hit Tatewaki Kuno!

But as Ryoga's fist flew he saw Tatewaki was no longer there, he had been shoved aside! In his place was a woman dressed in black.

She threw herself back to avoid his blow, flipped and stood on her hands.

She looked vaguely familiar, Ryoga would swear on his mother's black heart that he'd seen this woman before. She looked up at him through eyes covered by thick black lense goggles, she smiled a playful smile and said flipped herself right side up.

"You like that Nabiki girl? Good. She's yours . . . if you can defeat me." The woman said.

"What do you mean?" Ryoga demanded.

"Show me your true strength, and I'll tell you where Nabiki Tendo is being held prisoner." The woman explained. "Mind you she's under guard, many Nekekami agents are watching her . . . if you want her back you'd best shed this current manifestation, take Jun's life there and become our Chosen One . . ." The girl tilted her head towards Tatewaki, "or just kill him master. I know you can. You were fighting so enthusiastically before, such power, such passion, I've fallen in love with your movements."

Ryoga scoffed, "Ryoga Hibiki never harms a woman!"

"Pity." The girl shrugged. "Then I guess she'll die." She grabbed the collar of her shirt and spoke to it, "Condition Omeg–"

That was all she said as suddenly Ryoga's inhibitions about fighting women disappeared.

So, it seems, did Tatewaki Kuno's, though such inhibitions never really existed in the older boy, the main focus is that with a sword provided him by his ninja butler–who didn't seem too keen on being any more involved in the fight than that–Kuno lunged forward and struck out for the girl.

She laughed maniacally and looked up at the ceiling, "Don't take me for a weakling master!" She cried, and threw something into the air!

There was a blaring sound and Ryoga realized he'd made a major mistake, miscalculated a major factor . . .

And now he wouldn't get to beat Kuno or this woman . . . unless he moved like the wind!

He shot for the exit and threw himself out of the building right through an unbroken glass door, he felt his rage build again and hurled a blast of Shi Shi Hokodan–well it couldn't really be that, he didn't feel depressed, he'd have to make up a new name for this–into the building.

The fire alarm went off, water sprinkled down on the inhabitants of the pet show, it was then that Ryoga remembered that was where they had been, but the animals weren't attacking anymore . . .

Fenrir and the K-Fighter were already gone . . . so was Mercedes . . .

Ryoga suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, he spun around and there was the woman again.

"You can be fast when you need to be master. Good. Now . . . shall we play?"

"Gladly." Ryoga scowled.

"Good. Who knows, perhaps in time we will become more than friends. You will need a new consort . . . since that other boy interrupted me in the middle of giving the order to spare Nabiki Tendo's life for an additional ten minutes."

Ryoga's heart stopped.

No way that was true, this woman probably didn't even _have_ Nabiki . . .

But if it were true . . .

If it _were_ true . . .

He scowled and dashed back into the building, Tatewaki had to die!

He stopped himself right outside, he spun around and glared at the girl, who was inspecting her nails. "You're trying to trick me!" He roared. "You want me to get wet!"

"Probably." She shrugged. "But who can tell?"

Ryoga smiled darkly, "You'll tell. I'll make you tell. I'll beat it out of you."

"I thought you didn't hurt women?" The girl in black smiled slyly.

"Ryoga Hibiki never harms a woman, that's what I said isn't it? Well I'm not Ryoga Hibiki. I'm the chosen one!"

"Maybe."

"No maybe about it, _I_ am the chosen one, and the question you've got to ask yourself now is do you want me as your enemy? Unfortunately my patience is very short so answer it fast . . ."

The girl smiled and said–

"Nope, too late." Ryoga snarled, and punched her into the far building.

* * *

Bobby leapt backwards and onto a chain link fence, "Give it up Fenrir, you cant win! Keep this up and your partner is going to be killed!" He called back at his elder brother. 

Bobby didn't expect a positive reaction, didn't want one, he wanted to give Fenrir the shake and his plan to do so was now in place.

Led by the giant German Shepherd and Fenrir's two mongrels the beast master advanced along with quite a few other dogs, some from the pet show and some he'd just added to his pack from conscripts along the way. Bobby noted that the number of animals his brother could seize control of had increased.

That was fine. Fenrir's strengths weren't the only ones to increase since Hong Kong.

A pair of poodles suddenly came in at Bobby from the left side, they easily leapt the six foot height of the fence and would have ripped him down from the top of it had he not spotted them.

He flipped them over his shoulder without ever laying a finger on them, as they soared through the air the gravitational pull suddenly switched directions and the dogs were sucked into the area behind Bobby, which was a large flowing waterway.

Bobby gasped in surprise as another pair of dogs took him from the left side while his attention was on the poodles on his right. "Oh no!" He cried as he fell backwards rather than being pulled forwards, he stopped himself by grabbing onto the fence.

Fenrir laughed like the moron he was, "Startle you brother?" He asked.

"Oh no, I'm doomed! I give up!" Bobby cried, forcing a bit of fear into his voice.

Fenrir laughed and his dogs slammed into the fence, barking, growling and snarling, Bobby almost lost his grip.

The two behind him were struggling to get at him as well, swimming towards the steep concrete incline that would take them to the fence and allow them to attack him.

He was surrounded.

He'd planned to be.

Timing needed to be perfect, Fenrir laughed maniacally and clapped his hands as he tended to do before killing someone. Bobby scoffed, has his brother fallen so low and so deep in the Nekekami beliefs that he would kill him?

A pity, but then they'd really stopped being brothers that day in Hong Kong. Bobby's eyes narrowed, "I give up Fenrir, don't hurt me!"

"Naw little brother. I want to hurt you. I want to see your blood all over these beautiful animals' teeth, then I'll take my pack back to master Jun and annihilate that idiot with the sword, gain favor in the eyes of the chosen one. Never mind your death brother, it'll be slow and painful, just the way you've always wanted."

Bobby rolled his eyes. Fenrir's pack slammed into the fence again, and the poodles finally reached Bobby's ankles, he screamed in pain and pretended to loose his grip.

Fenrir laughed insanely and clapped maniacally . . .

Bobby fell into the water.

"Get him! Rip him apart!" He heard Fenrir laugh before he submerged.

He thrust his fist forward and the poodles were suddenly pulled in a direction opposite his own. He saw, above the murky water the fence collapse and the dogs rush into the water.

He waited . . . holding his breath beneath the surface until they had all piled into the water.

Fenrir, for all his love of dogs had failed to recognize that they were not sharks.

Dogs could bite him sure, but under water . . . well he doubted it. He held his breath longer and waited.

This had to be timed just right, the instant Fenrir entered the water for him he'd make a big splash–he couldn't resist–and close his eyes for just a moment.

That was when it had to happen, when Bobby needed to escape.

He saw his brother coming, he spun under the water so that he faced the ground, he thrust his hands forward as he heard the splash and he shot up out of the water as if he were falling into the air!

He took a relieved breath and switched the pull to bring himself towards a roof top, Fenrir viciously searching the water for him.

Now if Jun was still alive Bobby would have a little time to go in, save him, get his information, then leave the area before more blasted Spirit Cats showed up.

He nearly made it to the building before a large white shield appeared right in front of him, and unable to respond in time the young man slammed right into it.

It knocked the wind out of him, and broke his concentration, he fell to the ground some twenty feet below him.

A great white claw suddenly shot out and gripped him, just touching it cut the young man as if it were made of several small razors. It slowed his descent and almost gently placed him on the ground.

A man in black emerged from the alleyway, sucking the great white claw into his oversized sleeve.

Bobby, now covered in small cuts coughed.

Fenrir was rushing over along with the pack, "Good job partner!" He shouted, "Poor idiot brother, did you assume Jun was my partner? No way. They gave me someone familiar, someone I'd work well with."

Bobby ignored his brother stared with eyes full of hate at a man whose disturbing face he knew all too well. Dressed in black, his emotionless eyes hidden behind a pair of thick, black sunglasses, wearing a huge black trench coat and standing perhaps a bit over six feet tall, a mohawk on his otherwise shaven head it was impossible for the young man _not_ to recognize the man that had killed all of his friends in a few grizzly minutes, the man who had taken _her_ prisoner.

If Bobby had not believed this man to have died a year ago he'd have been hunting _him_ down instead of Jun.

Now he smirked. It had just become extremely hard to remember why he'd sworn never to take another human life. It also didn't seem he'd need Jun after all . . . if this man knew where _she_ was he'd be able to rescue her, see her again, make sure she was all right.

For that he'd gladly give up his life, even his soul and break the oath he made, take human life, take his brother's life if necessary. If he died in the attempt . . . that just wasn't possible, he would not allow himself to lose.

He felt his eyes _opening_ and he didn't bother trying to stop it, he felt the surge of blood lust that accompanied newly _opened_ eyes, "This was fun while it lasted." He said calmly, lunged forward!

To Be Continued . . .

Next Time: "Bobby" is about to be smashed, but who is this new assassin? Jun may be down and out, but can it be that Tosa actually has what it takes to stop an over the edge Ryoga? Karumi and Natsume intensify their attack on Ukyo and Konatsu, while Ranma races after Tosa, but it seems as if things are getting out of control, and the mysterious Hong Kong Battle is mentioned again and again . . . two _more_ assassins join the fight, but neither is a Nekekami, and our heroes may just get some unlikely help, but will it be rejected?

* * *

The Innocent Never Suspect GrimmZ's Original Character Profiles! 

Though this section is devoted to original characters made by me or otherwise, because I'm not certain everyone knows who they are we now tackle Natsume and Karumi, real and actual characters of the Ranma universe.

Natsume & Karumi: Natsume is the elder of two sisters who for reasons that escape me decide Soun Tendo is their father. She is also a babe. Karumi is the younger and she can eat anything, including Akane's cooking. She is always hungry. The two go so far as to challenge Akane for the right to inherit the school, and prove to be quite formidable.


	21. Super Heroes!

**Author's Note:** Do you like violence? Do you like sad stories where things just don't go right for the good guys at all? Do you like hot busty blonde snipers who can shoot a sparrow on a cloudy day? If you know you love a shy girl with enough raw power to level a city block, and if you like Jun, Bobby, Tokai, Fenrir and Lo-Chun and want to see them in a story more centered on them then read "The Guild" by JFalcon on this site (he's in my Favorite Authors) I did some work on the script and edited a couple of the chapters, I also created the character Tokai and lent Jun and Lo-Chun.

Note that I am endorsing this story only because I helped create it, and it uses original characters from _this_ story, I do not have sponsors nor do I normally run advertisements for other people's works, this story just happens to be slightly my work as well.

**Charlotte's Sequel  
Part XX  
****The Nerima Battle**

Bobby felt a shudder go through his boddy as he stared down the man who'd killed his entire cell, with the exception of one.

The man who'd taken _her_ away for whatever dark purpose his guild had had in mind for her.

The man who was believed dead when rogue-or at least unnamed-agents bombed a well known guild HQ.

"How long has it been? Three years . . . Recycler." The boy scoffed. "Remember me? Allow me to remind you--!" He thrust his hand forward and the tall man suddenly melted!

He fell appart into a giant pile of . . . of paper?

"A fake!" Bobby grunted, leapting backwards as the real The Recycler descended from above, slamming into the ground where he'd just been standing! The Paper Master threw his arm out and sent the pile of paper that had formed his clone hurtling towards Bobby, who was utterly defenseless.

They cut like razors, like a blizard of sharp knives! The young man closed his eyes and shouted as the wave of razor sharp sheets of papper pelted him and threw him back!

He fell on his back and rolled onto his stomach, he coughed up blood and scowled.

But he was alive. The Recycler was toying with him.

He closed his eyes, "This one's for Tokai!" He shouted, and he thrust his fist forward, the Recycler withstood the gravity blast . . . but when the younger man hurled his own blades of paper back at him he held out his hand to recieve them and likely turn them into a weapon.

He didnt get the chance as suddenly gravity reversed and he was sent hurling into the air.

Bobby, ignoring his brother's dogs as they bared down on him, leapt into the air-his leap magnified by his control of gravity-to meet his mortal enemy.

"This is for Brock!" He yelled as he struck out, drop kicking The Recycler in the stomach and then allowing him to fall down normally as Bobby sped downwards himself, ignoring the fact that he had about two seconds before they both hit the ground and became a rather ugly paste on the sidewalk.

The Recycler landed first, on his feet, the hardy man staggered and shook his head.

Bobby landed another drop kick on top of the assassin's head, "For Sora!" He roared, and twisted in mid air, landed against the ground and lunged forward, "For Oyu!" He added as his hand began to glow with a black light! He punched out, striking the black coated assassin in the chest!

His fist travled through The Recycler's chest and out the other side, his eyes grew dark, "For Maggie." He said softly and he tore his arm free from the dead body.

It fell to the ground . . . and discintigrated into a pile of paper. Another clone . . .

Bobby's eyes grew darker, it had felt like flesh and bone! "Blast!" He hissed, now exhausted and fully aware of the fact that a swarm of dogs should be attacking him any second.

But they didnt.

Instead he heard applauds. Several rounds of applauds. Fenrir was clapping, as were three clones of The Recycler.

"Not too clever, going all out like that. Even if that had been the real one how would you have handled me and my boys? Come now, the Slade I remember was a tactical thinker, you're being wreckless. But finally you fight with the intent to kill!" Fenrir laughed, "I'm so proud! I notice you had your eyes closed for some of that . . . so you've evolved beyond the regular standard of Gravity Masters, hmm? If only you'd joined the Nekekami . . . such power . . . you're above a mere Class A challenge." The Beast Master grinned, "I guess that means I'll get quite a few gold rings for killing you."

His eyes grew dark, "I'm not the Slade you know, I gave up that name when Slade was too weak to protect his friends. I'm nobody now. But even a nobody is still good enough to kill the two of you!"

Fenrir's grin dissappeared. It was replaced by a blank, emotionless expression. "Prove it." He said, and the dogs surged forward, the clones charged, the paper behind the young man came to life.

And he was out of energy, out of ideas, utterly defenseless.

**------**

Tosa slammed into the building and left a crater, wise people who'd come to investigate the ruckus decided to run. Idiots tried to stand between her and Ryoga, "Calm down! There's no need for violence!" One man cried.

Ryoga fried him, blasting a small amount of Shi Shi Hokodan from his palm.

"Whoa! Hold it buddy, or I'll call the cops!" Someone else cried, and he was blasted too.

A third citizen looked back at Tosa and said "You oughta just run, little lady!"

But Tosa's face was full of excitement, she could feel her smile was spread from ear to ear, her eyes were wide like a little girl who'd just recieved the doll she'd begged her parents to buy her.

True the blasts Ryoga was emitting were meant to be non lethal, but they obviously _were_ painful. For him to casually inflict pain on those who got in his way . . . yes, he was becoming the Chosen One . . . he was learning.

Tosa got up and wrapped her arms around the man who'd told her to run, she used him as a shield as a third blast engulfed them both!

She couldnt hold back a yelp as the energy burned right through her gloves, the man screamed.

When the blast subsided the man lay on the ground, he looked up at Tosa, "But I . . . tried to . . . protect you!"

"Protect me?" Tosa laughed as she tore her smoldering gloves off and threw them asside, "Idiot. I'm the _villain_!"

Tosa drew out her stolen fan-it was too good for that Maro brat anyway-and smirked at Ryoga, "Is this familiar, my king? You're coming with me, quietly if you please!" She waved the fan, Ryoga staggered and fell to the ground.

Tosa closed the fan and blew on the end of it as if it were the barrel of a gun. "All too easy." She laughed. "Poor Jun, guns dont solve everything." She aproached the unconcious Ryoga, she knelt down over him and sighed, "Poor master. Well . . . I'll make you feel right at home when you wake up." She said, gently stroaking his cheek, "As soon as you're secured I really _will_ kidnap that Nabiki, she can be your little play thing . . . all I want in return is power." She smiled.

Ryoga's eyes shot open, Tosa gasped and tried to back away.

His arm shot out with more speed than she'd have thought possible! He gripped her neck and he began to squeeze. "Nice offer. Not interested." He said with an evil grin.

No! No! She wanted him to kill someone, sure, but not _her_! She struggled to pry his hand free, his grip was too tight, he was too strong!

". . . he . . . lusions!" Tosa gasped as Ryoga stood up, and held her several inches off the ground.

"Didn't work." Ryoga said darkly.

"Ple . . . on't . . . ill . . . me!" Tosa pleaded, tears in her eyes.

Ryoga smiled, he brought her face close to his and she looked into those terrible, hatefilled eyes, she couldnt speak any more and she used her own eyes to plead with him, to beg him for mercy!

His expression softened, and his grip loosed until finally he dropped her, she fell in a heap. He stagered back, "What am I doing?" He whispered to himself. "I can't just kill some defenseless woman . . . she hasnt even done anything to Nabiki yet!"

Tosa gasped for air, she gagged and coughed, and crawled away. Though her vision was blurry she saw something big and red in the distance, she crawled towards it and wrapped her arms around it. She heard Ryoga's tone suddenly become darker.

"But she was _going_ to take Nabiki . . . she was going to _use_ me . . . she's just another _murderer_, and that's what she want's for _me_!" Ryoga roared.

Tosa smirked, oh she knew what was going on. Poor Ryoga-kun was arguing with himself, fighting the power he sensed, fighting because he was afraid of the sheer power he'd possess once her finally killed her.

Which was good for her because it meant she could make him kill someone else.

Well she looked at the red thing she was holding and smirked, she looked back to Ryoga. While he was confused, while he fought with himself . . . she would show him that it really was better to kill a Nekekami when you had the chance!

"I havent done anything to your woman . . . _yet_! But for what you've done to me I swear I'll get her! I'll get her and I'll kill her slowly after seeing her violated in a thousand ways! That's my word as a Nekekami, my master, and maybe then you'll finally have what it takes to kill someone and take your place as the avatar of death and murder!"

Ryoga's eyes went wild, just as she'd hoped, he put both his hands together and roared, "I wont let you hurt her, my word as a Hibiki!" He shot forth a blast, and Tosa could tell that it _was_ meant to be lethal.

Good.

Not that she had any intention of allowing it to hit _her_! She threw herself to the side at the last minute, letting the blast hit the red thing she'd been hugging. Letting the fire hydrant disintigrate, letting the water spray forth like a guyser . . . letting the man-made rain pour down on her like divine favor.

Letting it pour down on Ryoga like the horrors of hell.

She watched eagerly as he came to realization of what he'd just done, watched with a heart full of pride in herself as the Chosen One became harmless, her smile returned in its full radiance as Ryoga Hibiki became a helpless little black pig.

**------**

Ranma ran off towards Ryoga's position. At first he had no clue where the masked woman had gone, he'd simply lost track of her.

But when he saw the masses fleeing from somewhere talking about some crazy guy with a bandanna . . . well it wasnt hard to put two and two together.

When he got there Ryoga, like a true moron blasted a fire hydrant, water sprayed into the air, Ranma scoffed and ran out to where the little pig was getting drenched, he himself got wet and knew he'd just transformed into a girl, but it didnt matter. Ranma could still fight.

Ryoga had just used Shi Shi Hokodan on a stupid fire hydrant, how stupid could you get? He'd lost the fight for himself, or would have if Ranma hadnt shown up, now Ranma would show this masked woman a thing or three!

But the little pig shot forward like a bullet, P-Chan chomped down on the masked woman's hand, she screamed in pain and Ranma saw her bleed.

The redheaded Ranma rushed forward and launched a round house kick at the woman, she blocked it but Ranma's superior strength made her block useless, he broke right through her pitiful defense and sent her flying.

Before she even got up, P-Chan was at her again, this time however she caught him, slammed him on the ground and stomped on him!

It'd kill a normal little piggy, but not the hardy P-Chan. Ryoga rolled onto his back as the woman's foot came down, he kicked up with all four legs and sent her into orbit!

"Pretty good for a pock chop." Ranma grinned.

"Yeah." The woman agreed. "Not bad. But now . . . now I'm just annoyed. To be hurt by something so cute!" She spread her arms wide and shouted, "I wont let you win! I'll take you in dead or alive, your choice!" She tore shoulder length gloves from her arms and said "My arms are coated with a highly toxic substance to which _I_ am quite immune. I doubt you can make the same boast . . . one touch from me and you're paralized, I block just one of your attacks, you're paralized! You think this is over just because a pig managed to throw me in the air? Hardly! I am one of the finest killers the Nekekami order has ever produced, and I have not yet begun to fight!"

"Man, why do I always get the freaks?" Ranma asked herself. P-Chan snorted and the two cursed beings charged!

**------**

The sun was reaching it's noontime position when they appeared. A pair of them, both dressed in black.

"Looks like things are getting messy." One of them said, running his hands through wavy red hair. "Shit, almost looks like Hong Kong."

"Were you at Hong Kong?" The girl with him asked.

"Oh hells yeah!" The boy laughed, "You?"

"I was there." She said uneasily, "I had no idea what was going on and I nearly died."

"Me too. Funny how most o'the people who were in Hong Kong admit that they nearly died, eh?"

"Not funny." The girl said. "Hong Kong was a disaster. The Nekekami believe that if they can obtain the Chosen One they can prevent open warfare between the guilds, prevent another Hong Kong . . . but it is not possible. Open warfare between guilds is inevitable."

The boy laughed, "Well whatever. My keen super hero senses tell me it's happening in two places, over there and over yonder . . . shit I dont know which way to go first so you want to split up?"  
"Do you have to swear so much?" The girl sighed.

"You'll hear less if we split up." The boy pointed out.

She nodded, "Very well. I concur, let us seperate. I will take that area over there, you take that area . . . with the water spout."

"What? But I dont like getting wet." The boy frowned.

"I am useless if I get wet." The young woman said.

The boy shrugged, "Fine, whatever. Get that ass movin' then, we'll meet back here later if you dont die."

"Your words are very reassuring." The girl sighed and she left.

The boy grinned as he neared the water spout . . . he just couldnt wait! The chosen one? So cool! He'd get to make history . . . by being the one who killed the chosen one and saved the world . . . or saved the chosen one and killed the world, he wasnt sure!

He forgot details easily, but he did know that once he got into the fight he'd be able to figure out easily enough whose side he was on. Until then he just shook with excitement!

**------**

Ukyo leapt up into the air, Natsume followed her and she whacked the enemy with her spatula!

Natsume fell and hit the ground hard, Ukyo descened and landed ontop of the other woman's stomach, urging a blood curdling scream from her downed foe.

"Idiot," Ukyo scowled, getting off of her clearly injured opponent and standing in a cool battle pose, "Get in my way, attack me from behind, either one of those things would get you hurt, but both? That can get you killed!"

Natsume scowled and her fist shot up, taking Ukyo at the knee.

Ukyo leapt back to avoid the attack, and got attacked from behind by Karumi! The smaller girl grabbed Ukyo's shoulders and kicked out with both legs!

Ukyo flew into a telephone pole, people in the streets screamed and ran.

The warrior woman picked herself up and spat out blood, she turned a murderous gaze on the two sisters, she was disarmed, her spatula had come into Natsume's posession.

She threw it away. Where was Konatsu?

As if on cue the boy who was just a little too pretty appeared right behind Natsume, he extened his arm and caught the spatula, spun around and twisted it to sawt both sisters and then spun around again, threw it and Ukyo caught it!

She grinned, "You're getting a raise!" She promised.

It wouldnt be hard considering how little she paid him as it was.

Ukyo limped over to the sisters--wait, she was limping? Just how messed up was she? Well never mind that, she limped over the the sisters and shook her head, "Signing on with assassins? Not a good idea, especially when you take into consideration the fact that your little guild is our enemy."

Natsume scoffed, "Why should we take your friends and enemies into consideration whenever we make a decision? We're not part of your little group, nor do we wish to be!"

"Then I guess you're with them, not us." Ukyo shrugged. "Konatsu, how should we finish them off?"

Konatsu smirked, "We could fry them up and serve them as a side dish."  
"Side dish?" Karumi drooled.

Ukyo nodded, "Oh yes, we can even chop you into little pieces and put you on our Okonomiyaki."

"Natsume . . ." Karumi drooled.

Natsume glared, stonefaced.

Karumi threw herself to her knees and bowed before Ukyo, "Please! Please! Let me try some of your Okonomiyaki . . . but without it having any of my sister in it? Please?"

Ukyo scoffed, "I dunno . . . you kicked me pretty hard."

"Please! I havent eaten in days!" Karumi begged.

"You just ate!" Natsume blurted.

Ukyo shrugged, "Fine. You can eat Okonomiyaki . . . if you leave the guild."

"Done!" Karumi cried.

Ukyo smirked at Natsume now . . . "Well?" She asked.

Natsume shook her head, "I suppose . . . we've no _real_ reason to be loyal to the Nekekami."

"Then it's settled. Konatsu, take these ladies back home and make them a meal, I'm going to go help Ranma-honey!"

Ukyo ran off!

Or tried to, a pain shot through her leg and she crumpled to the ground. Konatsu helped her up, "I think the only place you should go right now is home, we'll have someone look at that leg. Ranma-kun can take care of himself."

"And what about Ryoga?" Ukyo asked.

"He'd never be able to beat Ranma." Konatsu said with confidence.

Ukyo nodded . . . but that wasnt what she'd meant.

**------**

Bobby leapt into the air and over the onrushing enemy, he landed hard on the pavement, his energy all but gone, and he ran.

He ran for the water, there he'd be safe from the paper, safe to collect his thoughts and plan his next move.

If only those dogs werent so fast!

He fell over suddenly as one of them bit down on his ankle, he yelled in pain. Fenrir was on him now, "Time to die!" He roared, his beast gauntlet came slicing in . . .

And Bobby died . . .

At least he should have, he closed his eyes and waited for death, heard Fenrir scream his battle cry . . . and then he opened his eyes, a sure sign that he wasnt dead.

Tomoko stood in front of him, rubbing her knuckle, "Geez, y'got bricks in yer cheeks dog breath?" She demanded.

"This guy here," Anzu said, stepping out from behind Bobby, "He's one of us now, a fighter of the Koruda school of combat. We dont just let our teammates die."

Two of The Recycler's clones stepped forward, and Bobby had no idea where the third had gone, Fenrir got to his feet, and the dogs surrounded them.

"Aww man, what a mess. You're definately owing me a date after we school these guys." Tomoko said, glancing back at Bobby.

"No, he's dating me!" Anzu said.

"Now's not the time!" Tomoko said, reaching into her coat and producing a pair of boomerangs, then she added, "and he's _so_ dating me!" she added.

"See that? I'm gone for a few days and some other guy gets to live out my fantasy. They're so hot, I'd _so_ hit that!" A third voice said, and Bobby felt someone lift him up off the ground.

"How'd you escape?" Bobby demanded.

"Oh turns out that forsaken house you had me in, teenagers use it as a make out spot. But it was like five couples before I could convince any of them to untie me. They all thought I was some creepy pervert."

"You are." Tomoko scoffed.

"Yeah but I was tied up so what was I gonna do to them? Luckily this nice pair untied me and-"

Bobby sighed, "Fine, whatever. You guys have to get out of here!"

"Nope, cant do it, you're part of the gang now." Anzu said, drawing her katana.

"Aww Slade . . . got yourself a new gang huh?" Fenrir grinned, "They all gonna die like our old one in Hong Kong?"

"Not if I can help it." Bobby scowled.

"You signed on with a weak bunch, they sure don't look like Unusuals . . . how do you figure they stand a chance of surving?" Fenrir asked and the two Recycler clones disintigrated back into paper, filling the sky with a whirlwind of litter that would no doubt soon become lethal implements.

Bobby glared, "Because they've got something you'll never have again; me on their side!" He reached out and grabbed both Anzu and Tomoko by the wrist and shoved both women back, he spun around and thrust both palms forward, all three Koruda fighters flew several feet and fell into the water that Bobby had been trying to reach. The swarm of paper cut through the air after them but became useless as it hit the water, Bobby smirked, even though the paper was cutting him too.

He'd succeeded now where he'd failed before, he couldnt save his friends before . . . but he'd saved these people, and if he'd lived a bit longer maybe they could have become . . .

Everything went red, and he fell to the ground.

He'd never rescue her . . . maybe he'd been silly to try.

**------**

The boy saw the spout of water and saw a strange sight indeed.

A woman dressed in black with a face mask fighting against a beautiful young girl and her pet piglet!

The woman he recognized as a Nekekami easily enough, but the girl and her pig? Who the hell knew?

No wait, he _did_ know! This was a poor teenage girl who obviously couldnt even afford cloths that fit since her outfit was very baggy-except in the bust-and her pet pig, she was for some reason a target of the Nekekami.

Well he hadn't found the Chosen One, but he'd rescue this damesel, no question!

He glared down at the Nekekami woman, it didnt mater who she was or what her story was, she was Nekekami and so she had to die. "I, Tokai Boyan, enemy of the Spirit Cat's guild hereby challenge you to battle!" He shouted.

The Nekekami looked up at him and the red headed teenager kicked her in the face, sending her back several feet.

"Ain't got much do ya toxic girl?" The teenager scoffed.

Tokai was undaunted, he didnt care if it didnt seem like the girl needed his help. He leapt down and landed in front of her, "Step back little lady," he told her, "I am a super hero, and I'm going to rescue you. You can reward me by letting me take you out on a date later."

"What?" The teenage girl demanded, probably too amazed at her good fortune to think of anything else.

Tokai grinned wickedly at the Nekekami, "Hey you, you know what happens to people who hit girls?"

"No, what?" The woman demanded.

"Me either, so when I send you to hell make sure to ask the devil for me, bitch." Tokai said, and he thrust both his hands forward . . . nothing happened. "Aw shit it's too wet here!" He groaned.

"You've got quite a mouth on you," The woman smirked, "But you obviously dont have what it takes to back it up." She removed her shirt, Tokai put a finger to his nose to make sure it didnt start to bleed.

Man this girl had a nice figure, even if her goodies were covered up by a sports bra.

"My entire torso is covered with a deadly toxin to which _I_ am imune, touch any part of my upper body and you'll be dead, or you'll be paralized and I'll kill you anyway." She took up a fighting stance.

"Can I ask a question?" Tokai asked.

"Go ahead."

"If your whole body is covered in deadly poisons . . . how the heck do you get laid?"

Her eyes narrowed, "I'm not trying to get laid right now."

"No wonder you're so grumpy!" Tokai scoffed.

"Well if I wanted to I could remove the poison, I just . . . y'know what it doesnt matter! We're not here to discuss my sex life, we're here to bring about the end of yours in general! Now die!" She screamed, rushing forward.

She kicked and Tokai leapt high into the air to avoid it, "How much more will you take off if I can beat you up enough?" He asked, landing on her leg, "See if you werent wearing pants I'd be like poisoned or some shit right now."

"You like my little strip-tease? Well why dont you give me a hug?" The assassin asked with a wink.

Well that was too much for Tokai. A half naked woman flirting with him? Yeah it was time to retreat, he was outmatched.

Plus he couldnt use his super powers anyway.

Tokai turned around, grabed the teenager and her pig and ran.

He wasnt afraid, but he needed to get to some place where there was less . . . well, annoying water.

"No worries babe, I'll get you out of this!" Tokai said as he ran.

"Man, P-Chan, I gotta ask ya again, why do I always get the freaks?" The girl sighed.

Her pig just kind of growled-Tokai didnt know pigs could do that! It bit down on his arm repeatedly, luckily for him his thick thermal coat not only kept him from getting too cold, but also kept the pig's vicious attack from drawing blood.

But man he might need a new coat. Fucking pets.

**------**

Anzu struggled to get above the water, there was wet paper everywhere.

Tomoko came up next, followed by Yamato. Tomoko looked around, "Where the heck is Bobby?" She demanded, looking all around her.

She only needed to look up.

"Slade? He's right here." The tall man with a beastly claw said, holding up a limp and lifeless body. "Honestly, Bobby? I'd love to know why he picked such a stupid alias. It's a girl's name too, moron!" He shouted into the dead boy's ear.

Tomoko growled and threw a boomerang, a dog leapt into its path and fell with a whimper.

The man controling the dogs looked at it with distaste, "You just killed some poor little girl's seeing eye dog. Well, not really, but just imagine if you had, how would you live with yourself?"

Tomoko glared, Anzu dove under . . . where was her katana? She came up and Yamato said "Can we just leave? I mean the guy's dead so it's not like we've got any more reason to be here. I'll take you two out if you want."

"You can leave." The beast master shrugged. "I dont care. You're not my targets. Well neither was he, but we had unfinished business. You I got no beef with."

Anzu scowled, she didnt want to just give up and let this guy get away with what he'd done . . . but ultimately Bobby hadn't really been anything to them, he'd been with the team for a while, and died before she could get to know him.

So in the end . . .

"Fuck you!" Tomoko yelled, climbing out of the water.

"No thanks, you're too weak." The man scoffed. He threw his victim asside, and one of those guys in the black trench coat stomped over.

Anzu climbed out of the water, meaning to grab Tomoko and pull her back in, but instead noticed her kanata laying on the ground near her . . .

Well what the heck. Tomoko after all _was_ her friend and she'd known her for a long time.

And she really did want to date Bobby so she couldnt him to die . . . she took up the sword and shouted, "Run if you want to Yamato, we'll take care of these guys!"

Any piece of paper not soaked through by water suddenly began to cirlcle the two women in a whirlwind, Tomoko kept an eye on it, Anzu kept an eye on the man in black.

What the heck was his trick?

Suddenly she was in the water again, yet another person dressed in black had just shoved her in, and Tomoko too!

This person in black was a young woman wearing a trench coat like Tomoko's and wore her silvery hair long and in a double bun, Anzu recognized her from somewhere.

She drew a pair of knives from her coat, "The feared amazon warrior Hand Lotion is here!" The woman shouted at the top of her lungs, "And as a defender of justice and peace she will not allow you to harm these innocent weaklings!"

"Hey, weaklings?" Yamato protested, "That's not nice, you dont even know me!"

Lotion scoffed, "Shut up, _shut up_! Every time, every single time someone has to ruin my cool entrance!"

"Wasn't that cool." Yamato scoffed.

"Stop teasing the woman who's trying to save you!" Lotion cried.

"Indeed." The beast master frowned. "And what do you want? Arent you a Nekekami too? You're Jun's girl."

"No longer!" Lotion said, "I am a free agent now, free of the guilds, free of all of you, and I will lay my life on the line to protect my loved ones . . . none of them are here right now, but these people are at least familiar to me, so I will protect them too!"

"You talk too much."

"Everyone says that! It makes me so . . . so . . ." The chinese girl calmed suddenly and smirked, "So mad I believe you've persuaded me to show you what Master Jun taught me." She purred, and she disappeared.

The dogs went crazy, she reappeared behind the man with the claw and tried to kick him, but a dog intercepted.

She kicked the dog, didnt seem to mind one bit. Anzu caught a glimpse of her eyes, they were freakishly yellow and slit like a cat's eyes.

She leapt over the injured canine and threw herself at the beast master, who spun around and grabbed her head with his claw, "Go to hell, and tell them that Fenrir sent you!" He roared like a lion!

The girl just meowed like a cat.

It gave him pause and he stared at her as if he suspected she was mentally challenged. Anzu was kind of thinking the same thing.

Then the chinese girl kicked him between the legs.

He groaned and fell into the water, the chinese girl dissapeared again and reappared behind the man in black. The paper came to life and flew towards the girl. She became a black blur of movement, then when the paper swarm subsided she cut the man in black twice with her knives, "One, Two, the end of you!" She screamed, and seemed a little confused when he disintigrated into a pile of paper.

Tomoko said something Anzu wouldnt repeat, but Anzu's gaze was suddenly caught on something else.

Bobby was starting to get up.

"Slade . . . still alive? What keeps you going?" Fenrir demanded.

Bobby, or Slade, whoever he was looked towards his enemy with a grogy expression, "Mm? Fenrir?" He held his head, and glared at the swirling paper, "If I let you win . . . how'm I gonna face her again? I wouldnt have the right if after all this time I'm still the same weakling I was back then." He stood up straight and smiled, "I lost my head back there, lost focus when I saw the guy that killed all our old friends. But Oyu, Brock, Tokai, Sora and Maggie, they'd want me to get revenge . . . so I can't just die here . . . and you Fenrir . . . you were our leader, you were supposed to protect them instead you sent them all to their deaths so I guess I have to get you too."

"Gonna kill me little brother?" Fenrir demanded.

Bobby frowned, "No . . . but I'm going to make you wish I did."

Lotion raised a hand, "Fight's over, I won!"

"Idiots, my partner is still out there!" Fenrir said, "And he can kill you all."

"No. He can't." Bobby said simply. "I'd be dead now if he could. It's kind of funny how I've been cut so many times and I havent bled to death . . . funny how I shouldnt even be able to move y'know? But then I realize if I were really in such bad shape I'd be dead. This is illusion, you don't have Recycler with you, you've got a Dream Master, don't you?"

Fenrir stiffened, Bobby smiled, "If he comes out now I won't kill him. If he doesn't . . . he'd better run really fast."

Fenrir swore and suddenly there was a sound.

Someone was running away from behind a dumpster!

Bobby didnt even need to look, he shot his arm out and the runner suddenly floated up into the air and flew towards the water.

"Dumpster diving's a dirty profession, take a bath." Bobby said darkly.

The runner fell into the water, kicked to the surface and screamed until Fenrir bopped him on the head and said "Shut up you failure!"

Bobby sighed. "I'm too tired to kill you. I guess in the end what you guys are doing with the chosen one is none of my business, and killing you wont bring the others back."

"You're going to let us go?" The dream master asked hopefully.

"No, I'm going to drown you." Bobby said simply.

"You're kidding!" Anzu gasped.

"Anyone who doesnt want to die should get out of the water." Bobby said darkly.

Anzu couldnt believe it!

"Good enough for me!" Yamato said, climbing out of the water and grabbing Anzu.

She grabbed Tomoko and Bobby approached the water's edge.

"Bastard!" Fenrir roared and his pack of dogs all charged for Bobby.

He raised his hands and they floated up into the air and rained down into the water.

"You a good swimmer, Fenrir?" Bobby asked darkly. "Getting kind of heavy, arent you? Starting to sink a bit?"  
"You cant do this!" Fenrir protested.

Anzu grabbed Bobby, "Stop!" She said, "You can't just murder them!"

He ignored her and Fenrir and his partner flailed desperately, trying to fight the pull from the bottom.

"C'mon now they're beat!" Tomoko said.

"If I let them go free they'll attack me again." Bobby said with a twisted smile crossing his lips.

Anzu's eyes widened, somehow this just didn't seem believable, this couldnt be happening. Everything she knew about Bobby told her, her heart told her, this wasn't happening.

"We won't go free! We won't go free!" Jun's partner wailed, "Well turn ourselves in to the police! We'll turn ourselves in! I'll tell them everything! Right Fenrir?"

Fenrir glared at Bobby and finally said "Fine! Fine I'll turn myself in, just don't drown me little brother!"

Bobby's twisted smile became a natural and real one. "Okay!" He said brightly, and suddenly the dogs, and the assassins floated gently up out of the water!

The chainlink fence that once kept people from getting casually thrown into the water suddenly wrapped itself around the assassins and the dogs, forming a nice little prison.

Bobby sighed, "Man I'm tired." He said. He looked over his shoulder at Anzu, "Please stop hugging me."

Anzu scowled and shoved him asside, "You bastard!" She snapped, "And here I wanted to rescue you!"

He just shrugged. "Yeah, and I really appreciate that."

"But you would have drowned them, you would have murdered them!" Anzu cried.

Bobby, or Slade, or whoever he was frowned at her. "Do you really think so?"

"I . . . yeah!" Anzu said.

Bobby shrugged. "I've sworn never to take a human life. I could never kill my brother, I cant really even kill most bugs without hesitating. It was a bluff."

Anzu blinked. "Oh." She said.

"You believe me, right?" Bobby asked.

Anzu frowned. "I . . . guess so."

"Man what a wuss, you cant even kill a bug?" Yamato scoffed.

"Shaddap or _I'll _drown ya!" Tomoko scoffed, shoving Yamato into the water again, "It's fine if you can't kill bugs, I can. When we get married I'll be the one who kills the bugs and you can do the dishes and the laundry."

"He can't marry you if he's dating me." Anzu pointed out.

"You don't like him anymore." Tomoko scoffed.

"Yes I do! I was just shocked is all, I'd still go out with him!"

"What am I, chopped liver?" Yamato demanded.

"No you're something that smells and tastes even worse!" Anzu snapped.

"You don't know how I taste!" Yamato scoffed, "Unless . . . unless that dream I had was really . . . no wait that wasn't a dream it was a naughty picture I drew on a bathroom wall . . . yeah, you don't know how I taste!" Yamato said.

Bobby sighed and said "Look thanks for showing up, it means a lot to me. But you three can stay here and talk about dates and livers, just make sure to guard those two until the cops can come. I'll just go get Jun and get my questions answered before the chosen one kills him and the world starts to end, y'know?"

"What?" Lotion screamed, "Ryoga-kun is going to kill Jun?"

"Probably." Bobby shrugged.

"We must stop him!" The amazon cried, "He can't become the new avatar of murder!"

"So let's go!" Tomoko said.

"No, he want's you to stay here . . . with me." Yamato said.

"Say something else Yamato, say one more thing to me and you'll be a girl!" Tomoko said.

"You got nice boobies." Yamato said.

"Anzu, the katana!" Tomoko said, holding out her hand.

Anzu scoffed, "Grow up! Anyway we'll stay here, Yamato go get the police because we don't want you hanging out with us if you're going to use the word 'boobies' and as for you--what the heck?" Anzu frowned.

Bobby and Lotion were already gone.

**------**

Ranma watced as the maksed woman continued to advance on them.

Odd how she kept the mask even though she'd ditched her shirt and her gloves and stuff.

Wasn't she going to say that her face was covered in some silly poison?

"This should be far enough!" The tall man said, dropping Ranma and Ryoga he turned on the woman, "Alright babe, I'm going to fucking blast your ass to hell, any last words? Last requests?"

"Give me the pig." The woman said.

"Is that all? Well okay I--wait no! This pig is the beloved and adorable pet of this young lady and if I give him to you it'll be that much harder for me to get her to agree to go out with me, not that it'll be hard at all since I'm a super hero, and a ladie's man and damn good looking but--hey, hey, hey! Dont you change the subject, let's get back to business . . . the killing of you, by me!"

He laughed, what wa shis name agian? Tokai?

Tokai put his hands together and then shouted "Kahmehameha!"

Nothing happened.

"Powers still not working?" The woman asked.

Tokai grinned, "Naw, just fucking with ya!" He said, sund suddenly he inhaled deep and blew out hard!

He blew fire!

The masked woman screamed and fell back, Tokai grinned sinisterly, "For my next amazing trick, I'm going to make make a bitch disappear, and in her place will be a pile of fucking ashes. Will your poisons be able to affect me when I stomp your fucking ashes into the ground? Let's find out!"

"Oh please!" She moaned, "You've broken the spell, it was just an illusion an evil Dream Master was casting on me . . . I'm just a poor young virgin, don't hurt me! Let me be your fantasy girl and make all your erotic dreams come true!"

"Fuck yeah! Uh I mean . . . hey stop doing that to me!" Tokai groaned.

The woman got up and said "I'll see you again some time!" She left, leaping off onto buildings in the distance.

"Hah, I'll get you and burn you to fucking cinders!" He said and he seemed about to follow.

But Ranma grabbed his hand, "Wait! Can you do that fire thingy again?"

"Yeah, sure, does it turn you on? Does it make you _hot_ baby? Haha, see what I did there with the word play?"

Ranma wanted to hit this guy. "See that fountian over there? Can you please heat up the water for me?"

"Uh sure baby. What for?"

"I want to take a nice warm bath and then thank you for saving me!" Ranma said in a sweet voice. "You know what I mean by 'thank you', dont you?" Ranma added suggestively.

Steem came out of the Pyro's ears and he blew a great flame onto the fountain until it was boiling.

Ranma wouldnt get in while it was boiling, but he tossed Ryoga in.

Ryoga came up screaming.

"The fuck just happened?" Tokai demanded. "That pig just became a dude!"

"Yeah, sure did." Ranma said, and then she leapt inot the water as well and came out a he.

"Shit man, what the hell? This aint cool!" Tokai said.

"Yeah. Well thanks for helping me." Ranma said, keeping his word. He said he'd thank the guy, didn't say he'd do anything in return.

"Dude that's so not cool . . . but can you show me how you did that? I've always wanted to become a girl!"

"Are you serious?" Ranma asked, taking a step back.

"Hell yes! Think about it, go into the fucking women's baths man!"

"And what would you do there?" Ranma asked, "You'd be lacking your favorite equipment."

"I'd was a lot of backs, wash a lot of fronts, and take some fucking pictures." Tokai said with a firm nod.

Ranma scratched his head, "You and Akane aren't going to get along very well. But maybe she'll stop calling me a pervert once she meets you."

**To Be Continued . . .**

**Next Time:** Lotion returns to the Tendo Training Hall, Nabiki runs afoul of Tosa, but it seems the assassin isnt interested in kidnapping her, or even fighting her after all. The K-Fighters lick their wounds and Dr. Tofu might help Ukyo understand a few things. Kasumi in turn might just help Ryoga understand a thing or two as well, concerning Nabiki. Fenrir and Maro will begin to formulate plans to escape from prison, all they need is a bag of sporks . . . wait, sporks?


End file.
